* UNREQUITTED LOVES * (MIA)

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

Somehow the daylight hours just didn’t seem long enough for all the exploring they all wanted to do.

After a breakfast of Muesli, using the last of the real milk from their stash up in the canvas sac in the tree, and eggs fried simply in the metal pan Paco had lugged in {cleverly poured out of a plastic container, the shells left at home}, they finished the last piece of campfire singed toast, cleaned up and went for a hike to the stream.

Mia and Rianne traded off carrying Toni in the sling and he happily kicked and gurgled, feasting his eyes on all the new sights, laughing when Urs came back to tickle him and give him a treat of some squished berries that he assured Mia were quite safe to eat.

The waterfall they had been aiming for was not as high or impressive as she had expected, rather was wide and fast, bubbling over the rocks and pooling before trickling into the main stream and wandering off down the slope.

“That’s why it was such a good hiding spot…the soldiers didn’t think that it was high enough for there to be usable caves…follow me…it’s damp but you won’t get wet…just put that blanket up over Toni so he doesn’t get a chill.”

‘Just put that blanket up’ was not nearly as easy to do as to say since he fought the covering, perhaps thinking it was a new game until Urs took him and snuggled him under his jacket with a finger to chew on.

The cave was large, low at the entrance but widened out immediately after they found the opening hidden behind some upright boulders and edged through. Paco had gone ahead to light the way and when the other three made it inside he shone the light around at the walls to show some of the markings, mossy but still legible after over 60 years.

Mia traced her fingers over the tacky but meaningful heart she found with the initials ‘F/S’ scratched into the stone.

“Friedrich loves Sophia…I’m so used to thinking of him as Getzi I forgot his given name…I wonder if she ever saw this?”

“Paco told me the story…I had heard of Tante Sophia but was never lucky enough to meet her,” Rianne said as she came up beside Mia.

“She cried when I told her…” Paco teased but hugged his soulmate to his chest, secretly pleased that she was so sensitive.

“We won’t go very far in…it gets a bit dangerous after the first chamber, but I want to show you the mineral deposits…c’mon,” Urs said eagerly and waited for Mia, lighting the way so she wouldn’t stumble. They went down a narrow passage that curved to the right and suddenly the space opened up into an enormous chamber that seemed to be crusted in crystals.

The walls were lumpy and glowing in the light from the lantern, Crysocalcite deposits with dripstone, Urs said in explanation, running his hand lightly over the nearest chunk and pointing out the streaky dripstone markings.

“It takes thousands of years to form a piece this big, from the pressure and the constantly dripping of moisture from the stream bed above. It’s all through the cave system, some other ones as well in the Alps but this one is untouched by mining…I don’t think many except locals know about its existence.”

“Will it turn into gemstones in another thousand years? Like diamonds?” Mia asked as she reverently touched the crystal like protuberances.

“It’s a different composition but something rare in maybe 100 thousand years. When I was younger I wanted to take a piece of it home or at least a chunk to put in Getzi’s cairn…but then I thought it was better to just leave it be, in peace, and come here to enjoy seeing something so beautiful and ancient….Mia, are you cold?…you’re shivering.”

He began to take off his checked jacket to wrap her up but she stopped him with a smile.

“It’s not with cold, Urs, it’s emotion…I find it very moving to be here, walking in the same spot that those brave people did so long ago, seeing the same things, touching something as old and beautiful as this lovely rock wall…I hope no one ever finds this place and commercializes it…it’s a piece of History that should be respected and never tainted by greed.”

He pulled her close to his side and hugged her, dropping a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

“I knew you would understand,” he said.

They explored the small rooms opening off out of the large chamber, some with shreds of cloth that may have been from blankets, some with more scratched inscriptions on the walls and finally, when they all began to feel the dampness, exited back through the tunnel, under the cascading water from the falls and out into what now seemed to be dazzling bright sunlight.

Rianne had carried a small lunch for them in her day pack, sandwiches and a thermos of coffee, a tetra pack of juice and they sat in the sun, munching on their repast, Mia nursing Toni after Urs fed him some ‘revolting’ smushed peas and carrots and they talked about other camping trips they had all been on. Urs vanished after a while, but no one was concerned…disappearing acts in the wilds were common since normal bodily functions continued even when no Loo was available and privacy was treasured. He came back with a pleased smile on his face and got teased but only half heartedly and he said nothing, just smiled and went on with packing up the debris from their lunch.

Back in the cave, just under the heart with F/S, was a new carving in the wall…U/A inside a heart, the lines hurried but clear and fresh.

**

All too soon it was Monday and they began breaking camp, folding up the tents, removing signs that they had been in residence, rolling sleeping bags into tight bundles…getting everything done so they could have the rest of the day free.

Paco and Urs went fishing and came back with some respectable sized trout that the girls cooked on sticks over the fire and they all ate for lunch…except Toni who spat out the tiny piece that Urs gave him to try, making a face that had them all laughing.

“It’s an acquired taste, my Son…this I know you like,” he said as he squished a wild raspberry between his fingers and let Toni suck it off.

They split into groups after lunch, going separate ways, Paco and Rianne for more outdoor romance, Urs and Mia with Toni sleeping in the carrier on Urs’ chest off to let Mia do some more sketches of the views as reference for the painting she had promised.

She perched on a rock, working on her sketch and Urs found a nice spot not too far away where he could watch her and let Toni sleep.

‘Why does this closeness, the tenderness between us satisfy me? I should be aching with need, I want so to love her, physically…even sleeping beside her wasn’t too much…though it could have been if Toni hadn’t been there…is it because I’m pretty sure that she loves me?...and that she’s finally getting some help with her fear?....what an a** I was even thinking that she was involved with someone else…as if Mia would do that…but it scared me so…for a minute there I thought that all the dreams I have were never to come true….talk to me Liebling…let me help you….if love is all it takes, I have enough for both of us!’

He fell asleep with Toni snuggled against him, thinking about his wonderful, different, birthday and only woke when Mia shook him gently, telling him that she could hear Pol arriving.

**

As with anyone who has been camping, the first thing that was desired upon reaching home was long, hot showers and as soon as the gear was off loaded that’s where everyone disappeared to.

Pol had been full of rhetoric about his great week-end, especially the part about being able to ‘romance’ his darling wife without having children interrupting at precisely the wrong moments.

He laughed and changed the subject when both Urs and Paco yelled ‘Too Much Information!!...Mags is our Sister!!’ and when he dropped them off, scurried home with one last, grinning, comment.... “we have time for one more quickie before the party!!!”

That was when Urs realized that the party was still on, late by a few days, but they were expected at Mami’s tonight for dinner.

Ciara took Toni to get ready while Mia and Urs showered and dressed and by 1900H they were in the Audi and on the motorway heading for Willisau.

**

It was just after midnight when they made it back to the farm with Mia driving, Urs having indulged just a little too much in some homemade wine that his Onkle Yosef had brought to the party. He claimed he was far from drunk, just not willing to drive and full of happiness.

“This has been the best birthday…ackshully the best ever!!!...and it’s all because of you, ya know,” he said with slightly slurred speech as they left the Audi parked in the drive and wove a path to the door.

“Thank you, Swiss Rock god…it was really a co-operative affair…everyone helped…careful Urs…if you fall I doubt if I can get you back up.”

He stopped and stared at her then grinned.

“Sure you can…you might be little but I know how strong you are…”

“Let’s not test that theory, not tonight anyway….”

She got him inside and holding firmly to the banister as he started up the stairs then went back out for their sleeping son. When she came back in he was no-where to be seen and she took Toni up, quietly changing his diaper and putting him down in his crib then going into her own room to change for bed…so it was nearly half an hour before she went to see if Urs had made it into his bed and found him stretched out full length, his boots and clothes still on, almost all of him on the bed, sound asleep.

She giggled and went over to the bed to sit on the edge, brushing his hair back off his face.

‘I’m so glad you had a good time this weekend…and you certainly did tonight!!...That’s the first time I’ve seen you even attempt to dance since Toni was born….Dr. Stadtler is right…I have to let myself feel, stop hiding from what my heart wants so desperately …do you love me Urs, even a little? Or is what we have just the closeness of a very special, caring man for a friend? I want more than that, so much more…and if you don’t…I thought it would be painful, but really I think it will destroy me if you don’t want me, as a woman…but that isn’t something to worry about now, not yet…Soon, my love…Soon…and then my life will either be full of joy or shattered into pieces…either way, the waiting will be over.’

She stood and worked at getting his boots off, then his belt and with great difficult his jeans, leaving his shorts on and after an attempt at removing the tee shirt from his upper body {which had become very over-cooked spaghetti like} she smoothed it out and merely rolled him over, pulling his favorite red ‘blankie’ up to his neck.

Once more she smoothed his hair, noting that the few threads of silver at his temples were showing again.

‘I wish the stylists wouldn’t keep coloring these in…I think they make him look incredibly sexy and distinguished…when men get silver hair on their head is that the only place?...what about…. NO!!...that’s naughty….and thinking about peeking is even worse!! BEHAVE yourself!!! OMG …I’m supposed to tell Dr. S if I have thoughts like this…I’ll die of embarrassment!!....’

She beetled quickly from the room but couldn’t succeed in turning her mind off even after her teeth were brushed and she was tucked under her eider duvet with the monitor on…

For the first time in so long she couldn’t remember, she dreamed, erotic fantasies that made her moan in her sleep, of hazel eyes that looked into hers full of love and longing, long fingered hands that caressed her warm skin, that sensual mouth tasting hers, touching her as gently as a whisper of wind…and she woke from the dream, flushed, gasping, wanting to scream with the joy of what was missing from her dream for the first time in so many months …that evil presence that had at last left her in peace, at least for now.

**

It was a rather subdued Urs that wandered in for breakfast, much later than usual, missing his early bonding with Toni as well as his gym time. Not until after coffee and a light breakfast, a grunted greeting to Ciara’s cheery good morning, did he finally seem to be back to himself.

“I think I better work off some of that wine in the gym. Mein Gott what potent stuff that was…I don’t even remember going to bed last night.”

Mia grinned and thought about not telling him what happened but then figured he deserved to be teased.

“Actually, you didn’t…I found you sprawled sort of half on the bed and tucked you in…sorry about the tee shirt…you’re heavier than you look and I couldn’t get you upright to take it off.”

She had the gall to laugh when his face went red.

“Actually, I’m going to join you this morning…that second piece of birthday cake went straight to my hips, so I’d better compensate.”

They worked in companionable silence for a while, both going through their regular routines and trading places when Mia had warmed up on the treadmill, her least favorite of all the equipment. Urs set it to a faster pace and within minutes felt the sweat pouring out of him as he sped up, adjusting it just a shade faster. In twenty minutes he was soaked, his shirt drenched with sweat but he felt considerably better.

It was a few minutes before he registered the fact that Mia was no longer working out on the Universal. He turned his head from his mindless perusal of the fields outside the window and saw her watching him, her gaze serious, looking as if she had come to a decision about something.

“Why so serious, Little One? Is there a problem?” He gradually slowed his pace, re-setting the speed of the tread mill until it came to a gradual stop and he stepped off, taking the towel she offered to wipe his sweaty face.

“I have a favor to ask of you…I think I’m in good enough shape now to ask…will you teach me how to defend myself?”

‘What’s this all about? Does she feel threatened…by who…not Paco, surely not me…then who?...Is there some news of Bryan or her Dad?’

“Sure…but I don’t think you need to worry…no one here would ever dare to cause you any harm…and when we’re away you are usually with me or one of the crew. Has something happened that you haven’t told me about?”

She sighed and poured them each a juice, passing one to Urs and leaning back against the wall. She slid down to sit on the floor and looked up at him, her eyes big and dark, for the first time in months, filled with pain as they had been on that first night.

“No, nothing has happened. This isn’t a sudden urge, Urs. I thought about it a lot after….after Milo attacked me….how if I had known even the basics I could have maybe got away from him…. Then I realized what my father and brother were up to and I wanted to be strong and able to beat them senseless but of course I couldn’t…and then I realized that I was carrying Toni and nothing else was important after that.

“Urs, I think it’s time I told you what happened…you’ve been so patient, not prying, accepting me as I am… I know you would do anything to keep me safe but, please, try to understand…I need to know that I can attempt to protect Toni, should the need arise….if I tell you what happened maybe you can understand why I need to feel capable of being the Mother Bear you and Paco accuse me of acting at times.”

Urs sat beside her, both with their bare legs stretched out in front, not quite touching.

‘YES!!! Now she can finish healing…and she finally trusts me enough to open up…Mein Gott!!! I didn’t think she would ever let me in…nothing could be as bad as the terrible things I’ve imagined…should I say something?...no…just listen…I mean really what can I say that wouldn’t seem trite? Ah, Little One…if only you knew how much I love you…I would do anything for you…I think I would die for you if needs be….’

“You know about my Mom, how ill she was and for such a long time….she was in and out of hospital, operations, chemotherapy, finally all they could do was offer palliative care. The last months were terrible, days of pain that the drugs didn’t quite handle, mountains of laundry, bills that had to be paid, somehow …my Dad and Bryan were little help, especially after I learned that they had used a great deal of Mom’s personal funds to cover their lifestyle and try to bolster the mess they had made of the business.

“I was exhausted after she was gone…exhausted and strangely grateful, for her, that her torture was over. But I missed her so much…that brave smile, the little touches when she felt strong enough to move, the way her eyes would light up when I came into her room or when I showed her a sketch I was working on.

“A few months after Mom passed away, I caught the flu and was sick for nearly 2 months…I’d let myself get run down and paid for it by catching the first major bug that came along. I had just recovered nicely from that and was trying to get some work done when Dad told me that the business was going under and they had one last chance to interest an investor, an Italian man who was looking to diversify his investments in Canada. Dad asked me to go out to dinner with them…they wanted to show him a good time, to put him in a receptive mood to listen to their proposal.

“I agreed, not thinking that there would be any harm in a simple dinner. And the dinner was fairly pleasant…Milo was charming, very continental, gracious, perhaps a little too fond of the wine and after dinner drinks. Then he insisted that we all go dancing….I tried to get out of it but Bryan dug his fingers into my thigh under the table and frowned and I knew that if I disappointed Milo I would pay later at home. So we went clubbing.

“Somewhere along the way Milo got really drunk and I didn’t realize it but Bryan put something in his drink that made him kind of …randy…Dad and Bryan disappeared and so it was left to me to take him back to his hotel… he kept pawing at me but I was sober and though it creeped me out I was able to elude his hands…he gave me his keycard so I took him up to his room, opened the door, intending to leave immediately, but the next thing I knew I was on the floor of his suite with him stretched out on top of me….he was paunchy, tall, very heavy and…very violent.”

She drew her knees up and hugged them, her cheeks white as she remembered. Urs reached out and took her hand in his, not speaking, just sharing her pain and after a few moments she went on.

“It seemed like the night would never end…I wasn’t a virgin…I had experienced sex twice before, in high school, neither time very satisfying, just something that I got convinced to try and didn’t like much…this was different again than what they talk about in books…I didn’t know a man could use a woman that way, again and again…it was degrading, disgusting…. And painful, so painful…I begged, struggled, pleaded, tried to crawl away but someone caught my ankles and pulled me back…nothing worked to stop him and when I tried to scream he…or maybe someone else in the room. I was so out of it I couldn’t tell… choked me almost unconscious…for a while I wanted to die, then I passed out and when I came to it was to hear Dad and Bryan talking to Milo…they were threatening him, said they had a video tape of what he had done…I found some of my clothing and slipped past them but Bryan dragged me back and added to the bruises I had everywhere.

“It took me a long time to heal on the surface…Milo invested in the business and left for Italy. Eventually I tried to get on with my life, though I had no zest for existing, just going through the motions of breathing everyday…I tried to make some money so I could get away from Dad and Bryan…I overheard them talking with Bryan’s friend Harry, about how easy it had been to con Milo, how maybe they should try something like that again. That made me frantic to get away from them, and I nearly left without any means to support myself but they watched me like vultures, even having that despicable Harry keep an eye on me at times. I think along with the plans they were making they worried that even at this late date I would go to the police. The constant watching is how Bryan found the pregnancy test strip and knew that I was with child. They were ecstatic. And strangely so was I after the initial shock wore off…I had a purpose again, a reason to get some backbone and straighten my life out.

“When they contacted him, Milo offered to adopt the child, for a substantial fee of course….his wife and mistress were both barren and he was desperate for an heir…he would pay extra if the child was a boy…and so we left for Italy…once we were in Milan he came to see us at the hotel and insisted that I have an ultrasound to confirm the sex of the baby…he wanted me to move into his villa until the birth…Dad and Bryan agreed and they had a party to celebrate… while they were busy I slipped out…that’s why I brought so little with me.”

She seemed to become aware that Urs held her hand and turned to meet his glistening eyes, smiling lightly when she saw empathy only, no censure or judgment or pity.

“If they find me, they’ll try to take Toni….I couldn’t bear that, Urs!”

“No one is taking Toni from us!!! He belongs here, with you and I, where he’s loved….”

His fingers tightened almost painfully on hers and when she winced he loosened his grip, suddenly realizing what he had said.

“Aramia, I know and accept that Toni is your son, that any decisions about him should come from you…but you must know that I love him as if he were of my blood. This is OUR home, for as long as you wish it to be and if you ever decide to leave, you will take the best part of my life with you.”

‘Does that mean you love me? Say it…oh please say it!! I can’t tell you how my heart belongs to you…the words choke me, I’m so afraid you don’t feel the same…but if you say it, then perhaps I can…’ Her eyes pleaded with him but he misunderstood, thinking that she was just upset talking about this.

He rose to his feet and took her other hand to draw her up.

“Come on, Mother Bear…let’s start your first lesson.”

‘Keep it light, Buhler….Gott, how close I came to telling her how much I love her…..what would she have done, I wonder…started packing? No, I can’t mess up this therapy she’s going through …and I can’t risk losing her and Toni….it would kill me!!’

Once again the perfect moment was gone.

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

They had a fleeting two weeks to work out together, spending part of the time on the equipment, the rest on the mats with Urs showing Mia some moves that would help her defend herself. Because she was small he included movements meant to temporarily disable an attacker, just long enough for her to run…that was something she was good at he found when they ran daily to the mailbox and sometimes, even with his much longer legs, she could almost beat him.

August rolled around all too soon and he got ready to leave again, this time to Dublin, London and then Europe, even a performance in Russia that he was quite looking forward to since he had never been to Moscow before.

August 1st Mia took him to Luzern to catch his flight, without Toni this time since she had an appointment later in the afternoon with Dr. Stadtler. It would be a long separation this time with the Company criss-crossing Europe and Asia in hops from one major venue to another, only 2 o3 days off between performances for travel and rest.

“I’m very proud of you, you know,” he said as he hugged her while the porter waited patiently. “Keep up the good work with Dr. S. It seems to be working…you look better rested when you come to the gym in the mornings. No dreams?”

She smiled, almost as if she had a secret that wasn’t ready to be shared yet.

“Lots of dreams, but no nightmares. Maybe I can tell you about them when we meet you in Paris. I’ll miss you, Urs…it’s been fun having you home for so long.”

“I’ll miss you too, Little One…take care of yourself and our boy.”

He brushed his lips lightly over her mouth, not a real kiss since he knew that if he started he would never want to stop. One last brush of his palm across her cheek and he was gone.

**

Doctor Stadtler looked like a grandfather, with his hair snowy white and fine textured, cheeks rosy and eyes of such a bright, twinkling blue that you felt you could dive in.

He greeted Mia with a two handed clasp of her small extended hand and a warm smile that right from the first meeting had put her at ease.

“Well, my prettiest little patient…how did you do this past week? The camping trip went well?”

She smiled as they sat in the comfortable chairs, facing each other, knees almost touching and he waited with a gentle smile on his face for her response.

“Perfectly…he was very surprised and so pleased, even about taking Tante Sophia’s ashes up as he had promised…actually I think that was one of his favorite moments of the weekend. And I told him I was seeing you…he misunderstood, thought we were dating but then I explained and I think it made him very happy.”

“We people of the male gender tend to sometimes jump to conclusions…but you handled it, without tears I hope? Yes?...Very good and the other?”

“I told him about the assault and about my family…it was hard but he was very compassionate…he really is a good man, Dr. S, and very intuitive most of the time.”

“And how does that make you feel, Aramia?”

She hesitated for a moment then said in a voice just barely over a whisper…. “It makes me love him even more.”

“Ahh…we are back to whispering about feelings again…” he remarked with a gentle smile and she sighed then grinned.

