Eternita Il Divo Fan Fics Library & Assorted Info

Fan Fics Library Site Il Divo
 
PORTALHomeCalendarGalleryFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in

Come Join IL Divo on their 1st Cruise. Nov 30-Dec 4, 2017

EXCLUSIVE 6-NIGHT THEATER ENGAGEMENT SEPTEMBER, 20, 22, 23, 27, 29, 30 "THE VENETIAN" Las Vegas

Share | 
 

 IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:42 pm

Cast of characters.

Urs Buhler.
Sebastien Izambard.
David Miller.
Carlos Marin.
Icebox 1979 - Esther.
JJ - Joy.
Fara1903 - Fara
Kazyjay - Karen.

If I Let You Go fanfic by kazyjay.

1


Urs Toni Buhler had waited all this life to fall in love. Then it had to happen at the most inconvenient moment of his life. He wasn’t the sort that did dating. He went for convenience. Availability. Whatever, or in his case, whoever, female, was around. He couldn’t do dating. Putting himself out there, waiting to meet the right one for him. That wasn’t him. Then, when he least expected it to happen. It happened. He remembered the moment exactly. He and the rest of his band mates, IL DIVO were on stage, during a concert. In the middle of singing, ‘Every time I look at you.’
How appropriate. And he saw her. The love of his life. The woman of his dreams. Standing in the crowd, two rows from the front, singing along with him. That was Urs’ one defining moment. From then on he knew his life would never be the same ever again. It couldn’t. For everything as he had ever known it was about to change. Not all good changes either. Still, these things were sent to test us. As Urs would soon find out.

Urs stumbled of the stage in a daze. ‘I must find her. I must meet her.’ he muttered to himself. His fellow band mates looked at him like he was crazy. Which, I suppose at that point in his life he probably was.
‘Find who?’ David asked, laying a hand on his shoulder.
‘The woman…of my dreams.’ he replied, staring into space. Not wanting to blink in case the image of her that was currently imprinted on his eyeballs suddenly went and he lost her.
‘Thought you’d already found her!’ Seb laughed.
‘Eh…?’ Urs stared at Seb.
‘Tamara.’ he reminded Urs.
‘No. Not her…’
‘Someone else?’ Carlos asked.
‘Yes, someone else.’ Urs nodded.
‘Then go find her mate.’ Carlos urged.
‘I plan to.’ Urs nodded.
‘Ursy! There you are.’ suddenly came a rather loud, screeching noise. Urs reluctantly turned around and suppressed a groan.
‘Ursy!’ Tamara, or Tammy as she liked to be known screeched again.
‘Tamara…’ Urs sighed, feeling his dreams start to slip away. He refused to call her Tammy. Made her sound like a little girl. A little spoilt girl.
‘I have news!’ she flashed her long, fake eyelashes at him.
‘Oh?’ Urs finally blinked, letting the image of his perfect love finally go.
‘I’m pregnant Ursy!’ Tamara happily announced.
‘You’re…?’ he stared, open mouthed at her.
‘Pregnant! You are going to be a daddy!’ she cooed.
‘But I thought…I thought..’ he muttered.
‘I changed my mind.’ Tamara announced.
‘You changed your mind…?’
‘I decided. That we should have a family after all.’
‘But it wasn’t your decision…’
‘It was Ursy. My body. My decision.’
‘I told you, that I didn’t want…I never want children.’
‘Yeah, and?’ Tamara challenged.
‘Oh god…oh god…’
‘Isn’t it wonderful? don’t you just love it? Daddy! Mummy!’ Tamara beamed at her shocked boyfriend unaware of what she had just done. Knocked the final nail in his coffin. Urs was now officially trapped. With no way out. Trapped. And he only had himself to blame. Oh god. Oh no. Oh god.

‘What happened mate? Did you find her?’ David asked Urs later that evening as he sat in the hotel bar, drinking alcohol. Not a sight that David was used to seeing. Urs, consuming alcohol.
‘No.’ Urs shook his head and sniffed, like he was crying. Or at least had been crying.
‘Why not? I thought she was your ‘’the one’’?’
‘Tamara’s….pregnant.’
‘Oh mate. Oh no…’
‘I couldn’t…I can’t just abandon my child.’
‘Yes you could.’ David said.
‘No I couldn’t. I’m not like that. I have a duty.’
‘But you don’t love Tamara…’
‘I have a duty.’ Urs repeated sadly.
‘Urs…’
‘No. I have to let her go. I have my duty. I’ve got to put our…child first.’ he sighed.
‘Oh Urs. Urs.’ David sighed in disappointment.
That was Urs all over. Letting the one thing he really wanted go. Because he had his duty to do. So here he was - stuck with the woman he didn’t love, probably for the rest of his life, because that woman had decided, had gone against his wishes and had decided to make him a father. Not something Urs had ever wanted to be. He had made that feeling completely clear to Tamara. David knew she was blonde. A fake blonde but was she really that thick? Obviously her trapping Urs was either the most stupidest thing she had ever done. Or the most genius. Making Urs feel that he had to stay with her. To do his duty. He would never walk out on his responsibility or force Tamara to have an abortion. So - he was stuck. And what made it worse was it happened to happen on the exact same night as Urs had spied, finally, the one for him. After thinking it would never happen it had. But he was powerless to do a single thing about it. Stuck. Chained. To the wrong women. The completely revolting Tamara. A woman not David, Carlos or ladies man Seb liked at all.

It turned out that Tamara was three months pregnant. She had kept it from him until now so it was almost too late to do anything about it. Not that Urs would have forced her to.
She knew the exact moment it had happened. She had stopped taking her pill well over a month before. It had been on her and Urs’ ‘’anniversary.’’ Two years to the day they had got together. It had taken Tamara a long time to get Urs. As soon as she had met him she wanted him. But he had been dating someone else. All she had had to do was sit back and wait. Not long after his relationship had started going wrong. Conveniently there she was, in prime position to not only stick in the knife but to also lend a ‘’shoulder to cry on.’’
Urs had never once discovered that it was she who had caused him and his girlfriend to split up. Who would have known that Valeria was the worrying type. Insecure about her relationship. It had just taken a few text messages. An odd word and one photo and Valeria and Urs were split up. As easy as taking candy away from a baby. Too simple by halves. Then she just moved in. Being there when he needed someone. Acting sympathetic. Easy peasy. But it hadn’t been an easy ride from there on. Far from it. Urs, before he had even started sleeping with her had insisted on her going on the pill. OK, she had done that. Reluctantly. Then she had had to find things they had in common. Not a lot. Urs liked motorbikes. Rock music. Guitars and collecting antiques. Tamara liked make up. Pop music. Fashion and exotic holidays. Urs hated going on holidays. Of any sort. Tamara loved spending money. Preferably Urs’ money. It had been hard work keeping him interested. At least she could use sex as a weapon. If he ever refused anything she just refused sex. It worked like a dream. In all that time spent with Urs, Tamara kept dropping hints about marriage. But either Urs refused to acknowledge it or was really stupid. So she decided to do the one thing she felt she could guarantee a white wedding - got pregnant. Genius. Urs’ reaction to the pregnancy wasn’t exactly what she had expected it to be. OK. It was a shock. He hadn’t wanted a child. Ever. But still. She expected at least a little faked happiness. Not for him to go out and get drunk. So much for her dreams of celebrating the pregnancy with a lot of champagne, a little making love and a rather big diamond engagement ring. None of that had happened. At all. It was now three weeks later and Tamara was still waiting. They were just about to see their baby for the first time. At the scan. Tamara was excited. Why couldn’t Urs be too? It was no use in talking to him. He just didn’t seem interested in anything she had to say anymore. OK, it was all about swollen ankles, feeling bloated. Morning sickness. Baby names and baby stuff. Tamara had made a list. An expensive list of what she felt they needed the most. Including something Urs had made a comment on - a nanny. Tamara was insisting on one once the baby was born.
‘I thought, that was your job..’ Urs had told her.
‘Excuse me?’ she had stammered.
‘Well…you will be the mother…’
‘I have a career!’ she had stamped her foot.
‘What career?’ he asked. Opps. He had her there.
Her main career had been, spending his money. Before that, for a few weeks she had been his and the rest of IL DIVO’s make up assistant. Until she had snagged Urs.
‘I…I used to work.’ she had huffed.
‘Yeah, used to.’ he had muttered under his breath.
‘Excuse me…?’
‘Nothing.’ he had smiled innocently back at her.
Tamara expected to feel something, something, on seeing her child during the scan. But actually felt….nothing. Not one thing. Well, apart from heartburn and discomfort. She didn’t like the fact that having a baby meant losing her figure. She was almost four months pregnant and had no waist. None of her clothes fitted. If only I had thought this through properly. She had thought, staring at the grey screen which apparently showed her baby.
‘WOW.’ Urs gazed at the screen.
‘Yeah…wow.’ she agreed, sarcastically.
Then the heartbeat started. On hearing that Urs fell in love. With his child. And at the same time Tamara immediately wished she hadn’t done this. It hurt. It was uncomfortable. It was all going wrong.
‘Baby’s first picture.’ the nurse printed out a grey picture. She tried to hand it to Tamara who just ignored it.
‘Thanks.’ Urs smiled, taking it instead.
‘Don’t know why you’re keeping it. I mean, its not like you can see anything..’ Tamara moaned.
‘You can. Look - hands. Feet. Head.’ Urs pointed out the various body parts.
‘I can’t see anything Ursy…’ she complained.
‘You should try looking.’ he snapped back.
‘I feel sick…’
‘You’re pregnant. Of course you’re sick.’
‘Like you’d know.’ she snapped back.
‘Don’t get at me. It was your idea to get pregnant. Not mine.’
‘Yeah, like you’re perfect.’ Tamara snapped again.
‘I told you. I didn’t want children. I meant it.’
‘Yeah? Well I’m pregnant. Deal with it!’
‘I suggest you also deal with it.’ Urs quoted her back.
‘Bastard.’ Tamara muttered under her breath.
‘Yeah? Well. You’d know.’ he smiled back at her.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:45 pm

2.
The months went on. Still no marriage proposal came. Tamara felt like stamping her feet. Demanding a wedding. But Urs still refused to budge. He did buy a huge house thought. And furnished an expensive nursery. Giving her everything she wanted on her list. Everything that is, except, from the nanny.
‘I want a nanny.’ she complained one morning after waiting and waiting for him to get around to mentioning it. The one thing left on the list that he refused to do..
‘Yeah, and?’
‘I demand a nanny.’ she stamped her foot. She was now nearly 8 months pregnant. She was fat and bloated. She looked in the mirror and saw a bleached whale. Urs just saw a grumpy woman. Someone he still couldn’t bring himself to love. OK, he now loved his baby. Had fallen in love with his child on seeing the very first scan. Was so looking forward to meeting him, or her. But that was it. He didn’t love Tamara. Couldn’t make himself love her and oh how he had tried. So very much. It still wouldn’t come. Still wouldn’t, couldn’t happen.
‘OK. Fine.’ Urs held his hands up, ‘you want a nanny?’ he finally relented. Sick of having arguments nearly everyday. Everyday Tamara found something else to moan about. Something else to complain about. He knew her hormones were playing up but surely it couldn’t be like this with every pregnant woman, could it?
‘Yes. I do.’ she nodded in surprise.
‘Fine. But you pick her.’
‘OK I will.’ she smirked, ‘I’m picking an ugly woman!’
‘Just as long as they are good at their job, then I don’t care what she looks like.’ Urs bite back, surprising her.
He had a feeling the nanny had better be good at her job. For Tamara certainly wasn’t planning on nursing her own child. In fact, she wasn’t planning on doing anything with her child. As soon as she had given birth she was going to dump the child on the nanny then go to the gym. To get her figure back as soon as possible. She wasn’t losing Urs now. She was still holding out for her wedding ring. She even made a point of dragging him into every jewellers they past. Pointing out the engagement rings she liked the most. Hinting. Always hinting. So far no go. But Tamara refused to lose hope. She refused to give up. She was so close. So very, very close to everything she had ever wanted.

Picking a nanny herself bored the hell out of Tamara. Having to go through all the CV’s. Reading them. Then interviewing. Then there were the checks. Seeing if they had a police record. Seeing if they liked IL DIVO. Tamara refused to employ a fan. She didn’t want anyone trying to flirt with her man. Trying to steal her man from right under her nose. Oh no. That wasn’t going to happen. Especially not on her watch.
She narrowed the nanny’s down to two possibilities. An old-ish woman in her fifties. Partly deaf. Greying hair. And a youngish woman. Well. She was 28. Dull brown hair. Uninteresting looking brown eyes. Mousy looking. She decided to take a chance. To flip a coin. Heads for the old woman. Tails for the mousy one. It came down tails.
‘You’ll do.’ she muttered to the photographed CV of the mousy one. Yep. She had made all the possibilities send in a photograph. It saved her a lot of time while interviewing. The young, good looking women immediately went in the reject pile no matter how much experience they had. The older or dull looking women, well the ones she thought where dull looking, she at least checked the CV’s over before doing security checks on them. That is how she had come to find Esther. She looked rather dull. Rather boring. Ha. Ha. Ha. If only she knew then what Tamara knew now. If only.

Esther loved children. Small children. Big children. Babies. Toddlers. Any children. That is why when she turned 18 she knew exactly what she wanted to do for a living. Look after children. Become a nanny. Whatever. So she worked hard at school. Then went on to college. She learnt all about children. In the end of her schooling she passed with flying colours. The top of her class. Year. Her first job was at a nursery. Looking after babies up to five years old. She was so good that in two years she ran the nursery. But that meant giving up looking after the children personally. Everyone, the nursery owners, staff members and parents of the children were all shocked when Esther resigned her job.
‘I’m not doing what I trained to do.’ she explained.
‘What will you do now then?’ one parent asked.
‘I’m going to be a nanny.’ she smiled.
‘Good choice.’ everyone agreed.
‘Lucky child.’ one parent agreed.
Esther really was that good at her job. So when the job of being a nanny had come up she had jumped at the chance. The job seemed like that of a lifetime. The chance to look after a new born baby almost single handily. The mother had no intention of being around much. Esther was over the moon when she heard she had got the job.
‘Oh! Thank you!’ she had told the expected mother to be, ‘I won’t let you down.’
‘You had better not.’ Tamara had muttered, ‘it’s a live in position.’ she had then explained.
‘I’d expect no more.’ Esther had nodded. After all, how could she possibly look after the baby 24/7 otherwise?
‘You’ll start, as soon I’ve given birth.’
‘You don’t want even a week?’ Esther had asked.
‘To do what?’
‘Bond…with your baby…’
‘God no. No. I’ve more important things to do.’ Tamara had laughed.
OK. It was like that then. Right. Esther could do this. She was born to do this job.
‘I’ll expect you to work until the child at least goes to school. Boarding school.’ Tamara had then told Esther.
She had only nodded. If she had opened her mouth and objected she knew she would have been out of her job. Her dream job. So she kept her mouth shut. She bite her tongue and kept her feelings to herself. It was the only way. The best way.

‘I’ve got my dream job.’ Esther announced to her best friend a few days after receiving the phone call from Tamara telling her that she had got the job. They were in a local café, having a good old get together. Esther loved seeing her friends but didn’t get to do it very often. And changing her job wouldn’t make that any better. It would, in fact, make it worse. A lot worse. It was just good that she had a lot of understanding friends. Like this one. Named Karen. She had known Karen for years. Had met at college while doing her nursery course. Karen had been doing dress making. She was now a rather famous designer. She owned and worked on a fashion range called ‘Karenza fashions.’
‘Which is?’ her friend, Karen, asked.
‘I’m to be a nanny.’ she smiled.
‘Oh. To….anyone interesting?’ Karen enquired. She liked famous people. They made great models for her clothes. Male or female. Karen would dress them all.
‘I have absolutely no idea.’ Esther shook her head.
‘Oh…shame.’
‘But I’m sorry to say, pardon my French, but the mother to be….she sounds rather like a…a bitch.’
‘That bad eh?’ Esther wasn’t known for her use of bad language. She normally loved everyone. And everyone loved her. But to call her soon to be employer a bitch Esther’s friend knew that something was up.
‘She, the mother, doesn’t intend to spend anytime with her child.’ Esther sighed, telling her friend the sad news.
‘What? Not at all?’ Karen gasped in surprise.
Esther shook her head. ‘Nope. But I’m hoping, once the baby is born, that her maternal instincts will kick in. I mean a baby needs its mother.’
‘Isn’t that what you’re there for?’
‘No, not really. I’m just there to help. Not completely take over, which it sounds like I will be doing.’
‘I’m sure you’ll be able to work you magic Est.’ Karen laid a reassuring hand on top of her friends in sympathy.
‘I sure hope so. The baby needs the love of its mother.’ Esther sighed.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:47 pm

3.
In no time at all, or so it seemed, Tamara’s due date was coming. She and Urs had already had a row about how the baby was going to be born.
‘I’m having a caesarean.’ she announced one morning while sitting across from him at the breakfast table.
‘Eh? What?’ Urs blinked the sleep out of his eyes and put down the paper he had been trying to read.
‘A caesarean.’ she repeated.
‘But why…?’
‘I’m not ruining my figure anymore. Pushing this thing out.’ Tamara glared down at her stomach. She was feeling even more grumpy then normal. She loved sex. But for the past 2 months they hadn’t been. Sleeping together. Not at all. The only possible position they could have sex in was the doggy and Tamara refused. She liked watching Urs’ face as he realised who he was having sex with. Her. In the doggy she wouldn’t be able to see his face and so it would be easy for Urs to close his eyes and imagine someone else. Like her. Whoever she was. The woman he had been planning on leaving her for until she had dropped her oh so very timely bombshell about making him a father. For she knew. All about the perfect woman he had apparently found. She had been outside the dressing room as he had told his friends about her. And how dare they. Egg him on! Like it was there place to do such a thing! Urging him on to go and find her. Ha. Well Tamara’s timely announcement had put paid to that. She couldn’t have timed it better if she had tried!!
‘Who said you could have…?’ Urs mumbled.
‘I talked it over with my doctor.’ she smirked. Actually, she had had a rather loud argument with her doctor about it. But Urs didn’t need to know that. He didn’t need to know all the fickle details about what had happened. It had taken a lot of arguing with the doctor over that. So what if she was fit? So what if she could easily give birth the normal way? It wasn’t what Tamara wanted. And she always, always got what she wanted. In the end.
‘Oh. Right.’ he nodded as if in a daze.
‘Plus,’ she then added, ‘I’m certainly not breast feeding.’
‘But the baby…’
‘Will have a very capable nanny to take care of all its needs.’
‘It?’ Urs didn’t like this. Every time Tamara mentioned the baby it was always to call them it. Never her or him. It. Every time. It annoyed Urs. It was nasty. The baby wasn’t an inconvenience like she tried to make them out to be. But a living, breathing fact. He or she was real and would soon be here to prove his point.
‘Him, or her.’ she spat. She hated, hated him correcting her. But he did it. Every time. Like she was some stupid little child and he was her parent. Ha.
‘Is there anything at all you plan on doing for our child?’ Urs then asked.
‘Isn’t carrying the damn thing, sorry him or her, around for nine months enough?’
‘See. Another reason why I didn’t, why I never wanted to be a father.’ he muttered.
‘Yeah, well. You’re too late. The damage is already done.’ Tamara smirked.
‘Don’t think we’re ever repeating this.’ Urs warned.
‘Oh, you’ve no need to worry darling.’ Tamara crooned, ‘once…it, he or she, is born I’m having myself done.’
‘Pity, you hadn’t had yourself done before.’ Urs muttered under his breath.
This wasn’t turning out at all as Tamara had expected. She still expected daily for Urs to drop to his knees, declare his undying love for her then produce the most expensive looking engagement ring ever created. Every day Tamara expected. Every day she was disappointed. Maybe, maybe he was waiting until it had been born. The baby. Yes. Then when Tamara was back to normal size she could plan the most spectacular wedding. It would be the sort that would hit the headlines. OK and HELLO magazine could complete against who would publish the photographs. Tamara could imagine the headline and photo. She would look like a princess in a world designer dress. A original. There would be no copies. Not ever. Urs would look OK to in his morning suit. The child would be pictured too. If it had to be. The headline would read, ‘IL DIVO marries his stunning bride in beautiful location.’ or something like that. Yes. Yes. That would do wonderfully well thank you very much.
‘Ursy…honey.’ she tried smoothing.
‘Yes, what?’ he snapped. The one thing he hated. Was being called Ursy. It made him sound like a blasted dog.
‘Couldn’t we have sex…?’ she tried batting her eyelashes, fake ones at that, at him.
‘I don’t think so Tamara.’ he tried not to cringe. Tamara was a woman who didn’t look at all good without make up and as it was first thing in the morning. Her face was enough to turn Urs of wanting sex. For life. With her or with anyone else for that matter.
‘Oh, but Ursy…’
‘You’re too pregnant. And anyway, the only position we could have it in, is the one you hate.’ he sensibly pointed out.
‘Only because I like you looking at me…when you come.’ she winked.
‘Hmm…’ he muttered.
‘You could try it…the right way around.’ she tried smiling sweetly at him.
‘No Tamara. Not right now.’
‘Oh…Ursy.’
‘I told you, don’t call me that.’ he snapped.
‘But I’m desperate!’ she cried.
‘Yeah, and?’ he asked.
‘So are you.’ she then said.
‘No I’m not.’ he laughed.
‘Don’t think I never hear you. Every morning. Jacking off in the shower.’ she shuddered.
‘Yeah, and?’
‘Its not…its not natural.’ she complained.
‘Yes it is.’ he declared in his defence.
‘No it isn’t.’
‘Every man does it.’
‘No they don’t.’ she laughed.
‘Yes, they do. Just ask any man.’
‘I bet Leonardo Di Caprio doesn’t.’ Tamara snapped. He was her favourite actor. She thought the sun set in his arse or something like that.
‘Even he does.’ Urs snapped.
‘No. I don’t believe you.’ she shrilled.
‘Yeah. Well. Whatever. Have it your way.’ it was just no use arguing with her sometimes. Tamara wanted everything her own way. Every damn time. She was never wrong. Never. Plus, she never took responsibility for anything she ever did that turned out to be wrong. She thought that she was perfect and everyone else had the problem.

Now the day had finally arrived. The day Urs and Tamara’s baby was to be born. By caesarean. Elective caesarean. Not something Urs wanted. Then again what did he know? He was only the father. No one important. He had no say in the matter. Whatsoever. To add salt into the wound he wasn’t even allowed, on Tamara’s instructions to come in to watch his child being born. So he had to sit outside, in the waiting room until it was done.
‘When its out.’ Tamara had said, ‘I’ll hold it…then the nanny will come in and take over.’
‘And then what?’ Urs had asked.
‘I’ll get my figure back of course!’ she had laughed, thinking he was stupid.
‘So, the nanny is here then?’
‘She’ll be in my private room. Waiting as arranged. I’m assuming I do have a private room?’ she enquired.
‘As par your wishes. Yes.’ Urs had nodded and sighed. Another expense for him to fork out. She did like spending his money he soon found out after he had started dating her. Not that she didn’t have money of her own to spent. For she did. Being employed by IL DIVO gave her a generous wage. No. She just liked spending Urs’ money better. No wonder he was slowly but surely going bankrupt. So much for retiring in a few years time. When he reached 40 he had planned on taking things much easier. But he couldn’t do that now. Not with Tamara and a new mouth to feed.
‘Well then. Now, must go.’ and with that, a rather ugly looking nurse had come to wheel Tamara away. It was baby time at long last. They had picked the hospital, private hospital that is, with care. Urs wanted somewhere private. Tamara had wanted somewhere they had a lot of ugly doctors and nurses. Well, nurses mainly. She wasn’t about to let a woman in a uniform turn Urs’ head. And although she had insisted her personal nanny wear an outfit, she had picked, what she thought to be the most revolting outfit she could find. Black trousers. To hide the nanny’s legs. Frumpy orange shirt. Her hair was to be worn up. At all times. No make-up or jewellery allowed. Flat shoes. The overall effect was revolting. Exactly what Tamara had been going for. Prefect. Completely perfect. Or so she thought.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:49 pm

4.
Urs sat outside where Tamara was having her caesarean. He wondered what was taking so long. It seemed to be hours since she had gone in. he had tried pacing up and down the corridor but that hadn’t lasted long. He kept having strange visions. Of her. His ideal woman. The one who had been at his concert all those months ago. But no. That couldn’t be right. So he took to sitting down. Trying to clear his head. She wouldn’t be here. Would she? Could she? He pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Nope. Not asleep. He could already see a bruise starting to form on his hand. Concentrate Urs. Concentrate. Today is not the day to be going mad. No. Today is the day you are going to be a father. Something you didn’t ever want to happen, but it is. Now you’re trapped. Well and truly. With someone you don’t love. Who, to be honest you don’t even like anymore. You certainly don’t desire her anymore. You want out of this relationship but you’ve stayed. Because you are a coward. The worst sort out. Its your own fault. You only have yourself to blame. Should have kept wearing condoms. Should have never stopped. Certainly should have never trusted her when she declared that she was fine with taking control of the birth control. For she had taken control. She had gone and used it against you. Serves you right. You coward. You big stupid coward.
‘Mr Buhler?’ a nurse gently tapped him on his shoulder.
Urs looked up at her and blinked, ‘Yes?’ he asked.
‘Your son has been born Mr Buhler.’
‘Oh. Right. OK. Thanks.’ he nodded.
‘He’s with your wife. Sir.’
‘Eh?’
‘Your wife Sir. Mrs Tamara Buhler.’
‘She’s not my wife.’ he corrected.
‘Oh, but I thought..’ the nurse murmured.
‘And never will be.’ he stood up.
‘In there Sir.’ the nurse pointed the way where Tamara and his new son was.
In a daze, Urs walked into the room. He couldn’t believe the sight that waited him. Tamara was sitting up in bed. Made up to the nines, complete with revolting slimy lipstick on her mouth. Her hair shiny. Her make up perfect. In her arms, she held, although looked rather uncomfortable in doing so, holding, Urs’ son.
Wrapped in a blue blanket. Urs could see a tiny hand sticking up. A tiny veined hand. A perfect hand.
He walked over to her. ‘Here, hold it.’ she snapped, trusting his son at him. Urs carefully handed the baby. He gazed down at his own flesh and blood in awe. He looked perfect.
‘Meet Leonardo Lucas Roberts.’ Tamara declared.
‘Hello Leo.’ Urs smiled at his son. Forgetting to correct her. Leonardo wasn’t a Roberts, but a Buhler. After him, Urs Toni Buhler.
‘Leonardo.’ Tamara corrected, ‘not Leo. Leonardo. Remember it.’ she snapped.
‘Sorry.’ Urs apologised, ‘Leonardo.’
‘That’s right. Remember it. Leonardo.’
‘After your favourite…’
‘Yes. Well. The…Leonardo is going to be a star. I can feel it. Like his name sake. The wonderful Leonardo Di Caprio.’
‘Mmm. Well, we’ll see.’
‘Right. Nurse! Nurse!’ Tamara then called. Or rather, shouted.
The nurse who had informed Urs of his son’s birth appeared at the door. ‘Yes Miss?’ she asked.
‘Get the nanny.’ Tamara demanded.
‘Of course Mrs…I mean Miss. She is waiting outside.’
‘Well don’t just stand there! Bring her in!’ Tamara snapped.

On seeing the nanny, Urs almost, but not quite, almost dropped his son. He hadn’t been seeing things earlier. It really was her. His dream woman. She was here. In this hospital. Wearing the most hideous outfit Urs had ever seen. But despite all that she still looked beautiful. Amazing. Sexy.
‘Esther. Take the…child.’ Tamara demanded of her.
‘Of course Miss Roberts.’ Esther almost, but not quite, curtsied. She then gently took baby Leonardo out of his fathers arms. Urs was too stunned to stop her or to object. He blinked. No. Thank god. She didn’t disappear. She was still here. In this private hospital room, wearing that revolting outfit.
‘Hi…I’m…err.’ he coughed, ‘Urs.’ he held his hand out.
‘Sir.’ Esther nodded.
Urs dropped his hand, ‘So, you’re our nanny?’ he smiled.
‘Yes Sir. I am.’ she nodded again.
‘Take Leonardo now. I need a nap.’ Tamara demanded.
‘Of course Miss Roberts.’ Esther bowed her head then left the room, taking a sleeping baby with her.
‘So, that’s the nanny.’ Urs said after she’d gone.
‘Yes, that’s the best I could do.’ Tamara complained.
‘She seems…nice.’
‘Nice? Nice?’ she demanded, ‘she isn’t here to be nice. She’s here to do her job.’
‘And I am sure…’
‘Esther.’ Tamara snapped.
‘I’m sure Esther will do a very good job.’
‘Hmmm…’ she moaned in response.
‘Maybe I should just go and…’
‘And what Urs?’ Tamara demanded.
‘And…see Leonardo again.’
‘No. Leave him. He’s sleeping.’
‘But I want to hold him again.’
‘You’ll wake him. Then he’ll scream. And I don’t do screaming.’
‘Isn’t that what Esther is here for?’ Urs asked.
‘Suppose…’
‘Well then.’
‘But I need…’ Tamara started to complain.
‘What?’ he asked.
‘I need you here…’
‘I’ll be back in a few moments.’ Urs lied.
‘You’d better be.’ she snapped before he walked away.

