~*~ Urs & The Kissing Hand~*~ BY: Sue

Chapter 96
Hi’s and Low’s

“Hi little shopper, I miss you.”

“Hi Urs, it’s so good to hear you. How did the show go?”

“I managed to get Mami and Papi tickets. It went well. We sang Senza. I’m here with them now at their hotel. Just a minute…”

Susanna could hear several people laughing and speaking Swiss German in the background.

“They’d like to talk to you. Do you mind?” Urs asked as he turned away from the phone and said something in Swiss German.

“What? You mean ALL of them?” Susanna gulped.

“Of course. Here, just a minute.”

Before he could tell her who was on the other end of the phone, she heard Urs counting, then “Gruezi, Susanna!” in a loud chorus.

When she stopped laughing, Susanna shouted “Gruezi, everyone!” back into the receiver, hoping Urs didn’t have his ear too close.

Laughing, Urs came back on the line, “Well, you’ve officially met Mami, Papi, Felix, and Inga his wife. What? Ja,…”

“Hello, Susanna?” said an older woman’s voice, slightly more accented than Urs.

Susanna swallowed hard, “Hello?”

OK Susanna breathe, this must be Urs’ mother. She just wants to say hello. OMG It’s Mami!

“I just wanted to say hello to you, Susanna. Urs has told me about you and I can see you are special to him.”

“It is so nice to talk to you, Mrs. Buhler. Thank you so much for those delicious recipes. Urs says I remind him of you when I bake cookies.”

“Mami.”

Susanna couldn’t help smiling, she sounded exactly like Urs when he corrected her about calling her Mami, not Mrs. Buhler.

“Mami, yes, well thank you again,” Susanna surrendered.

“You probably know by now my Urs has a sweet tooth, especially for cookies.”

Boy do I know. Those apple dumplings almost didn’t make it home.

“Yes….Mami. I ration his cookies and I make him promise to share with the others when I send some with him,” Susanna chuckled at how well they both knew Urs.

“I am so glad to speak to you. I look forward to meeting you. I need to give the phone back to Urs now.”

“Mami?”

“Yes?”

“Your son is special to me too.”

“See I kept telling you it’s Mami, not Mrs. Buhler, but you wouldn’t listen,” Urs teased.

“Urs, just answer yes or no OK?” Susanna’s asked anxiously.

“Ja.”

“Do you think she likes me?”

“Hmmmm…I’ll have to think about that.”

Susanna could hear the voices getting fainter, then a door closing, and only then only Urs.

“Ja, Houdini. She likes you, wery much. You know the way I grin? Well I got it from her,” Urs voice smiled.

Susanna heard knocking on a door.

“I need to go now. Someone needs to come in. We’ve got an interview tomorrow and a late flight back so I’ll call when I get back to say goodnight at least. I love you.”

“Urs are you talking from the bathroom?”

“Well it was the only room where I could get any privacy to talk to you,” Urs explained logically.

“Good thinking there, Bag Boy. I love you. Can’t wait to talk to you tomorrow. Be safe.”

Boy am I tired. I thought that hot tub would fix up the last of my aching muscles, but it hasn’t seemed to help much. Ok BB, Jr. snuggle time.

********************

One of the reasons Susanna had over 50 sick days to her credit was her philosophy about illness. She considered it a sign of weakness. Not that she would risk her health or that of her students by coming to school when she was truly sick, but a little sniffle, headache, or the occasional sore throat had never deterred her.

So on Wednesday morning, her scratchy throat was accounted for by too much talking and laughing with Dar, the headache was the result of too many late nights, and the aches to too much Urs. ‘Scratch that idea, impossible!’, she grinned to herself.

Just to be sure, she scrupulously washed her hands, applied all her tried and true remedies and thought positive thoughts. One more day till Urs and four until the concert. If that didn’t perk her up nothing would.

Her regimen seemed to work well through the school day and long faculty meeting afterwards but by the time she hit the door of her apartment she’d had the program. Time to bring out the big guns: acetaminophen, a nice long hot bubble bath, THE PINK ROBE, chicken soup and peep peep birdie sandwiches.

By 8:00 she and BB Jr. were firmly ensconced in bed with the phone nearby and Il Divo lullabying her to sleep.

Susanna jumped when the phone rang. She groped for the receiver and finally picked up on the third ring.

“Urs?” she answered in a gravelly voice.

“Hi, Houdini, sorry if I woke you.”

“No, I just had an early night. I’ve been waiting. It’s so good to hear your voice. Are you just getting back?” she turned to look at the clock, 10:30.

“Ja, I just walked into my apartment. Is it too late to come over? You must have been tired tonight.”

“I missed you so much and I’d love to see you but I think I might be getting a cold or something and I don’t want you to catch it.” Susanna downplayed how she really felt. No need to worry Urs.

“Are you sure that’s all it is? How do you feel?” Urs worried.

“I just have a little scratchy throat and feel achy. I’m sure it’s nothing. Don’t worry. I’ve taken some acetaminophen, and I had chicken soup. I’ll be fine in the morning. I just need a good night’s sleep.”

“What about peep sandwiches?” he asked.

“Yes, those too. See I’m taking good care of myself,” she smiled at his remembering.

“Are you sure I don’t need to rub some of that paint thinner on your chest? What about the turkey baster?” Urs laughed, thinking about his ‘treatments’.

“I’m positive, Bag Boy.” Susanna managed a careful laugh despite her headache.

“Promise you’ll stay home tomorrow if you’re still not feeling well,” Urs fussed.

“OK I promise,” she replied, rolling her eyes.

“And go to the doctor if you feel worse?” he continued.

“Yes, mother,” she sighed.

“Ok then, I’ll call first thing tomorrow to see how you’re feeling. I don’t mean to nag you but I love you.”

“I know, Urs, I don’t mean to sound grouchy. It touches my heart that you care so much. I love you, night.”

“Night, Houdini. Sleep well.”

************

Susanna gradually woke up and cautiously opened one eye. Then the other. No headache at least, but everytime she swallowed it hurt so much she had to move her head. It felt as if there was a ping pong ball lodged in there. Not good. She checked the clock. The doctor’s office opened in an hour.

“Good morning, Houdini. How are you feeling? Any better?” Urs the Well asked anxiously.

“Hi, Bag Boy. I’m taking your advice and play hookie,” said Susanna the Sick.

“You’re talking funny. Is your throat worse?” Urs observed.

“A little, and I have a slight fever, 100 degrees. I’m just waiting until the doctor’s office opens to call and see if I can come in sometime today. I’ll call you when I find out something.”

“I’ll check my schedule. Maybe I can take you,” Urs started to overthink.

“Urs, no. I’m perfectly capable of driving. For goodness sake, stop worrying. Get a grip. I’ll call when I know something. I need to get cleaned up. I have to go now. I love you, alright?” Susanna said in her teacher voice.

“OK, but I love you and I’m calling later so leave your phone on. Drive safely,” Urs relented, but needed to have the last word.

Chapter 97
Estranged

I feel like I’ve been ridden hard, ridden often, and put away wet.

Susanna and BB Jr. snuggled on the sofa as she iPoded with her eyes closed waiting till it was time for her 2:00 appointment. Urs had already called twice, trying not to sound worried and failing miserably.

*************

Her motorcycle rang again at 2:30.

“Hi Susanna, are you home?” Urs the Anxious asked.

“No, Urs, I’m still here at the doctor’s office. He’s doing a rapid strep test. He thinks it may be strep throat. It only takes about 5 minutes. I’ll call you when I get home. Don’t worry please. Bye.”

“OK…but be sure to call me the minute you get home please? I love you. Bye.”

**********

As Susanna waited for her prescription to be filled she tried to look at the bright side. Yes she definitely had strep and felt like crap. Yes she would be contagious for at least 24 hours after she started her antibiotics and until the symptoms subsided. Yes she couldn’t dare see Urs but yes with any luck at all she’d still be able to make the Dublin concert on Sunday. After all today was only Thursday.

Clutching her 10-days-worth of antibiotics and this last thought to her like a comforting blanket, she drove home and prepared to call Urs with the bad/good news.

”Hi Urs, it’s me.” Susanna could hear what sounded like snippets of singing, rather like a sound check in the background.

“Hi, how are you? What did the doctor say?” Urs pointed to the phone and motioned he was leaving for a minute and got a nod from the others.

“I’m sorry, you were in the middle of something. I’ll call later.”

“No, we’re just wrapping up. I told the guys you’d be calling. It’s OK. Now what did he say?” Urs voice was full on concern.

“Well, it is strep. I have to take antibiotics for 10 days. But when my temperature is normal in about 24 hours I should start feeling better and then in another day I shouldn’t be contagious. Until then you need to stay away though. We can’t take a chance of you getting sick,” Susanna’s teacher voice warned.

“Have you started taking your antibiotics yet?” asked Urs the Nurse.

“I just took the first one. I’m so sorry I got sick Urs. I probably got it from Jessica. She went home sick on Monday. I didn’t mean to be sick. Honest.” Susanna tried to keep the tears out of her voice.

“Shhh Shhhh It’s OK, don’t cry. I just want you to feel better,” Urs said trying to comfort her.

“Well the good thing is I still can probably make the concert because in 24 hours it’s only Friday night and then another 24 hours to feel better and then I won’t be contagious so I can get a flight early Sunday and be there for the concert that night. It will still work out,” Susanna the Optimist said brightly.

“Do you really think you could? I mean if you’re not still contagious of course. I mean I didn’t want to ask you to come if you’re not feeling well but you know how much I would love for you to be there!.” the old excited Urs was back.

Can you believe that lovely, sweet man? Just when I think I can’t love him more he does some wonderful thing and it’s like I fall in love with him all over again. He’s more worried about me being sick than me being at the concert. I know how he’s counting on me being there and I’m sure going to do everything I can to not disappoint him.

“Urs, you know how much I love you and I’ll follow all the doctor’s orders exactly so I can be there to see you. I’m just so disappointed I won’t be able to go with you on Saturday and see how you set up everything. It will be so exciting. And most of all I won’t get to see you until the concert,” Susanna lamented.

“We’ll just have to make up for it when I do see you then, Houdini. While you and BB Jr. are recuperating why don’t you think up some more letters we can try,” said the Isabel voice with a wicked chuckle.

“Right. Bag Boy. I’m hanging up now. Remember I’m trying to lower my temperature and you certainly aren’t helping!” Susanna laughed.

“Bye Houdini, I’ll call tonight to see how you’re doing.”

“Bye Bag Boy. I’ll be thinking.”

*************

Susanna and BB Jr. were watching ‘Casablanca’ and drinking hot chocolate when Urs rang the buzzer.

“Urs, you can’t be here. I’m contagious. Go away,” Susanna whispered into intercom.

“I won’t get close, I promise. Just buzz me in. I’ll call you when I get off the elevator. I’ll stay at the other end of the hall. Promise. I just want to see you. Please,” Urs said in his best wheedling Isabel voice. Now who in their right mind could resist? Not Susanna.

“I’m by the elevator. It’s safe to open your door. You have to at least touch me to be contagious,” Urs whispered.

Susanna opened the door to at least three dozen long-stemmed blood-red roses, arranged in a tall crystal vase among a feathery mass of baby’s breath.

“The florist doesn’t deliver after 7,” her grinning Swiss Lover said at the far end of the hall.

Susanna opened the card,

‘Do your magic Houdini and get well soon.

I love you.

Your Bag Boy’

She hugged it to her and managed to get out “Thank you, Bag Boy. I love you too” before her eyes filled up.

Urs ventured closer until they were about six feet apart to carry on their conversation. It was very uncomfortable not being able to touch each other. Urs stuffed his hands in his pockets and Susanna plucked out one of the roses and held it, giving their hands something to do.

“Look at us. We’ve only been an official couple for a few weeks and we’re ‘estranged’ already,” Susanna quipped.

“Well you know how it is when we go on the road, a new city, a new woman,” Urs’ Killer Grin teased.

“You know all those very high notes David hits, ja? Well you’ll be able to go an octave higher if you try that, Bag Boy! Plus no more cookies!” Susanna’s attempt to look seriously threatening wound up being a sputtering laugh.

Urs the Actor grabbed himself in mock terror. Then a smile split his face and his shoulders shook with laughter. “Oh you mean like Mami’s cookies!”

Susanna’s face turned every shade of red on an artist’s palette as she suddenly realized what he was thinking.

“It’s a good thing you’re too far away to thump, Urs Buhler, or I’d give you a great whompping one. Shame on you! I’ve a good mind to tell your Mami. You are bad, so bad,” Susanna scolded in almost a principal voice.

“And you love it, and you love me,” he smirked.

“Yes, I do, hopelessly, you big, lumpy Swiss Bag Boy.”

“I am not lumpy.”

“Well you would be if I could get close enough to thump you! But since you’re to far away I’ll just have to feed you instead. Wait there. I’ll be right back.” Susanna carefully carried her vase of roses inside and returned with a tin of cookies.

“These are from the freezer and I haven’t touched them so they’re safe. I’ll leave them here by the door and you can get them after I close it. Now what’s the rule?”

“Urs held up his hand as if he was in court to testify. “I promise to share.”

I may have promised to share but you didn’t say how many I had to share. Gotcha!

“I need to leave and let you get your rest so you can get better. I just really missed you and wanted to see you,” Urs said softly.

“You make me feel so loved and special. Thank you for that. You know I don’t need presents all the time, just you. You’re the best present I could have. I’ll go in now. Night, Urs, I love you,” she kissed her hand and put it over her heart.

“Sweet dreams, Susanna. I love you.” Urs repeated the Kissing Hand.

As Susanna opened the door she turned around, “Oh and as soon as I’m better, you bring the cookies and I’ll bring the milk,” she grinned and closed the door.

Chapter 98
Berry Bad

Urs call woke Susanna at 7:00. So much for letting the patient sleep in.

“Morning, Houdini, sorry if I woke you but I thought it might be time to take your pill. Go open your door. Don’t worry I’m by the elevator.”

“Urs, what in the world are you doing?” Susanna stumbled sleepily to the door in her flannel gown and opened it to a steaming, café mocha and a fragrant bag by the door and the handsome delivery man smiling by the elevator. She just wanted to gobble all of them up at once.

“You are such a sweetie. Thank you Bag Boy. This is such a nice treat.”

“This doesn’t begin to make up for all the fuss I made over just a little cold. You’re really sick yet you don’t complain like I did. All you think of is me and the concert.”

“I was just so upset thinking how I might not get to go, that’s all.”

“How do you feel? Any better?”

“Well I slept pretty well. My throat seems about the same. I’ll take my temperature before I have my coffee. Call me later?”

“Of course. Gotta run now. I love you.”

“I love you too. Thanks again. Have a good day.”

Let’s see now. Good temp’s down a little, that’s a good sign. Throat’s still about the same but then it hasn’t even been 24 hours yet. Time for another pill. Oops! Can’t take it on an empty stomach. Let’s see what Urs brought in the bag. I hope. I hope. Yes! A chocolate croisssant! He couldn’t be more perfect if he tried. Well, except when he’s sick of course! This will work out, I just can feel it in my bones.

After her croissant, pill and coffee, Susanna had every intention of taking a shower and getting dressed as soon as she read the paper. The next thing she knew, she and the crumpled paper woke up from a nap at noon.

Goodness! This infection must really have knocked me for a loop. At least I’m feeling a little hungry Maybe just some more chicken soup.

***********

Susanna stood in the hot shower and let the water beat down on her as she rinsed her hair. She grabbed a towel to wipe her eyes. They really itched and stung. She must have gotten shampoo in them. She wrapped herself in a large towel, turbaned her hair and looked in the mirror at her eyes, still stinging and itching.

I’d better switch to a different shampoo. Just look how it has irritated my eyes. They look all red and puffy and I can’t stop scratching them. Maybe some eyedrops will help.

As she reached for the eyedrops, she caught sight of the back of her arm in the mirror. There was a large red welt. What a strange place for a mosquito bite!

Mosquitoes… London… January… think Susanna. That’s not a mosquito bite.

Susanna looked at her arms and neck, now adorned with red welts… itchy red welts… and there was one on her cheek too.

“NOOOooooo! This cannot be happening. Not now. Please!” she wailed to the mirror, hating it for sending back even more blotches and now her lips were looking decidedly more pouty than humanly possible.

Hurrying to the phone, she dialed the doctor’s office and within a few minutes of describing her symptoms, the doctor had diagnosed her problem, an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. He would call in a different prescription for her to begin her regimen again.

Could she have someone else pick it up. Of course, he’d have the nurse inform the pharmacy. Would this delay her recovery, of course? By how long, only a day, of course. Suddenly ‘of course’ became the saddest two words she’d ever heard. How could she tell Urs? If her heart felt this hurt and broken how would his feel?

She managed to hold herself together long enough to call Rosemary at school. She asked her to stop by after school to pick up the prescription. Susanna would be waiting if she could just come by and leave it at the door. She’d call her later with all the gory details when she felt better. Then she called the pharmacy to let them know Rosemary was coming by.

************

BB Jr. was in shock. If there had been an RSPCA for his kind, Susanna would be behind bars right now, he was sure. However, he had to lie there and take it like the old softie that he was. Unfortunately his mistreatment increased in proportion to Susanna’s anger, swelling, frustration, itching, sadness, hives, and rash. He was pummeled, punched, pinched, squeezed, thrown, stomped and almost drowned. That he survived at all was a stirring testament to his inner character and the resilency of his spirit, better known as his stuffing.

Susanna and BB Jr. were both laying quietly on the sofa recovering from their ordeal when Urs called.

“Hi Susanna, how are you feeling?” Urs the Upbeat asked.

“Uh, Urs, you remember in that girl Violet Beauregarde in Willie Wonka? The one who chews gum and turns into a blueberry?” Susanna began.

“Yes, but…” Urs began to worry.

“Well, I’m her twin sister, only I’m red and bumpy, like a raspberry.” It was at this point the tears started.

“Susanna, what’s wrong? What do you mean? Are you worse?” Urs worried more.

“Yes,” Susanna managed to blubber before she again became a weepy mess.

“I knew it. I should have taken you to the hospital. It’s scarlet fever isn’t it?” Urs worried even more.

“What? No. Not that. It’s just…” Susanna tried to explain.

“Kidney disease? Please say that’s not what it is!” Urs worry turned into panic.

“Urs, you’re been going online again haven’t you? Susanna practically shouted.

“Well, only once, but do you think it might be some kind of blood disease?” Urs continued to panic.

“No! No! And No!. Urs listen to me, no scarlet fever, no kidney disease, no blood disease. I just have hives and a rash. It’s an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. I’ve already spoken to the doctor and he’s changed my medication. Rosemary is picking it up right now. I’ll be fine. Calm down.” Susanna finally got Urs under control, she hoped.

“So it’s not serious?” Urs was beginning to be rational again.

“No, it’s just…inconvenient,” Susanna winced, waiting for his next question.

“How inconvenient?” Damn, Urs was becoming too rational now.

“About 24 hours?” said a weak voice.

Silence on the other end of the phone, then finally, “So you won’t be at the concert,” Urs said, as he realized what Susanna had been trying to tell him.

“I’m so sorry Urs. I know how much this means to you, but no, I won’t be there. If there was anything I could do, I would. Please know that. There’s no place I’d rather be than with you. I love you.”

I love you. Is that what people say when they hurt you? When they can’t live up to their promises? When they’re not there for you? When they can’t be your Foxhole Friend?

Susanna thought the pain in her heart at hearing his disappointment very well might be fatal after all. For the first time in her life she wished she’d been a secretary or a fireman or ditch digger. Anything but a person who is around little children and their germs.

“I know you do. I love you too. That’s why I wanted to share this with you.” Susanna could hear Urs’ big sigh on the other end of the phone.

She closed her eyes and could picture him squaring his shoulders, putting on his stage face, giving 100% of himself to the music, receiving the admiration and respect he so deserved, yet knowing it wouldn’t be enough, she wouldn’t be there to share his special night.

It wasn’t even the fact that this was the first night of the tour. What was so devastating to her was that she’d promised. He was counting on her and she’d let him down. Even though she couldn’t help it, she’d let him down. She wouldn’t be there. She must make sure it never happened again. She could not forgive herself.

“Well, the most important thing is they’ve found what’s wrong and you’ll be better soon. It’s not your fault; it just happened. Do you think you’ll be better by Monday so I can at least see you before I leave for Germany on Tuesday? We fly straight to the States after that,” Urs sounded a little more animated now.

“I should be better by then and it’s still a holiday for me so I’ll be home waiting for you whenever you can come over. And…and I’m so glad you still want to see me before you leave,” Susanna’s voice cracked.

“Still want to see you? You silly woman! I love you. We’re together now. Just because I’ve…we’ve had a little disappointment doesn’t mean that we don’t love each other or want to be with each other. Things like this are gonna to happen sooner or later, especially in my profession. Ours is just coming sooner rather than later, that’s all. The time we do have together will be all the more precious to us. Maybe that’s a good thing to learn right at the beginning, ja?”

“Ja” Urs could hear the smile in Susanna ‘s voice.

“Now we have a date tonight. 7:30 in the hall. Don’t be late,” Urs threatened.

“Or what?” Susanna’s sense of humor had suffered no allergic reaction it seemed.

“Or I won’t share with others.”

Chapter 99
Two Days Away

Rosemary buzzed about ten minutes after Urs hung up and about five minutes before Susanna had her ‘aha’ idea.

“There’s no way we’re going to stand out here in the hall. Let us in for Pete’s sake We’re not going to get close enough to catch your germs. I’ve got Joanne here and you know she won’t take for no an answer!”

Susanna smiled at the thought of them storming the door. How lucky she was to have such true friends.

She opened the door and immediately moved to the far side of the room as they came in: two mother bears protective of their cub, ready to sort out those mean old germs that dared hurt their young one.

“Oh you poor thing, you do look miserable.” Rosemary the Sympathetic but Honest carried on as she closed the door, took off her coat and headed for the kitchen. Either tea or hot chocolate Susanna predicted, Rosemary’s quintessential remedy for all of life’s little trials.

“Here,” Joanne the Determined but Kind-hearted thrust Susanna’s prescription bag into her hand. “You need to start those immediately.” She also headed to the kitchen for water, Susanna presumed. Nope, illness didn’t stand a chance against these two formidable opponents.

Having witnessed the pill-taking, the two friends settled on the sofa to hear the blow by blow account of the train wreck. By the time it was finished, the three friends had managed to consume one large pot of tea, two mugs of hot chocolate and half a tin of cookies. Urs wasn’t the only cookie monster it seemed.

Troubles shared are indeed troubles halved, or in this case ‘thirded’. By the time she’d finished her tale of woe, it had been relegated to it’s rightful place in the grand scheme of things. Although still very painful and tender, no longer was it up there with achieving world peace or solving the hunger problems in the Third World.

Now for her little brain storm.

