~ LOVE IS BLIND ~

***** CHAPTER 90 *****

Urs had got changed in record time, given the suit back to Mel and then gone straight back to their hotel. He expected Tyler to be with Kristina but as he entered the hotel, he saw Tyler sitting at the bar. He quickly walked past the bar and headed f䁯r the elevator before Tyler noticed him. He couldn’t help wondering why Tyler wasn’t with Kristina, surely he hadn’t left her on her own.

As Urs stepped out of the elevator, he saw a man coming from Kristina’s room. Urs noticed he had bag and assumed he was a doctor, so he quickly hurried down the hall way.

Urs reached Kristina’s room, just as the door was about to be closed.

“Wait!” Urs called out.

The door opened and Abigail appeared.

“Was that the doctor?” Urs asked. “What did he say? Is Krissy alright?”

“Urs, will you be quiet?” Abigail replied. “Kristina’s trying to get some rest before we all leave for the airport. And yes, that was the doctor.”

“I’m sorry.” Urs said, lowering his voice. “I’m just worried about her.”

“There’s no need to be.” Abigail said, ushering him inside.

“What did he say?” Urs asked, again. “Is she alright?”

Abigail and Urs sat down.

“She has a slight fever and still feels sick, nothing serious.” Abigail replied. “He’s not certain what it is but he thinks it might be food poisoning. Though given her history he wants her to see a doctor as soon as we get back to London.”

“And he didn’t say anything else?” Urs asked.

“No, why?” Abigail said, curiously. “What were you expecting him to say?”

“Nothing.” Urs said, casually. He wondered if Kristina had told Abigail about her suspicions, that her kidney might be failing. “I thought Tyler might be here.” Urs added, changing the subject.

“No, Kristina said she didn’t want to see him.” Abigail said, frowning. “She wouldn’t tell me why.”

“Can I see her?” he asked, getting to his feet.

“Urs, she’s sleeping.” Abigail said. “She really needs to get some rest.”

“Please, I won’t wake her.” Urs pleaded. “I just want to see her.”

“Okay.” Abigail agreed. “But as long as you’re quiet.”

“Thanks, Abigail.” Urs said, smiling, before turning and making his way to Kristina’s room.

Urs quietly opened the door and peered in to the room. Kristina was awake. She heard the door open and rolled over, expecting to see Abigail. Urs noticed a smile appear on her face when she saw him. It was a small smile but definitely there.

“Did I wake you?” Urs whispered, after closing the door.

“No, I can’t sleep.” Kristina said, faintly. “Every time I close my eyes, I feel sick again.”

“Did you want me to leave?” Urs asked.

“No, you don’t have to go.” Kristina said.

“Abigail only let me come in here because she thought you were sleeping.” Urs replied. “If she knows you’re awake, she’ll probably throw me out.” Urs said, quietly laughing.

“Well, we’ll just have to be quiet.” Kristina said, smiling. “My sister has unbelievably good hearing.”

“So are you feeling any better?” Urs asked, as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Not really.” Kristina replied. “I can’t wait to get home and sleep in my own bed. I feel as if I could sleep for a week.”

“Abigail told me what the doctor said.” Urs said, looking at Kristina. “He seems to think it might be food poisoning.”

Kristina nodded.

“But I don’t think it is.” she replied. “I haven’t eaten much these last two days and when I have eaten, I’ve had the same as Tyler but he seems okay.”

“Have you said anything to Abigail or Tyler?” Urs asked. “About… what you think might be wrong with you?”

“I haven’t said a word.” Kristina said quietly. “I might be worrying about nothing. I don‘t want to say anything unless I have to.”

“Well, you know you can always talk to me.” Urs said, smiling.

Kristina noticed a strange look on Urs’ face, he looked deep in thought.

“What’s on your mind, Urs?” Kristina asked.

“Why do you ask?” Urs said, looking at Kristina.

“You’ve just got that look on your face.” Kristina replied. “I can tell that you want to say something.”

“It was something your sister said, about Tyler.” Urs replied. “When I got here, I thought I was going to have to break down the door to see you. I didn’t think Tyler would let me anywhere near you but then I saw him in the bar. When I asked Abigail about it, she told me that you didn’t want to see him.”

“That’s because I’ll know he will ask about Stephanie.” Kristina replied. “He’ll want to know who she is and how I know her. I don’t want to go over all that again, not right now. Besides, there’s no need for him to know. I haven‘t even told David what she did to me.”

“Well, we’ll be going home later.” Urs said, reassuringly. “I think we’ve seen the last of her.”

“Have you told Saskia about Stephanie?” Kristina asked.

“No. Like you said, there’s no need.” Urs replied, shaking his head. “This all happened long before I met Saskia, it’s best forgotten.”

“I was hoping you would come.” Kristina said, a little hesitantly, after the two of them had been sitting in silence for a minute or two.

“You were?” Urs replied, genuinely surprised.

“Did you mean what you said, about coming with me to the doctors on Wednesday?” Kristina said, faintly. “If you’ve made other plans or you’ve changed your mind, it doesn’t matter.”

“Krissy…” Urs said, taking her hand in his and lightly rubbing his thumb over the back of it. “I said I would and I will.”

“Thanks Urs.” Kristina said, with a small sigh of relief. “I’ve always hated going to the doctors, especially on my own.”

“Krissy, if you are ill…” Urs paused for a moment. “I… I want you to know that I‘ll be with you every step of the way.”

“Urs, I appreciate your concern, really I do.” Kristina said, lowering her eyes to her hand, which Urs was still holding. “But this time next week, I’ll be in New York… with Tyler.”

“So don’t go.” Urs said softly, as he smiled at Kristina. “Stay in London… stay with me.”

“Somehow I don’t think Saskia would be too pleased.” Kristina said, jokingly.

Kristina then noticed the smile disappear from Urs’ face.

“I’m sorry.” Kristina said, before biting her lip. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, it’s okay.” Urs said, lowering his eyes. “It’s… it’s just that I…”

“Urs, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Kristina said, quietly.

“No, I want to.” Urs replied. “It concerns you. I’ve thought about it a lot just recently, ever since we kissed in the elevator and I…”

“Actually Urs, I don’t think I want to hear this.” Kristina interrupted.

“No, you have to listen.” Urs said, looking at Kristina. “You have to know that… that I’ve decided to end the relationship with Saskia.”

“But why?” Kristina asked, shocked.

“I would’ve thought that was obvious, Krissy.” Urs replied. “It’s not fair on Saskia. You‘re on my mind all the time.”

“But I thought you loved her.” Kristina said, still shocked.

“I do but I have to be honest with my feelings.” Urs replied. “And right now, my heart is telling me that I have to be with you. We have something special, Krissy. Surely you know that by now.”

Kristina was speechless.

“Krissy… say something.” Urs said, faintly, when she hadn‘t replied.

Kristina looked at Urs.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Kristina replied, pulling her hand away.

“Tell me that you’ll stay in London.” Urs pleaded. “You don’t have to leave.”

“Have you told Saskia that it‘s over?” Kristina asked, changing the subject.

“No, not yet.” Urs replied, guiltily. “I thought it would be best if I waited until we got back to London. I know I should’ve told Saskia first but I couldn’t wait. I want you to see how serious I am about our relationship.”

“We don’t have a relationship, Urs.” Kristina interrupted.

“We could do.” Urs said, hopefully, taking hold of her hand again.

“It wouldn’t work, Urs.” Kristina replied. “Too much has happened. Things have changed.”

“But it’s nothing we couldn’t work through.” Urs replied. “Won’t you even give it a try?”

Kristina was so tempted to say yes. Urs would be single again and they could be together. This is what Kristina had wanted for so long. She had been heartbroken when they met again in London several weeks ago, only for her to discover he had a girlfriend. But what about Tyler? He had been so understanding and patient with her. Tyler had shown nothing but kindness and although she was in love with Urs, Tyler was becoming someone special to her. Could she really give all that up, to start a relationship with Urs, who was merely attracted to her because she reminded him of Aimee?

“Urs… who’s Aimee?” Kristina said, suddenly.

“Aimee?” Urs said, letting go of Kristina’s hand. “I… how do you know about Aimee?”

“Who is she?” Kristina asked, again. “Please tell me.”

Marius had told Kristina a little but about Aimee but she needed to hear it from Urs. She had to know if Urs was over Aimee, or if he still loved her.

Urs turned away from Kristina and rested his elbows on his knees.

“Aimee was my girlfriend, in Paris.” Urs said, quietly.

“Were you in love with her?” Kristina asked, not taking her eyes off Urs for a second.

“Yes, I was in love with her.” Urs replied, a faint smile appearing on his face as he memories of him and Aimee together, came back to him.

“Are you ‘still’ in love with her?” Kristina asked, noticing the smile on his face.

“A small part of me is.” Urs said, truthfully. “I’ll never forget her. We had a lot of great times together.”

“What happened?” Kristina asked.

“She died in a car accident.” Urs said, weakly, closing his eyes. “I was driving.”

“I’m sorry, Urs.” Kristina said, quietly as she gently rested her hand on his shoulder. She knew it would be painful for Urs and she hated having to bring up the subject but she had to know for certain.

“What was she like?” Kristina asked, hesitantly.

“She was beautiful.” Urs replied. “She had the most gorgeous eyes, that sparkled when she smiled. Yours do the same.” Urs added, as he turned and looked Kristina. “Your eyes sparkle when you laugh or smile. I think you two would‘ve got on great together. You two are so alike in many ways.”

“What did she look like, Urs?” Kristina said, quietly.

Urs was about to reply when Abigail walked in.

“I thought I could hear talking.” Abigail said, walking towards Urs. “Come on you, out.”

“Okay, okay, I’m leaving.” Urs said, standing up.

“It’s alright, Abigail.” Kristina said, sitting up. “We were only talking.”

“It’s okay, Krissy.” Urs said, bending down and kissing her lightly on the cheek. “I should go.”

“Let Urs stay a little longer, please.” Kristina pleaded. She wanted to know what Urs’ response would be.

“No, Kristina.” Abigail said, firmly. “You heard what the doctor said. Lots of rest.”

“Geez Abigail, you‘re worse than mom.” Kristina said, flopping back on the bed.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.” Abigail replied, smirking. “Now get some rest or I might just call mom.”

Urs quietly chuckled to himself, at seeing the two sisters acting this way in front of him. It reminded him of his three sisters back home, in Switzerland.

“And I don’t know what you’re laughing at.” Abigail said, playfully pushing him towards the door. “You’re just as bad. You said you wouldn’t wake her up.”

“But I didn’t!” Urs protested, as he opened the door. “Krissy was already awake.”

“You expect me to believe that?” Abigail said, before looking at her sister and winking.

“Krissy tell her.” Urs said, before Abigail closed the door after them.

Kristina rolled over onto her side, and pulled the bedcovers up over her. She could still hear Urs protesting his innocence and couldn’t help smiling to herself. But that smile soon disappeared. She wanted to know what Urs’ answer would’ve been. Or perhaps he had already given it to her. ‘You two are so alike in many ways.’ What was she thinking? There was no way she could think about a relationship with Urs. Marius and Stephanie had been right.

***** CHAPTER 91 *****

“Thanks for letting me use your shower.” Stephanie said, as she emerged from Saskia and Urs’ room. “And for letting me borrow this dress, it’s a perfect fit.”

“That’s alright.” Saskia replied. “I couldn’t let you go back to your hotel in a taxi, not in that state.”

“Well, thanks anyway.” Stephanie said, as she sat down in one of the arm chairs.

“Can I get you anything to drink?” Saskia asked.

“Water will be fine for me, thank you.” Stephanie replied.

Saskia poured out two glasses of water and handed one to Stephanie.

“Can I ask you what you meant earlier?” Saskia asked, as she sat down in the arm chair opposite Stephanie. “You said Kristina had Urs wrapped around her finger, what did you mean by that?”

“Ugh, that woman.” Stephanie said, her eyes narrowing, a look of distaste on her face. “If it wasn’t for her, things would’ve worked out differently between me and Urs.”

“You and Urs… dated?” Saskia asked, taken aback. Saskia couldn’t deny that Stephanie looked good for her age but she was surprised to hear that Urs had dated an older woman.

“We’d been out lots of times, just the two of us, but as friends.” Stephanie replied. “We used to work together and we had known each other a long time, before we went out on our first official date.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened?” Saskia said, a little warily.

“Kristina. That‘s what went wrong.” Stephanie replied, abruptly. “We had been getting on brilliantly, until I asked Urs if he would accompany me to the Tony Awards. That’s when things started going pear shaped. I was introduced to David at the awards and he was seeing Kristina, that’s how we met her.”

“Yes, I heard those two used to be an item.” Saskia replied. “Do you know why they broke up?”

“I don’t know for certain but I wouldn’t be surprised if David found out about her and Urs.” Stephanie replied.

“They were having an affair?” Saskia asked, a little shocked.

“Oh they both deny it.” Stephanie answered. “Even to this day, they still deny anything happened between them. All I know is that after leaving the Tony Awards that night, I didn’t think I would ever see her again. But Urs couldn’t stop thinking about her, always talking about her. Next I thing I knew, she shows up in Paris and stays with Urs for the night.”

“But how do you know that anything happened?” Saskia asked. “Maybe they’re telling the truth.” There were a lot of questions that Saskia wanted to ask. The more and more she heard about Kristina, the more she was starting to wonder if there were something going on between them now.

“I’m absolutely positive they’re lying.” Stephanie replied. “The night she stayed in Paris, I showed up at Urs’ place. I had seen him, Marius and Kristina all arrive earlier in the evening. I waited for them to leave so that I could speak to Urs alone but she never left. I had a bit too much to drink and ended up going to see him. She was asleep on the couch when I got there. He said she was in Paris to see a client, I still don’t know why she had to stay there, instead of a hotel. But anyway, he said I could stay in his room because I’d had too much to drink, Kristina would stay in the spare room and he would sleep on the couch. After we went to bed, I could hear talking coming from her room, so I went to have a listen. I heard Kristina tell him that she loved him. That’s when I heard him tell her the same thing, that he loved her too. I went straight back to bed but in the morning, when I went downstairs, I couldn‘t find Urs and it didn‘t look as if anyone had slept on the couch.”

“So where was he?” Saskia asked. “With her?”

“Got it in one.” Stephanie replied. “I went in to the spare room to find him sitting on the side of the bed, with their arms around each other.”

“But he wasn’t actually in the bed.” Saskia said. “I mean… he could’ve woken up and just gone to see her.”

“Do you really believe that?” Stephanie asked.

Saskia frowned at the thought. If it was true, if they had slept together, why did Urs lie? She knew that what ever happened between Kristina and Urs, before they met, was none of her business but why would he lie? Perhaps Stephanie had got it all wrong? But there was no way Saskia could ask Urs about it.

“Forgive me for asking such a personal question…” Stephanie said, lowering her voice. “…but… how is your relationship with Urs?”

“It could be better.” Saskia said, sighing, as she leant back in the chair. “It could be ‘a lot’ better.”

“Kristina?” Stephanie asked.

Saskia nodded.

“Things did seem to change when she first came on the scene.” Saskia replied. “At first, all those two seemed to do was argue. That’s when I found out that they had a history. But then they seemed to start getting along pretty well; too well, in fact. Urs has admitted to kissing her, twice, and he’s told me that he loves both me and Kristina.”

“See, she’s nothing but trouble.” Stephanie replied. “You need to keep her away from Urs.”

“That won’t be a problem.” Saskia commented. “She’s seeing some guy, Tyler, his dad runs the company that’s promoting Il Divo. She‘s moving to New York with him next week, so no more Kristina.”

“I meant you need to get her out of the picture permanently.” Stephanie replied. “Who’s to say she won’t show up on your doorstep a few months down the line, when it doesn’t work out with Tyler.”

“What do you mean, permanently?” Saskia asked.

“I mean, just give her a friendly warning to stay away from Urs.” Stephanie replied. “If she see’s how serious you are about Urs, maybe she will think twice about coming anywhere near the two of you.”

“Maybe.” Saskia replied. “But I’ve already spoken to her twice and she doesn’t seem at all bothered. She just denies that anything’s going on and that she doesn’t love Urs.”

“Did you want me to have a word with her?” Stephanie asked.

“Thanks but I think it’s best if we just left things for the moment.” Saskia replied, shaking her head. “I don’t want to make the situation any worse than it already is.”

“That’s okay.” Stephanie said, smiling. “But if you need any help, just ask.”

“Stephanie…there’s one thing I don’t understand.” Saskia said, leaning forward in her chair. “If they both loved each other, why didn’t they ever get together? Urs told me that they didn‘t even date one another.”

“I’ve no idea.” Stephanie replied, shrugging her shoulders. “I think she just gets off on playing with people’s emotions. She loves the attention. That time she stayed over in Paris, she fell down the stairs and then told Urs that I pushed her. After that Urs never wanted to see me again.”

“She did that?” Saskia said, shocked. “She actually threw herself down the stairs just to get Urs’ attention?”

“I told you she’s nothing but trouble.” Stephanie replied. “And I wouldn’t be surprised if her being ill now is all another big act.”

“You think she’s lying?” Saskia asked, frowning. “But why?”

“Why not?” Stephanie replied. “Who was with her today when she was sick? Urs. Who was with her last night when she sick? Urs.”

“Hang on, last night?” Saskia interrupted. “When she was sick?”

“You didn’t know?” Stephanie said, raising her eyebrows. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, please.” Saskia replied, worried. “I need to know. What hasn’t Urs told me?”

“Well, I was taking a walk late last night, I went up to the castle.” Stephanie said, casually. “I didn’t realise who it was at the time but as I got closer I realised it was Kristina and Urs. They were sitting on the wall, holding hands; then I saw them holding each other. I’m not sure if she stumbled but it looked as if she passed out. A short time after that, he started walking back with her, that’s when I started to make my way down the hill. I don’t know what happened to them after that.”

Saskia was silent. What if Urs had gone back with Kristina to her room? What if he hadn’t stayed with Julianna? Was she covering for him?

“I’m sorry.” Stephanie said, frowning. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Saskia replied. “I should be getting used to Urs deceiving me by now.”

“Maybe I should go.” Stephanie said, getting up from her chair. “I really should be getting back to my hotel. I’m meeting friends later. Thanks for everything you‘ve done.”

“That’s okay.” Saskia replied, following her to the door. “I’m just glad to help out.”

Stephanie said goodbye and left Saskia and Urs’ room.

Although Urs was somewhat disappointed that Abigail had made him leave Kristina’s room, he still had the smug feeling of contentment that Kristina had seen him but wasn’t willing to see Tyler. He understood why she hadn’t wanted to speak to Tyler, too many questions and too many painful memories for her. But as he made his way back to his and Saskia‘s room, he couldn’t help hiding the huge smile on his face. He was able to speak to her, to make sure she was okay and knowing that the doctor didn‘t seem to think it was anything serious put his mind a rest a little. But he was still worried about her, he couldn‘t help it.

Urs hoped that Kristina would give some genuine consideration about not moving to New York and staying with him in London. She seemed surprised when he told her that he was going to end the relationship with Saskia. Did she think that he wasn’t serious about his feelings for her? Could him being with Saskia, be the reason why she hadn’t told him how she felt? He knew she loved him, he was sure of it. But it had never crossed his mind that she might not want to tell him how she felt, while he was seeing Saskia. Urs hadn’t forgotten that Kristina was still dating Tyler, but he didn’t let it faze him. No matter what Kristina said, they had a bond that was stronger than her and Tyler’s relatively new relationship. He could feel it when they touched, and sometimes he would catch glimpses of her watching him, he had seen the way she had looked at him, it was the same way he had looked at her, with love. And after spending the night with her in his arms, he knew that they should be together, it felt so right, so natural to be waking up beside her, and he was sure she felt the same way. Perhaps now, Kristina would think seriously about what he had told her. Maybe she would start having doubts about moving to New York.

Urs then started to wonder how Kristina knew about Aimee. He certainly hadn’t told her anything about Aimee and as far as he knew, Julianna and Kristina hadn’t spoken to each other unless it was work related. But then Julianna wouldn’t mention Aimee to Kristina, there was no reason for her to. As Urs rounded the corner he saw Stephanie coming from the direction of their room. Stephanie? Could she be the one that had told Kristina about Aimee? It had to be her; why else would Kristina suddenly start asking questions? But what possible reason would Stephanie have to tell Kristina about Aimee?

“I was really hoping I’d seen the last of you.” Urs said, as Stephanie approached him.

“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, Urs.” Stephanie replied, smiling sweetly at him. “But Saskia kindly let me use your shower and then let me borrow one of her dresses.”

“So does that mean you’re leaving now?” Urs asked. “And we won’t ever have to see you again?”

“I can’t promise anything.” Stephanie replied, sighing. “But I do I have to return this dress to Saskia.”

“Keep it.” Urs said abruptly. “I’ll buy her another one.”

“Oh but Urs, after seeing all these familiar faces, I feel like catching up with a few friends.” Stephanie replied. “And I really should pay Kristina another visit, we didn’t really get a chance to talk before and she didn‘t look too good.”

“There’s no need for you to see Krissy, she has nothing to say to you.” Urs replied, sternly. “And she’ll be just fine, as long as you stay away from her.”

“But she really didn‘t look well.” Stephanie said, giving Urs another sickeningly sweet smile. “I really should check she’s okay.”

“You stay the hell away from her.” Urs hissed, his eyes blazing. “Do you seriously think I’m going to let you anywhere near her, after what you did to her?”

“It was an accident, Urs.” Stephanie said, calmly.

Urs grabbed Stephanie’s wrists and roughly backed her up against the wall.

“You and I both know it wasn’t an accident, you told me so yourself.” Urs spat. “I swear, Stephanie, if you lay one finger on Krissy, I’ll…I‘ll…”

“You’ll what, Urs?” Stephanie asked, staring at him. “Go on, tell me, I’d like to know. What would you do? Kill me?”

“You’re not worth it.” Urs replied, laughing, as he shook his head. “I might hate you but I wouldn’t waste anymore time on you.”

“I bet you would if Kristina asked you to.” Stephanie said, coolly. “You’ll do anything for your precious Kristina.”

Urs stopped laughing and Stephanie noticed the muscles in his face tighten.

“You’re still in love with her, aren’t you?” Stephanie said, sneering. “After all these years and you’re still in love with her. What is it about her, Urs? She’s done nothing but lead you on and yet you still follow her around like some lost puppy. It’s like she has some kind of hold over you.”

“It’s called love, Stephanie.” Urs replied. “Something that a cold hearted woman like you, will never experience.”