Urs found Esther, and Leonardo, in the next room. Leonardo was in a cot, sleeping. Esther was mixing something.
‘Baby formula.’ she told him when he had asked.
‘So, Esther.’ he smiled at her.
‘Sir.’
‘Call me Urs, please.’
‘No. I can’t.’
‘Oh?’ he enquired.
‘Miss Roberts…she said I was to call you Sir or Mr Buhler.’
‘Oh. Right.’ he nodded sadly.
‘Miss Roberts told me, that I am not to forget. You and she are my employers and so I must respect that, at all times.’
‘Pity..’ Urs sighed.
‘Would you like to hold you son again, Sir?’ Esther then asked.
‘I would. Yes please.’
So Esther stopped what she was doing and carefully and gently picked up Leonardo and handed him to Urs. Urs sat and held his child.
‘Isn’t he amazing?’ he asked, gazing at his son.
‘Yes Sir. He is.’ Esther agreed.
‘Then again, I suppose all parents think their child is amazing.’
‘Considering how hard it is to conceive one Sir..’
‘Do you have children Esther?’ he looked at her and asked.
‘No Sir.’
‘But you like looking after them.’
‘That I do. Sir.’
‘Have you ever wanted any…?’ he then asked.
‘Yes.’ she nodded. ‘But I doubt I’ll ever get the chance. Sir.’
‘Oh Esther, please call me Urs.’
‘I can’t. Sir.’
‘In private you could.’ he smiled.
‘But Miss Roberts said…’ Esther started to mumble.
‘Tamara, Miss Roberts, isn’t here Esther.’
‘Sir…’
‘Urs please.’ he asked again.
‘OK Sir..’
‘Pardon?’
‘Urs.’ she corrected.
‘That’s better Esther.’ he smiled, ‘much better.’
‘But if Miss Roberts ever finds out…’
‘She won’t Esther. I can promise you that.’
‘OK. Urs.’ she finally smiled.
Wow. Urs thought. She had such a beautiful smile. When she did smile it light up her whole face. Her whole beautiful face.
‘Thank you Esther.’ he smiled, making her blush. He wondered if she knew. If she realised what affect her just being here was having on him. Driving him slowly but surely crazy inside. He had finally met his ‘’the one.’’ The woman of his dreams. Only to discover that he was to be her boss! At least he could be safe in the knowledge that Leonardo would be well cared for. That he would be loved and nurtured by the right woman. The one woman Urs Buhler did love. Oh what a hole he could get himself into if he wasn’t careful.
The next twenty minutes Urs sat, holding Leonardo and talked to Esther. About her. He wanted to know everything.
‘Well, I’m called Esther Lopez. I’m half Spanish. Half English. I’ve lived in England ever since I was 10. I’m now 28. Nearly 29. I’ve loved children ever since I can remember. I know its everything I have ever dreamed of.’
‘What about having your own children?’ Urs probed.
‘No. I won’t have any of my own.’
‘Why not…?’
‘Look, I’m here to do a job. That’s all. Its my credentials you should be interested in. Not my life story.’ Esther wisely pointed out.
‘You’re right. Sorry.’ he apologised.
‘Anyhow…shouldn’t you be getting back to Miss…to your…partner?’
‘Suppose.’ Urs shrugged, standing up. He carefully handed over Leonardo, ‘see you later little man.’ he kissed the top of his sons head, ‘take care of him.’ he smiled at Esther.
‘I will do. Don’t you worry. Its my job.’ she smiled back.
Urs regrettably walked away then. Realising he had forgotten to ask one, OK, two important questions. One - was she single? And two - hadn’t she recognised him from the concert all those months ago? OK, he probably shouldn’t want to know the single part. After all he was technically attached. Even though he so didn’t want to be. He wanted to be single. Available to date. Available to ask Esther out on a date. OK, had this have never happened he would have never seen her again. But still.

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:50 pm

5.
Esther waited until Urs had gone, then she carefully placed little Leo, she refused to call him Leonardo, down in his cot then sat down. Oh my god. This was turning out to be her worst job to date. Her worst nightmare come true. Her ideal man was here. Being her boss. A father to another woman’s child. Oh. My. God. Urs Toni Buhler. How could this have happened? Why had this happened? What had she done to deserve this? She would have to resign. There really wasn’t any other solution. She couldn’t possibly stick around now. Looking after a baby, OK a very cute baby of the man she most wanted to be together with. She could no longer do this. It would be her shortest job in history. Probably the worlds shorted job in history. But never mind. She couldn’t stay. She had to, just had to go. She was just about to pluck up the courage to go and see Tamara, and resign when her mobile phone vibrated in her trouser pocket. She fished it out. It was her best friend, Karen calling her. The one who was a fashion designer.
‘Hi Kaz.’ she whispered into the phone.
‘Hi Est. How’s it all going?’
‘Err…’
‘Est, what is it?’ Karen enquired.
‘I’m resigning…from my job.’
‘What? No! Why?’ then a pause, ‘is it the mother?’ she asked.
‘No. Not the mother.’ Esther sighed.
‘What then…?’
‘It’s the father…’ she found herself admitting.
‘What’s wrong with the father? Is he ugly? Did he come onto you?’
‘No. No. God no.’ Esther laughed at that. Did he come onto her? She could have only hoped he had. No chance of that ever happening. Shame really. That would have been nice. To be kissed and touched by Urs. Her dream come true. Making love with and to Urs.
‘What then…?’
‘Its…its…’
‘What Est? what?’ Karen asked.
‘Its…its…’ Esther tried again.
‘Esther. You’re worrying me now.’
‘He’s…famous.’ she managed to finally get out.
‘Famous? Wow! Who?’
‘I can’t tell…’
‘Oh Est!’ Karen sulked down the phone.
‘I can’t. Its…my contract.’ Esther found herself lying. Well, not completely lying. There were certain things in her contract which prevented her from doing and saying some stuff. Revealing the name of the child she was looking after might be one of them. It had been a 10 page contract. Esther hadn’t actually gotten around to reading every single word before she had signed it. That surprised and happy to have what she once thought her dream job. Being a nanny.
‘Oh…’ Karen sulked again.
‘Sorry.’
‘And that’s why you want to resign?’ Karen asked.
‘I…I’m…attracted to him…’
‘Yeah, and?’
‘I’m attracted to him.’ Esther repeated.
‘I don’t see a problem…’
‘Attracted. To my boss.’
‘I still don’t see a problem. You already said the mother is awful.’
‘I know…’
‘Then I don’t see a problem.’
‘But…’
‘What is she like, to the hunk?’
‘The who…?’ Esther mumbled.
‘The hunk. The father.’
‘Why would you think he’s…hunky?’
‘Honey, if you’re attracted to him, he’s bound to be hunky.’ Karen now attempted to swoon down the phone.
‘She…the mother…she’s….OK.’ Esther lied, ‘from what I’ve seen.’
‘Oh honey. Bummer.’
‘So I’m resigning..’ Esther announced again.
‘No. You can’t.’ Karen told her.
‘Why can’t I…?’
‘You are probably the best thing that could ever happen to that little…’
‘Boy. He’s called Leonardo.’
‘You’re the best thing that could ever happen to Leonardo.’ Karen repeated more firmer now.
‘I don’t know…’
‘At least give it a month.’
‘A month? No, I couldn’t.’
‘A week then. Give it a week.’
‘Well…I suppose I could…’ Esther found herself saying.
‘Good. Good. That’s settled then.’ Karen smiled down the phone, ‘But, just one thing before I go…’
‘Go on?’ Esther sighed.
‘At least tell me her name. the mother eh? Please!’
‘OK. She’s called…Thelma.’ Esther lied. She couldn’t tell the truth. Karen, like Esther knew who exactly her employer was. Or would have done once the name of who she was working for had been revealed. Urs Buhler of IL DIVO. And so telling Karen the real name of the mother would give it away who the famous man was. For everyone knew the name of Tamara Roberts. And who she was dating. They had all seen the photos of her. Falling all over Urs, acting like she owned him. Which in a way, suppose she did. They just didn’t know she had even been pregnant yet alone given birth to Urs Buhler’s child. They had certainly kept that part hidden. Strange that. Considering how much Tamara loved telling people all about her relationship with Urs. Her fantastic relationship she had been quoted calling it. It wouldn’t have gone down well. Not with Karen or any of the other fans of IL DIVO. Crikey. Only 6 months ago Esther and Karen had been in the 2nd row at an IL DIVO concert. At that concert, Esther could have sworn Urs had at least looked at her. But of course she couldn’t have been sure. And anyway, that didn’t mean anything. At all. Urs must see hundreds of women daily. He would hardly remember seeing Esther. Oh well. So much for her dream coming true. And now he was her boss. Oh well. Wasn’t life just a bitch sometimes? A complete, horrible bitch. Oh well. But Esther would cope. She would act professional. She would do her job and then when the time was right, would move on with no regrets. No tears. She would be sensible. Sensible. Professional. She would remember that. Keep reminding herself what she was here to do. To look after the rather adorable Leonardo Buhler. Urs Buhler’s beautiful and very cute son. She would ignore her heart. Ignore her desires. Try not to gaze or drool at her boss too much. The very sexy Urs Buhler. Oh well.

Urs got a right shouting at from Tamara when he finally went back to her room.
‘You lied you bastard. You said you would only be a few minutes. You were 20 minutes. 20.’ she spat at him. If she could have she would have surely slapped him for leaving her, stuck in this boring hospital room for too long without anything to do. Nothing decent on the television to watch and no magazine to read. Bastard him leaving her all that time.
‘I know I was…’
‘20 minutes. Doing what exactly?’ she demanded.
‘Bonding…with my son.’
‘Yeah, right.’ she sorted unattractively.
‘I was.’ Urs defended.
‘For 20 minutes?’
‘I read…’
‘Where?’ she rudely interrupted.
‘…In one of those baby books you bought, that its good to bond with your newborn baby.’ bought, but never read by her. Tamara referred fashion magazines. Gossip magazines. She had only bought all the baby books there were to have because it was the ‘’in thing’’ at the time. And Tamara liked to be in the know at all times. No matter what the cost was. After all, it wasn’t her having to fork out for all this stuff. It was Ursy.
‘Yeah, right.’
‘Maybe, you should try it.’ Urs said.
‘Right. Like I care about bonding.’
‘You should Tamara. Considering you’re the one who wanted Leo.’
‘I said to call him Leonardo!’
‘Yeah, after your flaming favourite actor.’ Urs snapped.
‘There is nothing wrong with the name Leonardo.’ Tamara snapped back.
‘I thought you said I could name him..’ Urs complained. He had wanted to call him Lucas. Or Felix. Yes. Lucas. That would suit. But no. He was stuck with Leonardo.
‘Yeah. Well. I lied. Anyway,’ she added as an after thought ‘His middle name is Lucas.’
‘Like that makes any difference.’ Urs muttered under his breath when out loud he said to her, ‘Not surprising. Considering you have now lied about nearly every aspect of our relationship.’ about her constant, and I mean constant lying to him.
‘I like to keep things…fresh.’ Tamara smirked.
‘Fresh? Ha!’ Urs snorted.
‘Don’t sort Ursy. Its unattractive.’ she had the nerve to tell him.
‘And I told you before, don’t call me Ursy!’ Urs snapped, raising his hand.
‘You hit me and you’ll never see your son again.’ she threatened.
‘Take my son away from me and you’ll be left looking after him. By yourself.’ Urs warned.
‘You wouldn’t…’
‘Try it, and see.’ he challenged.
‘I hate you.’ she spat.
‘Then leave me.’
‘I should.’
‘I’m not stopping you.’ he challenged again.
‘You’d miss me.’ she tried.
‘Leave, and let me find that out.’
‘Oh no. No. You’re not getting ride of me quite THAT easily.’ Tamara tried purring.
Urs inwardly groaned. So much for getting rid of her.
‘You’re stuck with me now Ursy. Forever.’ she crooned.
Urs tried glaring. Tamara just smiled sweetly back. Well, not sweetly for she could never be called sweet. But, oh she might want to look sweet, like an angel what with her dyed blonde hair but she failed. Miserably. To actually be sweet. Inside she was cold and nasty. Unforgiving. Hurtful.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:52 pm

6.
Esther ‘’’accidentally’’ overheard Tamara and Urs’ argument. She couldn’t help it. She was just right next door in the other room. Minding her own business. Doing her job. Preparing bottles for when Leo wanted feeding again. Although she had always thought that breast was best. Tamara had told her in the interview that she wouldn’t be breast feeding. That she wanted her body back now she had given birth. And breast feeding would just make her body look awful. She really didn’t care about her child having what was best for him. Anyway, it wasn’t hard to hear their raised voices. It was just lucky that little Leo hadn’t woken up on hearing his parents argue. It was the last thing the poor little mite needed. It was bad enough that his mother didn’t really want him. But to her hear arguing with his father. Well. That really was just too much. Tamara really did seem to be a right cow. Or was certainly seemed to be one on first proper contact. Getting her to bond with her child was going to be harder than Esther thought. So much for making her take a good look at her child. It would now take a miracle to get Tamara anywhere near her child. Let alone get her to hold him again.

The house where Urs and Tamara lived was like a palace. A mansion. Such a grand place. Electric gates opened up onto a grand gravel driveway. The whole place looked like it had cost a lot of money. At least a few million. These people obviously had money to burn. Esther sat in the back of the car, what sort she didn’t know, she didn’t drive herself and so wouldn’t know the difference from one car to another, but she knew it was new and expensive, next to Leo asleep, in his car seat. Urs drove with great care. Scared to go too fast and avoiding all speed bumps he found. Tamara sat next to him muttering and moaning constantly. She had wanted Esther and Leo to travel in another car or arrive later but Urs had insisted he drive his son home.
‘Its not right.’ she had complained as Urs had strapped in his sons car seat into the vehicle.
‘Why isn’t it?’ he had demanded.
‘She.’ Tamara had pointed a finger at Esther, ‘is our servant.’ she had spat.
‘Esther, isn’t a servant. She’s Leo…nardo’s nanny.’ Urs had corrected.
‘Same thing.’
‘Our son is allowed to come home today so that is what I’m doing. Taking him home.’ Urs had informed his rather unhappy partner.
Tamara huffed. She didn’t like this at all. Having to travel in the same car as…as him. Leonardo. And added to insult her too. The nanny. OK she was an excellent nanny. Hadn’t complained or demanded Tamara do anything with the child. But still. This was all going wrong she felt. She no longer thought having a child with Urs was a good idea. What had come over her those 9 months before? And to add even more insult he had refused to have sex with her since. Leonardo was now 2 weeks old. And no sex had come. Oh, Tamara had tried. She had tried every trick in the book - sexy underwear. Even had tried doing oral sex. Now, she hated, hated giving oral sex. But even that hadn’t worked. He had refused it. Refused. Sex! It wasn’t right. It just wasn’t right. Was Urs going of her? So she was looking forward to getting home. They had their own personal gym at the house. It was a necessary must have. Urs worked out regularly as did Tamara. Or she did. Until the doctors had forced her to give it up because of the pregnancy.
Now they were home. Esther was amazed. It looked perfect inside. Like a museum. But it needed a good going over. She could see sharp points, dangerous points everywhere she looked. The fire would need a guard. As did the rather grand looking staircase. The white sofa would need a covering just in case Leo accidentally stained it. The bike parts Esther could see also needed clearing away. It looked like Tamara and Urs were so unprepared for their child.
‘He needs to go in the nursery.’ Tamara waved a manicured hand at Leo who was sleeping in Esther’s arms. Urs had wanted to take his son into the house and was going to until Tamara had complained about her caesarean scars hurting her and so had demanded he do the gentlemanly thing and help her instead. He had suppressed a groan, rolled his eyes and had helped her. Leaving Esther with Leo.
‘Where is the nursery?’ Esther asked.
‘Top of the house. That way.’ Tamara pointed to the stairs.
Thanks. Great help. NOT. Thought Esther.
‘Come on little one, lets go and see.’ she whispered to Leo. He opened his big brown eyes, blinked and pulled his face into what looked like a smile but was probably only wind.

Esther carried Leo up two flights of stairs until they reached the nursery.
Wow. It looked amazing. Decorated in rainbow colours. Every possible toy adorned the shelving. Esther noticed wardrobes and wardrobes stuffed full of baby clothing. Girls and boys clothing. She carefully laid Leo down in the overdressed cot, and had a good look around.
‘I’m to tell you that your room is next door.’ Urs appeared in the doorway, her suitcase in his hand.
‘Err…thanks.’ she found herself blushing. She could feel something electric. Was it her imagination playing tricks on her or was something really going to happen?
‘I know. Its over the top, isn’t it?’ he gestured around the nursery.
‘Err…’
‘Its OK. Tamara made me get a decorator in to do it. Not someone who knew about children obviously…’
‘The cot, is a little too…stuffed.’ too much lace adorned it. Frilly.
‘I think, Tamara was hoping for a girl.’
‘Didn’t you find out in the scan?’ Esther asked.
‘I didn’t want to know.’ he told her, then he carried on speaking, telling her something he shouldn’t have said but wanted to, needed to say to someone and he thought, no, he knew Esther would understand it, ‘I never thought I could love someone, until I saw little Leo’s first ever scan…’ Urs smiled at the memory.
‘So you don’t love…’ she mumbled.
‘No. I don’t.’ he agreed.
‘Sorry. I shouldn’t have…said anything.’ she apologised.
‘No, its OK.’ he smiled.
‘I mean…it isn’t my place to…’
‘Esther, its OK. Relax.’
‘Right. OK. Sorry.’
‘Don’t apologise.’ Urs told her.
‘I…I…sorry.’
‘Esther.’
‘I…I….OK.’
‘Relax, its OK. You are allowed to have an opinion.’
‘No I’m not.’ she shook her head.
‘Eh…?’ he asked.
‘Tamara…I mean Miss Roberts, in my contract, she put that..’
‘Eh? In your contract? What contract?’
‘The one I needed to sign, before I took the job.’
‘Tamara made you sign..’ Urs muttered.
‘I thought everyone did these..’ Esther mumbled, ‘have I said something wrong?’ she then asked.
‘No Esther. No.’ he shook his head.
‘Oh…OK, only I…’
‘Esther?’ Urs asked, looking at her.
‘Yes Mr Buhler?’
‘Urs.’ he corrected.
‘Yes…Urs?’
‘Shut up.’ he then walked towards her, cupped her face and kissed her.
Esther felt herself melting under his mouth. She groaned and kissed him back. It was oh so very wrong. But felt oh so very right. She knew from the moment he had appeared in the nursery that something like this was going to happen. And although it shouldn’t have, Esther didn’t want to stop it. She was determined to enjoy every single minute of it. They kissed and kissed. Esther could feel every part of Urs. He wanted her. And she wanted him too. It seemed to go on for ages but in reality probably wasn’t. They only really stopped when Leo started crying. That bought Esther to her senses. She pushed Urs away and went to attend to him. To do her job. The reason she was here in the first place.

Esther attended to Leo. Changing his nappy. Urs watched with great interest. He noticed that she did genuinely like his son. The way she was with him. Her caring, gentle manner. The way she talked to him whatever she was doing. When he was settled again in his frilly cot, Urs finally spoke.
‘I’m sorry..’ he cleared his throat, ‘about the…’
‘That’s OK. All forgotten.’ Esther busied herself with tidying up.
‘I don’t regret it…’
‘Urs.’ Esther tried interrupting.
‘…..But I promise,’ he sighed, ‘I won’t…do it again.’
‘Right. OK. Thank you.’ she nodded.
‘I’d better…’ he then mumbled before leaving the room.

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:52 pm

7.
The next morning Urs left the house early, telling Tamara, ‘I’ve a meeting with the guys.’ it wasn’t a completely lie. He had got a meeting. Only one he personally had arranged. He needed to get a few things of his chest and knew Carlos, David and Seb to a certain aspect, were usually the best people, men, to talk to. He was confused. And kissing Esther hadn’t really helped. At all.
‘So, what’s up then?’ Carlos came straight to the point after they had all sat down in a local, private, café near to where Urs and Tamara lived.
‘I’ve…seen her, again.’ Urs sighed, fiddling with a teaspoon.
‘Eh?’ Seb asked, staring at him. Seen who? He wondered.
‘Her? You mean your dream woman…?’ David gasped.
‘That’s the one.’ Urs nodded.
‘Oh wow!’ David exclaimed, beaming a big smile.
‘What are you going to do?’ Carlos asked.
‘Nothing.’ Urs sighed.
‘Eh…? But I don’t understand. You just said..’ David mumbled.
‘He’s a father. He has responsibilities. To his son.’ Carlos explained.
‘Plus, there are….complications.’ Urs then told them.
‘Oh? Complications how?’ Seb asked.
‘I’m now her boss.’
‘Eh? What?’ Seb laughed at this.
‘Tamara, employed a nanny.’ Urs explained.
‘Yeah, and?’ Seb asked, still confused at what this had to do with Urs’ perfect, dream woman.
‘Named Esther. Esther…is my dream woman.’
Now he, Seb, understood.
‘Oh no. Oh mate..’ Carlos sympathised.
‘Bummer.’ David agreed in his own way.
‘Convenient!’ Seb laughed.
‘Eh…?’ Urs blinked at him.
‘You, are in prime position.’ Seb nudged him.
‘I am not taking advantage.’ Urs replied.
‘Why not? I would!’ Seb laughed.
‘Yeah, and don’t we know it.’ Carlos muttered under his breath.
‘Although..’ Urs then said, ‘I have already…’
‘Yeah?’ David asked, waiting for the rest of the sentence.
‘….Kissed Esther.’ Urs finished finally.
‘Whey-hey!’ Seb laughed, nudging Urs again.
‘Which, I now know I shouldn’t have done.’ Urs sighed a long, depressed sigh and shook his head.
‘Hey, after sleeping with Tamara, who can blame you!’ Seb laughed.
Urs glared at him, ‘That, is the mother of my child you are talking about.’ he didn’t want to, but felt the need to protect Tamara, if only because she was the mother of his child. A child he had never wanted and hadn’t expected to love. But he did. Love his son. His perfect child. Leonardo Lucas Buhler. Even if he didn’t like his first name.
‘Who, you don’t love.’ Seb pointed out.
‘That’s, besides the point.’ Urs snapped.
‘OK, I’m sorry.’ Seb held his hands up in apology.
‘Apology…accepted.’ Urs sadly sighed.
‘So, now you’re stuck.’ David then said.
‘Yep.’ Urs agreed.
‘But at least you can have some contact…with your dream love.’
‘Esther.’
‘Nice name. Esther.’ David smiled.
‘Got a picture of her?’ Seb winked.
‘No.’ Urs shook his head, ‘but, Tamara is planning a dinner party. To meet Leo. Sorry, Leonardo,’ he made himself correct the name, ‘and you are all invited.’
‘Whey-hey! I’m looking forward to meeting Esther then!’ Seb winked again.
‘She will be working, won’t she?’ David asked. He was also quite interested in meeting this woman. This woman Urs had fallen deeply and desperately in love with on first sight. He imagined her to be amazing. Urs didn’t go for plain looking. Normally. Then again suppose to certain tastes Tamara wasn‘t plan looking either. Just that David had never liked her and so had thought she was rather plain looking. The bimbo type of woman. Dyed blonde hair. Boring brown eyes. Considering what Valeria, Urs‘ last love had looked like. Now, she had been a complete babe.
‘Tamara has got Esther completely looking after Leo 24/7. Tamara has had nothing to do with our son, since he was born.’ Urs informed them all.
‘Eh? Not even to bond?’ Carlos asked.
‘Nope.’ Urs shook his head.
‘What about…feeding?’ Carlos then asked.
‘Leo, is bottle fed.’
‘Thought, breast was best.’ Seb winked suggestively. He was definitely a breast man. He loved breasts. Could talk and look at them all day. Breasts. Just thinking about them made him hard and horny.
‘Not where Tamara is concerned.’
‘But poor Leo is missing out on his mothers love.’ David then said.
‘Believe me, although I shouldn’t say this, Leo is the lucky one. Tamara’s love is nothing to write home about.’ Urs sadly told them.
‘So, no sex since Leo then eh?’ Carlos asked.
‘I don’t want sex…at least not with Tamara.’
‘Oh…’
‘We haven’t…since she was seven months pregnant, I just don’t want…don’t desire her anymore.’ Urs confessed.
‘Oh. I see.’ Carlos repeated, nodding.
‘I think…something is wrong with me.’
‘Mate. No. No.’ David shook his head, ‘don’t think like that.’
‘But I don’t want Tamara…’
‘You don’t love her anymore. That’s all.’ Carlos offered.
‘Truth be told, I’ve never…Tamara.’
‘What? Never?’ Carlos asked.
‘No. Lusted? Yes. Loved? No. Never.’
‘Is it Leo, is he the problem?’ some men did go off their partner when they became pregnant. No longer being able to see them for the woman that they were they now saw mothers. Their own mother sometimes in their partner. It wasn’t a good thing to have happen to anyone.
‘No. Not Leo. Never Leo. It happened long before Leo came along.’ Urs confessed.
‘How long before…?’ David carefully asked.
‘Before she, Tamara, found out she was…we were having Leo.’ Urs sighed.
‘Oh mate. You really are stuck then, aren’t you?’ Carlos realised.
‘Yep. I sure am.’ Urs agreed.
‘What, are you going to do?’ Seb asked.
‘Nothing. There is nothing I can do. I’m stuck.’
‘Well, and truly.’ David nodded in agreement.
Urs sighed a long sad sigh. Whereas David, Carlos and Seb all shook their heads. Thinking - lucky us.
Carlos was the only one who had someone but at least he loved her and she loved him. At least he was with her for the right reasons. Getting married for the right reasons. Love and only love.

Tamara planned the dinner party down to the last detail. She even got in a decorator to completely repaint the dinning area so it didn’t clash with the outfit she had picked out. Ever since Leonardo had been born Tamara had spent hours in the gym with a trainer. Trying to get her figure back to better than before she had had the baby. She worked out, doing various exercises almost 24 hours a day. She had no time to do anything else. Not that she wanted to do anything else. Apart from taking care of her hair and nails. Even to work out Tamara liked to look her best. After all, she never knew when Urs might want her again. Every morning she tried to come onto him in bed. Every morning he turned her down. Even the morning she had woken him up while performing oral sex on him. She was that desperate. As soon as he had opened his eyes and found it was her he had pulled out of her mouth, had muttered, ‘Not now Tamara.’ and had stalked into the bathroom.
‘When then?’ she had called after him, ‘you never want me. Ever.’
‘I can’t trust you.’ he had snapped back.
‘I’ve had my operation. I can’t have anymore babies.’ she had cried.
‘Don’t lie Tamara. I talked to the doctor. The only thing you’ve had done recently is your caesarean. Nothing else.’
He’d caught her out there. ‘I…I’m going to have it done. Soon.’ she had cried.
‘Come to me with proof, then we’ll talk.’ he had snapped back before slamming the door and bolting it. Moments later she could hear the shower going. But Tamara knew the truth. He was in there, wanking. Seeing to himself while picturing ‘’HER’’ in his head. She had yet to find out who ‘’SHE’’ was. Then when Tamara did she would put her right. Scratching her eyes. Tamara only hoped she was ugly. The one Urs wanted over her.
‘Aaaahhh!’ she screamed then screamed even louder on hearing Leonardo cry. God. That child did like to cry. All day. All night. She was getting sick of it. And to add insult - Urs had recently registered Leonardo. In his own name! Leonardo was now Leonardo Lucas Buhler. Such an insult. Not even Tamara could make herself a Buhler and she deserved to be one more. Yes. Believe it, or not, Tamara was jealous of her own flesh and blood. Her own child. Not that she could see it. Or indeed would admit to such a thing. Jealous? Of her own child? Ha. She would have laughed in your face. Not me. Never me. Try someone else.

