*Twin Lives*

The night of the first show had come round quickly and they guys found themselves sitting backstage in a room feeling pretty nervous. Carlos was fiddling with the cuff of his shirt sleeve, Seb was pacing up and down the room whilst David and Urs were sitting down but kept glancing at the door. Just then it opened and Else and Jodie walked in followed by Steve who said “10 minutes guys” he looked round at them and said “What’s wrong? Your not usually this nervous before a show” Seb stopped and said “Non, but this feels different, I don’t know why, it just does.” then started pacing again. Jodie gave David a quick kiss and went to take her seat on the stage. Auds walked to the side of the stage with the guys, Carlos sorting his jacket on the way, and kissed Urs before going to get in her seat. The music started and they took their place behind the white curtain . Once they heard the noise of the crowd they all looked at each other and smiled. The curtain dropped and the crowd screamed and the guys all felt themselves relaxing as the feelings of familiarity went through them all. They did the show and afterwards they all went to Urs and Else’s to have dinner and talk about how it went. They spent most of the night drinking and having fun, like it had been before everything bad had happened to them. They finally said their goodbyes and went back to their own places around 4am. They had another night at Wembley before leaving for the next city and hotel living again. It was a few weeks before they had to head for Scotland and Urs was planning a surprise for Else and Rachael while they were there as the girls had decided that they needed to spend the night there to prove that nothing bad was going to happen.

The day they had all been dreading was nearly there and all the guys, David and Urs especially could see that Jodie and Else were getting quieter and more jumpy. They were only seeing Fiona once a week now, Simon was paying for her to take the day off and fly to wherever they were to see them. They were all on the bus heading for Glasgow, Seb was sitting playing a game with Rachael, and getting beaten, Carlos was sleeping as were David and Jodie. Urs looked at Else and took one of her hands in his and said “I know its not until next week, but I thought that we could have a birthday party for Rachael tonight, before the show, maybe take her somewhere special, the 6 of us, then have a special meal in the hotel with balloons and a cake, then after the show you and me could have our own little party while she’s sleeping.” he grinned at her and said “What do you think?” She smiled and said “I think it’s a lovely idea hun, but why do it tonight? Why not just wait until next week?” He kissed her softly and said “Because I want to show you that good things can happen in Scotland as well as bad.” she looked at him for a minute then said “I love you so much, you know that don’t you? And its because you do things like this that I’m always going to love you.” She kissed him then leaned her head on his shoulder and he put an arm round her. They sat like that, eventually falling asleep, until they reached the hotel.

They all checked in then Urs told them all to meet them back downstairs in half an hour. They nodded and went off to find their rooms leaving Urs and Else waiting for Rachael who was looking in the hotel shop window. “So where are we going?” asked Else. Urs smiled and said “What was the one thing you said that she loved to watch when you lived in London and had to leave her with Rose during the day?” She frowned as she tried to think back and then said “That children’s programme? Um, Balamory, why?” He smiled again and said “Well, I asked Steve to look into it for me, find out where its filmed and stuff.” he laughed at the look on her face and carried on. “Its filmed on a Scottish Island and he’s arranged for us all to visit the set and meet the cast today. They’re going to give Rachael a cake in the school classroom.” She was about to say something when Rachael came running up to them and Urs picked her up. Else just placed a kiss on his cheek and said “Thank you.” They went up to dump their bags and freshen up then went back down to find Seb and Carlos already waiting for them.

David and Jodie were still in their room , David was in the toilet and she was sitting on the bed, her legs curled underneath her. He came out and saw her sitting there and said “What’s wrong babe?” She looked at him and said in a shaky voice “Why do we have to go out? If we stay in until the show then nothing can happen.” He sat down beside her and told her what Urs had planned for Rachael. She sighed and he moved so that he was behind her and pulled her back so she was leaning on him and said “I won’t let anything happen to you and after the show tonight maybe we could have dinner, just the two of us.” he smiled then added “And maybe an early night as well.” he kissed her cheek softly then started to kiss his way down her neck. She turned her head slightly and met his lips with hers. He turned her round to face him and she put her arms round his neck as he kissed her again, this time harder. She moaned as she felt his hands going under her top and pulled away from him laughing at the look on his face. “I’m sorry Davey, but if we stay where we are, we’ll be late meeting the others.” “Now you want to go.” he sighs. She grinned and said “Well, the sooner we go, the sooner we can have our early night.” He stands up shaking his head and holding out his hand she takes it and they head off down to meet the others.

Once they were all ready they left the hotel and Steve took them to where they had to catch the ferry boat to take them to them over to the island telling them he would be back for them in 3 hours. It only took 30 minutes to cross and soon they were on the mini bus waiting for them. They got off the bus and Urs spoke to a man who nodded and told them to follow him. Else picked Rachael up and watched her face to see if she recognised anything. It was only when they turned a corner and they saw all the brightly coloured small houses that she said “Mummy, Suzie Sweet’s house.” pointing to the red building. She smiled as she put her down and watched her as she ran about looking at everything. Urs put his arm round Else’s waist and smiled as they watched her going in and out of the houses and then she screamed. Urs and Else both ran to where she had disappeared into, followed quickly by Jodie and David. They found her sitting on a policeman’s knee in a small classroom. Else sighed in relief and said “PC Plum!!” He nodded and the others grinned and sat themselves down on the very small chairs and listened as he told Rachael a story. Just after he’d finished he said “We all heard that a special little girl was coming to visit us today and that she has a birthday coming up soon.” Rachael nodded and said “I’ll be 4.” “Well, we love having birthday’s here in Balamory and we thought you might like something special.” The door opened and the rest of the cast came in with Miss Hoolie, the schoolteacher, at the very back carrying a cake with candles on it. She laid it on the table in front of Rachael and told her she had to blow the candles out and a very special wish would come true. David had his video camera out and was videoing Rachael as she blew out the candles and made her wish. Not long afterwards it was time for them to say goodbye and they were back on the ferry where Steve picked them up and took them straight to the arena for their sound check.

While the guys and Jodie were doing that, Else and Rachael went to check that all their suits were okay and nothing was needing ironed or fixed. Pretty soon it was time for the show itself and they sung their first couple of songs then David said “Good evening Glasgow. As you know, the last time we were here, I was in an accident and along with a lot of other personal stuff I never expected to be back for along time. It took a lot of courage from a few of us to come back to Scotland, but we didn’t want to let down all our wonderful fans who have stood by us while we took time off, so here we all are and please enjoy the rest of the show.” He turned towards the orchestra and smiled at Jodie who smiled weakly back at him. They finished off the rest of the show and went straight back to the hotel. Urs, Else and Rachael went straight up to their room as Rachael was practically asleep just standing there and they wanted to get her into bed. They were just going to have room service for dinner and then have an early night.

David had somehow managed to talk Jodie into going out for a meal and they were just getting ready. They walked out of the hotel, holding hands and looked at each restaurant as they passed. David seemed to be looking for a special one and kept shaking his head at every one they saw. Finally they came across one that he liked the look of, Jodie looked in through the window and said “It looks lovely and cosy, are we going in?” He nodded and opened the door for her. The waiter seated them in a quiet corner near the fireplace which was lit and giving off a lovely glow in the dimly lit restaurant. He left them alone to decide what they wanted and David glanced down at the menu then over at Jodie then back down to the menu then back at her. She looked up and said “Something wrong babe?” He shook his head and said “No, I was just thinking I haven’t seen you this relaxed looking in a long time.” She blushed and said “I think we were right to come back here after all, we needed to see that we could come here and nothing bad was going to happen. I think, for me anyway, that it will help me to move on from the past and look to the future more.” David smiled and was about to speak when the waiter came back. They ordered their food and a bottle of wine and once alone again David said “I am so happy to hear you say that and I’ve got something to ask you that may just be the first step to you moving forward.” He looked away as Jodie looked at him strangely. “What’s that babe?” she asked then frowned as he stayed quiet. “Davey, what’s wrong, tell me please, you’re scaring me.” He looked up then and said “I’m sorry, Its just I’ve been planning this ever since we were told we had to come back here and now its arrived I’m kinda nervous.” He took a deep breath and said “I love you, you know that don’t you? This last year has made me realise that I never want you to be anywhere other than by my side, I couldn’t live without you with me, my world would just shatter totally.” He ran a hand over his forehead then reached into his jacket pocket and took out a little box. He placed it on the table in front of her and said “Open it please.” She picked it up and slowly opened it to reveal a gorgeous ring. She put a hand over her mouth and looked up at David who took the ring out and took her left hand and said “Jodie, will you marry me?”

David looked at Jodie as she looked at the ring he had just placed on her finger and said “Do you like it?” A single tear ran down her cheek and she looked up at him and nodded her head slowly before saying “I love it and I love you so much.” She looked at the ring again and then at him and said “Yes, I’ll marry you.” He grinned widely and leaned over the table to kiss her then said “You don’t know how happy you have just made me, I’ve been so nervous and didn’t know if you would say yes or not.” She smiled and said “You and Urs have put so much effort and planning into today to keep us from realising we are in Scotland again. I don’t know about Else, but right now, I feel like the happiest person alive.” They looked up then as the waiter appeared again with their food. They ate their dinner quickly, missing out on dessert then left to go back to the hotel. Jodie went straight up to their room while David popped into the bar to get a bottle of Champagne and some glasses. When he got up to the room he found that Jodie had already changed out of her dress and into her satin robe. He opened the bottle and poured two glasses without taking his eyes of her. She took one of the glasses and smiled as he linked his arm with hers and said “To my beautiful fiance, whom I wish to spend the rest of my life with.” They took a drink then David took it off her and sitting down on the bed pulled her down onto his knee and kissed her. He looked down at the robe and said “Why didn’t you wear this to dinner?” She grinned and said “If I wore this to dinner what would I change into when we got back?” She saw his eyes sparkle as he put a hand up to the bow that was holding the robe shut and pulled it slowly.

He leaned down and placed a kiss on her forehead then her ear, down onto her cheek and her lips, then down onto her neck and back up the same way on the other side of her. He stood up holding on to her and turned round to lay her on the bed. He stood up then and just looked at her, he had seen her that way so many times, but it was as if he was seeing it for the first time again. He lay down beside her and started to kiss her softly before making love to her. She woke up early the next morning and turned over to look at the man lying sleeping beside her. So many times in the past she had looked at him, wondering if he would ever like her the way she liked him and now he had asked her to marry him. She looked at him again and saw that his eyes were now open. She smiled and said “Hey sexy.” He smiled back and said “You looked deep in thought there babe, what were you thinking of?” She leaned into his side as he pulled himself up onto the pillows and said “You, me, us. What we were like just last year and now we’re here and I’m going to be your wife.” He put his arms round her and said “I always wondered how you really felt about me, I know we were always flirting with each other, but I couldn’t figure out if it was just play or if you were serious.” She entwined her fingers into his and said “I always knew that I wanted to be more than just your friend, but I didn’t know about you, so when you started the flirting I just flirted back and hoped that one day it would lead to something bigger.” “And it did.” he said as he kissed the top of her head. They lay that like for a while then Jodie moved and said “I’m going for a shower, would you like to scrub my back for me?” and winked at him as she walked away. He stared at her as she walked into the bathroom and dropped the sheet she had wrapped round her and he got up and followed her shutting the door behind him.