“Joanne, are you doing anything special Sunday? I mean anything that you couldn’t change if you could go to the Il Divo concert in Dublin AND sit up near the front AND have a backstage pass to meet all of them. I mean I was just wondering, that’s all,” Susanna asked in wide-eyed innocence and waited for the screams.

She was not disappointed. The screams were accompanied by a happy dance all around her living room as both her friends celebrated Joanne’s good fortune.

“Now I’ll arrange everything with Urs. This is my treat but there’s one more teensy little favor I need you to do for me tomorrow.”

**********

Susanna was getting worried. Urs said 7:30 and it was almost 7:25.

‘Buzz’ 7:28. “Hi Bag Boy, you’re slipping. You were almost not early,” Susanna needled.

“I had trouble making up my mind. I’ll knock on the door so open it right away, I’ll stand back,” was his excuse.

Susanna opened the door to be greeted by two plastic bags. She smiled at the United Nations selection of ice cream, French vanilla and Swiss chocolate. Then gave an ‘aw’ when she found several paperbacks and two puzzle magazines.

“I’ll be right back,” Susanna dashed in to put the ice cream in the freezer.

“What perfect gifts, Bag Boy. Thank you.”

“I thought the ice cream would make your throat feel better or maybe not feel at all. I had a hard time trying to decide what books you’d like. I knew mysteries and there’s some puzzle books there too,” said Urs the Organized.

Susanna began taking out the books to see what he had picked for her. There were several mysteries and hidden on the bottom was a romance novel. “A stray romance novel seems to have wound up in the bag too. You wouldn’t know anything about that now would you?” she razzed. She could just picture him blushing as he put it on the checkout counter.

“I thought you might like a little romance to read since I’ll be gone,” he said, bringing out his Killer Grin.

“Why, Mr. Romance, that’s so thoughtful, but you know you could never be replaced by a mere book. Seriously though, with all the last minute things how ever did you find time?” Susanna

Urs just smiled smugly.

“Oh stupid me. Of course you’re Swiss. You always have time.” Susanna slapped her forehead, playing her role perfectly and received a thumbs up from her Swiss audience of one.

When they finally stopped laughing enough to speak, Susanna launched phase one of her plan.

“Urs, I was thinking. Do you mind if Joanne goes to the concert in my place? It would really mean a lot to her as an Uber and she’s a genius with a camera. She could video the concert for me, so in a way I’d be able to share it with you just a little. I could even see your Kissing Hand. What do you think?” Susanna baited the hook.

“That’s a great idea. I’ll get her a backstage pass so she can meet the others. I can leave it at the box office. Do you think she’d like that?” Urs had taken the bait.

“Oh Yes, I just know she’ll be thrilled to death,” Susanna set the hook and prepared to reel him in.

“Then it’s all settled. I’m glad you’ll have someone to tell you all about it,” Urs said, glad that he and Susanna could at least share the concert via a third party.

You’re as good as in the frying pan Urs. I love it when a plan comes together.

Susanna’s heart filled with excitement and love as he shared all the last minute plans, problems, and arrangements for Sunday. His entire body telegraphed his excitement, it refused to stay still. His eyes sparkled and crinkled, his mouth grinned widely, and his hands made huge gestures. Every shrug, thickly accented word, and runaway sentence held the message; he was so ready for this great new adventure.

Finally it was time.

Together they sealed their love with the Kissing Hand.

“I’m only two days away, Houdini.”

“I know. I’ll be waiting. I love you, Bag Boy.”

“I love you too, Houdini. I’ll call when I can.”

“I’ll be here waiting.”

Urs smiled, “I didn’t have a chance did I? With Joanne?”

“Not really,” Susanna smiled apologetically and shook her head.

“Urs, do you mind if I go inside now? I don’t want to see you leave,” Susanna said, clearing her throat and blinking.

“I think that would be a wery good idea, my little teacher,” Urs said softly with a tight smile.

Urs didn’t move until Susanna’s door closed and he heard the lock click. Then he was off down the stairs two at a time, his feet beating a tattoo ‘two days away, two days away’ and his heart answering ‘not soon enough, not soon enough.’

He knew she’d be watching but it would cost them both too much, so with a no-look wave he disappeared into the night to begin Il Divo’s first World Tour.

Chapter 100
A Bear is Born

“Now Joanne, you’re sure this will work?” Susanna worried.

Joanne rolled her eyes and ‘tutted’. “I am the computer technology instructor for the school, Susanna. Give me a break! Just turn the recorder on and speak. We have to get this done. After all I have a concert to get ready for.”

Susanna recorded her message for Urs and put it on the coffee table for Joanne to pick up. She was feeling better today but couldn’t take any chances on her messenger getting sick too.

“Now here’s exactly the kind I want. I’ve written down the little extras too. I’ve never actually done one before. You know where the store is right?” Susanna was beginning to overthink.

“Yes! Now go take a chill pill or regular pill or whatever. I’ll be back soon,” Joanne ordered.

*****************

Yes oh yes! This will be deliciously perfect if Joanne pulls it off. Urs will just love it… or maybe not. Will he think it’s too silly? Too corny? Well he knows I am a teacher of young children so he’s had fair warning.

Susanna and BB Jr. sat on the sofa enjoying the romance novel. He was ever so thankful she was in a better mood today. The only violence to his person he’d experienced was a few overenthusiastic happy munges.

*************

“Oh Joanne, he’s so…..so…..just so Urs. I absolutely love him and so will he. I just know it.” Susanna hugged the object of her affection, then held him up for inspection then hugged him again.

“I can’t thank you enough for doing this. You are a peach.” She beamed at Joanne from across the room. ”Now tell me all about how you did it. I want to be able to tell Urs all the special things about him.”

“It was really fun, but remind me never to go to the ‘Build-a-Bear Store again on a Saturday morning please. It was worse than the time we had that sub that let the kids run amok while she sat at the desk reading her paperback. Remember that?” Joanne shuddered.

“Remember! Remember! She was subbing for Rosemary, next door to me. Let me tell you when I left her room I’d put the fear of God into those kids and the sub. I didn’t hear a peep the rest of the day.”

“Well first I had to pick out which kind of empty bear skin. Sorry, but they didn’t have any with real curly or long fur like you wanted but this light brown one is slightly wavy. That was Station #1.

Next I had to pick out the eye color. They only had a few choices so I did the best I could there.”

“You did great job matching, Joanne, the greenish brown is just right. Besides it’s the overall effect he’ll notice anyway,” Susanna said as she turned the bear in different angles in the light.

“So I hand the bear over to get his eyes put in and be stuffed. The girl slips the bearskin over this metal tube that was attached to a large clear plastic container of white stuffing and flips the switch. As the machine hums along she turns the bear and all this stuffing just gets pumped into his head, arms and legs. You should have seen it! Kinda like liposuction in reverse.” Joanne and Susanna broke out laughing, trying to picture it.

“Then she turns the machine off and give him to me for a test squeeze. I made him medium fluffy. Does that feel about right?”

Susanna nodded her approval, besides even if it wasn’t, at this point what could she do, unstuff him?

“Then she hands me a little red heart and holds him open so I can slip it in. She was a little surprised when I changed that but she did what I asked. Then comes your part, deciding what he’ll say. I went back into this tiny cubicle and she gave me the mic. All I needed to do was turn on the recorder and there you were recording your message to Urs. I’ts a good thing it was short because there was a thirty second limit. ”

“You’ll like the next part because I know how you hate to sew. Remember the time your hem came loose and we fixed it with masking tape?” Joanne needled.

“I hate how you remember everything,” Susanna shot back with a chuckle. “Get back to your story.”

“Well, there’s this strong thread that’s already been sewn all around the opening in the back of the bear. The girl just pulls the loop tight, knots it, and hides the end inside the opening. Good huh?”

“The next part was the most fun. It’s called the fluffing station.

Imagine a trampoline for stuffed animals with air jets all around. I just put the bear in the middle, pressed the button and teddy took off. You should have seen him! He was doing flips and turning around all over the place while all these bits of extra stuffing and fuzz flew off him. It shuts off automatically and then it’s off to the computers.” Joanne’s grin became huge at the mere mention of the C word.

“There’s the cutest bank of computers with very low, bright colored stools where you sit and type out the bear’s birth certificate. So your bear was born on January 18. See it’s still here in the box.” Joanne reached into the special carrying box from the store and handed the paper to Susanna.

“This is so great. I think I’ll frame it for him. You aren’t going to carry him in that great big box are you?” Susanna was thinking of Joanne meeting the guys backstage with box. That would spoil the surprise for sure.


“No, I thought I’d put him in a smaller plastic bag so I could give it to Urs when they sit on the stage. I’m sitting on his side aren’t I?” Joanne was picturing how her plan would work.

“Yes, you’ll be on his side and I think it will be in the front row so you’ll be able to get some good vids I hope. Be sure to get the very end when he’ll do the Kissing Hand. Remember I showed you what to look for, right?”

Susanna, it will be fine. Joanne is very capable. You’re treating her like the village idiot.

The bear was packed up again and Susanna promised to call Joanne about her concert ticket as soon as she heard from Urs. She’d already booked her flight for Sunday morning and a hotel near the airport for that night. It was really happening for a least one lucky Uber, just not THE one unlucky Uber.

***************

Susanna had to keep reminding herself not to sound too excited when Urs called, but it wasn’t going to be easy. He’d surprised her so many times. This time her surprise needed to be special on so many levels.

It was natural to be nervous about making it work, but deep in her heart was the warm, safe, knowledge that he would love whatever it was simply because it was from her, just as she loved his tokens. The true gift was the love that prompted the token and Bag Boy and Houdini understood this magical truth.

*************

“Hi Houdini. How are you feeling?” Susanna could hear snatches of music from the orchestra in the background, that slowly receded.

“I’m feeling better, Bag Boy, especially when I hear you voice. What time is it there?” Susanna looked at her watch as she wondered if Dublin time was the same as London.

“3:30, the same as you,” Urs the Timekeeper stated the obvious, at least to him. Then he grinned as he suddenly had an inspired idea.

“How is it going” What are you doing right now?” Susanna asked as she settled BB Jr. next to her to listen in on the conversation.

“We just had a rehearsal to iron out the kinks, the lighting needs a little work but otherwise it went well. You should see the set. It’s really something else. The four arches I told you about are really cool…very dramatic. I think the audience will be impressed. I hope Joanne gets some good video for you to see. I’ll try to look her way as often as I can without being obvious, especially at the end.” His accent and excitement were very evident in his voice.

“I need to tell Joanne how to get her ticket and where she’ll be sitting,” Susanna said as she grabbed a pad of paper and a pen off the coffee table.

“I’ll leave her ticket and backstage pass for her at the box office. She’s in Row 1 Seat 11. It’s on my side,” Urs read from a paper he pulled out of his jeans pocket.

Susanna wrote down the information and read it back to Urs.

“When will she be able to go backstage? Before or after the concert?” she added, knowing that would be the first thing Joanne would ask about.

“Before would be better. We’re scheduled to go on at 8:00 so if she can be there at least by 7:00 I’ll have someone come get her and bring her back. I’ve already told the others she’s coming. They’re all sorry you can’t make it. And before you ask, yes, I’ve shared,” he bragged, purposely not mentioning how many he’d eaten before the sharing began.

“I’m calling her as soon as we’re finished. She’s probably waiting by the phone but first I want to hear all about the venue. Do you have you own dressing room? Does it have your name on it? Is there a star on the door?”

Susanna could hear Urs laughing at all her questions.

“Yes we each have our own dressing room and there’s a little paper sign that says Il Divo and then Urs under it on the wall by the door. No star anywhere to be seen I’m afraid. I guess I’m not star material. Wanna trade me in for someone with a star?” he joked.

“No thanks, Swiss Lover, you’re star enough for me.” Then on a whim she added, “Our love is like a shooting star…white hot…burning across the cold dark sky of our lives lighting up our poor feeble existence and…”

“OK, OK, I get it, Houdini, you’re hot for my bod. Why don’t you just come right out and admit it.” If it was possible to chuckle smugly Urs was doing it.

“Finally he gets it! I thought maybe I’d need to take out an ad in the paper. ‘Houdini wants Bag Boy.’ Seriously, I can hardly wait until I’m not contagious. BB Jr. is not a very good substitute is he? I need to replace him with the real one; I need you Urs.”

Susanna’s banter suddenly turned from light-hearted to longing as she realized the next time she saw Urs would be the last until the Chicago concert.

There was silence as Urs tried to think of something to lighten the mood.

“Tell BB Jr. his days are numbered. In the meantime, your….what was it….oh yeah….. your white hot, burning Swiss Lover is going to take a cold, dark shower and then feed his feeble existence. I’ll call you tomorrow before the concert,” he promised, knowing how calming it would be to hear her voice, to know his Foxhole Friend was there.

“Would you call when you get up too? I want to wake up to your voice,” Susanna asked softly.

“Ja, my little teacher, sleep well my love.”

“Goodnight Urs. You have my heart because I love you.”

Thank you so much Joanne (SeptemberLady) for letting Susanna borrow your teddy. She couldn’t have done it without you!

Chapter 101
The Tour Begins

“Hey Joanne, Urs just called and guess what? Row 1 Seat 11 on the Swiss side. Woo Hoo! Girl!” Susanna immediately held the phone away from her ear until Joanne’s screams subsided.

“Your ticket and backstage pass will be waiting at the box office. Try to get to your seat by 7:00. Urs will send someone to get you so you can meet at the guys. Now let’s go over our plan just one more time.”

*************

It was amazing what 24 hours could do. The Susanna that said hello in the mirror Sunday morning was a changed woman. Gone were the goldfish lips and raspberry bumps. Her temperature was back to normal and the ping pong ball in her throat was now a mere memory. It was still a little sore but she smiled in the mirror ecstatically She was getting better by the minute and would be ready, willing, and able to see Urs tomorrow.

*************

Joanne was the first to call, about 2:00. She’d just checked in to the hotel and was going to meet some other Divas at the venue to hopefully do some Divo spotting when they arrived for the soundcheck. Then she’d go back to the hotel, change, get the gifts and meet some Ubers for a quick bite before the concert.

“Now remember, don’t let anyone know the teddy is from me. Make up something if they ask you about going backstage. Be sure you tell Urs there’s a note in the bear’s pocket ” Susanna said as she tried to think of anything else she’d forgotten. “And don’t forget the other gifts.”

“Will you please stop worrying? Everything will be fine. I’ll be like the US Mail, neither rain, nor hail, nor sleet, nor….you know the rest.” Joanne implored as she looked at her watch, anxious to get to the soundcheck.

“Just one more thing, Joanne, I’ll be back at school on Tuesday so you can tell me all about it then. I’ll be busy tomorrow.” Susanna tried to sound casual as she waited for the smart remark.

“TMI! I’ll try to pretend I didn’t hear that. See you Tuesddaaayyyy!” she sniggered.

*************

Urs finally called about 7:30.
“Hi Houdini, how are you?” Susannna could hear this excitement in the thickened accent.

“Hi Bag Boy, I’m happy to report I am no longer a fruit nor a fish. All the lumps and bumps are gone. No fever, and just a little sore throat. Isn’t that wonderful?” her words tumbled out like nickels from a slot machine.

“More importantly how are you? Did you see Joanne? How soon before you go on?” Susanna hit the jackpot again.

“Yes, Joanne got to meet everyone and we had a nice chat. She was wery happy. Carlos, Seb, and David say thank you for the cookies, but where are mine?”

“Do you mean you’ve shared all of them already? Never mind, I’ll make some more tonight. Are you nervous?”

“It’s strange but I’m not, just excited and anxious to be out there. I hope we get a good reaction from the crowd. They say it’s sold out.”

“I’m right there will you Urs. Now hold out your left hand. Here comes my kiss.” Susanna made a kissing sound into the phone.

“Fold your fingers tight. Don’t let it go. There. It’s ready for you to take out and feel my love whenever you need it. I’ll always be right there with you, loving you. Tonight is the start of a wonderful new part of your life. Remember I’m right there with you, always. I love you Urs. Now go and share your beautiful gift. Your audience is waiting.”

“I love you, Susanna, thank you.” Urs choked.

****************

Susanna the cookie-baking Princess attended the concert in her kitchen with Il Divo turned up so loudly her mixing bowls almost rattled as she make cookies for her cookie-eating Prince. Meanwhile the cookie eating Prince sang his heart out for the Dublin audience amid cheers, waves, screams, bravos and wild clapping.

Joanne, bless her heart videoed like a veteran and was poised and ready when Urs moved right down in front of her. Pulling the bear out from his hiding bag, she held him out, “This is from Susanna. There’s a note in the pocket.”

Urs’ eyes were mere crinkly slits and his grin just about said hello to his ears, as he said, “Thank you wery much, Joanne.”
He held the bear out so he could admire all the details: the boots, the jeans, the biker jacket and of course the sunglasses.

As stools were brought out for their next song, “Mama”, Seb noticed the bear and jokingly made ‘vroom vroom’ motions with his hands. During the song, Urs held the bear on his lap and even gave him a chance to ‘sing’ into the mic. The audience laughed its approval as Joanne snapped away with her camera.





As they left the stage to change into their white jackets, he put him safely in his dressing room, promising himself to read the note as soon as the concert was over. There just wasn’t enough time right now.

As the last song, Heroe, ended David, Carlos and Seb threw their red rose into the audience. Urs however, caught Joanne’s eye and subtly motioned her to the edge of the stage where he presented his rose to her with a heartfelt ‘thank you’. She was in Uber heaven.

When Il Divo took their bow amid a shower of red paper rose petals, Susanna was there to share the excitement and joy of the evening with Urs as her love filled his heart from the Kissing Hand.

***************

He couldn’t get back to his dressing room fast enough. He picked up the bear and marveled at the perfect details. The authentic cowboy boots made him smile. The rough denim of the jeans on the fat little legs made him chuckle. He gave a knowing nod at ‘I love Urs’ on the tee shirt and the zippers on the leather biker’s jacket. Finally he took the sunglasses and moved them to the top of the bear’s head.

He found the note in the back pocket of the jeans.

Hi Urs,
My name is Fuzzy Wuzzy. Susanna sent me to wish you good luck. She’s very sorry she couldn’t be here herself. She wanted you to know she loves you wery much. Oh, and she said something about milk and cookies.
Your friend,
Fuzzy Wuzzy
PS. Please squeeze my left paw. Be gentle.

Urs looked at Fuzzy Wuzzy’s left paw and noticed for the first time that there was a red heart sewn on the palm. He pressed it, gently.

“Hi Bag Boy, It’s Houdini. I’m here with you tonight. I love you.”

It was Susanna’s voice.

He almost dropped him as he began to tremble with emotion. Love, joy, happiness, and anticipation filled his heart.

She has thought of everything. I can feel her love down in my soul. She has given me the perfect gift in her absence…even down to the Kissing Hand.

Chapter 102
The last supper

“Hi Urs. See I told you they love you. How does it feel to get a standing ovation?” Susanna’s excited greeting beamed it’s way into Urs’ ear.

“It was…amazing! I just can’t describe it. All I could think of was this is where I belong. This is what I was meant to do. They genuinely liked us.” Urs the Over the Moon said excitedly. “And your gift was perfect. I could feel you right there with me….well almost. Say how did you know we got a standing ovation?”

“Joanne called me on her cell so I could listen. I was so very proud of you. You should have seen me dancing around the apartment. I’m glad you like Fuzzy Wuzzy. I couldn’t have done it without Joanne. She had to dash down to the store and build him yesterday.”

“Build him?”

“I’ll tell you all about it when you get back. How soon will that be? It’s been forever since I’ve had a proper hug.” she hurried on, anxious to get to the important things.

“Is that all? I think you mentioned something else in your note.” Urs chucked.

“Let me see now. Just a minute… I’m trying to remember. Oh yes, milk and cookies.” she teased wickedly.

“I can see I’m going to need to refresh your memory.”

“Pardon me, I can’t quite remember what you said.” Susanna giggled.

“Houdini, you are something else! No more teasing or I’ll have to stay in this dressing room all night. Now back to your question. We’re due back about noon. I’ve decided to get my packing done and then come over. That way we’ll have more time together. I’ll call you when I get to my apartment. How does that sound?”

“Absolutely perfect. I love you Bag Boy, hurry home.”

“As fast as I can, Houdini, I love you.”

****************

Susanna was beginning to worry. She’d actually woken up early without the alarm clock. Had Urs the Early Riser brainwashed her? What would be next?

As Susanna finished her morning routine and showered, she checked her symptoms. There was nothing to check! Woo Hoo! She was symptom free, she’d been on her new antibiotics over 24 hours, She was not contagious. Life was good!

She was dressed and out the door by 9:00 for some much needed groceries and some even more needed breaths of fresh air. It seemed like she’d been cooped up in her apartment forever. Had it only been three days?

Urs called just as Susanna was putting a meatloaf in the oven. He was packing and would be over about 3:00. Susanna was ready at 2:00.

**************

Susanna opened the door and hauled Urs through it as if he were late for a dinner party held in his honor. If she had thought about it, she would have probably said he was the main course and this was their last supper. All rational thought was impossible however as soon as she saw him, felt his arms around her, and kissed him.

Somehow the door had been shut and if Urs had been carrying anything it had been discarded because now his arms were lifting her up as she wound her legs around him.

With her arms around his neck, she buried her fingers in his curly, dense hair as she opened her lips to his seductive tongue and let him do whatever he wanted with her mouth.

Urs strode into the bedroom and let her slide gently down his body. Their eyes met in the secret, smiling gaze of lovers as they undressed each other with a studied deliberation. Consciously, they slowed their pace, wanting to savor each delicious moment, needing to imprint it on their memory.

Susanna slid between the crisp sheets and held them open for Urs. Leaning over, Susanna combed her fingers through Urs curls to see that face she loved. “I missed you so much. I realize now that I had never known what it meant to be loved until you loved me.” she whispered as she smoothed his hair behind his ears.

Urs traced her cheek with the back of his hand. “All I want is to love you—right here, right now.”

Holding her face between his hands, he very slowly let his breath feather over her closed eyes and her lashes, down her face to her jaw, before making his unwavering way to her mouth. His lips kissed hers lightly, speaking a silent language that promised a depth of passion she’d never known before. He outlined the tip of his finger lightly over her lower lip, leaving it trembling for more.

He was relearning her body with his mouth and hands. He caressed her tenderly, with infinite patience, taking his time, building their desire.

”Please, Urs.”

“I love you, my Susanna.

Susanna’s hands slid slowly up his chest to the bunching muscles of his shoulders. She captured his hips with her legs to press herself even tighter to him. “Susanna, are you sure that you’re alright now? You were wery sick just a few days ago,” Urs asked.

“Don’t I feel okay to you, Urs?” smiled Susanna giving him permission.