“I love him even more, maybe because he’s a typical man sometimes, but mostly because he is the man I want in my life, now, next year, forever…there I said what is in my heart…and it felt good!”

Dr. S. reached over and patted her knee then leaned back in his chair to search her eyes.

“And the night terrors? What of them now that you are opening up to this man you love?”

Just thinking about it made Mia’s face flush but she met his eyes and admitted to having dreams rather than nightmares.

“After his birthday party …I had some naughty thoughts and then went to sleep and dreamed about …about Urs and I sharing love….I’ve done that before but you know how Milo’s face always crept in and I could hear him, feel him, feel the fear and pain…this time it was just Urs…it was wonderful…I woke up feeling so happy and aroused, not in the least frightened.”

“Ah, Fraulien…such progress…but no ultimate moment this time? In time, Liebe, in time…you must take baby steps before your mind is ready to let you be the woman you are capable of being. And now tell me about the lessons this man of your dreams is giving you in defending yourself.”

As always the hour with the sweet, wise man sped by and ran over but he said nothing, letting her share her feelings, her hopes, ending the session gently when she noticed that they had gone nearly 20 minutes past the end of the session. He walked her to the door and kissed her cheeks in the European manner.

“Your homework for this week is to think about what you would like to share with your man and when…perhaps when you meet him in Paris? The French claim it is the city of lovers…perhaps it will be the appropriate time…only you can decide if you are ready then. You have come so far, Aramia…you are my star patient!”

She could hardly wait to get home and chat with Urs online…and to have bedtime come and see if she dreamed again.

**

There is an old saying… ‘Real life is what happens when you are busy making plans’…and that is exactly what happened in the portion of the world that Urs and Mia inhabited.

The IM’s flew back and forth as always as Urs relayed what he was doing, sharing his experiences in Dublin, London, Stockholm, Copenhagen, Moscow and Prague. In Rome he claimed to be a little under the weather, probably just jet lag he said, but he would be home for ten days directly after and could get his body clock working again.

Mia arranged to meet him at the airport in Luzern, at their usual spot and saw him coming through the doors immediately. Quickly she slid down off her perch on the waste receptacle and made her way through the crowd until she reached his side.

He was leaning heavily on the luggage piled on the trolley and the nervous porter seemed relieved that someone had come to help him with the obviously very sick man.

His skin was ashen, eyes red and swollen nearly shut, his usually vibrant, strong body looking like at any moment he would collapse.

“I think I’m sick, Liebe…”

She draped his arm over her shoulder and moved him so he was actually sitting on the front piece of luggage.

“You…get a wheelchair and someone to help us get him to the car…Hurry!” she said in a firm voice to the porter and he didn’t even answer, just scurried away to do as she said.

“Why did they even let you on the plane in this shape?” she muttered just as one of the flight attendants came up beside her.

“Frau Buhler? I’m sorry I was distracted by a lady with 3 little ones…Herr Buhler wasn’t this ill when he boarded…he got progressively worse when we had to circle for a while and I would have helped…but the lady….”

“Thank you…the main thing now is to get him out of here and seen by someone…”

Urs was clutching feebly at her sleeve and she turned to face him.

“Just the flu…half the Company has it…want to go home.”

“Yes, Liebe…I’ll take you home…first you have to be a good boy and get in this wheelchair to go to the car…”

“Can walk…” he said and tried to stand but his legs were like rubber and wouldn’t hold him.

“Wheelchair or ambulance and stretcher…your choice, Sport!!”

“Bossy woman,” he muttered as he allowed the porters to assist him into the chair.

Without further problems they made it to the Audi in the lot and installed him in the back seat, lying down with the emergency blanket from the boot tucked up under his chin.

Before she left the parking area Mia phoned home to alert Matt and Ciara.

Twice on the short drive she had to pull over and assist him as his stomach rebelled and he heaved into the plastic bag she had placed next to him, just in case. She helped him sit up a little and rinse his mouth, spit into a plastic cup and when he had collapsed again, grimaced as she put the vomit and plastic in another bag in the boot so the car wouldn’t smell.

He was a terrible patient she found after Matt carried him up to his bedroom and the doctor arrived, diagnosing himself, though he was correct but he didn’t need to give the poor man such a hard time…there wasn’t much he could do except keep up his fluid levels, sleep it off and try to make it to the Loo to empty his stomach or at least use the basin Mia put on a chair beside his bed.

And then it only got worse.

After the nausea passed and he was just weak, fevered and tired, he became a master at demanding attention, especially when he wasn’t even aware of who was there or where he was, whining when he was left alone, when it was too soon for more headache medication, the music was too soft, the music was too loud, the soup too thin, what in H**l was that stuff floating in the soup, of course I can get up, I don’t need any help…just before collapsing on the floor in a heap and going all rubbery when Mia tried to get him back into bed.

The fourth day he woke and it was over…he was thinner, still weak but back to his old self, no headache or fever, ravenous…and remembering almost everything that had happened. He looked around his dark bedroom and spotted Mia curled up in exhaustion on the loveseat by the fireplace. A wave of remorse swept over him…

‘I should be taken out and shot…she was trying to care for me and all I did was give her a hard time…Gott I was such an over bearing pig!! How could I treat her like that…Look at her…she looks like she hasn’t had more than a couple of hours sleep for days…and having to take care of Toni too… Two babies and the big one was the worse…’

He sighed and rolled over, thinking about getting up for a trip to the Loo but she heard him and came over immediately.

“Urs…what are you doing? Not again…I can’t pick you up, Liebe…please just wait while I call Matt.”

“Just help me sit up….Mia I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you…so sorry…you must hate me…”

She smiled and put her palm on his forehead.

“Your fever is down…How do you feel?”

“Like I went 3 rounds with a bus…and lost…”

She grinned and reached her little hands out to clasp him under his arms.

“Put your arms around my neck and I’ll help you sit…but no standing!!....I’ll get Matt to help you walk.”

He lifted his arm, which felt like it weighted about 300 pounds, and lay it over her shoulder, his fingers lost in her curly hair…. and she heaved him upright. For a minute a wave of dizziness assailed him and he groaned, burying his face against her neck until his head stopped swirling.

“I don’t hate you…far from it, Urs,” she murmured and turned her head to gently kiss his cheek before resting her hands on his shoulders and checking to see how he was coping with being upright.

“I’ll just slip downstairs and fetch Matt…Ciara caught this bug too, 24 hours after you got home and he’s been taking care of her. Promise me you won’t try to stand up alone?”

“Sitting made me dizzy so I promise,” he said and modestly pulled the red blanket over his lap.

Mia smiled as she left the room, wondering if he would ever remember that she had been the one who gave him sponge baths for the last four days.

‘Well at least that solves one mystery …body hair does change color too…”

She giggled as she went down the stairs, storing the memory away for another time.

**

Urs recovered gradually and by the time he had to make a decision about the performance in Paris, so had the rest of the Company. They decided to go ahead with the show which was good news, the bad news was that Mia wouldn’t be able to go.

She had avoided catching the bug, as had Matt but Toni caught it even though they had at first kept him away from Urs and Ciara. He was miserable, fretting and to make matters worse his upper teeth choose this time to make an appearance…double whammy for the poor wee boy.

Urs got ready to go but his heart definitely was not in it. Mia was bone weary, tired out from nursing him and now to have Toni sick….he considered have his understudy take over for him but Mia put her foot down.

“The patrons have paid good money to hear and see you, Urs, not your understudy…people don’t mind if the sub does a matinee now and then but the main performance…I thought you were more of a trouper than this. Trust me to take care of him…it won’t last forever you know and he doesn’t have as bad a dose of flu as you did. Please!!...GO!!! I don’t need any more on my plate at the moment…there’s no room for the guilt of making you miss a commitment.”

And so he went but called home daily and when she had a spare moment Mia talked to him via IM. Sure enough the flu only lasted a few days, the teething slightly longer and it wasn’t as bad as the time in L.A.

**

“Both you and Ciara need a break,” Mami said firmly as the last concerts, the two in Geneva, drew closer. “Let me take Toni for the weekend, I haven’t had a chance to play with him for so long and he keeps changing every time I blink…pretty soon he won’t even be a baby any longer.”

“I need to go anyway to take some papers in to Nate but I was planning on taking Toni…alright…it will be nice to have some ‘ME’ time…and there was something I wanted to talk to Urs about in Paris and we never got around to it with him being sick and all.
Thank you Anya. I’ll drive up then we’ll have the Audi to come home in after the second concert.”

‘If this still is my home….I can’t put it off any longer…oh Urs, please, don’t be angry with me or reject me when I tell you how much I love you….’

She caught him on IM that very night.

Selene says: Change of plans…Toni is staying with Mami for the weekend to give Ciara and I some free time. I’ll drive up on Friday and should get to the condo after you have to go for rehearsal, so I’m going to drop those papers off at Nate’s office and do some shopping before I come to the Grand…don’t book a seat for me…I’ll come backstage and catch the last performance on Saturday.

Nature Boy says: Wonderful…I’m anxious to see Toni but you deserve a weekend off and I really want to spend some time with you. Let’s not go back until Monday, then we can spend all day Sunday catching up or just being tourists…remember that art colony you wanted to see? We could do that…

Selene says: Oh yes, Please!! I’m really looking forward to the drive…it’s been cool enough that the trees are starting to change color…Dr. S. made the trip a couple of days ago and he says to remember to take a camera…I had to call and cancel my Friday appointment but he’s so sweet, he didn’t mind.

Nature Boy says: Psychologists aren’t supposed to be sweet… they’re supposed to be stern and wise…

Selene says: Well he’s wise too but sweet…he reminds me of a grandfather…if I ever had one, which I didn’t…no one ever talked about why …maybe they didn’t approve of Mom marrying Dad.

Nature Boy says: Very discerning relatives…we’ll have to look them up…Liebe I have to go…we’ve been having problems with the lighting and the techie is here to talk about it…Tomorrow I’m rehearsing in the evening so may not catch you…if not, then I’ll see you Friday…I can hardly wait to see your sweet face again.

He signed off with a quick line of purple X’s and Mia smiled as she sat back staring at the screen.

**

Nate wasn’t in when she dropped by his office so Mia left the papers with his secretary and drove off to a shopping complex. It was later than she had expected since the trip had been lovely and with her day spread out before her with few responsibilities she had taken her time, stopping to take photos, again for lunch at an outdoor café, once even to take photos of the Brown Swiss cows she thought were so pretty, this time a funny picture of a small group of them, all with their butts to the camera, in a circle.

She found just the store she wanted, one that sold lingerie and spent both an enormous amount of money and quite a bit of time, trying on bras and sexy nighties, blushing furiously at the skimpy panties, actually feeling very sensual in one of the lacy bustiers and matching garter belts.

‘I just hope I get a chance to wear this stuff…gott…you’d think I was a virgin, I’m so nervous…what if he doesn’t want me? Well with all of this I’ll be the sexiest reject in the world…and the unhappiest.’

She paid for the lot and asked to have it sent to the condo, not wanting to take it to the Grand.

Mission accomplished she started down the concourse, wending her way to the lifts for the parking garage, happy, smiling and humming one of the Arias that Urs was likely singing right about now.

“B**CH!!!!”

CHAPTER FORTY…….. ‘I FOUND YOU!!’

“B**ch!!!”

It took a few seconds for the word to register in her mind, moments when the prevailing thought was that her arm hurt…someone had grabbed her, hard, the fingers biting into her flesh.

Automatically she reacted, using the lessons Urs had taught her, whirling towards the attacker rather than away and turning to bring her stiffened arm down on his with a force that would break the pressure.

Then the voice screamed in her head as she recognized it, recognized the bitterness and saw the snarling face of her brother looming over her…BRYAN!!

From old habit she blanched and felt weakness overcome her but her new training followed through and she chopped at his throat with the side of her hand, stunning him momentarily, just long enough to get away.

She rushed through the throng of people in the concourse, keeping low, blindly looking for someone in uniform, security, police, even as Urs had mentioned, military, trusting that their training would overcome the unexpected……but she saw nothing but families, elders, mothers and children, annoyed people who shot her perturbed looks as she jostled them in her haste.

People parted in panic when they saw the pretty but wild-eyed woman rushing down the concourse, some angry when she nudged them and didn’t apologize, all slow to react until they noticed the large, enraged burly man chasing the small, well-dressed woman and much too late to help, even if they had been inclined.

Mia could hear the comments behind her, the yells at Bryan as he bulled his way after her, but she didn’t look back, intent only on flight, her legs flashing as she twisted through the people, depending on speed to escape.

The elevator to the car park loomed ahead and for a heart beat she considered it…Urs admonition screamed at her…. ‘use the stairs when you can…lifts are perfect places to get yourself trapped’…

She straight-armed the neighboring door to the stair well and clattered down them, her focus sharp, keyed on reaching level P3 and the possible safety of the car.

‘P3…Yes!! Keys…press the button…open the car door…the other one to start the motor….there it is…oh you beautiful car…if I can just get out of here, reach Urs….no, he’ll be right in the middle of Act Two…no matter…I can wait in the dressing room…there are guards on the door…Piers should be there, he’s older but such a big, intimidating guard….and I’ll be safe, just being near Urs….Mein Gott how did he find me? Does he know about Urs, about where we live…WHERE Toni IS?...oh please God don’t let him know where our son is!!!’

She slipped out of her high heels with the irrational thought that she was lucky not to have broken an ankle yet, didn’t bother to collect them from the floor, just raced across the parking area to the car and threw herself inside, the thought that she had once again called Toni ‘OUR SON’ escaping her conscious thought completely as she operated in controlled panic mode.

‘Now…doors locked, get out of here…but carefully…don’t draw attention to yourself…move your arse, damn it….why does there have to be so many people wanting to leave right now?...and can’t they move any faster…where is he?...I didn’t hear him coming into this level….calm, girl…you can panic later….what would Urs do now?...all those times when he didn’t feel like being recognized by fans…Disguise!!!...what do I have?... sunglasses …that’s good…ah Scheisse!!!...I need money for the parking fee….Thank you, you lovely Swiss man…he has parking money in the little cup holder…’

While the line up to pay for parking held her up she felt around in the back seat and came up with a baseball cap, one of Urs props, the adjustable band set large to allow him to push his hair up inside. She crammed it on her head and worked at covering her hair, abandoned the attempt when she needed to move the car forward, leaving it to the last minute to roll the window down to pay at the kiosk, considered asking the attendant for help but he was a pimply faced youth and wouldn’t do much except panic.

She waved away the need for change and stared at the metal bar obstructing her exit, willing it to move upwards…a movement behind her showed another vehicle pulling into place right in back and her heart skipped as she recognized the hulking shape of her brother glaring at her through the windshield.

‘Dear Jesuiten….can he break the windows and get to me? If he does will the boy in the kiosk call the politzei?”

The bar went up and she zoomed through, praying that there would be little traffic as she made a snap right turn and merged onto the main street. Brakes squealed, horns blared but there was no shriek of metal against metal…she had made it…now to get away before Bryan could follow.

She took a couple of deep, calming breaths. Lights…it was night and she had neglected to turn on her headlamps, trusting only to the day-time lights that came on automatically. She clicked them on, not wanting to attract attention to herself.

‘But if I see a politzei car or an officer….it will be hard to explain but I don’t care…the main thing is to get away and protect Toni….Urs will know what to do…OH Urs, I need you, need your strength and calm….’

It was full dark now…she glanced at the clock built into the dash and mentally worked out how far along the performance would be.

‘Yes…second act…he should be just about ready for his aria now…I do hope that Stan remembered to tape it for me…FOOL!!
Concentrate on the problem at hand…What was the vehicle Bryan was driving? Damn…I’m no good at recognizing cars…what color?...black I think…well, that really narrows it down…only every other car here is black!...Alright, then watch for someone driving crazy…he drives like a maniac even when he isn’t angry… Scheisse!!.... What will he do if he catches up?...What will he do to Urs if I lead him to the Theater?....Bryan is bigger…but Urs is disciplined…he would never let anger diminish his ability to protect himself…or me…what if he gets hit in the throat?......Oh Gott… I can’t lead Bryan there…what if Urs gets injured, can’t sing anymore?...I must be very sure he isn’t following before I attempt to get to Urs.’

She switched off the GPS navigator and drove in a course that appeared aimless, turning right several times, doubling back on her route, watching for any tell tale signs that she was being followed. After half an hour of evasive movements she relaxed a bit and headed in the general direction of the Theater, circling it twice but unable to detect any danger.

‘So many cars…and so many of them black…why is it that the well- to-do choose black vehicles? Is it a rule or something? No-one sitting in any of them though…does that mean I lost him? I can’t take the chance…he might be in the parking lot and he’ll see me parking…if I park here it’s only 2 short blocks to the stage entrance….I can sprint that far, even barefoot…I could always run faster than Bryan…damn, those were my favorite shoes and that shade of brown was perfect with this suit….Dear Gott…am I hysterical? ...worrying about a ruddy pair of shoes at a time like this….BUY New Ones, you fool!!! There, I’ll park there.’

She eased the car into place, turned off the motor and sat for a few minutes, checking out her surroundings, back, front, sides, as far as she could see in the glow of the streetlights. There was no movement, not even a casual stroller out walking his dog.

Her handbag had spilled the contents on the floor when she flung it to the passenger side while entering the car…she fished her wallet out of the mess, put it in the pocket of her light brown suit jacket, clenched her keys in one white knuckled fist and eased the door open.

It was quiet, only the hum of the street lights audible as she quietly shut the door and engaged the lock. Most of the buildings along this area of the street where businesses, closed for hours and dark except for the neon signs that beckoned….restaurants, hair salons, dry cleaners, book store…

She stepped to the sidewalk and started out, breaking into a jog but impeded by her short, tight skirt….still moving, she pulled the skirt up at the waist, freeing her legs, and lengthened her stride, watching as well as she could in all direction except behind, though she was listening intently for any following sounds….it wouldn’t do, not now, to stumble, to become vulnerable.

One block…no cross traffic, still no sign of anyone…she raced on, reminding herself to breathe….there just ahead…the turn into the alley that lead to the stage door. She made the turn and felt relief at the sight of the steps leading up to the single light over the small door, further on the trucks were backed into the large loading bays for scenery that would need to be transported to storage tomorrow.

‘Why did they wash the trucks this late at night?…the pavement is all wet.’

The irrational thought flit through her conscious mind, just before she realized that she was face down in the alley, a heavy weight on her back from whoever had tackled her from the darkness by the dumpster, bearing her to the ground, driving the breath from her already straining lungs.

“Did you think you got away, Little Sister?”

Bryan yanked her head back, painfully pulling at her hair after cuffing the cap away with one meaty hand.

“I knew where you were going….have been watching you for hours, all the way from the lawyers office, waiting to get you alone…just came here and waited…. you’re going to pay, little sister…you’re going to pay and you’re going to tell me where the kid is…Milo still wants him…and I’m going to enjoy making you tell me.”

‘Stall….try to calm him down….where is Dad? He was the only one who could ever control Bryan….don’t think of the pain….think about Toni, about Urs….’

“He’s your nephew, Bryan….you can’t want him to live with a man like that….talk to Dad…he won’t want you to do this…”

He snarled and dug his fingers into her shoulder to roll her over, rising and placing one heavily booted foot on her stomach.

“Dad?....I don’t talk to dead people, you little c**t….he rammed the car into a telephone pole a few months back….never could handle his booze….so now you get to deal with me.”

She tensed her stomach muscles as he leaned on her, increasing the weight on her body.

A cold calm came over Mia as she realized that it was up to her now…no rescue was coming, nothing to look forward to except pain…instinct and the training Urs had given her took over and her strong legs lashed out and up, driving into his groin. Bryan screamed and stumbled back, allowing her to roll away and scramble to her feet.

It hadn’t been a good blow, just enough to disable him for a moment since the angle was all wrong, but she was desperate and flew down the alley, her eyes fixed on the beacon of the stage door.

She had reached the steps, grabbing for the railing with her left hand, when he caught her again, pulling her back, wrenching her around so that her hand caught in the curled end of the metal railing. He kicked her wrist loose…she felt a burning pain throb through her hand and up her arm as he pushed her, throwing her face first into the rough cement of the wall, his other hand again in her hair, grinding her cheek against the wall. She felt the warmth of blood seeping down her neck as she tried to catch her breath, groaning as he drove his fists into her back, punching her in his rage, again and again, putting his whole body into each blow. She felt something inside snap, the pain a stab of heat that seared through her side and chest but she had no breath to cry out, the blows from his huge fists nearly constant.