Even though the dinner party was to be an informal one, Tamara still sent out invitations. That expected a reply. None of IL DIVO dare turn her down. Not because they were scared of her. Because they weren’t. But more for the fact they all felt sorry for Urs - being stuck with her. Plus, they were interested in seeing not only baby Leonardo but Esther too. The lovely nanny Urs was secretly in love with. So they all accepted and sent back the R.S.V.P as soon as they had received it. It had arrived, had delivered, on a pillow held by a butler. Or rather a guy dressed up to look like a butler who had arrived in a limo. Talk about washing money down the drain! The invitations were guilt lined. The butler had to wait until whoever it was for had made a decision whether to attend, or not.
‘Poor Urs. Stuck with a money grabbing bitch.’ David had muttered to himself on receiving the invitation. As usual ,the invitation excluded any partner. God forbid the partner outshined the hostess. Tamara the bitch Roberts. She liked to be the centre of attention. Luckily for her that only Carlos had a partner. A fiancée. gorgeous lady named Joy. And a joy she was. Beautiful Joy had been around longer than Tamara. She half guessed that Tamara had something, a main something to do with Urs and Valeria splitting up. But try as she might, Joy had never found enough evidence to confront her over it. But that didn’t mean she would give up.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Tue Aug 11, 2009 11:56 pm

8.
Now it was the day of the grand unveiling. Also known as Carlos, David and Seb meeting Leonardo for the first time. Tamara woke with a nasty headache. Leonardo had been crying almost all night and although she hadn’t attended to him, why would she want to? After all she was just his mother, Esther had as usual, the noise of him screaming still filled the house. Several times, during the night, Tamara had had to stop Urs from going to see his son, telling him, ‘Esther can cope. This is, after all, her job.’ Plus, she hated the amount of time he insisted on spending with his son as it was. Every morning after breakfast he would disappear to the nursery to spend an hour, just gazing at Leo. Tamara knew this because she had followed him a few times. To keep a check on him. Then, in the afternoon he would do the same thing. Although then he would insist on feeding and occasionally changing him. Tamara couldn’t understand why he liked Leonardo so much considering how much he had hated the very idea of having children. It made no sense. At least to Tamara it didn’t.
This morning Tamara, complete with a thumping headache and wearing dark glasses left early, well, around ten, to go and have a nice relaxing spar. Then she needed her hair and nails done. Her dark roots were starting to show through. Tamara couldn’t remember the last time she had been a brunette. Probably when she was a child. As soon as she had become a teenager she had started dying. She was under the impression that blondes had more fun. They didn’t. Keeping herself a blonde took work. A lot of hard work. Dying her hair regularly. Waxing her pubic hair along with her legs. Keeping her eyebrows short and unnoticeable. Everything needed to keep her secret. Although, Urs had found her out when she had become pregnant. Apparently you couldn’t bleach your hair in the first few months while being pregnant. Just in case it harmed the baby. Stuff that the mother had an impression to keep up with. It was such an inconvenience. But now she could regain her pride. Urs hadn’t had fit when he’d found out her natural hair colour. Far from it. In fact he had seemed…strangely pleased. Had begged her to stay a brunette.
‘No.’ she had screamed, ‘I hate being brown. I like being a blonde. I am meant to be a blonde!’
Urs hadn’t mentioned her hair changing colour again. Thank god.
The women at the hair salon went all strange when Tamara walked in to have her hair appointment.
‘Where is he then?’ they all asked.
‘Where, is who…?’ she enquired.
‘The baby.’ nearly everyone swooned.
‘Oh. Him. At home.’
‘Oh…we were looking forward to seeing him…’
‘He’s just a baby. Small. Wrinkly. Cries a lot. You’re not missing anything.’ Tamara told them.
‘Is he sleeping thought the night yet?’ her hairdresser asked.
‘God. No.’ she laughed.
‘But you’re looking OK, considering all those sleepless nights…’
‘I’m not suffering from them. The nanny is.’
‘You have a nanny?’
‘Of course. I mean, who wouldn’t?’ strangely no one asked any more questions after that remark. But Tamara could swear they were all giving her disappointing looks. I mean, how dare they! Tamara thought. Like they were perfect. What was wrong with having a nanny? All the celebrities had them. It was essential. Even though, technically, Tamara wasn’t a celebrity. Her partner was and that was what counted in the end. One day Tamara herself would be famous when she and Urs finally married. Whenever that would be.
After her hectic day out, Tamara went back to the house to see how the caterers were getting on. Tamara didn’t do cooking herself. God no. Luckily Urs could cook most things. Everything else they had take out. Ate at restaurants a lot. Or rather they had. Until Tamara had announced she was pregnant. Then Urs had insisted on doing all the cooking. He wanted her to have, ‘A well balanced diet, to help the baby grow and develop.’ he had told her. So they had stopped having take a ways. Tamara suddenly wasn’t allowed her favourite fish paste or cream cheese. Because apparently ‘it was bad for the baby.’
Stuff her wanting them. Oh no. Not allowed. So - no hair dying. No spar dates. No gym and certainly no favourite foods. But now Tamara was no longer pregnant and she was making up for lost time.
The food was cooking. The kitchen busy when Tamara arrived. Urs was missing. Probably in the nursery. He spent all his free time there. Thank god Esther the nanny was so unappealing Tamara laughed to herself. She was an excellent nanny. Good at her job and ugly. Just what Tamara had wished for. Perfect.
‘Urs…!’ she shouted up the stairs, ‘where are you?’
‘In the nursery.’ he shouted down the stairs.
‘I need you here. We have a dinner party tonight!’ she stupidly reminded him.
‘I do know. I’m not completely blind.’ Urs muttered, coming down the stairs, holding in his arms, Leonardo.
‘What, are you doing with that child?’ she demanded.
‘Bonding with him.’
‘Well, give him back to the nanny. We have things to do!’
‘Nothing is as important then Leo…nardo.’ Urs smiled at his son.
‘Yes it is. This dinner for once.’ Tamara snapped.
‘OK. OK.’ Urs relented, sighing. He didn’t fancy another argument. Not at the moment. Certainly not in front of Leo. He didn’t deserve to hear his parents arguing. No child deserved to hear their parents arguing. ‘What do I need to do?’ he found himself asking.
‘You need to get ready.’ she told him.
‘That won’t take me very long..’ Urs stared to say.
‘Oh no. No. You need a shave. Shower.’ Tamara tutted. Not forgetting a hair cut and to get rid of those stupid sideburns she thought. She hated Urs having long hair. Hated it. Had tried, several times to get him to get it cut but he just refused. Refused and then it turned into an argument. Tamara waned him to have decent, short hair and no sideburns. Sideburns were a 60’s thing and made Urs look old. But he wouldn’t listen to her. His own partner.
‘That won’t take…’
‘I want you clean Urs. Extra clean. We’ve an impression to make.’
‘Its only the guys…’
‘Exactly. And they talk. Chop, chop. Get moving.’ she then started shooing him in the direction of the stairs, ‘and give Leonardo back to the nanny. That is why she is here for.’
‘OK. OK, I’m going.’ Urs sighed.
Urs reluctantly took Leo back to the nursery. Back to Esther.
So much for letting her have a little time to sleep. To rest. Looking after a crying baby did take it out on you. Even a professional nanny. And Esther needed some time to herself. But not today. Tamara wouldn’t let it be today. Not that she knew. She would just moan and complain. Saying that it was what a nanny was for. To look after a baby 24/7.

Urs walked back to the nursery. He laid Leo down in his cot then looked to see where Esther was. He expected to find her asleep. But she wasn’t. She was in the shower. Urs walked into the bathroom without thinking. He stopped and stared. Esther was a sight to see. She looked perfect. Long legs. A decent sized waist. Lovely hair. And her breasts, Urs ached to reach out to cup them, rub her nipples to erection then plunge himself into her wetness. She was perfect. And all natural. Urs liked that. Tamara wasn’t natural. Parts of her were fake. Plastic almost. Including fake hair colour. At least Esther was a natural brunette. Without making a noise he quietly and carefully backed out of the bathroom. As if in a daze he walked back to the nursery. To wait, at least until she was decent again.
Once in the nursery he flopped down onto the nursing chair, closed his eyes and let out a groan. Trying to rid his body of the hard erection he had in his trousers for her. He so wanted her. Esther. He desired her. He more than desired her. He ached for her. His whole being ached for Esther. And there was not a damn thing he could do about it. He was stuck with Tamara. Doing his duty. Esther was in his employment. If he made a move he could scare her away. Make her give up her job. Make her run away so far that he would never find her again. And he didn’t want that. Never wanted that. So yes he was stuck. Well and completely stuck. Lusting after someone he could never, should never have. And it was driving him mad well and truly, slowly but surely mad.
Although, he was completely forgetting one little fact. He was once, before they had started dating and Tamara had given up her job, he had been, as well as the rest of IL DIVO, Tamara’s employers. For she had been their hair and make up lady. Until she had got her claws into Urs’ wallet and Urs himself.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:25 am

9.

Now it was time. Showtime. Everything was sorted. Tamara looked perfect. Or so she thought. She was dressed in green. A colour she was convinced suited her but so didn’t. With her blonde, not natural hair, it made her look pale. Washed out. Her dress was a designer one. She hoped the lasted design. By a new designer, ‘Karenza fashions.’ The dress had cost 2 thousand pounds. But Tamara didn’t care. It wasn’t her money she was spending on it. It was Urs’.
Tamara had hired a butler for the evening. He had to answer the door to her guests then wait on them hand and foot. Tamara had made Esther turn into a maid for the night. She had even provided a costume for her to wear. Black skirt. White shirt. Hair tied back. No make up as usual.
The guests, also known as Carlos, Seb and David arrived on time.
They dare not be late. Tamara hated people being late. Although she was always, always late herself for various appointments and things.
‘Everyone! So lovely to see you all!’ she exclaimed, giving the guys air kisses like she was someone important. She had wanted her and Urs to greet the guys together. Presenting an united front. Even thought they all knew that that was the last thing she and Urs were. United. Ha. They all knew Urs so wished to be somewhere else. Anywhere but where he was. Stuck with the wrong woman. So that could explain why when she answered the door, she answered the door alone. No Urs by her side. That, really irritated Tamara. She liked making an impression. Pretending to be someone she wasn’t.
‘And you…Not.’ Seb muttered under his breath.
‘You’ve not bought your partners…’ Tamara smiled.
‘Joy, couldn’t make it.’ Carlos lied. Plus, she hadn’t even been invited. God help Tamara wasn’t the starlight. She loved having the spotlight on her at every possible moment.
‘So, where is the nanny then?’ Seb asked, winking.
‘Who?’ Tamara blinked.
‘The nanny?’ Seb repeated.
‘He means…Leonardo.’ David smiled.
‘Oh. Him. ESTHER!’ Tamara shouted and a few moments later she appeared.
‘Yes Miss…I mean Madame?’ Esther asked.
‘Bring Leonardo down.’ she was told. She curtsied and nodded then went to get him.
Seb, Carlos and David shared looks.
‘She’s…’ Seb slightly swooned.
‘URS!’ Tamara then shouted.
‘Hi everyone.’ Urs arrived, smiling, popping his head out of the kitchen.
Then Esther was back. Carrying Leonardo. He was dressed in a ridiculous outfit. Looking like something out of an expensive catalogue. He looked like a doll actually. Dressed in frills. Esther had felt ashamed, dressing Leo in it earlier that evening. But he was to wear it. Tamara had demanded he wear it or else.
‘Hand him over.’ Tamara demanded.
Esther did what she was told. ‘You can leave now.’ she was then snapped at by Tamara, ‘but don’t go far.’ she was warned, holding her son at arms length.
As soon as Tamara had Leonardo in his arms, he started crying. Screaming. In distress. He didn’t know who this woman holding him was.
‘Esther!’ she was soon called back, having barely had the chance to go anywhere, ‘he won’t stop crying.’ Tamara thrust him back into her arms. Almost immediately Leonardo stopped crying on seeing a familiar, friendly face, ‘Think there is something wrong with him.’ she laughed.
‘Sweet…child. I mean, baby.’ Carlos smiled at a now quiet Leonardo.
‘Isn’t he just? Now he’s stopped…’ Tamara smiled back.
‘Shall I…take him to the nursery?’ Esther then asked.
‘Yes. Yes.’ Tamara waved a manicured hand around, showing long, sharp blood red nails.
‘Well, that’s the nanny then.’ Seb winked in Esther’s direction once she, and a now contented Leonardo had gone. In truth, they were only in the kitchen, Esther was heating up a bottle for Leo.
‘Seb, I know you’re desperate, but fancying the nanny! That is low, even for you!’ Tamara cruelly laughed at him.
‘Eh, but she’s….’ Seb started to say. Then he noticed Urs. He was shaking his hand and mouthing, ‘No.’ Seb, seeing this, shut up mid sentence.
‘Ugly, and probably desperate too! I know!’ Tamara smirked.
‘Well… just thought I’d…give it a go.’ Seb shrugged.
Esther heard all this conversation. And OK, she didn’t fancy Seb but she still felt a little…upset at this comment from him. Especially as he didn’t even know her. Was he deliberately being cruel? Or just trying to save her, her job? Then, while coming out of the kitchen and going towards the stairs she noticed Urs’ face and knew it was because he was trying to save her job. She breathed a sigh of relief. OK, Esther herself didn’t think she was a great beauty, or even moderately good looking but, but she had never been called ugly before. At least not to her face before. Well, there was always a first time she sadly supposed. She quickly took Leo away up the stairs and back to the nursery before he started making any noises again. Not realising that Urs had sneaked out the room after her. He followed her up the stairs. He waited until Leo was settled, then came to stand behind her. His front facing her back as she looked over the cot. He whispered in her ear, ‘Seb wasn’t being mean,’ he told her, ‘just…trying to help.’
‘Doesn’t mean I’m not ugly.’ Esther sighed, trying to move away.
‘No, don’t go.’ he stopped her, placing his hands on the cot, trapping her.
‘But I’ve…things to do.’ she tried.
‘Not at the moment you don’t.’
‘And you…have your dinner party.’ she then reminded him.
‘Which, I never wanted in the first place.’ he let out a sigh.
‘You’d better…or you’ll be missed..’ Esther tried again.
‘Not with Seb, Carlos and David to keep her company.’ Urs whispered into her ear, making her shiver. He so wanted to reach out. To reach in front of her, to cup her breasts. To lick her neck. To take down her hair. To…to kiss her again. But he knew he couldn’t. That he mustn’t.
‘URS! Where are you?’ came Tamara’s voice then. Urs groaned and moved out of touching distance, away from temptation.
‘I’d better…’ he mumbled.
‘Yes, you had.’ Esther turned to face him.
‘URS! I need YOU!’ Tamara shouted again.
Urs looked at Esther. Esther nodded back then he reluctantly went back downstairs.

Esther waited until he had gone. Then groaned out loud. She could have sworn he had been just about to touch her. To kiss her even. And after he had promised the last time. Esther groaned again. Every time she closed her eyes she kept picturing, remembering the kiss. Remembering how he had felt. How he had tasted. It was driving her mad. Wanting to do it again but knowing it could never happen again. Urs was with someone. They had a child together. A baby. He was unavailable. Plus she was sure he did love Tamara and that Tamara loved him too.
Just because they didn’t show that love, didn’t demonstrate it in front of her, the nanny, didn’t mean they didn’t do it when alone. After all they still slept together in the same bed. So was bound to still be having sex. Esther couldn’t imagine being with someone like Urs and not sleeping with him regularly. Not having sex with him regularly. She surely would. Given half the chance. Esther. Mousey Esther. She who was still a virgin. Who would never have a child. So if Urs did get with her he could forget about having anymore children should he want them. For Esther already knew she couldn’t have them. Painful periods every month confirmed that. Endometriosis stopped that dream. It would be a miracle, a complete miracle if Esther ever conceived. That is why she loved children. For she knew just how precious having one was. It was the one dream she kept having over and over again which she knew could never, would never come true. I mean, it could, if Esther wanted to put herself though a painful operation which might not even work. So no. No. She wasn’t going to do that. Had no need to do that. It wasn’t like she had met someone special she wanted to commit herself to. Because she hadn’t. She hadn’t. Urs wasn’t free. He was somebody else’s. Had a child. A duty. So no. No. She wouldn’t. She had no need to.

After she had settled Leonardo Esther regrettably went down stairs. She had a job to do. To wait on Tamara, Urs and their guests like she was some sort of servant, which in a way, she was. A servant. Doing a job for a wage. An excellent wage. Although Esther never had any time to be able to spent any of her money. Oh sure she was allowed out of the house, but only when Tamara let her.
Then she was only allowed for a short while. And always with Leonardo.
‘I don’t wish for…Leonardo to get sick.’ she told Esther.
‘He won’t, anyway, some germs are good for babies…’ Esther had tried telling her.
‘Oh no. No. I’m not having MY child getting sick.’ Tamara had snapped.
‘OK. Whatever you wish.’ Esther had, reluctantly relented. After all she had always been told though-out her training, that, ‘Mother knows best.’ which, even meant the mothers who didn’t even know their children. Like Tamara. I mean she had held Leo for barely a moment before he had started screaming. The poor little mite didn’t even know or recognise his own mother. It had been the first time she had held Leo since the day he had been born. Since that day, Tamara hadn’t even been anywhere near her son let alone held or even touched him and that was a shame.

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:26 am

10.

Luckily the dinner party went without a single hitch. Esther did everything she had been asked to do. No, make that had been told to do. She kept her eyes down and her mouth shut, as instructed by Tamara beforehand. The evening seemed to drag on and on until finally Carlos, Seb and David said goodbye. Esther could sense, that although they were nice men, that they actually were scared. Scared to open their mouths and speak. Just in case they either said something or did something wrong.
Esther was glad to fall into bed that night. She was tired. Of need of sleep. A lot of sleep. Looking after a crying Leo the night before hadn’t helped. She had just got into bed when Leo started crying. At first she tried to leave him to settle by himself but the crying continued until Esther felt that she had to go and see to him. She dragged her tired body out of bed and walked into the nursery, dressed only in her pyjamas. Only to find Urs already there. He was wearing what looked to be pyjamas bottoms and not much else. He was sitting in the nursery chair, Leo in his arms, feeding him a bottle.
‘I…I’m sorry.’ Esther apologised, on seeing him.
‘What for?’ he looked up at her and smiled.
‘For letting Leonardo cry…’
‘You didn’t let him cry. Anyway, you’re tired. Go back to bed Esther.’ he told her.
‘No, I can’t…’ she shook her head.
‘Esther, you’re tired.’
‘Yes, but I have a job to do…’
‘Which you need to be alert to.’
‘I am…’ she fought back a yawn.
‘Go to bed Esther.’
‘But…’
‘I can handle Leo.’
‘But my job…’
‘Look.’ Urs smiled, ‘go back to sleep, or I’ll personally fire you.’
‘You’d…’ she mumbled.
‘Sleep. Now.’ he smiled at her.
‘And my job…’
‘Is safe Esther. I wouldn’t really fire you. You are the best thing to ever happen to Leo.’ and to me he added in his head.
‘I…I’m only doing my job.’
‘Now go. Shoo.’ he said.
‘OK….if you’re sure…?’ she asked.
‘I’m sure. Sure. Go. Shoo.’
‘OK.’ and with that, Esther walked back to her bedroom. She just managed to climb back into bed before she fell asleep. She didn’t even have enough time to pull her covers up.
A while later, after Urs had finished feeding Leo, burped him and had even changed his nappy and he was once again fast asleep, safe, in his cot, he went to look on Esther.
He found her uncovered. He carefully covered her up, stroked some hair from her face, bent to place a light kiss on her forehead, murmured, ‘Sleep well beautiful.’ then reluctantly left the room. He then walked back to his own room.
He had long stopped sleeping with Tamara. Since the first night they had bought Leo home. And Esther.
Urs tried to sleep. Then something alerted him. At first he thought it was Leo, waking again or even Esther but then someone appeared in his doorway.
‘Hi honey…’ purred Tamara.
Urs reached for the light. He switched it on. ‘God. What do you want now?’ he asked.
‘You.’ she was standing there, in her underwear. A push up bra which made her breasts look like they were about to pop out at anytime and matching knickers. Plus, what looked to be stockings and suspenders. Tamara stood with her legs slightly apart. The matching knickers were crotchless ones.
Normally, a woman wearing that outfit would turn a guy like Urs on. But on Tamara it just looked tacky. Especially the crotchless knickers part. He groaned.
Mistaking the groan for one of desire and not disappointment, Tamara said, ‘I know. I look good, don’t I?’ she purred at him.
‘Not now Tamara.’ he muttered as she ignored him and started advancing towards him.
‘Yes, now Urs. Its been 3 months.’ she moaned, cupping her breasts to try and tempt him.
‘Yeah, and?’ he coolly replied.
‘And I want you. Like I know you want me.’ she pulled his bedcovers off, expecting to see his erection. Only, he didn’t have one. Not even the starting of one, ‘You’re not…’
‘No. I’m not, am I?’ he agreed.
‘But…’ she muttered.
‘But what Tamara?’
‘You want me. You need me!’ she stamped her foot.
‘That’s not what my body is telling you.’ Urs sensibly pointed out.
‘Who she is?’ Tamara then asked.
‘Eh…?’ he blinked.
‘Who is she? The woman you want?’
‘There is no woman!’ Urs nervously laughed.
‘Then why don’t you want me?’ Tamara screamed.
‘I’m tired. That’s all.’
‘Yeah, so tired you can’t even bring yourself to touch me anymore!’
‘Maybe, if you stop feeling and acting so self centred you’d understand.’ Urs snapped at her.
‘Ha! Understand! Ha! I’ve had a baby!’ Tamara snapped back.
‘Don’t make me laugh. You’ve had a baby who doesn’t even know you. Who doesn’t even recognise you when you hold him!’
‘Because you won’t let me anywhere near him!’ Tamara screamed.
‘Ha. Like you’d even know where the nursery is!’
‘Of course I know where the nursery is! I decorated it!’
‘Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.’
‘Ursy…’
‘Go back to sleep Tamara. I’m tired. I’m sure you’re tired too.’ Urs turned off the bedroom light.
‘Ursy…’ she tried again.
‘I’ll force you to go if I have to.’ he warned.
‘Ha. I’ll get you for this!’ Tamara warned before storming away. Slamming Urs’ bedroom door behind her.
Urs prayed she hadn’t woken Leonardo up. Esther needed her sleep. As did his son. His prayers must have been answered for Leo didn’t wake up until the next morning.

The next morning Urs came to a decision. He knew now exactly what he had to do. But first he needed to buy something. A very special something. He left the house early to go and buy what he needed. Arriving back home he managed to sneak into his newly made music room to hide the package. Ever since Esther and Leo had arrived he had been making changes around the place. There was now a guard around the fire, plus one ready for the top of the staircases. Every sharp corner had been either changed or smoothed off. His bike parts were now stored in the garage. Most of Tamara’s precious furniture had been changed or altered much to her disgust. She hated the change he had been making. But they needed to be making. Esther had pointed them out to him on their first talk they had had after they had arrived with Leo home from the hospital. Tamara had ranted and raved about every move he had made. She didn’t like the changing. She didn’t like having to alter her life, if only a little for such a noisy, small thing. Namely her own son.
He was just hiding ‘’it’’ when he heard an almighty noise. It sounded like someone, or something falling.
‘Get up!’ he heard Tamara scream out, stretch out to someone.
‘I…I can’t.’ he then heard Esther cry out.
‘Urs! Get in here now! NOW!’ Tamara then demanded of him.
He popped his head out of his room, ‘What is it? What is wrong?’ he asked.
‘She won’t move!’ Tamara glared at Esther who Urs now noticed was lying at the bottom of the stairs in a pile. A baby bottle clutched in her hand.
‘Esther! What is it? What’s wrong?’ he rushed to her side. His face full of concern for her.
‘I…I lost my footing.’ Esther winced, trying to move.
‘Here, ;et me help.’ Urs slowly, but surely, helped her carefully to her feet.
‘Tha…thanks.’ she winced in serious pain.
‘You need to see a doctor.’ Urs told her, still supporting her.
‘What! No! no she can’t!’ Tamara screeched at him.
‘Eh? Why not?’ Urs asked, blinking at her.
‘She had a duty. To our child!’
‘Esther, is injured.’ the lady in question couldn’t help but shiver when he said her name. Shivered with desire. He had such a way of saying just one simple thing. Her name. Esther. Esther.
‘She’s fine.’ Tamara spat.
‘No Esther isn’t.’ Urs told her, ‘just look at her foot!’ and sure enough, her foot was all swollen. It looked nasty. ‘I’m taking her to the hospital.’ he announced.
‘No. You can’t!’
‘Yes Tamara, I can.’
‘What…what about Leonardo?’ she asked.
‘You’re the mother. You look after him for once.’ Urs snapped at her.
‘No. No I can’t.’
‘Why not?’ Urs challenged.
‘I’ve…I’ve an important appointment!’ Tamara spouted.
‘Cancel it.’ Urs demanded.
‘What? No! I’m leaving. NOW!’ and with that, Tamara picked up her handbag, containing her purse full of credit cards, and a little money. Urs paid the bills monthly on the credit cards. Her mobile phone - designer, on a contract. God. The bills she rang up! Make up bag and car keys, and stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind her, loudly.
‘I’ll….I’ll be OK.’ Esther tried standing on her own.
‘No. You need an x-ray.’ Urs told her.
‘But Leo…we can’t leave him.’
‘No trouble. We’ll take him too.’
‘OK…’ Esther slowly nodded in agreement.
‘I’ll take the baby sling.’ Urs announced.
‘Leo likes that. Being held close.’ Esther smiled. She often used it. It seemed to settle him. Like all babies he loved being held close to a warm body.
‘Don’t we all.’ he agreed, gazing at her.
‘So, I’ll just go and…’ she blushed, trying to move away.
‘Oh no. No. You’re not going anywhere. You are to stay here. I’ll go and get Leo.’
‘But his sling..’
‘I can find it Esther. Relax.’ Urs then made her sit down on the white sofa, he had carried her to it, foot elevated then he went to get Leo, once he knew she was completely comfortable. He got all the necessary baby items they needed for a trip out. Including the baby sling. He then pilled them all into the car, Leo in his baby car seat then went to collect Esther. Despite her protests he carried her again to the car. Then drove them all to the hospital.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:31 am

11.