“I’ve experienced love, Urs, just like you.” Stephanie said, lowering her voice. “Unrequited love. If you say you love Kristina, then you must know how I feel. You must know what it’s like to wake up every morning, and the first thing you think of is that person, to go bed at night and dream of them. To go through each day, knowing that they don’t feel the same way, having to smile and pretend that everything is alright when you‘re hurting inside.”

“Krissy loves me.” Urs replied. “It’s not unrequited love.”

“So why isn’t she with you?” Stephanie asked. “Why aren’t the two of you together? why is she moving to New York with another man?”

Urs didn’t reply, he was wondering just what Saskia had told Stephanie.

“We shared one night together, Urs.” Stephanie continued. “Surely that must have meant something to you. It meant everything to me.”

“Well, it didn’t mean a thing to me.” Urs replied, coldly.

“You’re lying. You don’t mean that.” Stephanie said, frowning. “I mean… we went out on a date, a proper date, you asked me out. You made the first move; I didn’t force you in to anything.”

“You want the truth, Stephanie?” Urs replied. “I’ll tell you the truth. There was never anything between us; to me it was just sex. You were badgering me in to dating again and I finally gave in. But I spent that whole evening thinking about Krissy and when I slept with you I….”

Urs suddenly stopped himself before he said too much. But Stephanie had already guessed what he was about to say.

“You made love to me… wishing it was Kristina instead?” Stephanie said slowly. “The only reason you took me to bed was because you couldn’t stop thinking about her?”

Urs didn’t reply but his silence only confirmed his guilt. Stephanie pulled herself free from Urs’ grip and pushed him away.

“I didn’t realise you could be so cruel, Urs.” Stephanie said, angrily. “I thought you had genuine feelings for me.”

“I might have done at one time.” Urs replied. “It was never love but I did care for you. But I don’t feel anything for you anymore, not after what you did.”

“Why do you have to keep mentioning that?” Stephanie snapped. “Can‘t we just talk about you and me for one minute?”

“There is no you and me, Stephanie, wake up!” Urs said, raising his voice.

“Why can’t we just forgive and forget?” Stephanie asked. “I know it was an awful thing to do but I was hurt and confused. We could give it another go.”

“You’re insane, Stephanie.” Urs said, shaking his head. “Don’t you realise what you did? You pushed her down the stairs, you could’ve killed her and you seriously expect me to forget that?”

“But I love you, Urs.” Stephanie replied. “I would do anything for you.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t love you.” Urs replied. “Nothing will change that.”

Stephanie turned and walked towards the elevator.

“Are you sure about that?” Stephanie asked.

“What do you mean?” Urs asked.

“Are you sure I can’t change your mind?” Stephanie said, as she stepped in to the elevator.

“Never.” Urs replied, adamantly. “I can’t change how I feel about you or Krissy.”

“Well give Kristina my regards and tell her to take care.” Stephanie said, just as the doors started to close. “Because accidents happen all the time… and when you least expect it.”

Urs made a dash for the elevator door, but he was too late, the doors had closed. What was Stephanie going to do? Surely she wouldn’t be so stupid as to go after Kristina? Urs thumped his fist on the wall. Things were going from bad to worse.

After the doors had closed on the elevator, Stephanie took out her mobile and hit speed dial.

“Hello?” said a man’s voice.

“It’s me, Stephanie.” she replied.

“Well, how did it go?”

“Perfect. I saw Kristina and not surprisingly she wasn’t too pleased to see me.”

The man laughed.

“Did you tell her about Aimee?”

“Yes, I said they looked alike. You should’ve seen the look on her face.” she replied.

“What I’d do to see that look again.” he laughed. “So do you think she’ll leave him alone?”

“I’m not sure.” Stephanie answered. “But I have good news. Apparently she’s moving to New York next week. Permanently.”

“That’s great.” he replied. “So now all you have to worry about is Saskia.”

“Yep, but I think it won’t be long before that relationship’s over too.” Stephanie replied. “It seems Urs has been lying to her and he’s been seeing Kristina behind her back.”

“This day just gets better and better.” he said laughing. “But I have to go now. Give me a call when you have some more news.”

“Okay, will do.” Stephanie replied. “Bye Marius.”

***** CHAPTER 92 *****

Urs had thought about taking the stairs and chasing after Stephanie but had second thoughts. What would he do if he did catch her? He doubted that anything he said to her would change her feelings towards Kristina. They would probably end up causing a scene and that was the last thing he wanted. It might only make Stephanie more angry and he didn’t want that to happen, especially after she had implied that something might happen to Kristina.

Urs took a deep breath before opening the door to his and Saskia’s hotel room. Saskia was sitting in one of the arm chairs, with a glass of water in her hand.

“Where have you been?” Saskia asked, when she looked up and saw Urs. “I expected you back a while ago.”

“I’m not going to lie to you Saskia.” Urs said, as he sat down in a chair opposite her. “I went to see Krissy, I wanted to make sure she was okay.”

“How is she?” Saskia asked, as she played with the glass of water, looking away from Urs.

“The doctor seems to think it might be food poisoning.” Urs said, uncertainly, as he tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair.

“You don’t sound too convinced.” Saskia said.

“I’m not.” Urs replied. “After what Krissy has told me… well, she thinks it’s more serious than that.”

“You mean she might be sick again?” Saskia asked.

Urs nodded.

“And when did she tell you this?” Saskia continued. “Last night? When you met her at the castle?”

Urs looked at Saskia with both a look of guilt and surprise.

“Don’t even bother trying to deny it, Urs.” Saskia said, shaking her head. “You were seen together, last night.”

“I wasn’t going to deny it.” Urs replied. “But it wasn’t planned, we met by pure accident. I left here and I needed to think, so I went for a walk. Seems Krissy had the same idea. But can I ask, who told you?”

“Stephanie.” Saskia replied.

“I just saw her leaving.” Urs replied. “What else did she say?”

“Enough.” Saskia said. “Enough to make me think that I don‘t know the real you anymore.”

“Don’t be fooled by her, Saskia.” Urs said, leaning forward in his chair. “I know a lot has happened in the last few days but you don’t know what she’s like. She‘ll have you believe that she‘s your friend but if you upset her, and things don‘t start going her way, she‘ll stab you in the back. Believe me, I‘ve learnt the hard way.”

“So what have you done to upset her?” Saskia asked.

Urs shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He didn’t want to have to tell Saskia everything but he had to make her see that Stephanie couldn’t be trusted.

“She was jealous of Krissy.” Urs replied. “Stephanie knew how I felt about her and she blamed her, for me not wanting to take things further between us.”

“Stephanie mentioned that you and her had a relationship.” Saskia commented.

“I don’t think you could really call it a relationship.” Urs replied. “We only had one date and… and spent one night together. I know she wanted more but I couldn’t give her what she wanted. Not when I felt so strongly for Kristina. That‘s why I told Stephanie that we could never be any more than friends.”

“So what happened?” Saskia asked. “What did Stephanie do?”

“Do you remember me telling you that Krissy found out by accident, from a friend that I was in love with her?” Urs asked. “This was when I still lived in Paris.”

“Yes.” Saskia replied. “I remember.”

“Well, that friend was Stephanie.” Urs answered.

“How did she find out?” Saskia asked.

Urs sighed, and rubbed his forehead.

“Krissy was in Paris for a couple of days and I offered her my spare room.” Urs replied. “It was around that time that she found out she was ill. I woke up after hearing noises downstairs. When I went down, I found Krissy, drunk. She’d knocked something over and was in a bit of a state. I tried to calm her down and she ended up crying herself to sleep on the sofa. Then Stephanie showed up, she was drunk too.”

“Sounds like it was quite some night.” Saskia said.

“You could say that.” Urs said, laughing nervously. “Well, I couldn’t let Stephanie drive home, so I let her sleep in my room. I took Krissy up to the spare room, and I think it was probably the drink, but she thought she was back home in New York. She called me David and… and said I love you.

Urs glanced at Saskia.

“I know she thought she was talking to David.” Urs continued, as he lowered his eyes. “But I couldn’t help it, I… I told her that I loved her too. Stephanie over heard me.”

“And she that's when she told Kristina what you said?” Saskia interrupted.

“Yes but there’s a bit more to it than that.” Urs replied. “I fell asleep in the chair next to Krissy. When she woke up, she started to remember things about the night before and understandably, she was upset and embarrassed. Stephanie walked in on us hugging and misread the situation.”

“Are you saying that nothing ever happened between you and Kristina?” Saskia asked.

“Nothing at all.” Urs replied. “She was still seeing David and always denied that she had any feelings for me. I don’t know exactly what Stephanie told you, but I don’t think she told you everything.”

“She did.” Saskia answered. “She told me how Kristina threw herself down the stairs and then blamed her for it and that you refused to see her again.”

“She said what?” Urs said, dumbfounded. “The two-faced lying… Krissy didn’t throw herself down the stairs, Stephanie pushed her. Stephanie couldn‘t accept that I didn‘t love her. She started an argument with Krissy and that‘s when she pushed her down the stairs and Krissy broke her wrist.”

“Did you actually see it happen?” Saskia asked.

“No, Krissy told.…” Urs paused. “Do you believe Stephanie? Do you really think that Krissy threw herself down the stairs just to make her look bad? Do you honestly think she would do something like that?”

“No, of course not.“ Saskia answered. “But how do you know that she didn’t slip and then blame Stephanie?”

“I don’t.” Urs replied. “But I believe Krissy. She didn’t tell me about it straight away. I had to take her to the hospital because of her wrist. She would hardly talk to me, let alone look at me. It wasn’t until she was about to leave that she finally admitted what had happened and that she knew I was in love with her. I even confronted Stephanie when I got home and she admitted to it. So you see, Stephanie can’t be trusted.”

“Neither can you, Urs.” Saskia commented.

“What do you mean?” Urs asked, confused. “I’m telling the truth. That‘s what happened.”

“I don’t doubt it for a minute.” Saskia replied. “But I’m talking about you and me, and what’s happened these last few weeks since Kristina made an appearance.”

Urs sat back in the chair. He knew that he and Saskia had to talk, but he was hoping he could put this conversation on hold, at least until they were back in London.

“Saskia, can we talk about this when we get home?” Urs asked, in a low voice.

“No, Urs.” Saskia replied. “You’ve been acting differently ever since she arrived. I overheard you telling Julianna how you felt about Kristina and that you couldn’t forget her. You still love her don‘t you?”

“Saskia, please, I never… ” Urs said.

“Urs, please, just answer me.” Saskia continued. “Do you still love her?”

“Yes, I do.” he replied, faintly, as he lowered his eyes. “But I love you too.”

“So where does that leave us?” Saskia asked. “You need to make up your mind, because I can’t stay with a man who claims to be in love with two women.”

“I never meant for any of this to happen.” Urs said, looking back up at Saskia. “The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you, you do believe me, don’t you?”

“I believe you, Urs and I love you too.” Saskia said, faintly. “Although it sounds to me as if you’ve already made your decision. I came to Italy hoping that things would change for the better, hoping that I wouldn‘t lose you. But it was a waste of time, wasn‘t it, Urs? I lost you to her, a long time ago.”

Urs continued to look at Saskia, tears in his eyes. He truly loved Saskia and she had never done anything to hurt him. Yet here he was, admitting that he was in love with another woman and causing her pain and heartache. But he loved Kristina too, he had always loved Kristina, he couldn’t give up on her.

“I’m sorry, Saskia.” Urs replied, weakly. He didn’t know what else to say.

“Seeing as you can’t bring yourself to say it, I’m going to make it easy for you, Urs.” Saskia said, getting up from her seat. “I‘m ending this relationship right here and now. It’s over between us.”

***** CHAPTER 93 *****

The hour long drive to the airport was a tense one, and the atmosphere didn’t change once they were on the plane. It was obvious to the others that something had happened between Urs and Saskia, when she had asked Sebastien if he minded swapping seats with her, so that she could sit next to Anna. Sebastien didn’t comment, but agreed to swap seats and sat next to Urs, giving him a questioning look. Urs shook his head, signalling that he didn’t want to talk about it and looked back down at the magazine he was reading. Except he wasn’t really reading it. He was trying, but his eyes skimmed across the words, not really taking in the information. He was trying to think of another way to convince Kristina to stay with him. Just because he was now single again, didn’t mean that Kristina would instantly drop everything with Tyler just to be with him. He had to take things slowly and make her see that she was meant to be with him. Except taking things slowly wasn’t possible, time was something that Urs didn’t have.

Urs glanced up from his magazine occasionally, when one of the others would laugh or make a comment, but he couldn’t bring himself to look at Kristina. He felt uncomfortable, knowing that Saskia knew how he felt about her. He found some comfort in knowing that he and Saskia had managed to talk about things sensibly and remain friends. Although he wasn’t sure how easy that would be, after all he did still love her and hated himself for hurting her. But then there was Kristina. He had told her that he would end the relationship with Saskia, yet Saskia had been the one to take matters in to her own hands, and who could blame her after the way he had treated her. Kristina would soon find out that they had split up, if she hadn’t already guessed. But would it be enough to make her change her mind? Would it be enough to convince her to stay and to prove to her that he was serious about the two of them?

Kristina had sat looking out the small window, in to the darkness. She was still feeling tired and nauseous. Abigail had woken her an hour before they were due to leave the hotel, which gave her enough time to shower, dress and try and eat something. But Kristina still didn’t have much of an appetite and only managed to eat a few dry crackers before getting in to the minibus and heading to the airport. As soon as they had got on the plane, Kristina noticed that something had happened between Saskia and Urs. She couldn’t help wondering if she was the reason behind it, or maybe they had simply had an argument. Yet the same question kept popping in to her head. Has Urs ended the relationship? Kristina hoped he hadn’t, because there was no way that her and Urs could ever become a couple. Yet if Urs felt that strongly, then maybe he was doing the right thing by Saskia.

Kristina had sat in the same seat as before, next to Tyler. Once or twice he had asked her if she was feeling alright. She had been honest and told him no. He had gently squeezed her hand, telling her to try and get some sleep and reassuring her that they would soon be home and she would probably feel better once they were back in London.

But she wasn’t. It was now Monday and Kristina was feeling worse than yesterday. She hadn’t got to sleep until some time in the early hours. But even then, she had a restless sleep, tossing and turning, worrying about her health, leaving Urs and moving to New York. Kristina had waited until 7.30am, when she knew that Tyler would be awake. She had apologised and told him that she wouldn’t be going in to the office today but if he needed her, then all he had to do was call her. But Tyler was having none of it. He had assured her that he would be able to handle everything and she was to make sure she got plenty of rest. Kristina had eventually agreed, yet she felt somewhat disappointed, with this being her first major campaign. But she knew that she wouldn’t be able to give it her full attention while she felt so ill.

It had taken Kristina a full hour to find the courage to ring Susie, one of the Care Team members at the Renal Unit, at the hospital. Over the last two years, since moving to London, she had visited Susie several times, for regular check ups and changes to her medication. She had never had any problems in making appointments before, as there was never anything to worry about. But Kristina had told Susie about her symptoms and she seemed concerned. This didn’t exactly fill Kristina with confidence. She was worried, and Kristina could only assume that Susie was worried aswell. Why else would they bring her appointment forward from Wednesday to today?

Kristina had also phoned Abigail, earlier that morning to let her know that the appointment had been changed. She wanted to see if she could come with her but Carlos had told her that Abigail was in bed, ill. Carlos thought maybe she had the same thing as Kristina. But Kristina still didn’t tell Carlos what she thought might be wrong with her.

Kristina was now sitting outside the hospital alone, trying to decide whether she should call Urs. After all, he did say that he would go with her. But that was when he thought the appointment was on Wednesday. Could she really expect him to change his plans for her?

Twenty minutes later and Kristina was still sitting outside the hospital. She was starting to feel sick again, and was glad that she had left early. She wasn’t sure she would get there on time, if she had to stop, plus it gave her time to calm her nerves. Kristina still had thirty minutes to decide if she wanted Urs to be with her or not. She took her mobile out of her bag and scrolled through the contacts until she came to Urs’ name. She was too nervous to talk to him and she didn’t know if he would be busy and didn’t want to interrupt him. He might even be with Saskia, so she decided to text him instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Urs was with David, Sebastien and Carlos, working on another song, when his mobile went off. He walked over to the table and picked up his mobile.

“Change of plan. Doctors appointment now at 12 noon today. Are you still free? Kristina.”

Urs checked his watch.

“Guys, I have to go out.” Urs said, picking up his jacket and quickly putting it on.

“But we’re almost finished.” David said, looking annoyed. “Can’t it wait?”

“Sorry, it’s important.” Urs replied, grabbing his keys from the table.

“Well, how long are you going to be?” Carlos asked.

“I don‘t know.” Urs said, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Why don’t you take an early lunch?”

Urs didn’t wait for a reply, as he hurried out the door and downstairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kristina was still sitting outside on the steps waiting for Urs. He had called her back a minute or two after she had text him. She had let him know where she was and he told her that he was on his way. That was over twenty minutes ago and Kristina was starting to worry that he wouldn’t arrive in time. Her appointment was in five minutes. Kristina was about to call Urs, when she could hear the unmistakable sound of a motorbike engine. She turned to see a bike pull up along side the kerb, instantly recognising it and the rider. It was Urs.

Urs parked the bike and took off his helmet, revealing his dark curly hair. As Kristina approached him, she couldn’t help smiling to herself. He looked handsome when his hair was straight. Heck, he always looked handsome but there was just something about him when his hair was curly. Maybe it was because it reminded her of how he looked when they first met.

“And what, may I ask, are you smiling at?” Urs asked, as he got off the bike and placed the helmet on the back of it.

“You.” she replied, still smiling. “It makes a nice change to see you with your hair like that. I miss those curls of yours.”

“Really?” Urs said, smiling as he combed his fingers through his dark curls. “Well, I guess I’ll have to do something about that then, won’t I.”

“Don’t let me influence you in how you dress.” Kristina said, smirking. “It might mess up your clean cut image for the group.”

“Hey if they don’t like the real me, that’s their problem not mine.” Urs said, picking up his helmet. “So, are you ready? It’s almost noon.”

“I’m ready.” Kristina said, the smile disappearing from her face.

“Hey, don’t worry.” Urs said, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’ll be fine.”

“I hope you’re right.” Kristina said, forcing a smile.

“Trust me, I’m a doctor.” Urs said, jokingly.

“Yeah? Well, in case you hadn’t noticed, I don’t like doctors.” Kristina replied.

“Sorry.” Urs said, frowning. “Come on, let’s go in, before I make any more bad jokes.”

***** CHAPTER 94 *****

As they entered the hospital, Urs let Kristina lead the way, seeing as she had been here before and she knew where to go. Urs could see she was nervous. He had tried to talking to her, asking her questions about her work, her family, anything to keep her mind occupied. She answered all his questions but he knew it wasn’t really helping. As they made their way along the corridors and then in to the elevator, Kristina started to become quiet again, walking slowly as if trying to delay the inevitable.

The elevator doors opened and Kristina saw the familiar door to the waiting room, straight ahead of her. She could feel her heart pounding, the ringing in her ears and sweat on her forehead, even though she felt cold. She had been fine downstairs but now with the sudden realisation that she was almost there and that they would either confirm or deny her suspicions, she was starting to regret coming.

Urs walked out of the elevator, but Kristina couldn’t bring herself to take another step. Urs stopped suddenly when he realised that Kristina hadn’t moved.

“Is that it?” Urs asked, noticing the door that Kristina hadn’t been able to take her eyes off.

“Yes.” she said, weakly. “That’s it, I don‘t… I don‘t think I can go in.”

“Come and sit down over here.” Urs said, gently pulling on her hand, encouraging her out of the elevator.

Kristina slowly walked out of the elevator, and let Urs lead her to a row of chairs along the corridor wall. She knew that she had to go in there but Kristina wasn’t quite ready. Sitting in that waiting room, any waiting room, was one of the most physically and mentally uncomfortable places in the world.

“I can only imagine what must be going through your mind right now, Krissy. But if you’re worried or scared, there’s no need to be.” Urs said, gently rubbing the back of her hand, as they sat down. “I’m right here with you and I‘ll stay with you as long as you want me to.”

Kristina swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears. She was touched by Urs’ continuous show of concern and affection for her, yet in the back of her mind, a small voice kept reminding her, he loves Aimee, not you. Yet Kristina was determined to push that thought from her mind. She had more important things to worry about and she was content just to have Urs with her.

“You do want me to stay with you, don’t you?” Urs asked, when Kristina hadn’t replied. “Do you want me to come in with you?”

Kristina looked at Urs, smiled weakly and nodded, the lump in her throat preventing her from talking. She couldn’t understand why she was so close to tears. She hadn’t even got to the waiting room or been told what was wrong with her yet she still wanted to cry. She felt foolish.

“Do you think you’re ready to go in there now?” Urs asked, softly.

“No.” Kristina said weakly. “But I know I have to do this.”

Kristina stood up and took a deep breath. She was still feeling nervous and her palms were feeling hot and sweaty. Urs held his hand out to her. Kristina looked at it, ran her palms down the sides of her trousers and slipped her hand in his.

Five minutes later, and Urs and Kristina were sitting in the waiting room. It was a brightly painted room, furnished with pale blue chairs and a glass topped table, stacked high with magazines and a large potted plant stood in the corner. It didn’t look like a waiting room in a hospital and if it wasn’t for the unmistakable smell of a hospital you would never have known. Kristina had been told that Susie was running a few minutes late but she would do her best to see her as soon as possible, so she had started to read a magazine.

Kristina’s hands began to sweat again, as she nervously flipped the pages of the magazine. hat if she was right? What if she was ill? What if her kidney was failing? Would they let her have another kidney transplant or would she be on dialysis for life? All these questions kept running through her mind, making her increasingly more anxious. Urs must’ve sensed this as he lightly rested his hand on her arm and smiled. She smiled back, trying to hide her nerves and not show how scared she was. But as she looked around the small waiting room, at the other patients, she could see the familiar nervous smiles spread across their faces. It was obvious they were all feeling the same, all worried that this time their check up would reveal that something was wrong.

The door to Susie’s office finally opened.

“Kristina Sanders?”

A tall slender woman, with a warm smile cast her eyes around the waiting room. Her smile grew as Kristina stood up and Susie noticed her.

“Hello Susie.” Kristina said, shaking her hand.

“Hello Kristina, sorry for the wait.” Susie apologised, before looking over her shoulder at Urs.

Kristina saw her looking.

“This is Urs, he’s a friend of mine.” Kristina said, stepping aside, and gently taking Urs by the elbow.