He was panting with the effort, his breath hot and fetid against her head as he leaned on her, spewing hatred, one hand going to her neck and gripping painfully as he pulled her towards him then slammed her face against the rough wall again. He braced his knee in her back and wound his fists in the back of her jacket and shirt, ripping them so that her flesh was exposed and the useless remnants hung in tatters from her arms. She felt something sharp against her skin, then the burn of a quick slice and the coppery scent of blood that reached her nostrils.

“I’ll find him…even without you, I’ll find him…I need that money, you selfish w**re…I can live a long time on what he’s willing to pay for the little b**tard!!!.....it took time but I found you, thanks to that photo in the paper…it’s just a matter of time before I find him.”

Mia struggled to get away, succeeded in gaining the first step of the stairs but he threw her down again, holding her by the hair and banging her face against the rough surface. He tore at her clothing, ripping her skirt, kneeling against her legs and grinding them into the steps, the thin panty hose little protection against the gritty surface. A warmth spread across her back, the pain a delayed reaction as he slashed at her wildly, cursing in a low monotone that she had difficulty understanding. Once more he yanked at her shoulder, rolling her over, leaving the remnants of her bloodstained shirt and jacket on the stairs as he turned her body against the rough concrete.

‘A knife…he has a knife…and he cut me…Oh My god….he’s insane…..’

He leaned in to spew more hatred at her and she reacted, raising her hands, digging her nails into his face and gouging at his eyes with her thumbs…he slashed at her, connecting with her upper arm, then twice across her chest, cutting through the lacy bra, before the pain became unbearable and he dropped the knife to clutch at her hands on his face.

Immediately she dropped her hands and slid out from under him, existing on pure adrenaline now, leaping up the last few steps and wrenching the door open…it swooshed shut behind her as she faced Piers, the startled, thankfully huge, security guard lounging in a chair just inside the door.

“Help me…” she managed as her strength faded and she lurched towards him. She was vaguely aware of crumpling to the floor, of the guard facing someone who opened the door, then the door slamming shut and the lock snicking into place. Then footsteps and Piers was kneeling beside her, speaking softly. In the background she could hear Urs finishing his Aria, heard the swell of the orchestra as the final scene ended.

“Don’t interrupt him…take me to the dressing room…and loan me your jacket….Please.”

Shock and pain had her fading in and out as the guard picked her up, his jacket wrapped around her nearly naked, bloody, upper body. Time had little meaning to her…one moment she was floating in the air, the next she lay on her side on the soft sofa in the dressing room while the guard talked quietly on his radio.

The speaker above the makeup table emitted the roar of the audience as they asked for another bow and she smiled as she thought that Urs and the Company had achieved another triumph. She was beyond pain now, shock and blood loss taking its toll, making it impossible to concentrate, so she closed her eyes and let herself drift on a sea of darkness.

**

“Aramia!! Stay with me….Don’t leave me, Little One….stay with me…Help is coming….Mia…who did this to you? Talk to me, Please, Mein Liebe, talk to me…”

She opened her eyes to look into his dear face, still in makeup, tracks of tears running in streaks down his cheeks. It came back to her with a nearly physical blow, what had happened, and there was panic in her voice when she spoke.

“Bryan…Urs, don’t let him find Toni…he said he’ll find him and sell him to Milo…. Urs, he’s crazy… insane with anger….he has a knife….promise me you won’t let him take Toni away from us…” she clutched at the front of his military uniform, the costume for his role and he grasped her hand firmly in both of his, desperately wanting to comfort her and not sure how.

“We won’t let that happen, Liebe….Toni is safe for now….we’ll figure something out… you and I together, we make an unbeatable team….Now promise me you’ll be a good girl and get better…the medics are coming…I’ll follow you as soon as I change…”

She collapsed back against the cushions and managed a small smile as he brushed his hand gently over her hair.

“No blinky winks at the nurses, Herr Buhler.”

He winked at her and tried to smile.

“Only at you, Little One.”

The medics tried to be gentle but the pain of compresses on her wounds was too much and she escaped into blackness.

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

It had been a marvelous success, every voice perfect, the venue filling with the melodious Donizetti score, the audience rapt and appreciative, at the end, on their feet and asking for curtain call after curtain call. Finally the curtain closed on the cast for the final time and the performers were able to congratulate each other, laughing, hugging and dancing about with pleasure as they made their way to the wings.

Urs spotted Stan waving frantically to him…no smiles on his beefy face… ‘it was outstanding and SRO…why doesn’t he look happy?’

“Urs there’s been some trouble…come with me…quickly…” Stan said as Urs approached, grasping his arm and pulling him toward the dressing room.

“Trouble? What do you mean? What’s happened?”

The questions came fast but softly, his usual reticence of public exhibitions, so at odds with his profession but a part of his private nature, making him want to keep the conversation subdued.

“Aramia…someone attacked her…Security brought her in to the dressing room…Urs, he says it’s bad…”

No more thoughts of keeping this private, Urs pushed past Stan and barreled down the crowded passage way, a chorus of ‘Hey’s and ‘Watch it!’ s in his wake as he pushed his way through…he burst in to the dressing room, not even bothering to shut the door behind him, for a moment frozen in disbelief at the sight before him.

Mia was slumped on the soft sofa where he usually relaxed, readying himself for the performance, splatters of blood everywhere, with the Security guard who was an institution at the Grand, Piers, kneeling at her side, gently holding a blood soaked towel against her chest, another at her back, his pale grey shirt stained, more on his hands, his bloodied jacket discarded on the floor, a look of sheer panic on his face when he turned his head to see who had come in the room.

“I can’t stop the bleeding….the medics are on the way….I didn’t hear a thing…He was a big guy…he tried to come in, took one look at me and bolted….I think I hurt her, trying to stop the bleeding….”

Later he didn’t remember moving to her side, nor pushing the older man away from her and lifting the bloody towel to look at her wound. He knew that it had spurted, coating his hands and that suddenly a slender pair of hands discarded the towel and pressed a clean one firmly over the gaping wound…Jadis, one of the girls from the chorus, moonlighting as a singer to pay her way through nursing school…her training had taken over and she quietly ordered the shaken guard to clear the hall, not talk to anyone about what had happened, and to bring the medics in .

“Move to the side, Herr Buhler…let me help her…she’s in shock, prop her feet up higher…..”

He obeyed, yanking the cushion off of the lounge chair and raising her legs to rest on it. He groaned at the sight of the scrapes on her legs, nearly lost it when the young nurse/singer told him to get more towels, though he wasn’t aware of it, his emotions making him shake as he crouched beside Mia and tentatively reached out to touch her face.

“Talk to her…don’t let her give up…”

‘Give up? Like …DIE? That’s not an option…she doesn’t even know how much I love her…she can’t leave us…I need her…Toni needs her…’

He searched for calm, drawing in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, leaning closer to speak to her, watching her closed eyes for a sign that she heard him.

“Aramia!! Stay with me….Don’t leave me, Little One….stay with me…Help is coming….Mia…who did this to you? Talk to me, Please, Mein Liebe, talk to me…”

Her eyelids fluttered and she opened them slowly…they were filled with pain, confusion, fear, faded to grey, glistening with unshed tears but aware as she met his gaze and clutched weakly at the front of his uniform.

“Bryan…Urs, don’t let him find Toni…he said he’ll find him and sell him to Milo…. Urs, he’s crazy, insane with anger….he has a knife…promise me you won’t…. let him take Toni away from us…”

‘Bryan…her despicable family again…how did he find her? How could he do this?…later…time for anger later…now I have to help her…I can’t lose her, not Mia, not after waiting so long…’

“We won’t let that happen, Liebe….Toni is safe for now….we’ll figure something out… you and I together, we make an unbeatable team….Now promise me you’ll be a good girl and get better…the medics are coming…I’ll follow you as soon as I change…”

The tension left her. She tried to make a joke, something about his winking at the nurses, then the room became filled with the medical team…they forcibly moved him out of the way and talked softly to Jadis as she told them what she had done to stop the bleeding. Her fast action had meant that the deepest wounds had nicked an artery and hadn’t had a chance to bleed out….. it wasn’t until much later that Urs realized that the pretty young nurse/singer had likely saved Mia’s life.

The medics now attended to her wounds, fast and efficient, ignoring her moans from the pain they inflicted, like knives slicing into him as he watched, helpless… in mere minutes they were ready to transport her, unconscious, to the nearest hospital.

**

He stripped to shorts and cleaned off most of the stage makeup in record time, not aware, or concerned, that there were still people in the room and the door was gaping open. He was pulling on his jeans, didn’t bother with the buttons, just thrust his tee shirt on, slid his feet into boots and was trying to sort out how to get to the hospital, if he should call anyone, the car…where in h*ll was the car?...and where was the hospital…he had never needed one…all these years in and out of Geneva and he had only a vague recollection of where it was…then a voice registered through the feverish thoughts jumbling his mind….

“I’ll drive you, Herr Buhler…if you’re ready?” A leather folder was offered with ID and a shield that identified him as a police officer.

Urs hands didn’t stop but he looked up to see a man in a dark suit, obviously police, even without the offered ID.…he finished doing up his jeans, rolled his belt into a bundle and thrust it in his jacket pocket and headed for the door.

“Hurry…where did they take her?”

“Sisters A and E…my car is right by the exit… be careful, the stairs are slippery…”

The crowded hall way full of cast and crew quieted and parted as they made their way quickly to the door. Urs paled and his throat felt tight as he saw the blood…on the floor, the door, the steps and wall. Later…he would think about it later.

They sped to the hospital, siren wailing in the piercing ululating manner of European police cars but Urs was deaf to it…he kept thinking about what Mia had said, how she had looked, how she had tried to ease his mind with a small, brave joke.

“I’ll have some questions for you, later…the important one now is…did the lady say who did this?”

“Her brother…Bryan Kramer…I don’t know much about him except that he’s big, older than Aramia, Canadian, vicious…how far is this place?”

“We’re almost there…one more block.”

They pulled into the parking area and Urs was out of the car, jogging toward the entrance before the motor had died. He paused in the lobby, unsure where to go.

“This way,” the officer said as he caught up and motioned to the left, preceding Urs and flashing his shield at the security guard on the sliding doors.

“The lady that was just brought in from the Grand…where is she?”

“Surgical One, Officer.”

They could hear some sort of commotion inside the room. Urs pushed the door open enough that they could see inside, then quickly strode to the high table where Mia was flailing weakly at several people wearing scrubs.

One of the women looked up and was about to snap some order at him but quieted when he spoke to Mia and she stopped resisting, trying to focus her eyes on his face.

“Hey!!!…let them help you Mia…you promised me, remember? Toni is fine…I’ll call Mami right now, while these kind people stitch you up….no one will get past Mami, you know that…and I’ll be right outside, so you better behave.”

Her cheek was swollen, bloody but he still could see the smile creep slowly across her face as she relaxed.

“You really are cute when you try to be bossy…Urs…is this a nightmare?...I opened my eyes and saw all these faces…I couldn’t tell if Bryan was still…his eyes…I think I hurt his eyes….”

Her pain filled eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out again.

“She’s out…start a drip to keep her quiet until we do some repairs…Sir, thank you…now perhaps you could wait outside.”

One of the nurses escorted him out of the room and down the hall, the officer trailing along behind. They entered a small waiting room and she left them, saying that the doctor would come to speak to them once he had stopped the bleeding and assessed the injuries.

Urs sank into the nearest chair and leaned his head back against the wall, taking deep, calming breaths, after a couple of minutes sitting up and speaking to the patiently waiting policeman.

“I have to make a couple of call, to my mother and brother, about our son. Then I’ll answer the questions you’ve been kind enough to hold back.”

They walked outside and Urs pulled his mobile out of his inside pocket, zipping the leather jacket up again against the cool night air.

There was a tinge of worry in Mami’s voice when she answered the phone, just as he knew there would be…no-one would call her at this time of night except in an emergency.

As gently as possible he explained what had happened, not going into detail about why Bryan was treating Mia this way and promising to explain everything when things had calmed down.

“There’s a good chance he may come after Toni…so I want you to leave…do it now, in the next few minutes…take Toni and go somewhere, don’t tell me where, just somewhere that no one would think of you going…I’m going to call Paco and ask him to pick you up, to stay with you and call me when you get settled in….this is serious, Mami…we need to know that both you and Toni are safe.”

“Give Aramia my love…and tell Paco that Toni and I will be ready when he gets here. I love you, Urs.”

His call to Paco was much the same, even less explanation but with the same response and he heaved a sigh of relief when he closed the mobile and returned it to his pocket.

“Let’s get some coffee from the machine and then we’ll talk,” the officer said, then stuck out his hand. “Steve Warkel, Detective with the Geneva Politzei…we didn’t really have time for introductions earlier, Herr Buhler.”

Urs shook his hand and they went back inside.

“Call me Urs, Steve…I have a feeling we are going to spend a bit of time together…at least tonight.”

**

Steve leaned back in the plastic covered chair, thinking about everything that Urs had told him. The distraught singer had held nothing back, not revealing anything private about himself or Mia but touching on all that he knew about the relationship of her family and the events that had led up to this attack.

Steve was not naïve, had seen everything, he thought, but this was something that he had never had to deal with before…and he knew that this was the fodder that sold those dreadful tabloids.

“I think we need to downplay the fact that Fraulein Kramer is your assistant…it’s an unnecessary part of the whole equation as regards the actual crime and if the tabloids got hold of it they would blow the connection all out of proportion…as it is, the facts of what has happened and the motive, is a stigma that could follow the little boy years into the future and he deserves better than that.”

“I intend to be involved in his life as much as Mia will allow… they both are very precious to me and I don’t give a damn about the bad press…except if it will hurt either of them. They’ve done nothing wrong…so do you mean to just let him go? How can you? You’ve seen what he did to her…what if he tries again?”

“NO! Definitely not!” Steve assured him hurriedly, hastening to explain what he meant when he saw the anger that sparked Urs eyes and made his face suffuse with color.

“I just mean that we will be discrete about our investigation … check passport control, hotels, car rentals, to see if we can find him, though he’s likely long gone….a violent man like that could easily have other infractions that we could get him into gaol on, saving Fraulein Kramer from having to face him in court. In the mean time I would suggest that you be very conscious of security …it seems he has made the connection between you …perhaps he has even found out where you live…I don’t know what your calendar is like but it may not be a bad idea to either hire security or just disappear for a while… if possible, go somewhere private, quiet, secure…let no-one know where you are…except me of course, and give her time to heal.”

Urs looked at him thoughtfully for a moment then smiled a mirthless smile that did nothing to warm the look in his eyes.

“I have a few commitments over the next months…but I could manage to put them off…or…”

It was obvious that an idea had come to him as he broke off his conversation and became distant, clearly mulling over something.

“Yes, that might work,” he muttered, as if speaking to himself.

“I have an idea…let me work on it and run it past Mia and I’ll get back to you.”

It was clear by the firmness of his tone that he would not divulge anything further. Just then the doctor came out of the treatment room and approached.

Introductions were quickly made, then the tired man sat on the next chair to give them the news.

“Your young friend is very fortunate…it’s obvious the attack was vicious but fighting back saved her from more serious injuries …we’ll have to cast the fractured left wrist and have already strapped her ribs…2 are cracked…the bleeding was profuse from the slashes, all rather deep, done with great force, the one on her back especially so and we’ve stitched them up…it could have been much worse except as I understand it one of our student nurses was on site and administered first aid that in all likelihood saved her life…..she should heal nicely in about a month. Of course the bruising to 60% of her body will be painful for some time but will heal and fade in time, as will the numerous scrapes, face, arms, hands, legs…I would say she is one very lucky young woman.”

Urs felt a mixture of relief and anger as the doctor related the extent of the damage Bryan had done to her. Next to him Steve queried the doctor.

“I would like to talk to Fraulien Kramer…when would this be possible?”

“She was understandably distraught so we kept her sedated after Herr Buhler left…she’s still sleeping…you can see her if you like once the nurses have taken her to her room, but I doubt she will wake for several hours. And I believe reception would like some information, if you wouldn’t mind…I’ll ask the clerk to come here rather than at the desk…a bit more privacy.”

Urs thanked the doctor and nodded when the man left, saying that a nurse would come for them when Mia had been transferred to the surgical floor.

Steve left him after the clerk came to take down the information needed: name, age etc. and most important for her records, who would be responsible for the bills.

He had jotted down the vital statistics so Urs wouldn’t have to repeat them, silently agreeing when Urs said he preferred not to give an address other than his lawyer’s office. Steve rose and went to get more coffee, almost bumping into Stan as the little man bustled into the waiting area.

Urs related what news he had, waiting for the question he knew was coming.

“Tonight’s performance…will you go on…or do we have to use the understudy?”

Urs shrugged his shoulders, not having a definitive answer yet.

“He should probably get ready, just in case…I’m going to tell her that I’ll stay with her but she knows about tonight’s show and won’t let me miss it, I know just how she’ll react. She has a very strong sense of duty and would call me on letting down the patrons and the rest of the company.”

Steve came back with the coffees and Urs gave his to Stan, requesting some privacy as he made a few phone calls. He went outside again and left the two men.

“How long have you been his agent/manager?” Steve asked.

“About a year, I think. He’s a good man to work with…very popular in the Opera world, very much in demand…he doesn’t work nearly as much as he could…prefers to take time off to ‘just enjoy life’ as he says. And Mia is a lovely lady…very efficient, very organized…and very protective of him. She manages to juggle his schedule so that he has time to relax between roles, at some private retreat he has or going on a tour on one of his motor bikes…and she also has a son, less than a year old I think, no, not his so I’ve been told, though he is treated as Urs’ son….. and she has a business as an artist or something as well. Did she know who did this terrible thing?”

Steve avoided answering directly.

“It’s early yet…I haven’t had a chance to talk to the lady…it might be a good idea to downplay the connection with Herr Buhler, for the time being…if the tabloids got hold of it, the publicity would not be good for him or for the Theater…they always manage to put a nasty slant on the facts.”

Stan paled. He was a nice little man but the bottom line, to him at least, after all was said and done, was the dollar amount at the bottom of the balance sheet.

“Ja, Ja!! Perhaps it could be reported by the Grand as a mugging of a staff member, just a small article that won’t be noticed by many….I’ll arrange it. I must go…it’s very late but perhaps I can catch the Director before he retires.”

With that he was gone, leaving Steve grinning and shaking his head…well that had been easy enough…now he just had to tackle the reporters on the Crime beat.

Urs came back, looking both smug and apprehensive.

“I think I’ve managed to make some arrangements…now it’s going to be a matter of convincing Mia.”

“She may not be in a rational enough state to make such important decisions at the moment….perhaps you could convince her to let you take charge.”

They settled down to wait.

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

It was only a short wait but it seemed hours to Urs until the nurse approached and told them that she would take them to Mia’s private room.

She looked tiny, laying on her side in the high bed in the dimly lit room, her face scraped and multicolored from bruising, left wrist in a plaster cast, an IV in the same arm replacing lost fluids.

Urs went to the bedside, quietly, afraid to touch her since there didn’t seem to be any area that was safe. He glanced at her hands, laying still on the white hospital linens, the left with a cast that came down partly over her fingers.

“There’s blood under her thumb nails….couldn’t you have tidied her up a bit better? I don’t want her reminded of him when she wakes.”

He was angry and it showed on his expressive face when he turned to speak harshly to the nurse.

She blanched at the intensity of his gaze but before she could answer Steve spoke up.

“Evidence…I believe she said that she tried to gouge his eyes…I’ll need to take a sample from her…just another nail in his coffin.”

“I’m sorry….I didn’t understand…I’m really sorry.” Urs looked distraught as he apologized to the nurse and she smiled, eager to put him at ease.

“I do understand, Herr Buhler…Officer, I left the kit on the bed stand…you can take the sample anytime…Fraulein Kramer won’t likely wake for another hour.”

Steve took his samples, then the nurse cleaned Mia’s hands carefully, watching the handsome singer from the corner of her eye as she worked. Word had spread through the hospital about the tenor being here and of course all wondered about his relationship to the injured woman.

“I feel responsible,” he said to Steve, for the moment forgetting that the nurse was still in the room.

“If I hadn’t invited her to attend the last concerts and had those papers for her to deliver to the lawyers…she would have been safely home with Toni and this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Fate doesn’t always deal the deserving a decent hand…and there is nothing that can be done about the past. Urs, I have to get back to headquarters and see how the search is going, get this evidence to the lab. Here’s my card…call me on my mobile if there’s any change or when she wakes and can talk to me…or when you have your arrangements made…in the mean time, please don’t leave her alone until the officer I’ve asked for gets here to monitor who goes in and out. I’m concerned that he may want to finish the job.”