An hour later and they were just finished getting ready when Jodie’s phone rang, she picked it up and spoke for a few minutes then hung up and said “That was Else, they want us to come down for breakfast, Simon turned up this morning and has something he wants to tell you all, but won’t tell the others until you are there.” He looked at her face and said “Don’t worry, it doesn’t mean something’s happened, it could just be something he needed to see us personally for. Only good things are going to happen from now on. I’m not going to let anything else bad happen again.” he pulled her into a hug and said “You just concentrate on the wedding, you’re going to have a lot of planning to do and when are you going to tell Else?” She smiled and nodded before saying “You’re right, I’m going to be far too busy to worry and I’ll maybe take her and Rachael out for something to eat when we get to our next city and tell them then.” He kissed her on the lips then said “We had better get going then if we’ve been summoned.” Jodie laughed as he said that and they walked out of the room holding hands.

They walked into the dining room and got some breakfast before walking over and sitting down with the rest of the group. David looked at Simon and said “I’m here, what do you need to tell us?” Simon’s eyes widened in surprise at his words and said “Nice to see you too David.” He blushed and said “Sorry, but you got Jodie all worried when Else told her you were here and I have tried so hard to give her good memories of Scotland.” Simon smiled and said “That’s why I came to see you, I got a phone call last night, just before I left the office and I thought it would be nicer to come and tell you here instead of me phoning one of you to pass on the message to everyone else.” David shook his head and said “Simon, I know you’re the boss but can you stop rambling and just tell us.” “Please” he added as everyone stared at him. “He shook his head and said “Alright David, as of last night, sales of Siempre went Triple Platinum here in the UK.” The 4 guys looked at him in shock and Else said “What is Triple Platinum?” Urs looked at her and said “Its when an album sells over 180,000 copies.” She stared at him and said “OMG, that’s wonderful.” Simon looked round at them all and smiled at the looks on their faces, it was as if they didn’t know what to say. “This is brilliant news guys, you should be happy.”

Seb grinned and said “We are, I just don’t think we’ll ever get used to being told things like that.” The other 3 guys nodded in agreement and Carlos said “Thank you Simon, for coming and telling us.” They sat there in silence for a few minutes then Jodie said “I was going to keep this quiet until I’d spoken to Else, but as we’re giving out good news I have something to tell you all as well.” She looked at David who smiled and nodded his head. Else was looking at her and said “What’s up sis?” She looked round at everyone sitting round the table and said “David and I are getting married.” Else screamed and said “Omg, that’s awesome, when did all this happen and why haven’t you told me before now?” she stood up and went over to give her a hug. Jodie laughed and waited for Else to let go of her before saying “It happened last night over dinner and that’s why I hadn’t told you. I was going to wait til we got to Birmingham later and tell you over some food. But then Simon arrived and I thought I would continue with the good news.” She smiled as David put his arms round her and pulled her in close to him. Simon stood up and said “That is great news, I’m really happy for both of you, but if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to London and I think you all have somewhere to be as well.” He shook David’s hand as he passed and kissed Jodie then left them to eat their breakfast.

An hour later and they were all on the bus and heading for Birmingham, Else and Jodie sitting together talking about their weddings and how they can now do all the planning together. Rachael was curled up in Urs’ knee sleeping, she was still tired out from the days activities the day before. Carlos was down the front talking to the driver and Seb was reading a book and listening to his Ipod. David turned to Urs and said “Do you think it worked? Everything we did yesterday for the girls?” Urs looked at the two of them laughing in the corner of the bus and said “Yes, I think it did. Look at them, we haven’t seen them this happy for a long time.” He nodded and said “And things are only going to get better from now on, I promised Jodie they would.” Urs nodded and said “I told Else the same thing, her and Rachael are never going to have to go through what they were before she found us again.” He looked down at Rachael and stroked her hair gently so as not to wake her and said “Before I met Else, I didn’t want to have a family until I was finished with all the travelling we do and be settled in one place. But now, I can’t imagine my life without Rachael in it.” He looked over at the girls and then said quietly “I’m going to have adoption papers made up and give them to Else as a wedding present. I want Rachael to be mine legally.” David smiled and said “That is wonderful Urs, she will be so happy that you want to do that.” He smiled and said “I want to keep it a surprise though.” David nodded and said “I won’t tell anyone, not even Jodie.” “Thank you.” said Urs smiling down at Rachael again.

They arrived in Birmingham and after checking into their hotel and dumping their stuff they all headed to the arena to do the sound check. Else, Jodie and Rachael went inside whilst the guys stopped to talk to the fans waiting outside and sign autographs. Else went to make sure their suits were okay and didn’t need anything doing to them then she went to find Jodie who was on the stage with Rachael and the rest of the band. A couple of minutes later they were joined by the guys and they started. Else took Rachael down into the front row and they sat and watched them sing Passera and Mama with Urs dedicating it, as always to all the mothers in the crowd, smiling down at Else as he said it. She smiled back at him and put her arms round Rachael as they watched him.

They were done a few minutes later and were heading back out to go to the hotel, the guys stopping for the few fans that hadn’t been there when they went in. They all went to their rooms for some time to themselves before the show. Else and Urs were going over some of the dates they could get married on while Rachael watched some tv. They had to wait until they were finished the rest of the tour if they wanted to go straight on their honeymoon. If they didn’t mind waiting there was a few free dates they could pick if they decided quickly. Urs stretched and threw the papers he was looking over onto the table in front of him. “I’m going to have a shower babe then maybe a little sleep before the show.” Else nodded and kissed him and watched him walk towards the bathroom pulling his top off as he went and dropping it onto a chair he passed. She grinned as it missed and slid onto the floor, she stood up and went to pick it up for him when she felt his arms go round her waist and pull her backwards into the bathroom with him. She leaned against the door pinned in by his arms and looked into his eyes which were sparkling. He leaned in and kissed her, softly at first then deepening it. When he pulled away she said “Rachael.” He smiled and said “She’s watching the tv, she won’t miss you for a few minutes.” She shivered as she felt his breath on her skin as he whispered something in her ear and then his lips as they kissed their way down her neck. She sighed and ran her hands up and into his curls. His lips came back up to meet hers and they seemed to stay in that position forever when they suddenly heard “Mummy” coming from the other side of the door. Urs pulled away from her slowly and kissing her again softly stepped into the shower letting her go and see to Rachael.

Three hours later and they were once again heading back to the arena, Else didn’t know how they did it for the length of time they did. It felt like they never stopped in one place for longer than a couple of hours. She felt like she had to do something about Rachael, she was spending every night up late and sleeping on the bus whilst travelling. It wasn’t doing her any good and she needed to talk to Urs about maybe her not going to the shows at night with them and her staying back with Rachael so she could be in bed at a proper time for a 4 year old. As always the show went well, Urs telling the crowd that they had just heard Siempre had gone Triple Platinum and thanking them all for buying it and continuing to support them. They finished the last song and made their way off the stage. They all got showered and changed while Else sorted out their clothes for the next night. When they got back to the hotel the others went to find somewhere to eat but she went up with Rachael and ordered something from room service. She watched Rachael lying in bed but not sleeping and then looked up as the door opened and Urs walked in carrying a tray of food. “I found the waiter just about to knock on the door and stopped him in case he woke Rachael up.” She smiled and said “She isn’t sleeping yet, are you miss?” she said towards the body in the bed. It wriggled but didn’t speak and they both laughed.

Urs put the tray down and sat beside Else who sighed and said “I need to talk to you about her. I don’t like her being up so late every night and then not sleeping because she is doing it during the day.” He nodded and said “I know, its not the best way to bring up a child and I never wanted to have to do it, but I love you both so much that I couldn’t cope with being apart from you both when we’re away for months at a time.” She sighed and said “I know, I couldn’t do it either. So I was thinking that maybe I could stop coming to the shows every night, your clothes can been seen to and fixed during the day or when we arrive at the arena. I don’t need to be there during the show and I could stay at the hotel with her and put her to bed at a proper time.” He shook his head and said “No, I want you to be at the shows, I like you being there every night and knowing that I’m singing to you. We’ll just have to think of another way, maybe we could only stay at hotels with a babysitting service.” Else, who had just curled up in Urs arms suddenly shot up and said “That’s it.” He looked at her funny and said “What’s it?” She sat down again and said “I have to talk to someone first, but hopefully this will work out.” He looked at her and realised slowly that she wasn’t going to say anymore so he let it drop and they started to eat what she had ordered before getting into bed and falling asleep in each others arms.

The next week went past quickly with them spending all their time either travelling or performing. Else had never mentioned their conversation again and Urs thought she had just forgotten about it. He got a shock after they had been dropped of at their hotel in Nottingham when Steve turned up and asked her if she was ready to go. She nodded at him and said “I’ll meet you in the car.” then turned to Urs and said “I’ve left Rachael with Jodie, I’ll see you later babe” kissed him quickly and left before he had a chance to ask her where she was going. He went to look for Jodie and found only David in their room. He sat down and said “Do you know what’s going on? Else has just gone off somewhere with Steve and left Rachael with Jodie.” David looked at him and shook his head saying “Sorry man, all I know is that Jodie said she was looking after Rachael this afternoon.” Urs frowned. He didn’t like it when he felt the way he did just then. He took his phone out and dialled Else’s number but it went straight to the answer phone and Steve’s just rang for ages without being answered. He looked at David again and said “I’m going to the gym for a while.” and walked out of the room.

An hour later and Jodie was back at the hotel and in the bar having a drink with Rachael when he came out of the gym and saw them sitting there. He went up to them and sat down beside them then said to Jodie “Where is she and what is she doing?” Jodie looked at him in surprise at the way he had spoken and said “If she didn’t tell you then she obviously didn’t want you to know.” She stood up then and walked away from him, Rachael following her. He stared at them as they got further away and swore. What was wrong with him, why was he being like this? He shook his head and went up to their room to have a shower. He stood under the water for ages until it had gone cold trying to figure out what was wrong with him. He finally got out and dried himself off then wrapped the towel loosely round his waist and walked out into the room not really paying attention to anything. He looked up as he heard Else say “Urs, there you are. I want you to meet Rose, the answer to our problem with Rachael.” He looked at her again and then to the older woman standing beside her. He said “Rose, your neighbour from back in London.” She nodded and he smiled then realised he was only wearing a towel and blushed. “I’ll just get dressed and be right back.” he said picking up some clothes and heading back into the bathroom. Else laughed and said to Rose “You can meet him properly when he comes back.” Just then the door opened and Jodie and Rachael came in and when she saw her Rachael ran into her arms and said “Auntie Rose” Rose lifted her up and said “Oh, I’ve missed you.” She put her down again and looked at Jodie and said “You have to be Jodie!! I never knew Else had a sister, but I’m so glad that you found each other again.” Urs appeared again and seeing Jodie said “I’m sorry for earlier, I didn’t mean it the way it came out. I was just worried.” Else looked at them and said “What happened?” Urs shook his head and said “I don’t know what was wrong with me, you went off without telling me where you were going, David didn’t know, neither you or Steve would answer your phones and after spending an hour in the gym I saw Jodie and let out all my frustration on her.” Jodie smiled and said “Its okay Urs, I didn’t need to snap back at you.