“Nice to meet you, Urs.” Susie said, smiling as they shook hands. “Well, I know you probably just want to get this over with, so let’s see if we can find out what’s wrong with you. Is Urs coming in with you?”

Kristina turned to face Urs. She was eternally grateful to him for coming with her, but she knew Susie would be asking a lot of questions, some of them embarrassing.

“Do you mind waiting outside?” Kristina asking, frowning.

“Of course not.” Urs said, winking. “I’ll wait here for you.”

Kristina smiled at Urs, before Susie turned and led them in to her office.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was almost an hour before a rather subdued Kristina emerged from Susie’s office. Urs didn’t want to force Kristina in to talking. He assumed she would talk about it in her own time, but he was desperate to find out if she was okay. It wasn’t until they stepped outside, that Urs asked Kristina about the appointment.

“Is everything okay?” Urs asked, quietly. “Does she know what’s wrong?”

“She wants to change my medication again.” Kristina said, looking straight ahead as they walked over to where Urs had parked his bike. “Which means more blood tests…more needles.”

“But you said you’ve changed your medication before.” Urs commented. “And you’ve been fine afterwards, haven’t you?”

“Yes but my blood creatinine levels are a lot higher than last time.” she said, quietly, as they reached Urs’ bike.

“Is that good or bad?” Urs asked, nervously, not sure that he wanted to hear the answer.

“I still can’t get over you having a motorbike.” Kristina said, casually as she ran her hand over the leather seat of Urs‘ Harley. “I remember how you used to look, when we first met. I thought you were the more studious type, not a biker.”

“It’s the rebellious part of me.” Urs said, smiling, but still waiting for an answer.

“Can I sit on it?” Kristina asked, looking at Urs.

“Of course you can.” Urs replied, holding the bike steady for her. “Go ahead.”

“I love motorbikes.” Kristina said, as she swung her leg over the bike and sat on it. “I used to go to all the motor shows back home, you know. Harleys are real classics but I prefer the Japanese bikes. They‘re faster.” she added, grinning like a small child.

“Really? You surprise me.” Urs said, taken aback. “I never took you for a biker chick.”

“I don’t think you could call me a biker chick.” Kristina said, smiling. “I don’t even know how to ride one and I‘ve never actually ridden on one. I’ve only ever watched the races on the television, when I get time. But I just love the sound of them and the thought of having all that power beneath you as you let out the throttle and race down the highway.”

Urs smiled to himself as he watched Kristina, lean forward and grip the handlebars. She certainly had surprised him. He suddenly realised that there was still so much that he didn’t know about Kristina and if she insisted on leaving for New York, then he would probably never know the real Kristina.

“Krissy, you still haven‘t answered my question.” Urs said, watching her intently, for some tell tale sign. “What did Susie say about the crea… the creati…”

“The creatinine levels?.” Kristina finished for him. “It can be an indication that my kidney is failing, but like I said, it means more tests before she‘s certain.” she said, calmly.

“What does that mean?” Urs asked, worriedly. “Will the medication help?”

“It might do.” Kristina answered. “But it might not, there’s no guarantee. It could mean I have to go back on dialysis, for life or… or have another transplant.”

Urs watched Kristina as she admired the bike. He didn’t know what to say. What could you say to someone who could be seriously ill again?

“How do you fancy going for a ride?” Urs asked, suddenly.

“On this?” Kristina said, her eyes lighting up. “I’d love to but I’m not exactly dressed for the occasion.”

“That can soon be fixed.” Urs replied. “How about you go back home and get changed. I’ll go and get the spare helmet and we can go wherever you want.”

“But what about work?” Kristina asked. “I’ve left Tyler all on his own, I can hardly go gallivanting off around London on a motorbike. It wouldn‘t be right. Besides, I still don’t feel on top of the world.”

“The fresh air might do you good.” Urs said. “I’m offering you the chance of a lifetime, to ride on a Harley.”

“But what about you?” Kristina said, worriedly. “Shouldn’t you get back to work? The guys will be wondering where you are.”

“I’ll just tell them that I have some important business to take care of and I won’t be in for the rest of the day.” Urs replied. “A few hours won’t hurt. So what do you say?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kristina had always been interested in bikes and had dreamt about having her own one day. But when she mentioned the possibility of it to her mom, she didn’t seem so keen. Kristina had never even got around to having lessons, as she was too busy with her studies and then her work. Urs offering her a ride on a Harley was a dream come true, an offer that she simply couldn’t refuse.

In the time it took Kristina to go home by taxi and change, Urs had managed to go home, collect the spare helmet and was now sitting outside her house, waiting patiently.

Urs wasn’t kept waiting long, when Kristina emerged from the building, wearing jeans, a denim jacket and a jumper. The sun was out but she didn’t know if she would get cold, riding on the back of a bike. Urs had explained to her to keep her feet on the foot pegs, and when ever he turned a corner to lean in to it with him. It sounded easy enough.

Urs held the bike steady, as she climbed on behind him.

“I can’t believe you’ve never been on a bike before.” Urs commented, handing her the spare helmet.

“I’ve always wanted one.” Kristina replied. “But when I suggested it years ago, my mom nearly had a coronary. Besides, back home is hardly the place for a motorbike. You can‘t exactly speed through the streets of New York.”

“Well, these bikes were built for comfort, not speed.” Urs remarked. “But we can still go pretty on fast on this thing, although I don’t think we’ll be breaking any speed limits.”

“I just can’t believe I’m actually going to ride one.” Kristina said, putting the helmet on.

“If you’re ready, we’ll go.” Urs said, looking over his shoulder.

“I’m ready.” Kristina replied.

“Hold on tight then.” Urs said, as he started up the bike.

Like she needed to be told twice, Kristina thought to herself. She slid forward on the leather seat, until her thighs were close against Urs’ legs and wrapped her arms around his waist. The bike rumbled underneath her and Kristina was surprised at how loud it was. The Harley roared as they pulled away, Kristina tightened her grip around his waist, worried that she might fall off but at the same time, worried that she might be holding Urs too tightly. But he didn’t seem bothered.

His back was strong and broad and she could feel him breathing as she leant her chest against him. As the air rushed around her, she could smell the leather of his jacket and occasionally his cologne. When they slowed down briefly at some traffic lights, Kristina’s grip loosened and her hands fell to his side, lightly resting on his hips.

“Having fun?” Urs asked, glancing over his shoulder.

“This is great.” Kristina replied, raising her voice, so that Urs could hear her over the sound of the engine.

“Do you think you think you can stay on there for an hour or so?” Urs said.

“Sure, where are we going?” Kristina asked.

“You’ll see.” Urs replied. “The lights are changing, hang on.”

Kristina wrapped her arms around his waist again, enjoying the ride and forgetting how ill she was feeling, as she wondered where Urs was taking her.

***** CHAPTER 95 *****

Sure enough, just over an hour later and Urs and Kristina arrived at their destination; Southend. Urs pulled off the main road and made his way down a long drive. Kristina looked at the large sign at the side of the road.

“Mitchell’s Motor Racing Circuit? What are we doing here?” Kristina asked.

“I thought you might like to have a go at learning how to ride a motorbike.” Urs replied, as he pulled into the small car park and switched the engine off.

“Are you serious?” Kristina said, excitedly.

“Absolutely. But no doubt your mom will want to skin me alive if she ever finds out.” Urs said, chuckling as he held the bike steady so Kristina could get off.

“Oh what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” Kristina said, standing on the foot peg and getting off the bike. “And I’m certainly not going to tell her.”

“So I take it that’s a yes?” Urs said, as he watched Kristina take off the helmet and shake her head, her hair falling back in to place.

“What do you think?” Kristina said, grinning at Urs, when he had got off the bike. “But don’t we have to book in advance or something?”

“It’s okay.” Urs replied, taking the helmet from Kristina and placing it on the back of the bike, alongside his. “I know the guy that owns it.”

“But I need a licence.” Kristina said, frowning. “I haven’t even got a provisional.”

“Will you stop worrying? It‘s private land, it doesn‘t matter.” Urs said, placing his hand on her shoulder. “Ever heard of the Southend Shakedown?” Urs asked.

“That’s the bike race for the children’s charity, isn‘t it?” Kristina said. “I watched them last year, all leaving the North Circular Road in London.”

“That’s the one.” Urs replied. “It’s goes from London to Southend. It’s an annual thing, organised by the Ace Café in London. Well, I met Deano a few years ago, when I came over to England to take part in it.”

“Deano?” Kristina said. “That’s his name?”

“More like a nickname.” Urs replied. “I don’t know what his real name is. I‘m not sure he‘d tell me, even if I asked.”

“Damn right.” said a deep voice from behind.

Kristina turned to see a tall man, wearing oily jeans and black shirt, with the arms cut off at the shoulders, revealing a tattoo on his left arm. He had a young looking face, despite his thick grey hair but he couldn’t be more than forty.

“Deano Mitchell at your service.” he said, holding his hand out to Kristina.

“Kristina Sanders.” she replied, shaking Deano’s hand and smiling politely.

“Sorry, I guess I should have washed first.” Deano said, when he noticed Kristina had some oil on her hands. “It’s just that I heard the bike and came straight out to see who it was.”

“That’s okay.” Kristina replied. “A bit of oil won’t hurt me. I like getting my hands dirty sometimes.”

“Well anyways, why don’t you come with me.” Deano nodded in the direction of the small building. “I’ll give you something to get that off your hands. Great to see you again, Urs.”

“You too, Deano.” Urs said, giving him a friendly slap on the back.

“How’s this new group of yours going?” Deano asked.

“It was hard at first.” Urs replied. “You know, with all of us coming from different countries, but we‘re getting there slowly.”

“Glad to hear it.” Deano said, as he opened the door and let Kristina and Urs enter first.

“So what’s with the oil?” Urs asked. “Trouble with one of the bikes?”

“No, nothing wrong.” Deano replied. “Just giving it a long over due service. It‘s been pretty busy here lately, so I haven‘t had much time to do anything else.”

“Here you go.” Deano said, holding out a small tub of green gel. “Rub some of that in to your hands and it will soon come off.”

While Kristina stood at a small sink in the corner of the room, rubbing the green gel in to her hands, Urs and Deano sat down and began to talk.

“Well, you’re looking grand.” Deano said, as he picked up a handful of tissues and started trying to get the worst of the oil off his hands. “This music lark must be good for you. Or is it the love of a good woman?” he added, with a wink.

Urs didn’t reply. He sat watching Kristina, wondering if he should tell her that he and Saskia had broken up. He was longing to tell her, so that she would seriously give some thought about staying in London, but he didn’t know when would be the right time.

“Sorry, should I just keep my mouth shut?” Deano asked, lowering his voice, as he looked round at Kristina and then back at Urs. “Are you two friends or….?”

“Just friends.” Urs said, in a low voice, as he continued to watch Kristina, who was rinsing her hands.

“Her choice or yours?” Deano asked.

“Krissy’s.” Urs said, quietly, letting out a small sigh. “But it’s a long story.”

“Well, if you want something bad enough, I’m sure you’ll find a way.” Deano said, giving him a friendly smile. “But what brings you here?”

“I was hoping you could help me out.” Urs replied. “Krissy’s going back home to New York at the weekend and she’s never been on a bike until today. I was hoping maybe you could give her a quick lesson, just the basics, and maybe let her have a go on one?”

Kristina picked up a handful of tissues and dried her hands, waiting for Deano’s reply.

“I’m sure we can work something out.” Deano replied. “Let’s go see what we’ve got.”

Deano got up from his seat and walked over to another door. It led in to a garage; one wall was lined up with at least twenty bikes, of various makes and models.

“Holy s**t!” Kristina exclaimed, before covering her mouth and blushing. “Sorry.”

“You like ‘em?” Deano asked, laughing.

“Like? Are you out of your mind? I love them!” Kristina exclaimed. “There must be close to what… £250,000 worth of bikes here!”

“That’s about right.” Deano said, proudly. “They’re my pride and joy. Been collecting them over the years. My old man swears I was born with petrol in my veins.”

A bike then caught her eye. Deano nudged Urs, as Kristina walked straight over to a jet black bike.

“She’s a speed freak isn’t she?” Deano commented. “That’s one of the fastest bikes I’ve got here, in fact last time I checked, it was one of the fastest bikes in the world.”

All Urs could do was grin at the look of awe on Kristina’s face as she admired the bike, running her hand over every curve.

“I don’t suppose you could take me out on this one, could you?” Kristina asked, hopefully. “Please?”

“Seeing as you asked so politely.” Deano replied, winking. “You’ll need to get kitted up first. I’ll go and see if I can find some leathers in your size. And what shoe size are you?”

“Six.” Kristina replied.

“I’ll be back in a minute.” Deano said, before disappearing. When Deano had left the garage in search of leathers and boots, Urs made his way over to the bike that Kristina was still admiring.

“Do you know what this is?” Kristina said, with a huge smile on her face.

Urs shook his head, with an equally huge smile on his face.

“It’s a Suzuki Hayabusa, GSX1300R.” Kristina continued, not taking her eyes off the bike. “John Noonan raced it at 246mph in 2004 when he rode in the 1650cc APS-BF class.”

“You certainly know your bikes and history, don’t you!” Urs commented.

“Sorry, I must sound like a real nerd.” Kristina said, looking up at Urs and blushing.

“Not at all.” Urs said, smiling. “It’s nice to know what makes you tick. I was thinking about it earlier and I suddenly realised that I don’t really know you all that well, do I?”

“What do you mean by that?” Kristina asked.

“What I mean is…” Urs paused for a moment. “I mean that, although we’ve known each other for quite a while, I don’t really know the real you. I don’t know anything about your family, your past, what you like to do, your likes, your dislikes. If you leave for New York, I‘ll never get to find out any of those things.”

Kristina fell silent. If only things had been different. If only she had been honest with Urs about her feelings for him all those years ago. But it still wouldn’t change the fact that he didn’t really love her. She would just be oblivious to it, unless Marius or Stephanie had still decided to tell her, something that both of them seemed to get from pleasure from in telling her. Kristina frowned at the thought of never being able to tell Urs that she loved him, letting him go on thinking that she didn’t love him anymore.

“Here you go.” Deano said, entering the garage and breaking the silence. “These should fit you just perfectly.”

Kristina thanked Deano and went off to change.

“I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything then.” Deano said, apologetically. “I’d hate to stand in the way of true love.”

“Like I told you, Deano.” Urs said, leaning against the wall. “We’re just friends.”

“I know what you said, Urs, but that doesn‘t mean a thing.” Deano replied. “You’ve only been here five minutes and I can tell there’s something going on between you two. Are you seriously trying to tell me that she doesn’t feel anything for you?”

“She did once but not anymore.” Urs said sadly, as he slowly shook his head. “And she leaves for New York on Sunday. I’ll probably never see her again.”

“Well, that still gives you six days to change her mind.” Deano commented. “I know you can do it.”

“I’m glad you’ve got such faith in me.” Urs joked. “But seriously, I think I’m going to lose her.”

A short time later, Kristina emerged dressed in the leathers and boots that Deano had given her.

“How do I look?” Kristina asked.

“Like you were born to be a biker.” Deano replied, winking.

Kristina grinned, unable to hide her excitement.

“Here, you’ll need this.” Deano said, handing her a helmet and gloves. “And now we’re all set. Ready?”

“Lead the way.” Kristina replied, still grinning.

Deano walked over to the bike, and sat on it, and waited for Kristina to get on it before starting the engine. He slowly rode the bike out of the garage and out onto the track. Urs quickly went up in to the stands to get a better view. Kristina looked over at Urs, who gave her a thumbs up. She was still grinning underneath the helmet and she knew Urs wouldn’t be able to see, so she returned the thumbs up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Forty minutes later and Deano pulled the bike up along side the garage, while Urs came over to meet them.

“So was it as good as you thought it would be?” Deano asked, as he and Kristina got off the bike.

“It was… it was unbelievable.” Kristina said, her face glowing. “I’ve never known anything like it! I can’t thank you enough.”

“The pleasure’s all mine.” Deano replied.

“Looks like someone had a great time.” Urs said, as he got nearer to them.

“Urs, it was amazing.” Kristina said, her face beaming with joy. “To go that fast, and not worry about anything else on the road and just… just ride! It’s like, it’s like… I can’t describe it.”

“I know exactly what you mean.” Urs said, smiling, at seeing her so happy. “It’s called freedom. I think every biker at some point in their life has felt what you’re feeling now.”

“So how do you feel about me showing you the basics of riding a bike?” Deano asked, as he took the bike back in to the garage.

“I’d love you to show me.” Kristina replied, unable to stop grinning.

Deano walked across the garage to another slightly smaller bike. He then spent the next ten minutes explaining what each control was and what it did. Kristina had her drivers licence so it wasn’t much different from driving a car, although she knew it would still take some getting used to.

“Did you want to give it a go?” Deano asked.

“Stupid question.” Urs said, quietly laughing.

Kristina turned around and playfully slapped him on the arm.

“Shut it, you.” she replied, grinning, before turning back to face Deano. “Yes, please, Deano. I‘d love to.”

Kristina quickly changed out of the leathers and boots and hurried back in to the garage and getting on the bike.

“Okay, so I turn the key and wait for the red light.” Kristina said, as she went over everything Deano had told her. “The neutral light isn’t on, so that means it’s in gear, right?”

“Yes, so push the gear shifter down.” Deano replied.

“It won’t move.” Kristina answered.

“That means you’re in first.” Deano said, moving round to the other side of the bike. “Hold in the clutch and move it up half a click.”

Kristina did as she was told.

“See, the neutral light is on now.” Deano said, when he saw the green light. “Now you can start the engine. Just remember, the right side is for accelerating and braking, the left side is your clutch and gears.”

“Got it.” Kristina said, as she turned the key and started the engine. She slowly let the clutch out and the bike moved ever so slightly and then it stalled.

“Don’t worry.” Deano replied, smiling. “I’d be surprised if you didn’t stall it first time. First gear is tricky and it can take some getting used to, finding out where the clutch engages.”

After several more attempts, Kristina finally managed to get it into first gear and slowly rode the bike up and down the track several times, with Deano following closely behind her.

“Remember, use the back brake to slow down.” Deano said, pointing to her foot. “There’s no need to use the front back when you’re going this slow.”

Kristina used her right foot to slow down and stop the bike and get off.

“Thanks for letting me do this.” Kristina said, handing back the helmet to Deano. “I won’t forget this in a long time.”

“Just glad you enjoyed it.” Deano replied, taking the helmet from her. “Why don’t you let Kristina have a go on your bike, Urs? You’ll probably have to get on the bike with her, that’s a bit bigger than this small thing.” he said, pointing to his own bike.

The phone then started to ring.

“Excuse me, while I go and answer that.” Deano said, winking at Urs as he walked past him.

“Did you want to have a go at riding the Harley?” Urs asked, when Deano had disappeared inside.

“That’s if you trust me.” Kristina said, smiling.

“With my life.” Urs replied. “Come on then.”

Kristina and Urs walked back over to his bike. Deano was right, she did need help with Urs’ bike. It was a lot bigger than the one Deano had let her learn on and a lot heavier. Kristina got on the bike first, while Urs held it steady for her and then swung his leg over the back, getting on behind her. He went through everything on the bike, but it was a similar set up to Deano’s. Kristina started up the bike, just like Deano had shown her earlier but couldn’t get it in to first and she continuously stalled it.

Kristina was starting to become frustrated, and Urs sensed she was getting annoyed. So eventually Urs had got the bike started and slowly pulled away, letting Kristina take over the controls. Kristina was certain that the reason she couldn’t get the bike in to first was because of Urs. Every time he leant forward she could feel his breath on her neck, she could smell his cologne, she could feel the warmth of his chest on her back, his arms brushing against her, as he held the controls.

When the bike was finally moving, Urs let go of the controls and let Kristina continue, his hands resting on her waist. Kristina was doing her hardest to concentrate on the road, even though she was only doing a few miles an hour. But it was too much, when she felt Urs’ shift ever so slightly in his seat. She suddenly realised how close they were, how his thighs were resting against her legs, his hands on her waist. It was only a momentary lapse of concentration but it was enough for the bike to wobble, and Urs to instinctively wrap one arm around her waist while grabbing the handle bar; the bike stalled.

“I’m sorry.” Kristina said, worriedly. “I… I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s okay.” Urs said, reassuringly. “No harm done, you’re still new at this.”

“I think that might be enough for one day.” Kristina said, getting off the bike.

“Well, get back on.” Urs said, as he scooted forward on the seat. “I’ll ride back to the garage.”

Kristina got back on the bike, this time sitting behind Urs, and wrapping her arms around his waist.

“How did it go?” Deano asked, when Urs and Kristina arrived back at the garage.

“Great!” Kristina replied. “But if I decide to get a bike, I’ll definitely start with something smaller.”

“Good idea.” Deano replied.

Kristina then started to yawn.

“Looks like someone’s had a long day.” Deano commented, seeing her yawn.

“Sorry.” Kristina said, covering her mouth, as she started to yawn again. “It must be all this sea air, I’m not used to it.”

“I suppose that’s a sign that we should get going.” Urs said, as he held his hand out to Deano. “Thanks for everything.”

“No worries, mate.” Deano replied.

“Yes, thanks for everything.” Kristina said, standing on tip toe and kissing him on the cheek. “I’ve had an amazing time.”

“You’re welcome back here anytime.” Deano said, winking at Kristina.

The three of them said their goodbyes and Deano went back inside. Kristina was just about to put her helmet on when Urs spoke.

“Did you want to get something to eat before we ride back?” Urs asked. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

“Me too.” Kristina replied. “Did you have anywhere in mind?”

“I thought we could have a ride along the sea front, and maybe stop off and get some fish and chips.” Urs said. “We can play the tourist.”

“Sounds good to me.” Kristina said, smiling at him, before putting the helmet on.

Kristina got back on the bike and slid her arms around Urs’ waist. It wasn’t long before they were sitting on a bench, along the pier looking out at the sea.

“How are the fish and chips?” Urs asked.

“They taste great.” Kristina replied, before trying to pick up another chip with the small wooden fork. Urs sat and watched her, and quietly laughed every time the chip fell off before it reached her mouth.

“God gave us hands before he gave us forks.” Kristina said, grinning as she put down the fork and picked up a chip with her fingers.

“That’s cheating.” Urs said, laughing.

“I don’t care.” Kristina said, grinning. “I’m starving.”

Urs shook his head and carried on eating his fish and chips; with a fork.

“How are you feeling?” Urs asked, after a few minutes. “Do you still feel sick?”