At the hospital, while the nurses fussed all over, and looked after Leo, they had all wanted to take care of him. It was amazing just how much a gorgeous looking man with a baby attracted women. They were like flies round a honey pot. Urs stuck with Esther when she went to have her x-ray.
‘Well…it isn’t broken.’ the doctor informed her while looking at her x-ray, ‘but, it is badly bruised.’
‘That’s good.’ Esther breathed a sigh of relief. She had feared it was broken and so would have lost her job over it. Knowing Tamara and how she was with Esther. She still didn’t know how it had happened. One minute she was standing at the top of the stairs, bottle in hand, about to walk down them to make Leo’s bottle up. The next thing she was at the bottom. In a heap. Tamara standing over her, face full of thunder, shouting at her to get up.
‘But, you won’t be able to use it. At least for a week.’ the doctor then broke out the bad news.
‘Eh….? But…but…’ Esther mumbled. Fearing the worst. Fearing the loss of her job. A job she loved for all the right reasons and for the occasional wrong reason too. Like having a massive crush on her boss. Which he seemed to like her having and kept encouraging her to have.
‘Unless, you want to do even more damage.’ the doctor warned.
‘Its OK. I won’t let her.’ Urs reassured the doctor.
‘Good. Well, Mrs Buhler, I’ll just go and get a prescription for some painkillers, then, you can leave.’
‘I’m not Mrs..’ Esther started to say.
‘Thank you doctor.’ Urs smiled, interrupting her.
The doctor smiled back then went to write out her prescription.
‘Why would he think I’m your…’ Esther mumbled.
‘Probably, because we arrived with Leo.’ Urs smiled.
‘He’s your child…not mine.’
‘They don’t know that.’ Urs pointed out.
‘No, suppose they don’t..’ they did look like a family. They all had dark hair and eyes. Suppose to the untrained eye they did look related. Pity they weren’t Esther sadly thought. Oh well.
‘I’ll get your prescription, then Leo. Don’t go away and certainly don’t move.’ he told her.
‘No Sir.’ Esther felt like saluting.
He smiled then went.
He came back, not long after, carrying Leo in his baby sling once again, holding a paper bag in one hand, and pushing a wheelchair.
‘I can walk..’ Esther tried to complain.
‘Not, if you don’t want to go damaging that foot anymore than its already is Mrs Buhler.’ a nurse who had arrived with Urs told her.
‘OK. OK.’ Esther sighed, letting the nurse help her into the wheelchair.
As Urs wheeled her out of the hospital, a lot of people stopped to comment on such a beautiful baby. Which made Urs smile and ‘What a wonderful family.’ which made Esther wish for something she would never let them be. They weren’t a family. Urs, Tamara, and Leo were a family. Not Urs, Esther and Leo. Even if, and she did, wish it to be different, it wasn’t. It wouldn’t. It couldn’t be true.
‘We’re not a family.’ Esther sighed after hearing that comment for the forth time.
‘I know we’re not…’ Urs started to say.
‘And, we’ll never be.’ she interrupted.
‘Won’t we?’ he stopped pushing her and came to kneel down in front of her.
‘No, we won’t.’ Esther sighed.
‘But you’d like us to be.’ he reached out and touched the side of her face.
‘Urs…please don’t.. We can’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘Tamara. Have you forgotten her?’ she asked.
‘Of course I haven’t. I can’t.’
‘Well then.’
‘But, if things were different…’
‘They aren’t thought.’
‘If they were…’
‘Urs..’ Esther complained.
‘At least answer me, please?’
‘OK.’ she sighed.
‘So?’ he asked.
‘OK…if they had been different, then maybe, yes.’ she finally admitted. But they weren’t and never could be.
‘I knew it.’ he smiled.
‘But they aren’t.’ she told him, ‘You’ve got Leo…and Tamara…and I’m…and I’m….’ she sighed a sad sigh, ‘and I’m just the nanny.’
‘Oh no Esther. You’re not just the nanny.’
‘But I am Urs, I am.’
‘You’re more than just the nanny. You are probably the most important person in Leo’s life.’ Urs told her.
‘Yeah, the nanny.’ she sighed.
‘No. You’re his…mother.’ Urs smiled.
‘No I’m not.’ Esther laughed at this.
‘You are. Or rather, the nearest person to one.’
‘But I’m not his real mother.’
‘To Leo you are.’
‘That doesn’t make it real.’
‘Oh Esther. Esther.’ Urs murmured before he carefully lent forward, so not to squash Leo attached to his chest in the sling and captured her mouth in a kiss. Like when Esther had been kissed by Urs before - his kisses felt like she was sinking into heaven. Like her whole being felt lighter, like nothing on earth mattered anymore. Until that is he stopped kissing her.
‘Come on.’ he announced, pulling his mouth away, with both him and her letting out a groan, ‘time to get us all home.’
Again he helped her into the car. They drove home in silence.
Unfortunately once they got home it didn’t stay that way for long. Urs had visions of setting Leo down then taking Esther to her room, laying her down on her bed and making sweet love to her. Something he had dreamed of for such a long time.
He hadn’t counted on Tamara being home.
‘Where the hell have you been?’ she accused on seeing Urs and Esther looking a little too cosy for her liking. He had his arms around her for some reason. Like he was supporting her. Ha. Tamara wanted to scream at Esther, ‘Get your hands off my man!’ but she didn’t. Instead she glared daggers at both Urs and Esther. Her hands bunching up into fists. Preparing to smack one of them. Preparing to hit out.
‘The hospital.’ Urs replied.
‘What? Why?’ she demanded.
‘Esther’s foot.’ he reminded her.
‘What of it?’ she blinked in confusion.
‘She hurt it. Falling down the stairs.’
‘Like that concerns me!’ Tamara snapped.
‘Well, it should. Esther needs to rest it.’
‘She can’t.’ Tamara moaned, ‘she has a child to look after.’
‘Not, for the next few days she doesn’t.’
‘But I need her! I need a nanny!’ Tamara cried.
‘We’ll get someone else in, to help out.’ Urs decided.
‘We can’t afford it!’
‘Don’t you mean I can’t afford it?’ Urs corrected.
‘Same thing.’ Tamara shrugged.
‘I can afford it. And I will.’ and even if he couldn’t he would have still found the money from somewhere. Esther was a woman in need of a decent rest. She hadn’t had one since she had started working for them. Leo was now three months old. That meant three months without a break. Three months without any time off. No wonder she had fallen down the stairs. She was exhausted. In need of a decent, long, rest.
‘Ha!’ Tamara snorted.
‘Either live with it, or move out.’ Urs snapped.
‘I’ll live with it. I suppose..’ Tamara muttered.
‘Well then. Now, if you’ll excuse me…’
‘Fine. I’ve things to do anyhow.’ and with that, Tamara stormed into Urs’ music room. His private music room. Urs was too angry to care so he just let her go.
‘Come on Esther, bedtime.’ he announced.
‘I…I…’ she tried protesting as he lifted her up into his arms.
‘No complaining. I am your boss, and as so I want you to be well again. And soon.’ he told her.
‘OK…’ she sighed.

Tamara stormed around Urs’ music room. Picking things up. Slamming them down again. Until she came across something in a drawer in his desk. A jewellery box. A small jewellery box. She opened it and gasped. It was a ring. A beautiful ring. An engagement kind by the looks of it. A simple looking diamond on a platinum band. Simple. A little boring for her tastes. But. She wasn’t going to complain. Well, she would, after he had presented it to her.
‘Oh, you are beautiful.’ Tamara picked it up out of the box. She tried it on. It wouldn’t fit. Not at all. ‘Silly man.’ she muttered, ‘he’s got the wrong size.’ she placed it back into the box with a smile. So, he was planning on marriage after all. And about time too. Her smile got wider as she started imagining her perfect wedding dress. She knew just the designer, Karenza designs. The designer who had created the dress she had worn at the dinner party. Yes. She’d contact them. She pulled out her mobile phone, dialled directory enquires to get the number. Then she called them.
‘I’m Tamara Roberts.’ she announced to the woman who had answered the call.
‘Who?’ the woman at the other end asked.
‘Tamara Roberts.’ she repeated, ‘Urs Buhler’s fiancée.’
‘He’s getting married? Since when?’ the woman asked.
‘Since I’m wearing his ring.’ Tamara snapped.
‘Right. OK…err. Congratulations.’
‘Thank you. So, I’ll need a designer wedding dress made.’
‘I’ll need to book you an appointment…’
‘Pardon?’ Tamara gasped.
‘An appointment. To see Karen, the designer.’
‘Why can’t I speak to her now?’
‘Karen, is busy.’
‘Doing what?’ Tamara snapped.
‘Designing,’ she was told.
‘Oh…I see.’
‘So, an appointment?’
‘If I must. But its so uncommon.’
‘Either make an appointment, or find another designer.’ the woman warned.
‘OK. OK. I’ll…make an appointment.’ Tamara relented. Although it was against her nature. She expected people to make appointments to see her. Not the other way around. Never the other way around.

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:33 am

_________________
12.
Urs settled Esther into her room, and after making sure she was comfortable and Leo was asleep, safe in his cot, rang a nursery agency of which Esther had given him the number of. He needed to arrange a short term nanny to look after Leo so Esther could get well again. He settled on a woman called Fara. Esther could recommend Fara. She had worked with her at the nursery. Not long after, Fara came round for an interview. She seemed a very nice girl. Well, woman. Plus, she had no idea who Urs was. Leo, it seemed, instantly loved her. He didn’t do his usual job of crying when she held him. Then again, it seemed as though the only person who was capable of making Leo cry when they held him was his own mother.
Fara immediately took over Esther’s role after chatting to her about Leo’s routine. Fara was to work from 8 in the morning until 6 at night with Esther supervising then Urs himself would take over. In that time Esther wasn’t allowed to walk or stand. Urs even went back to the hospital to borrow a wheelchair for Esther to use. It turned out that the house Urs and Tamara lived in had a small lift. It had been something Tamara had insisted on. When she was pregnant, Tamara had refused to do climbing stairs. So, as a compromise Urs had had a lift built at great expense.
‘Esther is to use the lift at all times.’ Urs informed Fara.
‘You’re making it sound as though Fara will have to baby sit me as well as Leo!’ Esther laughed after hearing this.
‘Well, yes.’ Urs agreed.
‘What? No! I don’t need…’
‘Esther, you need to get well. So to make sure you do.’ he interrupted her.
‘Its for your own good.’ Fara told her.
‘OK. OK.’ Esther finally relented, holding her hands up in surrender.
‘Good. Now, that’s all settled.’ Urs smiled, ‘excuse me ladies.’ he then apologised as his mobile phone burst into life.
On answering the call, Urs felt like screaming.
‘I’m what?’ he exclaimed down the phone.
‘Engaged, apparently.’ David informed him.
‘Says who?’ Urs asked.
‘Some woman from Karenza designs.’
‘Who?’
‘Some woman, claiming to be Tamara phoned them, and asked them to design her a wedding dress. As she was engaged, to you.’
‘But I’m not…I’d never..’ Urs muttered. Certainly not to Tamara. Never to Tamara. God. No. That would be a fate worse then dead. A prison sentence. God. No. Urs could never face that. Never that. Anything but that.
‘Well, in that case, someone, somewhere, is playing a game.’
‘And I think I know who.’ Urs suddenly realised.
‘Oh? Who?’ David asked.
‘I’ll let you know. Thanks, for telling me.’
‘Don’t thank me. Thank Joy. She’s the one who found out.’
‘Our brilliant PA and fiancée of Carlos.’ Urs smiled down the phone.
‘That’s the one. Talk to you later.’
‘Thanks David. Oh…you might want to meet Fara.’
‘Who?’ David asked.
‘Fara, our substitute nanny.’
‘Oh? What happened to Esther?’
‘Nothing. Well, she had an accident…’
‘Oh no.’ David exclaimed.
‘….So we’ve got in Fara to help out.’ Urs continued.
‘And Esther…?’
‘Oh, she’s still here. If I have any say in the matter she won’t be going anywhere.’
‘Then sort out this rumour.’ and fast David added in his head but didn’t say out loud to his friend.
‘Don’t worry. I plan too.’ Urs agreed, ‘I plan too.’ he repeated before putting the phone down on David. As soon as Urs had met Fara he knew, that she would be perfect for David.
David needed someone nice. Someone kind. Someone caring.
After he had got his heart broken by Natalia. David had thought Natalia was his ‘’the one.’’ Until she had walked out on him. They had lived together 6 years before it had happened. Then one day he had woken up to find her gone. All her stuff gone too. She couldn’t cope with him being famous she had written in her note. That she thought she had loved him. But couldn’t trust him anymore. It had taken David ages to stop himself from loving her and now Urs felt it was time fro him to move on. And he was sure, convinced at most, that Fara was the right woman to help start to heal David’s heart.

Urs found Tamara in her bedroom, searching through her wardrobes. Wardrobes in plural. Packed to the rafters wardrobes. Tamara did have an awful lot of clothing. More that Urs himself had. And what with touring regularly he did have a lot of clothing just for that.
‘Going somewhere?’ he asked, hoping she turn around and say, ‘’YES’’.
‘No Ursy. I’m not.’ she tried smiling. She was actually searching to find the perfect engagement outfit. For when he got around to asking her. Maybe she needed to buy something new. Something a little extra special for the extra special question he was due to pop. Anytime now. Must remember, act surprised when he asks you Tamara told herself. Act surprised.
‘Oh. I thought you were leaving me.’
In your dreams she thought. Out loud she said, ‘Never darling. I’m here to say.’
‘Hmm…’
‘What?’ she asked, sensing something was wrong.
‘I received a phone call just now. Apparently someone had leaked out a rumour. That I’m about to get married.’ he paused, looking right at her, ‘To you.’ he carried on.
‘Oh? Really?’ Tamara attempted to act her innocent look.
‘Like you didn’t already know.’ he glared at her.
‘Oh Ursy! I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help it! I found the ring. Now, I know you haven’t asked me yet but…’
‘Asked you what?’ Urs spat, interrupting her.
‘Why, to marry me of course!’ she laughed.
‘And you got that idea, from where exactly?’ he asked.
‘Only, from the engagement ring of course.’ she laughed again.
‘Engagement ring? What engagement ring?’ he demanded.
‘The…the one in your desk. In your music room…’
‘It isn’t for you.’ he snapped.
‘I mean, I know it’s the wrong size and all that….’
‘It isn’t for you.’ he repeated.
‘….Pardon?’ she gasped in surprise.
‘It isn’t for you.’ Urs repeated for a third time.
‘Who…who is it for then?’ she demanded.
‘What do you care?’
‘Is it for her?’ she spat.
‘Pardon?’ he asked.
‘Her. Your…’’the one.’’’ she spat again.
‘What makes you think…’ Urs muttered.
‘I might be blonde…’
‘A fake blonde.’ he interrupted cruelly.
‘…But I’m not stupid.’ she carried on, ‘I know you were planning on leaving me, for some…for some bimbo.’ she spat.
‘Bimbo?’ Urs laughed, ‘who are you calling a bimbo?’
‘Her. That…that airhead you think you’re in love with. Lust with more likely.’
‘She isn’t an airhead. Or a bimbo.’ Urs spat.
‘See! I knew there was someone!’
‘Nobody you know.’
‘I’d better not. Or I’ll scratch her eyes out!’ Tamara glared, flashing her very sharp, false, nails. ‘Anyway, who is that, that ring for?’ she then waved a hand in the direction of where the music room was situated and the desk.
‘What ring?’ Urs blinked.
‘That…that engagement ring.’ she spat.
‘Its for…for Joy.’
‘What?’
‘Joy. Yes. Joy.’ Urs nodded.
‘Why did you get a ring…for her?’ Joy? Was she the woman? The woman he loved? Joy? No. No. Not Joy. Never Joy. Joy was…well, she was boring. Plain. Dull Tamara cruelly thought. Certainly not his type. OK in the hair colour department maybe. But in anything else? No. Please!!
‘Carlos asked me to.’
‘But they are already engaged.’ a word that deeply wounded Tamara.
‘Carlos wanted…to get Joy another ring.’
‘Oh…I…I see.’
‘So, you announcing to a gossip columnist that we’re getting married, is wrong.’ Urs told her.
‘Oh….’
‘As I ready told you, a long time ago, I don’t do and will never do marriage.’
‘Oh, but I thought..’ Tamara muttered.
‘What? That you ‘’accidentally’’ getting yourself pregnant would somehow, magically, change my mind?’ Urs asked.
‘Well….yes.’ she admitted, nodding.
‘No Tamara.’
‘But you were…with Valeria.’ she spat.
‘How do you know…?’ Urs gasped in surprise.
‘I guessed.’ and it had so hurt her to find out that piece of information.
‘Yes, well. I’m not with Valeria anymore.’ he sadly sighed.
‘I’ve got you.’ Tamara cruelly smiled.
‘And don’t I know that.’ Urs sadly sighed again.
‘Never forget that. Ever.’ she warned.
‘Oh, don’t you worry. I won’t. I can’t. You won’t let me.’ Urs sighed again, walking away, wishing things were so different from what they were. And thinking that there was no way out of the situation he was stuck in. A relationship with a woman he didn’t love. Had never loved if truth be told.

After walking away from Tamara, Urs needed to get out. And he needed someone to talk to. He rang David and arranged to meet up.
‘I’m in…deep trouble.’ he sighed on meeting up with his friend. His best friend.
‘Oh?’ David asked, sounding concerned.
‘I’ve come to realise a few things.’
‘Like?’
‘Like…like where my heart lies. Who it lies with.’
‘Oh? With who then?’ David held his breath. Hoping his friend wouldn’t go and utter the name ‘’Tamara’’. Luckily, he didn’t. PHEW!
‘Esther.’ Urs smiled for the first time on meeting up.
‘Not Tamara then?’ David returned the smile.
‘God. No.’ Urs shook his head.
‘Why did you and Valeria split up?’ David then asked.
‘You see, that’s the thing. I have no idea.’ Urs shrugged.
‘You seemed happy together…’
‘Oh we were. We were. I mean, I was even thinking, about changing my mind.’ Urs bravely admitted.
‘You mean about the ‘’M’’ word?’ meaning, marriage.
‘Yeah. And the ‘’C’’ word too.’ he admitted. Yep. You guessed it. The children word too. Surprising don’t you think? Or, maybe not.
‘WOW.’ David breathed.
‘I loved Valeria. Thought she was my ‘’the one’’. I planned to ask her to…’ Urs gulped nervously, ‘to…marry me.’ he finished.
‘Then you split up.’ David sighed. He had liked Valeria. Everyone had liked Valeria. Loved her almost. She had been amazing. Long dark curly hair. Light brown eyes. She had been lovely inside, and out.
‘Yep. The we split up.’ Urs agreed in a sigh. ‘We suddenly started arguing. About such little things.’
‘Tamara?’ David asked.
‘She…she was there.’
‘Conveniently.’ David agreed, ‘To lend a shoulder, to cry on.’ he helped out with.
‘Yeah, something like that.’ Urs shrugged, ‘but now…now I’m starting to think.’
‘About what?’
‘Did she…have a helping hand in Valeria and I….splitting up?’
‘She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. Could she?’
‘Well, she started working for us around the time Valeria and I…started fighting.’ Urs revealed.
‘But that doesn’t mean..’ David mumbled. I mean he knew she was capable of doing some things. But this? So it was turning out to be.
‘When Tamara first started working for us, my mobile phone went missing. Just for a day. She was the one who…who ‘’discovered’’ it for me again.’
‘God. What a bitch.’ then David remembering who Tamara was, the mother of his friends son, apologised, ‘Sorry mate.’ he said.
‘No. Don’t apologise. You’re right. She is a bitch. I’m starting to see that. Now.’
‘And she was the one…who leaked your ‘’fake’’ engagement too.’
‘Oh yes. She was the one.’ Urs sighed in agreement.
‘What a bitch.’ David exclaimed again.
‘One thing though…’
‘Go on?’
‘The engagement ring Tamara found, was for…for…’ Urs paused.
‘Esther?’ David, interrupted, guessed.
Correctly. Urs nodded in agreement.
‘Thought so.’ David smiled. He liked Esther from what he had met of her. No wonder his friend wanted to marry her. She was lovely. She and Tamara were like chalk and cheese. So totally different from each other as two women could be. One hard and cold feeling. The other light the room up when she entered it. Who shined with love and caring. Who could blame Urs for falling in love with someone like that? Certainly not David.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:34 am

13.

As soon as Urs had seen Esther all those months ago, in the crowd at his concert, he knew. She was the one. The one he wanted to be with. Forever. But then Tamara had dropped her ‘’bombshell’’ about the pregnancy and so he let his dreams, hopes and desires go to do his duty and be responsible. As a parent. As a father. As a boyfriend should be. Should do. It had been fate, surely, that had bought Esther back into his life. Or something a bit more. So he had gone out and bought the engagement ring. Meant for Esther and only for Esther. His ideal woman. But then horror against horror, Tamara had found the engagement ring, had touched it, had tried it on, and he had had to lie. Now, all he needed to do was to get to Carlos, and Joy, before Tamara did. It wouldn’t be easy. Although Tamara didn’t like Joy she still kept in touch with her. Kept her up to date on her and Urs’ relationship. Hoping, to find some way to prove it. To encourage Urs into proposing marriage. And OK, the ring might not have been for her but that didn’t stop Tamara hoping and wishing it could be. It would be for her one day. Soon.
As if by magic, or wonderful design, Tamara managed to ‘’arrange’’ to bump into Joy while out shopping. Actually, she had rang up Carlos and demanded that he tell her the whereabouts of his fiancée. Carlos, too shocked to lie, had told the truth.
‘Joy! How lovely it is to see you!’ she exclaimed, on ’’bumping into’’ her, while doing ‘’air’’ kisses. She so wished she could be an actress. Tamara was vain enough to be one.
‘Tamara.’ Joy replied, ‘where is…Leonardo, and Urs?’ she asked.
‘Oh. Somewhere.’ she waved a hand around.
‘It would have been nice…to see, to meet Leo…nardo.’ said Joy. She had yet to meet the poor little mite. She felt sorry for him. Having Tamara as a mother. What had he done so soon in his life to deserve such an awful parent? Luckily Urs was a nice, kind, considerate, loving parent.
‘Oh, we’ve plenty of time for that. Plenty of time.’ Tamara laughed. Or rather should that be, cackled. Plus, she hated people mentioning either Leo or Urs. Wasn’t seeing her enough for anyone? Why did they always want to see the child? He was nothing to look at. For her child, Leo was actually rather ugly looking. Plus he cried a hell of a lot. More then she had been let to believe babies did.
‘Hmm…’
‘Anyway, I hear Carlos is getting you a new engagement ring.’ Tamara told her.
‘Oh…? Where did you hear that from?’ Joy asked without batting an eyelid.
‘Urs. He was…hiding it. Oh! I haven’t ruined the surprise now, have I?’ Tamara faked an apology.
‘No. No.’ Joy faked a caring smile.
‘So…you know about the ring…’ Tamara mumbled.
‘Yes. Yes. Of course I do.’
‘Oh, only…’
‘Carlos, wanted to…celebrate out…three year anniversary, with a ring.’ lied Joy, easily.
‘Another ring?’ Tamara snapped. Was the man made of money or something she wondered? Even though it had been a rather plain ring, to her tastes plain, it had also looked expensive. It was the sort of ring that screamed glamour and love. Not money, money, money like Tamara wished her dream engagement ring to scream. She wanted it to be so obvious that a lot of money had been spent on her ring. She loved money. Loved jewellery. Wanted her engagement ring to reflect that.
‘Well, Carlos does love to…to spoil me.’
‘Unlike Urs.’ Tamara muttered.
‘Oh, I wouldn’t say that. You did get a huge house..’
‘I did, yes.’ she nodded.
‘And, a child.’
‘Oh, I got that too.’ Tamara nodded again. And what a disappointment that had turned out to be. A crying, screaming thing that she could do nothing wrong. Plus he was of the wrong sex. Typical. Couldn’t Urs get anything right?
‘So, you can’t complain. Too much.’
‘Oh, but I can. I can.’ Tamara nodded for a third time.
‘Why though?’ Joy stupidly asked.
‘Because I want a wedding!’ Tamara stamped her foot. Which, considering the size of the heels she was wearing was an interesting thing to witness her doing. She almost, but not quite, almost fell over on her face doing it. Joy had to bite back the urge to laugh out loud at her. She looked like a child, throwing a tantrum. Pathetic to watch from a grown woman. It was so sad.
‘Urs told you, when you first got together, that he doesn’t do marriage.’ Joy pointed out a reminder. Urs had made his feelings on marriage and him perfectly clear. To everyone. So it wasn’t a surprise that he refused to change his mind or have it changed for him.
‘I thought…I thought that I could…change his mind.’ she admitted.
‘Not something you should do.’
‘I don’t see why not!’ Tamara cried.
‘Well, you’re learn it.’
‘Yeah, like I want YOUR advice.’ she snapped at Joy.’
‘Don’t moan at me. You’re the one who came to see me. Not, the other way around.’ Joy pointed out.
‘I don’t like you, do you know that?’
‘I had guessed, something.’ Joy sarcastically replied.
‘HA!’ and with that, Tamara turned on her heels and stormed off.
Joy, after Tamara had completely disappeared, got out her mobile phone and sent a text to Urs, ‘Don’t make me lie again. I know I don’t like Tamara, but still.’ she sent.
‘Sorry.’ Urs text back, ‘won’t do it again.’
‘You had better not.’ Joy muttered to her mobile phone before putting it away.

Seb was in lust. With a most unusual woman. The type who didn’t like him. Usually he had women throwing themselves at him daily. But not her. Not Karen. She refused to take him seriously. At all. He had met her in a café next door to where she worked. Karen was Karenza fashions. She designed, made and sold all types of clothing. Seb had attempted, unsuccessfully, to impress her by ordering a lot of clothing from her shop but still she wouldn’t look at him twice. But she was so gorgeous. Just his type. Longish dark curly brown hair and grey eyes. He couldn’t help but swoon everything he looked at her. To him she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. And she didn’t want to know him! Strange, silly woman he thought to himself. He would soon change that. Given half the chance.
‘I know your type, and I’m not impressed.’ she told him after he tried asking her out on a date.
‘How can you know me? You’ve never met me!’ he tried.
‘You are Sebastien Izambard of IL DIVO. French. 36 years old. And the worlds biggest flirt.’ she told him. Summing him up in a few simple words. She had got him spot on even if he had to admit as much himself.
‘Oh. You…recognised me.’ he realised. Wouldn’t that be a point to him?
‘That, I do.’
‘You like…our music?’ he asked.
‘I was once….at a concert.’ Karen confessed.
‘So, there is hope for us after all.’
‘Us? Us? Who said there will be an US?’ Karen asked.
‘You know who I am. That’s half the problem gone.’ he smiled, ignoring her.
‘I said, there will never be an ‘’US’’.’ Karen repeated.
‘You can’t say that. You haven’t even been on a date with me yet. I tell you.’ Seb winked, ‘I’m good.’
‘Considering, you’ve probably had more women that I’ve had hot dinners.’ Karen muttered in reply.
‘Only…because I’ve not yet met the right woman.’ he tried sulking, unsuccessfully. The twinkle in his eyes gave that he was only joking away.
‘I’m not her.’ Karen muttered again.
‘Give me time, and you could be.’
‘OK. OK.’ Karen held her hands up in surrender, ‘one date.’
‘I knew I’d win you over!’ Seb beamed.
‘I said, one date!’ she repeated.
‘Right. OK. One date.’ Seb happily nodded.
‘Impress me on that one date, or there won’t be a second, or a third, or a…’
‘I’ll pull out all the stops!’ Seb smiled.
‘Nothing fancy. I don’t do fancy.’ Karen warned.
‘Right, nothing fancy. OK.’
‘Or there won’t be a sec…’
‘Karen. Karen. Trust me. Trust me.’ Seb smiled at her.
‘Hmmm….’ Karen muttered, but she wasn’t impressed. She had yet to meet a man who could impress her. She didn’t want anything, or anyone fancy. Just someone to love who she could love in return. Someone who could make her laugh without trying but also knew when to be serious. Was that asking too much? Karen didn’t think so. She hoped not.

Urs went back to the house. It was now night time. He found Fara gone for the day. Tamara still out somewhere, thank god, Leo fast asleep, and Esther doing something that slightly angered him. She was in her underwear, a matching pink bra and knickers, not the part he was angry about. He was something on seeing that. Instantly horny I think summed it up rather well, anyway, back to Esther and what she was doing. Standing up in her room.
‘What on earth are you doing?’ Urs exclaimed on seeing her.
‘I…I..’ she tried to cover herself up, unsuccessfully, with her hands.
Her nipples instantly hardened on hearing his voice.
‘Standing up.’ he pointed out.
‘I was just..’ Esther tried again.
Urs grabbed hold of her and threw her down onto her bed.
‘Urs..’ she tried complaining.
‘You were told. To keep your weight of your foot.’
‘I was just…’ she scrambled to sit up.
‘I don’t care Esther. You’re supposed to stay off your feet.’ he told her again.
‘I was just…’ Esther tried a third time, ‘getting my painkillers.’
‘In your underwear?’ he asked, his eyes darkening with desire.
‘OK. I was getting changed too.’ she admitted. Even though she wasn’t technically looking after Leo at the moment she still wore her uniform everyday.
‘You should have asked Fara, to help you.’
‘Fara, has had her hands full with Leo all day.’
‘Right. OK. Of course.’ he nodded in recognition, running his hands through his hair as he spoke. Messing it up. He looked more gorgeous with messed up hair Esther couldn’t help but notice.
‘Could I at least..’ she gestured to something behind him.
‘What?’ Urs blinked.
‘Cover myself up?’ Esther asked.
‘If, you have to.’ he sighed, handing her a t-shirt. The smallest t-shirt he could find. It hadn’t been the item she had been gesturing to. That, had been her bathrobe.
‘Urs, please don’t..’ she now sighed, pulling it on. Trying to cover her whole body with one simple item of clothing. Why hadn’t he handed her the bathrobe like she had indicated to him?
‘Please don’t what…?’
‘You have…Tamara and Leo…’
‘I know I do.’
‘You love them.’
‘No I don’t.’
‘OK. You at least love Leo.’ Esther corrected herself.
‘Yes, yes I do love Leo.’ he smiled.
‘So you shouldn’t…I shouldn’t…we shouldn’t…’
‘But I can’t help myself. I want you. And.’ he looked intensely at her, ‘I know you want me too.’ he knelt down besides her on the bed.
‘You’re taken. And my boss. Two very good reasons why we can’t… why we should never..’
‘Doesn’t stop me hoping, and wishing.’ he reached out a hand and touched her bare thigh.
‘Please Urs…’ she groaned as he slide his hand up her smooth, bare thigh.
‘Please what?’ he asked.
‘I…I…’
He lent closer, ‘I’ve something for you. Something that will make you forget your pain.’ he smiled.
‘I doubt you could…’
He cut her off mid-sentence with a kiss. A very passionate kiss. Esther groaned and returned the kiss then groaned again as she felt Urs’ fingers work their way under her pink knickers until they touched her wet spot. She then gasped as he inserted two fingers.
‘No Urs… we can’t…’ she gasped again.
‘Sshh…’ he whispered, ‘just enjoy it.’
He carried on kissing her as his fingers worked deep inside of her. It didn’t take long. Esther was so turned on and Urs had very clever, excellent fingers. Soon she was gasping and moaning her orgasm against his mouth.
‘That’s it.’ he whispered, ‘let it go.’
After she’d come, Urs removed his fingers. Esther tried not to whimper too much in disappointment. He pulled away and looked into her eyes. ‘I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.’ he admitted.
‘But we shouldn’t have…you shouldn’t have..’ Esther fought back and lost against, a yawn.
‘Yes I should have.’ he nodded, smiling.
‘But…’
Urs silenced her, ‘No buts Esther. No regrets.’
‘I…’ she tried again, yawning.
He kissed her forehead, ‘Sleep.’ he told her, ‘rest.’
‘I…..OK.’ she yawned a third time, feeling her eyes close in exhaustion. Moments later she was fast asleep. Urs watched her sleep for a while then reluctantly left the room. He had a ‘’partner’’ or whoever or whatever Tamara was to break up with.
He had spent half the day at his lawyers. Sorting out some details. Some paperwork. Mostly going over Esther’s contract. It seemed that he, Urs Buhler, an he alone employed her. He paid her wages and as Tamara hadn’t had any contact, at all with either Leo or Esther since Leo had been born she had no claim on either one of them. Certainly not on Leo. His birth certificate was in Urs’ name. Not Tamara’s. So…she had not one claim. And OK, maybe he was being a little cruel but he couldn’t help but think it served Tamara right. She would lose everything. The lawyer had already put a stop to her credit cards. From now on, she could only spent money she had earn herself. Which would be…nothing. But Urs was arranging one credit card, with a limit of £10,000 on it. Anything she spent over that or more importantly up to that she would have to repay back. The amount of £10,000 was a one-off payment. She would receive no more money until after Urs’ lawyer and hers’ had sorted out a settlement. If she didn’t like it - then she could sue him. Which, she probably would do anyway.
Urs sat, in the kitchen which was near the main front door and waited for Tamara to come home. He had already tried her mobile phone several times but with no luck. Either she was ignoring his calls or had her mobile switched off.
Whatever the reason he was feeling a little uneasy.
Was she out somewhere wrecking revenge on him already?
Urs doubted to think.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:40 am

14.