Else hugged him and said “I’m sorry babe, I didn’t mean to worry you, I was wanting to keep it quiet in case it didn’t work out.” He nodded and said “That’s okay, you said she was our answer to the problem with Rachael?” Rose looked at him and said “I was really shocked but happy to get a phone call from Else nearly a week ago, she said she had a proposal for me.” Else nodded and said “It was when you said that maybe we should only stay in hotels with babysitting services that I thought of Rose, apart from you guys, she is the only other person I felt safe leaving Rachael with.” She stopped for a breath then carried on “I checked if it was alright with Steve first, then asked her if she would like to come with us when we’re on the road to look after Rachael for us at nights.” “And I said yes of course.” said Rose. “I missed them both so much when they left with you lot and it gives me the chance to meet the guy she couldn’t stop talking about.” “Rose.” said Else blushing. Urs laughed and said “I like you already.” Else hit him and said “Rose, this is the man who changed my life and made me and Rachael very happy, my fiancee Urs.” He picked Rachael up and put his arm round Else and said “And these two very beautiful ladies made me realise that my life wasn’t nearly as good as I thought It had been.”

Rose smiled and said “I can see how happy you both are, there were times when I never thought Else would find happiness. I couldn’t believe the difference I saw in her when I saw her at the airport.” Just then the door opened and David appeared saying “We’ve got to go, Seb and Carlos have already gone.” He left again taking Jodie with him and Auds said “You have to come with us tonight and see them sing Rose, they’re amazing.” She smiled and said “I’d love to.” as Urs kissed Else on the cheek. They went to the arena and did the show then went back to the hotel where Rose said “I’ll go up with Rachael, you two stay down and have a drink with the others and don’t hurry up, we’ll be fine.” Else smiled and said “Thank you” then both her and Urs kissed Rachael goodnight and followed the others into the bar.

The next couple of weeks passed quickly with a routine having been formed of Rose spending the days with Else and the others then staying at the hotel at night and putting Rachael to bed at a normal time. She kept her in her room with her so that Urs and Else didn’t wake her up when they came in late plus it gave them some time to themselves. They were heading for the airport to go to Finland when Else’s phone rang, she answered it and talked for a while then hung up and turned to Urs and said “That was mum, she’s just had a phone call from the minister saying we can have the church on the date we asked for, so she booked it.” He grinned and said “That’s wonderful, we can start planning everything else now that we have a date.” He took a look at her face and said “What are you thinking babe?” She smiled and said “I still can’t believe sometimes that I have my sister and my mum back in my life and now I’m planning my wedding to the only man who ever made me feel like I could be truly happy.” He put his arm round her and pulled her in close and said “And I’m going to make you happy for a long time babe, you and me are going to grow old with each other.” She sighed as he kissed her cheek and they sat like that until the car stopped.

When they landed and arrived at their hotel Else went straight to Jodie and David’s room and told Jodie that they had to start looking for dresses now as they only had a couple of months to get it all done. They had picked a date after they had finished the tour so that they could go on honeymoon straight away. Urs was organising that and wasn’t going to tell her where they were going until the very last minute. He wanted to keep it a surprise. She spent a lovely afternoon with her going through magazines, brochures and catalogues, David having disappeared after being asked for the 100th time what he thought of something! He went down to the bar and found Urs and Seb in there and sat down beside them and said “I think you and me will be spending a lot of time together until after we’ve both got married.” Urs looked at him strangely and said “Why?” Because your fiancee is in my room with my fiancee talking about wedding dresses, bridesmaids dresses, flower girl dresses, flower arrangements, wedding cars, what food to chose. If I got shown one more thing and asked what I thought of it I would have screamed. So I came out to find you and I think you’ll probably be doing the same or spending a lot more time in the gym.” Urs and Seb laughed as he finished and Urs said “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” David shook his head and said “You’ll soon see for yourself.” then he went off to get himself a drink and sat down again.

Urs soon realised that David had been right, if the girls weren’t in one room they were in the other and if it was his then he got out pretty quickly. He was happy to see them both happy and smiling again though, he just didn’t want to sit through all the planning with them. He hoped the happiness would last for a long time, after everything they’d been through they deserved only good things to happen and he was determined to give them just that. He was just leaving their room and walking down the hallway when he heard “Oors, Oors.” he turned and smiled as he saw Rachael running towards him and he picked her up and swung her round then said “Hey you, what have you been up to?” He smiled at Rose as she reached them both and said “Why don’t you go and see how the girls are getting on with their planning. I’ll take care of this one for now.” She smiled and said “That would be lovely, thanks Urs.” and she went into the room he had just come out of.

He put Rachael up on his shoulders and headed off to find David. They found him in his room and pulling Rachael down he said “Rachael and I are just off to get some ice cream and wondered if you would like to come with us?” David’s face broke into a grin and said “I’m always ready for ice cream!” Urs laughed and the three of them left the hotel in search of somewhere that sold it, Rachael being swung between them.

Else and Jodie were still going through their plans and ideas when Jodie got a call. She answered it and talked for a minute then listened. Else watched her face fall and wondered who it was. She smiled again then and said “Yes, we’ll take it, thank you.” then she hung up. “What’s wrong Jodes, who was that?” asked Else. She sighed and said “The minister of the church we booked. There has been a problem with the date we booked.” “Oh no, Jodie, I’m so sorry, what’s happened?” “He’s been waiting for word to go into hospital to have an operation and he just got his date.” She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. Else said “The date you two picked for the wedding?” Jodie nodded slowly. “Oh babe, I’m sorry.” She hugged her and said “What are you going to do now?” Jodie looked at her and said “Well, you know that we were going to wait until after you and Urs so that we weren’t taking away from your day?” she took a breath as Else nodded and said “He gave me the date of a cancellation he’s just had and I said we would take it cos he has nothing after it at all this year.” She stopped again and said “I’m sorry sis, it’s the week before your date. I hope you don’t mind, I just couldn’t wait til next year to marry David, I’m sorry.” Else pulled her into a hug and said “Don’t be sorry, you did what you had to do and I don’t mind you getting married before me, you are the oldest after all, seems fair that you should get married first!!” She laughed as Jodie hit her then said “Ok, so we need to go dress shopping soon then.” “Yeah, and I need to tell David I’ve moved the wedding forward a couple of months!” They laughed as they could both see his reaction now.

*2 weeks later*

The girls had just left to look for both their dresses and David and Urs were going to sort out their honeymoons, obviously David and Jodie were waiting for Urs and Else’s wedding before they left on their one. They were both keeping it a secret from the girls where they were taking them, wanting it to be a surprise. After they had finalised all the details they went to get some lunch and once they were seated David said “You don’t mind us getting married before you two do you? I know its not what we all had planned, them being so close together.” Urs shook his head and said “No, I would have done the same thing, there is no way I could wait until next year to marry Else, I want her to be my wife as soon as possible.” David smiled and said “I know the feeling, I never thought I would be so happy or that one of my closest friends would be as happy as I am with her sister.” Urs laughed and then thought for a minute and said “So, if we’re marrying sisters, does that make us brothers?” David smiled and said “Brother in Law’s, I never thought of that!!” The food arrived then and they sat in silence for a while then David said “How’s the adoption coming along?” Urs smiled widely and said “Great, all the documents are ready, everyone who needs to has signed them now apart from Else. I’m going to give them to her the night before the wedding.” David smiled and said “She is going to be thrilled, you know that.” Urs nodded and said “I know, I can’t wait to see her face when I tell her.” They finished eating, paid the bill and made their way back to the hotel.

Jodie was sitting in a shop changing room with Rose and Rachael waiting for Else to come out and show them the dress she was trying on, they had been there for hours already and had chosen Jodie’s dress, Rachael’s flower girl dresses, two of them so she had a different one for each wedding and Else’s bridesmaid dress. They still had to get Jodie’s bridesmaid dress and Else’s dress. The curtain opened then and Else appeared in front of them in an absolutely gorgeous dress. Jodie put a hand over her mouth then said “That’s its sis, that’s the one. Urs will die when he see’s you walking down the aisle towards him in that.” She smiled and said “Well, maybe its not such a good idea then, I don’t want him to die.” Jodie hit her and said “You know what I meant!” She looked at Rachael and said “What do you think darling, do you like mummy’s dress?” She nodded and said “You look pretty.” Else smiled and said “That’s it then, I think everyone likes this one, so I shall take it.” “Like.” said Jodie “I love it, how come I didn’t see it when I was getting mine!” then she grinned at the look on Else’s face. “I’m only joking, it looks like it was made for you hun, it belongs to you.” Else hugged her then went back to get changed and they started again this time for Jodie’s bridesmaid dress.

After they had decided on that, they paid for them all and arranged to pick them up in a week and then they headed off to the park near the hotel for a while to let Rachael play as she had been stuck in the shop for a long time. The girls sat and watched her and realised they only had another week of the tour left, of the hotel rooms, of living out of suitcases. Then only another week after that before the first wedding so it really wasn’t going to take long to come round.

It was the last night of the tour and the guys were backstage in Rotterdam in their various dressing rooms. Else was with Urs who was unusually for him quite jumpy. She looked at him and said “What’s wrong babe? You seem a little nervous.” He smiled at her and said I’m sorry, I’m always like this on the last night of a tour. I don’t know why.” She gave him a hug then said “But you know there will be more tours, you guys are going to be around for years more.” He looked up as there was a knock on the door and Steve popped his head in and said “Time to go.” He nodded then kissed Else before they left the room. She made her way down to her seat and sat back to watch them sing for the last time.

After the show there was a party organised for all the crew, band, orchestra etc.. anyone who had been involved in the process of the show would be there. Rose was looking after Rachael one more time before going back to London. Jodie was getting ready in their room while David was in the shower. She had just finished her hair and was starting on her make up when he appeared in the room with her. She squealed as she felt his cold hands on her bare back and she turned to see him looking at her with his eyes sparkling. She stood up and he kissed her and put his arms round her. She felt his hands move up to her neck and the ties keeping her dress shut coming loose. She put a hand up to stop him and said “David, we’ll be late.” he kept kissing her moving down to her neck and shoulders. “And Urs and Else are going to be waiting for us.” he moved her hand off his and let the dress fall to the floor. “You know how he hates people being late.” said Jodie but she knew she was losing and ran her hands over his chest stopping at the top of the towel he was wearing and ran a finger underneath it. She pushed him away slightly and then pulled it of him then went to lie on the bed. He followed her and lay beside her, he reached up and pulled the clips holding her hair up out so that it fell down over her shoulders. She groaned and said “David, that took me ages to put up.” He kissed her to stop her speaking and then kissed her from head to toe before making love to her.

They were lying there cuddled up when there was a knock on the door. Jodie got up and picked up her dress and put it back on before answering it. She found Else and Urs standing there, Urs looked like he was about to burst and Else just turned a laugh into a cough when she saw the state of Jodie. Urs walked in past her and saw David in the bed and said “You do remember that we have a party tonight and you were meant to be downstairs half an hour ago. Seb and Carlos left already, we’re going to be really late because you’re too lazy too move.” He turned as he heard Else and Jodie laughing and said “What is so funny?” Jodie shook her head and started to redo her hair while Else said “I don’t think he is being lazy babe, just otherwise busy. Lets go and wait for them downstairs, give them peace to get dressed.” He shook his head and said “I’m not leaving here again without them.” and he crossed his arms and stood firm. David winked at Jodie and said “Okay then, but I warn you, I’m not wearing anything under this sheet.” he sat up and went to push it over when Urs looked at Else who was trying to keep a straight face and said “Fine, we’ll wait outside the door, you have 5 minutes.” and he grabbed Else’s hand and dragged her out of the room. David started laughing and he got up and got dressed. They finally left the hotel almost an hour late.

They had all had a great night at the party and had said a sad goodbye to all the people they had been working alongside and had now been on holidays for a few days. David, Jodie, Urs, Else and Rachael were all back in London putting the final touches to their plans. Seb had gone home to Paris to see his family as had Carlos to Madrid. Finally it was the night before Jodie and David’s big day and Jodie was staying with Else while Urs went to stay with David and the other two for a night of drinking. The girls were also having a night in with some wine, girlie dvd’s and beauty treatments. It was around midnight when they all headed off for bed for a good nights sleep.