“To be honest, I think it mostly had to do with nerves this morning.” Kristina replied. “But coming out this afternoon, well, that helped take my mind off how bad I was feeling.”

“Do you have to take any tablets or anything?” Urs asked.

“I took them earlier.” Kristina replied. “I took them when I was changing in to the leathers. I didn’t want to have to explain to Deano what they all were.”

“Do you have to take a lot then?” Urs asked, puzzled by her comment.

“When I first had the transplant, I was taking lots of different drugs, several times a day.” Kristina replied. “I was always having to change the doses I didn’t know if I was coming or going. But they gradually reduced it to only a few but I still have to take them everyday for the rest of my life.”

“That must be hard for you.” Urs said, frowning.

“You get used to it.” Kristina said, shrugging her shoulders. “After awhile it becomes second nature.”

“Krissy….can I ask you something?” Urs said, quietly, as he stared down at his food.

“Sure, what is it?” she replied.

“What happens if….” Urs hesitated. “….what happens if there is something wrong with your kidney? What happens if your body is rejecting it?”

“I guess I’ll have to go back on dialysis.” Kristina said, smiling weakly. “Three times a week, four hours a day and two huge needles stuck in me. And for someone who has a fear of needles, imagine how I felt going through that everyday, until I could have the transplant. When they told me, I was thinking, why me? This can‘t be happening, my whole life is over. The scariest thing was not knowing what was going to happen next.”

“But you got through it okay, didn’t you!” Urs said, confidently.

Kristina sighed and put down her food. She had got through it, but it had been tough. When she remembered how hard things had been, she wondered if she would be able to go through all that again. She had David to help her last time. If she was ill again, would Tyler be willing to help her? Could she expect that much from him at such an early stage in their relationship? Was she being fair on not telling him? Did he have a right to know what he was letting himself in for?

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring back any bad memories.” Urs said, when Kristina didn’t reply.

“Thanks for today, Urs.” Kristina said, placing her hand on his arm, changing the subject. “Not just for coming with me this morning, but for the bike as well. You didn’t have to do all this.”

“I wanted to.” Urs said, smiling. “Think of it as a leaving present.”

Kristina looked away and folded up the paper that her chips were in. She didn’t like to think about leaving London. To think that in just a few days, she would be going back to New York and she didn’t know if she would ever see Urs again.

“What’s wrong?” Urs asked, when she looked away. “Having second thoughts?”

“No, I… I just….” Kristina stopped and looked at Urs. She wanted to tell him the truth, that she was having second thoughts about leaving, that she did love him, that she did want to stay in London with him. Then Urs smiled at her. How could she leave him? How could she spend the rest of her life loving him and yet not be with him? Then came that annoying voice again…“It’s not you he see’s, it’s Aimee.”

“I think we should go now.” Kristina said, getting up from her seat. “Natty will be wondering where I’ve got to.”

“Natty?” Urs asked.

“She’s a friend from back home.” Kristina replied. “She’s over here recording an album, and she’s staying with me for a few days.”

“Will she be coming to the party on Saturday?” Urs asked, as he and Kristina walked over to where the bike was parked.

“I don’t know.” Kristina replied. “I guess so, but to be honest, I haven’t asked her.”

“Well, if she does come, perhaps you can introduce us.” Urs replied. “Here, if you’ve finished your food, let me take that and I’ll put it in the bin.”

Kristina handed Urs the paper that her food was wrapped in, and sat on the bike. She really had enjoyed today and it was something that she had never dreamt of doing. She smiled to herself as she remembered the feeling of speeding down the race track with Deano.

Kristina jumped when she felt the bike move, before realising that it was Urs. He had sat down on the back of the bike.

“Shouldn’t you be sitting here?” Kristina said, looking over her shoulder.

“You mean you’re not going to take us home?” Urs said, jokingly.

“Firstly, I have no idea how to get home.” Kristina replied. “And secondly, you saw what happened when I tried riding this bike earlier.”

“I know, I haven‘t forgotten.” Urs said, lowering his voice, as he slid his arms around her waist. His warm breath on her neck, made her skin come out in goose bumps and her body tense up. “But I think that was partly my fault, wouldn’t you agree?” Urs said, his voice lowering still as he gently brushed her hair to one side and softly kissed her neck.

“Urs please don’t.” Kristina said, weakly. Her mouth was saying one thing, but her body was definitely saying another, as she leant back against Urs.

“I love the way you say my name.” Urs murmured, in his smooth tenor voice that she was so fond of.

Kristina closed her eyes, and could feel the heat of Urs’ body pressed up against the back of hers. Urs continued to kiss her neck, then along her jaw, searching for her mouth.

“Kiss me, Krissy.” Urs whispered. “One last time.”

Kristina turned her head slightly to protest but Urs silenced her as he leant round, threading his fingers through her hair and kissed her. Kristina let down her defences once again, as she welcomed his mouth, his tongue, it’s warmth. Her heart raced and her breath quickened with a longing for more of what Urs had to offer her.

“Pleas don’t leave me, Krissy.” Urs said, between kisses. “I love you so much.”

“I love y….” Kristina stopped, when she realised what she was about to say. She suddenly pulled away from Urs, quickly getting off the bike.

“Krissy?” Urs said, reaching for hand. “You were going to say it, weren’t you?”

“No I… I wasn't. It... it was a stupid in the heat of the moment thing.” Kristina lied.

“I don’t believe you.” Urs replied, shaking his head. "You love me. I want to hear you say it."

“I don’t care if you believe me or not.” Kristina said, tearfully. “But you’re not being fair to me, Urs. You can’t keep doing this to me. You know I’m leaving, you know I’m with Tyler.”

“But you don’t love him.” Urs said, frowning. “I don’t understand why you’re leaving.”

“Please don’t ruin today, Urs.” Kristina said, sadly. “It’s been so nice.”

“But Krissy…” Urs started to say.

“I want to go home.” Kristina interrupted. “Please, just take me home.”

“Okay, okay.” Urs said, quietly, as he handed Kristina the helmet.

Urs slid forward on the seat and Kristina climbed on behind him. On the way home, Urs noticed that Kristina no longer had her arms around his waist, instead she held on to his hips. Was that because she was becoming a more confident passenger or was it because she couldn’t bear to touch him anymore? Urs knew what he had done was wrong, he shouldn’t have kissed her. But there was no denying the fact that she kissed him back. Yet Urs was a man in love and he was running out of time. He had only six days left to convince Kristina to stay and he was prepared to do whatever it took to keep her there.

***** CHAPTER 96 *****


Urs pulled up outside Kristina’s house and she didn’t waste any time in getting off the bike and taking off the helmet.

“Thanks again for today, Urs.” Kristina said, quietly, as she handed him the helmet, before turning and walking away. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Krissy, wait.” Urs said, quickly getting off the bike and placing their helmets on the back of it. “Please wait.” he said again, reaching for her hand as she continued to walk away from him.

“What is it, Urs?” Kristina asked, as she stopped and turned to look at him. “I’m tired, I just want to go inside.”

“You do believe me, don’t you?” Urs asked. “You do believe that I’m sorry, sorry for kissing you again. I shouldn’t have done it, but… I just couldn’t stop myself.”

“You couldn’t stop yourself?” Kristina said, raising her eyebrows. “Well, in that case, maybe it’s best if we keep away from each other at work then.” Kristina said, shaking her hand free from Urs’ grip.

“Krissy, please don’t be like this.” Urs said, frowning. “You make it sound so sordid, all I did was kiss you. I just want to show you how much I love you.”

“You’ve told me often enough.” Kristina replied, walking away. “Why can’t you just leave it that?”

“Because we only have a few days left together until you leave for New York.” Urs said, following her up the path. “Please don’t ignore me.”

“We’re not together, Urs.” Kristina replied. “You make it sound like we’re a couple, but we’re not. When are you going to realise that?”

“I know we’re not a couple.” Urs said, sadly. “But that doesn’t make me love you any less. It doesn’t make me stop hoping, dreaming, that you’ll change your mind, that you’ll stay with me, that you’ll admit you love me.”

“Don’t start this again, Urs.” Kristina said, stopping suddenly and turning to face Urs.

“I haven’t told you this, but Saskia ended the relationship yesterday.” Urs said, looking at Kristina.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Kristina said, looking away from Urs gaze. “But it doesn’t change things.”

“But it does, Krissy. Don‘t you understand?” Urs said, hopefully. “I’m not with Saskia anymore. We can be together.”

“Nothing has changed for me.” Kristina replied as she turned and started to walk back up the path. “You may have split up with Saskia but I’m still with Tyler.”

“So, end it.” Urs said, moving in front of her and blocking her way. “Call Tyler and tell him you’ve changed your mind. Tell him that you’re staying in London. If you don’t want to call him, then go and see him. I’ll come with you if you like.”

“You’re crazy.” Kristina said, shaking her head in disbelief. “Why would I want to end it with Tyler? Just so I can date you on the rebound? No thanks.” she added, as she tried to push past him.

“But Krissy, you don’t love him.” Urs replied. “You love me, I know you do.”

“Don’t tell me how I feel.” Kristina said, firmly. “You should try sorting out your own feelings before interfering with other peoples.”

“Why are being like this, Krissy?” Urs asked, confused. “I know we got off to a bad start a few weeks ago but I thought we had managed to sort all that out.”

“I’m not talking about that.” Kristina said, taking her keys from her jacket pocket. “I’m talking about you and… you and….oh it doesn’t matter.” she said, as tears started to prick the backs of her eyes. If Urs was too blind to see that he didn’t really love her, that the only reason he was even talking to her was because she looked like Aimee, then Kristina wasn’t about to make a fool of herself in front of him and tell him. It already hurt enough, knowing that he didn’t feel the same way she did.

“Of course it matters, Krissy.” Urs said, gently taking hold of her arm and turning her to face him. “It matters to me.”

Kristina couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She knew that she was close to tears and didn’t want Urs to see her cry.

“What’s wrong?” Urs asked, worriedly. “What is it that you’re not telling me?”

“I said it doesn’t matter.” Kristina said, turning and trying to put the key in the door.

“And I said it does.” Urs replied, covering her hand with his and preventing her from opening the door. “When I kissed you earlier, you said I wasn’t being fair on you.”

“Well, you’re not.” Kristina replied. “You just don’t give up.”

“Why on earth would I give up on you?” Urs asked. “I know you love me.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kristina said, still struggling to get the key in the door.

“I think I do.” Urs said, brushing a stray hair from her eyes. “I can feel it when we kiss.”

“Stop it.” Kristina snapped, moving her head out of his reach.

“What’s wrong?” Urs asked, a smile creeping across his face. “Worried that I’ll kiss you again?”

“No, I…” Kristina stuttered.

“Or hoping?” Urs interrupted.

“Don’t be stupid.” Kristina replied, fumbling with the keys on her key ring. She suddenly realised that she had been trying to undo the door with the wrong key.

“Let me kiss you again.” Urs said, gently placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her to face him. “Let me prove it.”

“No, it’s wrong.” Kristina said, stepping back. “Tyler, I…”

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong.” Urs said, taking another step closer. “You moving to New York with a man that could never love you as much as I do; a man that you don‘t love.”

“What makes you think you know everything?” Kristina asked, her back now against the door. “You don’t know the first thing about me, or how I feel. You already admitted that this morning.”

“I know I love you.” Urs replied. “And I know you love me.”

“Shut up.” Kristina snapped, as she tried to push him away, so she could turn and open the door. “Sometimes I wish I’d never met you.”

“You know that’s not true.” Urs said, grabbing her wrists and pinning her against the door, so she couldn’t move. “Now be quiet and let me kiss you.”

“What makes you think I’m going to let you kiss me again?” Kristina asked, struggling against him.

“Because you want me to.” Urs replied, lowering his head.

“Let me go.” Kristina said, turning her head away from him, still struggling to get free. “Or I’ll… I’ll….”

“You’ll what?” Urs asked. “You’re helpless in this position.”

Kristina looked at Urs, then cast her gaze downwards and smirked.

“You don’t want to do that.” Urs said, when he realised where she was looking.

“Oh and why not?” Kristina asked, still smirking.

“Because you could do some serious damage.” Urs replied. “And that would ruin all my plans of us having children.”

Urs noticed the smirk suddenly disappear from Kristina’s face. As he looked into her eyes, he thought he saw that familiar sparkle. He thought she was happy at the thought of having children, and having his children. But it disappeared as fast as it had appeared, and was replaced with a look of sadness.

“You don’t want children?” Urs asked.

“Yes, I want children.” Kristina replied, faintly. “But I don’t think I ever will.”

“Why not?” Urs asked, frowning.

Kristina wanted nothing more than to marry Urs and have children. But it was yet another pipe dream. She hadn’t forgotten what Madame Endora had told her. She had to choose, Urs or Tyler. Kristina couldn’t see things getting that serious between her and Tyler. Madame Endora had told her that the relationship with Tyler would be a short one, and Kristina knew that although she had feelings for him, she couldn’t ever see them having children. She wasn’t even sure if Tyler wanted children. But then there was Urs. He obviously wanted children, with her. But Kristina knew that it would never happen, soon she would be in New York and Urs would still be in love with Aimee.

“I’m sorry, that was a very personal question.” Urs said, breaking the silence.

“It’s okay.” Kristina said, quietly, still leaning against the door.

“No it’s not.” Urs said, releasing his grip on her. “I’ve upset you, that’s not what I wanted.”

“No, I know what you wanted.” Kristina said, giving a weak smile.

“Can I have just one before I go?” Urs asked. “Just a small kiss on the cheek?”

“Then you’ll go?” Kristina asked.

“Then I’ll go.” Urs replied.

Urs slowly lowered his head and gently kissed Kristina on the cheek, before resting his cheek against hers.

Kristina couldn’t help but let out a small sigh as Urs kissed her, his warm cheek against hers, the smell of his skin filling her senses. This man was so hard to resist and she knew that it would kill her to leave him but it was killing her inside, having to see him every day and get through situations like this.

“Goodnight, Urs.” Kristina said, faintly, as she moved her head away slightly.

“Goodnight, Krissy.” Urs whispered, leaving another kiss on her cheek, then her jaw, before finally kissing her neck.

“Don’t do that.” Kristina said, turning her head so that they were cheek to cheek again.

“Why not?” Urs murmured. “You like it don’t you?”

“Yes.” Kristina sighed. “I mean…no, I….”

Kristina sighed again as Urs, slid his arms around her waist, pulling her to him, and started to leave a trail of kisses from her neck to her mouth. Just as Urs was about to kiss Kristina on the lips, the front door opened and Kristina and Urs fell in the doorway.

“Oops!” Natty said, quickly stepping back as Urs and Kristina fell in a heap on the hall floor. “Sorry, I heard voices but didn’t think anyone would be leaning against the door. What were you two doing?”

“Nothing!” Kristina said, quickly, as she pushed Urs off her. “I was just thanking Urs for today. He came with me to the hospital.”

“You must be Natty.” Urs said, helping Kristina up from the floor before getting to his feet and holding his hand out. “Krissy said you were staying with her for a while.”

“Yes, I’m over here doing some work.” Natty replied, shaking Urs‘ hand. “And you must be Urs. Kristina said you were good looking, but she didn’t tell me just ‘how’ good looking you were.”

Urs grinned and turned to Kristina.

“You think I’m good looking?” he asked her.

“Don’t let it go to your head, Buhler.” Kristina replied.

“Did you want to stay for dinner?” Natty asked. “I’ve got more than enough.”

“No, he can’t.” Kristina said, before Urs could reply. “He was just leaving.”

“Oh well, if you have to be somewhere…” Natty started to say.

“Nothing that can’t wait.” Urs replied; looking at Kristina, then Natty. “I would love to stay for dinner.”

“Okay, that’s settled then.” Natty said, smiling.

“I just need to get the bike helmets, I won‘t be a second.” Urs said, before rushing off down the path.

“Why did you do that?” Kristina asked. “Why did you invite him to dinner?”

“Because I want to see what all the fuss is about.” Natty replied. “All you’ve done since I’ve got here, is talk about the guy. I want to see if he’s as great as you say he is.”

“Need any help with making dinner?” Urs asked, as he approached the front door.

“No thanks.” Natty replied. “I’ve got everything covered. Why don’t you show Urs in to the lounge, Kristina? I’ll just go check on dinner.”

Kristina watched as Natty disappeared down the hall way.

“Why did you say yes?” Kristina asked. “You said you would go if I let you kiss me.”

“I couldn’t refuse.” Urs replied. “Now, where can I put these?” Urs asked, holding up the helmets.

“Don’t tempt me.” Kristina said, glaring at Urs.

***** CHAPTER 97 *****

Natty placed a huge bowl of Spaghetti Bolognese on the table and both Kristina and Urs looked at each other.

“Don’t start getting any ideas.” Urs said, jokingly, to Kristina.

“Behave yourself and you’ve got nothing to worry about.” Kristina replied, as she poured herself a glass of water.

“Did I miss something?” Natty asked, as she sat down at the table.

“When it was Kristina’s first day at Sony, we had a bit of a disagreement and…” Urs started to say.

“Excuse me?” Kristina interrupted. “That’s not how I remember it.”

“Okay, okay.” Urs said, holding his hands up in defeat. “I said something which was very cruel and Krissy decided that her dinner would look better on me, than on her plate.”

“And it was Spaghetti Bolognese?” Natty asked, putting her hand up to her mouth, trying not to laugh.

“Got it in one.” Urs said, chuckling. “Hey, that’s’ not why you invited me to dinner is it? You just wanted to tease me.”

“No, it’s the first I’ve heard about it.” Natty said, as she started to serve dinner.

“I can’t believe Krissy didn’t tell you.” Urs said, handing his plate to Natty.

“Well, it’s not exactly something I want to talk about.” Kristina replied, glancing at Urs. “You said some very hurtful things that day.”

“I know.” Urs said, quietly as he turned and looked at Kristina. “And I’m sorry.”

“So how did you get on at the hospital?” Natty asked, quickly changing the subject. “Was the check up okay?”

“Great.” Kristina replied, before taking a mouthful of water. “Susie said everything was fine.”

“That’s great news, babe.” Natty replied, as she handed Urs his plate, and took Kristina’s. “So I guess that means you’ve got the all clear to move to New York. That’s if you still want to go.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to go?” Kristina asked, looking confused. “New York’s my home.”

“Well, it’s just that you’ve made so many nice friends here in London and you love your job.” Natty said, shrugging her shoulders. “I’m surprised you would want to give all that up.”

“I have friends in New York.” Kristina replied, taking her plate from Natty. “And I’ll still be doing the same job. Besides, I‘m looking forward to going home and seeing my family.”

“But what about Abigail?” Urs asked. “She’s going to miss you if you leave.”

“Abigail will be fine.” Kristina replied, looking at Urs. “She’s been living in Spain for the last three years, so it’s not as if we’ve never been separated. She’s still has Carlos.”

“Well, I know I’ll definitely miss you, if you go.” Urs said, sadly.

“Not ‘if’ but ‘when’.” Kristina said, adamantly. “I’m going and that’s final, so can we please change the subject?”

Kristina remained silent for the rest of dinner. Her mind was busy, trying to process everything Susie had told her. Kristina hadn’t even told Urs, everything that Susie had told her that afternoon. Yes, her creatinine levels were high, she did have a slight temperature, and they were ‘possible‘ signs that her kidney was being rejected, but she couldn’t be sure. Kristina had then told her that for the past day or two, she had been getting a pain where she’d had the transplant. Susie didn’t want to worry her, but she suggested going in to hospital for a few days. That way, they could monitor her progress, change her medication and possibly carry out a biopsy. Apart from the usual blood tests, it was the only other way to know for certain. Kristina had told Susie that she would be leaving for New York at the weekend, so admitting her to hospital had been put on hold. But Susie was sending her file to Dr Slater, Kristina’s old doctor, to let him know the situation. Susie stressed that it was very important for her to see him, the moment she arrived in New York. Kristina assured her she would, but until then Kristina could only imagine what the future would be like. Of course, she would now have to tell Tyler everything. There was no way she could hide something like this, if it meant being hospitalised.

“Kristina?”

“Hmm?” Kristina looked up to see both Natty and Urs staring at her.

“Urs asked you if you were alright.” Natty replied. “Aren’t you hungry? You’ve hardly touched your food.”

“I’m sorry, Mic.” Kristina replied, pushing away the half eaten plate of food. “We ate earlier on and I didn‘t think you‘d be cooking.”

“It’s okay.” Natty said, patting her hand. “As long as you’ve eaten something, that’s all that matters. I don’t want you making yourself ill.”

“Excuse me.” Urs said, looking confused. “But who’s Mike?”

Natty giggled and a smile appeared on Kristina’s face.

“I’ll let you explain that one.” Kristina said, getting up from her seat and clearing away the plates. “Seeing as you cooked dinner, I’ll go and put these in the dishwasher.”

“Oh thanks a million.” Natty said, laughing. “Urs is going to think we’re both perverts when I tell him.”

As Kristina put the plates in the dishwasher and started to tidy up the kitchen she could hear Natty and Urs laughing, God knows what she had told him, she just hoped she didn’t give him all the gory details of how they had they called each other Mic and not Mike, as Urs probably interpreted it. Kristina bent down to put some rubbish in the bin and as she stood up she started to feel dizzy again. She decided to go up stairs and have a lie down, Natty and Urs wouldn’t miss her for a few minutes.

Urs and Natty had been talking for about half an hour, when Natty noticed that it was quiet in the kitchen and Kristina hadn’t returned.

“Perhaps I should go and check on her.” Natty commented. “I think she’s a little annoyed with me.”

“Let me.” Urs volunteered. “She’s probably angry with me, not you. We had a really nice day together and then I did something stupid and ruined it all.”

“What did you do?” Natty asked. “If that’s not too personal.”

“I… I kissed her.” Urs replied, blushing.

“You’re persistent, I’ll give you that.” Natty said, smiling.

“She’s told you?” Urs asked.

“Kristina‘s told me everything.” Natty replied, nodding her head. “I know how you feel about her.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without her.” Urs said, sadly. “She means the world to me, but nothing I say seems to make a blind bit of difference.”

“Urs, I know it’s hard but you can’t force her to stay.” Natty said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Kristina believes she’s doing the right thing, by going back to New York.”

“Do ‘you’ do think she’s doing the right thing?” Urs asked.

“It doesn’t matter what I think, Urs.” Natty replied. “She has her reasons for leaving.”

“So tell me.” Urs pleaded. “What can I say, to make her change her mind?”

“What ever Kristina has told me, she has told me in confidence.” Natty answered. “And I’m not going to abuse her trust.”