Urs snapped his head around to stare at Steve, anger making his eyes appear black.

“He won’t get near her!! Yes, I’m upset but not enough that I would take a chance with her…I even checked you out, when I went out to make the phone calls…I spoke to Piers who vouched for you…he made the initial report that got you to the Grand so quickly… and to your superior…you’ll be glad to know that you are highly respected in your field…I worried about when I can’t be with her…She will insist that I perform tonight…I know her too well to think she will let me get out of it…I’ve arranged for my sister and brother in law to stay with her while I’m at the theatre. As for the other…I’ll let you know what I come up with but not likely where…the less people who know the better.”

Steve grinned at him, relieved to see that the singer was really taking charge and efficiently.

He departd for the station to check on progress, the nurse shortly after for other duties and Urs pulled a chair up to the bed, sitting and very gently taking her right hand in his, now that he was alone with her letting his emotions flood his mind.

‘Aramia…mein liebeling…mein Gott, Mia…when I saw you on the sofa, in a pool of blood…I think my heart stopped…I can’t lose you…how could he do this to you…of all people to be treated so viciously…you’re so gentle, loving…I watch you with Toni and it makes my heart swell with pride at the love you show him…why can’t you let yourself love me? I want you to, so much so that I ache with longing to tell you how I feel and hope that you can love me too. And Toni…He is MY son…I don’t care that he isn’t of my blood…Iwas there while you carried him, there for the birth, to welcome him into the world…I held him when he was less than one minute old, cradled him against my body when he cried, sang him to sleep when he was restless, changed those messy diapers…and I love him…no one is ever going to take him away from us!!! Please, my darling, let me take care of you… and if you can…love me…just a little.’

He wept until he had no tears left, quietly so he wouldn’t disturb her, then , totally spent, rested his head on the cool sheets next to her body and fell into the panacea of sleep.

It was nearly an hour later that he woke to the soft touch of someone gently stroking his hair and raised his head. She was awake.

“You should be home, sleeping,” she said in that chastising tone she used when she wasn’t really angry with him.

“I was sleeping until someone messed with my hair.”

“Sorry…couldn’t resist….Urs have you talked to Mami?”

He stood to rest his hip on the bed and took her hand again.

“Hours ago…and to Paco…they took Toni somewhere for now…even I don’t know where….he’s safe.”

She moved her left arm slightly.

“Are they giving me drugs? I hate taking drugs….. and shouldn’t since I’m still nursing.”

“No…I’m sure the nurse said that’s glucose now. Mia, we have to talk…I know you’re probably fuzzy at the moment but we can’t put this off.”… ‘and I dread it, dread the thought of telling you that it isn’t safe to see Toni for a few days, that nursing him is out of the question…’

“They haven’t caught him yet, have they? Urs, he’ll try again…he’s out of his mind and Dad died in a car accident so there’s no one to calm Bryan down.”

He leaned over the bed, placing his other hand on the pillow beside her head and tilting his upper body so that he was leaning over her.

“Mia, I want you to let me take care of you…I need you to trust me, let me make the decisions for you and for Toni…I need to be sure you’re safe, both of you…you have become very precious to me…I won’t allow anything else to happen to you, but you have to trust me.”… ‘I would die for you, my love…no one will touch you again!!...not while I live!’

She stared into his eyes for a long moment, searching for something, he was unsure what it was, then slowly smiled.

“Alright.”

His face crinkled in a dimple making smile and he dipped his head to kiss the only spot without a bruise or scrape, the tip of her nose.

‘Gott, how I want to kiss her…a real kiss, to taste that sweet mouth, gently, to soothe her fears and pain…but I can’t…not now when she’s so fragile.’

“That’s it? No demand for explanations, no arguments? Wow, I should have tried being masterful before.”

She laughed then sobered.

“I do trust you Urs. You’ve promised and you always keep your promises….all I could think of when he chased me from the stores was to get to you, that you would protect me, that Bryan couldn’t hurt me if you were near…then I worried about interrupting the last Act and that he might be at the Theater…Urs, how did he know…how will we keep him from finding Toni?”

The pitch of her voice rose in direct proportion to her mounting hysteria as she remember what had happened and worried about what might be in the future. Her eyes welled with tears that spilled down her raw cheeks, stinging as they trailed across the open wounds.

“Shhh, don’t…please don’t cry, Little One…I’m here, nothing can hurt you now…I don’t have the answers…I just know that you did the right thing, coming to me, fighting back …I’m so proud of you.”

‘…and I love you even more now.’

It took a few minutes for her to get herself together and he waited, holding her hand and stroking it with his thumb.

Finally she looked up at him again, her lashes still clumped together with shed tears but her eyes clear now and a slight smile on her swollen lips.

“You should go get some real sleep…you have a performance tonight….and don’t think you’re going to get out of it…”

“I have an understudy…” he began even though he knew it was useless to argue.

“And a very nice young man he is, who will some day get his shot at the brass ring…the patrons don’t pay to see and hear him…they pay to see and hear you, Urs Buhler, the best Nemorino ever…and by the way, when can I get out of here? I was promised a seat for tonight’s show since I had to miss last nights….”

“Not a chance, Lady!! Alright…I will go …as soon as the politzei arrives to guard the door… I will sing tonight but I’ll be back…Pol and Magda are coming to stay with you while I’m at work…and the rest you need to leave up to me.”

He could see that she was tiring and lowered his voice, speaking softly to her of the plans they had for camping this year, holding her hand and watching patiently as she relaxed and at last, slept again.

**

He spent the time in the taxi on the mobile, checking with Pol that they were indeed on the way and running the plans he was making past his key participant. Pol was a licensed pilot, his specialty, helicopters, and they would need one to reach the haven he had already made arrangements to use. Then he called Mon, another brother in law and asked him for a big favor, explaining very briefly what had happened and why his services were needed. Once more he was assured that the work would be done, that Mon would see to it personally.

He waved at security as he strode into the lobby of the condo building, walking up to the desk and finishing his call with Pol then leaning on the desk and asking if there had been any strangers requesting information about him or his assistant.

“No, No-one, Herr Buhler…and of course we would never give out any information, even to people we are familiar with…Is there something we should know?”

Briefly he explained that Mia had been assaulted and was in hospital, described Bryan as best he could and suggested that if a person of that description asked about either of them, the Politzei should be called.

“There was a delivery for Fraulien Kramer…from the Lace and Lovely Boutique…I have it here.”

He reached under the desk and pulled out a shopping bag, filled to the top with lilac colored boxes that had been tied with silver ribbon.

Urs took it, not thinking any more about the contents as he took the lift up to the condo.

He was exhausted, even after he had showered and fixed a skimpy meal from leftovers in the refrigerator….He washed up the few dishes and wandered into the bedroom, out of habit setting the alarm, but this time to wake him in 3 hours…that would give him time to visit Mia, see the doctor and make arrangements for spiriting her out of the hospital, unseen, tomorrow, today now since it was so late. He would phone the director and request that his understudy attend rehearsal…their voices were enough alike that he should have no problems.

Dreams fortunately eluded him and he slept deeply until the strident ringing of alarm woke him and he staggered into the bathroom, for safety forgoing shaving…the stylist could do that when he went for makeup.

‘It’s going to take a lot of coffee to get moving today…and I have so much to do…no problem…when we’re safely at the Aerie we can rest and relax…and Mia can heal.’

He had two quick cups of coffee, speaking on the mobile for a while as he paced the Lounge, then grabbed a banana from the wrought iron stand that she liked to hang them on and headed for the foyer, picking up the small overnight bag he had packed for Mia with personal items…toothbrush, floss, gel, hairbrush, the lotion that she used instead of cologne, a lilac silk short nightgown that he had never seen before and her favorite zippered robe, the green silk one he had given her after Toni was born, adding the matching slippers.

He shrugged into his jacket as the lift descended and glanced again at the guards behind the Security desk, receiving a negative nod from the one he had spoken to only a few hours before and went out to flag a taxi for the ride to the hospital.

**

Mia had slept through most of his visit but it was just as well since he had arrangements to make…and he knew that if he sat for long he would relapse into sleep again, he was so tired. He went to the venue to prepare for the performance, the first time since he had begun singing professionally that he really didn’t want to perform. He was only in the dressing room a few minutes when a loud banging drew him to the door.

The minute he opened the dressing room door and looked at the man standing there he knew who it was…Villetti!! His first impulse was to drag him into the room and pound on his smirking face until it was nothing but bloody pulp…fortunately logic prevailed and he stepped back and motioned the man inside, closing the door softly and drawing in a deep calming breath before turning to glare at him.

“What do you want, Villetti?”

The man was tall but running to flab, mid fifties, thinning dyed black hair done in a comb over that didn’t disguise the fact that he was balding. He exuded wealth, but not class, his clothing expensive but not necessarily well thought out, doing nothing to hide the man-breasts or the belly that strained the buttons of his silk suit. The thought of this creature forcing himself on the tiny body of Aramia was an obscenity that made Urs throat burn with bile and he had to swallow to contain his nausea.

“I want my son…I was promised, gave that brother of hers an advance payment…now I want him.”

Even the Italian’s voice irritated Urs…whiney, slightly high pitched, heavily accented but understandable, the tone that of someone accustomed to buying what he wanted, the attitude that of someone who believed himself to be in the right.

“The child is not yours…he is Aramia’s and she will never give him up. The arrangement you made with her brother is not only reprehensible, it’s illegal in most of the world…you can’t buy people, you obnoxious a**! It’s because of you and your lack of morals that Bryan attacked Mia…when they find him you may find yourself sharing a cell right next to him.”

Urs was trying desperately to contain his temper but the loathing he had for this man was slowly winning. He felt his body begin to quiver, his muscles aching with the need to strike out and turned away, opening the door again and bellowing in his best ‘Back of the house’ Opera voice… ‘SECURITY!!’

He listened to the man spewing his anger in a torrent of hate, white knuckled as he clenched his fists, trying to keep himself in control.

“She doesn’t deserve to have my son!! The little w**re…she lured me and SHE ENJOYED IT!!! you’ve been sc***ing her for months, you know she likes it rough…a boy needs his father, not some tramp that f**** anyone who will give her a roof…..tell me where she is…I’ll give you the rest of the money…”

Just in time the two security guards rushed down the hallway and moved between Urs and the foul mouthed man, holding Urs back as he lunged for the Italian, grasping Milo by the forearms, roughly dragging him, screaming curses at them as they took him to the stage door and ejected him outside.

Urs’ teeth were still painfully clenched when he thanked the guards and was assured that there was no way that Villetti would get back in the Theatre. He closed the door, still enraged, the scene replaying again and again, until at last he needed release for his pent up emotions and he punched the plaster wall, leaving holes that would need repair and skinning his knuckles…The pain felt good, a relief after trying so hard to control his fierce rage, knowing that doing what he so badly wanted would have been a mistake, would have given Villetti an excuse to paint him as violent, unfit to raise a child ….but oh how he wanted to pound on the evil man until he stopped breathing.

‘I’m not a violent man…I can count the number of times I’ve ever struck anyone in anger…but I wanted to smash in that lying mouth, to see him bleed…I wanted to kill him!!’

He went in the little washroom off the dressing room and rinsed his heated face with cold water, let the water run on his scraped knuckles until the bleeding stopped and thought about what he should do.

Nate answered his private line on the second ring, a bit distracted until Urs told him what had just happened.

“Did you hit him?”

“No…I came close but I knew if I started I wouldn’t stop until he was dead…I had him thrown out by Security.”

“Good!!...If this is going to end up in court, you and Mia need to be the calm, rational ones… Urs, marry the woman, adopt the boy, I have friends who can arrange it…he already has your name, it won’t be difficult…and I know how you feel about her…marry her, give me some legal grounds to proclaim you three a family in case it ever goes to court…I know you want to… convince Mia and just do it. Let me know if there’s anything new.”

**

It was impossible to get into the zone for his performance. His stomach was on fire with repressed anger, every muscle in his body tensed to the max and a headache was building behind his eyes.

Somehow he needed to calm, to talk to someone with sense or he felt he was going to explode.

He opened his mobile and hit 3 on the automatic dialer, waiting anxiously for Paco to answer, pacing the confines of the dressing room while the walls seemed to close in on him.

“Ja…you woke me up…it better be important.”

“Paco…I need…I need to talk…please… I’m so wound up I feel like I’m going to break into a million pieces.”

“Talk to me, Little Bear…I’m awake now…what can I do to help?”

The pet name from his childhood and the calm voice of his brother had the desired effect.

Urs told him about Villetti’s visit, about holding his temper and having him thrown out and then about his conversation with Nate.

“How can I convince her, Paco? She doesn’t love me, not like that. Can I just appeal to her sense of logic, offer her protection for herself and Toni? Is it fair to sort of trick her into marrying me…she’s so vulnerable right now, so fragile…”

“Urs, you are such a stupid a** sometimes…the woman adores you, she’s just scared…I think it has to do with the nightmares she has…do whatever is needed to protect her and Toni…you know you love them both and personally I think if she leaves you you’ll be a long time recovering…if ever. Just answer me this: Do you love her enough to marry her and not expect sex, at least not at first?”

“YES!!”

“Then as soon as she’s thinking clearly again, do it, convince her that it’s the wise thing to do…I don’t know how, but you have to try…I really think that if you promise not to expect intimacy from her she will accept…she loves you…she’s just afraid she can’t give you what you need…you have to convince her that having her in your life and safe is more important….and I think you have to do it soon, before she does something desperate that will hurt everyone.”

“What do you mean?”

“Never mind…one problem at a time….take her to a hideaway while the work is done on the houses and talk to her…you’ll come up with something. But I will tell you what I believe…I think for Mia to overcome this fear she has from being so badly abused she will have to learn that sharing love is about both partners, that she has the right to control the situation…in fact I think unless she is allowed to take control at first, she will never completely heal.”

A head peered in the door and gave him the 5 minute warning.

“Paco I have to go…Thank you…and kiss Adrianne for me…you’ve become wiser since she came into your life…I feel calmer now…and I will figure something out…I can’t lose her.”

**

It was only due to his innate professionalism that he was able to get into the role for the concert and deliver his usual performance. It had gone well.

There had been a flurry of questions from cast and crew, asking about Mia, how she was mostly, not many people foolish enough to question him further…his reputation for being fiercely private regarding his personal life was well known.

Now that he was calmer, during the intermission he hunted for Jadis among the girls in the chorus, taking her to one side and thanking her for her assistance.

“The doctor said that it was because of your care that Mia didn’t bleed out…he was impressed… I don’t know how to begin to thank you…flowers, chocolate, diamonds…none of them are enough for what you did…though if you want them, they’re yours….I do want you to promise me that if you ever, EVER need anything, big or small, you won’t hesitate …you’ll come to me…without Mia in my life, I am nothing…. I will never forget what you did.”

She was overcome with pleasure that he had allowed even this much of a glimpse into his very soul, even more convinced of his sincerity when he gave her a small business card with only his mobile number on it.

“Herr Buhler, I only did what my instincts told me to do…and this…your private number…I will share it with no one…Thank you for your trust.”

**

After the last curtain call he escaped to the dressing room, forgoing the traditional after-party, trusting to Stan to represent him and to the partiers to understand.

He had found the car and moved it closer to the theater, now took out the luggage he had packed for both of them and drove directly to the hospital. Steve had arranged for him to spend the night in Mia’s room and everything else should have been done as his many phone calls had arranged.

Magda was in the room when he quietly opened the door, sitting beside the bed reading in the lamp she had draped with a scarf so it wouldn’t shine on Mia’s face. She rose and placed her finger on her lips as she came to give Urs a hug.

“She only just fell asleep…she’s so scared, Urs, but is trying not to let it show….every time she wakes it’s with a look of panic on her face…I’d like 5 minutes alone with the bas**rd who did this to her. How could he? Her own brother for Gott’s sake!!!...as hateful as we sometimes were to you and Paco when we were younger, neither of you would ever have done this…the worst was when you would tickle me so much that I wet my knickers…I used to hate that!!”

“I know…that’s why I did it!!”

She gave him a playful punch in the shoulder, a little harder than necessary and he winced then laughed softly.

“Does she know what we’re going to do?”

“Only that you’re taking her out of here, somewhere safe…and I told her that she can’t nurse Toni anymore, that by the time she can it will be too late. She cried but took it pretty well….and the doctor changed her cast to a fiberglass one…the nurse ran through how to change the dressings and what to watch for in case of infection…it’s on a printed sheet so you won’t forget anything important.”

She indicated a gym bag with supplies and several sheets of paper sticking out the top.

“I told her you’re relatively intelligent …for a man…and should be able to cope.”

He smiled at her and moved over to the bed to gently take Mia’s hand and watch her sleeping, not conscious that his love was plainly written on his face for his sister to see.

He heard Magda gasp and turned his head to raise his brows at her in question.

“You love her….don’t try to deny it, Urs…you have the same look as Pol did when we were married, or when he’s feeling amorous…”

“Mags….she doesn’t know…I’ve been afraid to say anything….she’s so insistent on a friends and business only relationship…I’m afraid of scaring her into running away.”

Magda stared at him, working through what she knew about Mia and why he would think this way.

“You may be right…I’m afraid that what happened to her has made it hard for her to even think about….being intimate…but Urs, she may never get over it…are you prepared to wait?”

He looked back down at the sleeping woman he loved and smiled.

“Forever, if that’s what it takes.”

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

He slept in the chair with his head resting near her hand, opting to stay close rather than use the cot that someone had thoughtfully provided. His reward for making that choice was to wake in the early morning with Mia’s hand resting on the back of his neck, her fingers twined in his curls.

“Good morning…you were dreaming…I could see your eyes moving under the lids….by the way did anyone ever tell you , you don’t snore but once in a while you smile or sigh, just like a little boy.”

He sat up, catching her hand before she could move it away.

“Good morning …you must have mistaken me for some other man sleeping in your room…the dream I was having didn’t belong to a little boy, believe me.”

She laughed then winced as her ribs hurt.

“MMMM…well, I’ll have to remember not to laugh for a few days …. So, Herr Buhler, when does our little adventure start?”

“As soon as the sun is well up….Mia, we have to be very quiet for the first part…and it might hurt a bit moving you…I’m sorry but there is really no other way if we’re to do this secretly…I can ask the nurse to give you something for the pain…”

“Will you be with me?”

“All except the first part, about 5 minutes on your back on the stretcher….you’ll have to lie very still and silent…though there shouldn’t be many people around, just a few staff.”

“I can do that…and when we get where we’re going will Toni be there?”

He sighed. He had known she would ask and that she wouldn’t be happy about his answer.

“No…you need some time to get stronger…maybe 3 weeks.”

“Get real!! Three DAYS!”

“Two weeks…

“One…”

“Ten days, final offer, take it or we’re back to 3 weeks.”

She glared at him then sighed.

“Ten days…deal! You’re really tough…you’d make a good negotiator.”

“You’re just not at your best right now…I would have gone down to 1 week if you had held fast,” he said with a smirk.

**

A new nurse had attended to getting her ready for the trip, dressing her in a soft, warm track suit, chatting as she worked. She was another of the wide spread Buhler clan, this one a distant cousin through some convoluted lineage that had Mia totally lost after the first few minutes. Urs had disappeared, saying he would be waiting for her

Selka offered her a pain killer but again Mia refused and with considerable effort slid over from the bed to the stretcher, lay back and was covered completely with a sheet, imitating a body, on the way to the morgue.

Laying on her back on the hard stretcher had not been quite as simple as she had expected. When it wasn’t moving Mia was able to lie perfectly still, her lower lip caught tightly in her teeth as pain from the raw wounds to her back throbbed, her arms unmoving at her sides, supporting her aching ribs, but the jostling from the nurse rolling the stretcher down the hall, into the lift and down another, longer hall, was excruciating. She managed, somehow, playing a mantra in her mind, a picture of Urs waiting for her, making shushing sounds.

They had paused once when the nurse was blocked by a woman who seemed interested, asking questions regarding the body supposedly on the stretcher, {a TV reporter named Claudia they learned later}but the nurse was brusque with her, merely saying that the deceased was the victim of an assault, on her way to autopsy.

They entered an area that smelled of soap and linens, went on further and even through the thin sheet covering her she could feel a breeze….they must be outside….no, it was a fan…stirring very warm air. The stretcher stopped and suddenly the sheet was removed and Urs was there, bending over her still form.

“I’m sorry, Liebling…I should have insisted you take something.”