Seb’s date didn’t go at all as he had planned it. But it still ended the way he secretly wished it would. With a kiss. Just a simple little kiss but it was still a start. The sort that would lead onto other dates. Maybe more kissing. Maybe even something a bit more. Sex or not sex? Who would know with Karen as his date. She wasn’t the type that did sleeping with someone unless she knew that they were worth being with for a long term arrangement. Not that Seb knew any of this. Yet. But he would soon, when he got to know Karen better. Seb arranged a picnic. Simple. Not too fussy. He had bought and prepared the food himself using everything he could remember his mother teaching him. He made ham salad rolls. Had a chocolate pudding with cream and to drink lemonade. Dull and slightly boring, but it was simple. Just like Karen had asked for. Everything had started out great. Perfect in fact. Karen looked wonderful in a white long sleeved top which had a blue flower on it, blue jeans. Her hair, which was shoulder length and curly and mad looking when down, was up in a ponytail. She looked beautiful and smelt divine. Like blackberries. Seb couldn’t help but sniff her on meeting up. Seb also looked OK. Freshly shaved in a green shirt, top two buttons undone to show a hint of chest hair and blue jeans. He met up with Karen at the allotted place and time. She refused to let him pick her up from home so they had settled on a compromise. It was actually at the café they had first met out, Seb had surprised Karen with a small bouquet of daisies. Which he had picked himself. Wild daisies. He had nearly, but not quite got caught picking them from an irate garden owner. But they had looked so pretty and he wanted to get Karen some flowers and he knew she wouldn’t accept shop bought ones. They were too flashy and Karen hated, hated flashy. They had walked the short distance to where the picnic was already set up. So far so good. Only Seb hadn’t counted on one thing. The weather. Barely half way through enjoying their food, for they both were enjoying themselves, laughing and joking. Seb did know some rather fun, if a little rude a lot of jokes, the sun, which had been shining so brightly in the sky had suddenly disappeared and the skies had darkened. Moments later the heavens had opened and a downpour had started. Instead of shrieking or complaining, like he actually expected her to do, (she was female after all and so could be unpredictable at the best of times), Karen and eventually Seb, had burst out laughing.
‘Great date.’ Karen had laughed as they had rushed to collect up the food. She hadn’t been sarcastic either. She really meant it. It had been a great date. So much better than she had expected it to be. He knew for it showed in her eyes. Her happiness, her laugher shone out at him as bright as the sun had been before it had gone and disappeared on him. Typical English weather really. Rainy and wet and dull and damp.
‘I never thought about the weather…sorry.’ Seb apologised once they had found shelter under a tree.
‘Hey, you’re not a god. Just a man.’ Karen had smiled, placing a quick kiss on his mouth.
Seb gaped at her, open mouthed. She had kissed him.
Something he had dreamt about. And now, it had happened. Wow.
He blinked in surprise. ‘Thanks.’ he found himself blushing.
After it had stopped raining Seb had walked Karen home.
There hadn’t been anymore kissing. But there had been a little contact. Skin to skin contact. They had held hands. It hadn’t been a lot but it had been a start. Seb now knew their would be other dates. A lot more dates for him and for Karen and that pleased him. A lot.

Tamara hated driving in the rain. She hated putting on the windscreen wipers. Hated wearing her distance glasses. Suppose that is why the accident happened. The one in which killed her. She was squinting through the rain, radio blearing out a Mariah Carey track when she swerved. To avoid what the police never found out. They found her car when it was all too late. Tamara, probably instantly broke her neck, the coroner guessed, killing her as the car crashed into a tree and burst into flames. It was an ugly sight. Not a lot was left when the car had stopped burning and the firemen had managed to put the car out. Just a burnt looking body. Which could only be identified by the drivers licence they found next to the body.

Urs waited in the kitchen for Tamara to come home. All night long he waited. But she never came home. A policeman, with bad news came to visit though. As the policeman, called PC Andrew Frazer told Urs the sad news about his partners death Urs was surprised, or not, to realise that he felt…nothing. He was now a free man. But he felt nothing. Not sadness or joy. Nothing. At all. He listened to PC Frazer, nodded in all the right areas but that was it.
‘You’re in shock Sir.’ PC Frazer told Urs.
‘Yeah, probably.’ he agreed, not knowing what to say either.
He should have felt something. Shouldn’t have he? After all he had been with Tamara for nearly 3 years. She was the mother of his child. But no. Nothing would come. At all. How weird. How strange. How funny. Urs wanted to burst out laughing. But he didn’t. For he knew it wouldn’t be appropriate. Ha. Then again, what was nowadays? So he kept quiet.
‘Do you have a friend, or a relative who can stay with you Sir?’ PC Frazer asked.
‘Esther.’ Urs murmured.
‘Who Sir?’
‘Esther…she’s, upstairs.’
‘Shall I Sir?’
‘What?’ Urs asked.
‘Go and get her Sir?’ PC Frazer asked.
‘Err…no. I’ll…’
‘OK Sir.’ PC Frazer nodded, waiting.
‘You can go now.’ he told him.
‘But Sir…’
‘I’ll be OK. We’ll be OK.’
‘OK Sir…’
‘Look, check on me tomorrow if you don’t believe me.’ Urs told the policeman.
‘OK Sir.’ the policeman nodded then finally left.
Urs locked the front door after the policeman had left then, as if in a daze, walked up the stairs to Esther’s room.
He found her, still asleep. Without thinking he pulled all his clothes off then climbed into bed, now naked, with her. He pulled her easily into his arms, closed his eyes and finally fell asleep.

A while later, Esther woke, feeling something, or rather someone, laying on her stomach. She opened her eyes to find…
‘Urs.’ she gasped. She reached out and touched him. Yep. He was real. She shook him awake, ‘Urs.’ she said, ‘what are you doing here?’
‘Esther..’ he opened his eyes, lifting his head to look at her.
‘What, are you doing here?’ she repeated.
‘Tamara, she’s…’
‘You’ve got to go.’ she hissed.
‘No. Its OK.’ he smiled, ‘Tamara…she’s dead.’
‘Oh no! Oh Urs.’ Esther cried.
‘Hold me, please?’ he asked.
‘I…I…’
‘I need you close. Please Esther?’
‘I….OK.’ she sighed.
‘Thank you.’ he nodded, laying his head next to hers.
‘But only for a while…’
‘Thank you.’ he repeated, closing his eyes again.
Esther lay and watched him sleep. He was rather beautiful she noticed. Of course he was handsome but he was also beautiful too. He had amazing bone structure. A biggish nose but it fitted his face. Kissable lips. Chinese looking eyes while asleep. But they were almost almond shaped while open. His eye colour was almost indescribable. Not quite brown or green. Hazel didn’t seem to cover it. Leo had inherited Urs’ unusual eye colour, bone structure and mouth shape. But you could still see Tamara in him. Especially when he cried. Then again, Esther had never seen Tamara smile. Not once so she wouldn’t know if Leo had the same smile. And she guessed she never would learn it. Tamara was dead. Dead. God! When? How? Why? Esther wanted to ask Urs but she couldn’t wake him. Not when he looked so peaceful. Looked so in need of sleep. Of rest. So instead Esther kept quiet and just held him in her arms.
Esther must have dozed of because she woke with a start when Leo started crying. She looked for Urs. He wasn’t in the bed anymore. She crawled out of bed and limped into the nursery. Urs was there. Holding Leo.
‘Is he OK?’ she asked.
‘He’s fine.’ Urs nodded, placing him back in his cot. His non frilly cot. Esther’s first job had been to de-clutter it of frills. It had taken a long time. She had also got rid of the pink cover the cot had and replaced it with one of Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. At least Eeyore was blue. More fitting for a baby boy.
‘Come on, lets go back to bed.’ Urs then announced to her.
Without protest Esther let him pick her up in his arms and carry her back to her room. There, he undressed her, he was still naked and a naked Urs was a glorious sight to see. He had muscle almost everywhere. A light covering of hair on his chest which got darker as it went down to his belly button and beyond. My, Esther noticed. He was a rather well endowed man. Not that she had seen many men, OK, any men naked. She was, after all, still a virgin.
When she was naked, Urs lay her down on the bed and kissed and touched her all over. He kissed her mouth. Her neck. Her breasts. Her stomach. Her belly button. Her thighs. And even her feet. Making her squirm with wanting him so much. They didn’t speak. Only communicated with touch and kiss. Esther then kissed hi,. She licked his chest. His belly button. His thighs but before she could kiss his penis he set to work on her. Cupping her breasts. Licking and kissing and gently biting her nipples, making her moan out in delight. Then he kissed his way down to her thighs. Esther gasped in ecstasy as she felt Urs’ tongue, deep inside her. It didn’t take her long to orgasm. Then he placed himself between her thighs and slowly, but surely, eased himself inside of her. Kissing her all the while. His hands lightly rubbing at her nipples. Esther clutched at his shoulders and gasped into his mouth as he broke her virginity.
‘Oh…Oh…Oh god.’ she finally moaned out loud.
‘Oh….Oh…Esther.’ Urs agreed as he came.
Afterwards, they lay entwined and slept.
It wasn’t until much later that Urs finally realised that Esther had been, up until now, a virgin.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:43 am

15.

When David, Carlos and Seb found out that Tamara had died they had been surprised, but like Urs they didn’t really feel anything else.
David and Carlos had never liked Tamara. Not one bit. Whereas at first, Seb had fancied Tamara, until he had started talking to her. Then he had soon changed his mind. Tamara was an airhead. Empty. Even Seb liked something more. A personality. Luckily meeting Karen had proved that. Karen was the right woman for Seb. She was certainly intelligent. Interesting. Could hold a conversation. Talk about different subjects. Whereas Tamara just could talk about make up products and hair and fashion. Boring. Dull. Uninteresting subjects.
They greeted Urs with hugs and sorrows on meeting up a few days later.
‘Oh Urs, we’re…sad, about..’ David tried.
‘Thanks.’ he nodded.
‘We’ll….miss…’ Carlos tailed off, trying.
‘You might. I won’t.’ Urs shocked them all by admitting.
‘But I thought…you loved…’ Carlos tried.
‘I never loved Tamara. Ever.’
‘Oh. Right.’ Carlos nodded.
‘Sorry. Don’t mean to be…insensitive.’ Urs apologised to his friends.
‘Hey, at least you’re being honest.’ Seb pointed out to him.
‘That, I sure am.’ Urs agreed, nodding.
‘So….the funeral?’ David asked.
‘Its…set for next week.’ Urs told them, ‘you are all…invited.’ telling them they were all invited made it sound like he was inviting them to a wedding and not a funeral. Did you invite people to attend a funeral? Urs didn’t know. He just hoped he was doing the right thing. By inviting them all.
‘OK.’ Carlos nodded, ‘is…Leo coming too?’
‘Yes.’ Urs nodded, ‘and…Esther.’
‘As…?’ David probed, knowing that more was coming.
‘The nanny, I’m assuming.’ Carlos spoke before Urs that the chance to.
‘Actually.’ he corrected, ‘as my partner.’ he wanted to say ‘as my fiancée.’ but didn’t know how to tell them that just this moment in time. But he would soon, once they had got over the shock of Urs and Esther being together. As a unit.
‘Eh? When did this happen?’ Seb asked.
‘The night Tamara died.’
‘Before, or after?’ Carlos asked.
‘Afterwards.’ he told them. Right afterwards. But they didn’t need to know ALL the details.
‘Phew!’ Carlos exhaled.
‘It doesn’t make any difference thought.’
‘You…obviously turned to Esther. For comfort.’ Carlos lightly smiled.
Comfort? comfort? Turning to woman he loved for comfort? No. ‘I turned to Esther because she is kind.’ he told them all, ‘Caring. Loving.’ Urs corrected.
‘But bringing her…as your partner…to your, ex’s funeral. Isn’t that being a little…insensitive?’ Carlos carefully asked.
‘I don’t see how.’
‘Well, Urs, you see…’ Carlos tried.
‘We want you to be happy.’ David interrupted, ‘and, if Esther is the one who does, make you happy that is, then…’
‘Of course. You’re right David. Yes.’ Carlos suddenly realised.
‘I love Esther. She…she…’ Urs tried.
‘She cares for you too.’ David helped out with.
‘Yes. She does.’ Urs nodded, ‘that is why Esther and I...are getting married.’ he then announced. Obviously surprising them all with this revelation.
‘Eh? What?’ Seb gasped.
‘Esther and I….are getting married.’ he repeated a little louder this time.
‘Since when?’ David asked.
‘Since I asked her.’
‘But…but…’ David mumbled as if in shock.
‘We slept together. I…discovered something about her…so I asked her, to marry me.’ Urs told them all.
‘And this something is?’ David asked.
‘She…was a virgin.’
‘….Up until the time you slept together, right?’ David guessed, finishing the sentence.

That morning, when Urs had woken up he had suddenly realised something, - well, finding the evidence had helped too. Blood. On the bed sheets. Which, could only mean one thing - well, it could have meant two things but Urs preferred to go for the nicer option he could think of. Esther had been a virgin. Urs had been her first ever lover. That made him happy. He wanted to be her only one too. Plus, them sleeping together, having unprotected sex could mean that she had conceived his baby the night before. He wanted to make the right commitment this time. He wanted marriage. To marry Esther. The woman he loved. (The other possible reason for the blood being that he had could have been a little too rough the night before and hadn’t waited long enough for before sleeping with Esther. That she had needed more foreplay) So he had gone to find her, in the kitchen, making breakfast. Leo in his bouncy chair, and had surprised her with the question, ‘Will you marry me Esther?’
He had seemed so happy. So alive. Esther, without thinking, had found herself answering, ‘Yes. Yes I will.’ Urs had then produced the engagement ring. Yes, the very same one Tamara had found before she had died. The one she had tried on, thinking it had been for her.
He had slipped it onto her finger, had pulled her to him and had kissed her. Feeling more happy than he had ever done in his entire life before. Nothing could come close - except the first time he had held Leo, his son, in his arms. He had felt happy. Complete.
‘So, we’re getting married.’ Urs repeated. Bringing himself regrettably back to the present.
‘When…?’ Carlos asked.
‘As soon as it can be arranged.’ Urs smiled. The others noticed the smile. It was his first genuine one they had seen in quite a while. They had only witnessed that smile twice. Once when Urs had announced he had met the woman of his dreams, Esther. Second - when Leonardo had been born and Urs had met up with them all to tell them the news.
‘OK.’ Carlos nodded.
‘So, David.’ Urs asked, ‘I was wondering…would you be my best man?’ he nervously enquired.
‘Err…yeah. Sure. OK.’ David nodded.
‘Great. Great.’ Urs beamed, ‘thanks.’
‘Err…no problem.’ mumbled David.
‘So, Urs mate, you’re finally getting married, eh?’ Seb winked.
‘I certainly am.’ he nodded.
‘Something, we thought would never happen.’ David admitted.
‘Tamara wanted us to.’ Urs then told them.
‘Oh, and don’t we all know that.’ Carlos sighed. She had been constant. Never relenting. Never letting up. Trying every trick in the book she had, trying to make Urs change his mind. Which, he had never done. No matter what she had tried. Heck she had even gone ahead and had had his child and still no ring was presented to her. Urs just wasn’t the marrying type. At least not where Tamara was concerned.
‘But I never…with Tamara. I thought.’ Urs sighed, ‘I thought.’ he repeated, ‘that after Valeria and I split. I’d never meet anyone else. I’d ever…fall in love with.’
‘Then you met Esther.’ Seb smiled.
‘Then I met Esther. And thank god for her.’ Urs smiled. His whole face lighting up with the simple mention of Esther’s name.
‘What happened, between you and Valeria though?’ Carlos asked.
‘I think…although I’ve no evidence, that Tamara, somehow, managed to split us up.’ Urs informed them all.
‘Thought so.’ Carlos nodded, ‘I mean…Joy did have some suspicions, but nothing she could prove.’
‘It all makes sense. Now.’ Urs nodded.
‘Now you can’t do anything, or say anything to Tamara about it.’ Seb said.
‘I’m just glad that she is dead. Or I would have surely killed her by now.’ Urs threatened no one in particular. For a brief moment he looked angry. But then it disappeared again. Seb, who had seen the look on his friends face, breathed a silent sight of relief. He didn’t like it when Urs looked angry. It was a rather scary look. But now he was OK. Back to normal. Well, as normal as anyone could look.

Esther had to break the news of her ‘’engagement’’ to her friends. Karen and Fara. It came as a complete surprise to Karen.
‘You’re marrying Urs Buhler!’ she gasped on hearing the news, ‘but I thought he was with that Tamara bitch.’ Karen hated, and I mean hated Tamara. She knew her sort. The bitchy sort that thought they could do anything and get away with it. Because she was blonde, fake blonde and beautiful and thought the sun rose and set in her own arse. She was that up herself.
‘Tamara, died. In a…car crash.’ Esther told her. So far they had managed to keep the news of Tamara’s death out of the papers and news. But it wouldn’t stay that way for long. IL DIVO were very popular and so had fans everywhere. It was just a matter of time before someone, somewhere leaked the news. Not that many fans would be shedding tears for Tamara. She was hardly the most popular partner that they had. In fact Joy, who had been the only partner of a member had been the most popular. And that had wounded Tamara. Wounded her beyond words. Oh well. Never mind. Not now anyway.
‘Oh wow. I mean…oh no.’ Karen gasped, ‘hang on…your boss.’ she then mumbled.
‘Is Urs.’ Ether sighed. Fara nodded her confirmation.
‘You should have told me!’ Karen scowled her friend.
‘Sorry..’ Esther apologised.
‘Then again…I’m dating a friend of Urs’.’ Karen then confessed.
‘Who?’ Fara asked, interested to know. She crossed her fingers and hoped it wasn’t David. She liked David. After Urs who was madly in love with Esther, even Fara could have seen that one coming, she had seen the way he had reacted around Esther after she had had her accident. Anyway, after Urs, David was Fara’s second favourite member of IL DIVO.
‘Seb.’ Karen smiled.
‘No!’ Ether gasped.
‘Yep.’ she agreed, beaming.
‘You, and Sebastien Izambard…’
‘He…surprised me.’ Karen confessed. And he had. Surprisingly so.
‘He must have done.’ Esther nodded.
‘So, Esther my friend, getting married.’ Karen smiled, ‘to Urs Buhler.’
‘He’s….in shock. I didn’t want to…to disappoint him.’ Esther shrugged.
‘So you accepted his proposal.’ Karen nodded.
‘Well…yes.’ Esther sighed.
‘Is this the right thing to do?’ Fara asked.
‘I…I don’t know.’ Esther sighed again.
‘Oh mate. Tell us?’ Karen asked.
‘We…kind of slept together..’
Karen and Fara both gasped in surprise.
‘What was he like…??’ Karen asked.
‘Err..’ Esther mumbled.
‘Honey?’ Fara asked.
‘Oh on. He wasn’t really crap was he?’ Karen asked.
‘No…no…’
‘You didn’t orgasm?’ Karen asked again.
‘No…I mean…I did. Twice.’ Esther nodded.
‘Twice. Wow.’ Karen nodded, ‘go on?’
‘Err…up until we, I mean Urs and I…I hadn’t…ever.’ Esther admitted.
‘Oh. Wow.’ Fara gasped.
‘And…and.’ Ether then carried on, ‘after we’d…slept together and he found out I’d never…before. He asked me. To marry him.’
‘He thinks you’re pregnant. Yes?’ Fara asked.
‘Yes.’ Ether nodded.
‘Which, you can’t possible be.’ Karen realised. They both knew that Esther couldn’t have children. That her condition made it almost impossible, if not completely, to get pregnant, at least without serious help or a miracle.
‘We didn’t use protection. And he thinks I’m…but I’m not. Because I can’t.’ Ether sighed. The fact that she would never have a child hurt Esther deeply. Both Karen and Fara knew, if given the chance, that she would make such a wonderful mum. The best she could ever be because Esther knew just how precious having a child was. How difficult it was. To get pregnant. To carry a child. It was something she would have given anything, anything to be able to experience at least once in her life. But, it was to never to be. At least not without a miracle.
‘You should tell him.’ Karen decided.
‘I will…I mean, I should..’ Ether agreed, ‘but he seems so happy. So…so alive.’
‘Then do tell him. But don’t tell him, just yet.’ Fara smiled.
‘OK. OK.’ Esther agreed, nodding.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:44 am

16.

The next morning, Urs surprised Esther by saying, well a surprising thing.
‘I’ve been thinking, and I realise, that we need to either move house or rooms.’ he smiled at her over the breakfast table.
They had continued sleeping together. But in Esther’s room.
‘What, do you mean?’ she asked, while feeding Leo.
‘Either, you move your stuff into my room…’
‘Yours and Tamara’s room you mean.’ Esther sadly interrupted.
‘No, I mean my room. We slept in separate rooms.’ Urs continued, correcting and surprising her.
‘Eh?’ she gasped.
‘Tamara and I…haven’t have…I mean, we hadn’t had sex, since she had been seven months pregnant. Maybe more.’ Urs told her.
‘Oh. OK. I hadn’t guessed that..’ Esther mumbled.
‘Hadn’t you guessed? Considering the amount of times you and I have slept together.’ he winked at her.
They had done it almost constantly. Urs couldn’t get enough of Esther and she certainly hadn’t objected to his affections, or to his advancements. She was like a drug and he was addicted to her. He would make love to her continuously. Day or night. Esther’s job was now looking after Leo in between Urs and her making love. Having sex. She had never known making love, having sex, could be so interesting. So…so tiring. So….so amazing. Urs was sex on legs and he wanted Esther and only Esther. She certainly wasn’t complaining. Not only was she no longer a virgin but now she was also learning everything there was to know about making love. Having sex. Different positions. Outfits that did it for Urs. Although it wasn’t the outfit but Ether herself he found incredibly sexy. He wanted her every moment of every day.
‘So, I think we should move rooms.’ he smiled.
‘But I need to be near Leo…’
‘Then that’s why I think we need a new home. Somewhere…’
‘Smaller?’ Esther asked.
‘Yes. Smaller. If you like.’ Urs agreed, well. Esther had one thing going for her. Well, she had a lot of things going for her. But the fact that she was money conscious helped Urs a lot in him loving her. She cared about spending money. About what money they had. Unlike Tamara who loved to spend money like it was going out of fashion. ‘Plus.’ he then carried on, smiling ‘somewhere we can have Leo closer, but also.’ he winked, ‘somewhere with plenty of rooms for extra children.’ he smiled.
‘Err…that won’t be needed.’ Esther sadly sighed.
‘Eh? Why not?’ he asked, sounding surprised at this.
‘I…I can’t have children.’
‘Oh. OK.’ given chance, Urs would soon change her mind he thought to himself.
‘Not ever.’ she then told him.
‘Not even one little chance?’ he asked, trying.
‘Not without a painful operation, no.’ she sighed, ‘I suppose this means we won’t….’
‘Oh no. No. We are getting married.’
‘But I thought..’ she mumbled in surprise.
‘I’m still marring you Esther.’ Urs confirmed.
‘I thought…’ she tried again.
‘What? That I was only marrying you because you might be pregnant?’ he asked.
Esther nodded.
‘No Esther. I’m marrying you because..’
‘You need a new mother for Leo?’ she asked.
‘God. No. No.’ he smiled, ‘but for the age old reason.’
‘Which is?’ she asked for confirmation.
‘I love you Esther.’ he smiled.
‘You…right. OK.’ she nodded.
‘I’ve surprised you.’ he realised.
‘Well….yes.’ she nodded again.
Urs smiled, ‘I’m sure you’ll get used to the idea. Eventually.’ he paused, ‘so, we’re still marrying.’ he confirmed.
‘OK.’ she mumbled.
‘Next week.’
‘Eh? But I thought Tamara’s funeral was next week…’
‘It is.’ he confirmed.
‘We can’t….not next week…’
‘We can Esther. And we are.’
‘Err…OK.’ she relented.
‘Tamara is dead. And I…and I intend to get on with my life.’ he told her.
‘OK. OK.’ Esther nodded in agreement.

Urs quickly arranged the wedding. He wanted everything to be perfect and so made sure it was. All Esther needed to do was pick a new house, which didn’t take at all long, and to find herself a wedding dress. Urs insisted on Esther wearing a dress and a white one at that. So she asked Karen to do the honours. Not knowing that Tamara had wanted her to make her wedding dress for her.
‘I’d be delighted!’ Karen exclaimed, ‘I’ve just the perfect dress!’
‘Nothing over the top.’ Esther warned.
‘Oh no. No. It’ll be…perfect.’ Karen soothed.
‘OK…’
‘Trust me. Trust me.’ Karen hugged her.
Karen had already designed Esther’s wedding dress. As soon as she had announced the wedding the idea had come to Karen. It would be perfect. Perfect. It was the sort of wedding dress Karen herself would have love to have worn, should she ever be getting married. Which she knew she never would.

Esther took Leo to look around three houses. In the end, the house Esther, with Leo’s help, picked was the smallest one she could find. It had, as promised, by what she and Urs had agreed what they wanted, four bedrooms, a study, large lounged area, and two garages. Urs had asked for the garages so he could store his motorbikes in one and turn the other one into a studio for his guitars and music equipment he had.
Esther showed Urs the house details on the one she had chosen. It was situated near to where Carlos loved while in England with Joy.
He looked the details over, before declaring, ‘Its perfect. Like my wonderful fiancée.’ he gazed at Esther. His hand stroking her face as he spoke to her.
‘Oh? And who is your…?’
‘You are.’ he kissed her.
‘Oh.’ she exclaimed. She hadn’t got used to being called that yet. Urs fiancée. It sounded like that should be someone else. Someone who loved him.
‘I love you Esther.’
‘I…I…’
‘Its OK. I understand.’ he nodded as Leo gurgled at them from his baby bouncer.
‘Can I ask you something?’ Esther then nervously asked.
‘Sure.’ he nodded.
‘When we marry…can I still look after Leo, by myself?’
‘Of course you can. I would never stop you from doing that. I know you love Leo.’
‘I do, yes.’ she agreed, nodding.
‘I can see it, when you look at him.’
‘Leo, is easy to love.’
‘Unlike his father…’ Urs sighed.
‘No Urs, I don’t mean…I didn’t mean…’
‘Its OK Esther. Relax. Its fine.’
‘Its just that I guess…’
‘Hey. Relax.’ he soothed, ‘you don’t have to tell me. Really. Its OK. I understand. I do.’ he smiled at her. Only his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. He looked sad. Disappointed. Heartbroken almost. And there was nothing Esther or he could do about it. He loved Esther. Only she didn’t love him. Yet.
‘Err…OK.’ she smiled back, not seeing the sadness behind her fiancés sad eyes.