“But I love her, Natty.” Urs said, rubbing his forehead. “I love her and she loves me, it just doesn’t make any sense. You have to tell me why she’s leaving.”

“I can’t tell you, Urs.” Natty said, regretfully. “But one thing I will tell you is that she is confused. You need to be patient with her and have faith that she will come around when she is ready.”

Urs slumped back in his chair and began to relax.

“I admire your loyalty to Krissy.” Urs said, giving Natty a warm smile. “And thank you for taking the time to talk to me. I really appreciate it.”

“My pleasure, Urs.” Natty replied. “Now why don’t you go and check on Kristina. Her room is the first on the left.”

Natty got up from the table and started to head towards the kitchen and Urs followed.

“I’m glad we met today.” Urs said, giving Natty a quick hug. “And thanks for dinner. At least I wasn’t wearing it this time.”

They both began to laugh and Urs made his way upstairs to Kristina’s room.

Urs knocked lightly on the door and it opened slightly. The door squeaked as he pushed it open a little further and found Kristina laying on top of the bed sheets.

Kristina turned over, as the door squeaked and expected to see Natty. But there stood Urs, standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing up here?” Kristina asked, rubbing her eyes. “I would’ve thought you’d gone home by now.”

“Natty was worried that you were angry with her for inviting me to stay for dinner.” Urs replied. “And seeing as I’m probably the reason why you’re up here hiding, I offered to come and check on you.”

“I could never be angry with Natty.” Kristina replied. “She hasn’t got a mean bone in her body. And I’m not hiding, I just needed a lie down.”

“Feeling okay?” Urs asked,

“Just a little dizzy.” Kristina replied. “I think I’m tired.”

“Can I ask you something?” Urs said, walking over to her.

“I guess so.” Kristina replied, propping herself upon her elbows.

“Why did you lie to Natty? Why didn’t you tell her what Susie said?” Urs asked Kristina, as he sat down on the bed beside her.

“I’ve already told you.” Kristina replied. “I don’t want people to know, until I know what I’m dealing with.”

“But you told me.” Urs said, quietly.

“That was an accident.” Kristina said, lowering her eyes. “I never meant for anyone to find out. You just happened to be there when I started to feel ill.”

“Well, even if it was an accident, I’m just glad I was there.” Urs said, lightly resting his hand on her knee. “You shouldn’t have to go through this alone. You need someone you can talk to. What’s going to happen when you leave for New York?”

“I’ll be fine.” Kristina replied. “But that’s not your concern.”

“I enjoyed today.” Urs said, smiling, as he gently squeezed her knee.

“Yeah, it was fun.” Kristina said, a faint smile appearing on her face.

“Shame we can’t do it again.” Urs said, sadly.

“So, did Natty explain who Mic was?” Kristina asked, changing the subject.

“No she didn’t.” Urs replied, grinning. “But from the way she was blushing, I’m guessing you two were up to no good. She told me to ask you.”

“I’m not telling you.” Kristina said, laughing. “That’s between me and Natty.”

“I could always make you tell me.” Urs said, raising his eyebrows.

“And how do you propose to do that?” Kristina asked.

“Natty suggested that tickling you might work.” Urs said, smirking,

“I’m not ticklish!” Kristina said, a little too quickly, as she sat up.

“Prove it.” Urs said, as he started to tickle her.

Kristina began to giggle and tried to get off the bed. But Urs pushed her back on the bed and sat on her legs, and continued tickling her. Kristina started laughing and screaming as she struggled to get free.

“Tell me!” Urs said, tickling her sides. “Then I‘ll stop.”

“Never!” Kristina replied, between laughs. “I’m sworn to secrecy.”

“You’re going to tell me, one way or another.” Urs said, laughing.

“Stop it.” Kristina screamed, whilst laughing.

“Not until you tell me.” Urs said, as he continued to tickle her.

“Please! Stop!” Kristina said, as she started to cry with laughter.

“You just have to tell me and then I’ll stop.” Urs said, chuckling.

“Okay okay!” Kristina said, out of breath. “I’ll tell you but please stop.”

Urs stopped tickling Kristina, but as soon as he leant back, she tried to wriggle her legs free from under him and slide off the bed. But Urs was too quick for her, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back on the bed.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Urs asked, leaning over Kristina.

“No where.” Kristina said, giggling. “But I was wondering….”

“Yes?” Urs asked, smiling at her.

“Are you ticklish?” Kristina said, quickly reaching out for Urs and tickling him. Urs instantly rolled off her and fell back on the bed, laughing.

“I think that’s a yes.” Kristina said, chuckling, as she swapped places with Urs and sat on his legs. “Now I want you to promise me, that you will never tickle me again.”

“Okay, I promise.” Urs said, laughing.

“Oh, you give in too easily.” Kristina said, shaking her head and laughing. “Call yourself a man?”

“I’m sorry.” Urs said, chuckling. “Did I spoil your fun?”

Kristina didn’t answer, she simply stared at Urs. Silence fell, as their eyes locked together and for a second, she felt as if she knew Urs completely, that he was telling her the truth when he said he loved her. But then the doubt filled her mind again, as she remembered what Marius and Stephanie had said to her.

Could she ever have a relationship with Urs, never really knowing what he felt for her? She did love him, there was no denying it. But did she love him enough, to stay in London and live a lie? Was she willing to give up her only other chance of happiness with Tyler? Someone who genuinely wanted to be with her. Perhaps she could, yet she had no way of knowing unless she tried, but she didn’t know if she was willing to take the chance. The more she looked at Urs, lying on her bed, she found herself thinking that maybe she should try and make things work with Urs. Urs was the one she truly loved and she didn’t know if she could ever forgive herself for not telling him her true feelings for him. No matter how hard she tried, Kristina didn’t think she would ever stop loving him.

Urs’ gaze fell to Kristina’s mouth and he found himself struggling with the urge to kiss her again. But he remembered what Natty had said to him - to be patient. Urs held his breath, as Kristina suddenly reached out and started to entwine the curls in his hair, around her finger. Why the sudden change? She was no longer treating him like the unwanted dinner guest. Kristina let the curls drop back into place and softly brushed the backs of her fingers over his cheek, the days stubble lightly grazing her hand. She slowly ran her hand over his chest and down his side, feeling his muscles tense. Kristina could feel the warmth of his body, as she traced the outline of every muscle beneath her fingertips, through the thin fabric of his shirt.

The possibilities of what night happen next, started to flash through both their minds. Kristina could feel herself trembling at just the mere thought of making love to Urs. Urs opened his mouth to speak, but Kristina quickly silenced him, by placing a finger on his lips. She then leant down, tentatively, stopping only inches away from Urs’ mouth. She paused for a fraction of a second, as Urs parted his lips, almost daring her to kiss him. Kristina accepted the dare and kissed him, but it was a soft and hesitant kiss.

Kristina then pulled away and looked down at Urs. A kiss wasn’t enough, she wanted more and she knew that Urs was willing, she could tell by the look in his eyes. Kristina ran her hands back up over Urs stomach, to his chest, then his shoulders, running her hands down his arms. She kept her eyes on Urs, the whole time. He smiled at her and reached up, threading his fingers through her hair, pulling her back down to him before kissing her. Kristina kissed him back, but this time her need for Urs had become stronger and her confidence had grown. The soft hesitant kisses were gone, as she kissed him fervently, her tongue invading his mouth.

Urs wrapped his arms around her and slowly rolled her over. Kristina looked up at Urs, smiling, her face flushed and her blonde hair fanned out on the pillow.

“You’re so beautiful.” Urs whispered, as he lightly ran his thumb across her lips before kissing her hungrily.

Urs had waited so long for this moment. Kristina trembled, as Urs slid his hand under her jumper, lightly running his fingers over her stomach. With her heart beating loudly in her ears, Kristina fumbled nervously with the buttons on Urs’ shirt. Urs sensed this, he was just as nervous, but he took her hand and placed it on his chest, and she could feel the slow steady heartbeat under her palm. Kristina gradually relaxed, and with Urs’ hand over hers, she slowly and steadily started to undo his shirt.

It wasn’t long before all the buttons were undone and Kristina had slid the shirt off Urs’ shoulders, and down his back, before helping him take it off. She then pushed him off her and rolled him back on the bed, so she was on top again. Kristina leant forward and placed a small kiss on Urs’ forehead, then his nose and his chin. Urs’ breathing became slow and heavy as Kristina kissed the column of his throat, the curve of his neck, and then gently nipped at the skin on his collarbone. Urs ran his hands down to the small of her back, pulling her closer to him. Did she have any idea of what she was doing to him? But Kristina pulled away and continued kissing him, this time covering his chest in small light kisses. Urs’ stomach muscles clenched as Kristina’s kisses went lower and lower, until she reached the waistband on his jeans. Kristina slowly worked her way back up, her lips finding Urs’ mouth once again, as she reached between them and tugged at his belt, undoing the button on his jeans.

“Krissy, wait.” Urs said, suddenly, as he took hold of her wrist with one hand, clasping her face with the other.

“What’s wrong, Urs?” she asked, looking up at him, worriedly. “Don’t you want to?”

“Of course I want to.” Urs said, smiling. “More than anything. But… but I need to be sure this is what you want. I don’t want you to do something that you might later regret. No more games. Are you sure this is what you want?”

Kristina opened her mouth to speak, but paused, when the sound of the doorbell rang through the house. She could hear voices, Natty was talking to someone; she thought she recognised the voice.

“Krissy?” Urs looked at her, questioningly. “Is this what you want?”

“Tyler.” Kristina said, pushing herself off Urs and quickly getting off the bed.

“What?” Urs said, confused.

“Tyler’s downstairs.” Kristina replied, as she smoothed down her clothes and straightened her hair.

“I don’t care who’s downstairs.” Urs replied, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. “We need to talk.”

“Not now, please.” Kristina said, trying to avoid looking at Urs, who was now standing there shirtless with his jeans undone. “Now is not a good time.”

“When then?” Urs asked, stepping closer to Kristina.

“I’ll call you later.” Kristina replied, as she picked up Urs‘ shirt and handed it to him. “I’m sorry, Urs, I hate running out on you but I have to go downstairs. I can‘t let him come up here and see us like this.”

“Krissy?” Urs said, following her to the bedroom door. “One more thing.”

Kristina turned to face Urs. Without any warning Urs cupped her face in his hands and kissed her hard.

“I love you, Krissy.” Urs whispered, as he pulled away, leaving Kristina breathless.

Kristina gently caressed his cheek and smiled at him. Did he really love her? Kristina was beginning to think it wasn’t important any more, it just felt so right being with Urs. Kristina then turned and opened the door, and closed it quietly behind her.

As Urs started to put his shirt back on, he thought about what might have been had Tyler not shown up. Who knows, he and Kristina could’ve been lovers by now. But Urs still wasn’t sure how things stood between him and Kristina. She still hadn’t told him she loved him, even though they had taken things a little further than just good friends.

Urs then wondered what he should do next. Was he supposed to wait until Tyler had left? No that would seem odd, Tyler would’ve seen his bike parked outside and was bound to ask where he was. But how did he explain being there? What did it matter? He was still friends with Kristina, he didn’t have to tell Tyler the truth. But it wouldn’t hurt to give him something to think about, Urs thought to himself, a smirk appearing on his face. Urs opened the bedroom door and walked down the hall. As he approached the top of the stairs, Urs could hear Tyler’s voice clearly. Urs did up his belt and then the last few buttons on his shirt, as he calmly walked down the stairs.

***** CHAPTER 98 *****

“Hello Tyler.” Urs said, when he reached the bottom of the stairs. He had just finished doing up the last button on his shirt.

“Hello Urs.” Tyler said, smiling through gritted teeth. “Kristina, can we go somewhere and talk?”

“Sure, we can go out the back.” Kristina replied.

“Krissy, I thought you were going to show me out.” Urs said, as he slipped his jacket on and picked up one of the helmets.

“The door‘s right there.” Tyler said, coldly, nodding at the front door.

“Tyler, why don’t you go through to the back.” Kristina said, quietly. “Ill just say goodbye to Urs, I won’t be a minute.”

“Okay.” Tyler said, reluctantly, as he walked away.

“I’ll make myself scarce.” Natty said, smiling, as she disappeared upstairs.

Kristina opened the door and followed Urs outside, leaving the front door on the latch.

“When are you going to tell Tyler?” Urs asked, placing the helmet on the wall, before turning to face Kristina.

“Tell Tyler what?” Kristina replied.

“About us, silly.” Urs said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“I… I don’t know.” Kristina said, awkwardly, turning her head away.

“Okay, well you don’t have to tell him everything.” Urs replied, placing a kiss on her cheek. “But you still have to tell him that you’re not going to New York with him.”

Kristina didn’t reply; she was thinking. Should she tell Tyler, about Urs and what nearly happened between them? Or should she stay in London, with Urs? When it was just the two of them, everything seemed so right but now that Tyler was here, and Stephanie and Marius were still in the back of her mind, it was if she had been dragged back from reality. She felt confused again. She might love Urs, but could they really spend the rest of their lives together, when Kristina would constantly doubt his love for her? She didn’t want to live that way. How could she be happy knowing her whole life would be a farce?

“Krissy?” Urs said, uneasily, when he noticed the troubled look on her face. “You are going to tell him, aren’t you? That you’ve changed your mind and that you’re staying in London.”

“I… I’m still going to New York.” Kristina said, unable to look Urs in the eye.

“What?” Urs said, in disbelief. “But why? What for? I don‘t understand.”

“I have to go.” Kristina replied, swallowing hard and trying to hold back the tears. “It’s for the best.”

“For the best?” Urs said, pulling away. “The best for who?”

“For me, for both of us.” Kristina replied. “In time, you’ll understand why I have to leave.”

“But… but what about just now, upstairs?” Urs said, weakly. “What would’ve happened if Tyler hadn’t shown up? Would you have gone through with it?”

Kristina closed her eyes and lowered her head. She was sure that she would’ve made love to Urs. But she wasn’t sure if it would’ve stopped her leaving London. Was that wrong of her; using Urs to see how she felt before telling him she loved him? But surely he was doing the same thing to her, using her as a replacement for Aimee. Except Urs didn’t know what he was doing, where as Kristina was fully aware of her actions.

“Krissy, I asked you if you were sure it was what you wanted.” Urs said, looking at her, waiting for a response. “You didn’t answer me, but now I want an answer. Was it what you wanted?”

“Yes.” Kristina said, ever so faintly. “It was.”

“So why are you still going to New York?” Urs asked. “If we had taken things further, would it have meant anything to you? Or would it have simply been a one night stand?”

“A one night stand? No!” Kristina said, shocked at such a suggestion. “It wouldn’t have been like that at all.”

“Then explain it to me.” Urs said, his eyes starting to fill with tears. “Because I sure as hell don’t understand. You say one thing and do another. You’re playing games, Krissy and I don’t know how much more I can take.”

“Then maybe we should just forget it.” Kristina said, as her own eyes started to fill with tears. “I kept telling you that I didn’t love you. If you had just accepted it, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation now.”

“You still deny that you love me…” Urs said, shaking his head. “…yet you were prepared to sleep with me.”

Kristina bit her lip as Urs stood looking at her, tears running down his face.

“I thought you were different, Krissy.” Urs said, as he picked up the cycle helmet and slowly walked down the path to where his bike was parked. He swung his leg over the bike, started the engine and put on his helmet. He took one look at Kristina before pulling out from the kerb and riding off down the street.

Kristina leant back against the wall, and closed her eyes as tears fell freely. What had she done? She had built up his hopes only to hurt him more than ever. She hated herself for hurting him, when all he had ever done was to show her love. Kristina slid down the wall, and put her head in her hands, as she cried quietly to herself. She wasn’t sure what felt worse. Knowing that she had lost the respect of Urs, or that he was only in love with her because of Aimee. Either way, she now knew that New York was where she was meant to be.

Kristina had no idea how long she had been sitting on the front step, when Natty opened the door.

“Kristina?” Natty said, worriedly, when she saw her sitting there, her eyes red from crying. “What happened?”

“Oh Natty.” Kristina sobbed, as Natty bent down and hugged her tightly. “Everything is such a mess and now I think Urs hates me.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you.” Natty said, reassuringly. “But tell me, why would you think he hates you? I thought everything was going well. I heard the two of you laughing not all that long ago.”

“Urs… I… we got carried away and…” Kristina hung her head in shame, tears rolling off her cheeks. “I wanted him, Natty. I needed to be with him, I had to know if it was real. But I didn’t get the chance to find out, because Tyler showed up and now Urs thinks it would’ve been a one night stand. But it wouldn’t, it would’ve been so much more to me. I wanted to share something special with him, something that I don’t think I’ll ever have with anyone else.”

“I’m sure if you explain that to Urs, he will understand.” Natty answered. “I still don’t understand why you can’t just tell him that you know about Aimee.”

“Because it will only upset him and embarrass me.” Kristina replied. “It’s best if he doesn’t know.”

“Are you still going to New York?” Natty asked.

Kristina nodded.

“How can I stay here after what I’ve done to Urs.” Kristina said, wiping her eyes. “There’s no way we can work together after today. I have to go.”

“What about Tyler?” Natty asked, helping Kristina to her feet. “Are you going to tell him any of this?”

“I know I should.” Kristina replied. “But I’m scared. I still haven’t told him about today’s appointment with Susie. He might not want all the extra baggage if I’m ill. I have to tell him about that, I owe him that much.”

“If you’re ill?” Natty said, frowning. “But I thought you said everything was fine.”

“I… I might need to go in to hospital.” Kristina said, quietly.

“Kristina, why didn‘t you tell me?” Natty said, sadly.

“I didn‘t want to worry you.” Kristina replied. “And I just thought that the less people that knew about it the better. I‘m not even sure what‘s wrong with me.”

“You’re a strange one, babe.” Natty said, shaking her head. “But promise me, if you need to talk, if you‘re worried about anything, you‘ll tell me. Okay?”

“Okay.” Kristina said, smiling.

“Good. Now, if you’re up to it, Tyler is still waiting for you.” Natty said, opening the front door. “Will you be alright?”

“I’ll be fine.” Kristina said, smiling weakly. “Thanks Natty.”

“You’re welcome.” Natty said, giving her another hug. “If you need me, just shout.”

As Natty, went back upstairs, Kristina took a deep breath and made her way to the back of the house, where Tyler was patiently waiting for her. Kristina had no idea what she was going to say to Tyler.

As she opened the door to the back room, Tyler stood up from his seat.

“So, are you going to tell me what Urs was doing here?” Tyler said, sounding somewhat irritated.

Kristina nervously bit her lip, as she tried desperately to think of an answer.

***** CHAPTER 99 *****

“There’s something I need to tell you.” Kristina replied, closing the door behind her.

“It’s Urs, isn’t it.” Tyler said, flopping back down in his chair. “You’ve changed your mind about New York. He’s talked you out of it.”

“No, no, he hasn’t.” Kristina said, shaking her head. “I’m still going to New York, but there’s something you need to know first.”

“Does it have anything to do with why Urs was here?” Tyler asked, warily.

“Yes.” Kristina replied. “Urs…he… he took me to the hospital this morning.”

“The hospital?” Tyler said, worriedly. “What’s wrong? Did you have an accident? Are you hurt?”

“Tyler, I’m fine.” Kristina said, reassuringly. “But will you please just listen.”

“Okay, I‘m sorry.” Tyler replied. “Carry on.”

“I’ve never told you this before, but a few years ago, I was ill.” Kristina continued. “I was diagnosed with kidney failure.”

“Heck, Kristina!” Tyler said, shocked. “I never realised.”

“I had to go on dialysis for a while.” Kristina said, faintly, as she remembered her ordeal. “But Abigail was a match for a donor, and she donated one of her kidneys.”

“So are you okay now?” Tyler asked. “What was the hospital appointment for?”

“That’s what I need to talk to you about.” Kristina said, lowering her voice. “I was due to have one last check up on Wednesday before leaving for New York. But I phoned the hospital this morning and they brought the appointment forward, after I told them about the symptoms I‘ve been having over the last few days.”

“That’s why you were ill in Italy? Why didn’t you call me?” Tyler asked. “I would’ve come with you. You didn’t have to call Urs.”

“I was due to go with Abigail but she wasn’t feeling well this morning and had to cancel.” Kristina replied. “I needed someone with me, and Urs already knew about my past illness. I just needed someone there who already knew, I didn’t want to have to start explaining everything. I was nervous enough as it was.”

“Okay, I guess I can understand that. So what did they say?” Tyler asked. “Is everything alright?”

“They’re not sure.” Kristina said, weakly. “When we get to New York, there’s a possibility that I will have to go in to hospital for some tests. They think my kidney might be failing.”

“Oh Kristina, I wish you had told me all this before.” Tyler said, getting up from his chair and kneeling in front of her. “I wish I could‘ve been there for you this morning.”

“Really?” Kristina asked. “And will you still want to be there in a few months time, if my kidney fails completely and I’m back on dialysis? I’ll be on there for several hours a day, several days a week. Will you be able to put up with my mood swings, when I’m crying one minute, cursing the next, locking myself away in my room? Will you still be there when I can’t take it anymore, wishing I was dead?”

“Kristina, don’t talk like that please.” Tyler said, shocked. “Dialysis isn’t the end of the world, if it keeps you alive then surely that’s great, isn’t it?”

“Is it?” Kristina said, as tears started to slide down her cheeks. “I’ve been through it once before, Tyler and I had David with me. I won‘t lie to you, it was tough on both of us. So I‘ll understand if you want to put this relationship on hold until we know the results of the tests.”

“On hold? What sort of a relationship would that be? I’m not putting anything on hold.” Tyler said, softly as he smiled up at her. “If you’re ill, then I’ll be there with you the whole time. I’ve no idea what’s going to happen but I’m not going to take you to America and then leave you to get through this alone. I’m not going to leave your side. Do you understand?”

“Yes.” Kristina nodded, smiling through her tears. “I understand. But I’m so scared, Tyler. I really don’t know if I can do this all again.”

“You’ll be fine.” Tyler said, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tightly. “You’ll be fine. I’ll look after you.”

“There’s just one thing, Tyler.” Kristina said, pulling away. “The only other person that knows is Natty, so please don’t tell anyone just yet.”

“You mean Urs doesn’t know, even though he went with you this morning?” Tyler asked.

“No,” Kristina said, shaking her head. “I told him that there was a small chance it might be failing. But I told him it just meant changing my medication. I didn’t mention going in to hospital.”

“Okay, I won’t say a word.” Tyler agreed. “Just yours, mine and Natty’s little secret.”