Only now was she aware that she had been weeping soundlessly, the pain too much to bear without some form of release. He wiped the tears from her face and gently turned her to the side, glancing at Steve, the officer she recognized from earlier, who had appeared as if by magic.

“Change of plans…I’ll hold her so she can stay on her side and I can cushion her from the bumps…when you hand her to me, be careful of the wounds, keep your hands low, around her waist.”

He nodded to the nurse who had stood by quietly and took Mia’s hand.

“Selka is going to give you a shot…no arguments...there’s no need for you to suffer.”

Whatever was in the injection was powerful enough that within a minute her pain had eased and she felt floaty. She felt Steve’s hands ease around her and raised suddenly very heavy arms to grasp him around the neck as he lifted her, giggling a bit when she saw Urs step into a huge, deep laundry cart and sit down in the rumpled, but clean sheets that had filled the bottom third of it, holding his arms up to receive her. He nestled her against his body, sitting on his lap, her head on his shoulder, both of them cocooned by the sheets, and by the extras that were rumpled and piled in on top of them. Once again they were off and this time she heard a door opening, a big one from the sound, something that rolled up and gave way to a loading dock that smelled of exhaust. A couple of bumps and they were in something else, doors slammed, a motor started and she felt movement. None of that was important to her though.

Her senses were dulled from the injection but still she felt the warmth of him, seeping through his clothing and hers…his arms were around her and she could feel the muscles working as the vehicle rocked and he tried to shield her from the bumps. He pushed the sheets off their faces and turned his head to look down at her and she could feel his breath on her cheek, sweet and soft, a slight tinge of coffee, mouthwash and…chocolate of course. Recognizing the scent made her smile and he whispered “What?”, but she just shook her head a bit, not willing to share this special moment, so relaxed now that she dozed while the van sped up and they hastened…somewhere.

When she roused from her nap they had stopped, in some kind of large building that sound echoed in. Steve had come to the laundry hamper and was removing the sheets on top of them. Urs gently handed her over for a moment then exited the cart and carefully took her back, letting her burrow into his chest happily, her right hand snaking up around his neck as he leaned down and kissed her brow.

“Almost on the last leg, Little One…hang on just a little longer.”

Again there was a blip in time for her and when she was aware again, they were in a very noisy helicopter. She heard Magda, then felt some kind of ear muffs slip on over her head, felt the softness of blankets tucked around her and a shape she recognized against her hand…Urs’ ornate Harley belt buckle.

She was laying on her side, her head in Urs’ lap, a velour blanket wrapped around her body and his legs and there was a slight feeling of motion. His hand rested on her head, gently stroking her hair and she sighed with contentment and went to sleep.


**

When she had slept the drugs out of her system she woke to find that she was snuggled under a soft duvet in a darkened room and wearing her own night clothes, a lilac silk gown that fell just to her knees. For a moment she wondered who had changed her into her own night clothes then she felt the warmth of someone and knew.
He was beside her, she felt his breath stirring her hair, she sensed his presence, his body, even without looking but she turned her head on the soft pillow, tilting it up to see that he was sleeping, not in the bed with her but on top of the duvet, still fully dressed.

As if sensing that she was awake, he opened his eyes and smiled when he found her looking at him.

“I wanted to be near when you woke up…how do you feel?”

“Good…I think I’ve slept out what ever it was that Selka gave me…are you going to tell me where we are now?”

He chuckled and rolled away from her, rising to his feet and stretching, unaware that watching him, even in the dim light of the room made her heart thump.

“No…I’m going to show you but not until we’ve both had a trip to the Loo and you have a robe on….I’ll be right back.”

He clicked a lamp on the bed stand to life and while he was gone she took the opportunity to look around the spacious room.

It was night now, she could see that through the open curtains on what looked to be 8 foot tall windows…no, multipaned doors she saw on closer inspection that opened on to what looked like a deck. The room was large, built for comfort, by a man she thought since there was little in it of frill or softness. Still it was a comforting space, an entertainment centre opposite the gigantic bed, what were likely built in closets along one long wall and both a long sofa and 2 wing chairs with side tables on a large Persian carpet. The color scheme ran to rich tans and cream accents, some deeper walnut on the tables and the closet doors, the heavy drapes at the window in a deep burgundy, the same as the duvet cover and one of the wing chairs.

Urs came back carrying her robe, his curls a bit more controlled and damp around his face from a hasty scrub. He still looked tired, his eyes a little shadowed but clear and smiling as he approached.

“This is a man’s room, isn’t it?”

“Very good…yes it is…a very nice, rich and talented man who only uses it when he needs to escape from the public for a while….my friend, David. If I help you up do you think you can stand?”

“Of course…there’s nothing wrong with my legs.” She frowned at him, already irked to be treated like an invalid and he groaned. It was going to be difficult getting her to take it slow for the next few days.

He helped her sit up and she swung her legs onto the floor, started to stand and moaned when her ribs protested. Urs put an arm around her and held her when being upright sent the blood rushing to her feet and she wobbled, clutching at him for support with her one good hand.

To his credit he didn’t tease her about not being as fit as she thought, just held her close and waited until the dizziness passed.

“Sorry…my head got kind of disconnected for a minute…I’m better now.”

Reluctantly he withdrew his arms, still keeping his hands on her upper arms until he was sure.

“How be I give you a lift to the Loo? Just this first time…”

He didn’t wait for her answer, just scooped her up and strode the few steps to the Loo, letting her feet down at the sink and leaving when she was firmly grasping the edge of the vanity.

Minutes later he heard the flush then the water running in the sink and her disgusted growl when she caught sight of her face in the mirror.

“Urs…”

He was back in a flash, wearing his jeans and tee, bearing her robe and helped her get into it, a bit concerned when he saw how she was shaking from even this small amount of movement.

“How can you bear to look at me? I nearly threw up when I looked in the mirror.”

Again he scooped her into his arms, this time staring at her as if inspecting a contestant at a beauty pageant.

“You mean your war wounds? I can see past them and what I see is a brave, beautiful woman, Toni’s Mami, someone I care about… ‘more than you realize!’… now I want to show you something.”

He walked through the bedroom, pushed with his shoulder against the tall glass paned doors to open them and stepped out onto the deck.

The air was fresh and slightly warm, a light breeze stirring the pines that seemed to encase the house, the sky a deep navy blue, almost black and so full of stars that there was hardly room for the sliver of moon that she could see, hanging above a nearby mountain peak. He walked near the railing and stood so she could see out over the rolling land and trees.

Far off in the distance the lights of a town twinkled, not many so she knew it was a small place, tucked into the valley between two ranges of mountains. No other lights marred the solitude or the natural wonder. She looked down and saw that below them was a small clearing, criss-crossed with a few animal trails, nothing else other than outcroppings of stone and a tiny waterfall cascading over the rock face to fill a pool below before wandering away in a trickle to join a stream that was out of sight.

“It’s beautiful…and so peaceful…you told me but I’m not thinking clearly yet…was it someone I know?”

“My friend from Il Divo, David Miller…that’s why the extra long bed…he’s really busy at the moment so I knew he wouldn’t be in residence…I called and told him we needed a place for a while and he said to go ahead, for as long as we need. There’s no road in…you have to come in by air or hike a good long way through the woods. He calls it David’s Aerie.”

She shivered and he took her back inside, ignoring her protests.

“While you were sleeping I raided the kitchen and made us some soup…I just have to re-heat it. The girls sent a bunch of stuff from their freezers, knowing what a great cook I am, but I thought for tonight soup would do the trick. You do need to eat…and so do I.”

He placed her on a sofa in the Lounge area of the open concept Great Room, lit the already prepared fire in the grate and bustled off to the Kitchen area to fix their meal. The house wasn’t huge, just seemed so because the rooms flowed one into the other, mostly constructed out of natural stone and stained wood, the ceiling beams huge, fireplace and surround made of boulders, the furnishing covered in soft calfskin or supple leather, the wooden pieces in the room left natural and rough hewn, with big chunky legs and thick tops, the bark still on the edges. It was a comfortable retreat and she already felt at ease, infused with the peace that being here had offered her.

Urs came back with a tray that he put on the chunky coffee table: Soup that appeared home made, rustic bread wrapped in foil, still warm from the convection oven, cut up fruit with a small bowl of Crème Fraiche and an open bottle of red wine that she raised her brows at.

“It’s good for the blood…and you need to build yours up again.”

The meal was excellent and she was surprised to find herself hungry, finished it in short order, going so far as to wipe the bowl out with a piece of the warm bread.

“You’re a good cook…why have you been hiding this talent? Or did you just re-heat?”

He tried to look pained but it didn’t work since he couldn’t stop grinning.

“I have a few specialties…I can’t bake, so you better get on your feet soon…but I can make a good pasta and sauce and the first thing Mami taught me was soup.”

They finished the meal and sat chatting for a while, watching the flames in the fireplace.

“Urs, did you bring my clothes from the condo? I can’t wear this robe and nightie for long or you’ll have to wear a mask when you come near me…and what about a shower? When can I have one?”

“I’m way ahead of you…don’t forget I’m Swiss, the logical one, adept at planning ahead….sometimes. I gave Magda my credit card and asked her to get you a selection of things that would be easy for you to get in and out of…she got a friend that owns a boutique out of bed and had a shopping spree…and I thought we could try a shower in the morning…there’s a bench in the shower so you should be able to manage…and if you can’t I promise to help but keep my eyes closed.”

Mia laughed at the vision that created.

“Urs Buhler…you’ve seen me more or less starkers when we delivered Toni…and I know I don’t turn you on anyway…I’m neither tall nor blonde…and I trust you.”

‘I, on the other hand, may just have a problem if you have to help me…mein Gott I wish I was tall and blonde.’

‘Can I do this without it being obvious what touching her does to me? …long shirts will have to be the dress code of the day… and I have to change the dressings on her chest…Gott help me!’

“Don’t borrow problems, Little One…time enough to worry about them if they crop up. Now I think you’ve been up long enough… up you go,” he said as he picked her up again and headed for the bedroom, then on to the Lav.

“I’ll just go tidy up while you brush your teeth and get ready for bed…DO NOT try to walk back in by yourself…I’ll knock on the door when I come back.”

He set her on a sturdy chair in front of the vanity and left. She found her toothbrush in the holder…he must have unpacked while she slept.

Fifteen minutes later there was a soft knock on the door and she was ready, teeth brushed and flossed, feeling human again after 2 days of not having this luxury, face washed, potty used, even her hair brushed a bit though not up to her usual standard since she only had the one usable hand.

“Ready?” he said as he crossed the room to push her errant curls back off her face with one gentle finger.

“This is as good as it gets…at least until the bruising fades and the scrapes heal.”

She held her arms up to him and his breath caught as he leaned down to pick her up.

“Don’t worry so much…no one can see you but me…and I think you’re beautiful.”

He carried her into the bedroom and gently lay her in the bed, the covers already turned down.

‘He smells so good…I could have stayed in his arms forever.’

“I’m sorry for being such a bother Urs….I promise to be good and get better fast so you don’t have to wait on me.”

He leaned over her and placed one long finger on the tip of her nose.

“Don’t do that again…no more apologizing…it’s not your fault and you aren’t a bother…I may just take up a new career as a nursemaid.”

She laughed at the silly statement…as if he would ever give up singing.

He tucked the covers up around her neck and reached over to turn the light off.

“Sweet dreams, Mia…I’ll leave the door open and I’ll be right there in the Lounge if you need me in the night.”

He had almost made it to the door when she called out.

“Wait…why are you sleeping in the Lounge?”

He turned and looked a bit sheepish as he stammered an answer.

“Well you see…that’s the only draw back to this place…there’s only one bedroom…don’t worry about it…the sofa is long enough for me and very comfortable.”

She was silent for a second and he began to turn back to the door.

“And this bed is big enough for half a dozen people…I’m not afraid of you Urs…you’ll be much closer if we share this bed…in case I need help.”

He came back slowly and sat on the edge of the bed, taking her hand and searching her eyes.

“You know I would never hurt you, Mia…and tonight I’m so tired I couldn’t ravage you even if you were willing and able….thank you for trusting me.” He stood and moved around the bed heading for the bathroom.

“Go to sleep…I’ll be back when I’ve cleaned up.”

Mia curled up in the bed, her breathing rapid, heart racing, not from fear but dismay that she had been so bold.

‘Of course he can’t be expected to sleep on the sofa…and I DO trust him…how I wish that these vile dreams hadn’t come back…what if I have one when he’s here in the bed with me? What if I think it’s Milo and lash out at him? Oh Gawd, what have I done?’

Urs had stripped to his Calvins and was brushing his teeth, had lost track of what he had done already because his mind was racing with all sorts of scenarios.

‘Can I do this? If I react when she’s so close to me in the bed, what if she notices? Camping was different with Toni between us…I’ll put one of the pillows between us, that should work…what kind of animal are you, Fool!!? The woman is recovering from a beating, how can you even think about making love with her?….maybe if I have a really cold shower before going to bed…right…she’ll think she’s sleeping beside an ice cube…you’ve really painted yourself into a corner this time…’

He finished and returned, lifted the duvet and slid under the covers, keeping well over to the side of the bed.

He saw the moonlight glinting off her eyes as she opened them and whispered good night, leaning forward for her customary good night kiss on the cheek. He leaned in and kissed her, felt her lips brush his cheek…and just the touch of her mouth made his Calvins begin to ‘tent’, just like every night when he wondered what it would be like to make love with her.

“I’m going to put a pillow between us so I don’t accidentally hurt you in the night,” he mumbled and pulled one of the extra pillows down between them, then whispered Good night and tucked the covers up under his arms.

Hours later he half woke to find that the barrier pillow had somehow been pushed to the foot of the bed and she lay in his arms, her breath soft and steady against his chest, her cheek resting on his bicep. Her left hand, with the cast, was tucked up against her breasts and the right was under his arm that held her close, her hand on his chest. He smiled, sighed with contentment and went back to sleep.

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

It was the movement of the bed that woke him. He opened his eyes, focusing instantly on Mia struggling to sit up and swing her feet over the edge of the bed.

“What are you doing? You’re going to pull your stitches out… hang on, let me help you.”

He threw the covers back and came over the bed, with his long legs easily stepping over her and gaining the floor on her side of the bed.

“I’m sor….right, I’m not supposed to keep saying that….I thought I could get up for the Loo without waking you…you looked so peaceful and I know how tired you were last night….it wasn’t quite as easy as I thought.”

He helped her swing her legs out and supported her upper body, taking the weight on his strong arms until she was sitting upright.

“Do you want to try standing and maybe walking? I’’ll help if you feel weak…”

Between them they got her to her feet, though she wobbled a bit and had to lean on him for a minute.

“Why does it hurt so much today? I didn’t even know I’d been hit in some of the places that are aching…”

“The shock and drugs are wearing off and now you’ll start to feel everything…it’s a good sign, according to the papers the nurse typed up for me…means you’re starting to heal.”

She clutched at his arm and took a tentative step, gritting her teeth to keep from moaning.

“OKAAAY…I’ll just keep telling myself that…’It’s a good thing, It’s a good thing’…nope, it isn’t working, still hurts like sin. At this rate there’s going to be a puddle on the floor before I can get to the Loo.”

He chuckled and gently swung her into his arms, making the necessary trip in no time, depositing her next to the vanity and going back in the bedroom to find his jeans.

She was going to be a problem, wanting to do more than she should and not asking for assistance…he knew this just as intuitively as he had known that the sweaty, overweight Italian at his dressing room door had been Villetti. Just thinking of him now, especially since he had seen how she was suffering, made his body tense and his mind fill with visions of pounding on the man until he too bled …or better still stopped breathing….if only he had lost control earlier, before those last vicious lies….but then, it wasn’t the right thing to do….it would have been temporarily satisfying but in the long term very damaging to any legal proceedings that the Italian had the gall to instigate. No, he had been right to hold back…and fortunately Security had been right there to intervene when he couldn’t hold back any longer.

He breathed deep and leaned on his outstretched arms against the deck doors, calming so Mia wouldn’t be concerned.

When he came back in after asking if she was ready it was just in time to see her wipe a tear from her face. He was carrying one of his workout sleeveless tank tops and sat it on the vanity to crouch in front of her as she sat on the toilet lid. His heart went flip flop as he looked at her, trying to be brave and undemanding but looking as if she had been hit by a very big bus.

Her sweet face was still swollen and very colorful with bruising and lightly closed over scrapes, her eyes sunken and both black with purple tinges that hid the deep grey circles…even her hands had been scraped, the palms and knuckles raw, the left covered more or less with the fiberglass cast on her wrist…her usually curvy body was lumpy now with dressings on the major wounds: back, chest, upper arm …and he knew that under the long sweat pants her legs had huge bruises and scrapes that hadn’t been bandaged and were beginning to heal…even her slim waist, that she had worked so hard to trim down after Toni’s birth seemed thicker, with the strapping from her ribs extending completely around her body.

He smiled as he thought with pride that he had actually stripped her to the skin and dressings to change her into night clothes and hadn’t needed a cold shower after…… ‘anger is an efficient method of control, I guess,’ he thought as he approached.


“You want a shower?...I think I figured out how, if you can manage the personal areas….”

Her eyes sparkled and she looked hopeful.

“Oh yes, Please!! I can’t stand the stink of myself…”

“TaDa!!” he said with a flourish as he held the shirt out.

“This will cover all the naughty bits…I’ll shampoo your hair too…and when we’re done I need to put on fresh dressings.”

He gently unwound the taping on her ribs and peeled back the dressings on her back and chest, adjusted the water temperature and turned his back while she slipped out of her nightie and donned the tank top. It was almost like being naked but not quite and she clutched it with her good hand while he took her cast off, lifted her onto the bench in the shower, then stepped in after her, shutting the glass doors.

He started with her hair and she nearly purred. The hot water felt wonderful, his hands massaging her head and working the foaming shampoo was soothing and sensual at the same time…when she dared to open her eyes a bit, his torso was right in front of her face, rivulets of water cascading down through the curls on his chest, beading off his male nipples and disappearing beyond the vee of body hair that started at his waist, darkening the denim of his jeans as they soaked up the moisture. It was too much and she quickly closed her eyes again.

“I’m going to do it again…blood is hard to get out,” he said softly, almost as if talking to himself.

When her hair had been washed and conditioned to his satisfaction he soaped a flannel with body wash and tenderly washed her back, reaching inside the shirt as low as wasn’t invading her privacy, avoiding the stitched areas, then her arms, touching the broken left wrist as gently as a whisper of wind, then her face, neck and around the wounds on her chest…her feet and legs were last but treated with the same tenderness.

‘She’s so soft, so silky smooth…that shirt doesn’t hide much…but I can’t let her see how aroused this is making me…thank Gott these jeans are tight…Scheisse!…that’s a boot print on her thigh…how I’d like to get my hands on her brother…he must have kicked her really hard to leave a mark like that….’

Once she had privately attended to the ‘naughty bits’, Urs opened the glass doors again and turned the water off, drying her left hand and arm carefully then replacing the cast.

“Slip out of the shirt, Liebe and I’ll wrap you in a towel…these ones are big enough to cover 3 people your size.”

She did as he asked, bracing herself against the door frame when the shirt was gone and smiling to herself as she turned her back to the huge towel that he held above his eye level. He draped it over her entirely, wrapping it around the front and lifting her to the stool in front of the vanity, then rubbing her hair partly dry and letting the towel fall to her shoulders.

“I need some dry cheans…jeans…be right back.”

Mia smiled as he left quickly….she was wounded but not blind and it would have been difficult not to notice the bulge in his jeans.

‘So he is human after all…I wondered if he could bathe me without reacting…even though I’m not his ‘type’…. How I wish that was for ME, not just because I’m a woman….and then what?...You know what would happen…Milo’s face would appear and spoil whatever was about to occur…I can’t do that to Urs. Gott, I’m back where I was before seeing Dr. S.’

The wounds were inspected for infection, dressings applied, salves on the minor wounds and he helped her pull on soft track pants under the protective towel, dropped a loose tee shirt over her head and arms, taped up her ribs while she held the tee shirt up and took the discarded towel to hang it up to dry.

“How do you feel now?”

“Like a new person…it’s amazing how some soap and water can make a person feel so much better. And to think you did all this before coffee…I’m impressed.”

“Cheeky woman…how about sitting on the deck for breakfast… it’s a nice warm day.”

He left her on the deck, enjoying the view and went to make breakfast. She could hear him singing a pop tune as he clattered pans and soon the scent of coffee reached her…coffee, maybe toast and something else that she didn’t at first identify.