*The wedding day*

In the morning it was busy at David’s but it was hectic at Else’s and Rachael kept getting caught up in everyone’s way and finally shut herself in her room out of the way. The girls mum Janet was there, as well as Rose and two other girls, one doing their hair, the other doing the make up. After what seemed like ages they were finally ready. The girls dad had just arrived as they were making their way down the stairs into the living room. The door opened and Else came in with Rachael followed by Jodie. Janet had tears in her eyes as she saw how beautiful they all looked and their dad said “You are all looking gorgeous girls.” They posed for some photos their mum wanted and then they made their way out to the cars waiting for them. Rose had left already as she was making her own way to the church so Else, Rachael and Janet went in the first car and Jodie and her dad in the second. Once they reached the church they walked inside, Else and Rachael going down the aisle first followed by Jodie and their dad who let go of her when she reached the side of David. He smiled at her and mouthed “You look beautiful.” She smiled back and mouthed “So do you.” They turned to the minister then and the ceremony went ahead. It lasted for half an hour and after kissing the bride David and Jodie walked back down the aisle as Mr and Mrs David Miller.

After having pictures taken outside the church they got into the car and headed for the hotel the reception was going to be in. David poured Jodie a glass of champagne from the bottle in the car for them and handed it to her then got one for himself and turned to look at her and said “To my wonderful wife, who is looking very gorgeous today. That dress is stunning babe.” Jodie blushed and said “I can’t believe we’re married and thank you, I knew you would like it.” He smiled and said “I’ll like it a lot more tonight when I’m taking it off you.” She blushed then said “I can’t wait.” and winked at him. They arrived at the hotel then and they got out and had another load of pictures taken then they went in and sat down for the dinner and the speeches. Shortly afterwards they moved to another room in the hotel where the band had been setting up and once everyone was in the singer said “Could we please have the bride and groom for their first dance?” Jodie smiled as she took the hand David had offered her and they made there way into the middle of the dance floor and put their arms round each other. The band started playing the song they had chosen.

“Don't pretend you're sorry
I know you're not
You know you got the power
To make me weak inside
Girl you leave me breathless
But it's okay 'cause
You are my survival
Now hear me say
I can't imagine life
Without your love
Even forever don't seem
Like long enough

'Cause everytime I breathe
I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love
Everytime I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love

Maybe I'm a drifter
Maybe not
'Cause I have known the safety
Of floating freely
In your arms
I don't need another lifeline
It's not for me
'Cause only you can save me
Oh can't you see
I can't imagine life
Without your love
And even forever don't seem
Like long enough

'Cause everytime I breathe
I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love
Everytime I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love

Go on and pull me under
Cover me with dreams, yeah
Love me mouth to mouth now
You know I can't resist
'Cause you're the air
That I breathe

'Cause everytime I breathe
I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love
Everytime I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
And baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning your love

Baby I can't help it
Keep me drowning
In your love
I keep drowning
In your love
Baby I can't help it
Can't help it no, no

'Cause everytime I breathe
I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love
Everytime I try to rise above
I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
Drowning in your love”

Urs and Else had joined them on the floor halfway through and Urs smiled and said to Else “This will be us next week.” She smiled back at him and rested her head on his shoulder as they danced in each others arms. The rest of the night seemed to go really quickly and before they realised it Jodie and David were leaving and she was throwing her bouquet of flowers. They all laughed when Else caught it and she said “Thanks sis, I’ll try and get you mine next week!” They all left pretty much after that and went back to their own places except for David and Jodie who were actually staying in the hotel honeymoon suite for the night.

David was in the bedroom while Jodie was in the bathroom changing out of her dress, he had poured two glasses of champagne and was taking a sip of his when the door opened and she walked into the room. David’s mouth dropped open as he stared at her, she was wearing a long ankle length black negligee with a split almost up to her thigh and was very low cut. He slowly closed it as she stood in front of him and she kissed him softly and said “I love you.” He ran a finger down the neckline of the negligee and said “I love you too Mrs Miller.” She sighed happily as he kissed her softly on the mouth then moved down her neck and shoulders before he retraced the trail he’d just done with his finger with his lips. He ran one hand up into her hair while the other caressed her back. He moaned as he felt her hand moving over his chest and he picked her up and almost threw her onto the bed. He looked at her as she propped herself up on the pillows and she could see the desire in his eyes. He knelt down at the bottom of the bed and crawled up to meet her running a hand slowly up her leg pushing the silky material up with him. He whispered something in her ear which made her laugh and run her hand down his chest and stop at the top of his boxer shorts. She grinned and ran one finger just under the top of them. He shivered and caught her hand bringing it up to his lips and kissed it softly. She curled her arm round his neck and lay there just letting him show her how he really felt about her.

A few days later and Urs was just coming out of a jewellers when he bumped into Jodie. He hugged her and said “He’s finally let you out of the house then?” She laughed and nodded then said “We kind of just had a pre honeymoon before we actually leave for the real one.” He looked at her and said “I’m sorry you couldn’t leave straight away, it must have been weird just going home after the night in the hotel.” She shook her head and said “Don’t be sorry, we wouldn’t want it any other way Urs, we want to be here for your wedding. Only a couple more days to go.” He grinned and said “Yes, I was just in getting Else and Rachael something to wear for the wedding, I’m going to give them to them tomorrow night before I leave.” “I’m sure they’ll love it.” she looked at her watch and said “I really got to go Urs, I’m sorry.” She gave him another hug and headed off again while Urs went back to the house.

It was the night before the wedding and Urs, Else and Rachael were having dinner together before he left to go stay at David’s for the night. After they were fid all cleared up Urs took Else and Rachael by the hand and sat them down in the lounge. He then went over to a drawer and pulled out a large envelope and two small boxes. He sat down on the floor in front of them and said “Else, I have been planning this since we were on the road touring and I wanted it to be a surprise, its all in here, everything has been signed and all it needs, if you’re happy with it that is, is your signature to make it official.” She looked at him with a confused look on her face and said “What have you done Urs?” He let out a long breath and said “You know how much I love you don’t you and how much I love Rachael like she’s my own daughter.” She nodded and he handed her the envelope and said “This is for you.” He watched as she opened it and took the papers out slowly and smiled as he saw her eyes widen when she realised what she was holding. “She looked at him and said “You did all this, for us?” He took Rachael’s hand and pulled her onto his knee and said “This is my wedding present to you, from tomorrow you will be Mrs Buhler and my wife and I want Rachael to be my daughter, officially Rachael Buhler and all you need to do is sign your name and she will be.” He looked down at Rachael and said “You and your mum are the best things to happen to me and I want you to be mine forever. I want to be your daddy, would you like me to be your daddy?”

She looked at Else who smiled at her and she said “I would like that Oors, I never had a daddy.” Else laughed and said “Now you do, Urs will be your daddy.” She stood up and went to find a pen then opening the papers signed her name and put them back in the envelope. Rachael had sat on the couch again and Else wrapped her arms round him and said “You are the most wonderful, thoughtful man in the world and I love you so much. He reached up and kissed her softly then said “I have one more thing for each of you, something for you to wear at the wedding.” He handed Else a box and she opened it to find a gorgeous necklace inside. She took it out and said “Oh Urs, its gorgeous, I love it.” He reached out and took it from her and put it on for her to see. “You can use it as something new and something blue.” he said. She looked at him in amazement and said “You are full of surprises aren’t you.” He smiled and said “I have got sisters that have been married, I know all about all this stuff.” She grinned and kissed him again then he handed Rachael the other box and she opened it and took out a bracelet in silver and gold. Else said “Urs, you shouldn’t have done that, it looks really expensive.” He smiled and said “Its from an Italian jeweller, I had it made especially for Rachael.” She shook her head and said “Have I told you how wonderful you are?” He nodded and said “Yes, but you can always tell me again.” She laughed and hit him on the arm. He pouted and came up to sit beside her on the couch, Rachael having disappeared into her room, and put his arm round her pulling her into his side and she laid her head on his shoulder and said “When are you leaving for David’s?” He looked at his watch and said “I said I’d be there about 7, so we’ve got 30 minutes left together and then the next time we see each other will be when I’m making you Mrs Urs Buhler.” She sighed happily and said “Can we make the most of those 30 minutes then?” and she stood up and pulled him into their bedroom shutting the door behind them.

The next day and the house was as busy as it had been the previous week, the only difference being Else wearing the wedding dress and Jodie the bridesmaid dress. They spent the morning rushing about, music playing, they sat down for some lunch before starting to get ready with a glass of champagne. The girls dad wasn’t there this time though, Else had spoken to him and said that if he didn’t mind she wanted to walk down the aisle with Rachael as it had been just the two of them for the last 4 years and she felt it was the right thing to do, he had said he understood, so Jodie and Janet were going in the first car and Else and Rachael in the second. It was soon time to leave and Jodie and Rachael appeared first in their dresses then Else walked through the door. Janet had tears in her eyes as she said “I can’t believe both my girls are getting married.” She took some photo’s of them all then they got into their cars. The first one pulled away but Else asked her driver to wait for a few minutes to give them time to get there first. After five minutes they set off as well.

David and Us were sitting at the front of the church and Urs couldn’t believe how nervous he was, it had been the longest morning ever waiting for this moment. He couldn’t wait to see her walking towards him, she had been beautiful the week before and he knew she would be even more so today. He smiled and nodded at something David had just said to him. The minister motioned to them to come and stand at the altar ready. Urs took a breath and they went to stand and wait.

They stood there for 10 minutes and nothing happened, the minister checked his watch and said something to David. Urs was looking worried and David whispered something to him, he nodded and watched as David walked down the aisle and disappeared out of the door at the back of the church. He found Jodie and Janet pacing about outside and he went straight to Jodie and said “Baby, where are they? Urs is really worried and the minister is saying that he’s got another wedding in soon and he can’t wait much longer.” Jodie looked at him and said “I don’t know, they should have been here ages ago, they got into their car at the same time we got into ours, I’m worried David.” He gave her a hug and said “I have to go back in, try not to worry, the car maybe just broke down.” She nodded but didn’t look convinced as she went back to watching the road. Urs saw David walking back in and his shoulders dropped when he shook his head. He spoke to the minister who shook his head sadly and let him up to speak. “Everyone, this is hard, but I’m sorry to say that we have to leave, the church is booked again for another wedding and as there is no sign of Else, we have to leave. But please, go back to the hotel and enjoy the food, the drink and the music. I’m really sorry once again.” then he ran off into the back of the church, David following him. He turned and David saw tears in his eyes as he said “Where is she David? She wouldn’t not turn up, she told me last night she loved me and she signed the adoption papers, she wouldn’t do that then not turn up.” He turned away as David said “She did leave, Jodie said they got into their car at the same time as her and Janet.” Just then Seb appeared and said “We have to get out of the church.” He looked at Urs and said “I’m sorry Urs, do you want to go to the hotel?” He shook his head and said “No, I just want to go home, I can’t face anyone.” He nodded and said to David “You take him, Carlos and I will go to the hotel and tell people he isn’t coming then we’ll meet you there.” David nodded and got Urs who had sank to the floor and had his head in his hands, up and out into the car along with Jodie and Janet and headed for Urs’ place.