“Thank you, Tyler.” Kristina said, hugging him.

“But now, can I ask you something?” Tyler asked.

“What is it?” Kristina replied.

“If the appointment was this morning….” Tyler paused. “What was Urs still doing here?”

“This might sound silly, but Urs took me to see a friend of his who runs a race track for motorcycles.” Kristina said, truthfully. “I’ve never been on one before, and this guy, Deano, he taught me how to ride one. Then we came back here and Natty invited him to stay for dinner. I had no idea she was going to ask him.”

“Okay, but there’s something else I need to ask you.” Tyler said, uneasily. “When Urs came downstairs, a couple of minutes after you, I saw him…doing up his shirt and… is there something I should know?”

The muscles in Kristina’s face tightened. What should she say? Should she lie or be honest with him? Kristina hated lying, and she had told herself that there would be no secrets between her and Tyler. But if she told him the truth, would he seriously want to continue their relationship? It wasn’t fair on him, she had to be honest.

“Tyler, I… we didn’t…. I mean… we kissed but….” Kristina lowered her eyes, and shook her head, unable to look Tyler in the eye. “You must hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Kristina.” Tyler said, getting up from his kneeling position on the floor. “But I’m not going to deny that I’m hurt and disappointed. I thought you were trying to get over him and start a new relationship with me. You‘re worried that I‘m going to dessert you when I find out you might be ill, yet here you are, upstairs with him doing God knows what.”

“We only kissed.” Kristina said, standing up. “Nothing more.”

“Since when does kissing involve him having to do up his shirt and belt? I’m not blind you know.” Tyler said, sarcastically. “Where exactly were you kissing him?”

“Tyler!” Kristina exclaimed. “I told you, it wasn’t like that.”

“You’re right, perhaps we should put this relationship on hold.” Tyler said, walking over to the window and staring out in to the garden. “It’s obvious you’re not even willing to try and forget about Urs.”

“Tyler, please.” Kristina pleaded, as she walked over to where he was standing. “I am willing, but it’s not that easy to stop loving someone. I can‘t just flick a switch and change over night.”

“But you’re not helping yourself.” Tyler said, keeping his back to her. “You keep telling me you want to forget him but then something like this happens.”

Tyler was right. Kristina kept telling him that she wanted their relationship to work but then something would happen and Urs would be involved. When she was ill, Urs was there, when she went to the hospital, Urs took her. Kristina felt guilty, when she realised that Tyler wasn’t even aware of the kisses that they had shared, or that Urs had spent the night in her hotel room, when they were in Italy.

“If you’re really willing to give this relationship a go and you still want to go to New York with me, then I want you to do something for me.” Tyler said, finally turning around to face her.

“Anything.” Kristina agreed. “Just name it.”

“Prove to me that you’re serious about our relationship by quitting the campaign.” Tyler said, staring at Kristina.

“Quit the campaign?” Kristina said, frowning. “But why? There’s only four more days left before we leave for New York.”

“I know.” Tyler replied. “But I don’t want you any where near Urs. I think it‘s best if you keep away from him.”

“But Tyler, it’s my first big campaign.” Kristina said, still shocked at Tyler‘s suggestion. “If I quit from it now, it will look like I can‘t handle it. I might never get another chance like this.”

“You forget who you’re working for.” Tyler commented. “I can over rule anyone’s decision, being the bosses son.”

“Thanks, but no thanks. I‘d rather be unemployed.” Kristina said, walking back to the chair and sitting down. “If I run a high profile campaign, I want to be doing it because of my intelligence and the ability to do my job. Not because I‘m ‘in bed’ with the boss, so to speak.”

“Well, that’s my offer.” Tyler said, heading for the door. “Take it or leave it.”

Kristina sat there for several seconds, before jumping up out of the chair and hurrying after Tyler.

“Tyler, wait!” Kristina said, just as he had opened the front door. “There must be some other way of proving it to you. I’ll do anything but please, don’t bring my career in to this. This is one of the reasons why I said I would never date work colleagues. Things get messy.”

“Yes, but you broke that rule yet again, Kristina, didn‘t you?” Tyler replied. “First David, and now me. Should I include Urs in this equation?”

“You’re not being fair, Tyler.” Kristina said frowning. “You said you would be here, for as long as it takes for me to get over Urs. And now you’re making me quit my job?”

“Fair? I’m not being fair? I think I’ve been pretty reasonable up until now.” Tyler hissed. “I said I would be with you for as long it takes, but I didn’t think I would have to stand by and put up with this sort of thing. You said you only kissed, but for all I know, you two could’ve been at it like rabbits all afternoon.”

Kristina made a move to slap Tyler across the cheek, but he predicted it and grabbed her wrist.

“What‘s wrong?” Tyler asked. “Did I touch a nerve?”

“We only kissed.” Kristina said, eyes blazing. It was the truth, but she wasn’t about to tell him what might have happened, if he hadn’t shown up when he did.

“I must be a fool to still want you, Kristina.” Tyler said, releasing her wrist. “But call me when you’ve made your decision.”

He then turned and walked down the path to his car. After Tyler had driven off, Kristina went back inside and made her way up to her room. She met Natty on the landing.

“Everything okay, hun?” Natty asked.

“Can we talk about this tomorrow?” Kristina said, smiling weakly. “I’m really not in the mood right now.”

“Of course we can.” Natty replied, giving her a hug. “You go and get some rest. You look a little tired.”

Kristina continued on to her room and after closing her door, she threw herself down on the bed and buried her face in the pillow, as she started to cry. How had it come to this? Everything was such a mess and it was all her doing. She had managed to hurt both a man she loved and a man she cared for. Both of them were hurt and disappointed because she couldn’t control her feelings. As Kristina lay on the bed, her nose was suddenly filled with the scent of Urs. It must’ve been from where he was laying on her bed a short while ago. Kristina took the pillow and held it tightly, as she rested her head against it and cried herself to sleep. The days events, with the hospital, Urs and Tyler, had taken their toll on her and she now felt scared, helpless, alone and confused.

***** CHAPTER 100 *****

Kristina looked at the clock, 5.59am. She was waiting for the alarm to go off, before getting up and having a shower. She’d hardly slept a wink that night, only getting about an hours sleep, after tossing and turning. She was struggling to come to terms with the fact that she might have to go back on dialysis and that she had hurt both Urs and Tyler in the space of a few hours. She was also still undecided about Tyler’s ultimatum. Kristina genuinely cared for Tyler but her career had always been important to her. It became even more important to her, after breaking up with David and trying to get over her feelings for Urs. She had thrown herself headfirst in to her work, not leaving herself a spare minute for a social life. Her love life had taken a back seat over the last few years.

The alarm finally went off at 6am and Kristina dragged herself out of bed. She felt groggy from lack of sleep, her head was thumping, and her eyes were red and puffy, from crying most of the night. The shower had done little to wake Kristina up, and she knew that if she was ill, she would have to get used to feeling this way, seeing as it was one of the symptoms of kidney failure. Even the make up she applied couldn’t hide her tiredness, the dark circles under her eyes and the fact that she had been crying. Kristina opened the wardrobe and looked at the clothes inside, sighing deeply. She didn’t have the energy or the inclination to dress up in her usual work suits. She wanted to wear something she felt comfortable in and could relax in. In the end, Kristina closed the wardrobe and instead, took out a pair of blue jeans and a soft pink jumper from a chest of drawers. At this moment in time, she didn’t care what people thought of her dressing this way. Kristina got dressed, picked up a pair of white trainers, and made her way downstairs.

Kristina went in to the kitchen. Natty must still be in bed, she thought to herself, as she filled up the kettle and waited for it to boil. Kristina’s mobile then beeped. She looked over to the other counter, where she had left it overnight to recharge. It was a message from David.

“How are you feeling? Tyler told me you phoned in sick yesterday.”

Kristina text David back, telling him that everything was fine and that she would see him in the office later on. The kettle clicked and switched itself off, and as Kristina started to make herself some tea, a sleepy Natty stumbled in to the kitchen, rubbing her eyes.

“Morning sleepyhead.” Kristina said, smiling when she saw her. “Want one?” she added, holding up a mug of tea.

“I’d rather have a coffee, please.” Natty replied, as she sat down at the kitchen table. “Geeez I hate mornings, you’d better make that a black coffee.”

“Sorry, I haven’t got any.” Kristina said, frowning. “I don’t like it and besides, I can’t have caffeine, remember?”

“Oh that’s right, I forgot.” Natty said, apologetically. “Tea will be fine then. I’ll pop to the shops later and get some. Anything you need while I‘m there?”

“I don’t think anything from a supermarket will cure my morning blues.” Kristina replied, placing a mug of tea in front of Natty, as she sat down.

“Aren’t you going to work today?” Natty asked, when she noticed Kristina wasn‘t in her usual work clothes. “You don’t normally dress like that for work.”

“Yes, I’m going to work.” Kristina replied. “And I’m dressed like this because… because I fancied a change.”

“Okay, but I think there’s more to it that you just wanting a change.” Natty said, gently blowing on her tea. “I can tell when something’s troubling you.”

“I’m confused.” Kristina said, running her finger around the top of her mug. “Tyler gave me an ultimatum yesterday and now I don‘t know what to do.”

“Want to talk about it?” Natty asked.

“I was hoping you would say that.” Kristina said, smiling weakly. “You always seem to talk sense and make things clearer in my head.”

“Come on then.” Natty replied, smiling. “What’s the ultimatum?”

“Tyler doesn’t think I’m taking the relationship seriously.” Kristina said, sighing. “And maybe he’s right. But I want to and I still want to go to New York with him. He wants me to prove it to him by quitting the campaign.”

“But that’s absurd.” Natty said, shocked. “What would that prove? Other than the fact that you‘re willing to let him control your life. You’re not going to do it, are you?”

“I don’t know.” Kristina replied. “But Tyler doesn’t want me to be around Urs. I really do want to give it a go with Tyler and if it means doing this, to show him I’m serious, then I guess have no other choice.”

“I think he’s being very unfair.” Natty said, leaning back in her chair. “I think you’d be unwise to quit. This is your career we’re talking about. Who’s to say that six months down the line, you and Tyler will still be together, whether it be because of Urs or not. But that’s just my opinion.”

“So what do you think I should do?” Kristina asked. “Tell him I’m not going to quit?”

“Why can’t you come to a compromise?” Natty suggested. “If Tyler’s so worried about you and Urs working together, why don’t you go back to working from the Cavendish offices? The only reason you’re in the same building as Urs was because of Simon. Let Tyler stay there.”

“Do you think he’ll go for it?” Kristina said, suddenly sounding hopeful.

“I don’t know, it’s just a suggestion.” Natty said, shrugging her shoulders.

“Well, it sounds like a great one to me.” Kristina said, getting up from her chair and hugging Natty. “Thanks, I knew you would come up with something. You always amaze me!”

“I amaze ‘myself’ sometimes.” Natty said, shrugging.

“I guess I should get going then.” Kristina said, picking up her bag and coat. “I’ll see you tonight, or maybe sooner, depending on how Tyler takes the news. He might just decide to fire me on the spot.”

“Don’t do anything rash, Kristina.” Natty said, standing up and following her in to the hall. “You’ve only known him a few weeks. If he doesn’t go for it, you need to think about what’s best for you and your future. I don’t mean to sound like a pessimist, but if Tyler doesn’t trust you, then maybe the relationship is already off to a bad start.”

“I know what you’re saying.” Kristina said, as she put her coat on. “And don’t worry, if Tyler doesn’t go for this, then I’ve decided, I’m not going to quit.”

Kristina opened the door and headed off to work, thinking about what she was going to say to Tyler.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Kristina entered the reception, she was immediately greeted by David.

“I got your text.” David said, kissing her on the cheek. “I’ll admit I was a little bit worried, after you being ill in Italy.”

“I’m fine.” Kristina said, patting him on the arm. “Nothing for you to worry about.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” David said, winking. “But we’re a bit concerned about Urs. He‘s gone missing.”

“Missing?” Kristina said, somewhat surprised. “What do you mean, missing?”

“Exactly what I said.” David replied. “He’s gone missing. He was supposed to meet up with Sebastien last night, but he never showed up. So Seb phoned Julianna and she hadn’t seen him all day. Seb tried his mobile again this morning to see what time he would be coming in for rehearsals, but still no reply. Then Julianna phoned not all that long ago to say he hadn’t come home.”

Kristina was naturally worried about Urs and wondered if she had anything to do with his disappearance. She hoped to God that he was alright and that he hadn’t done anything silly. No, she thought to herself, Urs wasn’t like that. He was a sensible guy. She might have upset him but he didn’t strike her as the type of person who would do something drastic. But then he did look pretty upset when he left her yesterday evening.

“Krissy?” David said, breaking the silence. “Do you know where he is?”

“No, I... I don’t.” Kristina said, shaking her head. “I don’t know where he is.”

“Are you sure?” David asked, noticing the strange look on her face.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Kristina said, truthfully. “I don’t know where he is.”

“You two haven’t argued again have you?” David said, warily.

“Not exactly.” Kristina said, frowning. “But we… something happened yesterday and… he was upset.”

“Krissy, what happened?” David asked, taking her by the arm and leading her over to the elevator.

“I’d rather not talk about it, if you don’t mind.” Kristina replied, as they stepped in to the elevator.

“I do mind.” David replied, firmly. “I’m not being nosy here, Krissy, but if something happened between you and Urs, I need to know. If he’s done something stupid, this is going to effect all of us.”

Kristina closed her eyes and cringed, as she recalled the events of yesterday, the look on Urs’ face when she told him that she wasn’t staying in London, the look of pain in his eyes, when she still denied that she loved him, but was willing to sleep with him. Did he really think that she was that type of woman, one who would sleep around?

“Krissy.” David said, tightening his grip on her arm. “Tell me, now!”

“No, I can’t.” Kristina said, her throat tightening as she tried to fight back the tears. “It’s private. We didn’t argue but he got upset again, when I told him that I wasn’t staying in London. I… I did something that made him think I’d changed my mind. But if I think he’s done something stupid? No, I don’t think so. There’s probably a perfectly simple explanation for why he’s disappeared.”

“Yeah? Well, I’ve been trying to think of one ever since I first heard he was missing.” David replied, as they stepped out of the elevator and headed towards Kristina’s office. “And I can’t think of anything.”

Kristina opened the door and found Tyler already there, sitting at his desk.

He looked up at Kristina, a blank expression on his face, then he noticed David behind her.

“Hi, Kristina.” Tyler said, getting up from his seat. “I didn’t expect to see you here today.”

“Apparently she’s feeling much better this morning.” David interrupted.

Both Tyler and Kristina knew what he really meant. He wasn’t expecting to see her in the office, as he was hoping she would quit the campaign.

“Morning David.” Tyler said, shaking his hand. “Everything okay?”

“Actually, no.” David replied, sighing. “Urs has gone missing.”

Kristina looked briefly at Tyler, before walking over to her desk and hanging her jacket on the back of her chair.

“No one has seen him since yesterday.” David continued. “His sister called to say that he didn’t come home last night. She said it’s not like him at all, so she’s already started phoning around the hospitals, as the police won’t do anything until he’s been officially missing for twenty four hours.”

“I’m sure he’s fine.” Tyler replied. “He seems like the sort of guy that can look after himself. But let me know as soon as you hear anything.”

“Of course.” David replied. “I suppose I had better go and tell Simon that one of his future stars has done a disappearing act. I‘ll speak to you later.”

David exited the room, leaving nothing but an uncomfortable silence between Tyler and Kristina.

“So, seeing as you’re here today, does that means you’ve made your decision?” Tyler said, finally speaking. “You’re not going to quit?”

“I don’t like being pressured into making decisions, Tyler.” Kristina replied, sitting down at her desk.

“I wasn’t pressuring you.” Tyler replied, sitting on the edge of her desk. “It’s a simple enough decision. If you’re serious about us, it shouldn’t be that hard to decide.”

“It might be simple for you.” Kristina said, glaring at Tyler. “Because you’re not the one having to make the decision between your personal life and your career. But I’ve decided, I’m not going to quit.”

“So that‘s it?” Tyler asked. “Are you sure you don’t want more time to think about it?”

“I don’t need more time to think.” Kristina replied. “But I’m going to make you an offer.”

“Go on then, let me hear it.” Tyler said, folding his arms.

“Despite what you think, I am serious about this relationship.” Kristina said, leaning back in her chair. “I’m not going to quit, just because of your… insecurities, no matter how justified they are. But if you’re that worried, I’ll continue with the campaign back at Cavendish. That way I won‘t have to deal with Urs.”

Tyler chewed his lip, whilst deep in thought, thinking about Kristina’s suggestion.

“I guess it could work.” Tyler said, after a few minutes. “But what’s to say Urs won’t come and visit you at Cavendish?”

“Even if I quit the campaign, what’s to stop Urs from visiting me at home?” Kristina replied.

“True.” Tyler agreed. “Alright, if you’re okay with that, then I’m quite happy for you to work at the other office.”

“I’m not exactly happy about it, Tyler.” Kristina said, getting up from her chair. “Don’t think that for one minute. But if it makes you feel better….”

The door the suddenly burst open, and Carlos appeared in the doorway.

“Kristina, sorry to interrupt.” Carlos said, noticeably out of breath. “But I thought you should know.”

“What is it, Carlos?” Kristina asked, suddenly worried. “Is Abigail okay?”

“Abby’s fine, still feeling a little sick, but she’s fine.” Carlos replied. “But that’s not why I’m here. It’s Urs. There’s been an accident.”

*****CHAPTER 101 *****

“An accident?” Kristina said, her eyes widening with shock, her heart beating rapidly. “What sort of accident? How bad is he? Is he alright?”

“I don’t know all the details.” Carlos replied. “Julianna phoned Simon a couple of minutes ago. All I know is that he was admitted to the Royal Marsden Hospital last night. Simon’s arranging some transport now.”

Kristina rushed back to her desk and picked up her jacket.

“Kristina, where are you going?” Tyler said, grabbing hold of her arm, as she was about to walk past him.

“Where do you think I’m going?” Kristina replied, frowning at him. “The Royal Marsden.”

“But why?” Tyler asked, still holding on to her arm.

“Didn’t you hear what Carlos said?” Kristina asked, trying to pull away from him.

“I heard.” Tyler replied. “But why are you going? I thought we had a deal.”

“We still have a deal.” Kristina replied, removing Tyler’s hand from her arm. “But I have to see Urs.”

“And you think that by you going to the hospital is going to make any difference?” Tyler asked. “His sister will be there, there’s no need for you to go.”

“But I have to see him.” Kristina said, putting her jacket on. “I want to make sure he’s alright.”

“The doctors will make sure he’s okay.” Tyler replied. “Why don’t you start collecting the work you need and head over to Cavendish instead?”

“But Tyler…” Kristina said, in disbelief.

“Kristina, please.” Tyler said, as he started to gather some papers from her desk. “I’m sure Julianna will keep Simon up to date on Urs’ condition. So come on, please, show me that you’re at least trying to make an effort.”

“I am making an effort.” Kristina snapped. “But I’m beginning to wonder why I’m even bothering. How can you be like this? He’s in hospital Tyler!”

“But you have to leave him be.” Tyler replied. “ What would you do if we were in New York right now? Would you drop everything to come and see him?”

“I understand what you’re trying to say but I’m not in New York, and Urs is still a friend.” Kristina replied, picking up her bag. “He came with me to the hospital yesterday, and so the least I can do is go and see how he is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going with the others.”

Kristina followed Carlos out the door and headed downstairs, to where Simon, David and Sebastien were waiting. Kristina knew Tyler was right; she couldn’t just drop everything, as soon as something happened to Urs. But Kristina was desperate to see him and make sure he was okay. She knew she might be ruining things with Tyler, but surely he could see how important this was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon had arranged for a car to take all of them to the hospital. No one spoke as they made their way through the London traffic, to the Royal Marsden. As soon as she entered the hospital, it suddenly hit Kristina that Urs could be seriously injured. He’d been kept in hospital over night so it must’ve been bad, but how come no one had informed Julianna until now? Surely he must have had some I.D. on him, so that they could contact family. Kristina followed the others to the nurses station, where Simon made enquiries about Urs’ condition. The nurse understood they were worried, but told them she wasn’t allowed to give out any details, unless they were family. Simon then asked if his sister, Julianna, was with him. The nurse told him where she could be found and they all made their way along the corridor, to a large waiting area.

This was the second time in twenty four hours, that Kristina had been in a hospital and just the smell of it was starting to make her feel sick. Or was it just because she was sick with worry over Urs? Either way, Kristina was scared, not knowing what to expect. Her eyes were darting around, looking along the corridor, waiting for Julianna to appear so they could find out how Urs was. Sebastien was the first to spot her, emerging from a room a few feet away from where they were sitting.

“Julianna!” Sebastien said, as he shot up from his seat.

Julianna looked around and saw them all standing there. She looked pale and a little dazed.

“Come and sit down for a moment.” Simon said, ushering her over to a chair. “How is he?”

“Do they know what happened?” David asked.

“He came off his bike.” Julianna replied. “He took a nasty bang to the head.”

“How nasty?” David asked. “It’s nothing serious is it?”

“He has concussion and a few cuts and bruises.” Julianna replied, tearfully. “And he’s broken his ankle.”

“It sounds like he had a lucky escape.” Sebastian said, relieved. “I was expecting something a lot worse.”

“If it’s only a broken ankle, why is he still in hospital?” Carlos asked. “Is there something else wrong with him?”

“No, apparently that’s standard procedure.” Julianna replied. “I asked them the same question when I got here. Anyone who suffers from concussion is kept in overnight for observation. He‘s still a bit confused and his vision is a little blurred but they said that can happen. It will probably correct itself in a day or two.”

“What I can’t understand is why no one got in touch with any of us.” Simon said, frowning. “Didn’t they think that someone might be worried about him?”

“They said he didn’t have any ID on him when he was bought in.” Julianna replied. “And when they asked him who he was, he wasn’t making any sense because of the concussion. So they registered him as John Doe. I was phoning all the hospitals, giving them a description of Urs. This was the fourth hospital I called who had a ‘John Doe’ but this was the only one who sounded like Urs. But anyway, I came straight down here, and found him. That’s when I called you guys.”

“What about your family?” David asked.

“I’ve called our parents and they’re going to let the others know.” Julianna replied.

“Will they becoming over?” Simon asked. “I can make arrangements for them to stay in a hotel.”

“I’m not sure.” Julianna said, frowning. “I can’t remember, it’s still a bit of a blur.”