It was a lovely day, the air warm and stirring lightly, making the branches of the nearby trees sigh softly. Far off in the sky an eagle circled, using the thermals to hover, the motion almost hypnotic. She watched until he flew out of sight behind a neighboring foot hill and for the first time in days thought about sketching….this place had so many things that she wanted to capture, not just in her memory but for future scenes to paint.

She felt a fullness in her chest, then a warm stain appeared on her tee shirt…she hadn’t dried up yet and not nursing Toni meant that her milk had to go somewhere…how embarrassing…and depressing. She missed having his little body snuggled up against her, those tiny fists clenching and unclenching as he took nourishment from her, the special communion between nursing mother and child. There was a dull ache inside her, a longing to see him, hold him or at least to be sure that he was alright…

Of course he’s well cared for…he’s with Mami and there’s no one better for him to be with… and now what happens? Will we have to hide, run away, live like fugitives? And what of Urs and his family? Now that Bryan has made the connection are they in danger….Oh mein gott…has their kindness put them at risk? I have to get better, fast, so I can get Toni and go away, far away…I can’t let Bryan hurt them…and what of Toni’s safety if he’s with me? I don’t want to let him go…but I can’t put him in danger, not for my own selfish reasons….Dear Lord, I don’t know what to do…’

“Hey…are you in pain? They gave me some pills for you to take if you want…”

Urs had come out with their breakfast on a large tray and sat it on the low table between the chairs, crouching beside her in concern when he saw that she was silently crying.

She looked at him, his face lined with concern, sharing her pain, wanting to help in any way he could.

“I miss Toni…and I haven’t dried up yet…I’m leaking…” her voice rose in pitch as she began to cry in earnest and he chuckled a bit, making soft soothing sounds as he folded her into his arms.

“Just a few days, Liebe, until you get stronger, then we’ll go home…and the leaking is my fault…Selka gave me some pills for you to help with that and I forgot…they were giving them to you in the hospital…I’m sorry…I’m kind of new at this nursmaid stuff.”

“You’ve been wonderful…I’m just being silly and selfish…and whatever you made smells so good my mouth is watering….”

“French Toast, Urs’ style…I hope you like it.”

He tried for unconcerned and happy as he pulled the table over in front of her and uncovered a plate with 3 pieces of trimmed bread that had been dipped in whipped egg, then grilled rather than fried, with a small portion of grilled peaches and pears, everything lightly sprinkled with cinnamon and powdered sugar and smelling heavenly.

‘Why do I get the feeling that there’s something she isn’t saying?...that there’s more bothering her than just missing Toni?’

Mia managed nearly two slices of the special breakfast before easing her wounded back against the cushions he had placed on the chair and sighing with contentment.

“That was wonderful…you have so many hidden talents.”

“Wait until dinner and I’ll show you what a genius I am at nuking frozen treasures from my sisters’ freezers. They take after Mami…sent so much stuff that we could stay here a month and not starve…but we won’t…I promised 10 days and then Pol will be back for us.”

She smiled at him but he could see that she was still near tears.

“I’m sorry about earlier…you have done so much to make me comfortable, to take care of me…and here I am dissolving into a puddle…I can’t seem to stop feeling such a loss, Urs…I ache with wanting to hold him, to see his sweet little face.”

He was out of his chair in a second, coming to her and pulling her head down to rest on his shoulder, his heart heavy with the pain he shared with her.

“I know, Liebeling…I miss him too…but it won’t be long…shhhhh, please don’t cry…you make my heart ache when you cry….Liebe, I would think so much less of you if you DIDN’T miss Toni…try to think of all the joy Mami is experiencing being with him…she loves that boy nearly as much as we do….”

She quieted after a few minutes and he handed her a box of tissues. Once the runny nose and leaking eyes were taken care of she put a hand on his shirt and smiled.

“Once again your shirt is the only casualty…I really did a good job this time…we both need dry shirts.”

The shoulder of his was soaked from her tears and there were two large, round marks on his chest that perfectly matched the ones on her soft shirt.

He laughed and stood to remove his shirt, earning a raised brow and grin when he held his hand out for hers, then laughed.

“Oops…forgot myself for a minute…hold that thought…I’ll be right back.”

‘He really doesn’t have any idea what an amazing sight it is to see him shirtless…yeah right, you forgot…what a tease he is…but he does make me laugh and I think that’s why he does it all the time….I think I’m going mad!!...I can’t even walk across the room and yet I want him….no, I want to be able to enjoy love with him….it could happen so easily, even if he doesn’t love me…but …I know what would happen…what Milo did to me would come flooding back and I would freeze…and it would be over…he would never trust me again….and rightly so…I’ve brought so much danger to his life…do I really want to add frustration as well? NO, better to go as soon as we are back from this lovely place.’

He returned with two fresh shirts and a pill bottle, dropping her shirt in her lap and placing the pills on the table after removing the lid.

“These are supposed to help…you know, to stop you from lactating…can you manage your shirt alone?”

She nodded and he went to the railing, leaning on it to look out at the peaceful view, then returning and taking her shirt and leaving again with a comment about adding it to the load in the washer.

Mia was dozing when he came back and he watched her for a moment before cleaning up the dishes from breakfast.

‘I want to tell her….is this the right time? Or is she too vulnerable right now, too fragile to make rational decisions? I’ve waited this long…a few more days can’t hurt…who am I kidding? Sleeping next to her every night, bathing her, changing those dressings…the water in the shower can’t get cold enough to help much…maybe I should start taking a plunge in that stream…I’ll bet it’s cold enough.’

He tidied up in the kitchen then returned to the deck, draping a light blanket over her legs since the sun had now moved on and it was cooler. He stretched out in the adjacent chair and leaned back, closing his eyes and thinking about the baby, little Toni with the four tooth grin, the chubby hands that reached for him whenever he came near, the soft warmth of him when he held him in the night on his way back to his crib….his son…in his mind at least.

**

Daily Mia got stronger…her wounds began to heal with no sign of infections, the bruising began to fade and soon she was able to walk around unaided, the last vestige of the beating being the broken wrist…that would take longer to heal but it was also doing well. But there was something about her that disturbed Urs, a lack of joy, a sadness that he noticed sometimes, though she tried to hide it.

They seldom bothered with the pillow between them in the large bed but gradually he noticed that she nestled against him, not so much in a comfort seeking way, but more an act of desperation, as if afraid that each night would be the last time they were this close.

And the dreams were back, nearly nightly again, disturbing their sleep until he learned to keep her close and speak softly to calm her…he got so good at it that she often didn’t even wake, just calmed and rested her hand on his chest as she went deeper into sleep.

It did little to rejuvenate him however and his face showed the lack of proper rest, eyes shadowed and a bit red, his normally healthy color a bit pasty. If she noticed, Mia said nothing and he chose not to mention it.

They tidied the house together on their last morning, even though they knew that David had a crew that would be by in the next few days to drape the furnishings and make sure that everything was as it should be. He wouldn’t be able to come to his Aerie for another few months, what with the solo concerts and other events that Il Divo had contracted for. Urs left him a thank you note on the stand in the bedroom and would contact him via mobile as soon as he was able.

Pol came as he had promised, with Magda as his co-pilot again. Both were suitably impressed with Mia’s recovery, though Magda raised her brows at the condition of her brother. He merely shrugged and she let the matter drop, promising herself to grill him later.

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

It should have been a joyous reunion and quite breathtaking, arriving via helicopter at the farm, coming in through the mountain pass and creating a different perspective of the property…and it was, in a way.

There was no getting around the beauty of the place on this bright, clear day…the rolling hills and pastures, the woodlands with the trees still green and verdant, not yet touched by the frost that next month would turn the deciduous trees into a Technicolor display.

There was a new addition to the scenery but Mia didn’t notice it, her gaze fixed on the actual house and the ant like people she could see coming out on the back deck…Urs was just as happy, not wanting to yet announce his surprise, but secretly pleased to see the line of iron fencing that encircled the homestead and the tall iron gates at the entrance to the driveway. Mon had done an excellent job and quickly.

The fields were splashed with color from the late blooming flowers, the grasses tossed in the back draft of the spinning blades and there, waiting at the landing site with his truck was Paco, bent over to protect himself from the whirling blades and the grasses and debris that swirled around him.

Urs jumped down and reached up to aid Mia, lifting her easily, wondering why he hadn’t noticed that she was a bit thin, maybe an after effect of her recovery…not a problem…now that she was home she would fill out again.

Magda and Mia got in the cab of the truck with Paco while Urs and Pol hopped in the back and they sped to the house where Mia could see Mami waiting on the deck, a small bundle in blue in her arms.

She didn’t remember later flying out of the cab before it came to a stop and racing across the drive to reach Toni. Her memory was limited to the way his eyes lit up at the sight of her, the chubby hands that reached and the squirming body that she gathered against her chest, breathing in the sweet baby scent of him.

He tugged on her hair, trying to push mouths full between his rosy lips, played with her cast as if it were a new toy and she laughed through her happy tears, only now remembering to thank the woman who had taken such good care of him.

“Mami, he looks so happy…and healthy…I couldn’t have trusted him with anyone else….Thank you, so much.”

Urs came up behind her and her heart ached when Toni spotted him and reached out, crooning in that sweet way he always did when he saw his Papa. Ever considerate, Urs didn’t try to take him but the little boy had different ideas, leaning out with his hands up, wanting the man he loved to snuggle him, so Mia let him go and Urs cradled him, speaking softly to the child in the singsong voice that made Toni laugh.

Gradually they all went in the house and sat around the kitchen table, talking about the time apart.

Mia was subdued, answering questions that were put to her directly but lacking the usual attention she paid when the family had gathered around. Toni came back to her again and she held him close, her eyes sad. He fell asleep and she rose to take him to his crib for a nap, pausing at the doorway to look back.

“I…I’ll be back as soon as he settles…I have something to say and I’d appreciate if you could all still be here. It will be easier if you are all here.”

There was silence for a few moments while they listened to her going up the stairs, heard the door shut on the nursery, then Magda faced Urs, nearly growling at him in her ferocity.

“What have you done? She looks so sad and thin…and what is it she’s going to say?”

“Nothing…I didn’t do anything I shouldn’t have…and I don’t know…she’s been strange for a couple of days, sad and withdrawn but wouldn’t talk about whatever it is…I honestly don’t know.”

Out of old habit he was defensive, glaring back at Magda, the one who had always been ready to argue with him, often without thinking things through.

“She’s going to leave…”

Paco was sitting with his head lowered and his arms resting on his legs and everyone swiveled to look at him, ready to dismiss his opinion but he quietly waited while their hushed voices commented on how foolish his idea was.

Everyone except Mami.

“I think so too…I think she’s worried that we are in danger because of her…Urs did you tell Mia about the security system you’ve set up? Or about Ciara and Matt moving in full time to help out, to be here when you can’t be?”

He was pale and trembling, not caring that everyone could see how upset he was…

“No…I wanted to surprise her…Scheisse…verdamnt!!…sorry Mami…I thought it would be a nice surprise.”

“Well SURPRISE, big brother…the lady has made her own decisions…you might have expected this…Mia is a very caring person and I believe she cares deeply about our family…and you know what I think about how she feels towards you…” Paco rose and paced the kitchen, clearly upset. “and I think she’s worried that she can’t protect Toni and she’s decided to ask you to keep him, Urs, and us to all help, in order to keep him safe…Mein gott…she must be in so much emotional pain!!”

“But…”

“She’s coming,” Magda whispered and everyone froze, waiting for the bad news they all felt was coming.

Mia came into the Kitchen but didn’t sit. She stood at the end of the table, almost gray with stress and shaking but determined, not meeting anyone’s eyes directly and at first they waited.

Everyone jumped with surprise when Urs surged to his feet and came to take Mia’s hands.

“I can’t wait any longer…I have a surprise for you and maybe should have told you days ago, but I wanted to surprise you. While we were away I had the property wired for security, cameras everywhere, with monitors in appropriate spots and a security company to keep an eye on things…the girls and Mami too, though Paco wouldn’t let me do his apartment…and Ciara and Matt are going to move in permanently so there will be someone here when I have to be away…so no more worrying about Bryan or Milo getting close if they figure out where we live…Nothing like that can ever happen again…I won’t let it.”

She paled as he spoke and he wondered if it was too late.

“You did this for me? …and for Toni?”

Mami tried to diffuse the tension.

“You and that precious child are family, Mia…and family sticks together.”

Mia’s face began to pink up as the color flooded back into her cheeks, her eyes narrowed and without any warning she punched Urs in the mouth, again in his unprotected stomach, even swinging her casted left to smack him on the shoulder, so hard and unexpected that it made him stagger.

“Damn you Urs Buhler…do you have any idea what H**l you put me through? Do you realize what I was prepared to do to try to protect Toni and all of you from Bryan and Milo? How could you torture me like this? What were you thinking?”

She pummeled his chest with her little fists and he took it, standing meekly, not trying to defend himself until she ran down and began to cry.

“I guess ‘I’m sorry’ is kind of a lame thing to say.”

She glared at him.

“It’s a start… so we finally had our first real fight…and in public too.”

Paco chuckled and came over to give her a hug.

“I remember how spunky you can be, trust me…I should have warned him …but it was fun watching him get pounded on.”

“That’s some right hook you have, girl,” Magda said. “Wish I could have done that a few times when we were young.”

Mia looked at Urs, still standing immobile, his hands in his pockets, his eyes sad and staring at the tips of his boots, waiting to see if his punishment was over, not even wiping off the dribble of blood from his split lip.

“So…you going to show me this security system or do I have to hunt for it?”

She held her hand out to him and he took it, leading her to the monitor by the kitchen door and quietly giving her a quick lesson after he wiped the blood from his lip with the tissue that Mami handed him as they passed. Sometime during the recital of specs and operating instructions her arm crept around his waist, his followed around her shoulders and their eyes met in silent apology.

**


Two days after arriving home they went for a walk around the property so Urs could see exactly where the fencing was and check out the coverage of the cameras.

Rather than try to encircle the entire property and impede the wandering of the wildlife, they had opted to just fence the garden, orchard and main homestead in a big rectangle, the top of the fencing angled outward and with concertina wire that was mildly electrified 24/7 and could have the voltage increased should the need arise. Cameras covered the entire perimeter on a rotating schedule with the gate and main house on at all times unless the code was punched in. Remote sensors had been attached to the key-chains of those who would be using the gate frequently and Mon had used photographs to acquaint the company with the images of Urs and Mia, who of course hadn’t been in residence when the system was set up. All in all he had done an excellent job and Urs felt it was money well spent for the peace of mind that he could see in Mia’s eyes.

As for himself, he was a bundle of nerves. He had run out of stalling time and had finally made a decision…not to tell her how he felt, but to at least convince her that marrying him was the wise thing, the logical thing to do. He knew the night mares were back, worse now since they were no longer close at night, like at the Aerie…now, by the time he got to her she was usually screaming or almost and it took a long time to calm her down. There had even been a couple of close calls when she almost got him with that lethal right hook, even closer when he nearly got her cast in his teeth.

The third day after they came home he waited until after breakfast, after Toni had his bath and was playing in his net area with Ciara nearby. Mia was in the kitchen, puttering….it was time.

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

He had never been so nervous…but then he had never faced such an important moment in his life, not in auditions, nor tests in school, or the first night of a new performance in front of thousands of people. He was ready, had thought through all the reactions he might expect from Mia and what his response to each of them should be…somehow he must convince her that marrying him was the wise thing to do…would she read the truth behind his logic, would she be adamant about remaining just business associates?... So much hinged on what her reaction to his proposal would be.

“Have you ever thought about getting married?” he asked as they slowly walked out toward the tree line, not touching, just together, going out to check on the feed they left for the animals and pulling a small wagon with some extras.

She looked at him in surprise but he wasn’t looking at her, seemed to be thinking about something.

“I used to when I was very young…then I grew up and found out that life is not all pink and fluffy. I’m….” she hesitated but thought about what had come out of her sessions with Dr. S. and jumped in with the truth. “I’m too emotionally damaged now to give a man what he would need out of a relationship … I’m resigned that no one will ever love me, not as a woman, since the thought of sharing a bed and my body is terrifying. For a while I thought that Dr. S. had helped get me over that hurdle but after Bryan…well, it’s clear now that I need to abandon that dream. Why do you ask? I thought you didn’t consider marriage important ….didn’t we almost have an argument about this very subject once?””

He glanced at her, relieved when he saw that she was curious but not concerned.

“I didn’t, expect from a legal aspect…but things happen, change…Mia, are you happy? I need to know that you’re happy with our relationship, that you will stay with me…I’ve come to depend on you so much, not just as an assistant but as a friend who is always there for me…”

She stopped walking and he did too, turning to face her, conscious now of a tinge of fear in her eyes.

“You’re scaring me Urs…just say what you’re hinting at and let’s deal with it.”

He took a breath, reached for her hands and held them gently as he began.

“I think we should get married…I want to make it legal between us, to give you and Toni the protection you deserve and would have if we were a family…I could adopt Toni if we married…you know I already think of him as my son and love him as much as any father could…and you and I….we’re good together, you know that…we get along yet we’ve never really shared a bed, at least not…you know….I can find willing partners whenever I want…but I want YOU in my life…it makes sense, if you think about it logically…I don’t want to marry another woman, you don’t want another man, marriage would give us both stability, no more wondering if someone is going to come along and separate us or if Milo will manage to take Toni…he can’t if the court declares him my son. I never thought I would ever ask a woman to marry me, but I really want this, with you…So, Aramia Kramer…will you marry me?”

‘I’ve dreamt of this moment, but not this way…so cold, so impersonal…no mention of love…if only he had said he loved me, even a little…and if I say ‘No’ what then?…will we go on as we have been or will he find someone else? ….and what about Toni? …he deserves a Papa like Urs…no, there is no one like Urs…this man is an original, there are no more like him…and I want him in my life, anyway I can ….’

“Yes…Urs, I …L…like you so much….we ARE good together and I know you love Toni…he couldn’t ask for a better father….and being so close to you, as a friend, is enough for me, more than I deserve …so, yes, I will marry you, but be warned…..I hold the marriage vows as very binding…I will stay with you forever.”

He grinned at her, finally able to breathe again…. he leaned forward and kissed her cheek, giving her a quick hug, then rummaged in his jacket pocket for a moment before bringing out a small blue velvet box.

“Will you wear this? Just to kind of celebrate a change in our relationship…Getzi bought it for Sophia…I think she would be pleased to have you wear it.”

He held out a white gold ring with a solitaire diamond, not big and flashy like the newer models, the stone and setting rather old fashioned and delicate, the sentiment behind it something that made Mia’s eyes well with tears. She held her hand out and he slipped the ring on…a perfect fit.

“Thank you, Urs…this is more precious than anything you could have bought for me.”

‘So what do we do now? If this were a love match we would be kissing and hugging, so overjoyed at what we were going to do…I don’t know how to react to a convenience like this…do I treat it as if he has promoted me? Fool…of course you don’t… Oh Urs…if only I could love you physically, the way you deserve, the way my heart longs for…’

Urs was nearly choking on the emotions raging through him but holding himself in check…with great difficulty.

‘I want to hold her and feel her against my chest, take that tempting mouth in a kiss that would make her breathless…and scare her into running away…I can’t hold this love I have inside much longer…just to have her know how I feel would be enough until she’s ready…Aramia, I want to be able to touch you, to show you that all men aren’t like the ones you have known, to love you with patience and gentleness until you quiver with desire for what only I can give you… oh my little darling there is so much I can teach you…but only when you’re ready…’

He smiled as he took her free hand and they pulled the little wagon toward the tree line, each immersed in their own thoughts.

They finished their chore and headed back, talking now and then about the upcoming calendar until they neared the house and Mia asked “When?”

He leaned the wagon against the workshop wall and turned to her.

“I thought Friday…or is that too soon?”

“No, it’s perfect….Urs ….will you want me to…sleep with you as …as lovers? I don’t think I can.”

He hugged her and cradled her against his chest, speaking softly.

“I know….I want you to share my bed, but only to sleep…you know you can trust me, I’ve proved that often enough.”

“Right,” she said with a sigh. “We managed for a whole ten days sharing a bed because I’m not your ‘type’….and I suppose it will look strange if the newly wed Buhlers have separate rooms. But what will you do about…about…relief?”

He wiggled his fingers at her and smiled, sadly

“The same thing I’ve done since shortly after I met you…but I will be discrete, don’t worry about it.” He saw the question, then her cheeks flamed as she thought she knew what he meant: he would continue to see other women, now and then, but there would be no gossip….He sighed and didn’t correct her assumption, even though it was wrong, so very wrong.