An hour passed and still nobody knew where Else was. Seb and Carlos had arrived and were sitting there quietly along with David, Urs, Jodie, Janet and their dad. Jodie and Janet had told Urs about how the morning went and how happy Else had been, how they had gotten ready and posed for photo’s then they had both got into their cars at the same time. Jodie and Janet arrived at the church but Else and Rachael didn’t. He hadn’t said a single word since they’d got back. Just then the doorbell rang and he looked up and said “That’s her, she won’t have had her key with her.” He went to let her in but opened the door to find two policemen standing there instead. He stared at them and nodded slowly as one of them said “Are you Urs Buhler?” He let them in and took them through to where the others were. The policemen looked round them and felt so sorry for them all sitting there still in their suits and dresses. They sat down and said to Urs “Do you know an Else Emerson Jackson and a Rachael Emerson Jackson?” He nodded and said “Rachael Buhler, my daughter and Else is my fiancee. We were meant to be getting married today.” The two policemen looked at each other and the one who hadn’t spoken yet said “I’m very sorry, but I have to tell you that there has been an accident. The car that they were in got hit by a truck, it hit them straight on.” He stared at them and said very slowly “Are they okay?” There was silence for a minute then one of them said “I’m very sorry…” he stopped when there was a scream from Jodie as she collapsed. David caught her before she hit the ground and just held her still. Urs was silent, he looked at the men in shock and said “No, they can’t be gone, its not them, Else just had cold feet and ran off, she’ll be back.” One of the policemen took an envelope out of his pocket and said “We took these off them, do you recognise them?” Urs took the envelope and pulled out the necklace that he’d given her last night and the bracelet he’d given to Rachael. He closed his eyes and remembered the look on her face when she’d seen it. He opened them again and said very slowly and in a shaky voice “Yes, I gave them to them yesterday, one of my wedding presents to them.” He stood up then and walked away clutching the items in his hand. They heard his bedroom door shut then something smashing followed by more smashing.

The others were all in shock, Jodie still crying in David’s arms. He tightened his hold on her and said “How long was it before ..” he stopped unable to finish the sentence. “It was a head on hit, the truck driver was drunk and going to fast, they died instantly and didn’t suffer.” said one of the men. “We won’t need anyone to identify the bodies now that we know it was definitely them.” He reached into his pocket and took out another envelope and said “We also found this with them. Maybe you can pass it on to Mr Buhler for us.” he handed it to David who nodded and they stood up then and one of them said “I really am sorry, I hate this part of the job.” They let themselves out of the flat and David looked at the envelope he was holding and said “Oh god.” He handed it to Seb who read it and said “To daddy, love Rachael.”

The hours had seemed to go very slowly since the policemen had left and nobody had really moved and Urs hadn’t left his room at all. Seb, Carlos and the girls dad had all just left promising they would be back the next day. David was still sitting on the floor holding Jodie who had finally stopped crying while Janet was still sitting where she had been, she was quiet, having cried silently and now was just staring into the space in front of her. David let go of Jodie for a minute and tried to stand up but she pulled him down and wouldn’t let go of his arm. He put his arm round her and said something quietly to her then she let him go and he went over to where Janet was and said something to her, she nodded and moved down to beside Jodie putting her arms round her and holding her. He then went over to Urs bedroom door and knocked gently on it. There was no sound from inside so he opened the door slowly and went inside. The room was in darkness, but he could see from the lights outside the window that there was glass all over the floor from everything he had smashed and there was a chair upturned with a broken leg and he couldn’t see Urs anywhere. As his eyes got used to the darkness he saw him curled up on the floor in the corner of the room. He walked over to him and knelt down and said “Urs” He never moved so he touched him softly on the arm and said “Urs, its David.” He waited a couple of minutes then stood up and said “I’ll be just outside the door when you want to talk.” He took a step away when Urs moved and said “Don’t go please.” He said it so quietly that David hardly heard it and he knelt down again and said “Its okay, I’m here.” Urs turned to look at him and he could see the pain etched all over his face. His eyes were red from crying and he was so pale you could almost see through him. He sniffed and said “Why David, why Else?” David shook his head and said “I don’t know Urs, I really don’t know.”

Urs sniffed and said “I told her I would never let anything bad happen to her again, we were going to be a proper family and start a new life together. Me, Else and Rachael.” The tears ran down his face again and David thought of the letter in his pocket. He didn’t know when would be the best time to give it to him then said “Urs, I need to take Jodie home with Janet then I will come straight back here. Will you be okay until I get back?” He sniffed again then said “Don’t come back, stay with Jodie, I’ll be okay.” David looked at him and said “I don’t want to leave you alone Urs, not tonight.” Urs shook his head and said “I just want to be alone, please, stay with Jodie, she needs you too.” David sighed and said “If that’s what you want, but I’ll be back in the morning.” He put his hand in his pocket and said “I’m going to leave this letter for you on the table out there. The policemen gave it to us to give to you.” Urs nodded and turned away from David again. He looked at him worriedly, he didn’t want to leave him alone in case he did something stupid. He walked slowly towards the door then opened it and left him where he’d found him. He put the letter on the table in the kitchen and then went to get Jodie and Janet and they left the house.

He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there after he had heard his front door shutting but eventually he got himself up off the floor and made his way into the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and looked away again quickly. He went through into the kitchen and found the letter David had left. He picked it up and felt the tears starting again as he read ‘To Daddy’ on it. He took it through to the living room and curled up on the couch and slowly opened the envelope and took the paper inside out. He opened it and found himself looking at a picture of three people and a dog. The little girl had Rachael above her, the woman had mummy above it and the man had daddy above it and him and mummy were holding hands. The dog was called bear. The writing underneath said ‘To my new daddy who made my mummy happy and who is going to live with us and our new dog.’ He held the letter close to his heart as he laid his head on the cushions and eventually he cried himself to sleep.

He was still lying there asleep when David came back in the morning, he had just let himself in after taking Urs keys with him the night before. Seeing he was sleeping he went into the bedroom and started to clean up the mess in there for him. He was busy doing that when he smelt coffee and he went through to the kitchen and found Urs up and making breakfast. He stood there in the doorway watching as Urs stood there making toast and coffee as if it was a normal day. He coughed and Urs looked up and said “David, what are you doing here? And how did you get in?” David looked at him and said “I let myself in and I came to see how you were today?” Urs poured the coffee into a cup and took a sip then said “I’m doing okay thanks, do you want a coffee or are you in a hurry?” He walked past him into the living room and David looked at him with a worried look on his face. He followed him through and noticed the letter sitting on the table and sat down saying slowly “Urs, do you remember what happened yesterday?” Urs looked at him and nodded his head and took another sip of his coffee. “Okay, do you need any help with the arrangements then?” he asked. Urs frowned “Arrangements, what arrangements?” “The arrangements for the funerals.” he said. “Oh, no, I’ll be fine with them, but thanks for the offer.” said Urs then looked at David who’d sat himself on the arm of one of the chairs and said ”Are you okay David? You seem a bit funny.” He shook his head and said “Yes, I’m okay, just worried about something. Are you going to be okay? I should get back to Jodie.” Urs nodded and said “I’ll be fine, now will you go and leave me in peace to eat my breakfast.”

David frowned as he wondered what was going through his friends mind. How could he be sitting there as normal as he was after the way he’d left him last night. He stood up slowly and told Urs to call him if he needed anything or wanted to talk then he reluctantly left him alone.

He stopped of at the apartment Carlos and Seb shared on his way back to his place to let them know how worried he was about the way Urs was acting and then left them after they said they would go keep an eye on him.
He felt slightly better knowing that he wasn’t leaving him alone and headed back to see how Jodie was, stopping only to pick up some of her favourite things from the bakers to see if he could get her to eat. She had still been sleeping when he’d left this morning but Janet was there so she wouldn’t have been alone if she’d woken up.

He let himself into the flat and put the shopping down in the kitchen and went to see where she was. The place was quiet so he went quietly into the bedroom where he found her lying awake in the bed. He lay down beside her and said “How are you feeling today?” She shook her head and said “I don’t know, I don’t know what to feel, in this last year I’ve found my sister and my mum and I realised I had a niece, I’ve married you and that is just the good stuff, never mind the bad stuff. Now I’ve lost my sister again and this time I won’t be able to find her. I just don’t know how to feel after all that.” David pulled her into his arms and said “Don’t keep it inside, let it all out, if you want to scream then scream, if you want to cry then cry and if you want to talk, I’m here to listen. That’s how you are going to cope with this, don’t keep it to yourself and don’t pretend it hasn’t happened.” She pulled back and said “Did you go and see Urs? He must be in such a state.” He shook his head and said “Yes, I went to see him early and he was sleeping so I started to clean up the mess he’d made smashing things up last night and then I smelt coffee and found him in the kitchen making breakfast and acting as if nothing had happened.” he looked at her and said “I’m worried about him, I think he’s trying to block out what’s happened by trying to be normal. I asked the other guys to go keep an eye on him.” She put a hand on his arm and said “I’m sure he’ll be fine, he just needs time like all of us do. Is he going to sort out the funerals?” David nodded and said “He said he was.” He stood up then and said “You go and have a shower and I’ll make you some breakfast” “ You have to eat Jodie.” he said seeing the look on her face. “I stopped off at the bakers and got what you like.” She half smiled and said “Okay then. Have you seen mum this morning?” He shook his head and said “No, I don’t think she’s awake yet.” She nodded and said “I’ll go in and see her when I have my shower.”

Carlos and Seb stood in front of Urs apartment and rung the doorbell, they heard a noise from inside then it opened and Urs stood there smiling at them. “Carlos, Sebastien, this is a surprise, come in please.” They looked at each other and then walked inside. Urs came in behind them and said “Can I get you something to drink or eat? I can make us some lunch if you want?” Seb frowned and looked at Carlos who said “Urs, sit down please. We don’t want anything and its just after breakfast, far too early for lunch.” Urs sat down slowly and tapped his fingers absently on the arm of the chair. “Have you decided what to do about the funerals yet?” asked Seb. Urs nodded and said “Else always said she wasn’t fond of small tight places, so I can’t have her lying in a “ he trailed off and took a breath then said “She loved the feeling of being free, of being able to go anywhere when she wanted. I’m going to have her.” he looked down suddenly and bit his lip and blinked really quickly a few times then sniffed and took a deep breath before saying “I’m going to take them both back to where we had our first proper date and scatter them there so that they can both be free.” He stood up and walked through into the kitchen and they heard him opening something and then water running and then silence. Carlos looked at Seb and said “David’s right, he’s doing his best not to think about it, he’s trying to block out what he doesn’t want to feel. Its like he’s doing everything he needs to, but he’s doing it automatically because he knows it needs doing.” Seb nodded and said “It must be so hard on him though, I mean after everything they went through, they were finally getting married and going to start new and then he loses her again. I don’t think we’ll ever know what he’s feeling inside.” They looked up as he walked back into the room and said “I’ve got to go guys, I have a meeting with the funeral director.” He picked up his jacket and keys and headed for the door. Carlos and Seb stood up as well and Seb said “I’ll come with you if you feel like company and I don’t think you should do this alone Urs.” Urs looked at him and said “I know you guys are trying to help, but I want to do this by myself, I need to do it by myself. Please, let me do it by myself.” Seb nodded slowly and said “Okay, we’ll come back and check on you later.” He nodded and shutting the door after them all headed off down the road leaving Seb and Carlos standing there.

Seb watched him go and said “I’m not letting him go anywhere by himself, I’ll follow him and make sure he doesn’t do anything he shouldn’t.” Then he walked off before Carlos could even agree with him. He got into his car and took his phone out to call David and tell him what Seb was doing.