“There’s no need to worry about that right now.” David said, running his fingers through his hair. “At least we know he’s okay and it’s nothing life threatening.”

David then turned and saw Kristina standing there. She hadn’t moved and hadn’t spoken since Julianna had arrived. David got up from the chair and went over to where Kristina was standing.

“Krissy, are you alright?” David said, softly, as he took her arm and gently took her over to the other side of the seating area.

“I’m fine.” Kristina said, smiling weakly. “I’m just worried about him. When Carlos said there had been an accident, I instantly thought the worst.”

“Yeah, me too.” David said, putting his arm around her. “I didn’t know what to think when I first heard.”

“Do you think they’ll let us see him?” Kristina asked.

“I don’t know.” David said, looking across at where the others were still seated. “I guess we’ll have to ask Julianna and find out. But perhaps we should wait a little while. I expect Julianna will want to be on her own with Urs for a while.”

“Yes. Yes of course.” Kristina said, reluctantly. “I didn’t think.”

“But there’s no harm in asking.” David said, when he saw the look of disappointment on Kristina’s face.

David made his way over to the others. Kristina could see David talking to Julianna and she briefly looked over in Kristina’s direction. Kristina smiled weakly at Julianna, feeling guilty, knowing that if she hadn’t upset Urs yesterday, he would probably be fit and well. David returned a short time later.

“Julianna wants to be with him for a little while longer.” David told her. “It’s only family at the moment. But she says you‘re more than welcome to see him tomorrow.”

“Okay, thanks David.” Kristina said, relieved that Julianna would let her see him. But she was still disappointed that she would have to wait until tomorrow. David and Kristina walked back over to where the others were sitting.

“Well, seeing as Urs is okay and we can’t do anything here, why don’t you lot go back to the office?” Simon suggested. “I’ll stay here with Julianna.”

“There’s no need for you to do that, Mr Cowell.” Julianna said, surprised. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not leaving you here on your own.” Simon replied. “And please, call me Simon.”

“Okay. Simon.” Jualinna said, smiling. “Thank you.”

After it was agreed that Simon would stay with Julianna, the others begrudgingly headed out to the car park and drove back to the office.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kristina cautiously opened the door, not knowing what response she would get from Tyler, after her short outburst earlier.

She was surprised to see Tyler smiling at her as she entered their office.

“How is he?” Tyler asked, getting up from his chair.

“Are you really that interested?” Kristina asked. “Or are you just making polite conversation?”

“Of course I’m interested.” Tyler replied. “Despite what you think, I do have some compassion. I was out of order earlier and I’m sorry. You know how much I want things to work out between us. And I’ll admit, I’m worried that you’re going to change your mind about us. Can you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive.” Kristina said, taking off her jacket. “I haven’t exactly done much to instil you with confidence.”

“Friends again?” Tyler said, holding his arms out to her.

“Friends.” Kristina said, smiling, as she approached Tyler and hugged him.

“Great.” Tyler replied. “Now, are you going to tell me how Urs is or not?”

“He has concussion and a broken ankle.” Kristina replied, pulling away from Tyler.

“No serious injuries then?” Tyler asked. “Did you get to talk to him?”

“By the sounds of it, he’s going to be fine.” Kristina replied. “But I didn’t get to see him. Only family are allowed at the moment but Julianna said I can go and see him tomorrow.”

“So will you be going?” Tyler asked, cautiously, not wanting to start another argument.

“Would you be disappointed with me, if I said yes?” Kristina said, looking up at him.

“No, I understand you’re worried.” Tyler said, hugging her again. “I guess I over reacted a little. I mean, he’s in hospital, what can happen between you two while he’s laid up in bed with a broken ankle?”

Kristina’s eyes narrowed as she looked at him.

“Sorry, that was uncalled for.” Tyler replied. “I’ll just keep my mouth shut from now on and get back to work.”

Kristina watched as Tyler sat back down behind his desk. Kristina was glad of Natty’s suggestion to work at the Cavendish office, because at this moment in time, Tyler was starting to annoy her and she might say something she’ll later regret. As Kristina started to pack her papers away, she began to think about Urs. She wondered if she would be able to hold out until tomorrow. Kristina needed to see him, to make sure he was okay, just to put her mind at rest. But more importantly, she wanted to apologise to him. She might not have caused the accident directly, but Kristina couldn’t help feeling she was to blame. Perhaps she would try and see him after work.

***** CHAPTER 102 *****

Kristina had taken all her papers back to the Cavendish offices. To say that Angie was surprised to see her was an understatement. She instantly thought that Kristina and Tyler had argued and she had walked out. Angie didn’t realise how close to the truth she was, but Kristina lied, telling her that she just preferred to work in her own surroundings. Somehow, Kristina had managed to concentrate on her work for the rest of the afternoon. In fact it was gone 7 o’clock when she finally left the office. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that Tyler wasn’t hovering around, and she wasn’t constantly looking up, every time some one walked past her office, wondering if it was Urs.

Kristina had decided that she definitely couldn’t wait until tomorrow to go and see Urs. It was only when she had got home, and she sat down in the peace and quiet of her own room, that she suddenly realised Urs could’ve been killed last night. She had come so close to losing him, except he wasn’t hers to lose.

After showering and having something to eat, Kristina had gone for a walk. Natty was working late at the studio and Kristina didn’t like the idea of sitting at home alone, doing nothing. At least while she was out walking, she could get some fresh air and think about what she was going to say to Urs. She knew she had to apologise and explain about yesterday. Kristina had been walking for over two hours, before looking at her watch. It was almost midnight. She didn’t realise she had been walking for so long, and started having second thoughts about visiting Urs. It was too late for her to visit him now, but she still needed to see him. She had to see him with her own eyes, to know he was alright. Kristina hailed a taxi and made her way to the Royal Marsden Hospital.

Kristina wondered if Julianna would still be there. She wasn’t sure if the nurses would let her in, seeing as she wasn’t family, but perhaps if Julianna was there, they might make an exception. But then again, Julianna had said she could see him tomorrow, not tonight. Perhaps she would refuse to let her see him. What if Urs had told her what had happened between them yesterday? Kristina didn’t know if she would be able to explain her actions to Julianna. Kristina stopped suddenly when she saw Julianna emerge from the room she had come from earlier that afternoon. It had to be Urs’ room. Kristina quickly stood in one of the doorways, out of sight, and watched as Julianna yawned. She then said goodnight to the Nurse on duty and disappeared down the corridor. Well, if Kristina was hoping Julianna would let her in, that was her only chance gone. She would just have to try and get past the nurse unnoticed.

Kristina sat in the large seating area, where they had sat earlier on. There were four or five people sitting there now, obviously waiting to hear some news of their loved ones. Every now and then, Kristina would hear voices. She would pop her head around the corner, to see if it was a nurse leaving the station. Eventually she got lucky. It wasn’t long before the Nurse took a phone call and had to leave the nurses station. Kristina seized the opportunity to go in to the room that she hoped was Urs’.

She quickly opened the door and slipped inside, before quietly closing it behind her. The room was dimly lit by a small night light on the wall above the bed, but Kristina could see quite clearly that it was Urs. She could tell he was sleep, as he didn’t move and she could hear his slow and steady breathing. As she slowly walked towards him, she looked at the bottom of the bed. Kristina couldn’t help but notice the plaster cast on his right ankle, stopping just below his knee.

Kristina quietly pulled up a chair, so that she could sit next to Urs. That’s when she noticed the small square bandage on the back of his head. As she cast her eyes over his body, her eyes stopped at his hands. The backs of his hands were grazed and bruised, and his knuckles were covered in dried blood. She lightly placed her hand over his right one, his hand moved slightly at her touch. She quickly glanced at his face, hoping she hadn‘t woken him. He was still fast asleep.

Kristina kept her hand on Urs’ for a little while longer. Even though he was asleep, she felt better knowing that he was safe and just to do something simple, like hold his hand, made her forget about her own illness and feel more relaxed. Kristina held his hand a little longer, before bringing it up to her face and holding his palm against her cheek. She loved the way his skin felt against hers, the way he caressed her cheek, the way his eyes sparkled when he smiled. As she continued to hold his hand against her face, Kristina closed her eyes, remembering the night they first met. She remembered how she had bumped into him, knocking his glasses out of his hands and then looking up to see those warm hazel eyes staring back at her. She had never been able to forget that look, and every time she thought about it, she had that schoolgirl-with-a-crush feeling, the butterflies in her tummy, her heart racing. It was almost five years, since that night, but nothing had changed for her. She still loved Urs now more than ever. She opened her eyes and looked at Urs laying there sleeping. He looked so peaceful, unlike yesterday, sad and dejected as he left her house. Was she really doing the right thing by leaving London? Or was she just running away? She started to cry, quietly, knowing that she was the reason Urs was lying here in a hospital bed.

Kristina jumped, when the door suddenly opened and she saw the nurse from earlier, standing in the door way.

“Who are you?” she asked, giving Kristina a stern look. “Don’t you know that visiting hours were over hours ago?”

“I’m sorry.” Kristina apologised, wiping her eyes. “But I had to see him.”

“You still haven’t answered my question. Who are you?” the nurse said again, putting her hands on her hips. “Only family are allowed in here. Are you related?”

“No. I mean yes. I’m… I’m Kristina, his girlfriend.” Kristina said, without thinking. Where had those words come from? Why did she lie? Why didn’t she just tell her the truth?

“Oh, you’re Chris!” the nurse said, her face softening.

“Chris?” Kristina said, confused by the nurses remark.

“Perhaps I misheard.” the nurse replied, whilst she checked on Urs. “But I was here last night, when this young man was brought in. It sounded like he kept saying the name Chris, over and over again.”

“He calls me Krissy.” Kristina said, as she looked at Urs and smiled. “Maybe that’s what you heard.”

“You know, I think you might be right.” the nurse said, thoughtfully.

Kristina sat quietly, and watched as the nurse made her checks on Urs. She still couldn’t believe that Urs was in hospital.

“Don’t look so worried.” the nurse said, reassuringly when she saw the troubled look on Kristina’s face. “He’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Kristina asked.

“I’m sure.” she replied, smiling. “He did have something to help him sleep, as his ankle was giving him some trouble earlier. But as long as he gets plenty of rest, and stays off that ankle, it’ll be fine.”

Kristina smiled and looked back at Urs. She was just thankful that it wasn’t anything more serious. What would have happened if he had died? He would’ve died thinking that she didn’t love him, that she would have only slept with him for her own amusement, and not out of love.

“How long have you two been together?” the nurse asked, as she made some notes on Urs chart.

“I… we haven’t…” Kristina then stopped, realising that she would have to continue with the lie of being Urs’ girlfriend. “We met almost five years ago.”

“Four years?” the nurse remarked. “And he hasn’t popped the question yet?”

“We’re not in any hurry to get married.” Kristina replied, blushing and at the same time feeling guilty for lying to her.

“I had a chance to talk to him earlier and he seems like a lovely young man.” the nurse said, looking at Urs. “If I were you, I would hold on to this one.” she added, winking at Kristina.

Kristina quickly wiped away a tear and held Urs’ hand a little tighter. She loved him, she had to tell him. She couldn’t let him go on thinking any different.

“Hey didn’t I tell you he would be fine.” the nurse said, walking over to Kristina and putting a hand on her shoulder. “There’s no need to cry.”

“I know.” Kristina said, smiling, as she wiped her eyes. “I can‘t help it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Urs wanted to open his eyes but he felt sick and his head was thumping. Why did he feel like this? What had happened? He remembered leaving Kristina’s house, after she had told him that she still intended to go to New York. It had started to rain but Urs didn’t want to go home just yet. He was confused, upset and angry. He needed to unwind, so he’d decided to drive around for a while and try and relax. But he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Kristina. Things had been going so well between them, until Tyler had shown up. He couldn’t believe that she would sleep with him, without having any feelings for him. Had he really been so wrong about Kristina? Urs couldn’t believe that she was really like that, but yet again, he had let himself be fooled by her. Every time he thought she loved him, she would deny it. Instead of relaxing, Urs found himself getting angrier, his temper flaring. Urs hadn’t seen the car heading straight for him, as he pulled out of the junction, his thoughts still dwelling on Kristina. The car had tried braking but it was too late. It skidded along the wet tarmac, and crashed into a fence, clipping the back of Urs’ bike and sending both him and the bike sliding across the road. Urs had been knocked unconscious for several minutes and the bike had landed on his leg, breaking his ankle. But all Urs could hear was the braking and the skidding of the car, the smashing of glass, metal hitting metal. There had been an accident. Was he okay? Was Aimee okay? It was happening all over again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Urs started to mumble in his sleep, and tried to move but his broken ankle prevented him.

“Urs…” Kristina whispered, one hand resting lightly on his arm, while she gently caressed his cheek with the other. “Sssh, it’s okay, Urs.”

Urs could hear voices but he couldn’t remember where he was. He knew the voice but couldn’t place it. Then he heard it again. She spoke softly to him. He still couldn’t work out who it was. He felt something on his arm. It was a warm and gentle touch. There it was again, but this time on his cheek. As she continued to talk to him, Urs noticed a soft feminine scent, it all seemed so familiar. With the voice, the touch and the scent, Urs started to relax, as he felt a comforting presence surround him.

“Well, it seems you two don’t need me here.” the nurse said, when Urs finally settled. “I’ll leave you two alone for a while and I‘ll come back and check on him later.”

After the nurse had left, Kristina noticed a blanket folded up on a chair in the corner. She suddenly realised how cold she felt and quietly got up and wrapped the blanket around her, before sitting back down next to Urs. Kristina looked at Urs, wondering what her life would have been like, had she been honest with Urs and told him the truth when he came to see her in hospital. Perhaps if she had been honest with him, he wouldn’t have given up. He would’ve waited for her, until she and David had broken up. But then there was still that small detail of her looking like Aimee. Did it really matter if she looked like her or not? As long as he loved her, or showed her love. Could Kristina live with that? He wasn’t a bad man, he was kind, gentle, loving, funny. She could do a lot worse. Kristina was willing him to wake up so that she could tell him she loved him but she knew he needed rest. Kristina then looked at her hand, when she saw her ring sparkle under the nightlight. She had once given Urs her ring, at Charles De Gaulle airport. He had asked her if she loved him, but Kristina couldn’t bring herself to say those words. Instead, she had slipped her ring in to his jacket pocket. It was the only way she knew of letting him know that she loved him, that she cared for him. She wondered if he remembered. Kristina slid her ring off her finger and paused, as she held Urs’ hand. If she gave Urs the ring, would he know it was from her? Would he understand what she was trying to tell him? Kristina wasn’t sure, but again, without saying the words, it was the only other way she knew of letting him know how she felt. She carefully placed the ring on Urs’ little finger and then sat watching him as he slept. Only a few minutes had passed, when Kristina realised she kept yawning. She wondered if she should call for a taxi, but she didn’t want to leave Urs just yet. She gently took hold of Urs’ hand again, before resting her head on her arm and closing her eyes. She would wait for the nurse to come back and check on Urs and then she would go home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Urs woke, he instantly noticed how stiff he felt and his back hurt. He started to stretch but winced at the pain in his ankle. He then he realised someone was holding his hand. Urs opened his eyes and stared at his hand. He could see someone with blonde hair, laying with her head rested on her arms, facing away from him. He couldn’t make out who it was, his head was thumping, he’d just woken up and his vision was still a little blurry. But it looked like Krissy.

“Krissy?” Urs mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his free hand. “Is that you?”

Kristina instantly woke at the sound of his voice.

“Urs!” Kristina said, sitting bolt upright. “Are you okay? How do you feel?”

“My head hurts.” Urs replied, groggily. “Where’s the nurse?”

“I don’t know.” she said, getting up from her chair, and brushing a stray curl of hair behind his ear. “Do you want me to go and get her?”

“Don’t bother.” Urs said turning his head away, as he lifted his hand above his head and pressed the buzzer for the nurse. “What are you doing here?”

“I heard what happened.” Kristina said, weakly. “I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“Well, as you can see I’m not, no thanks to you.” Urs replied, coldly. “Now why don’t you just go? Leave me in peace.”

“Urs please don’t be like that.” Kristina said, swallowing hard as she felt the lump rise in her throat. “I was so worried when I heard.”

“You? Worried?” Urs mocked, as he continued to press the buzzer. “Don’t give me that. Just go, will you?”

“But Urs, I wanted to tell…” she started to say, but then the nurse entered the room.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, walking over to Urs.

“No, I want her to leave.” Urs said, glaring at Kristina.

“But Urs, you don’t understand.” Kristina said, tearfully. “I came to explain about yesterday.”

“I don’t want to hear it.” Urs said, trying to sit up. “I don’t want to even think about it. I must’ve been an idiot to believe you could ever love me.”

“But that’s just it, Urs.” Kristina said, placing her hand on his arm as the tears ran down her face. “I do.”

“Don’t touch me!” Urs spat, pulling his arm away from her.

“Urs please listen.” Kristina pleaded. “You have to believe me.”

“GET OUT!” Urs yelled, before putting his hands up to his head, which was now starting to hurt again. “You make me sick!”

“Perhaps it’s best if you do as he asks.” the nurse said softly, as she ushered Kristina out the door. “It’s probably just the concussion that’s making him irritable. Why don’t you come back tomorrow, when he’s calmed down.”

All she could do was smile weakly at the nurse, feeling embarrassed at Urs’ outburst towards her, and thank her, before taking a final look at Urs. He wouldn’t even look in her direction. Kristina did as Urs asked, and quietly left the room, the nurse closing the door after her.

Kristina stood in the hallway, outside Urs’ room, not quite sure what to do next, as she started to quietly cry. She felt a heaviness in her chest, almost as if her heart were breaking and she couldn‘t seem to stop herself from shaking. She had wasted so much time, telling Urs she didn’t love him, when truthfully she had never stopped loving him and now it was too late. Or maybe the nurse was right, maybe it was the concussion that had made him irritable and perhaps when he saw her ring, he would understand how she felt.

She didn’t even remember how she got there, but Kristina somehow managed to get home. She couldn’t help thinking that she had blown her final chance with Urs. It was a sign, they weren’t meant to be. No matter how much she loved him, she wasn’t meant to be with him. She hated herself for what she had done and she hated the way she looked. Why couldn’t Urs love her for ‘her’ and not for who she looked like? Except Urs couldn’t even bring himself to look at her now. She had turned him away. Kristina collapsed on to her bed, opened the drawer and grabbed a handful of tissues. She started to dry her eyes, but the tears kept coming. She just wanted all the pain and heartache to end. Why couldn’t she be happy like Abigail? Why couldn’t she be with the man she loved? Kristina hadn’t forgotten about Tyler, but she knew that what she felt for him was nothing compared to how she felt about Urs. She seemed destined to suffer for the rest of her life.

***** CHAPTER 103 *****

It was Wednesday morning and Kristina had been in the office since 7am. She hadn’t managed to get any sleep, and now her head was aching from so much crying, and her eyes were sore. Kristina had given up trying to get any sleep at about 5am, after constantly thinking about the situation with Urs. Eventually, she got up, showered, dressed and had something to eat before going to the office. Natty was still in bed, when Kristina left for work. As much as she loved her, she wasn’t up to explaining where she went last night and what happened between her and Urs. Natty was marvellous at making everything clearer, but Kristina couldn’t see Natty making any sense of this mess she had created. How could Urs ever believe she loved him, when all along, she had been telling him she didn’t? No wonder he didn’t believe her.

Kristina kept looking at her watch. She was longing to visit Urs, wondering if he had seen the ring but she knew that she had to stay away. She didn’t want to upset him any more than he already was. All Kristina could do, was wait for Urs to come to her. But was she expecting too much? Would he ever talk to her again, let alone want to see her? Kristina shook her head, and tried to think positively. If Urs wanted to see her, he would let her know. It was only two days ago, that he told her he loved her. He couldn’t stop loving her just like that, Kristina knew all too well that he must still feel something for her, even if he denied it. She just had to be patient. Kristina was about to pick up the phone when her office door opened. It was Tyler.

“Can I come in?” Tyler asked, sheepishly as he poked his head round the door.

“Seeing as your father owns the building, I can’t exactly stop you.” Kristina replied. After last night with Urs, she really wasn’t up to any more confrontations.

“I was hoping we could talk.” Tyler replied, frowning. “But if you would rather I left, then I’ll…”

“No, wait.” Kristina said, getting up from her chair. “I’m sorry. It‘s just that… I didn‘t get any sleep last night so I‘m not in the best of moods.”

“Am I to blame for that?” Tyler asked, as he quietly closed the door behind him.

“No, you’re not to blame.” Kristina said, sitting back down in her chair. “I’ve just got things on my mind.”

“I wasn’t exactly very understanding about yesterday, was I?” Tyler said, taking a seat opposite her. “That’s why I’m here. I came to apologize.”

“It’s okay.” Kristina replied, as she rested her elbows on the edge of the desk. “I know this must be hard for you but you have to understand that I still have feelings for him. If someone told you that someone you loved was in hospital, what would you do? Would you go and see them or would you just sit at home?”

“I understand what you’re trying to say, Kristina.” Tyler answered. “But you have to realise, we’re leaving for New York in four days. You can’t keep running back to him every time something happens. I really care for you and I don‘t want to see you get hurt.”

Kristina lowered her eyes. It was too late for that, she had already been hurt. And at this moment in time, she didn’t think she could feel any worse, knowing that she had only herself to blame. She felt helpless, not knowing what to do, how to make Urs see she loved him, even though he was in love with her for all the wrong reasons. Kristina had lay awake at night, wondering if she should delay her move to New York or even cancel it all together. She needed more time with Urs, to apologise, to make him see she loved him. If there was a chance that Urs could forgive her, then she would cancel going to New York and stay in London, yet she didn‘t want to hurt Tyler. How could she delay her move, but at the same time, not let Tyler think she was using him? She didn‘t want him to think that he was second choice if things didn’t go to plan with Urs. She knew all too well that what she was doing was unfair to Tyler. But she couldn’t help herself.

“You do still want to go to New York with me, don‘t you?” Tyler asked, when Kristina avoided looking at him.

“Yes I still want to go but…” Kristina bit her lip. “I thought maybe I could delay it, just for a few weeks.”

“A few weeks? What on earth for?” Tyler asked, the muscles in his face tightening, as he grit his teeth. “Has Urs said something to you to make you change your mind?”

“No, I… I just need more time.” Kristina said, finally looking at Tyler. “Everything is moving so fast. We’ve only known each other for a few weeks.”

“So you’re having second thoughts?” Tyler asked. “Second thoughts about me, New York or leaving Urs? I want the truth.”