A few days later it was Tamara’s funeral. It wasn’t a huge turn out. No body, it seemed, liked her. At all. Tamara hadn’t been great at making or keeping friends. She had more enemies then friends. And even they couldn’t be bothered to turn out to see her buried. It was just Urs, with Leo and Esther. Seb and Karen. David and Fara, tenderly holding hands. Carlos and Joy. Oh, and one surprised guest, if you could call them that. Valeria. Urs’ ex-girlfriend.
‘I wanted to make completely sure.’ she told Urs, ‘that she is dead.’ she stood, staring at the coffin in the ground. Making sure. She had heard the news and wanted to see for herself that the woman who had broken her heart all those years or so it seemed ago was really and truly dead. Valeria had been glad to hear the news. She had actually laughed out loud and had done a dance on hearing it. Not the way to behave. But then again Tamara had been a complete bitch to Valeria and she just wanted to get her own back. And Tamara was dead. So it wasn’t like she was doing it to be hurtful or cruel.
‘Its…nice to see you again.’ Urs fondly told her.
‘And you Urs. And you.’ she agreed.
Esther looked at Valeria. And stared. Valeria was rather stunning looking. Long black curly hair. Piercing brown eyes. She oozed warmth and kindness. Dressed in the latest fashions. She looked like she could be a model but Esther knew she wasn’t. Valeria had been, and probably still was a violinist with a French orchestra.
‘This.’ Urs proudly introduced. ‘Is Esther.’
‘Pleased to meet you Esther.’ Valeria shook her hand and smiled.
‘And…you.’ Esther nervously agreed.
‘You’re not like her.’
‘Oh? Good, or bad?’ Esther asked.
‘Good. Definitely good.’ Valeria smiled kindly.
‘Valeria…’ Urs then said, ‘did Tamara ever…help us to, well… break up?’ he ended on a sigh.
‘Now he realises!’ Valeria exclaimed, holding her hands up.
‘She…’ Urs mumbled.
‘I’ll tell you.’ Valeria said, ‘when Tamara started working for you, it seemed as though she went out of her way, to be nice to me. A little too nice. She kept, asking me questions. About your and my relationship. I guess, looking back, she was gaining information.’
‘She was there…with a shoulder to cry on, when you and I…’ Urs mumbled.
‘Which, she arranged.’ Valeria told him.
‘Eh?’ he blinked at his ex-girlfriend.
‘Oh Urs. Open your eyes. She helped us, more than helped us, to break up. She arranged it all. Every last detail.’
‘I mean, I knew she was capable of doing something..’
‘Tamara, was a vindictive, nasty bitch. She saw what, or in this case who she wanted, and moved in.’
‘Me.’ Urs sighed in realisation.
‘You got it.’ his ex, the lovely Valeria also sighed.
‘Sorry…’ he then apologised.
‘Its OK Urs. I got over it.’
‘But still…’ he tried.
‘Just promise me one thing.’ Valeria smiled at Esther.
‘Which is?’ Urs asked, holding Esther’s hand.
‘Don’t regret knowing Tamara. But forget her. Move on. Make yourself and this lovely girl here.’ Valeria indicated Esther, ‘happy. Or, or she would have won. Plus, I’ll come and sort you out.’ she warned, smiling about the last part.
Esther smiled too at this. She liked Valeria and it seemed now Valeria liked her too.
‘OK.’ Urs smiled at this advice, ‘Esther and I…are getting married.’ he then told Valeria, feeling that she should learn this and learn it from him.
‘Congratulations.’ she nodded at the news.
‘I once wanted to..’ Urs then told her.
‘I know Urs. I know. I had kind of guessed.’
‘If Tamara hadn’t…got in the way.’ he shrugged.
‘But she did and I’m glad. I loved you Urs. But it would have never worked out. You know that. I know that. Now.’
‘But…’ Urs tried.
‘No Urs. No buts.’ Valeria corrected him.
‘So I should never…’ he mumbled.
‘Oh no. No. You should. Certainly to Esther here.’
‘Would, would you like to…to come to our wedding?’ Esther then heard herself asking this lovely woman in front of her and Urs.
‘You know, I would love to come.’ Valeria nodded and smiled.
‘OK. Great. Is that….is that OK with you Urs?’ Esther then asked her fiancé.
‘Its fine. I’d love for Valeria to come.’ Urs nodded, smiling.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:44 am

17.

Now it was finally Urs and Esther’s wedding day. A few days before they had moved house into the new, smaller place. Esther had personally packed up their stuff, which they had wanted to take with them to the new house and had unpacked it. Or at least most of it, at the other end. Esther also wanted to decorate their new home herself. She loved painting. Stripping walls. Urs had thought she was crazy at first. Then he had realised he enjoyed Esther being this way. He was looking forward to getting his hands dirty. To getting involved in his own home. Tamara had never allowed that. She had hated Urs wanting to do anything himself. Telling him constantly, ‘We are rich enough to have people to do it all for us darling!’ laughing all the while. Tamara was under the impression that money meant power. Who cared about being happy and doing things yourself when you had money so could employ someone to do it all for you.
Urs liked getting dirty. Working for himself. It gave him a complete sense of achievement that he couldn’t get anywhere else. He knew why he loved Esther. She was as different as you could get from Tamara. She was a breath of fresh air.

Esther was nervous. She stood, looking at her reflection. She was wearing her wedding dress. Looking…OK even to her own eyes.
‘Honey, you look spectacular.’ Karen whistled on seeing her creation being worn by the right woman.
‘Must be your design.’ Esther told her, blushing slightly at her friends compliment.
‘Yeah, but I still need a great model to carry it of in.’ Karen whistled again.
‘Thanks…’ Esther blushed again.
‘Oh! Wow!’ swooned Joy, coming into the room, carrying the pageboy, also known as a sleeping Leo.
‘I look OK then…’
‘You look…no wonder Urs loves you!’ Joy hugged her.
Since Tamara had died Esther and Joy had finally met and now got on like a house on fire. They had so much in common. Esther had even told Joy about Tamara breaking up Urs and Valeria.
‘I knew it!’ Joy exclaimed, ‘I did have my suspicions.’
‘Do you think I should be marrying Urs?’ Esther then nervously asked after hearing that comment.
‘Why wouldn’t you want to?’ Joy asked.
‘Well, because….I’m not Tamara.’
‘And thank god you’re not.’ Joy hugged her, ‘now, come on, wouldn’t want to keep Urs waiting much longer.’
‘OK…’ Esther nervously smiled. She then walked, on unsteady, shaking legs to the car which would drive them to the church. She sat, looking out the window, watching the world go by. Thinking about what she was doing. Sure she liked Urs. But loved him? She didn’t know. She wasn’t sure what she felt. Was she doing the right thing? Leading Urs on almost. OK, he knew she didn’t exactly love him, but was that enough? Could they at least last a lifetime together? She hoped so. She did know one thing. She loved Leo. She wanted to be able to look after him forever more. Was that enough? Could that be enough? She hoped so.

Esther walked down the aisle on Carlos’ arm. She hadn’t actually told her parents about the marriage because she feared they would only think she was marrying Urs because of Leo. Which, in a way, was the reason. David was Urs’ best man. Karen was chief bridesmaid. Fara carried the pageboy, Leo, in her arms. He was also the ring bearer. Urs had surprised Esther by wanting to wear a wedding ring. It had been the only thing she had been allowed to buy herself. It wasn’t flashy. A simple ring. In silver. Although Urs had bought Esther a platinum wedding ring she couldn’t afford to buy him the same. Anyway, he had told her platinum and silver did look similar and it was the thought that counted, not the cost. Urs was pleased that Esther didn’t seem to care about spending money. She preferred to save it. Wanted to buy cheaper. She was a breath of fresh air after the money grabbing, vindictive bitch that had been Tamara.
Urs looked so sexy in his morning suit. His tie, Esther noticed, matched the delicate flowers that Karen had woven into her dress. They were blue. Urs had let his hair go curly. Esther loved it curly and long. It curled on his collar. Making him look extra sexy. His suit fitted him almost like a second skin. She had to suppress a groan of desire on seeing him. She might not be in love with him but she certainly wanted him. She ached for him. It was a completely new feeling but one she most certainly liked.
They held hands and gazed into each others eyes as they said their vows. It was rather romantic. Esther felt her heart tighten when after placing the ring onto her finger, Urs whispered into her ear, ‘I love you Esther.’
She so wanted to say it back but felt scared for some reason. So she just smiled and nodded.
When Urs and she kissed someone wolf whistled at them.
‘Whey-hey!’ Seb laughed then winked at Karen, making her blush. They were dating now. It seemed strange to see Seb without Karen by his side. She seemed to make him act more sensible everyone was noticing. She was definitely a calming influence on him.

They had a short reception then it was time for the wedding night.
It was arranged that Fara and David were to look after Leo for two nights. They had met a day before Tamara’s funeral and had got on wonderfully well ever since. Esther could feel another wedding coming from them soon.
For some reason being alone with her new husband scared Esther a little.
‘Its OK.’ he told her once they were alone in the honeymoon suite of the hotel where they had held the reception, ‘I won’t hurt you. I would never hurt you.’
‘I know. I do.’ she nodded, looking around the room. Trying not to pay too much attention to the large bed the hotel had supplied for them.
‘Then relax.’
‘I can’t…’
‘We don’t have to do anything tonight if you don’t want to.’ Urs tried reassuring her.
‘Its not that. I mean, I do, its just that…’
‘What is it then? Tell me?’ Urs asked, cupping her face in his hands.
‘I guess, I miss Leo.’ she shrugged. It had been the first time, since Esther had started working for Urs and Tamara that she had left him. It felt weird. Strange. Not to have him around. Not to hear him gurgling in the background. Not to be able to reach out and know he was close by. She missed him. She loved him and she couldn’t be without him. Hell, she didn’t want to be without Leo. Not now. Not ever. She loved him. At least she loved a part of Urs. Even if it was the part that was also attached to Tamara. Oh well.
‘I do too.’ Urs admitted, kissing her, ‘but he’ll be OK. Fara knows what to do.’
‘I know…’
‘Plus, she has my mobile number.’ he then told her.
‘OK.’ she nodded, ‘OK.’
‘So?’ he asked, looking at her.
‘Make love to me Urs?’ Esther asked him, smiling.
Urs smiled back then kissed her again. She reached up and touched his hair, kissing him back. She opened her mouth and allowed his tongue inside. She could feel herself start to turn to jelly. Then she felt his fingers on her dress. Unzipping it. He pulled his mouth away. ‘You are beautiful.’ he whispered as the wedding dress slide from her body. Dressed only now in matching bra and knickers, stockings and suspenders, Urs gazed. He felt himself growing hard. He groaned and touched a breast. Esther’s nipple instantly hardened under his touch.
‘Now you.’ she asked.
Urs shrugged the jacket from his shoulders. He wrenched his tie off. Before he could start to work on the buttons of his shirt, Esther stopped him. With slightly trembling fingers she undid it. Her palms touched his skin. Stroking the hair and muscle underneath. She lent forward and placed a simple kiss on the middle of his chest.
‘Esther…’ he groaned.
‘Let me, please?’ she asked.
He nodded.
She then moved her hands to the front of his trousers. She quickly undid the belt, zip and buckle. Pushing his trousers down she knelt at his feet. In only his underpants and socks Urs was a beautiful sight to see. He would make a perfect model she thought noticing his erection. She pulled his underpants down his legs and gasped. God. He was huge. She smiled to herself. Wondering how he would fit. Then slowly but surely took him into her mouth. Esther had never given a man a blowjob before but she wanted to try. She wanted to make him happy. She wanted to know what it felt like. Making a man come in her mouth. So she wanted to try. At least for the experience. She had no idea what to do but she had read some books on the subject. She gently licked and sucked at him. Imagining all the time that he was an ice cream or a banana. Her hands cupping and gently squeezing his balls. She had to do something with them. And though that touching his balls would make him happy. From the noises Urs was making she guessed he liked it. That she was doing the right thing. But before he would come he pulled himself free.
‘Urs?’ she looked up at him, blinking with worry. What had she done wrong she wondered? Had she done something wrong?
‘Not there.’ he helped her to her feet.
‘Oh?’ she asked. Wondering where then. Wondering what she had done wrong.
But he cut her question of with his mouth. Kissing her. Making her realise, without words, where he wanted to come. Inside her. But inside her vagina. Not her mouth. He then placed kisses from her mouth down to her neck to her breasts. He undid her bra then cupped her breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth. Esther let out a groan and clutched at his head. ‘Oh Urs…’ she muttered in pure ecstasy.
Urs licked and suckled at one nipple then the other. He then moved down her body. Taking each stocking off slowly. Rolling it carefully down her leg then doing the other. He unsnapped and dispensed with her suspender belt then gently peeled her soaking wet knickers away.
‘Lay down.’ he demanded in a gruff voice.
Esther did as she was told. Laying down on the bed.
Urs pulled her forward, so her bottom was almost hanging of the bed. He then knelt down between her legs, cupped her bottom and worshiped her with his mouth and tongue.
Esther screamed out her orgasm. It was so intense. Then she started to groan again as Urs slid himself easily inside her welcoming body.
It didn’t take either of them long. They soon were coming. Almost together. It had been an excellent wedding night.
Urs and Esther snuggled up together and slept.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:46 am

18.

As Urs and Esther were enjoying their honeymoon, Fara and David got on wonderfully well. David helped Fara a great deal with looking after Leo. He would make an excellent father Fara noticed as she watched him feed Leo. He even offered to change his nappy too. Not many men Fara had met would go that far. But David did. And he did it because he enjoyed looking after Leo and not just to impress Fara, which, in a way, did impress her.
‘I bet now Urs has married Esther, Leo will be getting a baby brother or sister soon.’ David laughed on night.
‘I wish.’ Fara sighed at this.
‘Oh?’
‘Esther, can’t have children. Or rather, she could. But it would take either a miracle or a rather painful operation.’ she told her friends secret.
‘Does Urs know this?’ David immediately asked.
‘Yes.’ she nodded, ‘Esther told him. But he doesn’t care.’
‘Suppose, that’s to do with the fact that Urs didn’t really want to be a father in the first place. To Leo.’ David provided.
‘Tamara trapped him then.’ Fara realised, sadly.
‘Yes. She did.’ he nodded, ‘at the precise moment he was preparing to leave her. For another woman.’
‘Perfect timing then. For her. If not for poor Urs.’
‘Don’t you want to know who the woman was?’ David then asked.
‘I guess, it was someone he let get away. Which is sad. In a way.’
‘She turned up again though.’
‘But he married Esther who is obviously the wrong woman…’
‘Or, completely the right woman.’ David corrected, smiling.
‘Eh?’ Fara blinked in surprise.
‘It was Esther.’
‘But…’
‘Urs, saw Esther, at a concert.’
‘The one Esther and Karen went to…’ Fara realised. It had been the first and only time Esther had been persuaded to go out in such a long time. The girl had been a workaholic. Still was from what Fara had seen when she had come to help out after Esther had had her injury. That injury hadn’t stopped her from doing things. Not everything though. Nor Urs or Fara would let her do everything but certainly as much as she could possibly do while stuck in a wheelchair unable to walk anywhere.
‘Urs saw Esther, and knew. That she was his ‘’the one.’’’ David smiled fondly at the memory.
‘Only Tamara managed to temporarily stop his plans.’
‘Yep.’ nodded David sadly.
‘Did Tamara know? That Esther had been that important to Urs?’
‘Do you really think she would have got the job?’ David asked.
‘You know, in a perverse way I think Tamara would have let Ether have the job had she had known. Just so she could have ‘’rubbed’’ it in who had Urs.’ Fara sadly sighed.
‘You’ve certainly got the measure of Tamara.’ David realised.
‘I’ve met her type before. Nasty. Spiteful. Vindictive bitches. Only out for what they can get. Not carrying who they hurt along the way.’
‘Sounds like Tamara alright to me.’ David nodded.
‘Esther, isn’t like that.’ she then felt the need to reassure him.
‘I know. Urs even knows that.’
‘But if he ever hurts her…’ Fara warned.
‘I’ll personally help you beat him to a pulp.’ David smiled.
‘Thank you.’ Fara returned the smile.

It was now several weeks later. Since Urs and Esther had been back from their honeymoon he had seemed distant in a way. Like he was suddenly holding himself back from her. Or hiding something rather important.
Esther kept feeling sick. At first she thought she was coming down with a bug. Until it continued. She, somehow, managed to hide her sickness from Urs. It was an easy thing to do. As I mentioned before he was distracted. Like something was bothering him but try as she might to ask him, Urs refused to tell her.
Saying, ‘Nothing is wrong.’ every time she tried probing.
She decided to pluck up the courage and do something she had a feeling deep down inside would be a complete waste of time. Take a pregnancy test. What with her condition she doubted anything would come of it. But she was to be surprised.
Unable to trust her own eyes, Esther bought and then took three more tests. Each came up with the same result. Positive. Somehow, she was pregnant. It had to be a miracle. OK, there was one chance in a thousand to get pregnant. But the chance was so low it should have been virtually impossible. Except, it wasn’t. Esther held the proof in her hand. All 4 of them. Positive. She was pregnant. To be sure, and before telling Urs the news, she made an appointment with her doctor to make 100% certain. Her doctor checked her all over then did an ultrasound. Yep. Esther was pregnant. Nearly three months pregnant. She had the proof. It must have happened the first time she and Urs had slept with. The night Tamara had died. She had heard the heartbeat. Loud and strong. And now held in her hands the photograph of her baby’s first ever scan. It really was a miracle. Not knowing how to tell Urs the amazing news of her pregnancy, Esther bought a card reading, ‘Congratulations on becoming a father.’ slipped the scan photo inside, wrote on it and addressed it simply to Urs.
She then walked home. Feeling happy. Contented.
Only to be greeted by a surprise. But not a very nice one. An unwelcome one.
Esther walked into their new home only to hear at first then discover Urs arguing with someone.
Someone who was supposed to be dead.
Tamara.
Looking, surprisingly well for someone who was meant to be dead. Lying in a coffin somewhere, buried underground.
She looked like she had been on a holiday, what with her glowing tan and freshly bleached blonde hair. Her make up perfect. Sparkling.
Urs was holding in his arms a crying Leo. Rocking him too and fro like Esther normally did when Leo cried and nothing, nothing else worked. His baby bouncer at Urs’ feet. Tamara was glaring daggers at him. She looked like she wanted to kill him.
‘What…are you doing here?’ Ether mumbled in surprise.
‘Getting what I deserve.’ Tamara snapped.
‘But you’re…dead.’ Esther sank down into a nearby chair. She clutched at her stomach protectively.
‘She faked her own death.’ Urs supplied the information.
‘But….but why?’ Esther muttered in shock.
‘I said I’d get him back. And I have.’ Tamara crackled.
‘I knew you weren’t dead.’ Urs spat at her.
‘Yeah. Well. Its so easy to fake an accident.’ she laughed.
‘But someone died…’ Esther sadly pointed out.
‘Yeah, and?’
‘You killed someone else…’ Esther cried.
‘No I didn’t. Its not my fault the police are pathetically stupid. All it took, was to plant one of my credit cards. So easy. To easy peasy.’ Tamara explained, all the while laughing as if it were one big joke.
‘You, split Valeria and I up.’ Urs then accused her.
‘Yeah, and?’ she didn’t deny it. In fact she just laughed.
‘Why?’ he stupidly asked.
‘Because I wanted you. Pathetic little you. And I wanted you.’
‘We were happy. Valeria and I.’
‘Yeah. Whatever.’ she snapped, dismissing the idea with a wave of her hand.
‘Happy.’ he repeated.
‘I wanted you. And I got you!’ Tamara laughed, ‘you were such a pushover.’ she continued, ‘a little bit of attention. A blowjob. Oh, how easy it was!’ she cackled, drawing a blood red fingernail slowly down his face. Urs visibly shivered. He so hated this woman. What the hell had he ever seen in her? He must have been blind. It had taken to seeing, to meeting Esther for him to open his eyes and to see for the very first time what he had been missing all this time.
‘You are a bitch.’ Urs snapped at her. Telling her the most obvious thing. Of course she was a bitch. She already knew that. She certainly didn’t need confirmation of that tiny little fact.
‘Yeah? And?’ she snapped back. She was enjoying all this. Ruining peoples lives. Esther could tell from the look on her face. It was like she had planned all this.
‘You came back now, to ruin me.’
‘In more ways than one.’ she happily agreed.
‘I was happy.’ Urs cried out.
‘Ha! You’re an idiot. I can’t believe you married someone like… like her!’ Tamara spat, glaring daggers at a frightened Esther.
‘I love Esther!’
‘What happened? didn’t the woman you want, want you too?’ Tamara cruelly laughed.
‘Esther, is the woman.’ Urs made the fatal mistake of saying.
‘HA! Her? Are you blind?’ Tamara demanded.
‘No. For the first time I can see.’
‘HA!’ Tamara stormed over to where Esther was sitting. She pulled her to her feet, by grabbing hold of her hair.
‘Ow…’ Esther cried.
‘Let her go.’ Urs demanded, placing Leo in his baby bouncer which was on the floor.
‘Divorce her and I’ll let her live.’ Tamara warned.
‘Let her go.’ Urs demanded again, raising a fist.
‘Hit me, and I’ll sue you!’ Tamara spat.
‘I don’t bloody well care anymore.’ Urs reached out and slapped Tamara.
Hard. Cross the face. She immediately let go of Esther’s hair and started clawing at his face.
‘You bastard. You bastard.’ she spat, scratching him.
Clawing him. Marking him. Making him bleed.
Urs grabbed hold of her wrists, ‘You touch me again and you’ll never see another penny of my money.’ he warned, barking at her.
‘And I’ll take Leonardo away from you!’ she spat back.
‘Try it, and see.’ he barked.
‘Bastard! Bastard!’ Tamara shouted before storming away.
Banging the door loudly behind her as she went.
Urs gathered up a crying Leo then pulled Esther into his arms.
‘Ssshhh..’ he told them both. Esther was also crying.
Trembling. Shaking. ‘Hey, hey…its alright. She’s gone.’
‘But…but she’….she’ll be back…’ Esther cried.
‘Not if I can help it.’ Urs soothed.
‘I…I thought she was…she was….dead….’
‘So did I. So did I.’ Urs agreed. ‘Pity she isn’t.’ he muttered.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 12:46 am

19.

Urs, I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Esther kept rehearsing over and over and over again in her head. But, bringing herself to say the actual words, words she thought she would never utter out loud let alone experience them, out loud was more scarier than she thought it would be.
After Tamara had left that night before it had taken Esther a while to stop herself from trembling in fright. Then it didn’t seem appropriate for her to voice the words. After she had had to attend to Urs’ wounds Tamara had caused him. The cuts and bruises to his face. She had done a brilliant job. He looked a complete mess after she had gone. It had taken a lot of care and attention to sort his face out to something resembling normalness. Now it didn’t seem at all important for her to tell him. So she didn’t. Plus, now all of a sudden Esther was uncertain how he would take the news. Tamara sneaking back into their life hadn’t helped. Before she had been sure that he would have been a little shocked but eventually happy. After all he did want other children. But now, with Tamara’s reappearance everything, everything had changed.
She had to hide the scan photograph now. Not that she wanted to. Until she felt more secure about how he would take the news. She only hoped he liked it. After all she had said she couldn’t have children. Which, she had believed. Until it had been proven otherwise. Esther only hoped Urs wouldn’t start accusing her. Of getting pregnant by ‘’design’’ in order to trap him. Like Tamara had tried to do. Although they were married it would still be possible. For him to think that. That she had trapped him. Not that Esther would do a thing like that. She wasn’t like that. Could never be like that. She wasn’t Tamara. Could never be Tamara. Would never want to be anything like Tamara. Esther only hoped Urs knew the difference. So she sadly hid the one thing she was proud about. Her surprise pregnancy. And all because she was scared. Scared of her own husband and how he would react to it. The news.
That night, although Urs and Esther slept in the same bed, they didn’t touch or have sex. It had been the first time that had happened since they had got married almost three months ago now. Esther found it hard to sleep not being held or touched in anyway by Urs. By her husband. She supposed now that was the reason he had been off with her. He must have already known about Tamara. About her faking her own death before today. Before she had shown up in the flesh. Esther so wanted to talk to him. About Tamara. About the pregnancy. About everything but didn’t know where to start. How to start. So she did the one thing she could do. She kept quiet. Kept her thoughts and her feelings, to herself.

It wasn’t until the next morning that Esther and Urs got around to talking about Tamara’s surprise reappearance in their lives. Urs bought her up. It was at the breakfast table. Esther sat feeding Leo. She was spoon feeding him. Leo sat in his baby bouncer, he didn’t like his highchair, gurgling at Esther and Urs thought mouthfuls of food.
‘I…I knew Tamara was alive, before she turned up last night.’ Urs admitted.
‘That’s why you were…distant with me.’ Esther mumbled in reply, realising.
‘Yes. Sorry.’ he apologised.
‘You should have told me….you should have warned me…’
‘I couldn’t, I mean, I didn’t know how to. You seemed so happy. I…I guess I didn’t want to upset you.’ he sighed.
‘I should still have been told…’ that had hardly worked. In protecting her, Esther had still been upset at the realisation of it all.
‘I know. Sorry.’ he sighed again.
‘How did you…find out?’ Esther then asked.
‘Her credit card bill.’
‘Her credit card bill.’ she repeated.
‘One was still in action. I thought it was strange. So I checked it out. I…I found Tamara.’ he had still being paying her bills Esther realised. Even after he had found that she was alive. He had still being paying for her. But why? Why would he do such a thing? Sure she was the mother of Leo, but paying for her?
‘And…and when did you…discover this information?’
‘About a week…after our wedding.’
‘Oh Urs.’ Esther sighed. He had known. All this time. That Tamara hadn’t been dead. All this time and he hadn’t said anything. Not one word. Nothing. Keeping it secret. And what for? Did he still love her? Want to be with her? Desire her?
‘I’m sorry.’ Urs apologised again.
‘You still….love her?’ she carefully asked. Fearing the worse. Not wanting and yet at the same time still wanting to know the reason. The answer.
‘God. No. No.’ Urs laughed.
‘What then…?’
‘I’m…I was scared.’
‘For?’
‘For you.’ he simply told her, his eyes staring right into hers.
‘Meaning?’
‘How Tamara would react. When she found out that not only was I married. But married to you.’
‘Because I was once…still am, your nanny.’ Esther sighed.
‘No. Not because of that. Never because of that.’
‘What then?’ she asked.
‘Because she…Tamara. She knew I was in love with someone else when I was still with her.’
‘Who?’
‘You Esther.’
‘Oh…’
‘She knew there was someone.’
‘It didn’t have to be me.’ Esther pointed out.
‘I never made it a secret. That there was someone.’
‘Still.’
‘Anyway, I found Tamara.’
‘Someone is buried, under her name.’ Esther then realised. Someone had still died in that car crash. Someone had still burned to death. Some poor soul. Had she, Tamara, killed that person?
‘Yes.’ Urs agreed, nodding.
‘Who?’
‘Some homeless woman apparently.’
‘So. Tamara faked her own death. Just to get back at you.’
‘Yes.’ Urs sighed.
‘That, is sick.’ Esther pointed out.
‘I know.’ he agreed.
‘Just for revenge.’
‘Yes. For revenge.’ he agreed again.
‘Sick.’ she repeated.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘No. Its OK. I mean, it isn’t your fault, is it?’
‘It feels like it is thought.’ Urs sighed.
‘But it isn’t…’
‘She ruined it.’
‘Only, if you let her.’
‘You mean, if we let her.’ he corrected.
‘I guess so.’
‘Do you want a divorce?’
‘Whatever for?’ Esther asked.
‘Because of Tamara. I would understand.’
‘No.’ she shook her head, ‘I don’t want a divorce. But I do want one thing.’ she asked.
‘Anything.’
‘That from now on, you don’t keep any secrets from me. We’re married. We are supposed to work thought these kinds of things. Together. As a team.’
‘OK. I won’t. Promise.’ he smiled.
‘Good. Good.’ she nodded.
‘Its your turn now.’ he then said.
‘Eh?’
‘Yesterday, when you came home. You looked so happy. Tell me why?’ he asked.
‘You…you won’t like it…’ she mumbled.
‘Try me?’
‘I…I….I’m pregnant.’ she mumbled the words, wringing her hands nervously as she finally spoke the words.
‘Say again?’ he asked.
‘I’m…pregnant.’
‘But I thought…’
‘I know. So did I.’
‘Your condition.’
‘I got it checked. The doctor told me it was…it is a miracle. I had a…a one in a thousand chance.’
‘And it worked.’
‘Obviously so. Sorry.’ Esther then apologised.
‘WOW.’
‘Exactly.’
‘A baby.’
‘Yep.’ she handed him the card with the scan photograph in it.
‘I’m going to be a father.’ he lightly smiled.
‘Yep.’
‘Again.’
‘Yep.’
‘WOW.’ he finally opened the envelope and gasped in surprise.
‘Exactly.’
‘WOW.’ he repeated, staring at the scan photograph lying on the table in front of him.
‘You’re not…angry?’ she suddenly realised.
‘Of course I’m not.’ he looked up at her and smiled.
‘I thought you would be…’
‘Why would I?’ he asked.
‘I’m trapping you…’
‘I don’t see how.’
‘But…’
‘Esther, honey, we’re married. I entered this marriage because I wanted to. Not because I was forced. I love you. I love you.’ he stood up and walked towards her, slowly.
‘Oh Urs…’ Esther sobbed.
‘Come here.’ he pulled her easily into his arms. ‘I love you Esther. I love you.’ he covered her face in kisses, ‘Love me too?’ he then asked.
‘I…I…’
‘Its OK. You don’t have to say the words.’
‘No I mean…I want to….’
‘But you can’t. Its OK.’
‘I….I love you Urs. I love you.’ Esther finally told him, ‘I love you.’
But she still didn’t know if she meant the words. Sure she could finally say them to him, but mean them? That, she didn’t know.
Was that enough? Saying the words but not really meaning it?
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:09 am

20.