4 days had passed and Urs had remained the same, he tried to be alone as much as possible, the guys had different ideas though and would let him go out by himself and then follow him so that he thought he was alone but wasn’t and someone would always try to be in the apartment with him. He had done all the arranging for the funerals and now he was just spending all his time either in the house listening to music or playing with his guitars and writing songs. He spent a lot of time on the phone as well, he never said who to, but it was always the same person.

It was the night before the funerals and David and Jodie were over at the house with Urs. They were sitting in the living room and Jodie was looking at all the pictures Urs had up of Else and she looked at him and said “How do you cope with these? I mean, seeing her in front of you every day knowing you’re never going to see her again?” Urs was writing something down and didn’t answer her. She looked at David and then said “I wake up every morning happy then I remember what happened and its like I’m hearing it again for the first time. I just can’t believe they’re gone.” She looked round as she felt David’s arms go round her and she leaned back into him then frowned as they looked at Urs again. It was as if he was either ignoring her or he wasn’t hearing her. David went to sit down beside him and said “Urs, what are you writing?” He lifted his head and said “I’m writing down what I want to say about Else tomorrow. I don’t want to miss anything out so I am writing it down.” He looked back to the paper and just stared at it. David shook his head slowly and put his head in his hands. Jodie went to him and motioned towards the kitchen and he got up and followed her and said “I’m really worried about him, I don’t think he’s going to cope tomorrow and afterwards when he hasn’t got anything to keep him busy. He’s just going to lose it and once it hits him that they’re really gone, that’s when he’s going to need us more than ever.” Jodie nodded and said “I don’t really blame him for trying to block it out, if I didn’t have you and mum to talk to and let it all out with I would probably be doing the same as him. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow, I know nobody is, but I lost 10 years of my life with my sister and then only got a year of it back before she got taken away again.” David wiped the tears away that were threatening to fall down her face and said “But at least you get to say goodbye this time. I know you’d rather not be, but you’ll be alright babe, you both will. Its just going to take time.” She nodded and laid her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms round her hugging her tight. They spent the rest of the night with Urs leaving only when he said he was going to bed.

The next day arrived too quickly and everyone was quiet in the morning, Seb having gone to be with Urs and David with Jodie and Janet. They all arrived at the church and went inside to wait for the start. Urs was standing beside a table which had pictures of Else and Rachael on it, David went to stand beside him and he saw that Urs hands were trembling. He put a hand on his arm and said “You are allowed to cry Urs, you don’t need to keep it inside.” Urs bit his bottom lip and shook his head. “I don’t want to cry, if I cry its acknowledging that they’ve gone and I’m not ready to do that.” He ran a finger over the picture of Else and said “I love you babe and I‘m sorry I didn‘t protect you enough.” He felt a tear running down his face and wiped it away sniffing loudly to stop himself. The minister appeared then and he went and sat down with David and Jodie. Everyone who was there listened to the minister talk about how sad and tragic it was when people so young were taken away from their families and their loved ones and how he hadn’t know Else and Rachael that well, but from the stories he’d been told by various people that they were both well loved and would be missed greatly. Jodie was in tears by now and in the arms of Janet. Then he said “I know that Else’s fiance wants to say a few words so I will let him come up now.” He motioned to Urs and he stood up shakily and walked towards the microphone stopping slightly as he passed the pictures again.

He stood there looking out over the people who had come and said slowly. “I never knew Else for long, I only had a year of my life with her, but from the minute I saw her I knew that she was the one for me and after meeting her daughter Rachael I was even more in love with her. I can’t tell you of the huge amount of joy the two of them brought me, this last year was one of the best in my life and that was only made better when I officially adopted Rachael and she became my daughter as well. Unfortunately somebody had other plans for us and instead of getting married the next day like we were meant to, I’m now standing here, still in church, but not on the happiest day of my life, on the worst.” He stopped and took a deep breath then said “I wrote something I wanted to share with you all.”

He took out and piece of paper and unfolded it then said

“Tell me now
How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I live?

Without you,
There’s no sun in my sky,
There is no love in my life,
There’s no world left for me.
And I,
Baby I don't know what to do,
I’m lost without you.

He folded the paper again and rubbed his fingers over his eyes to stop the tears falling and went back to sit down again. The minister finished the service and then they made their way out of the church and they headed back to David and Jodie’s place where they were having a small gathering for those who wanted to go.

*4 months later*

Things had calmed down a bit, the guys had gone back to work although they were still worried about Urs who was still refusing to cry over losing Else and Rachael. He had thrown himself into the work Simon had given them to do and was just carrying on with his life as if nothing had happened. David, Seb and Carlos had all tried talking to him about it, but he just kept saying he was okay and that he was doing things his way. Even Jodie couldn’t get him to talk about it, although she spent the nights talking to David and she was seeing Fiona again too.

Urs was at home waiting for David to pick him up, they had another tv show appearance that night and he wasn’t looking forward to it. He wasn’t wanting to admit it to anyone, he didn’t even want to admit it to himself, but he was finding it a lot harder to cope than he was letting on and all he wanted to do was lie down and go to sleep, not go out to yet another tv studio and smile at people and sing one of their songs because they always seemed to pick the one that reminded him the most of Else. He could feel the tears that he had been keeping back for so long threaten to fall and he took a deep breath and put the book he’d been writing in down and went to wash his face. The doorbell rang on his way and he let David in first saying he would be right back. David looked at him with a worried look on his face then went through to the room Urs had just left to wait for him. He looked round the room at the pictures of Else and Rachael and of the three of them and wondered, not for the first time, why life was so cruel. He sat on the arm of one of the chairs and saw the book Urs had put down, he looked over his shoulder then quickly scanned the page it was open at. He put a hand over his mouth as he read what it said and then heard Urs coming back and moved away from it. He walked through to the kitchen where Urs was and said “Are you sure you’re okay? You look awful Urs.” Urs turned to look at him and saw the worry in his friends face and he suddenly wished he could tell him how he really felt, but he had held it inside for so long now that he didn’t know if he could.

He nodded and said “I’m okay, I’m just tired tonight and want to go to bed, but I’ll be fine once we get there.” he picked up his keys and said “Come on, lets go.” and he walked off picking his jacket up and heading for the car leaving David in the kitchen with a frown on his face.
After the show was finished David took Urs home again and was determined to make him talk to him and knew it would probably be hard so he was surprised when Urs asked him in for a drink. He sat down while Urs made some coffee and he noticed the book again, this time he picked it up and read it through properly then turned the page to see if there was anything else. He didn’t hear Urs coming through and jumped when he said “They’re songs I’ve been writing, about the way I’ve been feeling since they…” he stopped and took a deep breath and said “Since they’ve been gone.” He looked away and David said “Urs, please, you have to let it out, you can’t keep on going the way you are, you’re going to make yourself ill.” Urs didn’t move so David went over to him and knelt on the floor beside the chair he was in and said “Urs, talk to me please.” Urs looked at him and David saw that he had tears running down his face. He wiped them away and said “That’s the first time I’ve said it out loud, first time I’ve admitted it.” He looked at a picture of the 3 of them when they were happy and said “They really aren’t coming back are they?“ David shook his head and said “I’m so sorry Urs” and standing up pulled him into a hug. Urs suddenly couldn’t keep the tears back any longer and he leaned into David and just let them fall. David sat there not knowing what to do, glad that he was finally releasing all the emotions he’d been holding back for the last 4 months but knowing that he was going to be a mess until he started to come to terms with it.

He didn’t know how long they had been sitting there but David was getting very stiff and uncomfortable as he was just sitting on the arm of the chair and he had all of Urs’ weight on him as well. Finally Urs stopped crying and David looked down and saw that he had actually fallen asleep. He still had tears running down his face even though he was sleeping. David managed to get him so he was lying back in the chair and he could move. It didn’t look very comfortable but he didn’t want to risk waking him up by moving him. He got up and walked stiffly over to the kitchen where he took out his phone and called first Seb and Carlos, then Jodie and finally Simon to tell them all that it had finally happened.

He stayed there with him for the rest of the night, not sleeping, just watching over him. He helped him through to his bed when he woke up during the night not knowing where he was or why he was sleeping in the chair. He told him to go back to sleep and he would tell him in the morning, knowing that he was going to have to watch him try and understand something that everyone else had been going through for the last 4 months. He pulled the covers up tight over him and watched him for a minute then left him alone and went back through into the lounge. He sat down and put his head in his hands and wondered if he could cope with this again, he was just feeling like he was coming through it with Jodie and now he was right back again with Urs.

He jumped as he heard a ringing coming from somewhere, he sat up and winced, he must have fallen asleep in the chair and now he was in pain. He heard the ringing again and picked up his phone and said “Hello” but nobody spoke back and he realised he could still hear the ringing. He stood up slowly and followed the sound realising all of a sudden that it was the doorbell. He opened it and saw Seb and Carlos standing there, he let them in and wandered slowly behind them. They stared at him and said “You look terrible, have you been up all night?” He shook his head and said “I must have fallen asleep, I woke up in one of the chairs with you ringing the bell.” Seb looked at the chair and said “No wonder you look bad, that chair is way too small for you to sleep in.” then hid a smile as David said “Really? I wouldn’t have noticed.” Carlos said “Where’s Urs and how is he?” David sighed and said “He’s in bed sleeping, he’s not good, he finally admitted that they weren’t coming back last night, said it was the first time he’d said it out loud. He cried in my arms for hours until he eventually cried himself to sleep.” He shook his head and said “I left him in the chair because I didn’t want to wake him to move him but he woke during the night and he didn’t know where he was or why he was sleeping in the chair. Its really going to hit him hard when he wakes up and I don’t know if I can go through it all again, not now when Jodie is just starting to come to terms with it all.” Seb and Carlos looked at each other and Seb said “Why don’t you go home and get some proper sleep, we’ll take care of him when he wakes up.” David shook his head and said “I can’t, I told him I would tell him everything that’s happened when he woke up.” Carlos shook his head and said “Then get some more sleep here, we’ll wake you up when he wakes up.” He shook his head and said “I won’t sleep now anyway, lets make some coffee and then I want to show you something.” He walked through into the kitchen with the other two following and he made them all some coffee.

After they had drunk it he went through and picked up the book Urs had been using to write his feelings down in and he showed them the page that he’d read the night before. They both read it quietly and then they looked up and Carlos said “How did he think he could cope by doing that, he must have known that he would see her, feel her in everything we did, she was a part in almost everything we did.” David nodded “I think he’s been telling us he didn’t want to talk about it when he really has and after he kept it in for so long it just got that much harder for him to admit it, so he just kept it inside and wrote it all down in here.” Seb picked it up and looked at it again and said “This would make a very good song, do you think he would ever be able to record it?” They all turned then as they heard a voice saying “No, I don’t think I could ever sing that song in public, it means too much and I wouldn’t be able to sing it without hurting too much.” David went straight to his side and said “Urs, how do you feel this morning?” He shrugged and said “ I don’t know, I think I feel like crying, but I don’t think I have anymore tears left in me after last night. I just want them back here where they belong, why can’t I have them back?” He turned and walked shakily back out of the kitchen. The other 3 looked at each other then got up and ran to find Urs after hearing something crashing. They found him in the lounge on the floor amongst a pile of glass holding his hand which was bleeding. “Oh god” said David. “Get me a towel now.” He sat himself down carefully beside Urs trying to avoid the glass and said “What have you done?”

Urs looked at David who was cleaning up the cut on his hand and said “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to drop it, I picked it up to look at it properly and I started shaking so I leant into the wall and knocked the picture of it. I jumped and dropped the picture I was holding and I bent down to pick the photo up.” “And cut yourself on the glass.” finished David. He looked at his hand and said “Its not bad, you’ll just need a plaster.” He helped him up off the floor and sat him on a chair and said “I’ll be right back.” Urs wasn’t listening to him, he was staring at the photo in his hand. David shook his head and walked off into the kitchen followed by Carlos and Seb. He took a plaster out of the box he found and handed it to Seb then said “I can’t do this again, I’m so tired and I don’t have the strength to be there for him constantly.” He stopped for a minute then said “I need to go back home and be with Jodie, will you two look after him and tell him everything he wants to know.” They both nodded and Carlos said “What if he asks where you’ve gone?” David closed his eyes then opened them and said “Tell him I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t stay here any longer.” He walked to the doorway and looked through at Urs who was still staring at the photograph. He turned back to the others and they saw he had tears running down his face. Seb went over to him and put his arm round him to try and comfort him. David took a deep breath and said “I feel so bad, just walking away when he needs me to be here for him.” “Don’t be.” said Carlos. “You have been here for him more than anyone of us, you need to focus on you again. We’ll look after him now, you just look after yourself.” He nodded then taking one last look at Urs he left the flat and went home.

He arrived at his place and found Jodie in the kitchen with Janet. She took one look at his face and went over and pulled him into a hug holding him as he started crying again. “He’s really bad isn’t he?” David pulled away and nodding said “Yes, and I just left him there. I couldn’t deal with it all again, I left him with the others and just walked away.” Jodie held him close and said “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine with the others, you can’t always be there for everyone, you’ll make yourself sick. Why don’t you go and get some sleep or I can run a bath for you if you want, then you can go to bed.” He nodded and said “When did it turn into you looking after me instead of me looking after you?” She smiled and said “Since you needed it more than me.” then she kissed him and went to start a bath for him. When it was ready she went to find him and she kissed him again and told him not to worry and to just get some sleep. She went back to the kitchen and her mum handed her a coffee and she smiled as she took it then they made their way through into the lounge and sat down. Jodie looked at her mum and said “He is so tired, he needs to stop worrying about me and about Urs and start thinking about himself. I need to start looking after him now, he did so much for me since everything happened and he helped me work through it.” She looked at Janet and saw the pain she still has in her eyes and said “I know and you know that we’ll never be truly over losing them, but we’ll learn to deal with it and get on with our lives which is what David has been doing with me.” She paused for a minute then said “He needs me to be there for him now though.” They sat in silence together while they finished their coffee then Jodie said “I’m going to go check he’s out of the bath as I haven’t heard him moving since I came through.” and she got up and went to see where he was and found him just getting into bed. She went and sat beside him and kissed him gently then lay down beside him as he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

It was a week later when he felt strong enough to find out how Urs was getting on. Simon had cancelled their itinerary indefinitely as Urs was in no fit state to leave the house let alone be part of IL Divo. He got out of bed and had a quick shower then went through and found Jodie watching the tv. She looked up and smiled as he sat down beside her and said “Hey babe, how are you feeling now?” He kissed her and said “So much better, I can’t believe you made me stay in bed all week.” She ran a finger down his cheek and said “You needed to rest, not just your body but your mind too.” He caught her hand and placed a kiss on it before saying “You are one of a kind and I love you.” “I love you too babe.” she said. He sighed as she cuddled into his side and he put his arm round her and said “Have you heard how Urs is?” He could feel her nodding and she said “Seb phoned earlier and said that he has started to eat a bit more and he wants to talk all the time, about Else and about Rachael.” She stopped for a minute and he looked down to see her face and said “How are you doing?” She sighed and said “I’m okay.” He frowned and said “Jodie.” She lifted her head to look at him and said “Honestly, I’m okay. Don’t you go getting all worried again.” He smiled softly and said “Sorry, I can’t help it when its someone that I love I’m worried about.” She leaned her head down again and said “That’s what makes you so special.” They stayed like that for a while just cuddled into each other then David said “How about we go out for something to eat then we go and see how Seb and Carlos are coping with Urs?” Jodie nodded and said “Sure, it will do us both good to get out of the house. Maybe we can try and get Urs out for a walk or something too.” David smiled and stood up taking her hand and helping her up said “That’s a great idea.” then kissed her before they got their jackets and left.

David and Jodie stopped of at a little café for some lunch before making their way to see how Urs was. Seb let them in and they found him sitting talking to Carlos in the living room. They both looked up as they walked in and he smiled when he saw David and he got up and gave him a hug then said “Thank you and don’t worry about leaving, the guys told me what you were like and they have been great with me.” David smiled and said “I would do it for any of you, how are you doing now?” They sat down and he said “I don’t know, better than the last time you were here, but I’m still not sleeping too well and I’m still seeing them everywhere I look.” Jodie nodded and said “I couldn’t sleep properly either, just lay there awake wondering why. But that does get better, I’m sleeping almost through the whole night again now.”

David got up and wandered through into the kitchen to find Seb who was cleaning up after their lunch and said “How are you and Carlos doing?” Seb smiled and said “We’re okay, we’ve been taking it in turns to sit up with him at night if he can’t sleep. We’ve managed to get him eating again, he wouldn’t take anything the first few days after you left.” He nodded and said “Jodie was the same, I had to make her eat. How has he really been?” Seb sighed and said “He’s spent a lot of the week crying, staring at all the photo’s he has of them and he’s been doing a lot of writing in that book. He is better today.” he stopped then said “He talks a lot to Carlos and I do all the other stuff like the cooking, cleaning and the first aid if needed, I’ve discovered that Carlos can’t cope with the sight of someone else’s blood.” David looked at him funny and Seb said “He’s gotten very clumsy, keeps dropping things that break and he ends up bleeding or he trips over something and cuts himself. We took all his photo’s out of their frames eventually so he couldn’t break anymore of them and cut himself on the glass.” David nodded and said “Do you think he’ll be okay outside? Jodie and I thought it would be a good idea to try and get him out of the house for a walk.”

Seb nodded and said “That’s a great idea, I think he’ll be okay. We’ll come with you as well.” He shook his head and said “No, you two stay here and get some rest. We’ll keep him out as long as we can.” Seb smiled at him and said “If you’re okay with that?” David nodded and they went back through to the others and sat down. David looked at Urs and said “Jodie was telling me she wanted to get out of the house more lately, she was feeling trapped being in the same place all the time, so we thought that we would get out more, go for a walk every day, somewhere different every time so we don’t see the same things every day.” He paused and looked at Jodie who nodded and carried on “We also thought it would be nice if you came with us. It would give you something to do other than sit in here all day and maybe give you something to look forward to each day.” Jodie smiled at him and said “All the fresh air might make you sleep a bit better too. What do you think Urs, will you come with us?” He looked at them and then around the room and said “I’m not sure, I feel okay when I’m inside, I don’t know if I can go out just yet.” She looked at him and said “There is only one way to find that out.” then she got up and went to get his jacket and came back and handed it to him. He looked at it and at her for a while then he reached out and took it slowly. He stood up and put it on saying “If I can’t do it we’ll come straight back won’t we?” David nodded and said “We’ll only go as far as you want to.” Urs took a deep breath and then followed David and Jodie to the door and left Carlos and Seb by themselves.

They walked out the door and turned up the street and started walking slowly. After a while Urs looked around him at everything and said “I didn’t realise it was so dark in the house, its so bright out here.” David looked at Jodie who said “Does it not feel good to get out in the fresh air Urs?” He never answered and they looked to see why, they saw that he was leaning against a fence that they had just come to, looking in at the gardens on the other side. “You okay Urs?” asked David. He turned to look at them with a tear running down his face and said “We used to take Rachael into here so she could play without being near the road.” He walked towards the gate and went inside. David and Jodie followed him and they sat down beside him on the bench he’d sat on and waited for him to speak knowing he had something on his mind. “I can see her climbing up on the frame over there and Else chasing her and then they would fall over and pretend they were hurt and I would go running to help them and when I got close they would just get up and run away.”

He smiled softly and said “I knew they were fine, but I still did it every time.” He looked in another direction then said “We had a picnic over there once, just under that tree and we didn’t realise there was a was a wasps nest in it and once we brought out all the food they of course started coming at us. Else and Rachael were so scared but I tried to show them I would protect them and ended up covered in wasp stings.” He put a hand up to his mouth and then said “They hurt so bad but I tried not to let them know that and Rachael chose that night to want to play horsies.” David smiled as he imagined Urs trying not to show he was in pain while Rachael was crawling all over him. They sat there for a bit longer with Urs telling them things that had happened in the gardens then he suddenly stood up and said “I want to go back now.” David nodded and said “Sure.” They left the gardens and headed back for the flat and found Seb and Carlos in the living room asleep.

This same routine went on for the next couple of months, Seb and Carlos would stay with him overnight and David and Jodie would come get him in the morning and each day Urs would stay out for longer and go further. They started to include a stop somewhere for a drink some days which Urs seemed to cope with okay. There was of course still the few days when he refused to leave the house but they were becoming less frequent as the days passed. He was also starting to sleep for longer during the nights as well and not have so many bad dreams which meant that it only needed one of the guys to stay with him so Seb would do one night and Carlos the following. One morning David turned up alone and found Urs looking through his songbook. He looked up as he heard someone coming in and said to David “I want to go see Simon today.” David looked at him in surprise then at Seb who had just appeared in the doorway and had heard it as well and said “Okay, shall I phone and make an appointment with him?”

Urs shook his head and said “I already talked to him this morning, he said just to come down whenever.” Urs looked up again and said “Where’s Jodie today?” “She’s meeting Fiona, she thinks that Jodie doesn’t need to see her anymore. As long as she keeps talking and doesn’t keep things in she doesn’t need to see her anymore.” said David. Seb smiled at him and said “That’s good news, things seem to be getting better for everyone.” then he walked back out the door. David followed him and said “What’s he wanting to see Simon for? Has he told you anything?” Seb shook his head and said “That is the first time he’s mentioned it, he must have phoned Simon when I was in the shower.” David nodded and said “I hope he’s alright.” Just then Urs appeared with his coat and said “Are we ready to go?” then walked out the door leaving Seb and David staring at him. They quickly got their coats and joined him outside and walking down the street David said “What are you wanting to see Simon for?” Urs looked at the ground then said “I want to ask him something, Carlos should be on his way there too, I sent him a text asking him to meet us there.” David and Seb looked at each other worriedly, whatever it was didn’t sound good.

A short taxi ride later and they were standing outside the Sony BMG buildings. Urs just walked in and then turned when the others didn’t move and said “Will you two come on, this is important.” David knew the feeling in his stomach was fear, fear that this was going to be the end of IL Divo, that Urs was wanting them all to be there when he told Simon he couldn’t come back to sing with the guys. They could never replace him, would never even think of trying, it would be over for all of them. He glanced up at the back of Sebastien who had started walking in and wondered if he had the same feelings as him. They stood in silence going up in the elevator and got out on Simon’s floor immediately appearing in front of his secretary who welcomed them all with a smile and told them to sit down while she told Simon they were there. Seconds later and she was back saying they could go right in and they all stood up again and entered his office. First thing they noticed was Carlos sitting by the desk with a worried look on his face then Simon stood up and coming round the desk stood in front of Urs and said “Its good to see you out and about Urs, how are you coping with things?” then told them all to sit down while waiting for him to answer.

He went and sat down again before Urs said “I’m doing a lot better thanks Simon, these guys have been amazing with me, I’m amazed they never gave up on me.” Carlos shook his head and said “We would not do that, you’re our friend and you needed us.” Urs smiled as Seb and David both nodded in agreement then Simon said “I’m almost afraid to ask this question, but why did you ask to see me today?” He looked at the other three who just shrugged and he looked back at Urs who took his book out of his bag and said “Since the day that we got the news, I’ve been writing in here how I was feeling and how I thought I was coping, even more so after I finally admitted that they were really gone. There is one in particular that I wrote, one that the guys have all seen and one I never thought I would be able to do anything with as it was too personal and hurt too much.” Simon stared at him and said “I’m sorry Urs, you’ve lost me.” He took a deep breath and said “There is a song in here that I’ve written that I want to record, not just with me singing it though, as the four of us and I was thinking that although we have never done it in the past, we should release it as a single song CD and donate all the proceeds to a charity that deals with bereaved families all the time.”

He looked up at the others and saw 3 shocked faces looking back at him and Seb said “This is the one that I asked if you would ever record and you said “Non, it would be too painful?” Urs nodded and said “Yes, but that was then, it was still too close to when it happened, now it will still be painful, but I think and feel that this is something I need to do to help me get over this more completely.” He turned to look back at Simon who was looking totally bewildered and said “Will that be okay? For us to record it and put it on sale?” Simon nodded slowly and said “If its what you really want, but are you sure you can sing it okay? And what are we going to tell the public about why you’re doing this because as you said, you never release songs, just albums.” “Tell them the truth, they know that something bad has happened anyway, I’ve been looking on the forum at nights when I can’t sleep and there is so many rumours on there about why we took this break so suddenly.

This way they’ll know the truth and that we’re using what happened to help others who have gone through the same thing. I’m sure a lot of our fans have lost someone close to them too.” said Urs looking round at the guys who had helped him get to this stage and said “Without these guys I would never have made it, I’d have given up long ago and I think its time to give back to them and the people who do it all the time.” Simon nodded and said “Okay, I’ll get in touch with the studio and see when I can get you in, do you want it sooner rather than later?” Urs smiled and said “Sooner if that’s possible, I want to do this and be able to move even further forward.” Simon nodded and picked up the phone signalling the end of the conversation. The guys all got up and walked out of his office but Urs turned just as he reached the door and said “Simon.” He looked up and Urs said “Thank you.” then left his office.

By the end of the following week the guys had been in and recorded the song, they were singing it all in English so that most people would hear the words and understand the meaning behind it. Urs had even said he would be able to appear on tv and sing it but only once, so they had chosen GMTV as it was the one show that they felt at home in, it being recorded in London and also having been there so many times already. That appearance was in a couple of days and the song was being released the same day. A few days later they were all round at Urs place talking about it and how he was going to cope because he had had tears running down his face the whole time they were in the studio recording it. Seb had been right when he’d said it would make a good song, it made a wonderful song, so beautiful but yet so sad at the same time. Urs assured them that he would be fine, and even if he did let the tears out it would show just how much the song means to him. They all nodded and then they all left but Carlos as the show was the next morning and being GMTV they had to be there for at least 6am.

The morning came too quickly and they found themselves sitting in a dressing room, somewhere they hadn’t been for so long now and were all sitting quietly thinking about the show. They had been amazed at the amount of fans waiting outside for them, yes, there had always been fans there when they did GMTV but there just seemed to be so many this time. They were already dressed and were just waiting to be called when Urs said “I don’t know if I can do this.” They looked up at him and he said “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid that I’ll go out there and not be able to sing, it was alright in the studio because there wasn’t that many people there, but this is in a tv studio and there is going to be a lot of people watching it.” His voice was so quiet and shaky and he looked really white. Jodie got up and went to sit beside him and put her arm round him and said “I know you can do this Urs, you are so much stronger than you think you are and I know that Else and Rachael are both looking down right now and saying “You can do this, you have to do this.” They wouldn’t want you to stop now, I bet you anything they are so proud of how you’ve come on and what you’re doing with this song, just like all of us are.” He looked at her and blinked away the tears that were there and said “You’re right, I know you are, I just need a few minutes alone to think about it all, do you guys mind?” He looked round them and they all nodded and David said “We’ll be outside if you need us.” He smiled and nodded as they all got up and left the room. Jodie stopped at the door and said “I know I’m not her, but this is me giving you this from her.” then she walked back to him and kissed him softly on the cheek and said “You can do this.” then she walked out the room leaving him alone.

10 minutes passed and a studio guy appeared telling them they were on in 5 minutes so they all went back into the room to tell Urs who nodded and took a deep breath and said “Okay, I’m ready.” They followed him out of the room and to the side of the studio to wait until they were told to go and sit on the sofa. After a few minutes they moved over to the sofa and sat beside the presenters and then the interview started. The first thing they were asked was “The last time we saw you about 5 months ago you were in the middle of a large promotional tour then you just suddenly disappeared. Can you tell us why this happened?” Urs looked at the ground and David said “About 9 months ago we lost two people that were very close to us, to Urs especially.” Urs looked up then and said “I lost my fiance and our daughter who were in a car accident. They were on the way to the church where we were meant to be getting married.” The presenter looked really shocked and said “I’m sorry to hear that and that’s why you just disappeared suddenly.” Urs just nodded and Seb said “He had us all really worried because he wouldn’t believe they were gone, it took him about 4 months to really admit it and that’s when we took our break.” “Okay, so this song that is being released today, you don’t normally do this, but this has a special purpose doesn’t it?” “Yes.” said Carlos. “It was Urs idea, its one of the songs he wrote about how he felt called ‘How Do I’ and he wanted to release it as a single and have all the funds go towards people who dedicate their lives to helping people who have lost loved ones and are needing help.” “And you’re going to perform it for us in a few minutes, aren’t you?” Urs nodded and said “I felt that we had to perform it just once.” “Well, thank you for choosing GMTV to do it on.”

They moved over to where they were going to sing and Urs took a deep breath and took the microphone being handed to him. They could hear the presenters introducing them and the song and then the music started playing and Urs started to sing the first verse.

There she goes once again,
The ghost of our love, it's making me shiver,
It's only small drops of pain,
But even the rain can turn into rivers,
Thought I'd be safe, living behind this wall,
But the pressures too much, and it's starting to fall.

So how do I get over you,
How do I survive living half the life that I knew,
Oh how do I get over you?
When you take away,
Everything I held to be true,
I wonder if you feel it too, do you?

Everywhere that I turn, there's something there,
Something to remind me,
When I sleep it's alone, still I reach out,
As if you're beside me,
Thought I'd be safe, I tried to find something new,
But everything that I did,
Is something we used to do.

So how do I get over you,
How do I survive living half the life that I knew,
Oh how do I get over you?
When you take away,
Everything I held to be true,
I wonder if you feel it too, do you?

Seems like every place, every person we knew,
Every sound every taste, reminds me of you,
I thought this would be gone, but it's still so strong,
I keep holding on, what else can I do?

So how do I get over you,
How do I survive living half the life that I knew,
Oh how do I get over you?
When you take away,
Everything I held to be true,
I wonder if you feel it too, do you?


They finished singing and Urs wiped away the tears that had managed to get out and it went back to the presenters who looked like they were stunned and one said “Well, that is called ‘How Do I’ and is out to buy today, I know I’ll definitely be getting a copy. Thank you once again guys for coming in this morning.

The rest of the year passed really quickly as Urs went back to work not long after the appearance on GMTV. He still missed them both terribly, he always would, but had started to smile again, to laugh with the guys. He spent the first anniversary of their deaths at the place where he had scattered their ashes, remembering all the good times they had had together and feeling that they were still there floating in the wind around him. He had gone to hand over one of a few large cheque’s to the organization the money from the single was going to and had left with tears in his eyes at how nice they had been and they were now planning the next World Tour. David and Jodie were still as strong as ever having just discovered that Jodie was pregnant, they had been worried about telling Urs, but he had been really happy for them telling them both to enjoy every moment together.

They were just coming towards the end of their tour, they’d been on the road for just over 7 months and it had been so successful that they had kept adding on extra dates. But the last few days were arriving and David was quite glad as Jodie was nearly at 9 months and had stopped traveling with them and he just wanted to be back with her. Urs also had the second anniversary coming up and was going back to spend the day near them as he had the year before. The last night of the tour arrived, Jodie able to be there to see it with her mum as it was in London, she didn’t go to the aftershow party though, just being at the show tiring her out. David just showed up for an hour then left to go home to her. The next couple of days were just spent relaxing and getting used to home life again. They had no work planned now until the new album came out at the end of the following year and they weren’t due to start recording that until the beginning of the year. Seb and Carlos were over at Urs’s for dinner when they got the call that Jodie had gone into labour and raced to the hospital to see how she was. She eventually gave birth to a little girl not long after midnight and after making sure they were both alright were allowed to have visitors. David handed her to Urs who held her so carefully and he felt tears running down his face when Jodie asked him if he would mind if they named her after Else.

He shook his head unable to speak for a minute then said “I think she would be delighted to know you named her after her.” They sat there for a while longer then the nurse came in and said Jodie had to rest so Urs handed her back to David and him, Carlos and Seb went home saying they would be back in the morning. It was only when they got outside the hospital that Urs realised what day it was. He stopped and grabbed onto Seb’s arm to steady himself, Seb turned to see why he had stopped and saw that he had gone pale and sat him down on the nearby wall and said “What is it Urs?” Carlos looked on concerned as Urs just shook his head then smiled and said “Today is the 2nd anniversary of Else and Rachael, with all the emotion of the baby coming I never thought of what day it was.” Seb smiled and said “Now we have something good to remember this day for, not just sad.” and he hugged Urs who smiled and they started walking again.

Urs still thinking of his Else and then David and Jodie’s Else and how they both shared a day special to them all never noticed the bike coming towards him and walked right into its path causing the rider to brake suddenly and fall off in front of him. He bent down to check they were okay and found himself staring into a female face. He apologised and the woman laughed and said “It was my fault, I should have been looking where i was going.” then she surprised him by saying “I don’t start my shift for another half hour, do you want to get a coffee?” he looked at her and said “I’m sorry, now is not a good time for me.” She looked down and said “That’s okay, I don’t normally do that but you looked like you have something on your mind and thought you might want to talk to someone but of course you wouldn’t want to talk to a stranger would you, just forgive me, I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.” she rambled on a bit more before Urs could get her to stop and he laughed and said “You’re right, I do have something on my mind and it would be good to tell someone that doesn’t already know everything, but not today. I have plans already today.” he paused then said “Just so we aren’t strangers, my name is Urs.” The lady smiled and said “I’m Lauren.” She wrote down her number on a piece of paper and handing it to him said “When you feel like you want to talk, just give me a call.” then she looked at the time and said “I better go, I hope to hear from you soon.” then she made her way into the hospital while Urs made his way over to Carlos and Seb who had watched the whole thing from the car, he got in and said nothing and they never asked him knowing he would do what he felt right. They dropped him off at his house where he got a few things together and then started the long drive to be with his girls. As he sat there, like the following year, he remembered the time they had spent together and he felt like they were there with him, but he also felt that they didn’t stay close as long. He smiled as he thought how she hadn’t liked being in one space too long and that this was their way of telling him they were okay. He knew at that moment that this was the last time he would come here and he got up and walked slowly to his car and drove off slowly looking back in the mirror only once.

The End.