When he felt the heated pressure of her lips he moaned aloud in delight. As her mouth took his in a hard, demanding kiss all rational thought left him. She kissed him with such intensity, offering what he craved; he couldn’t stop himself now, as their tongues tangled in a seductive dance. Urs looked down at her beneath him and caught his breath in shock at the intensity of his desire. She was so beautiful with her lips trembling and swollen from their kiss as she gazed with passion-bright eyes only for him.

Her eyes pleaded and rejoiced in triumph as she moved her hips and grew wilder in his arms. She became his center of gravity, his reality, as all perception, all focus, all sensation converged on this woman who was urging him, accompanying him over the edge, tumbling into a starlit oblivion. As he floated high and free he knew there could be no world for him apart from this woman.

“Houdini! Are you trying to kill me?!” Urs smiled as he fought for his breath.

Still breathing in short, heated gasps, his attempt to roll over was greeted with an “Awwww, don’t leave.”

“But I’ll smoosh you. You need to breathe you know.” he chuckled.

“Breathing is a very overrated activity in my opinion, especially when you take my breath away like that.” she grinned.

“Compromise.” Urs rolled her on top of him. “Now tell me how Fuzzy Wuzzy got his name.”

Susanna sat up and straddled him, absently sifted her fingers through his chest hair as she spoke. “Remember when you told me Urs meant bear? Well I got this vision of a bear with curly fur galumphing through the forest. Then he changed into you and I started imagining your chest hair and then this Fuzzy Wuzzy rhyme popped into my head. I had to turn away because it was so funny.”

“And…”

“Oh, OK. Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy was he?” and she burst into giggles.

Urs grabbed her hand to effectively stop it meandering around in his Fuzzy Wuzzy and raised his head and shoulders. “So you’ve named my chest hair Fuzzy Wuzzy?” he gasped in disbelief.

At Susanna’s nod, his head fell back onto the bed with an eye rolling/ head shaking grin. Suddenly he propped himself up on his elbows with a look of horror. “I hope you haven’t….Oh no, Houdini tell me you didn’t name my…”

Her mischievous grin told him the awful truth. Leaning over she whispered in his ear. “Magic wand!” With that she rolled over and bounced off the bed.

“Well you did say I’m magical and it does go with my magician hat.” she explained logically with a grin as she sashayed into the shower. “Are you coming in here or what Bag Boy?”

When they emerged sometime later from the shower, all squeaky clean, rosy cheeked, and smiling, Susanna gave herself a mental pat on the back for her uncanny ability to choose names. Urs had indeed proved the appropriateness of his newest one.

Warm, sleepy, and contented, they spooned together under the thick covers. As Urs snuggled her into him, Susanna sighed in absolute bliss. Her real live Bag Boy was home where he belonged.

Chapter 103
Time to Say Goodbye

Susanna woke up and looked at the clock, 10:15, past time for her antibiotic. She eased Urs’ arm carefully off her shoulder and slid out of bed, gently lowering his hand onto the pillow. He gave a little mumble but then settled back to sleep. An errant curl had fallen down over his eye and she could see the faint shading on his jaw. Even as her heart tried to memorize what she saw, her brain ticked away the minutes until it would be erased.

She put on her white robe and went into the bathroom. As she washed her hands, her stomach growled hello.

She smiled as she thought of them skipping dinner. Poor Urs must be hungry by now but he was sleeping so peacefully. It would be a long day and he needed his rest. She didn’t even know exactly when he needed to leave. They hadn’t quite gotten around to that part yet. Better to fix some food first and then wake him.

Quietly closing the bedroom door almost all the way, she walked softly to the kitchen and began getting out the makings of a salad and cold meatloaf sandwiches. Just as she finished slicing the meatloaf she heard water running in the bathroom. Urs must be up.

“I knew we’d forgotten something earlier…. Good thinking there, Houdini.” he said in a sexy voice still thickened by sleep.

Susanna was standing at the sink washing the lettuce. As she turned around she suddenly understood what ‘cat got your tongue’ meant.

There he was leaning casually against the door jamb wearing only his Killer Grin and his new button fly jeans. Well almost wearing, considering they were slung low on his hips and the top two buttons were undone, to say nothing of Susanna. Then of course there was his broad shoulders and deep muscled chest, complete with ‘fuzzy wuzzy’ tapering in an arrow down past his narrow waist.

When Susanna unswallowed her tongue she managed, “I didn’t want to wake you. I have to take my antibiotic with food so…”

By this time she’d closed the gap between them. Winding her arms around him she sighed at the warm feel of his skin on her cheek as she hugged him. They shared a tiptoe kiss and then leaning back she grinned.

“OK Mr. Sex-on-a Stick. From now on I’m putting a bell around your neck to give me fair warning. You are just too gorgeous. Promise you’ll leave your shirt on all the time you’re gone?”

Urs looked down at his chest and grinned. “Just for you, Houdini.”

“Oh and keep those buttons buttoned.” she added with a pat on his behind.

****************

As they sat knee-to-knee at the kitchen table with their milk and cookies, Urs suggested they toast.

“To time… may it go quickly, to us… may we never end.”

Their kiss began as a simple lean over the table kind but as Susanna progressed to Urs lap it swiftly became reclassified into the breathless category. Just as suddenly she found herself picked up and deposited back onto her chair.

“See what you do to me. I almost forgot.” Urs jumped up and reached for the magician’s hat on a shelf beside the window.

“What are you doing, Urs?” Susanna asked. “There’s noth…”

“It’s magic, just look inside.” Urs the Cheshire Cat interrupted.

Reaching into the hat, Susanna pulled out a square box, wrapped in white paper and tied with a pink bow.

“It’s something to keep us close while I’m gone.” Urs hinted, hardly able to contain his excitement as his eyes crinkled and his bare toes wiggled.

As she unwrapped it Susanna thought… web cam….no too small,,,maybe a camera or a new phone…no wrong shape. Finally she opened the box.



“Oh My! It’s so beautiful. And look at the dials, two time zones! Now I can tell where you are. Thank you, thank you, Urs!” Susanna squealed as she set the box on the table and gave Urs a flying hug back into his lap.

“Here let’s put it on.” Urs reached around her and took the watch from the box, strapping it on her left wrist.

“How does that feel?” he asked as Susanna twisted and turned her wrist every which way noticing how the mother of pearl dial gleamed. “It never needs batteries and it’s Swiss, Tag Heuer.” Urs announced proudly.

“I love it and I love you. It’s such a perfect gift for us. Will you set it for me please?” Susanna took it off and gave it to Urs.

“There, you’re all set. I’ll be in Germany tomorrow and that’s just one hour ahead. You already have my schedule so you can look us up on your world clock to know what zone to set my time.” Urs showed her how to adjust the dials.

“But what about you. How will you know my time?”

“I already have one I bought in Lucerne at Christmas. I got this one last week when I was in Zurich. Now we’ll each know what time zone the other is in. That will help when we IM or call.”

“You think of everything don’t you Urs the Organized?” Susanna teased.

“I try, Houdini. Oh by the way, your watch is waterproof.” Urs said with a Blink Wink.

Susanna blushed as she buried her head in the crook of Urs shoulder.

“How long can you stay?” she whispered to his collarbone.

“The car will be by at 5:00 to pick me up. I left my luggage with Seb. He’ll see it gets picked up. I brought a change of clothes with me.”

“Could we snuggle in bed and talk for awhile please? I want to be in your arms. I want you hold me tight and never let me go.” she said as she stood up and took his hand.

“I would like that wery much.” Urs answered. As they walked through the living room he bent down and picked up the bag with his clean clothes that he couldn’t quite remember dropping when he came in.

Tightly snuggled in bed, they fell asleep talking about concerts past and future, how Fuzzy Wuzzy was ‘born’, places they’d been together, whatever came into their head. But if their conversation was rather like an old-fashioned country store selling everything under the sun, each item was labeled ‘Made With Love’.

Urs watched the steady rise and fall of Susanna’s chest as she slept. She looked so trusting, so content, so beautiful. He closed his eyes and pictured her, memorizing her face, then opened his eyes again, checking his image, absorbing it, tucking it safely away to pull out and recall in the days ahead.

He’d rather she was awake. Time was precious and already the dial on his arm read 4:00. But his sweet little Susanna had been sick and she needed to rest. He wasn’t the only one who had to go back to the real world today.

For him though, sleep was out of the question. He could still taste her kisses on his tongue, hear her words of love, feel her soft skin and if he closed his eyes, he saw hers looking back, full of wonder and love.

Careful not to disturb her, he slid off the bed and quickly headed to the bathroom. Silently he closed the door, stepped into the shower and set the water temperature to just above cold.

Susanna awoke in the darkened room and adjusted her snuggle as she reached for Urs comforting warmth, but she was alone. Then she saw the tiny crack of light from under the bathroom room door and heard the rushing sound of the shower.

Urs stood facing away from her, standing under the shower head. The water flattened his dark curls to his head and continued in tiny rivers over the muscles of his back, making a path beyond the curves of his butt and down his strong legs.

Susanna stepped into the shower and gave notice as she wrapped her arms around him and planted a kiss just above his right shoulder blade. Moving the handle until the water was warm, in one quick motion, Urs turned around to greet her with a kiss, smoothing her wet hair back and holding her face in his hands.

“You didn’t wake me?” she fussed.

“You still need rest and you were sleeping so soundly.” His voice trailed off.

“Well I’m here now and I want to try out my new waterproof watch.” she grinned playfully as she threw her arms around his neck and became an instant limpet. His arms tightened around her waist, drawing her body more snugly against his.

They didn’t talk after that, because words were unnecessary. Their hands and lips spoke a unique, more powerful tongue. There was no hesitation, just a delight that bordered on the ethereal. An awareness that seemed to owe its origin to another span, another existence together long before this one.

Urs lowered her gently to the tiled floor and when they’d showered they dried each other off with oversized bath sheets. Still wrapped in their towels, they went to the kitchen, whispering, kissing, sharing caresses and touches until the coffee was ready. Then returning to bed they sat cradling their coffee and each other and said all that had to be said.

After all the ‘I love you’s,’ promises to be safe, to be strong, and the “I’ll miss you’s’, Urs pulled Susanna to him gently and kissed her hair.

“Loving you is my peace.” he sighed. “It’s the quiet satisfaction I feel every time your eyes tell me that I’ve listened to you, made you happy, loved you well.” His accent was heavy; his voice thick with emotion as he smiled and nodded as if to certify the truth of his words.

Susanna could feel her eyes filling but she blinked back the tears and gathered herself and her thoughts, her response a mirror to Urs.

“Loving you is my certainty, a complete confidence that I’d do anything to give you that peace.”

Susanna scurried to the CD player in the living room and hurried back to the warmth of Urs, wrapping them both in the duvet as she pulled him out of bed. The night was filled with starshine as they stood near the window and gazed at the sky and listened.

http://rapidshare.com/files/215378596/Thank_You__Stars.mp3

THANK YOU STARS
Katie Melua

Some call it faith, some call it love
Some call it guidance from above
You are the reason we found ours
So thank you stars

Some people think it's far away
Some know it's with them everyday
You are the reason we found ours
So thank you stars

There are no winds that can blow it away on the air
When they try to blow it away is when you know it will always be there

To some it's the strength to be apart
To some it's a feeling in the heart
And when you're out there on your own, it's the way back home

There are no winds that can blow it away on the air
When they try to blow it away is when you know it will always be there

Some call it faith, some call it love
Some call it guidance from above
You are the reason we found ours
So thank you stars
Thank you stars
Thank you stars

As the song ended, they fed from each other in a long, drugging kiss, bittersweet yet full of promise and commitment. Then solemnly, reverently they each, Susanna first then Urs, kissed the other’s left palm and folded the fingers to seal the kiss.

“It’s time.” they confirmed.

With only fifteen minutes left, Urs shaved as Susanna barely had time to hand him his clean, though rather rumpled red boxer briefs with a grin, then a black Harley tee shirt, and socks. She had a last look round for any stray belongings, grabbed a cookie care package for him and peeked out the window just in time to see the car pull up in front of the apartment building.

He hopped around the living room trying to pull on his boots, gave up, and flopped on the ottoman to finish. Shrugging into his jacket he brushed his mouth over hers in a fleeting kiss, thought better of that idea and moved in for a proper one and breath-robbing bear hug. Then grabbing his shaving kit and her care package he opened the door.

“See you later, Houdini. I love you.”

Take care, Bag Boy. I love you too.”

And he was gone, bounding down the stairs and out of sight.

She watched his familiar walk as he strode to the open car door, gave his trademark no-look wave, the door closed and he disappeared into the cold, dark January morning.

Quickly she went to the freezer to get her two bright yellow smiley face ice patches. The box had guaranteed they would reduce the pain and swelling of any ‘owies’. As her tears started she held one in each hand, ready to apply them to her eyes as soon as she stopped crying. Now if only they made one large enough for the ‘owie’ to her heart.

Chapter 104
Concert Redux

“Hi guys,” Urs slid into the back seat and pulled the door shut. “Thanks for stopping by like this to get me,” Urs said to the driver up front.

“We were starting to get worried there Buddy. You almost were late.” David turned around from the front seat and grinned.

“Did you oversleep?” asked Carlos the King of Nod.

“Achully I’ve been up for awhile. I got Susanna a watch with dual time zones and I needed to adjust it.” Urs fought a losing battle with his dimple that refused to disappear.

Well, I did do that, it’s just not what I was doing right before I left.

“Ah well Urs my friend, that’s not all you need to adjust.” Seb laughed as he pointed to the two buttons left undone on his jeans.

As Urs quickly buttoned his jeans, Seb even more quickly swiped the cookies and began passing them around.
Down came the sunglasses. Conversation over.

**************

Truth be told, Susanna had to hit the ground running Tuesday morning. What with being out sick plus the long holiday weekend she felt about three weeks behind by 10:00, but it was so good to be out and about again. Little Jessica was back and shyly gave Susanna a little potted plant with an apology from Mrs. Flores for Jessica’s germ sharing. At her break, Susanna called her to say thank you and reassure that catching whatever the children had just went with the territory of being a teacher.

“So your plan was a success I hear.” Rosemary greeted her at lunch. “Joanne was just filling us in. She even brought her rose to school to show us. Lucky duck!”

Joanne actually blushed at that and it warmed Susanna’s heart that she could repay her for getting the bear to Urs. She’d have to be sure to tell Urs about his happy #2 Uberbabe. Seeing this personal glimpse of how much the Divos attention meant to individual fans would help them all realize this was the key to maintaining and increasing their fan base of happy concertgoers.

“So when do we get to see your video and pics Joanne” Marissa asked excitedly. “All I’ve seen so far was your concert report on the Dublin thread.”

“I thought I’d share them with Susanna and you before I posted. After all I wouldn’t have had any to share if it wasn’t for her.” Joanne smiled her thanks.

“What if we get together tonight at my place for the Il Divo concert from Dublin? After all I can’t get much further behind than I already am. “ Susanna suggested.

By the end of lunch it was a solid plan. Meet at 7:00, Rosemary would bring the wine, Leslie was in charge of munchies, Marissa would bring chocolate of course, and Joanne the entertainment. Sorry Beverly, even though you’re the principal you’ll just have to wait to view them online.

*************

Eventually the not quite empty cookie box was passed back to Urs. Two chocolate chips and a ginger crinkle had managed to unzip his lips.

“We really are glad Susanna is feeling better, Urs. I’m sure she and Gerry will get together while we’re gone. When will you see her again?” Carlos the Elder spoke for all of them.

“She’s coming to the Chicago concert on the 14th. I’ve also invited her girlfriend Darlene and her husband. You remember me telling you about them don’t you?” Urs volunteered.

“That’s great Urs. So we’ll both have our girls here for at least one concert. Since Sandy’s in New York right now she’ll be able to go to the one in Wallingford and if I'm lucky maybe the two New York ones. I'm also hoping my family get to New York, kind of a late Christmas present."

When they got to the airport, Urs quickly added his shaving kit and now empty cookie box to his suitcase. He pictured Susanna with the tee shirt he’d left. Now she had two. One for her and one for BB Jr. Smiling, he pushed his sunglasses up on his head, picked up his guitar case and computer bag and headed for the check-in counter.

***********

The walls reverberated with ahh’s, ohhh’s, cheers, woo hoo’s, and applause from the four Divas. Although Uber tendencies prevailed, there were definite Cutie, Diva, and Siren leanings also, especially when Seb teased Urs about the teddy. Then Carlos received his Smurf and another round of awww’s filled the air. Of course David, the all American boy received thundering ovations from his four American fans, home-town boy makes good and all that.

Susanna had a few misgivings about Urs reddish suit but Joanne explained it really did look a lot better in real life. Susanna could have run with that comment but wisely chose not to. She loved the velvet suit and her fingers fairly itched to feel it. When the white jackets appeared all four women were well and truly thudded, of course the roses caused them all to go over the edge as the tissues were passed around. Several songs needed to be watched again and the teddy bear part needed three instant replays.

The pictures were really magnificent. Joanne played down her expertise, saying anyone could have done it if they’d been sitting in the front row, but they all knew better. She’d managed to be an equal opportunity photographer, well almost, despite being right in front of Urs. Taking advantage of their movement on stage she’d captured each man’s “Divo-ness” to perfection, at least from what Susanna had seen both on and off stage. Carlos the suave, playful, lady killer, all mouth and no pants, Seb the classically handsome bon vivant, David the prank-loving boy-next-door, and Urs, exotic, enigmatic, and sexy.

Urs called just as they were leaving, so with a group ‘Hello Urs’ they let themselves out.

“Sounds like you couldn’t wait for me to leave to have a party there, Houdini” Urs teased.

“Joanne brought over her video and pictures from the concert so I invited Rosemary, Marissa, and Leslie over for a private concert viewing. We all loved it. Now about that red suit…”

They’d told each other everything they needed and wanted to say in the next ten minutes: the appearance on German TV had gone without a hitch, they’d sung Senza, they’d leave tomorrow for New York, Susanna was glad to be back to school, and they loved and missed each other.

More than their words though was the strength and conviction in their voices. They seemed instinctively to realize these first few days apart were crucial. They needed to start as they meant to go on. They were Foxhole Friends after all, there for each other without reservation, just temporarily separated as they each pursued their profession, their dream. They needed stay positive and show their constant loving support.

Urs took the lead. “I know we’ll get through these separations.
You’ve brought a new energy, a new focus to my life. Do you know how happy you make me and how much you mean to me? I love you with all my heart, Houdini.”

Susanna reminded, “I love you to pieces, Bag Boy. Your love is worth every minute of waiting. Just thinking about how you love me keeps me going. It’s like I’m smiling on the inside even when we’re apart.”

“Remember to change your time zone, Houdini. I’ll call when we get settled.”

“I already have, Bag Boy, just like you showed me. I’ll be waiting.”

“Night Houdini, sleep well, I love you.”

“I love you too, my Bag Boy, night.

Chapter 105
Urs Goes Shopping

“I’m tired and I want a cookie.” Urs grumbled as he flopped onto his bed and wiggled his aching toes. His discarded red and black boots lay where he’d taken then off by the side of the bed.

“Hello you to too, Bag Boy.” Susanna yawned into the phone. “So your cookies are gone already?”

“Schiesse! They were practically gone by the time we got to the airport. Seb stole them while I was…..nevermind. Anyway I just got to my room and boy does it feel good not to be sitting.”

“It’s 6:30 at night there, right?” Susanna said as she picked up her new watch from the nightstand and checked Urs’ time.

“That’s right and it’s… oh Houdini, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize how late it is. I woke you up didn’t I?” Urs apologized, as he opened his suitcase and fished around for a clean shirt.

“How was your flight? Have you eaten yet?” she asked.

Leave it to her to think of me first.

“Long, and I’m meeting Seb and Carlos in the lobby in 15 minutes for dinner. We’ll just go somewhere close, maybe in the hotel. Sandy met David at the airport so I don’t expect he’ll surface until tomorrow. We have a meeting at 1:00 and after that nothing. I’ll probably check out the gym after dinner. I managed to sleep a little on the plane and so I’m not really tired now.”

“Were there any fans at the airport?”
In other words did Sandy greet him like a fan or a girlfriend.

“We did get a few looks but we’re not really known over here at all. We’ve only done a few pubic appearances and interviews plus we weren’t exactly in what you call concert mode.

You should have seen Sandy. She’s almost as good a hugger as you are. She just about knocked David’s baseball cap off. You’d think it had been six months instead of one since they’ve seen each other.” he laughed, hoping she’d take the hugging comment as a challenge for Chicago.

So she did get to act like his girlfriend in public, but then all along he’s admitted he has a girlfriend. I wonder if that’s the reason. Oh well, I don’t think Urs can hold out forever. He’s bound to say something sooner or later. I sure hope it’s sooner.

“I’ll email you when I get my computer set up. Maybe we could even try that IM thing you talked about. Thanks for doing that little picture thingy for me.” said Urs the Planner.

“Right now I just live in hope of an email, Bag Boy. I know your schedule will only get busier. By the way that little picture thingy is called your display image.” Susanna needled.

“Someone’s at the door, just a minute.” Susanna could hear the knocking and then Carlos’ deep baritone.

“Helllooooo Susanna, and how are you tonight?” Susanna couldn’t help laughing. She should know by now Carlos was always ‘on’.

“I’m just fine, Carlos considering it’s almost 1:00 in the morning.”

“In Madrid we’d just be getting started, every night out with our friends.” Carlos said wistfully.

“Yes, Carlos I know a party every night, now could you please put Urs back on. Bye.”

“Hi again. Well I guess I’d better let you get back to sleep. What? Hush, Seb.” Susanna could hear laughing in the background.

“Yes I’ll tell her.” Urs sounded a little rattled.

“Seb says hi. Okay, I’m coming, I’ll see you downstairs.” Urs called as Susanna heard the door shut again.

“I thought Seb said something about a fly. Do you have one in your room?”

“What?! Oh no, not in here, maybe he was talking about in his room. I need to leave now. They’ll be waiting.”

“I love you, Bag Boy. Have a good day tomorrow.”

“Sweet dreams, Houdini, I love you too.”

************************

Susanna sat curled up with BB Jr., more for something to grab onto than to cuddle as she watched Urs most recent interviews she had downloaded. What a perfectly crappy way to spend a Saturday, watching interviews that denied your existence, drinking hot tea, and swaddled in THE PINK ROBE to boot. It figures.

Ahem! BB Jr. cleared his throat, the better to be listened to.
I don’t mean to interrupt your little pity party Susanna but it could have been worse you know.

And just how is that. Oh wait, you’re right it could have been a pink robe day on Monday. Silly me. I stand corrected.

Nooooo, I meant it could have been last Saturday when you were in your raspberry disguise, remember?

Well, I guess you’re right and Urs and I did have a nice time on Monday.

Just to set the record straight here, nice is not the word I would have chosen. SHORT is more like it. Super Hot Over the Rainbow Thudding. I guess you were too busy to remember that sound carries even through closed closet doors. I may have been out of sight but not out of hearing, in case you want to file that away for future reference.