**

She heard him go down the stairs. Her time was up.

Nerves near the breaking point now, she turned from the window and stared at her pale face in the mirror.

The woman staring back at her had all the qualities of a deer caught in the head lights…eyes huge and luminous, body tensed, ready to flee but unable to force frozen muscles to obey.

Yes, on the surface she looked the way she had wanted…feminine, not too frothy, dressed in a soft cream 3 piece suit of raw silk tailored perfectly for her once again slim figure, the left sleeve adjusted to accommodate her cast, a bit of cream lace above the swell of her bosom that just peeked out of the open neck of the collarless jacket, the skirt well above the knees and slit at the back for ease of walking. Matching shoes, Sophia’s pearls that Mami had given her that first Christmas and the matching pearl studs completed her outfit… Perfect, on the outside. Inside was where the turmoil lay.

‘How did I get into this mess? I can’t build a life with him based on a lie…I have to tell him…and then what? Will he want me to pack? Leave? Never see him again? Raise Toni as best I can and then when he leaves home, as he should when he’s older, pine away, alone, craving what could have been but for my deceit? And what of Toni? He loves Urs, just as Urs loves him…is it selfish to deprive them of the happy years they could have together, just because I find it painful to live a lie?’

She felt the tears welling up again and gritted her teeth, trying not to let her emotions sway what she knew deep in her heart must be done. The wad of tissues she used joined the large pile of others already discarded as she blotted tears from her cheeks and reached once more for the compact to repair the little makeup she had put on for what should have been such a joyous occasion.

Ready and determined, but trembling, she turned from the mirror, collected her small pearl-beaded handbag and left the room.

He was waiting in the Lounge, pacing back and forth restlessly.

‘Why, he’s nervous too!!....somehow I hadn’t expected that…he’s always so logical, so controlled…even when he first talked about the possibility of us marrying, it was as if he was discussing a performance contract, listing all the reasons why we each would benefit…and later when I had thought about it and we discussed it again, he was very clear about the rules… …..we would share the same bedroom for the sake of appearances but he would not ‘require’ me to be intimate with him, the choice was to be mine…in all other things we would share equally, as husband and wife…. and he would legally adopt Toni, to protect him from Bryan and Milo. How can I tell him now that I lied when I said that being his friend was enough?’

He looked up as she paused on the stairs and his eyes crinkled as he broke into a smile and came to meet her.

“You look amazing…but then you always do.”

He held both hands out to her, breathing in the light Honeysuckle scent of her body lotion as she came closer and he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

‘Mein Gott she’s trembling, I can almost see her body shaking with nerves…is marrying me without love so terrible?…or is she afraid I won’t keep my word once we are married?…Please, Liebe…don’t back down now…I couldn’t bear to lose you…’

“Ready?” he asked as she pulled away and placed her small purse on the table beside the sofa.

“Yes…NO!...Urs… we need to talk…there’s a…problem.”

She couldn’t face him, stood looking into the banked fire, her hands clasped together and nervously clenching.

“A problem? Aramia, look at me…tell me… what’s wrong?”

Slowly she turned and squared her shoulders, facing him but not meeting his eyes directly, unable to look any higher than his broad chest, not seeing how he had paled with fear.

“I…I…I lied….when we first talked about getting married…I lied to you.”

She gulped in a lung full of air, felt the tears begin to flood her eyes and continued, her words tumbling over each other in her haste to get it over with, to clear her conscience and accept whatever happened next.

“When you explained what a logical arrangement it was for us to get married, I accepted because I want to be your wife…not just a business partner, not what you thought you were getting….I love you, Urs, in every way it is possible for a woman to love a man…and I want to love you, physically, intimately, but I’m so afraid…and I know you don’t feel that way about me but I thought perhaps in time…I’ve dreamt about loving you and when we were going to meet in Paris I was going to confess to you but of course that fell apart and then I thought I could tell you in Geneva but then Bryan found me and the night mares came back…and I still love you but the thought of sharing you with other women…it’s unbearable…I will always love you but I can’t marry you knowing you will go to other women for the intimacy I’m not able to give you…though I want to but…..”

She wasn’t aware of him moving, only that his chest got bigger and closer as he swooped towards her and lay his long fingers against her lips, silencing her nearly hysterical speech.

His thumb moved under her chin and tilted her face up to his, gently, gazing into her eyes with a tender smile, his dimples gradually appearing as he brought up his other hand and wiped tears from her cheeks.

“You love me? You said you love me!!! Tell me again, Little One…I’ve waited so long to hear you say it…Tell me again.”

She blinked and remembered to breathe…he wasn’t angry…in fact he looked delighted… ‘What does he mean, he’s waited so long?’

“I tried not to, but I do love you, I think since you helped me cook for your Mami, or maybe before…I just know that one night when I calmed after a dream, I realized that I had been dreaming about making love with you and he came and pushed you away and I was hopelessly in love with you, my body ached for yours…and it has only gotten stronger the longer we are together….when the nightmares stopped I would dream every night about loving you….I know it’s not what you want but…”

“Oh my precious Little One…it IS what I want…I love you so much I ache with longing….”

“But…”

Urs stopped her the only way he could think of, leaning over and laying his mouth softly against hers, cupping her head with his hands as he increased the pressure of his lips and flicked his tongue tenderly across the plump surface while his body vibrated with the joy of at last tasting that mouth he had yearned so long for. She moaned as he delved between her slightly parted lips, tasting her, deepening the kiss, nibbling on her lower lip, dropping his hands to her body to pull her closer when she began to respond, timidly dueling with his tongue, her arms creeping up around his neck, fingers in his hair, straining to get closer.

They weren’t sure how long that first, mind-blowing kiss lasted, only that the feeling stayed with them, a giddy, euphoric, toe-curling heat that left them breathless, made them cling together for support, without speaking, for several minutes while their breathing tried to return to near normal and hearts stopped pounding quite so hard.

Mia was snuggled in his arms, her face against his chest, his resting against the top of her head, confusion gradually replaced by the joy she felt when he began to softly speak.

“I don’t know when I first started to love you, only that I knew what was happening when I was in LA that first time….I wanted so many times to tell you, but I was afraid you would run away, you were so determined not to let anyone close to you.”

He held her away from him a bit so he could look in her eyes.

“Mia, I lied as well…there will never be another woman for me…there hasn’t been since that dreadful Claudia time in Geneva…I love you, I will always love you, just as you are. I hoped that if I was very patient that someday you might love me too and perhaps even share making love with me…. No matter how long it takes I will wait…for now it’s enough to at last know that you love me.”

She squirmed closer, reaching her hands to his head and pulling his face down to hers.

“Please …kiss me again….don’t stop…”

They couldn’t stop, tasting, gently nibbling on lips, moaning with passion so long denied, sucking the sweet taste of their desire, exploring, tongues lapping, dueling for space, bodies fused but never close enough, giving and taking in turn, hands seeking the softness of heated skin…..

They didn’t hear Paco arrive and enter the foyer, stomping the snow off his boots before slipping them off and coming further into the house. He stopped in the doorway to the Lounge, stunned, then grinning when he saw them locked together in a blistering kiss that was hard to watch without becoming aroused.

“Hey, you two…wait until after the service will you?”

They broke apart, slowly, Mia to hide her face against Urs’ chest as she fastened the buttons of his shirt and then her own jacket, while he turned dreamy eyes to smile at his brother, slowly getting himself under control but still with her safely wrapped in his arms.

“She loves me, Paco,” he said softly and his smile deepened.

“I knew that…you two have been dancing around the truth for long enough…and you’re supposed to be getting married in 25 minutes… being late for your own wedding is no way to start off the next 50 or 60 years…Let’s go.”

There was a flurry of movement when they realized that indeed they had to get going or be late for the civil service. With only one pause while Paco helped Mia on with her long coat and hugged her, giving her cheek a quick kiss and a soft ‘I’m happy for you Little Sister’, they scurried to his truck and, with Mia in the middle, safely snuggled up against Urs, they were off.

**

Paco pulled into the parking slot in front of the town Hall, spraying gravel a bit as he came to a stop.

“Let’s go,” he said with a grin as he unclipped his seat belt and flung the door open, stepping out and slamming the door behind him. It had been a very one sided ride, Paco trying to be deaf and invisible and still drive safely, the two would-be lovers unable to stop touching each other, kissing often or just staring with wonder in each others eyes. He spotted Adrianne in the group waiting for them and wondered how long it would be before he could get her somewhere private and……….

Urs and Mia sat for a second, while he took her trembling hand and held it to his lips.

“I love you so very much, Liebeling…I will never hurt you, or knowingly do anything that makes you uncomfortable…but you must realize now that I ache to love you, though I will wait, as long as it takes. I don’t ever want you to be afraid of me.”

She reached up to caress his cheek and lost herself in the love she could see so clearly now in his eyes.

“I’ve never been afraid of you, Urs…only that I can’t respond to you the way I want…I’ve dreamed of loving you so often…all those nightmares…each time I felt so thrilled, thinking of you touching me, of your mouth taking mine, tasting so sweet and tender…but then HIS face would loom over me and chase you away and I would live that terrible night over again….it was better for a while after I saw Dr. S., but then when Bryan found me…I don’t know how to stop the nightmares, how to be a real woman, the responsive, loving woman you deserve….”

He opened the door of the truck and stepped out, holding his hands out to her and she came to him, moving into his embrace and raising her face to meet his mouth.

“We have all the time in the world, my little Love…just knowing we love each other is the first step.”

Paco waited on the sidewalk for them but they didn’t notice him, lost in their own world, mouths joined, bodies fused together, unmindful of the gathering people who watched, some with tears in their eyes.

At last they separated and, laughing guiltily at such a public display, turned to enter the building and were met with a crowd of happy faces.

The girls were beside Paco and Rianne, the children, husbands, Mami, Ciara holding Toni and Matthieu beside her, even Otto and his wife, cousins, Aunties and Onkles, everyone dressed in their Sunday best, Mami with a red rose in her hand that she slipped into Urs buttonhole, Irma with a lovely little bouquet of red roses and stephanotis that she handed to Mia with a grin.

“You should know better than to try keeping a secret in this family,” Mami said with a smile as she patted Urs cheek. “We’ve known all week…you should hurry, Liebelings or you will be late.”

It was a huge group that entered the stunned notary’s office, needing to leave the office door open so all could listen to the words that joined Urs and Mia legally, sharing in the joy as they promised to love one another…forever. And when they shared their first kiss as husband and wife it was only the cheering of their loved ones that brought them out of the thrall of finally not having to hide their feelings any longer.

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

For an impromptu party it was very well organized…but then Mami was the central force behind it so it was only to be expected.

Officially, Der Leider Haus was closed to the public but that didn’t stop a good many of the townsfolk from dropping in and enjoying the celebration, partaking of the bounteous food, homemade and commercial drink, dancing to the music spun by a young cousin with aspirations of becoming a DJ or to the raucous sounds of Conspiracy as they took the stage now and then.

Urs couldn’t be convinced to join the musicians, just smiling and grasping Mia’s hand firmly as he shook his head.

“I’ve waited a long time for this…nothing will get me away from her, not now,” he would say and lean over to kiss her eager, smiling face. He even danced with her once, a slow tune that Paco convinced Rayme to play, much to his disgust until he saw how happy it made the newly weds.

They circled the floor in a graceful, elegant waltz, moving as one, eyes only for each other, no obstacles in their path as the other dancers moved to the side to watch, some with moist eyes as they remembered the tenderness of newly declared love, even the younger watchers aware that this was a very special moment.

“I need to kiss you,” he said softly, his eyes burning with desire, smoldering with passion that made her heart leap.

No more wondering what the look on his face was…she knew, felt the intensity, shared the tremble that ran through him and made her vibrate with heat.

“I need you to…..” she answered and tilted her face just at the right angle for him to take her lips.

It started gently, a light touch of lips that created a fire deep within, deepened, as they stopped dancing, adjusting arms to get closer, deepened, as they stood in the center of the polished floor and shared what they felt within. The track ended and Rayme started another, this time of his choosing, the heavy back beat somehow appropriate for the moment and bringing Urs back to his senses.

He put his arm around Mia’s shoulders and led her from the floor, back to their table, sparing a tiny smile for Paco who made a ‘TOO HOT!!’ motion with his hand, shaking it as if burned.

Mami came to their table and leaned down to kiss Mia on the cheeks, doing the same to Urs and beaming with happiness.

“I have a favor to ask of you two…Let me have Toni for the weekend…you know you won’t get any peace out at the farm…every relative who didn’t make it here in time will be calling or dropping by….you need some time to get accustomed to this new relationship….Mein gott, you two certainly took your time!! I’ve known for months that you loved one another…I have scars on my tongue from biting it but I didn’t want to interfere.”

“All that matters now is that we know and we’re married…what we have will only get better every day of the next 60 or more years,” Urs answered, not so much to his mother but to his wife, his eyes never leaving her face for long.

He sighed and tore his gaze away from the indecision he could see in Mia’s eyes to face Mami.

“You’re right, of course….I’ve been foolish to think that we could go home and be left alone. But we didn’t prepare anything…and it’s nearly 2300H…too late to arrange and pack and……..”

“Ciara packed some essentials…buy anything she missed…and you can make the red-eye to Geneva if you slip out now…I happen to have a couple of spare tickets in my purse.”

Mia laughed and reached out to kiss Mami on the cheek.

“Now I know where Urs gets his devious streak from…you two are so alike sometimes….are you sure you wouldn’t mind taking Toni?”

“Pffft!! I plan to be the obnoxious Oma while he’s still a baby…all too soon he will be a teen and then you get to deal with him all the time…Didn’t anyone ever warn you about mothers-in- law?”

Mia laughed again and looked at Urs to see what he thought about going away. He was smiling and looked eager so she nodded.

“I know about the evil mother in law thing …and that you are the exception to that nasty rumor…I’ve had reports from Pol and Mon and Friedrich. Thank you Anya.”

They knew it would take forever if their departure was announced so they quietly eased to the doorway and vanished, escorted by Matt out to a taxi with two small overnight cases in his hands.

Once they were away and calming from the kisses they had indulged in the moment they were alone in the back seat, they snuggled and Urs whispered against her head.

“You seem to be concerned about something…talk to me, Love.”

“It’s just…well I know you won’t rush things even though we will be sharing a bed…but I don’t want to share the same bed Claudia was in…could we use the other room, Please…I know it’s sort of silly but it does bother me.”

He hugged her and kissed her brow.

“Are you forgetting that you married the Master at unveiling secrets? I was pretty sure by Tuesday what the family was up to but didn’t want to spoil their fun…and I was so pre-occupied, worrying that I was forcing you into something you didn’t want to do….I had the bed replaced, Love…and the bedding…and some other things…I didn’t know for sure that Geneva was the destination they had chosen until Wednesday when I called a friend at the airport, but that left me time to make a few arrangements. No matter how far our love takes us tonight, I want it to be a special night for you.”

**

They arrived at the condo just before one in the morning, greeted pleasantly by the Security on the Reception desk and entered the lift for the short ride up to their floor.

It wasn’t until the elevator doors opened for the third time that they broke apart, shaking and their breaths ragged as they released lips that were swollen from heated kisses.

“We have to stop doing this…long enough to get into the suite anyway,” Urs murmured against her ear and Mia sighed.

“If you insist…could we just remember where we were…I’d hate to lose my place.”

He groaned and caught the doors just as they closed…again… holding her hand and taking up both small cases in the other.

With the door safely shut, the cases dropped on the floor he drew her to him again and pushed her coat off her shoulders, letting it fall as his mouth started a trail along her neck and his fingers worked the buttons of her suit jacket.

The freshly healed thin red line of scar tissue across her upper chest caught his eyes and he kissed it tenderly, making her moan and twine her fingers in his curls.

“So ugly,” she murmured and squirmed against him.

“No…it’s a badge of honor…and will fade in time… Nothing …about you…could ever be ugly. You are…the woman…I’ve waited for…all my life!” He punctuated his words with gentle butterfly kisses that trailed up to her face, to the corners of her parted lips, changing the intensity as he took her mouth and crushed her to his body, not able to get close enough, to taste enough.

Mia managed to insert herself under his open coat and suit jacket, working the buttons of his shirt until she could lay her hands on his toned chest, gently exploring the thick mat of dark curls, the firm pecs, making him moan when her cool hands found the firm buds and tweaked them.

Urs gasped and left her mouth to nestle his face in the curve of her neck.

“Uh, Baby, we need to slow down before I embarrass myself…. you have no idea what you do to me!” He leaned back and smiled down at her. “Come see the changes I made…and all using the Internet…you’ll be so proud of your pupil.”

The lights had come on in the foyer when they entered and now they straightened up a bit, laughing as they collected coats and cases, hanging up the coats in the closet and going through into the Lounge area.

“Oh My…you have been a busy boy!”

The stark black leather furnishings were gone, replaced by softer warm sand calf skin couches and darker chairs…the red throws she had purchased on that earlier trip had been used as a base palette for the multicolored cushions scattered about, the sharp edged glass coffee table replaced with a round edged unit in creamy walnut that matched the end tables, and the feature wall, the one with the grand piano, had been painted, the same red as the throws, with the addition of muted copper music stands and small, comfortable chairs for any visiting performers. No longer did they have the same top on the dining table…instead the musical clefs base now held a large smoky oval with the edges done in a dark copper to match the refurbished base and the new chairs, padded and slip-covered in a rich taupe.

It seemed that the Egyptian cat on the hearth had produced kittens, each with a perky bow but in different colors and they all were residing on the mantel, out of the reach of little hands at a future date, replaced on the hearth by several flourishing green plants in dark copper pots that matched the new lamp bases with dark copper squat bases and taupe shades. And everywhere there were vases of flowers…white roses, red roses, fragrant Asiatic lilies, Orchids in arching sprays, colorful Alstromeria, small short vases of Freesia that lent their scent to the mix, exotic blooms of Strelitzia standing alone in tall slender containers…a cornucopia of delight from the botanical world to celebrate their union.

“Urs, it’s lovely…it’s like being in a garden, a wonderful exotic garden….and so many permanent plants too…Thank You, Love.”

“I made sure that all the plants are not poisonous and there are some extra pieces of furniture that we’ll need for the spare room…Toni’s room now. I thought you wouldn’t mind helping with that….what do you think? This is more US, isn’t it?”

Mia turned and grinned at him.

“You are absolutely amazing…it sounds like you’ve seen it...e.mail from the housekeeper?”

He smirked.

“You bet…I had to walk her through how to do it but for a ‘puter virgin she learned fast.”

Mia roared with laughter.

“Not so long ago that was you, Sport…but yes, you did very well…I love it, Urs.”

He wrapped his arms around her and smiled.

“Baby, I have to go do something for a couple of minutes….are you tired? I won’t be long but I would like a glass of champagne to celebrate when I get back.”

“I’ll take care of it…and I’ll be waiting for you.”

He left, reluctantly, and stepped into the lift again, no coat, only his mobile tucked into his pocket.

He glanced at his watch and almost didn’t call but shrugged and went ahead.

Steve answered on the first ring.

“Sorry to call so late but I just got into town…Mia and I got married today and we’re going to be here a few days…I wanted to know if it’s going to be safe for her.”

“No problem, Urs…I wasn’t sleeping…in fact I’m at the office, working on something else…the only news I have of Kramer is that as far as we know from Passport Control he has left the country, to Italy. You have one of the most secure buildings in town so there shouldn’t be a problem…just don’t let her go out alone until we locate him…it’s pretty easy for a determined person to get back into the country….and congratulations!!...I know you’ll be very happy…she’s a special lady.”

The next call was to Nate who wasn’t quite as pleasant at first but warmed up considerably when Urs told him about the wedding. He could hear a male voice in the background asking if there was a problem and felt guilty…obviously Nate’s partner, a pilot with Swiss Air, was home between runs. They chatted for another 10 minutes then Urs apologized again and replaced the mobile in his pocket to return upstairs.

**

Mia found the champagne, filled the bucket with ice and popped the cork with a soft, almost unheard, little expulsion of gases. She set it next to the new sofa with two flutes and went down the hall carrying her case and into her old bedroom out of habit.

The first thing she saw when the lights came up was the lilac shopping bag with the lingerie she had purchased, what seemed like months ago though it was only a few days.

She set her case down and began opening the boxes, spreading her purchases out on the bed and remembering the euphoria she had felt that day.