Later that day Urs and Esther called a conference. Getting Carlos, Joy, Seb, Karen, David and Fara all together to inform them of Tamara’s surprise reappearance for one thing. They were all sitting together. Like they were all pared up. It looked good. To see all his friends happy and in love. Even Seb had seemed to have met his match in Karen. She seemed just the sort of girl he needed, to tame him.
They all seemed to take the news rather well. All things considering. Especially as it was the last thing they all had been expecting. Tamara. Alive. Not dead. But alive and breathing. Shame that.
‘She’s what?’ gasped Carlos on hearing the news.
‘I knew she wasn’t dead. The bitch.’ Seb offered. Considering he once fancied her. Briefly. My, how times had changed Urs realised looking at his friend.
‘This is so typical of Tamara.’ David exclaimed.
‘But why fake…why pretend to be dead though? That is what I can’t understand.’ muttered an angry Joy.
‘You don’t…feel sorry for her, do you?’ Carlos asked her.
‘God. No.’ Joy laughed, ‘I hate the spiteful bitch.’
‘I feel sorry for her.’ Karen surprised them all by saying.
‘Eh…what?’ her boyfriend, Seb, asked, sounding shocked.
‘I mean she did all that. Faked her own death. And for what? To prove what?’ Karen asked.
‘To get revenge. On me.’ Urs told her.
‘What? By getting out of our life? Letting you move on. Be happy.’ Karen sensibly pointed out.
‘I doubt Tamara thought this all thought very well.’ Carlos realised.
‘Typical blonde.’ Fara smiled.
‘Fake blonde.’ Urs corrected.
‘Even worse!’ David laughed, ‘stupid cow.’
‘She’s planning something. I know it. I can feel it.’ Urs sighed.
‘What? To get custody of Leo?’ Fara asked.
‘No. She’d never win it. She hates Leo.’ sighed Urs. Sad. But true.
‘What? Her own child?’ Joy gasped. I mean, she knew something. But not that.
‘Yes. Her own child.’ Urs agreed.
‘So much for maternal love.’ Joy tutted.
‘Tamara didn’t know how to love. Let alone do maternal love.’ Urs told them.
‘No wonder you’re much happier now with the lovely Esther here.’ Seb winked, making Esther blush.
‘Another thing we’ve got to tell you all. Please, don’t let this piece of information public. At least not until Tamara is dealt with.’ Urs asked them all.
Everyone nodded. Waiting.
‘Go ahead?’ Carlos asked.
‘Esther and I…are going to have our own child.’ Urs proudly announced, showing them all the baby scan and card Esther had presented him with.
‘WOW.’ Joy smiled.
‘Congratulations honey.’ Fara then Karen hugged Esther.
‘It’s a miracle.’ Karen said.
‘It sure is.’ Esther agreed. She then told a confused Joy, Carlos and Seb and David about her condition.
‘It certainly is a miracle.’ David agreed, after hearing the news.
‘So, daddy.’ Seb nudged Urs.
‘Again. Yep.’ he nodded.
‘Not bad going, for someone who never wanted to have children at all.’ Carlos smiled.
‘Yeah. I know. Funny isn’t it?’ Urs agreed smiling, ‘but at least this time I’m looking forward to it. I want it.’
‘Then congratulations mate.’ David hugged Urs.
‘Thanks. Thanks.’ he blushed in reply.
And it was true. This time he was looking forward to it.
This time he planned to enjoy every single second of it.
This time he wanted to go to all the scans. To do the whole mother and father and baby thing. All the antenatal classes. Last time he hadn’t gone with Tamara. Mind you, neither had she. She hadn’t been interested and he hadn’t known about them until Esther had informed him of them.
‘I want to come with you to every lesson. I would like to be there at every step.’ he had told her.
‘I’d like that.’ she had admitted in reply.
‘This time, I want to be in it from the very beginning.’
‘You will be.’ she had promised. It was OK looking after babies. But being pregnant with one. Carrying one inside you was a rather scary thing. Interesting. Weird almost. But scary too. But Esther was looking forward to every step. Every kick. Every scan. Every test. Every lesson. She was even looking forward to getting big. Having constant backache and swollen whatever. It would be a journey. But an interesting journey.
Ever since Urs had found out about Esther being pregnant he had been treating her with a lot of care. Sure he was usually a gentleman around her anyway. Helping her to her seat. Not letting her carry heavy items. But now he was being extra careful. Not letting her use the stairs by herself in case she fell. Helping her down them by holding her hand. Making sure she was wearing comfortable shoes at all times. It was the one thing Tamara had refused to do while pregnant with Leo. Wear comfortable shoes or clothing come to that matter. She had had to wear the latest fashions no matter what. Whereas Esther liked wearing comfortable shoes and clothing. Urs had bought her a whole new wardrobe to fit her expanding tummy. But Esther’s favourite item of clothing was a shirt of Urs’. She wore it almost regularly. It smelt of him even when it had been washed. It reminded her of him. She wore it to feel close to him.
Every morning Urs would wait on Esther. Bringing her food to help stop the morning sickness. Rubbing her feet when the sickness got too much. It seemed to be a great cure to stop it. He would even hold her at night, rubbing her stomach. Whispering to it. He started appreciating Leo more. Doing more stuff with his son. Taking him out for long walks so Esther could catch up on her sleep. Acting exactly like a dotting father to be and a man in love would act.
Esther felt loved and wanted. She felt cherished.
Urs even decorated the new nursery himself. Put up the new cot too. Also by himself. It was something he hadn’t been allowed to do before with Tamara. She had employed someone to do it all. A professional decorator. But now he found joy, complete happiness in being able to do it all himself. Using his hands. Getting dirty. Esther liked watching him do it all. She had tried to help but he wouldn’t let her. He was scared that paint fumes of lifting heavy items could bring on a miscarriage and he didn’t want that to happen. He never wanted that to happen. This baby was a miracle. It was a saviour of Urs’ life. This baby was helping him. To get over the disastrous relationship he had had with Tamara. She had made him miss out on a lot of things. Especially to do with Leo. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again. Not ever.
So, in his own way, he was doing whatever he could to make sure Esther was having and enjoying the best pregnancy she could have ever.
This went on thought out the pregnancy. They were happy. In love. Making a new family. Leo seemed to grow in leaps and bounds too. He was developing so fast. Learning to crawl. And babble. He was now 8 months old and could say almost the words ‘’dadda’’ and something that made Esther cry the first time he said it, ‘Mama.’
‘Oh honey.’ she cried, hugging him, ‘I so wish I was your mama.’
‘You could be.’ Urs, hearing her say this, commented.
‘But I’m not. Tamara is.’
‘We could, well, you, could adopt him.’ Urs suggested.
‘Tamara, would never let me…’
‘She might do.’
‘I’d hardly think that.’ Esther shook her head.
But Urs went ahead. He got his lawyer to send an application to Tamara’s lawyer, asking to let Esther adopt him as she was all but his mother.
‘Adopt him?’ he received back in Tamara’s handwriting, written in red, bright red, it looked like blood. ‘He’s not even YOUR child.’
Urs almost dropped the letter in shock.
He immediately got on the phone to his lawyer, ‘I need a DNA test doing. Tamara is claiming in a letter I received that I’m not Leo’s father. I need proof that I am.’ he told him.
Without question Urs’ lawyer immediately arranged for it to take place. Barely an hour later a medical doctor arrived to take samples from both Urs and Leo.
‘We’ll know the results tomorrow Mr Buhler.’ he informed Urs.
‘Right. Good. Thanks.’ he nodded in response.
‘We don’t need a DNA test to know.’ Esther told him when she found out about Tamara’s hurtful letter, ‘we can already see from just looking. Leo is YOUR son.’
‘I still need proof.’ Urs sighed.
‘Which, by tomorrow we will have.’ she soothed her husband.
‘If he isn’t mine…’
‘Which, he most certainly is.’ she interrupted.
‘….I’d like to know what poor sod she tricked into sleeping with her. To get her pregnant.’ he angrily spat.
Tamara’s words had wounded Urs. Oh how times had changed.
He had gone from not wanting one child to wanting a lot of children. He wanted Leo to be his. He had to be. At least he knew Esther’s child was his. But he wanted Leo too. He liked being Leo’s father. Having him as his son. Caring for him. Looking after him. Urs loved Leo and wouldn’t let anyone either hurt him or take him away. He would fight until the death for his son. For Leo.
_______________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:09 am

21.

It was a nervous few days. Waiting for the DNA results. When Carlos, Joy, Seb, Karen, David and Fara had found out about Tamara’s remark they all couldn’t believe that she could be so cruel. So spiteful about how low she would go just to get back at Urs. She really was a complete bitch.
‘What a complete bitch.’ Seb claimed on hearing the news.
‘She is certainly a nasty piece of work.’ Carlos agreed sadly.
‘It makes me think….’ Urs sighed, ‘could it actually be true?’
‘God. No.’ David exclaimed, ‘she’s lying.’
‘But…it could be true.’ Urs tried.
‘No Urs. No.’ Esther tried reassuring her husband.
God. That felt weird. Calling Urs her husband. She had one hand protectively placed over her pregnant tummy. She was scared. Scared of what else Tamara would do. She still didn’t know Esther was pregnant. Her bump was just beginning to show now and they hadn’t let out the information officially yet and none of IL DIVO’s fans knew to leek the information. Then again, if they did know they wouldn’t have been nasty or cruel. They had already done a poll, on an unofficial IL DIVO website and 90% of them had agreed. Hands down. That they preferred Esther to Tamara any day. That Esther was a lovely girl. She was kind. Caring. Gentle. Whereas Tamara had been extremely nasty every time a fan had bumped into Urs when she had been with him. She had come across as possessive. Staking her claim at every opportunity. Making it known loud and clear that Urs was her personally property. When the fans had found out about Tamara’s ‘’Death’’ they had written that they had been pleased that she was dead. No fan had shed a tear for her. But when it had been let known that Tamara was now alive again several fans had stated that they had wished she really was dead. That they personally would gladly do her in if only they could. She was that unpopular.
‘But knowing Tamara, I wouldn’t put it past her.’ Urs sighed.
‘Leo looks like you. Anyone can see it.’ Carlos tried reassuring his friend. They were at Urs and Esther’s home. Having a get together. Something they had never done when Tamara had been with Urs. She had actually hated him having friends. Even male friends. She had always wanted to be the centre of attention every moment of the day and so had band Urs from having friends around. Having conferences to talk about important things. Like work. Whereas Esther encouraged him to have them. She knew that they were important. The band, group needed to bond and so getting together regularly to tell news helped with that bond. It wasn’t hard to see, to understand why Urs was attracted, in love with Esther. She seemed to know him so well.
‘But aren’t we just seeing what we want to see?’ Urs asked, gazing at his son who was currently being held by David. David was making him laugh. Trying to encourage him to crawl.
‘Mate, although I hate to say it, Tamara wouldn’t have been stupid enough to cheat on you. You were the perfect meal ticket for her.’ Carlos told him. Which, sadly although a hard thing to hear, was oh so true. Urs had been Tamara’s meal ticket. Her ticket to money and lots of it. As much as Urs could make, Tamara could spent it and more. Oh so much, much more.
‘I was too lenient.’ Urs realised.
‘You were miles too soft.’ Carlos agreed.
‘So. Leo mine then eh?’ Urs asked.
‘Oh yes. And, the DNA will prove that.’ Carlos patted his shoulder.
‘I hope so. I really hope so.’ today, hopefully, they would find out. If Leo was Urs’, or not. Everyone was hoping for a positive outlook. For the right result.
‘For someone who didn’t want a child…’ David pointed out.
‘I told Tamara, I said when we first…got together. That I don’t…that I didn’t do marriage or children.’
‘And yet, you married me.’ Esther pointed out. She hadn’t known about Urs not wanting children. Hearing David say those words had hurt her. Wounded her. She was worried. Here she was, pregnant, with his child and let he hadn’t even wanted Leo. Would he want this child? Would he still want her? She didn’t know and was scared.
‘That was long before I met you.’ Urs smiled.
‘What changed your mind though?’ Esther asked her husband.
‘Meeting you.’ Urs tenderly reached out and touched her face.
‘That, would hardly change your mind so drastically.’ Ether nervously laughed.
‘I fell in love with you, at first sight.’ Urs smiled.
‘Urs…’ she blushed.
‘Oh. Sweet. Young love.’ Seb laughed.
‘Just you wait. It’ll happen to you one day.’ Carlos warned him.
‘Err…’ Seb blushed.
Everyone turned to look at Karen who was sitting next to Seb on the sofa, ‘What?’ she asked, blinking in surprise.
‘Seb?’ Carlos asked.
‘I…I…’ he mumbled.
‘Seb?’ Karen asked.
‘I…I..’ he mumbled again, ‘I…I love you.’ he surprised her by saying.
‘You…?’ Karen mumbled back.
‘I love you Karen.’ Seb repeated.
‘You…’ Karen mumbled.
‘Yep.’
‘Really?’ she asked.
‘Oh yes.’ he nodded.
‘Right….O….kay.’
‘So?’ he nervously asked his girlfriend.
‘I…I like you too Seb.’ not exactly what he had been hoping to hear her say. I like you? So much for Seb opening his heart and saying what he felt.
‘Oh. Right. OK.’ he sighed.
‘We don’t know each other well enough Seb…’ Karen tried.
‘Oh…I see.’
‘Sorry.’ she apologised to him.
‘No. No. Its….OK. Don’t apologise.’ Seb sadly sighed.
‘Guess I…I just need time..’ Karen tried.
‘Right. OK. Moving on.’ Seb then tried to change the subject.
‘Tamara. The bitch.’ David offered.
‘And, her cruel lies.’ Fara added.
‘Why, is she lying though? That is what I don’t understand.’ Joy sighed.
‘Because, she is my darling, a complete bitch who wants to get her own back on Urs.’ Carlos answered his girlfriend.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
‘Err…I’ll go.’ Urs nervously wiped his hands down his thighs.
Everyone held their breaths. They knew that the reason the door had gone could only mean one thing.
Holding in his hands an envelope, Urs walked nervously back into the room where his wife and their friends were currently sitting. ‘It’s the…results.’ he sighed, telling them. He looked at Esther, at his wife, ‘Could you…?’ he asked her handing out the envelope.
‘Sure.’ she smiled and took the offered envelope.
She carefully opened it. It was the DNA results as thought. Her eyes scanned the writing then she smiled and looked straight at her husband, Urs, ‘Leo…is yours.’ she told him, smiling.
‘Really?’ he nervously asked her, not believing his own ears.
‘Really.’ she nodded her confirmation.
He picked her up in his arms, swung her around then held her close, hugging her tight.
‘I love you Esther.’ he told her.
‘I love you too.’ she told him back.
‘Leo, is mine.’ he smiled, telling everyone.
‘He sure is.’ Esther returned the smile.
‘Fancy adopting him?’ he then asked.
‘I don’t think Tamara would let me…’
‘She will.’
‘But Tamara hates me…’ Esther pointed out the obvious.
‘Doesn’t mean she wouldn’t let you be Leo’s mother.’
Esther just smiled. She didn’t know what else to say. He seemed to have his mind set.
Everyone spent the rest of the day, celebrating the good news.
Well, everyone apart from Esther who knew deep inside that Tamara would never let her anywhere near Leo let alone adopt him as her own. And Karen. Who watched Seb, pretending to be happy. When she knew that it was all an act. Her words, rejecting his declaration of love earlier had made that happen. She had upset him, in front of all his friends while not meaning to. It was the last thing Karen wanted to do. Hurt Seb. She liked him. Liked him a lot.

Tamara fumed when she learnt Urs had had Leo tested and it turned out that he was Urs’ child. Tamara hadn’t expected that. She had actually cheated on Urs to get pregnant. So to find out that Leo was Urs’. Well. That did surprise her. She had so wanted Leo to be someone else’s. Anyone else’s. She hated Urs now. She had wanted to wound him. Mark him. But it hadn’t worked out the way she had wanted. Blast. Damn. Bloody, bloody man. He always, always had to have it his way. It was so not fair. Not bloody fair! And now he was with that….that common little nanny. That mousy female she, Tamara, had personally employed. Ha. How could he do this? With the nanny? Marry her? How had she got what Tamara had spent years, years chasing after? What was her secret? Apart from being boring of course. Being dull. Maybe, maybe that was her secret. Maybe, Tamara being as she was had scared Urs into thinking she didn’t need anything from him when really she had needed it all. Everything. Why had Esther, that little bitch got him? It was not fair. So, so not, not, NOT fair!
Well, Tamara would have the last laugh. She would get her revenge. She would break Urs and that little tart up. Tamara would leave her crying. Broken. Damaged. Just like she deserved to be. Ha. Ha. Ha!
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:11 am

22.

Seb was upset. Distraught almost. He had opened up his heart and had confessed his love for his girlfriend, in front of his and her friends, and she had…rejected him. It had been humiliating. Why had Seb said it? It had only been three words. Three little simple words.
I.
LOVE.
YOU.
And she had, Karen, had…she had…been shocked was the reaction.
Shocked. At his declaration of love. It had made Seb want to crawl up into a ball and cry. But he hadn’t done. For he couldn’t. He couldn’t show his emotions. Show his reactions. He was a man and men weren’t allowed to show their reactions. Show their emotions. Especially not in public. Where everyone could see.
Why had he done it? Why oh why? Oh why? And why had Karen rejected him?
They had seemed to be getting on so well. So wonderfully well. Brilliantly well. They had had a handful of dates. Dates which had included a lot of kissing and touching and not much else. But that, those dates, had been enough for Seb to know. For him to feel that Karen was his ‘’the one.’’ The other part of him. His soul mate. He had never believed in soul mates until Karen had come along and changed all that. She completed him. Made him feel whole. Right. But now it seemed that every time he tried contacting her she rejected him. His calls. Ignored his text messages. Sent back his flowers. Like she didn’t want to know him anymore.
What had he done? And more importantly, how could he win her love back? Or, to be honest, to win her love in the first place? For Seb was desperate. He loved Karen. He needed Karen. So he would get her. But how though? That was the question. How?

Karen, was upset. And it was no ones fault but her own.
She had turned Seb down. Rejected him. And for what?
Because he had been brave enough to confess his feelings for her in front of both his and her friends. He had been more brave than she could ever be. Plus, he had said it because he had meant it. And not just because he wanted to use it as a weapon to get her into bed like other men in the past had tried to do. For that reason and that reason alone, Karen was, like Esther had been, still a virgin. She had never yet met anyone she had trusted enough to take that last, final step with. It was scary.

In the middle of trying to design a new dress for some latest fashion model, even though her heart just wasn’t in it at the moment, but a deadline was a deadline, Karen heard a noise. It sounded like…yelping. The sort a dog or puppy would make. After the noise continued for quite a while, Karen threw down her pencil onto the table, it landed next to her plain piece of paper, inspiration really wasn’t coming today for her she hated to admit, and went to investigate where the noise was coming from. And why it was coming.
She found, on her doorstep, a beautiful puppy. A chocolate Labrador. In a box with a ribbon around its throat and a note which read, ‘Hi Karen. My name is Bongo. Please take care of me and love me. Like I love you xx.’
‘But where did you come from?’ Karen asked, picking the puppy, apparently named Bongo, up. She, for it was female, even with the unusual name, started kissing her face. Licking her. Like she was glad to see Karen. And actually, Karen was glad to see her too. Bongo. Glad of the distraction from her no inspired designing she had been trying to do. Unsuccessfully.
‘Yes.’ she laughed at the licking puppy, ‘I love you too.’
‘So you can say the words then. Just not to be. Obviously.’ came Seb’s voice.
‘Seb!’ Karen exclaimed, looking up and seeing him standing there, in front of her.
‘Hi Kaz.’ he sighed. He looked like he hadn’t slept, hadn’t shaved or eaten since the last time she had seen him. Karen knew how he felt. For she hadn’t slept or eaten since then. She didn’t know what it was like to miss someone so bad until she had let Seb go. Now she knew what it was like. Horrible. Not something she wanted to go through again. It didn’t suit her. Crying each and every night. And all because of a man had told her his feelings.
‘Is…is the puppy yours?’ she asked, blushing. She liked it when he called her Kaz. It made her skin go all goose pimply. Made her feel more intimate.
‘No.’ he smiled lightly, ‘she’s yours.’
‘You bought her…’
‘I wanted to make you happy.’
‘Oh Seb…’
‘I wanted to say sorry.’
‘What for…?’
‘For…embarrassing you.’
‘I should apologise to you…’
‘No Karen. It was my fault. I started it.’
‘What? By being honest?’
‘I guess.’ he shrugged.
‘Oh Seb…’
‘No. Please. Don’t feel sorry for me. I couldn’t…I can’t handle that.’ he sadly sighed.
‘I’m not. I’m….I’m…’ Karen tried.
‘You’re what?’ he asked.
‘Scared.’ she admitted at long last.
‘About what?’
‘About…everything.’ she shrugged.
‘Meaning?’
‘I’m not…I’m not confident.’
‘About…?’
‘Everything. Relationships. Life….Us. If there is an us.’ she sighed.
‘Oh Karen.’
‘You see I’ve never…’ she tried to tell him.
‘Never what?’ Seb asked.
‘Never…with anyone.’ she shrugged.
‘You’ve…?’
‘Never. With anyone.’
‘You mean…?’
‘Yes. That.’ she nodded.
‘Ever?’
‘No.’ Karen sighed.
‘Wow.’
‘I mean, I want to, but…’
‘You’ve never.’
‘No.’
‘OK.’
‘Sorry.’ Karen apologised.
‘No. Don’t apologise.’
‘But I’ve…shocked you.’
‘No. You haven’t.’
‘I have…’ Karen tried.
‘No sweetie. You haven’t.’ Seb smiled.
‘What then…?’
‘When you find the right one, then I hope that they….love you as much as I do,’ he told her.
‘Oh Seb…’ Karen cried. She placed the puppy, Bongo, down on the floor who immediately went running towards the sofa she had in her designing room.
He pulled her into his arms, ‘Don’t cry. Please.’ he asked, soothing her, all the while gently stroking her hair.
‘I…I…I want..’ she tried.
‘What honey? What do you want?’
‘I…I want you…to be my first…’ she told him.
‘I’m sorry. But I can’t.’ he turned her down.
‘What? Why not?’ she asked, slightly shocked at this.
‘I love you Karen. I can’t have sex with you then let you go. I’m sorry. But I can’t.’
‘But…but you…’
‘No. I’m sorry. But I can’t.’
‘But…’
‘I love you Karen. I want to. Really I do. But I can’t. Sorry. My feelings are involved.’
‘But…’ she tried again.
‘Unless you love me, we can never be together.’
‘Oh…OK.’ she sighed. Disappointed.
‘If you thought otherwise, then I’m sorry. For leading you on. For…for making you think I’m the type of man. I mean, I was. I probably still am. But I’m in love with you so that makes it feel different.’
‘Right….OK.’
‘Unless you love me too?’ Seb tried.
‘I…I…’
‘What Karen? What?’
‘I’m scared Seb.’
‘Of what?’
‘Of you breaking my heart.’ Karen cried.
‘I won’t break your heart.’
‘You might do.’
‘But in you doing that, you’re…you’re braking my heart.’ Seb sadly pointed out.
‘I am?’
‘Yes, you are.’
‘OK.’
‘So?’ Seb asked.
‘I…I…’ Karen took a deep breath, ‘I love you Seb.’
‘You do?’ he asked.
‘I do.’ she confirmed, nodding.
‘You’re not just saying this because…’
‘Seb, I love you.’ she repeated.
‘Yeah, but…’
‘Seb, I mean it. I do.’
‘So if we don’t today…’
‘I don’t care. I still mean it. I do.’
‘Really?’ he asked for confirmation.
‘Really.’ she agreed, smiling.
‘Oh. OK.’
‘Seb…?’
‘Yes Karen?’ he asked.
‘I want you Seb.’
‘Kaz…’
She reached out a hand, and touched his face, ‘I want you.’ she repeated, looking deep into his eyes. Her blue eyes staring right into his green ones.
‘Kaz…’
‘Please Seb. Love me?’ she asked, placing a kiss on his mouth.
‘Kaz…’
‘Teach me, please Seb?’
‘You don’t know what you’re asking me…’
‘Oh I do. I do.’ she nodded, ‘I want you. To be my first.’
‘What about your only one?’ he then asked.
‘Meaning…?’
‘Marriage. Marry me Kaz?’ he asked, surprising her.
‘Really?’ she gazed, open mouthed at him.
‘Really.’ he confirmed.
‘Wow…’
‘Marry me Kaz?’ he repeated.
‘Yes please.’ she smiled.
‘Really?’
‘Really. Yes please.’
‘Can we…wait?’ he then asked.
‘For…?’
‘Until we can make love?’
‘When…?’
‘Until after the wedding?’
‘Err…OK.’
‘Great. Great.’ he beamed.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:11 am