“About New York.” Kristina lied. “I’ve made a lot of friends here and I love London.”

“Well, it didn’t seem to bother you yesterday.” Tyler said, getting up from his seat. “You were all set to leave until a day or two ago. What’s made you change your mind?”

“I haven’t changed my mind.” Kristina replied. “Like I said, things are moving too fast. I need more time.”

“More time for what?” Tyler snapped. “You said you wanted to go back home. You’ll be doing the exact same job in New York and we can finally be a couple. Nothing will change. Except the fact that you won’t see Urs everyday. That‘s what‘s troubling you, isn’t it?”

Kristina didn‘t reply, she wasn‘t sure what to say to Tyler without upsetting him even more or making him angry.

“I’m starting to get fed up of this Kristina. You‘re really testing my patience.” Tyler said, pacing the room. “You say you want to give this relationship a go but then you go and say or do something that makes me think differently. If you don’t want to go to New York, then just tell me, right now, because there’s no way you’re delaying the move. I need you there on Monday. If you don’t come with me on Sunday, then just forget it. I’ll look for another publicist to work with me in New York and we‘ll forget about us even trying to have a relationship.”

What she could do? What could she say? If things didn’t work out with Urs, then she had no other choice but to leave London. Tyler was her only other hope of finding happiness and she couldn’t let that go. But she couldn’t let go of the small piece of hope, that her and Urs could someday be more than friends. Kristina was coming to terms with the fact that he only loved her because of Aimee. But there was no way she would ever tell him, that she knew about Aimee. If she told him, he might end the relationship, that’s if they even start one. Until Urs had his accident, Kristina didn’t realise just how much she loved him and how much she needed him. Kristina couldn’t live without him and she was prepared to live a lie, if it meant she could be with Urs. But if he really couldn’t forgive her, then she couldn’t bear to near him, knowing he felt nothing for her.

“Okay, I’ll go with you on Sunday.” Kristina replied, reluctantly. “I won’t delay the move.”

Tyler smiled and walked round to her side of the desk.

“Thank you.” Tyler said, gently placing a kiss on her forehead. “You’re doing the right thing, coming with me. Moving back home is just what you need and in time, you‘ll realise that it’s the sensible thing to do.”

Tyler then left the Cavendish offices, leaving Kristina wondering how on earth she was going to convince Urs that she loved him, before their flight left for New York on Sunday.

After Tyler had left, the rest of the day seemed to drag and Kristina was beginning to feel the effects of not getting any sleep. She had planned on visiting Abigail after work, as Carlos had told her she still wasn’t feeling well, and perhaps a visit from her, might cheer her up. So after lunch, Kristina decided to take some work home with her and she would stop in and see her sister on the way.

It never occurred to Kristina that she might see Urs at the apartment block. She assumed he would still be in hospital, because of his concussion. But sure enough, there he was, on crutches, as Julianna helped him in to the elevator. Kristina slowed down her pace, hoping they wouldn’t see her, so that she could get the next elevator. But it was too late, Julianna noticed her, heading towards them and smiled at her as she held the door for her.

“Thanks.” Kristina said, weakly as she got in to the elevator, smiling back at Julianna.

“Hello Urs.” Kristina said, faintly. “How are you feeling now?”

“Fine.” Urs snapped, avoiding eye contact with her.

Kristina didn’t say anything more, for fear of another outburst from Urs.

“Are you here to see Abigail?” Julianna asked, trying to break unbearable silence.

“Yes, she’s not every well.” Kristina replied, still embarrassed at Urs’ attitude towards her. “She hasn’t been feeling well for a few days now.”

“Nothing serious, I hope.” Julianna said, sounding genuinely concerned.

“I don’t think so.” Kristina replied. “It maybe a stomach bug, but she’s been ill since we left Italy.”

“Well, give her my regards and I hope she feels better soon.” Julianna said, as the elevator stopped at their floor.

“Thank you.” Kristina replied, quickly glancing at Urs’ little finger. “I’ll tell her.” Kristina stepped back to let Urs and Julianna get by. He still wouldn’t look at her. “Goodbye Urs.” she said, quietly.

Urs ignored her, as he struggled with his crutches. Kristina bit her lip and tried to blink back the tears as she watched as Julianna and Urs slowly make their way along the hall, in the opposite direction to Carlos and Abigail’s apartment. It was breaking her heart, that he couldn’t bear to be near her and couldn’t even bring himself to look at her. But Urs wasn’t wearing her ring. She wondered if it had fallen off, perhaps he hadn’t seen it. Would it be wise to ask him about it? Kristina was too scared to ask him, especially after it was so blatantly obvious that he was still angry with her. She was determined not to give up though. Urs hadn’t given up on her, until now. And she wasn’t about to do the same thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kristina made her way to Carlos and Abigail’s apartment and knocked on the door.

“Kristina!” Abigail exclaimed, a huge smile on her face. “I thought you’d forgotten about me.”

“Sorry, Abigail.” Kristina said, hugging her sister. “I would have been round sooner, but there’s just been a few things going on and… well, you know how it is.”

“Yes, I heard about Urs.” Abigail said, as she closed the door. “I’m glad he wasn’t seriously hurt. But how about you? Are you okay? I hope you don‘t mind me saying it, but you look tired.”

“I’m fine.” Kristina replied. “Just busy with work and getting ready for the move to New York. There’s still a lot to be done.”

“Are you sure that’s all that’s bothering you?” Abigail said, not entirely convinced. “You don’t look very happy.”

“Is it that obvious?” Kristina said, forcing a smile.

“Urs?” Abigail asked, warily.

Kristina nodded and walked towards a dresser, full of family photos.

“How is he?” Abigail asked.

“He seems fine, he‘s back home.” Kristina replied, as she picked up a photo of Abigail and Carlos on their wedding day. “I just saw him and Julianna on my way up to see you. I went to see him yesterday at the hospital but… but things didn‘t go too well.”

“What happened?” Abigail asked, worriedly. “You two didn’t fight again did you?”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it fighting.” Kristina glanced at Abigail. “Urs was the one that did all the talking. Or should I say shouting?”

“Why? What was he so angry about?” Abigail asked, curiously, as she got up and went to stand beside her sister. “Surely he doesn’t blame you for the accident.”

“In a way, I am to blame.” Kristina replied. “I haven’t told you this but... Urs went with me for my check up on Monday. After the appointment, he took me out for the afternoon and then Natty invited him to stay for dinner.”

“So things were going well?” Abigail asked.

“I went to have a lie down and Urs… he came up to see me.” Kristina answered, smiling to herself. “We were talking one minute and then the next minute, we were….” Kristina paused and started to blush.

“Kristina! Why didn’t you tell me?” Abigail said, excitedly. “Isn’t this what you wanted? You and Urs together?”

“Hang on a minute, it’s not what you think.” Kristina replied. “Tyler showed up before things got too serious. And it was what I wanted. It still is. I think I’ve even come to accept that I look like Aimee. Urs having that accident made me realise that it’s not important. I just want to be with him.”

“So when did it all go wrong?” Abigail said, leaning against the dresser.

“While me and Urs were…you know… ” Kristina blushed again. “… Tyler showed up and I left Urs to go down and see what he wanted. Urs then asked me when I was going to tell Tyler about the two of us and I… I told him I wasn’t and that I was still leaving for New York. So now he thinks that I‘m just someone who would sleep around with guys for the fun of it.”

“I’m sure he doesn’t think of you in that way.” Abigail said, reassuringly. “He was probably upset when he said that.”

“Yes, but I’m the one who made him upset.” Kristina replied, sighing deeply. “I led him on and then told him I was still leaving London. Now he hates me. I tried to explain everything and that I loved him but he demanded that I leave the hospital. He didn’t want to see me or talk to me. He told me…he told me that I make him sick.” she added, almost choking on the words.

“So what are you going to do now?” Abigail asked, quietly. “Are you still going to New York?”

“I’ve thought about cancelling it, or even delaying it.” Kristina replied. “But Tyler won’t hear of it. If I delay the move, he says I can forget about it all together, he’ll find another publicist. I don’t want to lose the opportunity of some happiness with Tyler but I don’t want to give up on Urs either. I’ll just have to convince him in the next few days that I do love him and that I’m genuinely sorry.”

“Sounds like you’ve got your work cut out, big sis.” Abigail said, walking back to her seat. “If I were Urs, it would take a lot to convince me.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side.” Kristina said, frowning.

“I am on your side.” Abigail replied. “But come off it. You’ve probably confused the hell out of the guy, constantly denying you love him and then admitting you do but you’re still going to move to New York? It doesn‘t make sense.”

“I know but I thought he would be happy to hear that I love him. If he would just tell me that he still loves me, then I won‘t leave.” Kristina replied. “But now he doesn’t want to have anything to do with me. How can he just change like that?”

“The balls been in your court for a long time, Kristina.” Abigail said, sighing.

“What‘s that supposed to mean?” Kristina demanded.

“You’ve had more than your fair share of chances to tell him you love him.” Abigail replied. “You should have been honest with him.”

“Yes but you know why I didn’t tell him, because of Aimee.” Kristina answered. “I couldn’t get over the fact that he only wanted me because of her. But now… but now I don’t care who I look like. I just want him to love me again.”

“Like I said, it’s going to take a lot to convince him.” Abigail said, shaking her head. “You’ve been telling the poor guy for years that you don’t love him. Now all of a sudden, things aren’t going your way and you can’t understand why Urs doesn’t want to see you. Maybe he‘s fed up of being messed around.”

Abigail knew it was hard for her sister to hear, but she didn’t see any point in being gentle with her. If she wanted Urs back, she had to understand how he must be feeling.

“It’s all my fault, isn’t it?” Kristina said, quietly. “I’ve brought all this on myself.”

“I hate to say it but… yes.” Abigail agreed. “You should have told him you loved him when you had the chance. Then perhaps you wouldn’t have had to go through any of this, neither of you. You might have even worked things out.”

“But what if we didn’t work things out?” Kristina asked. “Where would that leave us?”

“The same place you are now.” Abigail replied. “Both hurting and miserable. But at least you might have had some memories to look back on and you wouldn’t constantly be thinking ‘what if’ all the time.”

“You really know how to cheer me up.” Kristina said, sulkily.

“I thought you were the one who was supposed to be cheering ‘me’ up.” Abigail replied. “I’m the one that’s not feeling well.”

“I’m sorry Abigail.” Kristina said, sighing. “But until I can sort this mess out I don’t think I’m going to be good company.”

“So why don’t you go and talk to him.” Abigail suggested. “It’s obvious that you’re dying to go and see him.”

“Do you think I should?” Kristina asked. “He still seemed a little angry with me.”

“Maybe he’s calmed down a little now.” Abigail replied. “But what have you got to lose? You haven’t got long until Sunday. Go and see if he’ll talk to you. If not, then you can always come straight back here.”

“Alright.” Kristina said, as she quickly checked her appearance in the mirror. “Do I look okay?”

“You look fine.” Abigail replied.

“Here goes.” Kristina said, before taking a deep breath as she opened the door and headed for Urs’ apartment.

Kristina lightly tapped on Urs’ door. There was no answer. Kristina knocked again, this time a little louder. She could hear noises coming from the other side of the door, then something which sounded like glass breaking, and then she heard Urs. He didn’t sound too happy and Kristina could only assume he was cursing and swearing in Swiss. Kristina was beginning to regret coming here and was considering turning and running back to Abigail’s apartment, when the door suddenly opened. She came face to face with Urs, who was dressed in nothing but a pair of black boxer shorts. Kristina couldn’t help looking down at them and noticing the small red devil on the side of them.

“What do you want?” Urs snapped.

“You!” she thought to herself, as she bit hard on her lip and tried to focus on his face.

***** CHAPTER 104 *****

“What do you want?” Urs asked again, angrily, when Kristina didn’t reply.

Kristina was too busy trying to resist the urge to take another look at his boxers.

“I… I need to talk to you.” Kristina said, finally finding her voice.

“Well, believe it or not, I’m not interested in anything you have to say.” Urs said, coldly as he hopped back on his crutches and started to close the door.

“Urs, please.” Kristina said, softly as she put her hand on the door. “I want to explain.”

“Explain? Explain how you were willing to jump in to bed with me, to cheat on Tyler and then leave the country as if nothing had ever happened?” Urs hissed. “I’d sure like to hear you explain your way out of that.”

“Does that mean I can come in?” Kristina asked, warily.

“I never said that.” Urs replied, trying to close the door, but then realising Kristina had her foot in the doorway.

“Are you bleeding?” Kristina said, suddenly, when she saw blood trickling down his leg.

Urs looked down to where Kristina was pointing.

“Must’ve been when I knocked that damn vase over.” Urs mumbled, moving back from the door.

“Let me clean it for you.” Kristina said, seeing her chance to talk to him. “You don’t want it to get infected and there might be glass in it.”

“I can do it.” Urs snapped. “It’s only a cut. I’m not completely useless.”

“I never said you were.” Kristina replied, as she followed him in to the apartment. “But it will be easier if I do it. After all, it’s my fault, isn’t it. If I hadn‘t come to see you, you wouldn‘t have knocked it over.”

“True.” Urs admitted, as he leant against the sofa. “There’s a first aid kit in the cupboard under the sink.”

“Why don’t you sit down.” Kristina said, heading for the kitchen. “I’ll be back in a second.”

Kristina found the first aid kit, it was exactly where Urs said it was. Kristina hadn’t really thought about what she was going to say to Urs. But at this moment in time, she was just pleased that she had made it this far and that he was talking to her. But what if she never got another chance to talk to him? What if he refused to see her again? What on earth could she possibly say in the space of a few minutes, that would convince him that she loved him? How could she explain what happened the other day, when Tyler showed up? How could she make him understand that she wanted to make love to him, because she truly loved him and that it would have meant so much more than a one night stand?

“Just as well I’m not bleeding to death in here.” Urs yelled. “They’d be measuring me up for my coffin by now.”

Kristina took a deep breath before calmly walking out of the kitchen and over towards the sofa, where he was now sitting. She carefully knelt down in front of Urs, with the first aid kit in her hands, and looked at Urs’ leg. She was desperately trying to concentrate on the cut on Urs’ leg and ignore the fact that he was sitting there in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. But she was failing miserably and she could feel an ache in the pit of her stomach, knowing full well, that Urs was the cause. She hadn’t realised just how well Urs looked after his body. She had already seen his chest, perfectly toned, and a small dark line of hair that went from his navel, and travelled downwards, out of sight. Kristina’s confidence was fading fast, as she continued to stare at his legs, the outline of his muscles showing, a light dusting of hair, all the way up his calves, continuing to the top of his thighs. Kristina could feel her hands trembling. She was longing to reach out and touch him, to run her hands up his legs, over his chest, to kiss him again.

“You’re not going to tell me that you faint at the sight of blood, are you?” Urs asked, as he watched Kristina, staring at his leg.

“You’re joking, right?” Kristina said, looking up at him, as she suddenly remembered why she was kneeling in front of him. “After having to sit there for hours at a time on dialysis, and watch my own blood flow out of me in one tube and back in to me in another, this is nothing.”

Urs didn’t say anything after that. He sat in silence and watched as Kristina opened the first aid kit and took out a small alcohol pad.

Urs flinched when Kristina leant forward, and gently wiped the pad over the cut.

“Don’t tell me that hurt.” Kristina said, trying to hide the smirk on her face.

“No!” Urs snapped. “It…it’s cold, that’s all.”

“And here’s me thinking you were a big boy.” Kristina said, as she continued to clean the cut.

Urs blushed at Kristina’s comment, seriously wishing he‘d put on a robe, before answering the door. It wasn’t the alcohol pad that made him jump, it was Kristina’s hair as it brushed against his leg. It made him think of the two of them together, how she had taken his shirt off, her hair tickling his skin as she lowered herself to him and kissed him. Urs glanced to the side and spotted a cushion. He casually picked it up and placed it in his lap.

“Don’t you have to be somewhere?” Urs asked, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”

“No, I decided to bring some work home with me.” Kristina replied. “I wanted to check on Abigail first and then I was going to catch up on some sleep. I couldn’t sleep last night.” Kristina paused. “I kept thinking of you.”

Urs eyed Kristina warily, as she continued to clean the cut.

“I wanted to try and explain a few things to you, Urs.” Kristina said, quietly as she glanced up at briefly before looking back at his leg. “I know you might not believe me after the way I’ve behaved and especially after the way I’ve treated you but….”

“I don’t want to hear it.” Urs interrupted, leaning back on the sofa.

“Urs, please…” Kristina said, looking up again and gently placing her hand on his knee. Urs flinched again and Kristina quickly removed her hand, when Urs glared at her. “I can’t tell you everything, Urs as I… I don’t feel comfortable talking about it. But please, tell me, what can I do to convince you that I love you?”

“You don’t have to convince me.” Urs replied.

“I don’t?” Kristina said, hopefully.

“No.” Urs replied. “Because I’m not interested in anything you have to say. I’ve wasted too many years thinking about you, hoping you’d tell me you love me. But now, knowing what you’re really like, I think I’ve made a lucky escape.”

“Urs you don’t….” Kristina started to say.

“I know, I know.” Urs said, rolling his eyes. “I don’t understand. So why don’t you tell me? Then we can get all this mess cleared up and we can get on with our lives.”

“You’re not taking this seriously, Urs.” Kristina said, frowning. “I’m trying to explain but you just won’t listen.”

“You’ve got some nerve.” Urs snapped. “I’ve been begging you, pleading with you, to explain why we can’t be together, why you still deny you love me. And now that I’m not interested, you want to explain? Well, it doesn’t make a blind bit of difference to me anymore. I don’t care.”

“I’ve always loved you, Urs.” Kristina said, softly. “Always.”

“Fat lot of good it is telling me now.” Urs snapped, again.

“I wanted to tell you that I loved you at the airport.” Kristina said, quietly. “But how could I? I was with David. I couldn’t believe that I had fallen in love with you so quickly. I was scared.”

Urs didn’t reply.

“I didn’t think I would ever see you again.” Kristina continued. “I never forgot about you. After David and I broke up, there was never any one else, because I was still in love with you, Urs.”

Urs still didn’t reply.

“I’ve ruined everything, haven’t I?” Kristina whispered, as she stared at him. “We’ll never have another chance.”

“No, I don’t think we will.” Urs replied, folding his arms across his chest. “I don’t even know if I want another chance. I think you‘ve hurt me enough.”

Urs watched as Kristina lowered her head, closed her eyes and swallowed hard. When she opened her eyes again, Urs couldn’t help but notice a single tear run down her cheek.

“I never meant to hurt you, Urs.” Kristina said, faintly, quickly wiping the stray tear away.

Urs could feel his chest tighten at seeing Kristina upset. He couldn’t deny that he still found her attractive and that she made his body do things he had no control over. But he wasn’t going to be taken in by anymore of her lies.

“Have you finished yet?” Urs asked, impatiently, nodding at the cut on his leg.

“Yes, I think so.” Kristina said, weakly, as she quickly double checked to make sure there weren’t any shards of glass in it. “It looks okay to me and it‘s stopped bleeding. But did you want me to put a plaster on it?” she asked, as she started to get up from her kneeling position.

Urs leant forward to check the cut on his leg, only to bump heads with Kristina.

“I’m sorry, are you okay?” Urs asked, suddenly concerned when Kristina put her hand up to her forehead. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No, I’m fine.” Kristina replied, looking at Urs. “It was nothing, honestly. Are you okay? I mean… your head… the concussion…”

Her words faded, as Urs raised a hand and gently brushed the hair away from her forehead, checking to make sure she was alright. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. He was so perfect in every way and she loved him so much. Urs looked at her, when he heard her sigh heavily.

Kristina made the same gesture, raising her hand and lightly running her fingers across his forehead.

“I’m sorry for hurting you, Urs.” Kristina whispered. “Please believe me.”

Urs didn’t move, as Kristina then placed her hands on his knees and leant forward, kissing him lightly on the lips. Urs still didn’t move, it was almost as if he was frozen. He wanted to kiss her back, but he couldn’t. She had hurt him so much, he couldn’t let this happen, he couldn’t be hurt by her again. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, thoughts of him and Kristina racing through his mind. When Urs didn’t move, Kristina took it as a sign that he didn’t object to her kissing him. So she kissed him again, this time with more pressure, as she slowly slid her hands up his legs to hips. Kristina almost jumped when Urs slid a hand in to her hair and kissed her back. But there was nothing gentle or loving about the kiss, it was devoid of all emotion, except that of fury. Kristina struggled to break free from Urs but he wrapped his arm around her back, holding her.

“Is that what you wanted?” Urs hissed, finally releasing her. “Or do you want more? Do you think you can use your body to get what you want?”

“No! How could you think such a thing?” Kristina said, in shock and disbelief, quickly getting up from the floor.

“I’ve come to expect it from you.” Urs spat, as he struggled to get off the sofa and picked up his crutches.

“It was an innocent kiss, Urs. How many times have you kissed me, telling me you love me?” Kristina replied, lightly running her fingers over her mouth, her lips still throbbing from Urs’ kiss. “I only wanted to show you how much I…”

Kristina was cut off mid sentence, as Urs let go of one of his crutches and lunged for her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to him, clasping her face in his hands and kissing her again. Urs pulled away.

“Does that kiss tell you anything?” Urs asked, his eyes blazing. “Do you get the message now? I don‘t love you!”

“Let me go…please.” Kristina pleaded.

Urs kissed her again, Kristina struggled to break free, pushing against him, her nails biting in to his shoulders. She then shoved him away from her, furiously, thinking he would step back, instead she set him off balance and he hobbled backwards with one crutch. Urs clung to Kristina when he felt himself falling backwards, pulling her down with him, so that Kristina landed on top of him. Her hands were placed on the floor either side of his head and her face was inches from his. His eyes bore in to hers, his hands still held on tightly to her arms.

“What are you waiting for?” Urs hissed. “For me to kiss you goodbye and send you on your way?”

“No, I…” Kristina stuttered, as Urs continued to stare at her.

“So what the hell are you still doing here?” Urs asked, his eyes darkening.

“You didn’t give up on me.” Kristina said, weakly as another tear escaped and rolled down her cheek, landing on Urs’ bottom lip. “And I’m not giving up on you.”

Kristina then pushed herself up from the floor and headed for the door. She couldn’t help but look back at Urs, laying on the floor as he sat up and reached for his crutches. He sensed her watching him and looked up at her.

“All I'm asking for is one more chance, Urs.” Kristina said, forcing a smile through her tears. "I love you."

And with those last few words, she opened the door and quietly closed it behind her.