‘I was so sure of myself, so ready to tell him how I felt…and he already loved me though I wasn’t at all sure….Gott how I long to share with him…everything, not just our lives but our bodies…his kisses all day today have lit a fire inside of me….I wonder…’

Before she could lose her nerve she began to strip off her suit and lingerie, hurried into the bath for a very quick shower that avoided her hair, dried and put on lotion, then came back, naked, into the bedroom and slipped into a cream colored lacy thong, cream heeled slippers and held her breath as she slipped a lacy robe onto her body and tied the satin ribbons at her throat.

She gave her hair a quick brush, not daring to look in the mirror long for fear of being shocked at the lack of covering…the robe, though covering her from neck to toes and with full long sleeves, was also so see-through as to be non-existent.

‘Don’t think about it…just think about Urs, about how much he loves you, how gentle he can be, about how that lovely mouth on your skin makes you feel…I should dim the lights…there…that’s better…what if…don’t go there, Girl!!! Look in those eyes, drown in the love you see there….I could always pretend…NO!!! I will not cheapen the love we have with a lie…OMG, I’m so scared!’

She was standing at the balcony doors, back lit from the lights in the city when he came back into the suite and his breath caught in his chest like a vise squeezing his heart when he saw her.

He made it as far as the end of the sofa before his legs refused to carry him any further and he waited as she came to him, her robe billowing as she moved, revealing the lush body underneath the gauzy fabric, their eyes locked and welling with passion suppressed.

She stopped just short of touching him, suddenly confident and calm, though her body ached with a fever brought on just by the sight of the love in his eyes. She turned and poured them each a small amount of champagne in the flutes and held one out to him, neither speaking yet.

Urs gulped his down and set the glass to one side, his body painfully aroused, his mind trying desperately to regain some form of control.

Mia set her flute down after only a sip and reached her hand out to cup his cheek gently.

As if her touch had woken him from a daze, he placed a trembling hand on hers and moved it to his lips to kiss her palm.

“Mia....Little Love….you don’t have to do this…” he whispered, his voice sounding raspy even to himself.

She smiled and freed her hand, taking the ends of the satin ribbon that tied the top of her robe and tugging.

“I know….I want to…” she said and let the robe fall open.

CHAPTER FORTY EIGHT [B]….. LOVE MAKES THE DIFFERENCE

‘This is a dream,’ he thought as she worked his suit jacket off his shoulders, slowly and carefully folded it and draped it over the back of the sofa before turning her attention to the black pearlized buttons of his shirt.

‘I’ve wanted this for so long, my mind is playing tricks…again ….but never before with the feeling of her little hands against my skin…OMG that feels so good, so warm and gentle….and when she moves I catch glimpses of her body inside that filmy gown….’

He stretched one hand out the few inches to touch her, just above the thin red line of scar tissue, pulling back as the soft texture of her skin seemed to burn his fingertips, then with more confidence, touching her again, running his hand up and over her shoulder, causing the robe to slide off and cascade to the floor.

A tremor ran through her body, transmitting to his hands and echoing through him, not fear he saw as his gaze on her eyes never faltered…desire, passion too long with-held and deep within, the heat in his belly turned to all-encompassing flame…she raised her face to his, stepping closer and his restraint broke, vanishing like smoke on a windy day as he leaned into her kiss, speaking in the language of lovers since time began, sharing, worshiping, consuming, alone but together in their world of love.

**

They were both breathless when they finally made it into the bedroom and stretched heated bodies out on the new bed, the exquisite torture of exploring these new sensations not to be hurried in fear that some delicious delight may be missed.

‘I’ve never really shared love before…not like this…all those other women…only pale imitations of the joys that are possible when you love each other as we do…this is like singing the most beautiful Aria ever written and getting ever nuance, every note perfect….I want to yell, to roar like a lion…to have this night never end!!!’

Urs left the treasure he had found and went back to her sweet mouth, rolling them over so she nestled under him, intending to take his superior weight on his arms but he was too late.

He realized immediately that he had done something to change the mood…her body had stiffened under his, her hands were pushing at his chest and when he looked into her eyes the passion was gone, replaced by such fear that she seemed ready to scream with panic.

“STOP!! Can’t breathe! Get off me!! Let me go!! Please, don’t do this!!”

He rolled to the side and she lunged away, scooting out of the bed and racing to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

His shorts were where he had dropped them and he pulled them on, his body tense and subsiding, only concern rushing through him now as he went to the door of the Lav. Inside, he could hear her weeping as he tentatively opened the door.

She was curled in a ball on the floor, hugging her knees up to her chest and looked up when he entered, not in fear now, just abject sorrow.

“Urs…I’m sorry…when I felt the weight of you it was like Milo was there, crushing me…I could hear him, smell him and my breath left my body…. I ache with longing to love you, but the fear comes back and takes over…When will those memories go away, WHEN?”

He pulled one of the extra large bath sheets from the rack and knelt to wrap it around her, crooning softly as he took her gently into his arms and held her against his chest.

“Hush, Little Love…we’ll chase those fears away…it will just take time…and patience…and we have all the time in the world.”

He picked her up and cradled her in his arms, careful of the ribs that no longer needed taping but were still sensitive, taking her back to their bed, clicking the light on and sitting on the edge.

The comment Paco had made so many weeks ago came back to him and he groaned silently as he realized that somehow, this night, they had to settle this problem but it had to seem as if he wasn’t concerned, was willing to wait.

‘I think for Mia to overcome this fear she has from being so badly abused she will have to learn that sharing love is about both partners, that she has the right to control the situation…in fact I think unless she is allowed to take control at first, she will never completely heal.’

“I want to make you happy, to give you the pleasure you’ve never had but deserve. There are many ways of sharing love, Liebeling,” he whispered softly against her head, gently brushing her hair back with one long fingered hand as his mouth began a lazy journey along her neck.

“Trust me, Mia…I’ll never hurt you….I’m so full of love for you, only you….use me to take the pleasure you crave…take what you long for…”

He found her eager mouth, gently this time until she deepened the kiss, winding her arms around his neck, embracing him with a frenzied passion that verged on desperation. Slowly, tenderly, he calmed her, touching her with gentle fingers, with a soft caressing mouth that trailed butterfly kisses across her neck and collarbone until she was lost once again in the emotion that coursed through her.

He eased back on the soft pillows holding her eyes captive with his, the heat smoldering between them with just a glance. He took her hand and placed it on his flat stomach.

“I’m yours, my little love…do with me what you will.” He reached out to turn off the light but she shot him a look that begged him not to, shaking her head and murmuring “ Please…leave it on….”

The specter that had haunted her for so long never returned as with each touch, each delirious moment of increasing passion they healed her soul and fulfilled the longings that their hearts had craved.

She explored his body, like a rare and precious gift that had to be touched, viewed, tasted from all angles, slowly and with delight at each new revelation. He moaned as she ran her tongue over his belly and moved on, her naked breasts softly stroking his manhood as she moved down past his hips. He heard the gasp as he hardened, his penis standing proud and stiff, engorged with blood that turned the thick shaft dark.

‘Is she frightened…am I too big? Please, Love, don’t be frightened of me…I won’t hurt you…we’ll fit…let me touch you, let me make you so wet with longing that I’ll slide right into the velvet softness of you…’

He moved a hand down to touch her and she backed away, looking up to his eyes with a glazed expression in the depths of her green pupils.

“Not yet…”

Her little hand cupped his sacs, gently kneading, she dipped her head down, moving his legs apart…and made him cry out when she tenderly licked him, then sucked on them, taking them into the moist warmth of her mouth.

‘Ach!! I’m going to die!! OH Love……OH that feels incredible!! … OH, Mia… harder, please, Baby harder…you’re so gentle, so timid, as if you aren’t sure you please me with your touch…..Mein gott, I’m going out of my mind!!...but I can’t rush her.....ACH!! I’LL .. DIE .. IF .. SHE .. STOPS!!!!!’

Slowly she let her mouth wander back up past the curly nest where his cock usually rested, along the length of him, her cool fingers holding him steady, that warm tongue tracing the vein that ran the length and she worked the skin, drawing it down away from the head…and again he cried out when her tongue found the drips of pre-cum on the tip and licked…suddenly his cock was in her mouth, that gentle mouth with the warm tongue that folded around him, and she sucked, softly, then harder when he moaned, moving her hand in a corkscrew motion that slid the foreskin up and down, finding a rhythm with instinct that he couldn’t resist. His hips rocked and he clutched at the rumpled sheets, nearly ready, not sure if he could hold back…and she left him to slide up his body and share the taste of him, taking his mouth with a whispered ‘Touch me…please… touch me now.’

She was wet, juicy and wet when he reached between her thighs and parted the folds to stroke her clit. She bucked under his hand, their mouths still joined and he left her lips to bite her neck, leaving his mark there when he sucked her flesh. His fingers went further, only his thumb caressing her clitoris in soft but firm strokes and his fingers found the source of the wetness, slid inside, one, then two, curling to touch the back wall of her tunnel and softly pet her G spot, making her whimper with lust.

She fumbled for his cock, sitting up abruptly and guiding the head to the opening where he longed to be, raising up on her knees just enough to position him perfectly…and then she sank onto him, her body closing around him with a velvet heat, the softness rippling as she rose and fell, taking him in further with each stroke.

He reached for her hands and held them out to the side, rocking his hips, driving himself in further, deeper, swelling with the need to burst and pour his seed into her eager body.

“More…harder…OH…OH…URS!!!” she screamed as they reached the peak together and he thrust into her, held in place by the spasms that swept through her body and milked his penis, his seed a hot flood that bathed her inside. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move, just stayed with her, joined in love as the joy of orgasm robbed him of conscious thought or movement.

After minutes of after shocks that never seemed to end, she collapsed on his chest and he cradled her in his arms, trying to breathe, unable to speak, stunned speechless by the intensity feelings he had never, ever achieved before.

**

Urs’ body-clock woke him at dawn, as always, but he lay in bed, listening to Mia breathe and feeling the warmth of her against his chest.

He thought about what they had done not all that long ago and felt his body stir, smiled as he reminded himself that he no longer needed to hide the reaction he had when he thought about this precious woman.

Paco had been right…there was no more hesitation, no intruding terrors, just a slow and torturous building of passion that was without a doubt the best experience he had ever enjoyed, EVER!!

Did loving your partner make the difference? Apparently it did since he had been with some very experienced lovers in the past, but none to equal the tentative but thorough, loving exploration, the sensuous trip that Mia had taken him on.

He leaned down to kiss her soft skin and smiled when she opened her eyes and whispered in a sultry voice.

“I think it’s my turn to be submissive, Swiss….”

This time when he gently braced his torso against her heaving bosom, his heart leapt with joy when she merely clutched him closer, arching her back and sighing with pleasure.

They didn’t wake again until nearly noon.

**

She was in the kitchen, scrounging through the cupboards and frig for something to make for breakfast when he came from shaving. He paused in the doorway, enjoying the view of her, in one of his old tee shirts that he left at the condo for workouts, still wet from the shower they had taken…and that took forever when they got ‘distracted’.

“If we got dressed I would take you out for brunch,” he said coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her, not in a hug this time but so he could fill his hands with two soft, round orbs.

She laughed and ground her bottom against him, satisfied with the power she had over this adorable man when she felt him react.

“Do you ever get enough? Maybe you should have your testosterone level checked out…”

Urs laughed and leaned down to nibble on her tasty neck.

“Me? Who was at fault that our shower took so long the water started to cool?”

“Yours…You’ve wakened something in me and you’re just so darned sexy……”

“If I just didn’t love you so much…it makes such a difference, Liebe…I’ve been to heights with you that I’ve never reached before…it’s a first time for both of us…we’ve started out clean and pure, no past, only a future that holds amazing possibilities.”

His kiss, when she tilted her head back to receive it, was tender, so full of love that she wanted it never to end, but they came up for air and he rocked her against his body, nestling his head in the curve of her neck.

“We have to use a little restraint, Love…that’s 3 times without protection… I do have condoms, just couldn’t tear myself away to use them.”

“Are you worried about getting me pregnant? Urs, Dr. Weiber put me on the pill after Toni was born…to regulate my erratic periods he said. So we don’t have to worry….but I thought you wanted more children?”

“I do…it’s just that Toni is not even 8 months old yet…and I don’t want to turn you into a baby factory…and I think we need some time to enjoy belonging to one another….it’s going to be impossible to leave you and go off with my work, not now that we don’t have to pretend to only be business partners. As soon as Nate works things out for me to adopt Toni, then I want to tell the world that I love you, that we’re married and we have an amazing son.”

His stomach grumbled, letting him know that it had needs too and she laughed as hers answered, just a little more discretely.

“The housekeeper left us enough that I can make you some Birchermuesli, maybe even some eggs and wurst…the coffee is ready so go drink it and quiet down your tummy while I throw something together…I get the feeling you aren’t really interested in getting dressed.” She glanced at his nice clean, grey shorts and patted the bulge that he couldn’t hide, licking her lips and making him groan.

“And you talk about me being insatiable!!...Feed me Woman!!…I need fuel before my next workout.”

Mia chuckled and Urs poured himself a coffee, taking it through into the dining area, a broad grin on his face.

‘We’ll be lucky if we leave here all week-end….I didn’t think I could love her more than I already did…but I was wrong….’

When he had finished his breakfast she cleared the dishes away then came back to straddle his lap, sitting facing him with her hands on his shoulders.

“There’s so much I need to learn…will you teach me?”

He laughed and kissed the tip of her nose.

“Actually I think you have great instincts….but what would you like to know?”

She reached between them and dipped her hand inside his shorts, taking his semi-erect penis in her hand and her eyes getting big and surprised when it hardened, filling her hand to over flowing.

“I haven’t seen many men, but I would venture a guess that you’re kind of big…Yes?”

He laughed again.

“I think we already proved that we fit together quite nicely. Mia that feels so good….” His eyes darkened and she smiled.

“Will you teach me how to…how to blow you?”

“I could but I’d rather be inside you, sharing what we feel.”

“But sometimes…like at a concert when you don’t have a bed…before we met didn’t you sometimes let one of the girls …you know.”

He roared with laughter and leaned forward to kiss her mouth.

“Are you trying to ask about previous experiences in a sort of round about way? And Love you don’t always need a bed… even when you aren’t being rough…”

He kissed her again, this time with enough tongue action to make her wilt in his arms…and his hand dropped between them to reach under her shirt and lightly stroke her pubis.

With a smooth move he stood and lay her back on the table, flipped her legs up across his chest and onto his shoulders and dropped his face to her bush to rub against her mound.

“Spread your knees, Love,” he whispered, using his fingers to spread her folds then touching her with his tongue, flicking her clitoris, leaning forward to draw it into his mouth and suck gently, exchanging places with his thumb on her clit as he moved further down …and plunged his tongue inside her wet opening.

The feeling was exquisite and her body shuddered with spasms, beginning to climax. Quickly he freed himself from his shorts and slid into her, pumping, driving her back up, moaning when her muscles clenched his cock tightly. His hands slid under her bottom and lifted, allowing him to go deeper and she cried out, matching his rhythm, clutching at his wrists…and they swept over the peak once more.

He lifted her off the table and sat back in the chair with her wrapped against his body, shaking with after shocks.

After a few minutes he began to chuckle and she raised her head to look at him.

“I was just thinking…now that you are in my life, I may never have to go to a gym again.”

“Can we do this every day?”

“Except when you’re on your period…or don’t want to.”

She laughed and hugged him.

“Like that’s ever going to happen…so what’s normal?”

“Do you care? Normal is probably another way of saying BORING and I have a feeling making love with you will NEVER be boring!”

**

It wasn’t until late in the afternoon on Sunday that they finally came down stairs and went out…and then only because they had run out of supplies and needed to go to a restaurant for dinner.

Still it was pretty obvious to anyone who looked at them, holding hands, stopping to exchange kisses when the impulse became too strong to ignore, that they were, at the very least, lovers.

This time when they found the benches that would in a month be coated with ice, they sat on one of them drinking frothy hot chocolate from a kiosk…and of course Urs had to lick the extra froth off of Mia’s lips, which led to more kissing and more smiles from passers by.

“Wow…so, Swiss Lover, who are you and what have you done with my shy and reserved husband?”

He laughed and rubbed his cool face over hers.

“I’ve waited so long to be able to touch you, to taste your sweet mouth…I don’t seem to be able to stop now. It doesn’t matter who sees us or knows how much I love you…I just do and nothing will ever change that….”

They stopped at a small out of the way restaurant and ordered Raclette, the house specialty, then when that had been devoured, topped the meal off with a lovely chocolate fondue and several glasses of wine.

Urs of course, cheated, knowing the Swiss custom of having to kiss the person on the left if your morsel fell off the fork…he sat on Mia’s left, almost touching on the padded banquette, and when the kisses were too slow coming dueled with her thin fork until he got his reward. She retaliated with a smoldering kiss that left him breathless but once again Swiss ingenuity came to the rescue and he waited until she excused herself for the washroom and followed quietly, surprising her by a nudge into the room {unoccupied thankfully} locking the door and introducing his little wife to yet another new position for loving.

Their waiter smiled knowingly when they returned to the table…he had been in the business for a good many years and had seen it all…tonight when he told his wife about the handsome young man and his lovely partner, he would describe the man as returning smug, but happy and the young woman as glowing.

Soon after the washroom episode they left, walking slowly back to the condo in the evening mist, enjoying the Christmas decorations and lights that were already beginning to festoon the buildings and streets, planning a quiet evening of watching one of the new videos that his service sent out automatically once a month.

They went to see Nate Monday morning, vowing that tonight they would actually watch the video of ‘Stardust’ that they had played but not seen more than a few snippets of the night before. Mia blushed furiously when she noticed an older woman on the street smile at them, clearly having heard enough of their conversation to understand what had happened. Urs laughed at her and hugged her closer.

“It was that little scrap of red lace that you wore, that…bustier I think you called it…you know red is my favorite color…and the stockings, thong and garter belt with those high heels…I would have had to be a monk to resist.”

“Don’t lay it all on me, Swiss…that chocolate sauce was your inspiration…”

“Ja, and a good one…we’ll have to try that again.”

She was laughing when they entered Nate’s office and were waved in by the receptionist.

Nate was his usual boisterous self, coming across the room and hugging Mia, shaking Urs hand and beamed a mile wide smile at their very evident happiness.

“So this marriage of convenience turned out to be a little more, I see…you my musical friend look like the proverbial cat and Mia, the very willing canary. By the way, Urs, Sig sends his regards, congratulations and thanks…he has trouble relaxing once he has been awakened…it took some…. effort….. to get him soothed enough to drift off again.”

Urs laughed and wondered if Mia understood what his friend was talking about without coming right out and saying it.

“Tomorrow my friend is going to file papers for the adoption of your son…I just need his official birth records and a copy of your passport, Aramia and we’ll get things rolling. To be safe for the future we will have to let Villetti know our intentions, but I don’t foresee any problems there…nothing we can’t handle anyway.”

“What happens if he contests it?” Mia asked gripping Urs hand with white knuckles until he winced and she realized what she was doing.

“Then we go to court…it may leak out to the media but there really isn’t any chance that he would win…your pregnancy was the end product of a rape, there is no way, from what Urs has told me, that there can be any trash about your reputation that they can dig up and financially you are both more than capable of caring for the child. Ideally we can confront him privately about what he did and hope that he withdraws his claim…it would be best for your careers…Ja! Ja!... I know that’s not the important thing to either of you…and also the stigma wouldn’t follow the little fellow into later years.”

“Money is some kind of Gott to the man…should we perhaps try to buy him off?” Urs asked even though the thought was repugnant to him.

“Definitely not!! He could take whatever you paid and then still sue for custody…and have a firmer basis for blackening your moral reputation. Nein, leave it with me and I’ll be in touch as soon as I know more. Until then, get out of here, go enjoy your lives….Urs, you look happier than I think I have ever seen you, even as a youngster. And Aramia…you simply radiate joy!! I’m so happy for both of you.”

They rose and once more were kissed and hugged.

“Nate, come out and visit us on the farm if you need some peace and quiet from the rat race here…and bring Sig…we have a lovely south facing guest bedroom that would be perfect for the two of you,” Urs said.

“OUT IN THE WILDS? I don’t think so, though I do appreciate the offer…come to think of it Sig would love it…he’s much more into that sort of thing than I am.”

Urs laughed and took Mia’s hand, ready to leave.

“We aren’t exactly roughing it, Nate…no dirt floors or goats in the kitchen…we actually have electricity and running water.”

“I’ll think about it. Now go…I have another appointment in a few minutes and seeing all this passion simply pouring out of you two, I want a few moments to call my own lover and talk dirty.”