Why you little eavesdropper! Just wait and see where I put you next time.

Now about these videos. Just listen! It’s like they’re robots or something. On both GMA and Regis and Kelly they sang Heroe and gave the same non-answer about girlfriends: no comment or else silence.

Don’t beat yourself up over this, Susanna. He did call Thursday and Friday and both times it was at a decent hour. And don’t forget that email that was waiting for you Friday morning at school. Give the guy a break. You know he loves you, he’s told you often enough, and I was in the room at the time so don’t look at me like that! And don’t forget what he put on your iPod. Now what kind of guy adds not only music but poetry? He’s almost too good to be true. Now cheer up and for pity sakes get dressed!

Susanna did as she was told.

**********

She’d been checking her email about 8:30 PM when she got the ping signaling Urs IM. Hurriedly she answered and for the next half hour they were in IM heaven. Urs was getting seriously addicted. Seeing Susanna’s Pink Robe screen image he offered a silent thank you for their good timing before he left. By the time they signed off, Susanna was ready to take another piece of BB Jr.’s advice: listen to Urs reciting poetry.



Scooting down under the soft white cloud of the duvet, she cuddled BB Jr. in the dark and listened to his sexy accent creating a melodic singsong of syllables:

The Passionate Shepherd, to His Love

Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasure prove
That hills and valleys, dales and fields,
Or woods and steepy mountain yields.

And we will sit upon the rocks
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.

And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle.

A gown made of the finest wool,
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of the purest gold;

A belt of straw and ivy buds
With coral clasps and amber studs;
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me and be my love.

The shepherd swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my love.

Christopher Marlowe

***************

Urs had finished his circuit routine, done a few laps, showered, and still it was too early to disturb Seb. He and Carlos had decided on a boy’s night out Saturday. After the second stop, a small jazz club, Urs had decided to stay awhile as they moved on to a ‘livelier’ spot. That had been around midnight.

Finally about noon he knocked, very gently, and was greeted by a still slightly disheveled, black-coffee-drinking Seb who motioned him inside.

“So you found a livelier spot then?” Urs almost hid his grin.

“Several, in fact. That Carlos has the constitution of an ox. He kept saying ‘Just one more. Just one more.’” Seb replied.

“One more drink or club?” Urs asked, thankful he hadn’t tested his constitution.

“Both.” Seb lamented as he swallowed two acetaminophen with some water. “I should have kept to diet Coke like he did.”

“Uh, well… I’m thinking of getting Susanna some jewelry for Valentine’s Day and I thought maybe you knew of some places to look.” Urs said as he moved Seb’s shirt from last night off the chair and sat down.

“What kind of jewelry?” Seb asked, as he turned his head gingerly to squint at Urs.

“Her girlfriend Darlene suggested maybe a bracelet. I want it to be something simple, classy. Can you help me out?” Urs asked hopefully as he smoothed out an imaginary wrinkle in his jeans.

“But of course. I know of several. I’ll write them down. Were you thinking of gold, platinum, diamonds, casual, dressy?” Urs was impressed. Seb really knew his stuff.

“Achully, I’m not sure yet. But I’ll know it when I see it.” he replied confidently.

*************

Monday afternoon Urs went shopping. Coincidentally, this big bear found a good bracelet in the first store, a better bracelet in the second store and the one that was just right in the third store, Cartier’s.

“Yes, sir, may I help you?” the tall slender, impeccably dressed man greeted Urs the Armani-clad Divo complete with concert hair customer.

“I’m looking for a special bracelet for a very special lady.” Urs declared., oozing charm from every pore.

“I think I have just what you’re looking for sir. Please allow me to show you. If you’ll just be seated over here.” he replied and though he tried, his charm was considerably less oozing than Urs.

“Now that you’ve decided sir, would you prefer that in gold or platinum?”

“I think the platinum, she’s very precious to me.”

Ten minutes and a rather large credit card transaction later, Susanna’s Valentine’s gift had been signed, sealed, and was ready to be delivered.

Chapter 106
Number One

“It’s a good thing Susanna isn’t along.” Urs laughed to Carlos as they sat in the make-up chair about 6:30 Tuesday morning. “She’d need a lot of coffee to keep her going. She’s not exactly a morning person…yet.”

“Well if anyone can change her ways it would be you. Gerry says she sounds so much happier these days so I guess you’re the one responsible, no?” Carlos said, staring straight ahead in the mirror as his kiss curl was given the finishing touch.

“I hope so, Carlos, I really hope so.” Urs got up from the chair in one fluid motion and pulled the protective paper from around his neck.

“Next we have a treat for you. This is a new group called Il Divo, made up of three classically trained singers and a pop singer put together by Simon Cowell. They will be starting the North American leg of their First World Tour this Friday in Wallingford, Connecticut. Let’s listen now to Carlos, David, Seb, and Urs, singing ‘Heroe’.” announced the host of The Early Show.

************************************

“I suppose it’s too much to hope that you four handsome guys are gay, right?”

“Sorry, no.” Carlos, David, Seb, and Urs answered in unison, recovering nicely.

“So then I imagine when you fellows get to us in March we’ll need to lock up our wives and daughters.” the Australian TV host of E-Weekend News teased.

“I’m sure the ladies out there are eager to know if any of you are available.” He looked expectantly at the four Divos, sitting on the sofa in a small conference room of the hotel.

“Ah no, I am married to my lovely wife Geraldine” Carlos said with his trademark eyebrow wiggle.

David smiled, “Sorry, I’m with someone.”

“I am looking for an Australian woman. There are so many beautiful ones here.” charmed Seb.

Urs had no comment.

*****************

Susanna leaned back into the chair opposite Sam Roth and smiled. She’d just finished telling him about being sick, missing the concert, and sending the bear and Joanne in her place.

“What a creative idea, Susanna.” Sam laughed. ”I can just imagine how touched Urs felt by your special gift.

“We’ve traded iPods and put special songs on them to listen to and I’ve showed him how to IM and of course we have the kissing hand signal. He’ll send it at the end of every concert. I can download the videos and watch it.” she elaborated as she pulled her iPod out of her purse.

“The iPod is an extremely good idea, not only to revisit special times you’d had but also as a way for Urs to decompress. From what you’ve told me his schedule will be very busy so this will fit into it perfectly. Then of course the bear is a great visual reminder, like a part of you is with him at each concert, just like the kissing hand signal.” complimented Sam.

“I honestly hadn’t thought of the iPod helping him relax. I just wanted to find a way that we could be listening to the same songs kind of together. Now I’m even more glad we did that.” Susanna admitted.

“I’m glad to hear you’ve set up some rituals and ways to stay connected when he’s on tour. That’s very important.”

“I’m also going to meet him for the Chicago concert. I have a long weekend. That’s only about three weeks away. I can hardly wait!” Susanna ran her words together in her excitement.

“You know Susanna, it’s essential while he’s on tour you try to see each other at least every six weeks or so. When separations get much longer it can make you both feel as if you’re leading separate lives.” Sam said firmly.

“That’s one bit of advice I’ll be glad to take.” Susanna grinned, nodding in agreement.

“Now any more panic attacks? Anything else you’ve remembered?” Sam refocused, as he quietly checked his watch.

“No, there haven’t been any nightmares or panic attacks, but I haven’t remembered anything else either, so I guess that’s a good thing.” Susanna reported, trying to stay positive.

“Have you told Urs about the panic attack yet? You might consider doing that just in case you have another one. That way he’d be more prepared.” Sam suggested.

“It’s just not a good time right now, Sam. He has enough on his plate with the concert just getting started. Besides, I’ve been fine lately. If I need to tell him, I’ll do it face to face in Chicago.” Susanna rationalized.

****************

Susanna was deep into next week’s lesson plans when she noticed Urs was online. What was he doing at the computer this early in the day? What luck! An extra visit with the uncrowned IM King!

Each of them had gotten a reminder to read their PMs. It was especially important to keep and build their Forum fan base by giving the members an opportunity to show their support and give their input. This was his ‘poster’ break.

It was 10:00 in the morning and they were up to their elbows in limited edition posters, 1000 to be exact that needed their autographs before the kick-off tomorrow night of the North American leg of the tour. He planned on thanking his mother as soon as possible for having the foresight to name him Urs instead of Maximillian or Florian. He also noticed Susanna’s screen image had changed to one he was certain would become his favorite, milk and cookies.




**************************

OK Fuzzy Wuzzy this is it. Thanks for your message. Susanna I feel you’re here with me. Just wait here for me on the dressing table, Fuzzy. I’ll see you at intermission.

With one last look in the mirror and a deep cleansing breath, Urs opened the door and took his place at the bottom of the stairs. As the orchestra finished playing the introduction, they stood like statues, focusing and centering themselves, waiting under the arch for their future to begin.

Oops! Sorry Fuzzy Wuzzy I didn’t mean to toss you so high, but guess what? Our new CD ‘Ancora’ just debuted at #1 on the Billboard chart! Can you believe that! Steve just came and told us. Yes! I can hardly wait to call your mother right after the concert. I have to share this. Oh Boy! Gotta hurry. ‘Live and Let Die’ is almost over.

****************

“Hi, Houdini! We’re #1! We did it!” Urs excited voice shouted into Susanna’s less than wide awake ear.

“Of course you did, Bag Boy. I never had a doubt! They loved you didn’t they?” Susanna sat up in bed and looked at the clock, 5:30AM.

“No, I mean yes they loved us and we got two standing ovations, but that’s not it! Ancora came in at #1 the first week! Steve came in and told us in the middle of the concert. I still can’t believe it!” Urs sounded deliriously happy.

Susanna could picture his Cheshire Cat smile and his eyes crinkling themselves shut.

“Oh my gosh! That is so wonderful, Urs. You’re practically an overnight success. I’m so proud of you, and Carlos, Seb, and David too of course. I’ll bet they were thrilled. Has Carlos told Gerry yet?” Susanna beamed into the phone.

“He’s calling her right now. I think Seb already talked to Juliana and of course Sandy was here to see it all. David is practically jumping out of his skin he’s so excited.”

“And I suppose you’re just calmly sitting there with your hands folded, right?” she teased.

“Well, achully I’m squeezing the stuffing out of Fuzzy Wuzzy, well not really but you know.” Urs admitted.

“Me too. BB Jr. may never be the same again.” She laughed, so happy they were sharing the moment with each other and also their surrogate partner.

“So you brought Fuzzy Wuzzy to the concert?”

“He gave me your message and waited for me on the dressing table. I listened to your kissing hand on the iPod too before I went on. I hope someone got it on their video. It’s the best I can do until you’re here.” Urs said in his soft accent.

“Are you going to go out and celebrate now?”

“I need to change and then I think we’ll all go get something to eat together. I’ll probably head back to the hotel after that. I know I’ll be too keyed-up to sleep for awhile. Maybe I’ll listen to some of the songs you put on my iPod.”

Susanna could hear a hint of tiredness creeping into his voice. How she longed just to put her arms around him. BB Jr. knew just how she felt.

“I’m glad you’re listening to them. I usually fall asleep every night to your New Years Eve song, Hymne A L’Amour. BB Jr. almost knows it by heart now.” she said in what Urs called her little girl voice.

“We’ll be taping Martha Stewart tomorrow. I wonder if we’ll be cooking. Just between us, that meatball and escarole soup we made last time wasn’t my favorite. Maybe it will be something with chocolate. I think it will be shown around Valentine’s Day. I’ll let you know tomorrow night when I call. I’ll try not to make it after midnight for you.”

“You’d better get something to eat, Urs. It’s almost midnight there. BB Jr. and I will be waiting for you to call. I love you my #1 Swiss Lover. Night.”

“Night, Heidi. Your #1 Swiss Lover loves you wery much.”

Chapter 107
Dear Diary

“Hi Houdini. Hope I didn’t catch you just walking in the door from work.”

“Hi Bag Boy, No I’ve had time to get comfy. I’ve been home about 30 min. I’m already curled up on the sofa with my daily Sudoku puzzle from the newspaper. How are you?”

“I’m ready for bed but just had to wait for you to get home to share this with you! Guess what we did on the Martha Stewart Show today?” Urs bragged.

“Something with chocolate?” Susanna guessed logically.

“Wrong! We made cookies! Meringue hearts….with grapefruit zest. And guess what we got to use to grate the zest?” he teased again.

Susanna could only think of a logical answer and from the tone of Urs’ voice it wasn’t logical. Therefore she gave the most logical answer available.

“I give up, Bag Boy.Tell me.”

“A wood rasp! Just like I used to use when I worked one summer doing carpentry. As soon as I get back we’re going to the hardware store and I’m buying you one. It was so easy to use and I didn’t even grate my fingers. Seb and I did get a little carried away though and wound up grating enough for about 3, 000 cookies I think she said. Oh and she kept calling me ‘Ers’.

“It sounds like it went well. What did you sing?”

Susanna was already picturing Urs ‘zesting’ everything in sight as soon as he could buy one. Just wait until he discovered it worked well with hard cheese. He’d probably request Italian food every night. She could see it all now, serving dinner for the other Divos and their partners. ‘ Carlos, would you care for a little spaghetti to go with your cheese?’

“Solo Otra Vez.” Urs hurried on, anxious to get back to the cookies.

“We sang before the cookies. You’d really have liked them, Susanna. We even made some of them pink. Then at the end we went around passing them out to the audience, just like waiters with our long white aprons.”

“Just remember everything you know about aprons was learned in my kitchen, Bag Boy.” Susanna threatened with a chuckle.

“Now let’s talk about where you were last night. You looked so tired and as our friend Larry the Learned would say, ‘disheveled’. Wasn’t it a little late to stop for coffee?” said Susanna the All-Knowing, waiting to hear what Urs would say.

“What? How did you know I stopped for coffee?” asked Urs the Amazed.

Soft bubbles of laughter floated into Urs’ ear. “Some of your Ubers must have seen you coming out of the coffee shop in the wee small hours, Bag Boy. I found it on the Forum tonight. Here, I’m sending it to you.”

“Not exactly my finest hour is it?” Urs the Woebegone said.

“Oh, I don’t know. You still look like Mr. Sex-on-a-Stick to me. But then I might just be a little prejudiced.” Susanna flirted.

“And you better stay that way.” Urs growled.

“Oh I will – promise!”

“I miss you so much Susanna” whispered Urs, doing his best not to let his voice betray how much he missed her. I’m just tired from this hectic schedule and feeling homesick for her right now. I’ll feel better after a good night’s rest but Gott what I wouldn’t give to be holding her while I slept!

But Susanna DID hear it though and said very softly, “Urs close your eyes and imagine my arms around you. Can you feel me holding you? I can feel your heart beating as I lay my head against your chest.”

“Mmmnn, yes Susanna, I can feel your soft hair, It smells so wonderful. Your body fits together so perfectly with mine… your skin feels like warm satin … I’m nuzzling your neck and it tickles and you do that funny turtle thing. Now I’m giving you tiny kisses on your shoulder and across you collarbone. You’re straddling me as I pull you closer down to me in the soft pillows.”

Susanna closed her eyes and imagined feeling his touch… “I’m kissing you and sliding my hand down your chest...”

All thought fled his mind as he imagined her warm lips kissing, nipping, soothing with her tongue, that he groaned … he couldn’t stop himself now. He pictured his fingers tangled in her hair, holding her to him while he deepened their kiss.

With a sharp intake of breath Susanna said, “I’m lowering my hand to the front of your boxers. Oh, Urs, I love you so much…”

The strain now on his boxers was more than he could take… “Susanna you are so beautiful. Your mouth is slightly parted and your lips swollen from our kiss. I can see the desire in your eyes, as you can see mine for you. Touch me, Susanna…”

Urs was wild by now and his loud groan of approval urged Susanna on.

“My hands are holding your hips…”

“and I’m arching my back, my hands are on my breasts…”

Susanna moaned as Urs told her to move her hips. As she thought of him thrusting into her, growing wilder in each other’s arms, they both had their sweet release.

In his mind’s eye Urs knew he had never seen Susanna looking more beautiful or bold as she did right now...
And as their breathing returned to normal Susanna knew that Urs would now be able to sleep as she bid him goodnight.

“I love you Bag Boy."

"And I love you , my Houdini."

***

Chapter 108
Chicago

Susanna snapped her suitcase shut and rolled it to the door, ready for her early morning departure. She’d already talked to Dar. Since the airport was north and she and Bob were on the far south side it would be easier just to meet them at the concert. Urs had arranged to leave all their tickets along with Susanna’s backstage pass at the box office. Susanna would go directly to Urs' hotel. Hopefully it would be in time to go with him to the soundcheck. If he’d already left, she’d change and meet all of them at the Chicago Theater.

Packing had been a no-brainer. Something warm and casual going and coming back, a red dress for the Valentine’s concert, black one for the Detroit concert on Sunday, and for the free day on Saturday something for sightseeing…maybe. Lovingly she laid her new pale pink baby dolls and white robe on the top. The only sight she wanted to see was Urs, Chicago would still be there on another trip.

**************************

“Hi Urs, I’m at the airport. Sorry if I woke you.” Susanna apologized, knowing it was 1:30 AM Urs’ time.

“Hi Houdini. Are you getting ready to board? Give me your flight numbers so I can check to see if there’s any delays.” he said, instantly awake and scrambling to find paper and something to write with.

“There’s no snow here yet,” he said checking through the window, “but the forecast is for very cold temperatures and probable snow later today. Let me know if you’re delayed so I won’t worry, OK?”

“I just got here a few minutes ago. I’ve just checked in and I’m on my way to security. We don’t leave for another two hours. Our weather is fine and the board shows we’re on time. I’m on American Airlines Flt. 432 from New York to Cincinnati and then Flt. 413 Cincinnati to Chicago. We’re scheduled to land at 3:38. I might not make the soundcheck. I’ll go straight to the Fairmont and change and get there as fast as I can. Leave you cell on if you can so I can keep in touch. See you soon, Swiss Lover.”

“I’ll be waiting, Heidi. I love you.”

***************************

“Urs, please try not to check the watch too much during the interview.” Carlos begged, “She will be here whenever she gets here. It will be fine.”

“It’s just this damned snow. It keeps following us. I hope it stops soon.” Urs squared his shoulders and sat down ready to be interviewed on ET Canada.

********************************

Urs was grabbing a quick bite to eat when Susanna called just after noon.

“I’m here, Bag Boy. Well at least in New York. We landed on time and I’m looking at the board right now. Good, my flight to Cincinnati is on time. I have about a half hour and the concourse is at the opposite end, so what else is new! How’s your weather there?”

“It’s been snowing and blowing all morning. I hope it stops soon. I’m getting a little worried.” Urs admitted, looking out at the blowing snow and bundled up people scurrying to get in from the cold as soon as possible.

“We aren’t called the Windy City for nothing, Urs. I’ll call from Cincinnati. Gotta run. I love you.”

“Be careful, Susanna, I love you too.”

**********************

Steve had decided on a little earlier soundcheck due to the weather. Even though the snow looked to be letting up, everyone would be at the venue in case the weather got worse again. Urs was in the car riding over the recently plowed main streets when Susanna called.

“Hi Urs, it’s me. Here in Cincinnati. My flight to Chicago is delayed. We don’t have any snow here but they said there’s a lot of earlier flights waiting to get into Chicago so we have to stay on the ground until the they clear up the backlog. They promised we’d get out tonight though. I’m so sorry, but there’s nothing I can do. At least I didn’t have a stop in Cleveland. They’re backed up too. I’ll call when I know more. I love you.” Susanna gave a disappointed sigh, pulling off her scarf and unbuttoning her coat in the stuffy terminal.

“Are you OK? Did you get any sleep? Do you remember the hotel?” asked Urs the Anxious.

“Fine, Yes, and the Fairmont. Now go do whatever you were doing. I’ll call before we leave.” Susanna the Calm instructed in her teacher voice.

“Okay, leave me a message if I don’t answer. See you soon.” Urs mentally added an ‘I hope’ followed by a silent prayer.

Susanna switched ears and punched in Dar’s number; better let her know what was happening. Hopefully she could keep Urs from panicking just in case she was late. The last thing he needed was to look into the audience and see her empty seat.

************************

“Has she called you?” Darlene asked Urs as he met them backstage.

“Yes, she called a half hour ago. They were still taxiing to the gate. That was 6:30. She’s going to the hotel to change and then straight here.” Urs couldn’t hide the relief in his voice.

“I’ll leave my phone on in case she gets delayed.” Darlene offered, seeing Urs visibly relax.

“It took us quite a bit longer to get here with the weather.” Bob added.

“The main thing is that she gets here safe and sound. Oh and I took your advice about the bracelet. I found a very special one I think. I hope she likes it.”

**************

Susanna impatiently did her own version of Urs’ thigh slap all the way from the airport to the Fairmont as she gave time checks to Dar in the second row. She checked in at the front desk, was given her key card and followed her bag up to Urs’ suite.

Her brain temporarily paused her heart, along with the rest of her, as she walked into the bedroom. Turn-down service extraordinaire--candles everywhere waiting to be lit, champagne bucket thirsty for a drink, and rose petals scattered on the pillows.

Most of the unpacking could come later; right now it was concert time. Wearing her white robe, she did her make-up, slipped on her heels and changed into her red dress, smoothing out the few wrinkles the best she could. Then out the door like a flash, it was already 9:00.

As she picked up her ticket and backstage pass at the box office she could hear ‘Live and Let Die’. Finding the nearest usher she frantically waved the pass in his face, hoping if they hurried directly backstage she could see Urs before he went back on.

***********************

Too late.
Susanna could hear Carlos voice. ‘I Believe in You’ had started.

Oh well, I’ll just wait here in his dressing room until they change into their white jackets. Won’t he be surprised?! Maybe I’ll just call Dar so she can give him a thumbs up or something so he won’t worry.

Susanna slipped off her coat and dropped it on the chair in the corner, then decided to wait for Urs in the ‘star’ chair in front of the dressing table. As she swiveled around, she took in his clothes hung neatly and his boots lined up perfectly on the floor beside the dressing table.

Look, his iPod. He listened before he went on and there’s Fuzzy Wuzzy propped up against the mirror. I wonder if he gets teased about that. Her eyes and mind panned over the array of hair products in tubes and jars, then stopped suddenly on a square beige box sitting near the edge of the table. The lid was part way off as if someone had been looking inside and hastily set it back on. Nearby was a length of wide, pink satin ribbon and a card with ‘Susanna’ written in Urs familiar hand. She didn’t really need any presents; she only needed him, but still how romantic that he’d gotten her a gift for Valentine’s Day. Maybe just a little peek wouldn’t hurt.

Susanna opened the unsealed card first.

My sweet Susanna,

Your love is music in its purest form.
You are the notes on the page and the melody in my heart.
Yours always,

Urs

Susanna was certain her heart would flutter out of her body, too full to hold all the happiness within as her eyes overflowed.

She lifted the lid to reveal a white card with the name Cartier sitting on top of a deep blue velvet pouch. As she held the card and read silently, her fingers began to tremble and her expression changed from curiosity to shock to horror to disbelief.

‘The designer modeled this bracelet after legendary chastity belts, said to be have been bolted to wives’ waists when their husbands went away—to keep the wives faithful. The Love Bracelet comes with a tiny screwdriver to bolt it onto the wrist, signifying a committed relationship.’



As if in a dream her fingers put the card down, reached for the bag and tipped out the contents. She held them in her hand like an archeologist examining some ancient artifact from a long lost civilization, trying to understand the person who made it…

The room began to close in, now only wide enough to accommodate the width of the mirror in front of her. She was getting ready the night of the accident. Bruce has just slipped her bracelet, her token of faithfulness, her symbol of bondage, onto her wrist.

She could feel his vise-like grip, squeezing the bracelet as he looked over at her. Resolve ran up her spine like the laces of a corset being tightened, straightening, and strengthening. She would pick her moment in the car.

With nails that dug into her skin making bloody furrows, she clawed the imaginary bracelet from her arm. Finally succeeding, she flung Urs gift from her as if it were a loathsome thing, rubbing her hands on her clothes to cleanse them from it’s touch. Her breathing was harsh and uneven from her efforts.

Now she was in the car. The steady whump, whump of the tires became faster and faster, a steady, insistent command, ‘tell him, tell him’, drowning out the music onstage.

They were meeting his friends for dinner.
Bruce was in a good mood. He’d already been celebrating with a drink. He’d have the bragging rights tonight. Susanna pictured him putting the ‘little wife’ on display, proud as punch to announce he’d soon be a father, just like the rest of his buddies. Her stomach clenched in disgust.

Susanna swallowed the bile that rose in her throat. Sucking in huge lungfuls of air, she looked frantically around the room. No! she must not be sick here; Urs must not know.

When they were first married, they’d agreed to wait to start a family. Not that Susanna didn’t love children, didn’t want several children of her own, just not right away. How glad she was they’d waited. As Bruce became more and more controlling she knew she’d never want a child brought up in this kind of atmosphere, as an object, one more thing to control.

But as time went on, his friends settled down, began to have children, so macho Bruce decided it was time to begin their family. She’d protested of course, stayed on the pill as long as possible, but in the end he’d worn her down, even now she was almost afraid to admit how he’s intimidated her with his verbal and emotional abuse. She’d been a wimp and she knew that, but no more. Someone else was more important now, the child she was carrying.

“Bruce, we need to talk.”
Good start, keep going. No turning back now. Why does my mouth feel like I’m eating cotton balls?

Susanna’s fingers closed around the half-empty bottle of water on the dressing table as if it were her salvation…an oasis in the desert. She opened it and gulped greedily till it was empty, then set it down with a thump and leaned back in the chair, out of breath.

“Yeah, sure babe what’s on your mind?”
How I hate it when he calls me that. He knows I hate it but I’m not going to let him get to me tonight.
This endearment, made unclean the way Bruce said it, was displaced by the sound of her blood rushing in her ears.

Susanna put her hand over her banging heart, willing it to beat slower, to stay in her chest. Surely someone backstage would hear it any minute.

“Now that I’m pregnant we need to put the baby first.”
I really can’t see him putting anyone first except himself but I have to try. He is my husband and I promised to be a good wife.
Susanna could feel herself being torn in two. Why did the right decision, the only possible decision bring with it such guilt?

Susanna turned away from the mirror and buried her face in her hands, blinking back tears of hopelessness and frustration.

“So…he’ll have any toys he wants. Maybe you could even quit your job at the end of the school year. Then once we get a baby sitter lined up you could sub or go back to teaching full time again. How’s that?”
Stuff! That’s all you think about. What about growing up in a loving family with parents who treat each other as equals. And leave it to you to want me back earning money again as soon as I can. I want to stay home, be a full time mother. That’s the job I want, the best one in the world.Susanna could feel her anger rise, like a thermometer creeping up to heat her face.

Swiveling around quickly, she studied her image in the dressing room mirror. Her fingers felt icy cold as she touched her flaming cheeks. Trembling, she wondered, ‘Do I have a fever?’

“I mean our baby needs to grow up in a family where he’s not always controlled…like you do to me. I need to look out for him. We need to sort this out while we have time….before the baby is born. I’ve made an appointment for us with a counselor.”
There it’s out.
Susanna stilled her fidgeting hands and allowed them to fall limply to her lap, with a small sigh.

Releasing the breath she hadn’t known she was holding, Susanna slumped back in the dressing room chair as her head dropped to her chest in relief.

“You need to look out for him?! You need to look out for him?! That’s my job. I’m the head of this family. What I say goes. You’ve never complained before. Don’t you think it’s a little too late now, babe?
All you want is another person to control. I can’t let that happen.
Her jaw ached as she gritted her teeth, determined to continue.

Taut, strained neck muscles held her head in a vise. Even as Susanna’s hands kneaded the rigid tendons in an attempt to relieve the tension, the fiercely resolute face in the mirror stared back.

“Our appointment is next Wednesday.”

“And what if I don’t want to go? I don’t need some sanctimonious jackass spouting psycho-babble at me. We’re doing just fine like we are. Thanks, but no thanks.”
Ok take a deep breath. You can do this. For once in your life you can stand up to him. Think of your baby, Susanna.
Susanna saw red. Her repressed rage, hot and smoldering was doused by a wave of overpowering love for her child, to be replaced by a steel hard strength and courage that made her invincible.

The arms of the chair were attacked by Susanna’s white-knuckled death grip, her living image a fierce warrior queen.

“If you don’t go with me I can’t stay with you.”
I actually stood up for myself and my baby. I feel so free…almost giddy.
A calm detachment seeped through Susanna, reflecting a dispassionate, self-possessed mirror image.

What was Bruce doing? Why was he looking over at her? He was the driver. He should be looking at the road.

“Why you little…”

“Look out! No!” Susanna’s scream was swallowed as the woman in the mirror covered her head with her hands, shutting her eyes tightly as an even more horrifying memory surfaced, causing her shudder.

…the tires squealing, glass breaking, the deafening crunch of metal, tumbling in space, the sudden absolute stillness, the stabbing pain tearing through her stomach, blood, so much blood everywhere…then blackness.

**********************

Susanna could feel something crawling over her skin, pain in her chest, crushing the breath out of her, the room was tilting…

As if through a fog Susanna heard Sam Roth’s voice –
Susanna closed her eyes, the memory of his mellow voice whispering in her mind. What was he saying?
‘Breathe slowly, Susanna, that’s right, you’re blowing out the candle, hands on your stomach, feel your breathing, slower, slower, relax your shoulders, very good, it’s all right, you’ll be fine soon, slower, slower…’

Susanna gradually regained control of herself and looked around the room. How long had she been here? Was the show over? Urs would be back any minute!

She had to get out. The bracelet…the accident….too much….she had to think…she had to get away.

The sound of applause gave wings to her feet as she fled out the backstage door and into the bitterly cold Valentine’s Day night.

Chapter 109
After the concert

Urs smiled his first genuine smile all day as he shrugged his arms into the white jacket held open by the wardrobe assistant. Seb, Carlos, and David breathed a collective sigh of relief and returned his smile, as they did their quick change routine just off stage.

“She’s on her way. Darlene just gave me a thumbs up. That’s the signal. Susanna must have called her. Gott sei Dank!“ he grinned, rolling his eyes.

Then the four handsome singers returned to their audience for the last time to thrill them with beautiful music and falling rose petals on this most romantic evening of the year.

*********************

Urs eyes registered Susanna’s empty seat and Darlene’s shrug simultaneously. No need to worry, she’d probably gone straight to his dressing room. Why couldn’t he have been quicker with his jacket and run to take a peek? Of all the bad luck. Oh well, it wouldn’t be long now.

“She should be here by now, Bob. It’s been almost 45 minutes.” Dar said to her husband, as she checked her watch yet again.
“What do you think we should do?”

“There’s nothing we can do right now. When the show ends we’ll stay here until Urs sends someone to get us, just like we planned. Then we’ll all go out for something to eat. Don’t worry, hon, she’s probably waiting in his dressing room. They haven’t seen each other in awhile, besides he’ll want to be alone to give her the bracelet.” Bob patted his wife’s hand comfortingly and focused his attention on the singers.

*************

Urs couldn’t get off the stage fast enough, bounding around people in the backstage rush to begin packing up the show for Detroit. He flung open his dressing room door and stood there stunned….no Susanna. But surely she must be here somewhere! He grabbed his cell phone from his jacket hanging on the rack and dashed out, leaving the door wide open.

He jabbed the speed button as he looked around for someone to escort Darlene and Bob backstage. “Pick up! Pick up!” he willed, but Susanna’s phone went straight to voice mail. Schiesse!

As he waited for Darlene and Bob he asked anyone he met if they’d noticed her, finally he found someone. Yes they’d seen her go into his dressing room but she had also left suddenly. Yes they were sure. No they didn’t see where. You didn’t hold the door open long when it was below freezing. No she hadn’t left any notes or messages.

“You were really in a hurry to get backstage tonight, buddy. I wond…” David stopped in mid-sentence as he saw the frantic look on Urs’ face. He’d never seen him so rattled. Urs’ eyes darted in every direction searching, hoping there was a mistake, praying she was still there.

“What’s the matter?” David asked anxiously as Carlos and Seb joined him. Urs looked like a herky-jerky wind up toy with arms that make huge gestures as he spoke. His body seemed coiled with nervous energy, ready to spring at the slightest touch. He spoke outloud to himself as he paced, raking his fingers through his hair, barely registering David’s voice.

“Susanna was here but now she’s gone. I just don’t get it! What could have happened? Did she get sick? Was there some emergency? Where is she?” Urs shook his head in disbelief as his brow furrowed with worry.

“Maybe she left a note. Have you looked in your room?” Carlos asked as he took his arm and steered him toward the dressing room.

“I’ll find Steve and let him know. Maybe he’s seen her.” offered Seb and quickly strode off.

David, Carlos and Urs arrived at the dressing room just as Darlene and Bob showed up. Seeing Urs so agitated and anxious caused their level of concern to jump immediately.

“She’s gone missing. She was here and then she left. I have no idea why. I’ve tried calling her but it goes straight to voice mail. Will you try?” Urs implored as a shocked Dar nodded and took out her phone. Her call also went to voice mail. Susanna either couldn’t or wouldn’t answer.

“Steve hasn’t seen her, Urs, but he has a few people looking just in case she’s still here. Oh, and he said we need to get changed. We’ll be going soon. The weather is so bad we’re heading straight back to the hotel, no stops for the fans this time. Will you be riding with us Urs?” Seb asked making no attempt to mask the concern on his face.

“We can drop Urs at the hotel, that is if it’s alright with you Urs? We were planning on getting together after the concert anyway. Obviously that has changed.” Bob said as he shifted his feet nervously and looked from Urs to the others, silently hoping he hadn’t overstepped his bounds.

“Uh…ja that’s fine. Seb would you tell Steve?” Urs shook his head as if to rid himself of a pesky gnat, willing his brain to make some sense of this.

“What about a note? Carlos persisted, refocusing everyone’s attention.

Urs went in first as the others crowded after him. He scanned the dressing table, the only logical place for a note. Several of his tubes were knocked down and a few were misplaced he was sure, evidence of Susanna being here. His eyes paused, then stopped on the Cartier box…the lid was off and the bracelet was missing.!

“The bracelet’s gone! Do you think she took it? Why would she leave? You don’t think someone….” Urs turned bewildered and asked the room, searching their faces for an answer.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, Urs. They saw her leave, by herself. I’m sure she’s alright. Something must have come up.” Maybe she’s back at the hotel.” Carlos said in a soothing voice.

Urs was on the phone in a flash, but no one answered in his room. He tried the front desk.

“What time did she check in?” Urs face was a mask of concentration.

“When was that?” his eyebrows rose as he checked the time.

“How?” his anxious voice pressured.

“Did she leave a message?” he asked shakily as his voice rose.

“No….no thank you.” he replied numbly.

His eyes acknowledged the worry in his friends faces as he shared his information.

“She did check in a little after the concert started. A little while later they remembered calling a cab for her. That’s when she got here. Then she must have gone back because about 10:45 she called for a cab again and left with her suitcase. She didn’t leave any messages, just the key card and now she gone. I just don’t understand? What happened?”

Seb walked up just in time to catch the last of what Urs was saying. “Steve says that’s fine if you want to stay Urs. Just do what you need to do and keep him informed. The rest of us need to get going. Will you be OK?” Seb asked putting his hand on Urs shoulder.

“Ja, Seb. You guys go on. I’ll let you know if I find out anything.” Urs tried to lift the corners of his mouth in some sort of reassuring expression but his heart wouldn’t allow it.

“We’ll just wait out here while you change.” Bob ushered Darlene out after Seb, Carlos and David.

“Call us, Urs…anytime. Hang in there, buddy. Let us know if there’s anything we can do.”

*************

Urs closed the door and leaned against it, feeling a weariness creep into his very bones. Pushing himself away from the door he began to change back into Urs the Man. Like an automaton he hung up his clothes on the rack and pulled on his tee shirt. As he grabbed for his jeans, some lose change fell out and rolled under the chair. What else could go wrong!

He put on his jeans and then bending down to scoop up the money, he stopped dead. There was the bracelet and chain. He picked it up and sat down heavily in the chair, stunned. How had it gotten there? Susanna…She must have dropped it when she left, but under the chair? It couldn’t have simply fallen there? Was she trying to hide it? Was she trying to throw it away? Was did it mean? He didn’t have a clue but his analytical brain told him somehow he’d made a terrible mistake.

He pulled on his boots and jacket, grabbed his iPod, stuffed the bear into a plastic carrier bag and slipped the bracelet back into it’s pouch.

“You found it! Where was it?” Darlene exclaimed pointing to the pouch in Urs’ hand.

“Back under the chair. I’m not sure how it got there, but I don’t think it just fell. Maybe she dropped it and accidentally kicked it or something. Do you mind if we leave now?” Urs said wearily.

***********************

“Are you sure you want us to just drop you off?” Darlene asked, looking worriedly at Urs. He looked absolutely exhausted. She hated the thought of him being alone right now, but he did have the other Divos there for support. Hopefully Susanna would be in touch soon. Darlene and Urs traded phone numbers and would call immediately if Susanna contacted either of them.

**********************

Urs slipped the key card into the slot and stared at the green light. He could hardly wait yet couldn’t bring himself to push it open. This was the last place she had been. He could almost feel her there through the door. Her hand was the last one to touch the place where his was now.

Ironic isn’t it Urs? Now you could help her with those Sunday crosswords. 3 DOWN: 11 letters, a mixture of pain and love, bittersweet.
Urs opened the door and went in.

The room was the same, everything ready for their reunion, their romantic night. Her scent pervaded every corner, swirled around his senses and seeped into his very soul. The bag with Fuzzy Wuzzy was dumped unceremoniously on the nearest chair in the sitting room. Had he ever felt this bone tired? He walked over to the desk, set the bracelet down and began to empty his pockets. Then he saw the paper.

The piece of paper, a raggedly torn half-sheet of hotel stationary, just a corner visible, tucked under the room service folder was from Susanna. Letters ill-formed, almost scribbled, haphazardly sitting on the page:

i’ can’t
mY Fault

sorry
NO


Urs crumpled to the chair. He felt physically sick. His beating heart increased its rhythm to keep pace with his racing thoughts. This was a message from someone who was distraught, capable of only incoherent babblings, there was no logic, no reason, only extreme emotional turmoil and it was from his Susanna, the woman he loved, his Foxhole Friend and he was not there for her. He could give her no comfort, no soothing words, no offering the safety of his embrace, no tender kiss. She was gone.

Still clutching the note, he dragged himself off the chair and plodded into the bedroom. His heart lurched in shock at the rose petals on the pillow. Schiesse! He had forgotten about them. It seemed an eternity since he’d planned that. His cleverness mocked him now, twisting his gut. In a rush he threw the note on the night stand and got to the bathroom just in time.

He left the light off. The darkness felt somehow comforting, matching his mood. Urs swished the water around in his mouth, spit, and lifted his head to wipe his face on a towel. His reflection in the mirror froze. He turned around to the back of the door. Susanna’s white robe was on the hook.

His trembling fingers caressed the silk as he gently took it down and buried his face in her scent. He hugged the robe to his chest and stumbled toward the bed, bothering only to take off his boots, letting them lie where they fell. In one motion the rose petals were flung to the floor as he shook the pillows. Then lovingly he placed her robe on the pillow next to his and crawled under the covers.

The robe must surely be a sign, but of what?
Hope – that she would be back? that their love would survive?
Panic – that she had simply needed to leave this place, this room so quickly she had forgotten it?
Rejection – that she wanted no reminders of him, wanted nothing from him.
The only fact he knew for sure was that Houdini had disappeared and there was nothing magical about it.

He gathered the robe into his embrace, curled up in a ball of absolute misery and let the tears come.

Chapter 110
Falling Apart

Please note: I have changed some of the concert dates in the interest of the story. Thank you again Laurene for letting me use your picture.

The sudden jolt in her stomach told her she was moving. She was in the elevator of her apartment. How had she gotten here? She was getting out of a cab, freezing, noise and pages echoing in hollow terminal spaces, someone was covering her with a blanket, voices asking if she wanted something to eat…no thank you… a hot wash cloth to help her wake up…the bitter smell of coffee made her gag…thump, thump as her passport was stamped, next please, …the tube, home at last. All she wanted was to sleep for a week, cover her head…not think….not feel.

**************************************

Urs rolled over, rearranged his limbs, eyelids fluttered, burrowed down again, slowly his brain began to think, to remember, he pulled the covers over his head, not yet. He drifted off again.

The persistent ring demanded his attention. Susanna!

“Urs, it’s David. How are you? Any news?” Urs grabbed the phone, then sank back into the bed holding the phone in his outstretched hand. Not Susanna.

“No.” Urs half whispered, in a lifeless response. How soon would it become his automatic answer he wondered. Would he become like one of those poor pathetic people interviewed in lurid specials? ‘No we haven’t heard from our ”whoever” in five years but we know in our heart they are still alive and if you hear us dear please contact this number.’

He forced himself focus, to push this bizarre scenario out of his mind. The logical, analytical part of his mind refused to accept a less than reasonable explanation. What he needed was more information.

“She left a note. I’ll meet you downstairs for coffee in…” Urs was abhorred at the time…10:00. ‘a half hour. Have you heard from Steve?” Urs sat on the edge of the bed and absently lined up his discarded boots neatly, then pushed his hand through his hair.

“He called and he’s booked us on an earlier flight just in case the weather turns bad again. It’s clear in Detroit right now but he doesn’t want to take any changes. We’re meeting in the lobby at 2. He wanted us to let you know.”

“OK. See you downstairs in a bit.”
Urs checked his cell. There’s been no messages but just in case he called Darlene. No, Susanna still wasn’t picking up. He gave her the Il Divo itinerary so she could keep in touch if….make that when she heard from her. He must stay positive. He could not function if he gave into his dark thoughts.

*****************************

“So that’s all I know. I still don’t have a clue.” Urs let his hands, which had just finished telling his story, fall to his lap.

He’d told them about Susanna’s nightmare on the plane, how a big chunk of the accident was still missing from her memory, about the note, and even the robe. Seb, Carlos and David knew how much that last revelation had cost him in terms of his privacy. They were humbled to be privy to these personal revelations yet sick with fear to realize how terrified and desperate he must be to have discarded his inherently private nature.

********************************

Fuzzy Wuzzy was in permanent time out. He sat with his nose to the mirror. Urs of course could still see him, that was why he refused to open his eyes as his hair and make-up transformed him into a Divo. Not quite ready to tempt fate, he still squeezed his paw, still heard Susanna’s message of encouragement and against all reason still found it comforting.

“I know you’re supposed to be the poster boy for dark, mysterious and aloof, Urs, but I think you’re overdoing it a bit.” Seb whispered out of the side of his mouth as he sauntered over to Urs between songs.



“Am I going to have to flub my lines again before your Ubers get even a little smile?” he teased and finally saw Urs’ dimples, as the women screamed their approval.

“Sorry I stepped on your line there, David.”
Focus, Urs, it will be intermission in a minute. You can check your phone again then. You’re a professional. Act like it.
Urs wondered if he should have that written in small letters on his cuff to look at whenever he needed it, say every five seconds or so.

Sunday, February 16 – Detroit concert
walked all over David’s line, can’t think
guys trying to joke me out of my mood
text from Darlene at intermission, Susanna safe, home in London, refuses to talk about it right now, promised to call Darlene
Gott I was so worried
2nd half of concert much better
need to go to London ASAP, have 3 days between Minneapolis and Seattle, Steve says no
guys agree…terrible idea, will wait till she calls Darlene
miss her too much
gym after concert again
listening to iPod, is she?

http://rapidshare.com/files/215378594/SHE_FOR_JUDY.mp3

SHE

She
May be the face I can't forget
A trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She may be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day.

She
May be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell

She who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She may be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
That I'll remember till the day I die

She
May be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough and ready years
Me I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is

She, she, she

Monday, February 17 – Niagara Falls concert
Long workout in gym
UK fans here, met backstage, amazed they came so far
crazy woman tried to pull me off the stage tonight, practically climbed into my lap, freaked me out, where is security, can’t do this, never thought this would happen
where is she?????
talked to Fuzzy Wuzzy, is that sick or what? I need her to talk to, phoned, email, text, why won’t she talk to me????
promised to be my Foxhole friend
What did I do??

**********************************

Susanna managed to function at school on Tuesday, just barely. She caught Rosemary before school and gave her the post-it note version minus most of the gorier details and asked her please to let the others know. The mere thought of a rehash of shoulda, coulda, woulda’s made her break out in a cold sweat. At lunch she called Sam Roth to see if he could somehow fit her in. Even waiting one more day seemed impossible. She stayed in her room for lunch.


Tuesday, February 18 – Minneapolis concert
Too cold for words, must have set record
flowers & gifts delivered backstage only
shouted ‘go David’ during IBIY, someone tripped near Seb while he was sitting but OK
difficult to do blinks but tried my best
trouble focusing on the music, no word about Susanna, thought about calling school but what if she wouldn’t talk, I’m so scared
can feel the guys getting tired of my little slips, must try harder
gym 2X today, exhausted but slept a few hours

***************************

Sam looked upon Susanna’s tears as a good thing, a first step in letting go of the guilt she felt about the accident. She could now begin to heal. By the end of their session she was starting to accept that her choice to protect her child, to assert herself with Bruce on that particular night was coincidence, a terrible but unplanned happening, not intentional. She was not to blame. He knew that it would take time for her to truly forgive herself. Her mind might grasp the concept now, but it would be awhile until the reality sank into her heart. That this reality would come to her, he was certain. Her perception of Urs and herself and their relationship now however, seemed to be a moot point.

In her words, it was destroyed. There was no future. She had quite frankly blown it. How could he possibly tolerate, let alone love, someone who had, even unwittingly, caused such a terrible tragedy? And even if he could get past that, she had hurt him so deeply by running away like a coward without saying a word, there was no way he could forgive her. Her behavior had been reprehensible; she was so ashamed. She had betrayed his trust, not confided in him despite the fact that he had always been there for her, always been infinitely patient with her, always accepted her and all her insecurities unconditionally, and always given her only love and understanding. He knew nothing of her panic attack over the bracelet. If only she’d told him; this would never have happened. It was yet another case of her poor judgment, poor timing, waiting too long to assert herself, to say what she wanted and needed. Yes, the test had come before the lesson and the teacher had failed miserably, yet again.

First with Bruce and now with Urs and .….Just as the first time, her failure had cost her dearly, the baby she had promised to protect with her life, gone as if it had never been and now the man she truly loved with all her heart, her Foxhole friend, her Swiss Lover, her Bag Boy, her Prince, her Urs. No more. This time the price had been too high. She could not bear it.

************************

Sam wanted to see her again next week, but in the meantime would she at least consider his advice to talk to a friend, a minister or priest, get another perspective, call Urs so he wouldn’t worry.
‘Yes I will consider it.’ said her mouth.
‘But can I take that risk?’ whispered her heart.

***************************

“Bob, I’m so worried about Susanna. She sounded, I don’t know… so lost on the phone. If she won’t talk to me maybe her mother knows more about what’s going on and she did say they’d been getting along better lately. Yes, I’m going to call.” Darlene hoped she wouldn’t lose her friend over this but something about that bracelet didn’t ring true and it had been her idea after all.

Darlene hung up the phone and sat in stunned silence.
“Did she give you a hard time, hon?” Bob said as he walked into the bedroom and saw the worry on her face.

“It’s all my fault, Bob. Susanna hated that bracelet. I just knew things weren’t right between Bruce and her. She was always so on edge when he was around, so guarded. Why didn’t I try to do more the few times I saw her? But we were so far apart and she never once said a thing in her calls and emails. I am just sick that I caused this!”

“I have to call her, let her know it wasn’t Urs’ fault, it was mine. That stupid bracelet! Why did I ever tell him that would be a good idea? All he did was take my advice and it turned out so horribly wrong. I created this mess but maybe I can fix it. It’s too late to call Susanna tonight but at least I can tell Urs. Then they can straighten out this little misunderstanding. I can’t imagine why she hadn’t told him though. Probably for the same reason she didn’t tell me. She always was the pacifier, keep everyone happy, take the blame, don’t rock the boat, that was her way. What she must have gone through to pretend her marriage was happy.

Chapter 111
Falling Down

Tuesday evening, after the concert, Urs had joined Fuzzy Wuzzy in Australia, aka the sofa of his hotel room. He had just been sent there by David, Carlos, and Seb who had just left after a supportive but frank ‘chewing out’ that Urs would not deny he rightly deserved.

He had not been pulling his weight. Above all things he considered himself a dedicated professional. Like the other Divos he had worked long and hard to achieve his success and perfect his craft. That he had the immense good fortune to be included in this fledgling project was still difficult to comprehend.

Yet with the tour barely started he’d allowed his personal life to affect his performance, his passion and it was totally selfish. This was a group and the behavior of one person, Urs, was affecting all of them. On stage he needed to be the 100% focused Urs of old, a perfectionist, totally ‘on’.

Privately, Seb, Carlos and David worried that lately Urs chose punishing workouts in the gym over their company, but knowing how private he was, they understood they would have to wait until he came to them. Publicly, Carlos, speaking for the group explained how Urs had added extra worry, work, and tension to the mix and he needed to get himself under control before the next concert in Seattle four days from now. Period.

Bless his heart, David came to the rescue with some silly joke to lighten the mood after a totally ashamed Urs, apologized profusely. After clearing the air, they all had no doubt this wouldn’t happen again.

**********************

Urs said goodbye to Darlene, hung up and let out a groan of despair as he fell back onto the bed in surrender. Were all the fates against him? He couldn’t have chosen a worse gift if he’d tried! A stud for her navel would have been more welcome! If only he could have been there to explain it, to tell her he didn’t know, he couldn’t know. Then it would have been alright. This terrible misunderstanding could have been avoided. Well at least Darlene was going to call Susanna and let her know the suggestion was hers. It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t realize the significance. Susanna would realize that, forgive him and everything would be right again.

Urs jerked up to a sitting position. Just a minute! Susanna would forgive him? For what? He’d done nothing wrong. It was her fault! The ray of sunshiny certainty Urs had just felt changed to gray clouds of doubt and hurt. Susanna hadn’t shared and because of this he’d been blindsided. Didn’t she understand how he felt? How disappointed and hurt he was that still she didn’t trust him? They had called each other Foxhole friends. How could she betray him like this? Did their words and passionate expressions of love mean nothing? He had been there for her always, and now? Was there even more she hadn’t trusted herself to tell him? How could he ever be sure? He loved her so much, even now. Maybe she didn’t love him enough.

************************

”Susanna, pick up. I know you’re there. It’s too early to be in bed and I know about the bracelet. Pick up now or I’ll just keep calling…”

Wednesday afternoon in Chicago, Dar’s timing was improving, usually she called about midnight.
Susanna heaved a sigh of surrender and picked up the phone.

“Hello, Dar. How did you find out?” Susanna asked warily.

“I called Muz yesterday. By the way you’d better call her and fill her in when we get done, All I told her was Urs gave you the bracelet and you were really upset and wouldn’t say why and she filled in the rest. She sounded worried, but somehow different, more like she’d wait for you to tell her instead of how she used to always jump in and take over.” Dar was on a roll in bestfriend giving out advice mode.

“Well I knew it would probably come out eventually, just not so soon.” Susanna sighed with resignation.

“You know you could have at least told me. Then I could have told Urs it was a bad idea or you didn’t like bracelets. I don’t know why you just didn’t tell him in the first place. He did sound relieved though when I called him. Now you can talk to him and get this straightened out. I know that’s what you both want.”

Although Susanna could have cheerfully strangled her best friend right now, she knew Dar’s heart was in the right place so she tempered her response.

“I really wish you hadn’t done that, Dar. It’s more complicated than just the bracelet. When I saw the bracelet it helped me remember the accident. I know what happened that night, all of it and it was my fault. I’m to blame for the accident. There’s not any fix to this. Promise me you won’t call Urs. I really don’t want to talk about it right now.” Susanna’s said in a hollow voice.

“Sus, you know I love you to death and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you but I can’t lie. We may have been best friends since we were five, but I think you’re wrong. Urs needs to know. He has a right, hon, he loves you and he’s hurting too. Just be honest and tell him the whole story, whatever it is and go from there. Don’t miss this chance that life is giving you to spend with the man you love. There are no rewinds.”

Susanna must have been a good influence. After all these years as friends it seemed Dar had also acquired a teacher voice.

“Will you at least not call him for a few days? I really do need some time to wrap my head around all this. Please?” Susanna pleaded.

“I’ll give you the weekend. After that all bets are off. That’s the best I can do.” Dar compromised.

“Okay.” Susanna sighed. “I’d better call Muz next. I promise to stay in touch. Bye.”

True to her word, ten Transatlantic minutes later Susanna had given Muz the Cliff notes summary of the bracelet, it had gone down well, and again she’d promised to stay in touch. BB Jr. lay on the edge of Urs side of the bed and took note of this conversation should the need arise and it probably would. Although not in the time out closet, he did not foresee the return of his old status as bosom buddy in the immediate future either.

As Susanna gave BB Jr. a pat goodnight from the other side of the bed, she felt overwhelmed by Dar’s news. Instead of being a simple solution, it had only added another layer of confused doubts to sift through and she realized she couldn’t do it alone.

Flipping the light off, she snuggled the best she could, hugging herself and added one more thing on her to do list: call Father Mike.

********************************

Saturday, February 22 – Seattle concert
Easier to focus, no mistakes
Seb sang Mama to a man’s cell phone from the front row
still nervous about sitting on stage after Niagara, sat on a huge speaker with excuse of bad back
waved back to Divas frantically waving in first and second tiers, how they loved it
Seb hit himself in the face with his rose stem
no news about Susanna, obviously she doesn’t want to talk to me, been a week

******************

“Ah Susanna, ‘tis good to see you.” Father Mike wrapped her in a huge bear hug and she knew she was home, where somehow it would be made right, she would find peace and forgiveness.

They walked together in the garden, barren still in the cold February wind except for the peeking promise of daffodils. The air was filled with confessions of failings and guilt, doubts and fear left to sink into the sleeping soil. Grief and hurt swirled together with joy and hopes around them in the endless combinations of pain and pleasure, a certainty for all who choose to live.

There was, no shocked scolding, no high-handed hindsight, nor any pompous platitudes, just a gentle probing to remove deeply imbedded slivers of guilt and soothe the hurt with forgiveness in the silence of Susanna’s heart. Then finally as she accepted the gift of forgiveness she realized she could not withhold the same gift from herself.

Father Mike invited her to supper, his housekeeper was always preparing too much food anyway he grumbled. Well, too much except when it came to potatoes in any shape or form he laughed, an acknowledgement of his cultural weakness.

Susanna was staying with nearby friends in St. Neots and would see him again for Mass tomorrow morning. “And Sunday lunch” he called back as she waved goodnight.

**********

Toward the end of Sunday lunch, Father Mike became quiet. Susanna waited for what was coming.“When are you calling Urs, Susanna?” he asked as he stirred sugar into his tea.

Someday I must get that man a crystal ball.

“I…I thought I’d call him this week and next time he’s in London we could meet. I need to apologize for running out on him and explain about the bracelet.”

But Susanna had forgotten just who she was dealing with, a clerical Mami. “And what about the rest? He deserves to know all of it Susanna if he truly loves you as you say he does, as he’s shown you. I know you love him.” he released a sigh as if to say ‘you still don’t get it do you?’

His wise blue eyes looked behind her, as though he were looking off into the future, then returned to look at her.
“Trouble is part of life, my dear, and if you don’t share it, you don’t give the person who loves you a fighting chance to to love you enough.”

Rising, he bent and kissed the top of her head.
“I’ll expect a visit from you and Urs one of these days….soon.” his eyes twinkled. ”I’m not getting any younger you know.”

Susanna waved back, “Yes, Father Mike.”

Chapter 112
Urs Gets a Trim

Sunday, February 23 – Portland concert
Seb’s new bedhead hairstyle, no comment, practicing blinks and smiles, huge crowd still amazes me, lady kissed Carlos hand, a bit much for me, tried waving from all parts of the stage tonight, audience really like that, Carlos sister & family here, only left one message today, more than a week with no call, she knows it wasn’t my fault, why doesn’t she call

*************************

The weekend was over. All day Monday Susanna felt as if the Sword of Damocles was suspended above her head. She was the flatterer who, having extolled the happiness of Dionysius, tyrant of Syracuse, was seated at a banquet with a sword suspended over his head by a single hair to show him the perilous nature of that happiness. And well had she learned that lesson…too well.

She knew both Father Mike and Dar were right. She needed to reach out to Urs, but oh that first step was so scary. What would he do when he found out she had more of her past to tell? More she hadn’t shared? Would it be too much?

Yesterday as she drove back from lunch with Father Mike she felt as if she were a character in a fairy tale, Gretel to be exact. Small bits of emotional baggage began dropping out of the empty hole in her heart, leaving a trail home. To what?

*****************

Tuesday, February 25 – Los Angeles concert
Simon in the audience, meet and greet backstage with some fans before the concert, got pink yellow and white roses from fans, Seb had a little trouble with his top note in Rejoice, not many red scarves, one large sign, my line about being two minutes late went over well, large striped underwear thrown on stage at the end, Susanna would have laughed at that.

*****************

As they sat relaxing around the table Tuesday night after the concert, David, Carlos and Seb silently congratulated themselves on persuading Urs to go to dinner with them. At that precise moment Urs was also congratulating himself on his wise decision to be persuaded. This had been fun, just what he needed, a good meal and friendly conversation. He could feel the tension draining from him, being replaced by positive thoughts. When his cell rang, all four men sat up at attention as Urs answered.

There was no pretense not to eavesdrop, as soon as Urs mouthed ‘Dar’. They anxiously watched their friend’s face to let them know the gist of the conversation. His eyebrows raised and the words speeded up, worry lines appeared. When he hung up there was a look of purpose and determination they’d seen before, but not often thank God. It was his single-minded, dig in your heels look he’d acquired when they were first getting to know each other.

They remembered it well; just as they remembered the awkwardness and tension they had endured when working on the first album. It had taken a while for each man to shape his space, fit himself into the puzzle. Just like in a real jigsaw, sometimes extreme pressure and even painful trimming was necessary to align the pieces to fit perfectly. Early on they discovered Urs did not always appreciate being trimmed, especially when he believed he was right.

He sat for a moment, lips pressed together tightly, his jaw muscle twitching, collecting himself. “Darlene called Susanna to apologize for suggesting the bracelet.
She wanted to tell her that it had been her idea not mine…wanted to take the blame.” Urs stated quietly; only his mouth moved.

“That was good of her.” David popped in optimistically.

But Urs didn’t look any happier.

“That’s not it…” Urs mouth was set as he leaned into the table toward the others. “That was a week ago!” he spit out.

‘Oh’ was the silent response around the table.

“But if she knows it wasn’t your fault, then why didn’t…?” asked Seb, thinking out loud.

“I don’t know…” Urs said as he leaned back again, suddenly finding his fingernails needed a thorough inspection.

“Perhaps there’s something more to it,” suggested Carlos, thinking back to the reserved, unassured woman he’d first met at the wedding in Madrid.

‘Darlene said she had a painful flashback to the accident…said it caused her all sorts of anguish!” said Urs in a voice harsh with emotion.

“As I was saying, Urs, at least now you have some facts to go on. It may be she still needs more time to deal with what she’s remembered. It must have been something very traumatic.”

Urs glared at Carlos and wondered when his volatile Spanish friend had suddenly become the voice of reason.

“Look at it this way. She sees the bracelet, all these memories come back, she’s in a meltdown here, buddy, she has to get out of there. Now it’s a week later, she’s starting to get her act together and what does she feel? Embarrassed with a capital E. I think it’s just going to take her awhile till she gets enough guts to call you. You gotta just hang in there.” David ended his little pep talk with a shoulder pat and received a not so glaring look from Urs.

“She will call. I feel it in my bones. After all, Urs, who could resist a SRG ?” Seb decided a light dessert was needed after this heavy meal the other two had rammed down Urs’ throat.

Urs gave his patented head shake-eye roll and an almost SRG smile.

“That went well.” David commented as they paid the bill and left.

***************************

Tuesday night, Sam Roth added his vote, yet again, to both Father Mike and Darlene’s. The third time must have been the charm. Yes, Susanna promised. She would call Urs….tonight.

She clutched her iPod and christened the newly reinstated BB Jr. as she listened to her third ‘just one more before I call’ song. The cell phone was ready beside her, just where she’d placed it after she’d scrolled through all of the unanswered messages from Urs.

Where are you Susanna? Please call. I’m so worried. I love you.

Please Susanna, we need to talk.

I know I’ve hurt you---even though I don’t know what I’ve done. Please tell me.

Let me try to make it up to you.

If I could take back what is hurting you I would.

Then the tone shifted from pleading.

Don’t shut me out! I can’t do this anymore. It’s up to you. Please call me. I still love you.

Then the tears had started.

http://rapidshare.com/files/215205950/I_Have_A_Dream.mp3

I Have a Dream by
Nano Mouskouri

I have a dream that you'll come to me
Just like the sun, like a morning wondrous to see
So let me wake to a golden sun
Cold are our dreams when we wake to no one

So many roads I've stumbled on before
Now I can live no more without you
If only I can find my way to you
There are so many words I long to say to you
I'll bring to you the secrets of my life
Like petals in my hand and you will understand
I'll ask for nothing more my whole life through
If I can find my way to you

Demand of me all that I have to give
And while I live I’ll give it gladly
Command me to deny the world I knew
I'd give it all away if you but asked me to
Surrendering the fragments of my life
I'll follow where you are although the road be far
And if I falter you will see me through
If I can find my way to you

It was time. She picked up the phone and punched in Urs’ number.

Chapter 113
London Calling

Urs shook his head and gave a half-grin as he thought again of Carlos imitation of a Dutch uncle tonight. He pulled off his other boot and set it neatly by the bed. Susanna certainly had her own personal cheerleading section, with David as the co-captain. ‘Well, I guess I have Seb.’ He thought ruefully. ‘SRG!’ he shook his head again with the absurdity of that. Whatever Urs chose to call them, he was never more glad they had been there tonight.

Since the Chicago concert Urs had often thought, no dreamed, of how it would feel if Susanna called. As his brain registered the ring and he saw her name, his gut reaction was bewilderment. It was as if you had taken a clock, removed the time mechanism, and a week later it began to chime the hour. Fantasy or reality? Substance or illusion? Absoluteness or possibility?

“Hello?” Silence. Was she still there?” “Susanna? Are you there?”

“It’s me, Urs.” Susanna said softly, her voice was hesitant and child-like. “I’m…I’msosorry. Please don’thang up. Please! I don’t think I’m brave enough tocall again. I need to tell…. to….” Susanna began sobbing.

“Shhhh It’s OK. I’m here. I won’t hang up. Please talk to me. I’m just glad you finally called me. I was so worried…. Please tell me what happened.” Urs felt weak with relief to hear her voice as he propped himself self up in bed and cradled the phone.

“Oh Urs, I hurt you so much.” Urs could almost hear her tears running down her cheeks as she talked. He blinked quickly as she continued.

“I’m so ashamed for running away like that. Please, please forgive me. I was such a coward, butIcouldn’thelpithonestly.’ Suddenly her words ran together as if her mouth were on a timer and she must finish before the bell.

“I hardly knew what I was doing….” Her voice faded as if she had returned again to that night. Urs clenched the phone and willed her to go on, biting his lip to keep still. He must let her do this, for her, for them.

“The bracelet….Bruce… it came back. I am so, so sorry. You must hate me. It broke my heart to know I wasn’t there for you… You counted on me. I was supposed to be your Foxhole Friend. I promised…” she choked out with a sob.

“Susanna, I don’t hate you, I could never hate you. I would never have given you the bracelet if I had known…but you didn’t share…that was what hurt.” Urs transatlantic sigh was carried right to Susanna’s heart. She shook her head as if to say ‘please, no more pain, my heart is too full already’.

“I know….I know…. I’m the one to blame. I did it to myself.” She dissolved in tears and as she wept Urs raised his teary eyes up and prayed for the right words.

“Susanna…..Susanna listen to me. You did not do this to yourself. You did it to us. I am here. We can work through this. Trust me now. Tell me what happened…tell me all of it.”

Will she do it? Will she at last begin to let go of her pain? Will she finally trust me enough to share without holding anything back?

Urs questions were answered as Susanna began, with his gentle encouragement, to retell the events of that terrible night of the accident.

Her story was told without embellishments or omissions, this would be a single performance with only one chance to get it right. It was performed without apologies or accusations; there had been plenty of those during rehearsals. Several unplanned intermissions had been needed for soothing sounds and words crooned in several languages, accompanied by tears, whimpers, groans, exclamations, curses and maledictions from both sides of the stage.

“Thank you, Urs.” Susanna breathed when it was all over, when no more tears would come.

“For what?” Urs asked, thankful her voice had lost its telltale wobble.

“For listening to me, talking to me, that was more than he ever did. You’ve been there more than anyone else ever was for me. I was hoping….I mean…..I know I can’t expect it but do you think maybe you could still be my friend, even my Foxhole friend? Maybe?” Urs could hardly believe his ears. Still she was undervaluing herself. He just wanted to reach out his arms across the Atlantic and hold her, squeeze the stuffing out of her even!

The silence was impenetrable on both sides of the ocean as they each slowly sifted through their intense emotions and carefully gathered their scattered thoughts.

“I missed you…..so much!” came Susanna said softly.

“There were so many things I wanted to share with you and laugh and talk about with you and you weren’t there. You were on my mind and in my heart all the time. I missed you so much it hurt.” Urs words were controlled, yet underscored with raw emotion.

“You really are my Foxhole friend, aren’t you?” the sincere amazement and certainty in her inflection nearly destroyed Urs’ control.

“You silly, stupid-nosed wombat! I believe in us and the special love we share. Don’t you know by now how crazy in love with you I am? You’re like my insides. I need you to survive. I love you so wery, wery much….. and as for being your Foxhole friend, what ever happened to the Swiss Lover?”

“Oh that too please and Bag Boy and Cookie Monster and my Prince and most of all just Urs, the man I love with all my heart.” From the breathless sound of her voice Urs pictured her dancing around the room.

“You’re dancing aren’t you, Houdini?” Urs could finally laugh.

“Yes, oh yes, Bag Boy! You’re grinning like a Cheshire Cat and your eyes are crinkling shut aren’t they?” Susanna echoed his laughter, as if it were a new skill she had just mastered.

“Well, not quite shut but yes…How I wish I could be there right now! I wish you really were magic. You could tap your magic wand and I’d appear.” Urs voice trailed off…. and he stopped before it voice betrayed him.

“I know Urs. So do I. My favorite place to be is inside your hug. It won’t be too long really.” Susanna forced herself to sound upbeat. Urs needed to feel her strength and support, especially since she’d thrown away their time in Chicago.

“There’s only two more days left in February and you’ll be back home around the 19th of March after Australia.. And……and remember I have Spring Break in March and you promised I could have my picture taken with a real live koala, just like you did and…”

“Slow down, Susanna,! Yes, I remember and yes we’ll go see the koalas.” Urs chuckled into the phone.

She back! Thank Gott! She’s starting to sound like the old Susanna. How wonderful to have her back, to have us back!

“Urs, I forgot to ask about the Tour.” Susanna said in a horrified voice, totally embarrassed. She was not totally embarrassed enough yet to let Urs have a turn speaking however.

“I mean there were so many other things I needed to say and then well I thought about seeing you and vacations and koalas and I missed talking to you so much…… I’ll just hush now and let you talk OK?” said a finally breathless Susanna.

Although she couldn’t see it, she imagined Urs head shake/eye roll as he began to tell her all the things he’d missed sharing since Chicago.

“BB Jr. been sleeping on the other side of the bed.”

“Fuzzy Wuzzy’s been in time out facing the mirror, but I couldn’t give up hearing you before each concert.”

“They’ll be glad.”

“Not as glad as I am.”

“Me too. I love you Bag Boy. I trust you with my life.”

“I love you too, Houdini. Remember together we’re magical.”

Chapter 114
Running

Wednesday morning Susanna ran on an excess of euphoria, excitement, and extra strong coffee. Across the Atlantic, several hours later, Urs simply ran.

He began at the gym for his first non-scowling run in a week; then he showered and dressed and waited.
Just how early was that ‘decent’ hour the others got up at?

When he could stand it no longer, he ran to each of their rooms giving his unique alarm, “Susanna called, Susanna called.” Paul Revere would have been proud. His last run was downstairs to the coffee shop to prepare his sales pitch.

Carlos, Seb and David pulled up chairs, sat down and looked up expectantly at Urs’, ready to hear the details. Then they remembered this was Urs. He gave out details at the speed of Urs, not necessarily the same speed as the rest of the world.

Still from the look on his face, he was either totally besotted and they’d made-up or he’d just received a prize of a one-hour visit to a Harley shop where he could drive away with as many bikes as possible. So they passed the coffee urn and waited.

“Susanna called just after I got back to the room last night. She apologized and we talked and …and things are good between us again….wery good.” Urs’ Carlos-like smile ended his statement with a silent exclamation point as he leaned back in his chair.

“That’s great news, buddy. So does that mean she’ll be meeting you in Australia like you planned?” David beamed happily at Urs.

“Yes, but I can’t remember exactly when. I have all these things flying around in my head right now it’s hard to keep them all straight.” Urs looked embarrassed at this admission of less than excellent organization.

‘But don’t worry. I’ll be focused tonight onstage. I won’t let you down again. You have my word.” Urs said earnestly.

“We know that, Urs. You were starting to get it back together even before Susanna called. Now you won’t have to worry about how she’s doing. We’re happy you’re back together. We all really like her; she’s been through some tough times and so have you, but that’s behind you now.” Carlos nodded at Seb and David as he spoke to show they all agreed.

“That’s good to hear, guys because I kinda need your help here. I want to fly home and surprise her. I think it‘s really important to see each other in person now, after we’ve talked.” Urs started his sales pitch.

“But what about Steve? he said ‘no’ when you asked him, remember?” Seb seemed to have no trouble remembering those lines.

‘Yes, but that was when I wanted to go tearing off just for three days between concerts and I didn’t actually know what was going on. After the concert tonight we have six days before the next one in Adelaide. I really need you to be on my side. What do you say? Will you help me convince Steve?” Urs searched their faces for a ‘yes’ from them.

“You got it, oui, si.” Sealed with high fives all around. Four to one, Steve didn’t stand a chance.

**************

“Now you guarantee it will be there on time? Good, please read that back to me……Yes, That’s correct. And you’ll notify me when it’s delivered? Thank you.” Susanna replaced her credit card in her wallet and grinned.
There’s a first time for everything and this is the perfect time.

Susanna shifted in bed and her laptop slid off her lap onto BB Jr., waking both of them up. She rubbed her eyes and checked her email once again. Yes! Delivery confirmation. She turned her computer off, closed the lid, and set it on the nightstand. With her cell phone in one hand and BB Jr in the other, she scooted down under the covers to dream and wait for Urs to call.

*****************

Urs took a last swallow from the water bottle, screwed the top back on and tossed it in the trash. Sound check had gone well with few technical problems and they’d been sorted out quickly. Maybe he’d even get a few minutes for a nap.

He’d been going non-stop all day what with arranging his flight and getting his personal things sorted to follow on to Australia while he packed the few items he’d need for his surprise visit to Susanna. He could hardly wait to see the expression on her face when he walked in. It was lucky he called Susanna’s principal, Beverly Adams as soon as he’d gotten the green light from Steve. If he was completely honest it was more amber than green, with promises of grievous bodily harm if he wasn’t in Adelaide by Monday.

Urs opened the door and saw red, immediately all thoughts of a nap were blanked out. Two huge vases overflowed with blood red roses. One stood sentinel over his dressing table and the other guarded a small table near the chair. Susanna had sent roses! Dozens and dozens of roses!

Each word on the card was halloed by stars as he blinked rapidly.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
We’re Foxhole friends again,
And I love you.

Susanna

He was laughing, crinkling, and grinning as he punched in her number and recited his version of the poem:

“Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
What would I do
If I didn’t have you?

What a surprise, Houdini! I love you! You’re magical!” The love she heard in his voice sounded even more magical to her.

“So you like them? Were you really surprised? When did you get them?” she asked as she sat up and fluffed BB Jr. onto her lap.

“They’re perfect. I walked in from the soundcheck and there they were, dozens of them all over the room. I was just stunned. I’ve never had flowers from a woman before….I mean not a fan…..from someone I love.” His voice wobbled as he added, “ and your card was so right.”

“It wasn’t too corny?”

“I love corny, remember?”

“Then you’ll love this. Guess how many roses there are?” Urs could almost feel the tickle as her words burbled out and spilled into his ear.

“How many?” Urs played along even as he started counting them.

“Forty-eight! One for every day we’ve been apart until we’re together in Australia.” Her soft voice quavered near the end as she fought her tears.

Urs had to hold the phone away from him for a second as he composed himself. He was fairly poleaxed by her simple truthfulness. She was so open and natural, so full of love and trust. How he wanted to shout into the phone, ‘I’ll be there in one more day. I’m coming home to you soon.’ But he bit his lip, collected himself and trudged on, picturing her smile when she saw him.

“I knew we were meant for each other, Houdini. The King and Queen of Corn….. You just blow me away sometimes….the way you are…I’ve never met anyone like you.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“That’s the best thing in the world, Houdini. I love you.”

“I wanted you to feel my love, right there with you tonight at the concert, Bag Boy. Don’t forget to take Fuzzy Wuzzy out of time out. Now go break a leg.”

Wednesday, February 26 – San Francisco concert
I’m back! Wonderful response tonight, them or me? can’t stop smiling, having trouble sitting still, so much energy from the audience, three standing ovations

“Urs you were really on tonight, buddy. I was worried for a minute at the end there on the stairs. You practically galloped to the bottom. It’s a good thing you put on the brakes or you’d have been in that lady’s lap in the front row. You know, the one holding up the big sign?” David chuckled as his hands drew a sign in the air.

“I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but knowing Susanna is there for me, even if I wasn’t going to see her soon, let’s me put her out of my mind when I’m onstage. It’s as if the assurance that she’ll be there gives my mind permission to put my thoughts of her away for awhile... so I can totally focus on being in the moment onstage. It’s an amazing feeling.” Urs found it difficult to explain, even using his hands to help.

“I’m just happy I don’t need to keep messing up my lines to cheer you up anymore.” Seb joined them, almost keeping a straight face.

“I really do appreciate how you’ve put up with me the past week. Thanks for hanging in there.” Urs said, looking at each one in turn.

“And giving you a swift kick when you needed it.” Carlos boomed, letting Urs know he still wasn’t home free when it came time for some good-natured ribbing.

“And that too.” Urs laughed as he headed back to change clothes. “I’ll see you in Adelaide.” he added with a huge grin as he pointed to them.

“And don’t be late.” he heard over his shoulder. Turning around he gave them ‘the look’ and pointed to himself.

“Oh, sorry, we forgot. Safe trip.” Seb, Carlos, and David walked on smiling. Yes, the old Urs was truly back, Gott sei Dank.

Chapter 115
The Kissing Hand

Larry the Learned knew something was up. He could feel it in his disheveled curls. Miss Nelson was floating. She was acting like Katrina when her mother had forgotten her ADHD meds.

If Susanna had been privy to his thoughts she would have readily agreed. She felt like a happy drunk, floating, intoxicated by Urs’ love and forgiveness. Most of all she had never felt so alive, so aware of everyone and everything around her, how precious it all was and how she’d almost lost it.

************

Ur shifted restlessly in his seat and adjusted the volume on his iPod. Finally he managed to shape himself into an almost comfortable position, grabbed the small pillow savagely and attempted to sleep. What was she doing now? As he drifted off to sleep he willed her to feel him getting nearer and nearer….coming home….to her.

http://rapidshare.com/files/215205949/Home.mp3

From the moment the jumbo jet spilled its contents of people and luggage into the terminal, Urs day was on fast forward. By 8:00 AM he was back at his apartment scurrying around, out to shop, in to repack, laundry, shower, decide what to wear, decide again what to wear, grab something to eat, and finally it was time.

One last look in the mirror reflected an immaculately groomed, stylishly clad, extremely handsome, man with concert curly hair. What is did not show was a man who suddenly felt like he was on his first date….and a blind date at that. Downstairs the cab was waiting.

********************

In the teacher’s lounge at lunch, Susanna was also waiting. Waiting for her merry little band of friends to settle down. She’d just finished telling them she’d sent flowers to Urs.

“Red roses, right? How romantic is that?” sighed Joanne remembering her rose Urs had given her in Dublin.

Susanna silently wondered if she slept with it under her pillow or had plans to have it bronzed.
“When did he get them? Was he surprised? Silly question… of course he was. Skip that. What did he say?” C’mon girl we’re dying here.

“Well, he’d just come back from the soundcheck and he walked in and there they were. It worked out perfectly! I was so worried that he’d somehow miss them. I really was lucky since this is the end of the North American leg.

They’re packing it all up now and heading to Australia. Only 47 days till I see him. Woo Hoo!” The next several minutes were spent in a rather low volume but extremely spirited rendition of ‘Waltzing Mathilda’ followed by ‘Tie Me kangaroo Down Sport’.

“I can just imagine the romantic note you sent pledging your undying love… and promising to jump his bones at the first available opportunity!.”

Marissa scooted back quickly from the table, to avoid Susanna’s swat. When they’d all settled down to a dull roar, it was Susanna’s turn.

“For your information, I do not indulge in bone jumping, flying hugs perhaps, but certainly not bone jumping….at least not on this continent. Now Australia may be quite another matter.” Giggles and blushes arose simultaneously.

“I don’t know about you ladies, but I’ve got to leave or we’ll be late for the computer lab.” Susanna looked pointedly at Joanne.

*******************

Urs had the cab drop him off at the back entrance to the school just as Beverly Adams had suggested. He was 15 minutes early. He kept his fingers crossed that he didn’t run into Susanna’s three musketeer friends and just to be sure he took the long route to the office through another wing of the building. The secretary had been included in the plan, so after checking the teacher’s lounge, she took him there to wait for Beverly Adams the principal.

“Would you like some coffee?” she asked before she left.

“Yes, please. That would be good.”
At least that will give my hands something to do besides play the drums on my leg.



A few minutes later, Beverly arrived.
“Ah, Mr. Buhler, you’re here right on time I see. May I call you Urs?” she smiled a greeting, trying to maintain professional and finding it very difficult.

“Of course, Mrs. Adams. This was so kind of you to arrange this for me.” Urs shook her hand politely and returned her smile, the Buhlerization had begun.

“Now, I’ve volunteered to be the guest reader today in Susanna’s room. I’ll go in and then you will follow. Since you’ve been there before the children know you. I believe you’ve also been on a field trip. Is that right?” Urs could see not much got past her.

“Yes, I went to the zoo with them and also attended the Thanksgiving Program.” Urs recited, almost as if he were one of her pupils.

“Miss Ray, our librarian found the book you requested.” she said as she handed it to Urs.
“We should be going now. She’ll be wondering where I am. Come with me.”

****************

Hallelujah! Guest reader time. Then dismissal. I am beat. I can hardly wait to get home and relax. Tomorrow I am sleeping in for sure. I can’t remember the last time I had a decent night’s rest. I’ve been so upset with the bracelet and then last night I was so excited about surprising Urs and talking to him. I may just not even get dressed all day Saturday.

“Alright, boys and girls. Our read-in is just about over. It’s time to put away the books you were reading and get ready for our guest. Today we have a surprise. Mrs. Adams our principal will be reading to us so let’s be sure to use our best listening manners.”

The door opened and Beverly Adams walked in, and then…
“Mr. Buhler, Mr. Buhler!” Twenty little voices accompanied by an equal number of little bodies swarmed in a wiggling, excited mass of greeting around Harry’s father.

It all happened in a matter of seconds….
Susanna stood on wobbly legs, better hold on to the desk for a minute. Her heart felt like a caged bird, frantically trying to escape, better press my hand there to keep it from flying away. Her lips stretched into a toothpaste ad grin, leave it there, I want everyone to see how happy I am to see him Her wide, deep chocolate brown eyes, filled with unshed tears of joy, yes, my Foxhole friend, I see yours too.
….as she played at Moses parting the waters and found her way to Urs. It fairly made her heart ache she wanted so to wrap her arms around him, to feel the safety of his embrace, to come home to the protective cave of his outstretched arms, but that would have to wait. Instead she took both his hands in hers and greeted him.

“Welcome back, Mr. Buhler. We’ve all missed you, very much.”

“I’m wery happy to be back here again.” Urs said with a thicker than usual accent as his dark amber gold gaze fixed on her.

Still holding one hand, she showed him where to sit, settled the class and chose a spot near the back of the room for herself, where she could take in what had just happened.
Somehow Urs did not seem out of place as he sat in the gaily-painted rocking chair in the middle of the room. His black silk shirt and slacks were worn with an elegant grace born of both birth and practice.

The story he had chosen, The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn., was about a little raccoon that was afraid to go to school. He slowly closed the book and extended his arm. “Let’s pretend you are that little raccoon. Open your hand.”

Around the room, twenty small hands appeared from under blankets, out of laps, and around stuffed animals. He got up and carefully avoiding books, sleeping bags and other toys scattered on the floor, he placed a kiss sticker on each palm and then closed their fingers.

Returning to his chair he continued. “This is a kiss from your family. Now whenever you miss them, put your hand on your heart like this and you can feel their love deep inside. Then just like the little raccoon in the story, you’ll always have your family’s love with you in your kissing hand.”

Keeping his hand over his heart, he sought out the eyes of the young woman sitting quietly at the back of the room. She caught and held his gaze. As her hand slowly touched her heart the tears began.

“Miss Nelson, why are you crying? That was a happy story.” Jessica had wandered back to Susanna as Urs closed the book and was immediately surrounded by several members of his miniature fan club.

She put her arm around her and smiled. “Yes it was Jessica. These are happy tears because the little raccoon will always be able to feel his mother’s love. Sometimes people cry when they’re happy too.” A satisfied Jessica saw a break in the crowd around Urs and went to fill it.

As Urs looked on with pride and love, Susanna the Teacher quieted the class and gave directions for packing up. They didn’t need to be told twice. It was Friday and no one was happier about that than the two grownups in the room.

When the bell rang, the bus children walked out with Susanna while the car riders and walkers went to their assigned teacher.
“I’ll be back in a few minutes. Sorry.” Susanna apologized.

“I’ll be waiting.” Urs blinky-winked.

When she returned, her room was dark. Only the weak winter sun slanted through the blinds at the one tall window making a jagged pattern on the rug. Had Urs gone?

He stepped slowly from the shadow to stand in the light, welcoming her with an outstretched hand. The power to breathe momentarily deserted her. She approached him with a shy, heartfelt smile that took his breath away. With delicate precision she reached for his hand and lifted his palm to her lips. She kissed it slowly, tenderly, a kiss of trust, given as a promise of unwavering support. Then she folded each finger slowly around the kiss.

“Welcome home, Urs.”

Then he took her hand, extending her arm to kiss the tender sensitive inside of her wrist. His lips were as fleeting and gentle as a hummingbird’s feeding from a bud as he covered her palm and fingers. Swiftly he pressed his hand over hers to roll up the kiss-filled flower.

“You are my home, Susanna.”

Chapter 116
Pit Stop

It was Christmas Eve for the two grown-up children. Just as children everywhere, they understood that their excitement must be contained for just a little while longer as they endured this prelude. The smile and knowing look that passed between them said ‘soon’ we will arrive at that most magical time when we will unwrap our present, the gift of ourselves to each other.
Susanna sat sideways in her seat and played with an errant curl as they ran their mouths in a word race. Susanna’s car ran on ‘how’s and ‘why’s. Urs was fueled by heavy accents, ‘wery’s and broad smiles. They each were careful to stay in their lanes and not interrupt, however. After about five minutes Urs made a pit stop, figuratively and literally.

“I hope you don’t mind if we stop at my apartment for a minute. I just dropped all my stuff here, changed and came right to school. I thought if I took my suitcase back to your apartment then I could leave right from there. That way we’d have more time together.” Urs said as he put on the brake and turned off the engine.

“How long do we have?” Susanna thought it was better to deal with that particular elephant in the room sooner rather than later.

“Till Sunday….long enough.” Urs said softly, tracing her cheek gently with the back of his hand.

Urs looked at her anxiously, as she sat quietly for a minute. He needn’t have worried, after all this was his one-of-a-kind Susanna, his Houdini.

“Okkaaaayyyyy. Bag Boy. So basically you fly 5,000 miles for 2 days to have me do your laundry, jump your bones and kiss me senseless.” she quipped.

“That’s about right, Houdini, but not necessarily in that order.” Urs turned the full force of the ‘Buhler glance’ on Susanna.

Susanna thought she heard herself reply, “I love that plan.” but she wasn’t positive due to a sudden case of the thuds. The next thing she knew, Urs came round to open her door.

As they held hands in the elevator, Susanna looked over at Urs. He seemed a little nervous.

Aw! Isn’t that cute. He probably just threw his clothes all over the place and he’s a little embarrassed. He doesn’t want me to see he’s not always Mr. Neat and Tidy. I need to just keep my mouth shut.

Susanna had only seen the apartment very briefly that time Urs had invited her to dinner at Carlos and Gerry’s. At they stood at the door, she tried to picture what it had looked like.

Urs turned the key and opened the door. Susanna went in first. Yes it was what she remembered, the posters, guitars on stands, his two beautiful teak pieces, the neutral sofa and chairs, the balanced arrangement, everything neat and in place. If there was a mess it must be in his bedroom.

Urs hadn’t forgotten his training as he removed his boots and set them by the door, Susanna followed suit.

“Oh, that feels wonderful.” She sat down gratefully on the sofa and wiggled her stockinged toes.

“It’ll only take me a few minutes to throw some clothes in the suitcase. Be right back.” he said with a kiss.

Susanna had just picked up one of the motorcycle magazines lying on the coffee table when Urs called out, “Susanna, could you please come here a minute? I’m having trouble deciding.”

Urs having trouble deciding? That’s a first.

Susanna padded down the hall toward the bedroom door left ajar.

“Urs?”

“In here,” came the reply from behind the door.

Susanna pushed open the door and was immediately transported….to Chicago.

“I was trying to decide where to kiss you first.” Urs explained, delighted that his little ruse had gotten her to the bedroom.

As usual he had overthought the situation. Urs the Undecided suddenly became Urs the Unprepared as Susanna’s hands flew to her face in a silent exclamation ‘OH’ and her feet flew to Urs in a flying hug sending them both tumbling onto the bed. She decided the kiss question for both of them by laying claim to his mouth with a thousand tiny kisses, punctuated with ‘thank you’s’.

“Ok, OK. Ok I surrender.” Urs laughed, feeling as if he’d been attacked by a litter of hungry puppies. Susanna sprang off the bed and grabbed his hand for a tour of the room. The lights were dimmed and there were candles of varying sizes on every flat surface. The bed was turned down and rose petals were sprinkled on the fluffy white pillows. A ceramic wine bucket held a chilled bottle of champagne with two glasses nearby. Over the bed a handwritten sign proclaimed ‘Chicago’.

“It’s perfect, Urs. Thank you for doing this, for bringing me here.” Susanna reached up and gave him a hidden kiss. Suddenly shy, she lowered her gaze as the true significance of his romantic recreation struck her. This was not a mere thoughtful gesture to replace their time in Chicago. It was a sign of his forgiveness, a rite of healing in their relationship, and a symbol of new beginnings in a place they had never pledged their love.

Urs sensed her hesitation. “I’ve put a towel and some things for you in the bathroom. If you’d like…” He walked in and showed her, pleased that he’d thought of everything, towel, washcloth, tooth brush, toothpaste, more candles, a few rose petals, oops…..

Susanna hid a smile behind her hand as Urs dashed to the toilet and lowered the seat, with an embarrassed blush.

“I’ll go open the champagne.” he said as he left, rather quickly.

*****************

Susanna’s soft, sweet smile and the thought of how he had won her trust made it difficult for him to speak, as Urs handed her the champagne.

“To my Foxhole friend,” Susanna made her toast.

“And your Swiss Lover.” added Urs with his sexy smile that made her go weak at the knees.

Ur set their glasses beside the bed and gently drew her to him.
She could feel the warmth of his skin through the silk shirt he wore. There was no awkwardness as they undressed each other slowly and with infinite tenderness, delighting in the way they rediscovered each other’s bodies. As each piece of clothing was removed there was a hesitation, an occasion for new pleasure that inflamed their senses to a slow-burning fire.

The mattress gave a soft sigh as Urs placed Susanna on the bed and joined her. His fingers hovered, tracing her lips, as a smile curved his beautiful mouth and his eyes clouded with passion.

“Tell me how I make you feel.”

“When I’m with you, there is no rest of the world, only you. I’m absolutely certain that this is where I want to be.” Susanna said as her eyes never wavered from his.

“I know,” he said hoarsely. ‘I know. It’s like that for me too. I think it’s been that way from the moment we met. It feels like before then I was marking time, waiting for you.”

“I’m here now Urs. Please love me.”

His kiss was a lingering and sensual tasting of her, as her arms crept up around his neck and she melted into him at the first touch of his lips. And as his hands tightened possessively around her, their divine closeness recreated their universe.

The peace that followed must be like the absolutely stillness in space Susanna thought. With a tiny sigh of pure bliss she turned to look at the pillow beside her, just to be sure. Yes, Urs was there. She hadn’t imagined him.

He was very real and staring back at her, his amber gold eyes now heavy-lidded with contentment. “That was amazing!”

“Amazing,” she seconded with a kiss, as she snuggled into the warm cave made by her real live Bag Boy and pulled the cover over them.

Chapter 117
A Shock or Two

Gradually Susanna’s eyes opened. She carefully lifted her arm from across Urs’ chest and slid out of bed, hesitating a second as he gave a sleepy mumble and rolled over toward the warmth her body had left. She looked at the clock, 3:00, and tiptoed to the bathroom. Several of the small candles throughout the room had guttered so she gently blew all of them out, leaving the room in total darkness. She felt her way back toward her side of the bed and then…

Urs had been dreaming, wonderful warm, sunny dreams. He and Susanna were splashing and playing in the foaming surf on a secluded beach. Suddenly a huge wave crashed into him, knocking him awake. Wait…the wave was yelling something, it sounded like ‘OOOOOOOOWWWWWWW’.

Urs’ eyes flew open in shock. The wave was Susanna, half sitting, half laying on him, holding her foot, moaning “ow, ouch, oooo’ and several other more colorful words he recognized, though definitely not in Susannaese. Was ‘Schiesse’ in her German dictionary he wondered as he carefully lifted her off of him and came round the bed to see what had happened.

Susanna cradled her right foot and rubbed her big toe as she glared as the cause of her misfortune.

“Dummkopf! Looli!” Urs scolded himself as he shoved his weights back under the bed.
“I’m so sorry, Susanna. I must not have pushed them far enough under the bed the last time I used them. Let me see. Are you bleeding?” Urs asked, visibly distressed.

“It’s my big toe. I stubbed it when I tripped on that thing getting back into bed.” she said, allowing Urs to have a look. “It will be OK. It’s not broken, see I can wiggle it.” She held her foot out to demonstrate. Although it seemed to move without a problem, it was a little red so Urs sprang into action.

The next thing he heard was another wail from Susanna as Urs the Ambulance Technician administered first aid by grabbing her foot and plunging it into the empty wine bucket. Of course by now the ice had melted, however the temperature of the water was still well below that of Susanna’s foot.

The treatment did not last long. Obeying Susanna’s shouted instructions; he released her foot from the shocking treatment and quickly wrapped it in a towel. As Susanna briskly rubbed her foot, now completely red up to the ankle due to the treatment, Urs fled to the kitchen to empty the bucket. From Susanna’s departing look he figured the father away Susanna and the bucket were from each other the better.

When he felt it was safe to return he did, bearing a cup of tea and waving a tea towel first, just in case.

“It’s OK, Bag Boy, there’s no sign of frostbite. Come here.” Susanna smiled and patted the bed beside her.

“I thought it would help. You’re supposed to ice down an injury so it won’t swell.” he apologized, looking at her now normal flesh-colored foot and only slightly pink toe.

“Next time let’s just wrap some ice in a towel please. Is that tea for me to drink or are you going to try to dunk my toe in it?” she teased.

A pink-cheeked Urs handed her the tea. “Would you like something to eat? I didn’t have time to get much but there’s some bread and cheese.”

“Bread and cheese sounds delicious.” She said as she nipped his shoulder and kissed the sting away.

“Just wait there. I’ll bring it to you.” Urs motioned for her to stay in bed as he opened a dresser drawer full of neatly folded jeans.

Ur was almost to the bedroom door when she called him back.

“What are you doing Houdini?” he groaned.

“Just checking. Good choice, Bag Boy. You know I can’t resist the ones with buttons.”

Urs bent down with his hands on either side of her as she gave him a thank you kiss. Then he and his almost too tight button fly jeans prowled smugly to the kitchen as he made a mental note to phase out his zippered jeans ASAP.

By the time he’d returned a few minutes later with a plate of cheeses, pickles, butter, and thick slices of bread, Susanna was propped up in bed, with her hands folded waiting: combed, washed, smiling serenely and wearing one of his Harley tee shirts.

His eyes crinkled hello as his face it up. “Looks good on you.”

He propped himself up beside her and they dug into the food on the tray between them. He’d added a small bottle of her favorite red wine and carefully poured them each a glass. What little conversation there was centered around Australia and the cities the tour would go. Susanna was also anxious for anything Urs could tell her about Juliana and Sandy, since she’d never meet them. There weren’t very many leftovers for Urs to return to the kitchen, just a last glass of wine to share. Who knew that receiving therapy of any kind could make you so hungry?

Urs propped himself back into bed and almost before he’d opened his arm to her, Susanna had appeared, wiggling and burrowing close under it with a contented sigh. He kissed her hair and replaced his kiss with a cheek, lost in her sweet Susanna smell.
Her hand lay lightly on his chest, memorizing the solid feel of his muscles and the soft ‘fuzzy wuzzy’ in the middle.

“You’re making me homesick you know.” Urs broke the silence.

“I am? Why?” Susanna sat up and turned toward Urs.

“Well, you see these little curly lines over here,” Urs fingers traced the flame design on his Harley shirt Susanna had on, “they remind me of riding my bike through Glaubenburg Pass.

Susanna gulped, “Oh.” as Urs continued his tour.

“And right about there…where the A is, that definitely resembles Jungfrau. Oh yes, definitely.” Urs looked up wickedly at Susanna to see how she was enjoying his tour. ‘If half-closed eyes and little moans were any indication she was having a delightful trip.’ he chuckled to himself.

The excursion continued, joined by another tour bus of five happy adventurers. Susanna welcomed them with a ragged sigh as they traveled on. Urs outlined the V in Davidson.

“Zermatt at the foot of the Matterhorn, is an ideal spot to take the cable car up….” Urs fingertips demonstrated, “to see the eternal ice at Klein Matterhorn. Hmmm! The temperature seems quite warm in the area, perhaps we need to take off a layer.” Susanna sucked in a sharp breath as his hands skimmed over her removing the shirt and rolling her on top of him.

As Urs ten happy explorers scaled the Matterhorn, Susanna, launched her own journey of exploration beginning with Urs’ mouth. No longer in hungry puppy mode, she practiced her new kissing techniques ala Marissa’s girls-night video. Evidently she’d been paying close attention to the gentle tongue-flicking part because Urs’ explorers came to a full stop mid-mountain. “Where did you learn that?” he pulled back, with rather glazed eyes and unsteady breathing.

“Remember that night you IM’d me and the girls were over watching movies? That night. Marissa picked this one. It was pretty dorky except for this great French kissing scene. Wait there’s more.” And Susanna began to show him.

Urs wasn’t sure he could stand much more but of course he had to allow Susanna her little moment…..or two…..or three…..or…..

By the time her expedition landed at the open port of Urs’ top button, both tour directors had decided it was time to combine forces to better enjoy the glorious sights, sounds, and experiences of the great and loving adventure they had both embarked upon. As the pale February dawn arrived, the farewell stop on Urs and Susanna’s unforgettable pleasure trip was heralded by fireworks sending a rainbow-hued shower of sparks that illuminated their very souls.

Urs and Susanna lay exhausted by their travels, hearts still pounding, with only enough strength left to share soppy grins.

Turning on their sides, Urs curled himself around Susanna and pulled her closer into his chest. His breath tickled her ear as he gently smoothed her hair back and whispered.

“Houdini?”

“Yes, Bag Boy.”

“Are you planning…um any more video nights?”

“Yes, Bag Boy.”

“A… Houdini, how soon?”

“Before Australia, Bag Boy.”

“ Houdini, I love you. You’re magical you know.”

“I know, Bag Boy. You’re pretty magical yourself. I love you too.”

Chapter 118
Just in Case

Someone was talking in a foreign language and Susanna frowned, burrowing deeper into her lovely warm dream, loath to be dragged from sleep. Was that same someone kissing her shoulder? Was that part of the dream?

“Mmmm, good morning, Bag Boy. I thought I was dreaming but it was you. Whatever you were crooning into my ear sounded delicious. What was it?” Susanna scooted up to Urs mouth for a kiss, settled herself in the crook of his arm, and looked up expectantly.

“Well…let me see. It was either ‘Your sparkling eyes twinkle in the sky of my heart’ or ‘We need to get up and get going to your place. I’m starving and there’s no food left.’” He grinned down at her, waiting for her reaction.

“Houdini, what is your foot doing?” Urs squeaked.

“Oh, I’m just seeing how my sore toe feels this morning. It seems to be alright. What do you think?”

“I think we’d better get up. It’s after noon already.” Urs grabbed the cover and started to get out of bed.

“But we haven’t had a shower yet, Bag Boy.” Susanna whined.

“Uh...sorry Houdini, my shower’s a lot smaller than yours. It ‘s too small to…well we could take a shower, just not a fun one.”

Susanna bounded out of bed. “But I did notice a nice tub.”
Before Urs could say bubble bath, he heard the sound of water rushing.

Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly.
And that’s what Urs and Susanna were. They played in the bubbles like children, making each other into Cupie dolls, devils, bearded pirates, whatever ridiculous thing came to mind. Bubbles, beautiful bubbles and laughter floated to all corners of the bathroom.

Then as Susanna lay back against the warm safe haven of Urs chest she basked in the comfort – the inexpressible comfort of feeling totally safe with a person – not having to weigh her thoughts or measure her words, just pouring them all right out, just as they are.

Urs’ arms draped loosely around Susanna She held one hand, caressing, hugging with her cheek, twining fingers, as she started to speak. “Urs, you know I watch a lot of the videos and the interviews too. Right?”

“Mmmm right,” Urs mumbled, totally relaxed.

“And they sometimes ask about girlfriends, right?”

“That’s right, Susanna.” Urs sat up a little, not quite so relaxed.

“Well, I’ve never seen you…. I mean you never seem to say anything when they ask you. Carlos and Seb and David each mention a someone, or they’re in a relationship, but never you.
I kept wondering why.” Susanna turned round to face Urs.

Urs tenderly captured her face between his hands. His gaze studied every inch, as if to commit each feature to memory. Then he gently kissed her mouth as if it were made of precious crystal, able to withstand only the lightest touch. His sentences were punctuated by repeated kisses to every part of her face.

“I love you, my Susanna, with all my heart and soul. I have never felt love like this. You must understand that I do not like to share details of my personal life with the public. I give 100% of my being onstage and in order for me to do that I need my space, my life to be my own, my privacy.”

Urs took a breath as if he were readying himself to sing an aria. “When I didn’t know where you were and then when you didn’t call, Carlos, Seb, and David were there for me. I confided in them and they helped me keep myself together, but even that was difficult for me.” Urs paused a minute and looked away to gather his thoughts.

Susanna’s eyes filled, thinking of the pain she had caused. Softly Urs kissed them saying, “Shhh, no tears. That is past, we’re here now.” Susanna looked up gratefully and gave him a little smile which he returned with a kiss.

“What we have is so special to me that I didn’t want to share it. I wanted to keep it in my heart, just between us. I see now that was selfish of me. I thought I was trying to protect you and you’ve shown how strong you can be.”

“I’m so glad you told me. I thought maybe you were ashamed of me, or someone told you not to say anything and I waited and waited for you to say that there was someone.” Susanna gave Urs a stuffing testing hug around the neck.

Urs could feel tears on his neck. He held her away from him and could see where she had been crying.

She saw his confusion. “No Urs. I’m not sad. These are good tears. I’m crying because I’m happy. I just misunderstood. I should have told you what I was thinking like you said.” Susanna covered his face in puppy dog kisses and as she did she could taste his salty tears.

Then as Susanna looked at Urs he traced her tears with his fingers. “Oh, Urs! What are you doing? No, don’t be sad. It’s OK. Please Urs.”

Urs looked up and smiled. ‘Houdini, I’m your Foxhole friend. I’m just helping you cry.”

Several minutes of happy tears, disintegrating bubbles, and cooling bath water later, two rather pruny, very clean and extremely happy Foxhole friends pulled the plug and stepped out of the tub.

After they dressed, Urs finished packing while Susanna checked his fridge to be sure they’d left nothing in it that would spoil. As they left, Urs locked the door and handed her the key.

“I had an extra one made. I thought you might like to have one just in case.” he said rather shyly.

“In case?”
I don’t remember any live plants to water and he obviously doesn’t have any pets. What is he trying to say here?

“Just in case you run out of room to store cookies at your apartment.”
In other words wouldn’t it be nice if my cookies and I were here to welcome you once in awhile. What a cute way of asking, Urs.

“Of course. Now why didn’t I think of that?”
I can’t think of anywhere my cookies and I would rather be.]/I]

*******************************

True to her prediction, Susanna’s washer was going full force within minutes of their arrival back at her apartment, though honestly most of the clothes were hers.

Although not exactly Old Mother Hubbard, she did need a few things from the shops so she and Urs decided to make a list.

When given a choice, Urs has asked for something Italian. Susanna chose Lasagna.

“It’s the cheese grater isn’t it?”

“Pardon?”

“You’re in love with the cheese grater. That’s why you asked for Italian.”

“That’s silly….Well it is very efficient, ….and ergonomically designed I suppose.”
[I]Oh yes, it was love.]/I]

Urs made certain the list wasn’t too long, having clearly remembered the drenching he’d gotten on their last outing to the shops. They had a good laugh over that on the way there, especially about Urs having to hide in the bathroom until his clothes were dry, and of course Susanna teased about the red undies, now her favorites.

They spent a wonderful, ordinary afternoon and evening, talking, preparing dinner, napping, reading, never out of touching or kissing range, as Urs would say ‘just in case’. Susanna chose Rigoletto, one of her favorites to accompany dinner in their favorite spot in front of the fireplace. And of course Urs got to use his now favorite kitchen gadget.

“Susanna, I want to get you something for Valentine’s Day, I mean anything except you know, the B word.” Susanna could feel his heart pounding as she leaned against him on the sofa.

Susanna laughed, “It’s alright Urs. I’m not going to go bonkers if you say the B word, bracelet. Remember what you said this afternoon? That is past. We’re here now.” Turning her head, she meets his lowered kiss.

“I just thought jewelry would be nice because you could maybe wear it and think of me” he went on, visibly relieved Susanna noticed.

Susanna turned to kneel on the sofa, and looked at that dear, beautiful face she loved. “Urs, you know I don’t need things to help me think of you. The things that count, the things you’ve given me, I wear on my heart. They’ll always be there to remind me of you.” Susanna placed a hidden kiss in the corner of his mouth and went on.

“All the wonderful times we have together, the trips, the ordinary things we did today, words you’ve said, smiles, looks, the way my knees go weak when you kiss me. Those are the real jewels, Urs.”

“Last night you gave me the beautiful part of Chicago that you planned. Tonight it’s my turn. I just need a minute. There’s a CD already to go.” Susanna turned and started toward the bedroom, then came back with a secret smile and whispered in Urs ear.

“Really?”

“It doesn’t need to be too loud, just for me please?”

“You know I can’t refuse, Houdini.”

Urs smiled as he checked the title of the CD and pushed ‘play’.
Then he prowled toward the bedroom where Susanna waited with her gift.

Chapter 119
Finally Perfect

Susanna smiled as she slipped out of her clothes and let the bits of pale pink froth and lace of her pink baby dolls float over her head. Wow! She’d forgotten the bikini bottoms were so bikini. She grinned as she thought of how surprised Urs’ would be when he saw them.

It seemed light years ago since she’d bought them when she and Dar were shopping. First they were for Dublin, scratch that, literally, then Chicago, don’t even go there, and now finally she could wear them. [I]The third time’s the charm and how fitting that is now that Urs and I are back together. I hope he enjoys unwrapping his gift.

Urs was pulling his shirt off just as Susanna came out of the bathroom. As it cleared his head he looked up and there she was. His shirt and his jaw dropped to the floor as he stood stock still his eyes darkening with passion.

All he could think of was a beautiful, angelic pink cloud of cotton candy standing there, sweeter than any chocolate, waiting for him to unwrap, to taste her kisses, to feel her softness, to indulge his passion.

“Do you like your gift? I bought it for Dublin, and then Chicago, but I think now is the right time.” Susanna said softly as she walked over to him.

Urs unswallowed his tongue just in time to answer. “It is the perfect time.”

Susanna smiled a loving, knowing smile. “Listen.” As if on cue, Seb’s voice sang the opening of “Everytime I Look At You”. Urs smiled and waited with barely controlled passion as Susanna’s fingers slowly worked the buttons. Perfectly timed to the song he sang softly, only for Susanna, his magical Houdini, “I close my eyes the moment I surrender to you” …and he did.

Her hands slid his jeans and boxer briefs down over his narrow hips and he stepped out of them . She watched his eyes darken as he licked his lips and trembled with anticipation. Tentatively she touched him with her fingertips. “Tell me if I do this wrong.” she whispered. Biting his lower lip, he just nodded. His breathing became shallower welcoming the embrace of her touch as she explored him. He glanced down to watch her caressing him with such tender care as she curled her hands around him, instinctively stroking.

She smiled shyly and dropped her head to his chest, kissing, nipping, and soothing with her tongue, gently backing him up to the bed until he fell back and she joined him. Her mouth worked lower as she knelt beside him and continued trailing kisses down his stomach and beyond, while his hands moved to her head.

“I want to love you Urs, all of you…”

**********

Then it was time for Urs’ gift. The subtle hints, suggestions, and previews of his beautifully wrapped gift heightened the excitement of the moment in a way he’d never expected. He wasn’t sure if it was because he’d never seen her looking like this or because of their new level of trust and intimacy, but it almost overwhelmed him.

The backs of his hands caressed her face as he gazed at her adoringly. At last, his fingertips chose the perfect place for his kiss as he very slowly lowered his mouth to hers. His kiss was a sensual, intoxicating tasting of the sweetness of her velvet warmth. It was as if he took complete possession of her senses; all that remained was the scent and the taste and the feel of him as she surrendered to his passion.

As his thumbs eased off her bikini, he whispered endearments in praise of her body that Susana could never have imagined coming from anyone’s lips. His eyes, now dark with desire, never left hers as he bent down on one knee and placed a gentle yet possessive kiss on her stomach. Then he stood and lifted the pink lace cloud over her head. As the wrapping slowly disclosed Susanna’s loving gift of herself they listened to another song, and followed its suggestion.

LET’S MAKE LOVE
by Faith Hill

Baby I’ve been drifting away
Dreaming all day
Of holding you
Touching you
The only thing I want to do
Is be with you
As close to you
As I can be
Let’s make love
All night long
Until all our strength is gone
Hold on tight
Just let go
I want to feel you in my soul
Until the sun comes up
Let’s make love
Oh baby

Do you know what you do to me
Everything inside of me
Is wanting you
And needing you
I’m so in love with you
Look in my eyes
Let’s get lost tonight
In each other

Let’s make love
All night long
Until all our strength is gone
Hold on tight
Just let go
I want to feel you I my soul
Until the sun comes up
Let’s make love

Oh baby, let’s make love
All night long
All night long
Let’s make love

Susanna lay back against the pillows and gave herself over to Urs as he kissed the soft curves of her breasts. His tongue outlined the sensitive peaks until she was writhing with longing. She clutched his shoulders, gasping her approval, as he captured the rosy tip between his teeth and drew on it.

His gentle yet insistent hands moved down over the smooth, warm flesh of her stomach, dipped into the dainty hollow of her navel and lower still...

.It was as if his gifted fingers contained all the secrets of loving as they prepared the way for his sweet mouth and nimble tongue. Feeling her response, he lowered his head.

"Urs.” She felt his mouth on her as her fingers clenched the pillow and she heard herself moan.

Urs smiled against her…

**********

He kissed Susanna with a languid gentleness as she lay in the contented circle of his arms. She loved the silence broken only by their heartbeats and breathing as they slowed. She adored the intimate feel of his long hot, damp body entwined with hers. They were at peace.

“Houdini?”

“Yes, Bag Boy.”

“Do I really make your knees turn to jelly when I kiss you?”

“Yes, Bag Boy, you really do.” Urs’ smile was deafening as his chest gave a little chuckle.

“Uh….Houdini?”

“Mmmmm Bag Boy.”

“That little thing you did with your mouth a few minutes ago. Was that from Maris…”

“No. Bag Boy. I just kinda made that up.” Susanna looked up with a devilish grin.

“I’m impressed,” Urs congratulated with raised eyebrows.

“Thank you, Bag Boy,” Susanna said, settling her head under Urs’ chin and closing her eyes with a self-satisfied smile.

*********************************************

It was a short night, proclaimed the alarm clock at 4:30. The two sleepy lovers indulged in just a few more luxurious minutes of whispered cuddling as the coffee brewed. Then bounded out of bed, Urs to the shower and Susanna to the kitchen. Morning coffee and a minty kiss were waiting when he stepped out.

“I almost got lost in there this morning. I needed you to come find me,” he whined.

“Oh no, I’m not going to have my head handed to me on a plate by Steve when I get to Sydney because I delayed the SRG. Muz didn’t raise any fools.” Susanna scolded.

“Besides, I’ll see you in a week and who knows what I’ll invent by then?” she teased as she gave his butt a little pat and went to get dressed herself.

“I don’t know if I should be happy or frightened, Houdini.” Urs zinged back into the bedroom.

********************************

As they lay in bed this morning they had talked about Urs’ leaving. It had never felt like this before….going on Tour suddenly looked more like walking towards each other, the light at the end of the tunnel, rather than an ominous black hole sucking them apart. Now they knew it would never be as bad as before. They had almost lost each other but their determination, strength and honesty had overcome their fears and helped to heal the hurts.

Susanna thought it was because her demons, real and perceived had been outed and dealt with together, as Foxhole friends, as lovers, as forgivers. Urs also admitted that seeking and accepting help more readily from his friends did not need to be done at the expense of his privacy. And one thing they both agreed on was a loving relationship must be a union of two forgivers.

********************************

Then it was time. The last passionate kiss was over, the last hug and caress learned by heart. Susanna had packed a cookie carryon of course and waited in the hall as Urs brought out his suitcase from the bedroom and locked the door.

The pre-dawn Sunday traffic was practically non-existent till they neared the airport and even then it was light. Urs gave her the best kiss he could manage in the front seat of the tiny roadster; they exchanged Kissing Hands and got out. He closed the trunk and set the suitcase on the curb. Their mouths met at the open window for ‘just one more’ kiss, hidden in the corner, waiting to be awakened in Australia.

“Suzy loves Sydney, Houdini.”

“Seven days away, Bag Boy.”

*******************************************

Urs felt a little lonely as he settled into his first class seat. The last time all four of them were together on the flight….the very long flight. Ah…cruising altitude, cookie time, then maybe a little nap, smiling at all the good reasons he was tired. I wonder what kind she gave me. Maybe an assortment if I’m lucky.

Urs long fingers inventoried the cookie selections: chocolate chip, ginger crinkles, a few rum balls, and it looks like oatmeal raisin on the bottom.
But why did she put a plastic bag at the bottom? She’s never done that before.

Urs pulled on the corner of the plastic bag and lifted it out. There was a small, lumpy, square object wrapped in layers of white tissue paper along with a note.

Urs read the note first.

My Urs,
You are my lodestar, my bright and ultimate North. My personal compass. I love you with all my heart.
Your Susanna

He gently unwrapped the tissue paper with the tips of his fingers to reveal a tiny silver compass on a long thin chain. With misty eyes and tender fingers he lovingly put it over his head and tucked it into his shirt where it nestled safe and protected over his heart.

***************************************

Susanna made it back to the apartment with a good two hours of sleep time left before church. She was a woman on a mission, one last snuggle, soaking in the wonderful Urs’ fragrance from his shampoo and cologne before he was temporarily replaced by BB Jr.

As she made a beeline for the bed she saw it, on her pillow. A smallish brown volume, tied with a pink ribbon and a note between. What a sweetie! He must have hidden it in his suitcase and taken it out when she left the bedroom.

She sat down heavily on the bed, untied the ribbon and opened the note.

Dearest Susanna,
This is one of my favorite poets.
I wanted to share a little bit of me in German.
Don’t worry, there is a translation.
Turn to page 5. It is about you, my brave Susanna.
Ich liebe dich,
Urs

Susanna opened the small brown leather bound book to page 5 and read:

Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.

--Rainer Maria Rilke

If there had ever been a doubt in her mind it was forever gone. There could be only one person in the world who understood her perfectly and that was Urs.