23.
‘Oh…wow.’ Esther exclaimed, hugging Karen after she had told her friend the news of her shock engagement to Seb. They were currently in Karen’s flat, sharing news. Well, Karen was sharing news. Esther was listening. Stunned. But happy that her friend was happy. Wow. Engaged. Something Karen had said long ago would never happen to her. She just wasn’t the type men fell in love with and wanted to commit too. Karen didn’t care. She had been happy being single. Having things her own way. My how times had changed Esther thought looking around the place. She could see bits of Seb wherever she looked. Karen was now a friend in love and she was happy for her. Pleased that she was finally experiencing love or whatever the feeling was.
‘I know. Wow. Weird eh?’ Karen agreed, staring at the engagement ring on her ring finger. Something she thought she would never see sitting there. She, Karen Hollinshead was engaged. To be married. How weird was that? The proposal had been a rather romantic one, after Seb had bought the ring. He had dropped to his knees, had declared his love for Karen again then had gazed into her eyes while saying the words, ‘I love you Karen. Marry me, please?’
Karen had gazed deeply into his eyes and had said, ‘Yes please.’ before Seb had slipped the ring onto her finger. It had been perfect. Even the ring was perfect. A simple diamond on a platinum band. Simple but perfect.
‘You, and Seb.’ Esther nudged her friend.
‘I know. But I guess I love him.’ Karen smiled, shrugging.
‘So, what is he like then?’ Ether asked, winking.
‘Eh…?’
‘In bed.’ Esther winked again.
‘I…I wouldn’t know.’ Karen sighed.
‘Eh? Why the hell not?’
‘He…he wants us, to wait. Until the wedding.’
‘Weird.’
‘He….Seb, kind of found out…that I’m a virgin.. And so…’
‘Really? You?’ Esther asked, sounding a little shocked.
‘Yep. Me.’ her friend nodded.
‘I’d have never guessed.’ Esther admitted.
‘I know I come over all…’
‘Confident.’ Esther helped out.
‘Yes. But really I’m really scared. Deep down inside.’
‘But why? I don’t understand.’
‘I guess, its my profession. Designing. Every time, and I mean every time I put out a new collection I get nervous. Scared. That its going to fail…’
‘But it won’t. You won’t.’ You’re so talented Kaz. You are amazing.’
‘No I’m not…’ Karen blushed.
‘Yes you are.’ Esther insisted, hugging her friend.
‘Thanks.’
‘Hey, don’t thank me. You’re my best friend. That’s what friends are for.’
‘Hey, thought Urs was meant to be your best friend…’
‘Then you’re my best female friend.’ Esther corrected.
‘Like…like I think Seb is mine.’ Karen smiled.
‘You two make a odd couple though.’ Esther then admitted.
‘I know. I’m so…dull and Seb isn’t.’
‘Hey, you’re not dull.’
‘But still. Seb is the fun one.’
‘He still needs you. To ground him.’
‘Makes him sound like a balloon.’ Karen smiled.
‘Yeah, a French one!’ Esther agreed.
‘Hey, that’s my fiancée you’re talking about!’
‘See! I knew you loved him. I could tell!’ Esther smiled.
‘Kind of like you love Urs.’ Karen returned the smile.
‘I…I don’t.’
‘You do.’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘There is no use denying it. I tried to. But it just won’t go away. Not until you admit it.’
‘I don’t love Urs thought. I love Leo. But not Urs.’
‘See, that’s what is strange. Doesn’t Leo look a lot like his daddy?’
‘I guess.’ Esther shrugged.
‘Then…’
‘But Leo also looks like Tamara.’
‘Hardly. Leo looks exactly like Urs. And…a little like you too.’
‘Sure, he’s got mine…I mean, ours’, Urs’ and I, our colouring. But…’
‘No wonder that time you went to the hospital everyone thought you were a proper family.’ Karen smiled.
‘Yeah, but that doesn’t mean…’ Esther tried.
‘OK. Maybe you’re not blood related. But that doesn’t mean you’re not a real family. To be a real family its all about love. Not about blood.’ Karen wisely pointed out.
‘But that doesn’t mean…’
‘Esther, honey, you love Urs. Its written all over your face. Admit it. Its not so bad being in love. Actually, its rather nice.’ Karen smiled.
‘You’re right. About love. Being in love suits you Kaz.’
‘I know. I’ve gone all soft and girly.’ Karen admitted, happily.
‘OK….OK.’ Esther then sighed.
‘OK…what?’
‘You’re right. I do.’
‘Say the words Est?’ Karen asked.
‘I….I love Urs.’
‘Good. Good.’
‘I, Esther, love Urs.’
‘Good. Now, go tell him.’ Karen urged.
‘I…I…’
‘Find Urs. Look him right in the eye, and say the magic words. I love you Urs.’ Karen smiled.
‘And there was me, thinking you loved me..’ Seb sighed, overhearing his girlfriend, sorry, fiancée declare her love for another man.
‘I was talking about Esther. Loving Urs.’ Karen told him.
‘I know.’ he smiled, ‘I’m only kidding.’
‘Why you..’ Karen playfully smacked his chest.
‘Owww….kiss that better..’ Seb attempted to sulk, his eyes twinkling with laugher.
‘Come here..’ Karen held her arms out towards him.
‘Oh no. No. Not until the wedding.’ he told her.
‘Oh Seb..’ she now sulked.
‘Think I’d better go….’ Esther then announced, feeling a little like a gooseberry between these two obvious love birds.
‘No. Its OK. You don’t have to..’ Karen tried.
‘No. No. I do. I do.’ Esther tried.
‘OK..’ Karen sighed, not wanting to force her friend away.
‘Oh, and Seb?’ Esther then smiled at him.
‘Yes Mrs Buhler?’ he winked.
‘Sleep with Karen. Before she goes completely crazy.’ she told him.
‘But…’
‘She can still wear white at the wedding. I did.’
‘Err…OK.’
‘Unless you don’t want me…?’ Karen then asked her fiancé.
‘No. No. I mean, I do…’
‘Then?’
‘Bye Esther. Take care.’ Seb winked at Esther before picking up a now giggling Karen in his arms and carrying her in the direction of the bedroom.

Karen lay in Seb’s arms, happy and contented.
‘Hmmm…that was great.’ Seb whispered in a happy voice.
‘Sure was.’ she agreed, stroking his chest.
‘You like that eh?’ he lightly groaned at her stroking of his chest hair.
‘Sure do.’ she smiled up at him.
‘Me too.’ he dozily smiled back.
‘I mean, I love you, but I also love your hairy chest.’ Karen told him.
‘Glad you like me too…’
‘Seb, I love you.’ she told him.
‘Kaz, I love you too.’ he happily agreed.
They had just had sex. It had been fun Karen was pleased to discover. Seeing Seb naked for the first time had been exciting. He was so hairy. God. She loved hairy men and thank god she was marrying an exceptionally hairy one!
The sex hadn’t hurt. Seb had been very caring and slow, making sure Karen had been a 100% ready before sliding himself in. Now, Karen couldn’t remember what it felt like not to have Seb inside her. It felt natural. Right. Did everyone feel this way after having sex she wondered? For it was such a brilliant feeling. Wonderful. Her whole body felt alive. Like she had suddenly woken up after such a long time spent dreaming.

Later that day, while trying to think up a reason to bring up the dreaded words to say to Urs, them being, ‘I love you Urs.’ Esther had the unfortunate experience of bumping into Tamara while she was out shopping for maternity bras and underwear.
Tamara stared at Esther’s becoming obvious bump and spat at her, ‘You’re pregnant.’
‘I…I…’ Esther, unprepared to see her mumbled at this.
‘Pregnant.’ Tamara spat again.
‘So I am.’ Esther finally decided to agree.
‘Urs hates children.’
‘No he doesn’t. He loves Leo.’
‘He didn’t want him.’
‘He loves him now.’ Esther smiled.
‘But you’re pregnant…’
‘We want children together.’
‘Urs told you that? That he wants children?’ Tamara asked.
‘Yes.’ Esther nodded.
‘He’s lying to you!’ Tamara cruelly laughed.
‘Eh…?’ Esther mumbled.
‘Urs never wants children. Never!’
‘But…’ Esther nervously clasped her tummy, trying to protect her unborn child from this cruel, nasty woman shouting at her.
‘I tricked him into getting me pregnant.’ Tamara spat, menacing towards her.
‘He wants our child…’ Esther moved backwards, trying to get out of the way of Tamara. Then she found herself trapped, up against a wall or door of some sort.
‘He’s lying.’ she repeated, ‘he hates children. HATES them! And if he tries to tell you otherwise, then he is lying. Lying. I should know.’
‘No. No. He’s not…he…Urs told me…’
‘He’s playing you. He thinks he’s in love. Ha. What does he know about love? Lust more like it.’
‘No. I don’t believe you..’ Esther cried out.
‘Urs, is a master of lies and deceit. Its all he knows. All he’ll ever know. He’s playing you for a fool. He’s sucked you in. You poor sad little girl.’ she cruelly sneered at Esther, ‘Its all a game. You’ll never, never have him. He’s mine. MINE! And always will be.’ Tamara spat, glaring at a frightened Esther.
‘No. He loves me…’
‘HA!’ Tamara snorted, ‘love? You? I don’t think so. No. He won’t stay with you. He’s just playing with you until he comes to his senses. Urs, is mine. MINE!’
‘No. No.’ Esther cried, covering her ears, not wanting to hear any more cruel, vicious lies. For they couldn’t be true, could they?
‘MINE!’ Tamara shouted.
‘No. No.’
‘MINE!’ Tamara shouted a second time before storming off, laughing to herself.
Esther waited until she had gone, then she slid down the wall she had been leaning against, buried her head in her hands and cried. She continued to cry until Joy came along to take her home.
‘Oh honey. Honey.’ Joy tried soothing.
‘It’s a lie. All a lie.’ Esther cried.
‘What is honey? Tell me, please?’ Joy held her in her arms and stroked her hair.
‘Our…relationship.’
‘Who’s honey?’
‘Urs’ and mine…’
‘Oh honey. What happened?’ Joy carefully asked.
‘Tamara…Tamara found me…’
‘Honey?’
‘She….she told me a few things. She…she made me see. Made me realise.’
‘Realise what honey?’
‘Everything.’ Esther sighed.
‘Tell me?’ Joy asked.
‘No. No. I need…I need to…’
‘To what honey?’
‘To talk to Urs.’ Esther realised all of a sudden.
‘Yes, you do.’ Joy agreed.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:12 am

24.

Fara, the usually sensible, wouldn’t let anyone or anything bother her, was feeling worried. For the past few days David had been acting strange around her. She had thought that they were getting on well. Brilliantly. They had just started sleeping together even though they had been dating for quite a while. Fara had had her heart broken before and now it seemed as thought it was starting to happen all over again. All the signs were there. David was acting shifty like he was starting to get itchy feet. Like all of a sudden his relationship with Fara wasn’t enough for him no matter that they had moved onto the final stage - trusting each other enough to sleep together. Fara was scared. She really liked David. Loved him even. All the signs for her to love him was there. But it seemed as though it was all too late. So much for trusting another man. Fara would have to let go of her dreams of being with David forever. Of marrying him. Of having children with him even. Oh well. It would be hard but she could do it. She would have to do it. Oh well.
She decided. To remove her things that had crept into David’s hotel room. So when he told her he didn’t want to see her again, Fara would be able to make a complete clean break and not see him again. Unless she wanted to of course. Which was unlikely after he had taken her heart and torn it up into a thousand pieces before handing it back to her.
‘Wha…what are you doing?’ David surprised her in the middle of packing up her stuff. He had been out. But now he was back. Looking at Fara with a puzzled, rather pained expression on his face.
‘Removing my stuff.’ she carried on packing, blinking back the tears stinging in her eyes.
‘You’re…leaving me.’
‘Hardly.’ she laughed.
‘What then? What is all this?’ he asked.
‘I’m getting out of your life, before you decide to dump me.’
‘Eh? Whatever gave you that idea…?’ he mumbled in surprise.
‘You’ve been…distant with me. Its OK. I can read the signs. My time is up. You’re moving on.’ Fara shrugged, trying not to cry.
‘Honey….Fara…no.’
‘No? what then?’ she asked, not being able to bring herself to do one simple thing. Look him in the eye.
‘I was…I’m…’ he mumbled.
‘So, I’m going.’
‘No Fara. Please don’t…’
‘I have to. I can’t stay where I’m not wanted. I won’t. I refuse to.’ she angrily shook her head and carried on, ignoring David’s weird noises he was currently making. He sounded like a cat being strangled.
‘No. Please. Fara….’ David cried.
‘Why not?’ she demanded.
‘I….I…’ he tried.
‘Give me one good reason David?’
‘I…I…’ he tried again.
‘See? I knew it. You can’t. So I’m going.’
‘No Fara….no.’
‘I have to. Can’t you see? I have to.’ she cried out.
‘I love you Fara.’
‘Its too late.’ she picked up her now packed bag.
‘I love you Fara.’ he grabbed hold of her free hand, trying to stop her from leaving.
‘Sorry David. Goodbye…’ she tried to pull her hand free, but David held on tight.
‘Marry me.’ he surprised her with.
Fara dropped her bag in shock, ‘What did you say?’ she asked, blinking at him.
‘I said, marry me Fara?’
‘You’re just saying that, so I won’t go…’
‘I’ve got the ring.’ David pulled out of his pocket a small jewellery box.
‘I…I….’
‘That’s why I was so distracted. I wanted to find the right one to show you how much I love you.’ he smiled.
‘Really?’
‘Yes Fara. Really.’
‘Can I…can I see it?’ she asked, gazing at the box.
‘It is for you. Here.’ he opened the lid.
Fara gasped.
‘You like it then?’ he guessed, smiling.
‘Its beautiful.’ she swooned.
‘Here, try it on.’ he picked it up and slid it onto Fara’s ring finger. It fitted perfectly. It was beautiful. A single solitaire diamond on a platinum band. Beautiful. It was perfect. Pure Fara.
‘Marry me Fara?’ he asked her again.
‘Oh! Yes please.’ she beamed.
‘I love you Fara.’
‘I love you David.’ she kissed his mouth, ‘I love you.’ she repeated, letting him pick her up in his arms, and carrying her towards the bed to make sweet love.

Esther stormed home. Luckily, Joy had agreed to look after Leo for a little while, until everything got sorted. Esther needed to talk to Urs about Tamara. Was what she had told Esther a complete lie or the truth? Either way Esther needed to hear it from Urs. From the horses mouth so to speak. Be it hurtful or not. She needed to know. She found Urs in his study. On the phone. To his lawyer. Probably arranging to divorce her Esther thought, biting her lip so she wouldn’t cry out in distress too soon.
He would probably use the fact that she was pregnant for a get out clause. Saying that she had tricked him. Just like Tamara had done. Which, Esther hadn’t. She really didn’t know she could get pregnant. It had been a complete surprise to her to find that she could.
Esther dithered for a while. Trying to work out the best way to ask him what she wanted to know. She paced the room. Until he was ready.
After he had put the phone down he looked at her and smiled.
‘Hi honey.’ then, sensing something was wrong he asked, ‘what is it? What is wrong?’
‘Why did you marry me Urs?’ she decided to come straight out with it and ask.
‘Hey?’ he nervously laughed.
‘I said, why did you marry me?’ she repeated.
‘For the age old romantic reason.’ he smiled.
‘Which is?’ she asked.
‘I love you of course.’
‘Not for any other reason?’
‘No.’ he shook his head, ‘why?’
‘Just something Tamara said.’
‘Which is?’
‘You like doing your duty.’
‘Look.’ he sighed, ‘I stayed with her, to do my duty. That I admit to.’
‘Because she was pregnant?’
‘Yes.’
‘With a child you didn’t want?’
‘No.’
‘Do you want this child Urs?’ Esther then asked him.
‘What makes you ask…?’
‘Because I know. That you didn’t want Leo!’
‘No. I didn’t.’
‘Then you don’t want my child either!’ Esther cried.
‘I do. I do.’ he cried back.
‘Why? What makes this child so different, to Leo?’
‘Because I love you!’
‘You might have loved Tamara once.’
‘No. Never.’ he shuddered.
‘But you were with her…’
‘Out of convenience.’
‘Pardon?’
‘I loved Valeria. Thought I’d always be with her. Then Tamara comes along. Makes her move. Valeria and I split up. I don’t do dating so after Tamara made herself obvious to me I thought what the hell. So I made myself find something about her that I could…like.’
‘You made yourself like her?’ astonished, Esther asked.
‘Yes.’ he nodded.
‘Because you don’t do dating.’ she repeated.
‘A long time ago I tried dating. I ended up with my heart broken. I vowed then never to put myself through it ever again. So I go for whoever makes it obvious they want me.’
‘So Tamara then.’
‘Yes.’
‘But…I never made it obvious. That I was interested in you…’
‘I know. With you, it was different.’
‘How?’ Esther asked.
‘I fell in love with you, at first sight.’ he smiled.
‘In the hospital room?’ she gasped.
‘No, at a concert, six months before.’ he corrected.
‘You did see me…’
‘Yes honey I did.’
‘But there were so many people there. So many women…beautiful women.’
‘I only saw you. To me, you were the most beautiful woman I could see. Have ever seen since.’
‘You never came after me…’
‘I couldn’t. Tamara chose that night to announce that she was pregnant, with Leo.’
‘But if she hadn’t..’
‘I would have come after you.’
‘We would have never…’
‘We would Esther. We would.’
‘What? Been married?’ Esther asked.
‘Oh yes. And had a child already.’
‘Really?’
‘I love you Esther. We were destined to be together.’
‘I hardly think…’
‘We are Esther. We are.’
‘It’s a fluke, that I started working for you…’
‘Or fate. Destiny.’
‘No.’ Esther shook her head.
‘I think so.’
‘Tamara, picked me to be your nanny because she thought I was ugly, and good at my job.’
‘She was wrong. You’re not ugly. You’re beautiful. I’ve always thought so. Seb thought so too, remember?’
‘He flirts with any female thought.’
‘Not since he’s met Karen.’
‘No. You’re right there.’ Esther admitted, ‘but, back to Tamara.’ she then sighed.
‘Go on?’ he asked.
‘What makes us different?’
‘How do you mean?’
‘You and I. From say, you and Tamara.’
‘Our relationship you mean?’ Urs asked.
‘Yes.’ Esther nodded.
‘Well, I’m with you, because I love you.’
‘And you weren’t, with Tamara?’
‘No.’ he shook his head.
‘Then what…why did you get with her?’
‘I already told you. Valeria and I split up.’ he sighed.
‘So. That doesn’t mean you had to be with Tamara.’ she pointed out.
‘I know it didn’t…’
‘So?’
‘She was, available. She wanted me.’ he sighed again.
‘But you didn’t love her.’
‘I guess I…I lusted over her in a way. Or something.’
‘And she was available.’
‘Yes.’ he nodded.
‘I still don’t understand.’
‘No. Nor do I come to think of it.’ he sighed yet again.
‘I wasn’t’ available.’
‘I still love you.’
‘And our child?’ she asked.
‘This time, I want to be a father.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m sure.’ he nodded.
‘OK. But, if you ever change your mind…’
‘I won’t Esther. I won’t.’ he tried reassuring her.
‘I hope not.’
‘I love you Esther. That is one thing that will never go.’
‘Promise?’ she asked, still unsure.
‘I promise Esther.’
‘Thank you. I….I love you Urs.’
‘I love you too.’ he held her close.
‘But Tamara…she told me this to, to…’
‘To try and break us up. Yes. I know that now.’ he sighed.
‘Wha…what are we going to do though?’ Esther asked.
‘Now, we get our own back.’ Urs told her.
‘How?’
‘I’ve a few ideas.’
‘OK.’ Esther nodded.
_________________

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
sony
Moderators
Moderators
avatar

Horse
Posts : 142
Join date : 2008-12-14
Age : 39
Location : Peru

PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   Wed Aug 12, 2009 1:13 am

25.



A few days later, Urs arranged a meeting with Tamara. The meeting would be in his lawyers office. To make it official. So she wouldn’t get the wrong idea and think he wanted her back. Which, he never would. He hated her. Hated her. Hated his ex partner. Oh how times and things had changed. From not liking her to hating her. Because she had made Esther cry. Had made Esther doubt his and her relationship. He made sure Esther and all his friends were there for support. Although, Esther hid away from Tamara. Not wanting to see the woman who had upset her a few days earlier. Esther, who couldn’t stop shaking with nerves and worried ness, stayed and waited with Carlos, Joy, Seb, Karen, Fara and David in another room. Waiting until it was all over and done with. But they still heard the shouting. Tamara wasn’t a very happy woman by the end of the discussion. Never mind eh?
Luckily, his lawyers had found a clause, on Esther’s contract which meant that Urs had a lot and I mean a lot of ammunition against Tamara. He didn’t like doing it. But, if it kept her away from Esther then Urs was planning to do everything he could to help. He wanted Esther to be happy. He loved her and had vowed to make her nothing but happy forever more.
‘Ursy! I knew you’d soon see sense. Sooner or later.’ Tamara crackled on seeing Urs. She attempted to touch him but he just batted her away, glaring daggers at her. Then she noticed Esther, hiding in the other room, although Esther was in the other room, there was only a sheet of glass separating Tamara and Esther from probably having a catfight, ‘Oh, I see you’ve bought the sad little wife..’ she spat.
‘Pardon?’ Urs asked, barking at her.
‘Her.’ she spat at Esther again. She looked to be cowering in the corner which made Tamara smile. Ha. Ha. Ha. She was scared. That pathetic little mouse was scared. Good. She had done a good job in scaring her. Ha. Ha. Ha!!
‘My wife.’ Urs corrected.
‘Yes. Sad little thing her.’
‘I suggest you had better be nice to her, or else.’ Urs warned.
‘Or what are you going to do?’ Tamara cruelly laughed.
‘Oh. I don’t know. Say, hold Leo’s payments against you.’
‘Like you could do that darling.’ yes, even though Tamara had no contact with her son for some reason Urs had been paying her maintenance towards his keep, even though he was the one constantly looking after him. Make sense out of that if you can!
‘Oh I can. Considering you’ve had zero contact with your own son since almost from the day he was born.’ Urs pointed out.
‘You can’t do that…’ Tamara cried, sounding distressed.
‘Oh I can. You see, I’ve had Esther’s contract checked out.’
‘Yeah, and? She was the nanny. Before she stole you away from me. Little bitch.’ Tamara spat, flashing her claw like fingernails in Esther’s direction.
‘Yes. The nanny.’ Urs agreed, ‘in which you left our child in soul care of.’
‘I….I never did…’
‘As worded in the contract. The 26 page contract I have to add, that you made Esther sign before accepting the job.’
‘I…I…’
‘I have it here.’ Urs waved it in front of her.
Tamara snatched it away. Her eyes quickly scanned a few pages then she started ripping it up. Destroying it.
‘Sure. Go ahead. Destroy that copy. Its not the original.’ Urs told her.
‘It…?’ she gasped at him.
‘Do you really think I’d show you the original? Do you really think I’m that stupid?’ Urs asked.
‘I…I….Well. Yes.’ Tamara nodded.
‘Ha. More fool you.’
‘But you love me. You need me!’ she then cried out.
‘I don’t need you Tamara.’ Urs spat.
‘Without me you were nothing!’
‘Ha. I don’t think so.’ Urs snorted at this claim.
‘I want what I deserve.’ Tamara then shouted at him.
‘Which is?’
‘Money.’
‘For?’
‘For Leo.’
‘Who you don’t even care about. Let alone have custody of.’
‘That’s just it. I want custody!’
‘Then I suppose you’d want a nanny too?’ Urs sarcastically asked.
‘Yes. Why not?’
‘Who’d end up looking after Leo. Single handily.’
‘What else is a nanny for?’ Tamara laughed.
‘Like Esther was left looking after Leo.’
‘She was his nanny!’
‘Not, according to her working contract she wasn’t.’
‘Yes she was!’ Tamara laughed.
‘No Tamara. She wasn’t.’
‘Then what was she then?’ Tamara nervously laughed.
‘According to this contract, and by the way whoever wrote it up I’d change your lawyer, this contract.’ Urs shook the document, another copy, he wasn’t about to risk another copy being destroyed just because Tamara though it might be the original. ‘Esther, is down as Leo’s mother. Not his nanny.’
‘Eh? But…but…I…I don’t understand.’ Tamara cried.
‘Here, check page 18.’ Urs thrust the new contract at her.
The 26 page contract Esther had been made to sign all those months ago, actually, well over a year ago now. Tamara leaved through the contract. To find the correct page. Her eyes scanned it. Finding the right part her eyes narrowed. Then she let out a strangled kind of gasp.
‘But….but..’ she mumbled as if in shock.
‘So you see, you can’t actually sue Esther or I. For, according to this official document Leo is already our child. And not yours. In fact, this document, says you are the nanny. And not Esther.’ Urs pointed the fact that Tamara’s lawyer had not only mucked up Esther’s contract, but drastically ruined it.
‘No. No. It can’t be…’ Tamara mumbled.
‘Oh, but it is.’ Urs smiled.
‘What do you want?’ Tamara then demanded.
‘Oh, for you to leave us alone.’
‘But….but…’
‘But what Tamara? I mean its not like you actually want contact with your child. Your son. Your own flesh and blood now, do you?’
‘I….I….No.’ she finally admitted.
‘Well then.’
‘So that’s it then.’ she said.
‘Yep.’ he nodded.
‘I’m just supposed to walk away?’ she asked.
‘Yep.’ he repeated.
‘Without a fight?’
‘Yep.’ he said for a third time.
‘That’s all I’m getting? Two years I spent with you. And I get a ’’yep’’?’ she angrily demanded.
‘Yep.’ he said yet again.
Tamara glared.
Urs smiled back, ’Yep.’ he repeated.
‘You…you bastard.’ she spat before angrily storming away.
‘She’s gone?’ Esther nervously asked, coming into the room once she knew it was safe to do so.
‘Yes honey, she’s gone.’ Urs smiled at her.
‘We can relax now?’
‘Yes honey. We can relax now.’ he pulled her into his arms, holding her close, soothing her too. Trying to calm her nerves. He could feel her trembling in his arms. She was still scared. Even though Tamara had now gone. For good.
‘I love you Urs.’ Esther whispered.
‘I love you Esther.’ Urs smiled back, before kissing her.

‘We’ve won.’ Urs happily announced to all his friends once Tamara had completely gone, ‘Tamara is finally out of our lives. Forever.’
‘Yippeeee!’ Carlos shouted with joy at the news. He was also holding Joy’s hand for comfort. For some reason all the women had been shaking with nerves when Tamara had been around. Making them all feel uncomfortable.
‘Really?’ David asked for confirmation, while holding Fara‘s hand for support and comfort.
‘Really.’ Urs happily agreed.
‘Phew.’ Seb smiled, holding his fiancée, Karen, close in his arms.
‘Its such a shame you lied thought..’ Carlos then sighed, having a touch of conscience.
‘Only a little lie.’ Urs admitted, ‘but it had to be done.’
‘True. True.’ Carlos nodded.
‘Plus, it was Tamara’s fault, if you think about it. Her and her stupid lawyer.’ David pointed out to Carlos.
‘True.’ Carlos nodded again, agreeing at long last.

The next few months went so much better than those last few days had gone. Esther and Urs’ relationship went on in leaps and bounds. They grew close again. More close then ever before. They bounded over their love and their child. Both Leo and the new developing pregnancy. Esther even helped Karen plan her wedding to Seb. Karen, Seb, Fara and David had decided to have a joint wedding. No one had been surprised when Fara and David had announced their wedding. In fact on hearing the news, Esther had laughed and said to them both, Whatever took you so long?’
‘Eh?’ Fara had mumbled in surprise.
‘You and David. A perfect match.’ Urs had told her.
‘Like Seb and Karen.’ Esther had then added.
‘Actually, you are right there.’ Urs agreed, nodding.
Without Tamara being around everyone felt more freer. More happier. They could all relax. IL DIVO were now a happy group. And it showed in their work. They released a new album in which Urs even put in writing, the first time ever, declaring his love for Esther. The last time he had mentioned a partner on a CD thank you’s it had been Valeria. And even then he had only written her name and nothing else. With Esther he wanted the whole world to know that he loved her. Plus, he named Leo and their unborn child too. He was proud of her. Of them all. He wanted the universe to know his love was real. True. Forever. The new album was their best selling to date. It sold so many copies. A worldwide success.
The double wedding of Karen and Seb and Fara and David went wonderfully well. Only to be topped by Esther giving birth the very next day to a beautiful baby girl. It was a natural pregnancy and birth. Urs was there, holding Esther’s hand when she went into labour. He was there, holding her hand when she gave birth to his beautiful newborn baby girl. He was there all the way. Taking a chance in watching his child grow and develop in his wonderful wives stomach. Watching every day as she grew bigger and bigger with their child. So it was only natural for Urs to be there, at the birth. After all, he had been at the conception. Then, when the time had finally come, Esther gave birth. To a child Esther wanted her father, Urs to name his daughter. It took a while. But he finally decided on calling her Aimee, which meant in old French, to love. Which, Urs did. He loved Aimee, Leo and most of all his wonderful wife. Esther Buhler. He was also the first one to hold his new daughter in his arms. Holding a new life. It made him realise. That he had to go through being with Tamara to be able to cherish his new family. His new love for Esther. For every day he loved her more and more. Being with her completed him. Made him feel whole. Complete. Like their love was meant to be.
Oh, not to forget, Carlos and Joy who although were engaged, decided to, in the end, not to marry. Not because they didn’t love each other enough, for the surely did, but for they realised. That they were happy as they were. They were together. They loved each other. What more could you want? They had a commitment. A good commitment. They were together until the end of time.
Who wanted to spoil that? They certainly didn’t want to.
So they didn’t.
They all lived happily ever after then in case you are wondering.

THE END….


If I let you go, Westlife

If I let you go,
I will never know,
What my life would be,
Holding you close to me,
Will I ever see,
You smiling back at me,
How will I know,
If I let you go.

_________________
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY   

Back to top Go down
 
IF I LET YOU GO BY: KAZYJAY
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Eternita Il Divo Fan Fics Library & Assorted Info :: IL DIVO FAN FICS :: KazyJay (Kaz)-
Jump to: